Transcript
Maybe I'm just, like weird. Maybe I'm crunchy, this is the southern tea with Lindsie Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and in all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. I'm joined Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea is the tea. Here's Lindsey. Good morning, and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. Good morning, Christine. Hello, Lindsay. I just need to vent for a second to every parent that is listening to this. Parents who are parenting adult children, that parent to the littles at one point and then just all of my girlfriends who are listening summer effectively needs to end. Yesterday, I think it's the general consensus amongst all of my mom friends as well. You know, the government seems to think that they have everything figured out and all of their policies and procedures for the United States of America is very effective. Where I would disagree one being plans for children outside of the school year, unlike OK, you can require us to send our children to school for a certain amount of hours a day for X amount of days out of the year, but you don't give one single iota. What happens when those school doors close on the last day of school until the first day of school? Absolutely. Like, they don't care at all. They're like, Listen, we've done this long enough. Yeah. Like, they literally do not care. I woke up this morning and I swear I feel like in the summertime when you have to work, you have kids home. I feel like there's truly not enough hours in the day, but the days also feel very long because you feel very overwhelmed. So as much as I could have prepared for my day, I still feel like I was not prepared enough. I feel like waking your child up and I say my children, Jackson and Georgia, waking my kids up at 7:30, getting them shower, getting ready for the sitter to come here for four hours, to give me for our time slot to get all of the things that I need to get done for this household, for work. Anything personal? Four hours. While I'm blessed to have someone to be able to come and help, I'm still feeling completely overwhelmed. I think that's normal, I think summer is just really hard from everything that my mom friends say and what I see everybody thought our moms experience. It's definitely a hard, hard couple of months. Years are coming to a close though, right? Because you're because Jackson goes back to school once the beginning of August. Well, I actually was. I ran to the gym this morning and as I was walking out, Jackson's third grade teacher was walking in and she was like, How's Jackson? And I'm thinking to myself, he's doing really well. But if the behavior continues of what I experienced before I left that house this morning, he's not. He's going to be very unwell. They go back to school. The teachers go back to school on July, the twenty fourth year. Oh my God, that's like a little over a week away. Yes. And I'm like, That seems so sure. I'm sure the teachers feel like summer is a very, very short. And as parents think that summer isn't very, very long. So I had given instructions when I left this house to head to the gym, I was like, OK. Jackson showered teeth, brush got his breakfast, laid out dogs been taken out. I just need you guys to be out of the house for four hours. While I get things done around here, I can't focus on what I need to focus on. If it sounds like you guys are falling through the ceiling, so like the ride scooters go to the park, I don't know. Like, just do whatever you want to outside of the house. Could you not? I come home and Jackson's trying to grab a damn water the refrigerator, and I'm like, Oh, that's interesting, because that was specifically not the instructions that were given. I'm quite confused why you think you're running the show, because last time I checked, you don't pay any bills and you aren't your own boss, contrary to your belief. So I'd have a long conversation with a babysitter about like, you're the adult, he is the child. When I instruct you to do something, that means the instruction is supposed to go to him, and if he disobey is at that point, you threaten him. You say, like, I'm going to get your mom on the phone. Like, either you do this the first time I ask or I'm getting your mom on the phone simple. You know what's so funny to me? I feel like any other time Jackson wants to do all the things outside of the house with you. Oh, for sure. I don't know why he wanted to be in this house. Maybe he was in the damn place to see all the deliveries that I've received from QVC, HSN and all the other places that I've been ordering. He's not also supposed to be on technology, and I get home, sit down, check my email and realize that there is an app request. And I'm like, Oh, interesting, because how would there be an app request unless you were actually on your tablet? And it makes me think back to last week when we were talking about us thinking we were like the best bamboozle vs. kids. Oh, yeah, like, did you think that through when you were requesting access for an app that I was going to get the email? I wonder if he thought, like, I don't know, I want to. Does it tell him that he's requesting access? Yes, it makes you like her request. He was definitely going to bamboozle and be like, No, remember that time that you told me I could use my tablet? Oh, and then. So as I was driving him to the basketball park yesterday, Southern to use playing, and he's listening to all of our craziness and he's like, I just love this show. I just love it so much. I love everything you all talk about. It's really funny. And he was like, But I'm a smarter kid than you and Kristen were. Oh, OK. And I'm like, Oh, really? I don't dispute that. But. And he then proceeds to say, Mom, remember when you and miss Caroline used to sit and drink that bubbly stuff that I kept the lid? He's talking about the cork. Do you remember when you guys used to do that all the time? And I would bamboozle you and miss Caroline? And I'm like, No, because you thought you were bamboozling us, but we actually knew exactly what was going on the whole time. So I'm just like, Oh my god. I'm also I'm wondering if Jackson's teacher from last year is possibly going to call like adult welfare services when she saw my face this morning from where I'd gone to my skate appointment. Oh my God. Got botox and have bruises all over my face and also got, you know, like a little bit of lip filler and have a bruise right in the middle of my mouth literally looks like somebody's sucker punched me. So I'm like, she definitely thinks I'm in an abusive relationship, so that's a good name. Do you not do your proper prep before you go to these appointments? What do you mean? There's like a whole prep to like. Make sure that you really don't bruise. There is something called arnica, which is like agent, or I would call it like a supplement. Yeah, that you are supposed to take leading up to any type of like injectable appointments. Yeah, there's way more stuff than just that. You're supposed to avoid certain foods like, don't eat garlic, don't eat. I'm not doing all that. I'm not doing all right. I'll just look like this for a couple of days and I'll be fine. That's exactly right. I'm like, I don't have time for all of that preparation. That seems like a lot. I do good to get my little skincare routine with like five products. Yeah. Done in the day. Yeah, I do feel really successful and I actually am able to do my skincare both in the a.m. and the PM. Oh yeah. Like, if you've been able to successfully do that a.m. and p.m., you had a good day. I have to ask you a question. Well, before you ask me the question, can we also just talk about my electrical issue that's going on in this house? When you texted me about that the other day and like, really, you were just like, Yeah, can you try to find the electrician that was here because he needs to come fix some stuff? I was like, Oh, yeah, sure. But then when you proceeded to explain the actual problems, I'm like, Lindsay, you basically don't have any functioning electric in your house. So what kind of a huge problem? I was so nonchalant about it, which is even more alarm. Yeah, very alarmed. I was like, Oh, I'm just like at some point, like, this needs to be fixed if you could just like, put it on the to do list, like non urgent. So I don't know how anyone feels about this, but. When will and I were in college, we had like an all in one ceiling fan like any like function that it could do. It was like all night and it had a remote. And Will said when we left that townhouse, he was like, We will never own another one of these again. It's a pain in the ass, like, you need something on the wall, not like a remote function. So I move into this house and I see fans and I don't look at the functioning part of these fans. I look at the aesthetics and I'm like, Oh, those are really sleek. Those look really nice. Like, I like the the covering on the white part. The other part doesn't look gaudy because I personally feel like you need a fan in every room, but I also feel like they kind of look tacky. I don't think that my parents, like had any fans except like on a porch. And maybe it's because Todd thought they were tacky, but like, I put them in all of my rooms, right? I have the same like every single bedroom has a fan. Every I don't like still air. So like every bedroom has a fan and both of my living rooms have doubles and I can't sleep without the fan going. Yeah. One thousand percent. I just cannot do stagnant air. I don't know why I feel. Even if the temperature in the house is down to like sixty five degrees, if the air is not moving. I get hot. Yeah, it just feels stiff and like there's something about it that's weird. So of course, I like everything to also look consistent between rooms. So the fans have to be the exact same in every bedroom. My living room, my bedroom, my guest bedroom, Jackson's room all has the exact same fan and I'm not chopped. So all of a sudden the lights just stopped working, and the last person that touched on in my bedroom was Trent. So the next time he comes over, I said, You have signed up for an electrical fixing. You have now become an electrician because you were the last person to touch there. So obviously you broke it. I will say and confess that I've had problems with these lights and bands before, and I feel like maybe they were like improperly wired or something. The electrician did say they were like very complicated wiring, and they also all have remotes. But the remotes are on the wall. So like instead of you having like an actual like physical, like holding remote, it's all wired to the wall. So as all of these lights don't work and any of the bedrooms, half of the fans work, some of the fixtures altogether just don't work. I decide that I'm going to be a good girlfriend and I'm going to be super prepared. I'm going to go to Publix, I'm going to get us bourbon salmon, I'm going to get a sweet potato and salad, and I'm going to make us a nice meal in this house, which I never do. So I go to put this sweet potato in the oven and it just sits at 100 degrees and it's not even 100 degrees like it has even started the preheating process. So I'm like, something is very wrong. So now not only are the lights and the fans have working, but the ovens like completely out. Something tells me you just have a massive electrical issue going on. Something tells me that it could possibly be spirit because they say that spirit messes with electricity. And remember, I don't know if I talked about it on coffee convos or if I talked about it on the southern tea. But remember me telling you that, like some weird stuff was going on with my doorbell and it would be like random and I was hearing what these phantom doorbell rings? Yes, this is not to be confused with the actual yeah, this is not to be confused with the actual psychoses doorbell ringing. This was actually like either Phantom Doorbell ringing or someone was ringing the doorbell. I just don't know who it was, but nobody was ever there. I didn't want to tell anybody about this phantom doorbell ringing because I would wake up in the middle of the night, hear this, and I'm like, OK, obviously I'm possessed. You don't think it's me, it's me. I am the problem. It's me. So I'm just like riding this situation for what felt like weeks and I kept I would hear it just like at random, like when I get in the shower or just like, be sleeping, wake up in the middle of the night, like four o'clock in the morning. Just weird. So I finally confide in my dad and tell him about this, and he's like, That's interesting, because our oven just went out and I told the story about my nanny's oven going out and feeling like it was like my papa spirit. Now my oven out and my lights are getting messed up, so my choice for maybe a year, someone's spirit is here. I mean, listen, you never know. And the weird thing is, is my nanny's oven would like randomly work. So like one day you could turn it on and it would bake a thing, a cornbread. And then one day you would try to turn it on, and it was like the entire switchboard was out. Same thing with these lights and same thing with this oven. Listen, maybe the spirit doesn't want sweet potatoes, and I just need to cook dino nuggets. I'm like, That's all that really ever goes in there. Dining ideas and tater tots. Any go and evidently, well, sweet potato. Christine, as I was ushering Jackson out of the House this morning, he slams his scooter down in the garage and runs into this house, grabs two waters and dips. He's a little thief. You know, I'm just thankful that it's water. I would rather him drink that than anything. But the timing was just like, not great. You're like, I needed you out. I will tell you that I'm a little surprised also that we all know that the cherry has been my go to, but I tried a new flavor. Oh, really? BlackBerry. OK. I love the BlackBerry one. It's so good. I didn't know if I was going to like it, but the BlackBerry is really, really good. Those of you have never heard of Hint Hint infuses pure water with fruit essences to create authentic fruit flavors without any sugar, diet sweeteners or calories. I don't know how they possibly do this, and it taste as good as it does here is on a mission to help people drink more water by making it taste great, and it feels more like it's a treat rather than an obligation. And Jackson ran into this house acting like he was even candy. I have just been doing a lot of investigation on like health related things ever since. I've been like really trying to get on my health game this year and too much sugar in general. It's just really bad for you. And soda and sugary drinks are linked to increased risks of diabetes, heart attack and stroke, which all have like a family history like in my family. So I don't need to be consuming as much soda as I was and hint water has definitely helped me get off the soda kick. I feel like for everyone, if you listen to either of my podcast, you know that I am no longer on soda, don't even care about it. And I feel like if you're trying to also make that turn, this is a great way to do it. You can find hint water at retail stores like Walmart, Target and Kroger, or have it delivered directly to your door from Hint Water dot com. New customers can get hints for just $1 a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's thirty six bottles for thirty six dollars and free shipping just use code Southern T at checkout. Go ahead and ask me whatever this is that is so pressing. OK, so what the hell's going on with this documentary crap that I heard you're supposedly allegedly participating in? OK, so where you want me to start? What is it? That's such a loaded question. Well, what are you participating into? Like what? What the hell was it? But before I even get to that, a production company after my parents were convicted, a production company started reaching out on Facebook Messenger and I thought it was a scam. I was like, This is someone that's literally trying to steal my identity. This is someone who lives in another country and they're going to hack all of my social media accounts become me, and I'm screwed. So I just ignored this girl for, like, ever. So then she started emailing. Didn't she email you? Yep, she emailed me, and she found me on Instagram. So she emailed Kristen. Kristen kicked it to my management because we were at that point. More so from a nosy standpoint. Like, what exactly is this documentary and what exactly are they trying to say and do? The only reason I ever had any communication with this person was to actually find out what narrative was trying to be spun, because we all know that the media basically says and does whatever they want to at the expense of whoever. So I'm like, this could potentially be. I've seen documentaries like Go One Way and It Be Positive and documentaries go another way and it be totally negative and toxic. So I'm like, I have no idea, like what is even going on with this back up? I had had conversations with my dad about potentially participating in a minimal capacity on a reality show in the event that there was another reality show after Chrisley Knows Best. You also know that this is true because I had the same conversation with you regarding my scheduling and how we all live in two different states, like everybody else is in Nashville and I'm in Atlanta, so that just wouldn't make sense. But for the calls, like I will minimally participate, I don't really have any desire to ever return to reality TV. So that kind of was like going on in the background. And I just decided that I'm not going to participate in something that one. I don't even know what the Heck's going on. What could they possibly document that would even be relevant that anyone doesn't already know about? To not really worth my time and also not fair to people who the document like they would be documenting about people who can't potentially defend themselves in the event that they would need to defend themselves. So at that point, you know, I said, I'm not participating whatsoever, so I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty, like involving other family members. But it had been said that I was going to be a participant in this car, was going to be a participant in this nanny was going to be a participant in this. My dad's brother was going to be a participant in this. So that's where I was like, Wait, I thought, you said no, and then here we are. So that had kind of been like drew in around in the family. Like there was a couple of people that were making allegations saying that we were going to be like these participants in this documentary that I don't even know what the hell it's about. Never signed up to do that. Never agreed to do that was also said that, you know, it wasn't our place. It was our story. At the end of the day, we all have a different story. So I don't think from my understanding that this documentary was going to be singularly about one particular person and it was more about what was going or what had happened prior to Chrisley Knows Best and what that life looked like. I can point blank say my life and my raising. There's a seven and eight year age gap between Chase and Savannah, so I lived seven and eight years longer than they have and before they were born. So I have seven or eight years of a different life that they were not exposed to correct. And that is my right to tell that that is my right to tell that part of my story. I also came from parents who were not a nuclear home, right? Your upbringing was just different. And so I don't know. I just got pissed off. So then there was. Also, some allegations about oh, well, the only reason that participation isn't happening is because there's no money to be paid on a documentary and would you like to reverse everyone who's listening on how that works? Yeah, most documentaries don't pay for appearance, but they pay for archive, which is essentially like things that you can bring to the table. So childhood photos, diary entries, things like that, they pay for that type of material. Otherwise, if they paid for appearances, it would kind of work against the authenticity, I think, in the integrity of the actual documentary. Yes. And as far as paying for archive, how that works is you set your price for the archive. So if you value a family home video at however much value you want to place on it, they can either decide that they want to pay it or they want to negotiate or if they just don't want it at all. So that's how that works, and I'm not providing anything like my family. Stuff that I have in my attic is going to remain in my attic, and I'm also just not going to be accused of something that I didn't do, but it's par for the course. Anything that negatively could be placed on me, I feel like has at some point from the time that I left the show, and I'm quite honestly just sick of it. Yeah. Well, just I think at this point he has to be exhausting. Well, and I feel like since I did leave Chrisley Knows Best in Twenty Seventeen, I feel like certain family members feel like they own their rights to this TV space. And it's like where you might feel like you been on TV longer than someone that doesn't give you the right to act like you run it. Because last time I checked, no one signed anybody up to be a collective voice for the entire family. Like I'm an adult, I'm raising a child and have been doing so successfully for almost 11 years. So quite honestly, I'm just going to say this and move on from it. I don't give a f**k. OK, well, thanks for clarifying for me because I was a little confused. Same. Moving on from that, I saw this one. VIDEO Again, we'll post the video. It was talking about not settling for a guy who likes other girls photos on Instagram, and they're not talking about like pictures of liking somebody else's like family photos or like their dogs. You're talking about thirst traps like titties hanging out a*s photos, you know, just like the run of the mill thirst traps. And when the man does that, it's letting the girl and everyone that follows her know that he's looking and likes what he sees. And it's embarrassing to the girlfriend in that situation and starts making her play the comparison game. And it's a basic respect to not do this when you're in a relationship. And if this is happening, you should only need to address it one time. And if it continues, he cares more about liking random photos than your personal feelings, and you should be able to clearly state your boundaries and they should be clearly expressed and respected. So I saw this video definitely agree with, you know, get yourself a new boyfriend at that point. But I will say I do feel like there's a double standard when it comes to men doing this and then like kind of getting obviously s**t on for doing this, like it's not right when you're in a relationship to be doing that. But I don't feel like the same emphasis is placed on women liking guys photos. I don't feel like that's ever talked about it talked about, and it's equally as disrespectful, in my opinion. I don't care if it's like, you know, there's like one thing of like having having celebrity crushes and whatever and like your, your partner usually knows that. But like, you shouldn't get to just as a female, get to go like men's photos and not you not feel like you have to uphold the same boundary you're expecting. OK, I just want to say that there have been times that I have been in dating situations or in a relationship with someone that I definitely would go through. Who they followed would click on certain people's profiles and then go to their likes like women should truly be the head of the FBI because like, we can find out anything. Go to their likes and. See if the person I was dating or in a relationship with was liking these girl stuff, and I feel like your finger just didn't slip to me like you double tapped on that and that does kind of cause a little bit of concern. And I don't think it's an insecurity. It's respect, right? Like at the point that you're still in the phase that you are looking at other women in that way. And I think it's natural to have an attraction towards what you're attracted to, right? Yeah. But at the same time, you should have enough self-control and respect not only for yourself, but for your relationship not to be putting yourself in those types of positions. And at what point do people view that as a wandering eye? We'll just think to. It's just like an embarrassing situation like I can think of off the top of my head five different scenarios that have occurred and just with like my friend group of people that I know where other females have caught someone significant other liking another girl's photos. And it's embarrassing. Yeah, because then it causes question to people who know you guys to be like, What's going on in that relationship that I would randomly be scrolling and see that he likes that girl stuff? Like, Is there something that's going on that I need to maybe like, notify my girlfriend, Hey, this might be something that you need to look into. And then are you a bad friend for doing that? Well, right, I mean that right there is like one of those scenarios of some people want to know and some people don't want to know. So like, that's just a whole can of worms that it's just easier to not put someone in that position by just like not doing the behavior that's causing it. Also, how do we all feel about your man following their ex on social media? I mean, when I was younger, I gave a s**t. Now I don't, I would. I don't care. So for me, I feel like the rule should be if you guys were just like casual dating or something like before me and there was no sexual relationship whatsoever, I feel like it would be petty and immature to, like, unfollow that person just because you guys were no longer going on dates to the local Mexican. But in the event that you've had a sexual relationship with that person, you're still double tapping on their photos, which causes the girlfriend in that situation to question like, OK, you were sleeping around with her, saw all of her body parts, and now you're liking her stuff that makes me feel like, OK, are you secretly communicating? OK, so if they were like liking photos, then I would have an issue with it. But like as far as staying following them, like I don't really care like about like who you follow, I care about who you interact with. I don't follow my exes on social media. I don't need to see their stuff at the point that they are not relevant in my life anymore. Anything that they're doing on social media is irrelevant. You're also super active on social. So I feel like I'm looking at it from a place of like, I think about Corey, right? And that man is never on Instagram. So his his following situation probably hasn't changed since high school, like the end of high school into college. Whenever Instagram came out, it probably hasn't changed since then. So like, I feel like that might be a little bit of a different situation, and I do feel like this entire topic that we're talking about. You have to look at your actual situation, having a conversation about this and coming from a place of understanding and not anger and approaching. This is one thing I feel like at the point that it becomes an argument, that's when it gets a little bit tricky. In my opinion, if the person is doing this that you're with, you address this and they immediately don't stop. I wholeheartedly agree with what this video says that they don't care enough about your personal feelings over whatever their personal feelings may be and what they're getting from liking these people, these girls photos. Oh, I absolutely agree, but I think about that for anything, right? So like if you care about somebody and they, then they come to you and they say, Hey, this is bothering me, I, you know, this is a boundary for me, like, please don't do this. If I care enough about them, I'm going to stop. If I don't care, I'm going to keep doing it. And if I don't care, then I don't belong in a relationship with them, whether that's friendship built like friendship. Romantic, whatever. I feel like it goes, oh, it just goes back to boundaries and respect and you know how you value those relationships in your life, in my opinion. Agreed. OK, Lindsay, you know what, I just ordered for my trip coming up. What will you guys have been talking about the order and stuff. So I kept seeing ads for Lumi and I finally decided to order it because honestly, he doesn't want to smell better when you're naked. And I'm going on an upcoming trip to Myrtle Beach and it is humid there. It's like an armpit. So definitely don't. Definitely don't want to be stinking and Lumi. I'm super excited. It's a whole body deodorant. So Pitt's privates and beyond. And it was actually created by an OB-GYN who discovered and proved in clinical testing that the vagina is not to blame for day to day odor below the belt. So she actually developed Lumi, which is uniquely formulated balance deodorant. It's aluminum free, skin safe, clinically proven to control any odors for up to 72 hours. I don't know if anybody's like me, but just like when you're like traveling to somewhere hot and you're living in leggings and stuff, things can get a little steamy and I just don't want to deal with it, so I can't wait to put Lumi to the test. There's so much like different products out there that I feel like we've all tried, and I talked about with Kale about one product that I absolutely loved and it was Lumi. I love that it's aluminum free. That's always something that I'm looking for and a deodorant baking soda free and paraben free. The balance for safe use below the belt, I think, is an absolute must have. And they have a variety of fresh, bright scents like the clean tangerine lavender sage or the toasted coconut. To be honest, I've only tried the lavender sage. Absolutely love it. And they have a starter pack so perfect for new customers. That's what I got. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, creme tube deodorant, two free products of your choice so you can choose the mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for Southern listeners. New customers will get $5 off a Lumi starter pack with Code Southern Tea at Lumi Deodorant dot com. That equates to over 40 percent off your starter pack when you visit Lumi Deodorant dot com and use code Southern Tea. That's L U M e deodorant dot com and use code seventy. Not the same thing, but kind of on the same topic. I'm going to give you a situation and I want to know like how you would respond to this event. OK. Say you're like out of town on a work trip somewhere and you're unavailable to do something with your significant other. But they want to go out and hang out with their friends and also want to hang out with your friends. Like, do you think that that's weird? No. Again, depends on where you're at in your relationship. Like, how long have you been together? Are you married or are you just dating like, you know, that type of situation? But if if I'm putting myself in that situation of Corey called me and I was out of town for work and he was like, Hey, you know, the friend group invited me to go here. I would be like, OK, go like, why are you even asking? I think in my situation, when most everybody is either in a dating situation or single that changes the entire game. Yeah, I would say yes, and I feel like we're you can trust your partner, probably. I don't trust most women farther than I can throw them, and I damn sure in. Yeah, yeah. I think about situations and I'm like, OK, maybe you shouldn't put yourself in situations too, where anything could happen because you might trust yourself. But I don't trust her. I see what you're saying. There's definitely been different situations where I'm like, OK, I trust you. I don't trust the people around you when you're when you might be into heavily toxic partner. And I already know, you know, histories and personalities that are around you and you know what they've done, what they do doesn't matter their relationship status. I've definitely been in scenarios like that where I'm like, I'm definitely not comfortable. And it's kind of like, if you know someone else really well, let's say, like a friend. Not all the time do all of your morals and character 100 percent align, right? Yeah. Your values, whatever someone else does in a relationship, really isn't my business. Am I going to condone certain things? No. But is it my place to stick my nose in certain things that don't involve me? Also know, like I'm not going to end a friendship over someone that, like I'm close friends with, might be doing something that, like I wouldn't choose to do. See, there's a fine line for me. I'm going to bring up a very top, I know it's a controversial topic amongst people, but we're going to we're going to take this to exact scenario of bachelor parties and married men. Shouldn't should married men be attending bachelor parties? OK, but I don't agree with Bachelor or Bachelorette period. And I think that interesting maybe referenced this before. And the reason why is because it's off the back of a statement. Your last night single. Yeah, and you haven't been single for a long f**king time. So it's like if we're rolling with, I'm single for the night. What are actually your plans? Because where did the commitment go? That, to me, is just like whack and not cool. Now, when I say you don't believe in Bachelor or Bachelorette, that's not 100 percent true, but not 100 percent false, either. I don't agree with the traditional aspect of like Bachelor and Bachelorette, where it's like, you know, there's a place in Atlanta called sex slinging Richards or something. It's like, I wouldn't be taking my girlfriends to watching like dick slinger around in a helicopter in my face and then go sign up to get in a government contract with my about to be husband the next day. Like, to me, that's very weird. I also don't agree with someone like spread eagle ing their vagina and my man's face either. I'm cracking up trying to envision you going, Oh my God, that would never happen. Wow, OK. I will. I will. I'll be very open and honest. So someone I know will just go this direction. So I don't want offend people. And whenever someone I know had a friend group was the first one and one of them was the first person in their friend group to get married. OK, younger. Everybody else was single or whatever, you know. Cool, that's fine. As other people started to get married and that person was going, you know, went to a bachelor party, whatever. First of all, men are not good secret keepers. They think they are they. They live by the mentality of like what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but like, pertains to everywhere. No, you guys out yourselves to your girlfriends, your wives, the females in the group, the females all talk because, you know, girl girl like girl code and we all find out what's going on. And we've all seen The Hangover. We all find out what's going on. We know what happened, like all that stuff. So someone significant other found out that there was cheating that occurred at, said Bachelor party. There was a drug use that occurred up, said Bachelor Party. Just very poor decision making on everyone's behalf and kind of poison the idea of their significant other continuing to go to bachelor parties for anybody in the friend group after that where that stuff still occurred. But then this person was s**t on because, oh, you're whipped. And oh, like, you know, your old lady dictates what you're going to do and not do. And it's like, No, some guys are capable of just respecting unsaid boundaries and just respecting their girlfriends, wives, fiances. And like what? Not put themselves in a very bad situation. Well, men like that. It's because they actually have moral fiber says they're running through there being that it doesn't need to be a set boundary because they wouldn't do that anyway. Like, when significant others are hearing that all the guys collectively at a bachelor party paid for the groom to get his dicks up by a stripper? Probably not. Great. Yeah, no, that's not a thing. And for those reasons alone, yeah, I'm like, I'm completely out on this. What I will say is if you have a friend group and let's say like, you're having this wedding and he has his groomsmen, you have your bridesmaids and you guys all want to kind of like collectively join together and go get s**t faced and eat good meals. And maybe the guys go off and golf and the girls go to the spa or something like that. I can totally get behind something like that, and I think that's fine and respectable. I also am totally fine if guys want to take a guy's trip and go play golf and eat at the club, not the nightclub, but like the clubhouse, go to a nice, safe hotel. Airbnb, be one of the guy's houses, something like that. Like, totally fine with that. But at the point that someone is trying to bamboozle and strippers either get called to the house, to the hotel, or you end up in a strip club immediately, I'm calling the wedding off. Yeah, because not only did you think that you were bamboozling me, I will find out. And also, I don't want to be in a government contract with somebody like that, right? And like for me, it's very much like, let's not trash people who have different values and morals and ethics and all those things in us that might be a little bit of like a higher caliber. Even if we, you know, it's freedom isn't just like funny, like not even just like, I don't want to say freedom, but it's not like people aren't free to make their own decisions. But respect in a relationship should never go out the window, no matter what the circumstances are. Doesn't matter who's Bachelor or Bachelorette party, it is like it shouldn't matter, and nobody should get trashed for that. Like, you should align with friends that like, want to see you have a successful relationship? Not like me, you know, ride or dies in your downfall. You know what? I think that as you get older and maybe because I've been in a marriage and it was successful at one point and then failed, failed and fell apart, maybe my outlook on everything is completely different than what it would have been when I got married the first time. Just knowing what I know now and from to. Experience, I just think that I look at things totally different, I also think when you're younger, you want your friends to ride with you so hard and where it's appropriate to ride on certain things. I would rather have friends that would check me and the event that I was doing something that was a poor character and bad judgment. Oh yeah. And then just like. For the situation, I'm referencing the in the in the second hand embarrassment that I have every time I'm around someone significant other that I know was cheated on before their wedding. Oh, see? And everybody knows. So it's like the laughing stock behind their back kind of thing. See, that's just not fair. At that point, you have to send an anonymous letter from a post office far away from a meal. I couldn't do that. I couldn't put myself in a room. And then you have to ask yourself, OK, that's not my marriage. So it's not really my place to get involved in that. But at what point is it because when you know, stuff like that, OK, so I know a situation. This is about a marriage that these people have large Christmas parties like every year, multiple people that have hooked up with the husband before he was married to his wife. OK, come to these Christmas parties, but she has no idea. Oh, no. Of these relationships prior to her? No. And at the point that I found that out and I was having large Christmas parties and found out for years, my annual Christmas party was being bamboozled by my husband by inviting all of these girls that had been possibly vertical and horizontal in his bed. And I would feel a type of way. Yeah, I would be so disrespectful. I would be pissed at my husband and I would be pissed at everybody that knew and didn't tell me. Yeah, I'm like, Don't let me find out that you knew and you didn't tell me. Yeah, but that's some women aren't. I would say some women and men aren't like that. Like, I know a situation where someone, you know, someone's best friend told them, Hey, like I know for a fact, like, here's proof that you're being cheated on. And that friendship got cut off because it was like, You know, I think maybe someone I feel like your first instinct is denial. Typically, in those situations, you just don't want to believe that that's happening to you or in your relationship. So you get pissed. I would think, like, maybe, maybe get pissed at the person who's telling you, but like, not me. Like, I'm like, No, like, I would appreciate it. Oh no, I would definitely appreciate it. I'm not going to say that I wouldn't be pissed. To some degree, but at the same time would respect the fact that that person had enough respect for me to let me know something that she knew that I didn't know. Yeah, yeah. And now it's like with the other situation I was talking about, like, now it's weird because there's like kids involved in the scenario at this point and just like all this stuff. So it was just much easier for me to just be like, You know what? I know so much info, and I have so much second hand embarrassment that I'm just not going to associate with anyone at this point. Oh yeah. See, I would have to say I fell from that situation. Effective immediately. Oh, that's exactly exactly what happened. And of course, like inferences are made as to why, you know, like me, Corey, whatever don't come around. And it's like because we literally know too much. So we can't look you guys in the eyes anymore. That's why. Christine, guess what, I just opened in my car on the way home from the gym trying to multitask. Oh, you were absolutely using the acne treatment pads from RA five? Well, they're called clear away pads, but yes, they're my absolute favorite product ever. Like, if I had to have one product, the clear away pads all day, because it's just like a quick way to cleanse and clear your skin when you're on the go. So I can be leaving the gym, wiping my face off, talking to you and doing all of the things after a sweaty workout and are preventing breakouts. And I also use these at night after I shower. Any time that I've ever like had a long day of wearing makeup, it's just really helpful to feel like I'm protecting my skin from a breakout the next day. You know that I absolutely love the spot on treatment literally cannot pry that out of my hands. Also, this summer have been loving the SPF hydrating lotion. I have company coming into town, so I'm taking a page out of your book and I'm actually going to stock my guest bathroom with products from around five, so I'm just waiting on my guest bathroom package to arrive. I just it's so easy. It's easy because I feel like a lot of times with skincare we can get wrapped up in not knowing what we should get. And with RA five, it's five products and gel cleanser acne treatment pads, spot on treatment, nighttime moisturizer and SPF hydrating lotion. I feel good any time anybody asks me to, like, borrow something because the products are plant based, vegan and cruelty free, and it's a woman operated company. So like, I just feel very powerful when I suggest these products to people we absolutely love. RA five, we actually were able to grab you a discount code. You can use code Sothern seventy five at RA five dot com. That's our f f i v e dot com and use code Sothern seventy five to get you a nice discount. Globally, humans are facing massive problems that are widely ignored by governments and the media, like Personal Space Invaders had it with these couples that sit on the same side of the booth yet mouths stupid stick figure bumper stickers, almond milk. You cannot milk an almond. Hi, I'm Jennifer and I'm Angie. We call her pumps and we are the hosts of I've had it pumps. Tell the listener where they can find us Apple, Spotify, Amazon or wherever you get your podcasts. Nailed it ! See you next Tuesday. Speaking of weddings and marriage, I also saw this other video and it is so true, but also something that I should have done in my first marriage that I didn't do, which ended up costing me a lot of money. Oh, Marina, yeah, yeah. Hello. We want prenup. We want prenup. OK, so it was talking about getting ready for a wedding and how it isn't all fun and games, and I'm just going to single that statement, particularly like all all together, because I think getting ready for a wedding is literally the most trainwreck thing ever in all aspects like trying to coordinate a group of bridesmaids or groomsmen, finding a venue, picking flowers, what you want to eat when this is going to happen, like picking this perfect date, dealing with two different families, people who probably are being invited that don't like each other, who to invite, who not to invite limiting your guest list for family members, for who they can invite weddings to me or just like a total s**t show. And I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends the other night and I'm in a wedding coming up and there's like a lingerie party. And so I was having a personal conversation with Trent and asking him about like lingerie and whatever. And I think the collective senses. Our consensus is that since I say that sense, it's on the brain. I do have a sense it's on the brain. Consensus is that lingerie is just like a waste of time. Like, I would rather have a stock, the bar, like, I don't even wear panties anyway. So like, why am I potentially like having a lingerie party? Can I say something? Yeah. This s**t that you have told me about different things that happen, like where you live. I don't know what a laundry party is. I don't know what to stop the bar is. I know what a bridal shower is. And that's it. Okay, so I stock the bar normally is like a couples shower and everybody brings like what you would want your bar stocked with. So for me, my would be like champagne and stock me up on every White Claw. And truly, that is like possibly on the shelf. Mm hmm. Trance would be specifically Miller Lite, but I think stocked the bar parties are so fun. But the whole point in me saying this is like, you know, all of these parties, like all this organization of things that have to be done. And then that brought us to a conversation with my girlfriend about how going into a second marriage and the event that that was going to happen. I'm just completely talking hypothetically, right? Like, I wouldn't even be worried about the actual wedding part itself, like my vows are relevant to the person that I am marrying. Not everybody who's witnessing it. That would be such a minimal part of my day. I would be more concerned with the reception. Is that what they call it? Mm yeah. I would be more concerned with that. Having like a Taco Bell truck, like all the desserts. All the fun things. Great deejay, fun environment. All of those things would be like, very important to me. But one thing that like I I never want to have a conversation about but know that a conversation would have to be had about, well, is a prenup because I do not have wine going into my first marriage because I didn't have anything. So when you go into a marriage and neither of you are coming to the table with anything, I think it's something that you don't think about because it's like, OK, well, we kind of feel stupid. Sign this paper because basically what you're saying is you don't have s**t and I don't have s**t. So collectively, we don't have s**t and there's not s**t to get right. And like, probably at that time, you weren't like thinking ahead to be like, OK, but like down the road, we're going to have s**t. So let's put it in here in the event that we get it. Yes. And like my parents were very hard on me when they found out that I was not having a prenup signed, they met Will and I had a law office to discuss post nuptial. So that's an option. And a lot of people don't know about that option, but there is a post not that you can do. So I have a post or had a post up, but you know what? My post up said, we don't got s**t. My post op basically said. Neither of us have anything right now, but whatever is acquired within the marriage is to be split 50 50. Well, that's the law in the state of Georgia. So why do I even need one? Like, we literally paid for a post nuptial agreement that didn't even make sense. Well, one I would say. Definitely, definitely. Make sure that you're doing your post that it makes sense. But I have a couple of things to say about the wedding process also. I agree with you. Weddings are rough. I actually hated my wedding process so much that I canceled the first wedding that I planned for Gary and I. And then goodbye started over strictly due to family related stuff. And I also was going through the struggle, and I don't think this is talked about enough. I'm just going to lightly touch on it here because something I experienced and I know a lot of people lately are when you lose a parent and you're trying to plan a wedding, it's not going to be the most fun process. It doesn't matter because there's a huge gaping hole where someone is missing and it's going to intensify all feelings around that. So I was missing my dad and it really brought back a lot of crap for me. So on top of trying to personally deal with that when my husband could not relate because he had both of his parents. I was also dealing with my mom's feelings on my dad not being there and then was also getting a lot of s**t on other people's opinions and thinking they can make decisions for our wedding and stuff like that. So it was absolute hell to the point where I canceled the first one and then wanted to elope. I only did an actual wedding because Corey wanted it, and it just was not all it was cracked up to be. My favorite part of the day was saying my vows to Corey walking down the aisle to Corey and saying my vows to Corey favorite part of the day. The reception was fun. Could've done without it, in all honesty. But I will say, like, I think the part of the vows is super important. Yeah, I only care about the vows to who I'm saying them to. I don't care about like the environment of where people are witnessing that. My vows are vowing to the person that I'm marrying, so I don't really care who hears it. I don't care about like a whole production or, you know, my set hours privately for various reasons. Yeah. And I would be totally OK with doing like a private school exchange. Like, totally OK with that. I just don't want to ever be in a situation to where I have to feel like a big part of your life and commitment to another person feels like a stress like, I just do not have any desire to do that and about everyone else besides you too. That's what it sometimes comes down to, I think. But I saw the same video you're talking about as far as the prenup goes, and I feel like I don't know, I wouldn't say that it would be sad to sign a prenup. I didn't OK. We did not do one. But like we all know the divorce statistic. Right? So like, it is a very likely chance that you might end up divorced. And that's a document that's supposed to protect the both of you. And I think that trying to avoid, you know, we're just we're just not going to get divorced is, you know, these days is not enough if you want to protect yourself, is what I'll say about it. So this video went in to talking about prenups and how they're hard, and it feels like a mini divorce when you're going through that process because you have to get a lawyer. And then the lawyers argue so one person is going to have one lawyer arguing one side the other's going to have a lawyer arguing the other side. And that whole process happens within the wedding planning process. And that's the time that you're supposed to be so happy. Yet you're signing documents potentially about a future divorce and how it's just like a major wake up call that getting married is a legally binding contract, and the prenup process makes it feel like it's a real possibility that you might not last. And I wholeheartedly agree with everything that was said in this video, but I also feel like before you in this day and time before you start planning a wedding, all that prenuptial stuff should come before the wedding planning. I was going to say that don't mix the two literally like, get engaged. Go do your prenup. Then worry about picking your date. Wedding planning. Like just so you can, you know, make it happen as enjoyable as possible. Wedding planning? I don't know a single person that has ever told me that their wedding was stress free or like the planning of said wedding was stress free. So just like, have correct expectations going into the. But separate the kind of like sad part, like the emotional provoking part of, Oh wow, like I have to sit here and consider what would happen if we get divorced and we're not even married yet. Correct. Also to piggyback off of what you said about elopement. I know that it is popular belief that I eloped because that was a storyline in season one that Chrisley Knows Best decided to run with. And I feel like it was just like completely misplayed. I mean, you wouldn't. You didn't elope. I've never we've never talked about this. So define elopement because every person that would have my marriage would have been relevant to was aware what was going on prior to us leaving to go and exchange vows. Did you invite them or did they not? They just chose not to attend or you didn't invite anyone. So wow, OK. So sorry, we did. We did invite people and had planned to just do a destination wedding. OK? And then when I realized that my two biological parents absolutely hate each other and would have to be in Mexico at the same time, potentially someone ends up dead. I just was like, Listen, we have two grandparents that are sick. During this time. Will's grandmother was in the hospital. God rest. Her soul passed away. My granddaddy was in the hospital. God rest his soul. He passed away. The show pilot had just been filmed or was starting to be talked about. So it was a lot of like chaos. I got engaged on Father's Day in New York City. Will didn't ask my dad for his permission, did it on Father's Day? They didn't have a great relationship. Actually didn't even I can't even say they didn't have a great relationship. They didn't have one at all. Yeah. So to me, it felt very contrived to have this wedding and have people come to said wedding that might not support the marriage. So what I decided to do, I talked to Will and I was like, This is like, what's going on? I don't think it would be just fair for just your family to be there and like on invite my family. And I don't feel like it's a good idea to have everybody together who don't even like each other. That's just stressful for us. So what do you think about just going to get married at the courthouse because I don't really care about a wedding? Also, what do you think about just going to Mexico, exchanging vows, doing our honeymoon all in one swoosh and be done with it? So that's what we did. But ahead of that, I had conversations with every person that our marriage would have been relevant to or would have an opinion and about our marriage or would be an attendee at our wedding about the process of what we had made the choice to do. So in my opinion, we had a destination wedding, not an elopement, OK? Eloping to me is like not telling. Anyone is not telling anyone, you go off somewhere and you come back and you're in this government contract with some person that you might have worse like that to me, is on elopement. I would agree. I also distinctly remember my mom telling me she would actually pay me after I had canceled the first wedding. She literally told me she would pay me to elope at that point because she knew how miserable I was. Yeah, I mean, it's just like not a fun process, but for years and years, close to a decade, it's been said that, you know, we just like, ran off, got married. Did all of this behind people's backs, whatever it's like? In fact, none of that happened. The only thing that was done behind someone's back was the actual engagement. And you know, I'm still conflicted on that, too. If Will would have gone to my dad and said, Todd, can I take Lindsay's hand in marriage? And she gave him the big f you and told him to get out of his office and we'll still did it. To me, that's disrespectful. Like what? You have to decide what's more disrespectful if he's going to say no and you still do it because you're committed, that that's what you're doing. Or you just don't ask. It's like, don't ask permission. Ask for forgiveness later. Yeah, it was more like that method. I'm not not a great, not a great move on. We'll start to know that that was not a great move on Will's part. I'm sure if he had to do it over again probably wouldn't have made the same decision. Now that we know what came of, it definitely wouldn't have made the same decision going into a future relationship. Possible future marriage and the event at marriage was even I thought I would definitely tell whoever it is, be like. Listen, the first time it was like not well played Fathers Day off limits, like do not ask for my hand in marriage on Father's Day. Also, you need to ask for my dad to in a marriage, understand that I am thirty three years old. But like still, you need to ask. Yeah, I agree. What do you feel about asking for someone's hand in marriage at this age? Like, do you feel like age plays a part into it? Or do you feel like maybe this only happens in the South? No, it's like, I don't think so. Everyone that I know went the asking permission route. I know that again, anybody in the dead parent or dead parent or parents club can understand this one. I'm sure whether you were doing the proposing or getting proposed to you kind of have this question of like, Oh s**t, like if the dad's dead, who are you supposed to ask? So I know Corey went through that. So he asked my mom and obviously, you know, she gave him her permission and cried and all that stuff. And I know that I was like, I was 20. All this. I was twenty three the day I got married, so I was twenty two when we got engaged. I think it kind of all depends on like how everything is with people having family estrangement and stuff a lot these days. I think it really depends on the person you're with, like what is her or, you know, their relationship with their family. It doesn't seem like a dynamic. Maybe that's a question that you can ask. Like, you know, like, is this a thing? Because some people get offended, which is kind of crazy to me, but some people actually get offended when their significant other is asking their family's permission to propose. The person getting proposed to gets pissed off because they're like, I'm my own person and blah blah blah. And that's totally fine. But maybe that's a question that can be asked these like certain it should be asked these days like, hey, like if you were ever to get proposed to like, is that a respect thing or is it? I'm just trying to think. I think for some it is respect. For me, it was respect. But some, I think, too, if the daughter is leaving her family to cling to this man and they're going to become their own family, is there maybe like an approval process that needs to be had through that process and where maybe the daughter would at that point, like back in the day, financially be dependent like on her parents or something like that? And then there's going to be an exchange between the dad and the soon to be husband. Like, I don't know, like what we need to look into the history of because that's where this started. Like, maybe it was like the back in the day where they had the dowry thing. But what I'm wondering is, like 12 cows for my daughter, I don't know. So like, I think history plays a role. I think people's religions play a role, whether they feel like it's something that should be done or not be done. I think more modern day situations of people who are like, No, I am like my own person and responsible for me, and no one makes choices for me. That may be something that they're not OK with, like you going to get permission. I think it really depends on your relationship, your beliefs, the person. So that's why I'm like the easiest way. If it were me, I probably just ask like, literally when I first are dating, I probably ask honestly, because I'm just like, You never know. You never know. Actually, I need to ask Trent that, like what his thoughts are. I'll give you guys a follow up on that next week. Also just ending on this topic of marriage. If I ever even approach that ever again, there's a couple of things that would be requirements for me to even consider going through that process. One would be premarital counseling. It's something that I did not want to do going into my marriage with will. I'm sure part of that was like stubbornness and feeling like, OK, we know everything, and there's really no reason to do that and probably trying to avoid conflict and maybe not wanting to hear the other person. I think that might have been like an avoidance. I'm a very avoidant personality in that regard. So I think that's probably why I didn't make the decision to do that. I would want to do religious based marriage counseling ahead of ever being married again. That would need to start from time of engagement before ever exchanging vows to. I don't want to live together. I did live together with will before marriage. And while I think there's a lot of great benefits of living together and getting to know someone, I also feel like that is up. Hurt of being married. And my view on marriage, so I don't think that I would do that again the same. And also, I would want a period of celibacy, OK? I mean, we don't to dive into that. Why? I'm just curious where the where those decisions came from and how they were different than what you did the first time. We can do that next week, but I do want to just do the follow up on love languages because people had a lot to say about that conversation. They did, and it says unpopular opinion, but also hear me out. I strongly believe your love language is developed because of what you lack as a child. So your love language essentially is your mind's way of healing your childhood traumas. That being said, if that's truly the case, if your partner's job isn't your partner's job to heal you, it's not your partner's job to change how they naturally show love because of your own issues, they are working with your own love languages because of their own trauma. They are showing love in their own way to heal themselves. Do I support partners knowing love languages and making an effort to show that way? Yeah, sure. But it's also your job to adapt and to learn to receive love the way your partner gives it. Don't put it all on your partner. Your partner doesn't need to change their ways when you aren't willing to change your thoughts. Tell me I'm not alone. Totally saw the point. Like, totally solve this person's point. They have, you know, said this. I see the point, too. And while I think that this is very well thought out. I agree with some of it. The other side of it is maybe the way you don't want to receive love comes from your childhood traumas. So like, that's my thought. That's my feeling just on based off of what mine are and knowing myself and my childhood traumas like I say. And that way, like, I can't be bought as far as gifts like that to me, is not an acceptable apology or a way to show me that you love me because you can buy me something. So I'm going to kind of swing the way of your childhood. Traumas might be a dictator of why you don't want to be shown love in certain ways because you don't view that as love. Agreed. And I think the other way could potentially agree. So be true for some people. As far as the second part of it, we're like, we need to learn how to receive love in the way that our partner gives love. I don't agree. Tell me why. I don't agree because I think that that is very much based off of like how you I think you can change how you give. I think it's way, way, way more difficult, if not impossible, to change the way that you receive love. I feel like that is built through the crap that we've gone through. Like we just talked about. So there is no way that getting receiving gifts is ever going to make me feel loved. It doesn't matter how much work I do on it. Do I like to get gifts? Sometimes is like, Hey, I'm thinking of you or I saw this, and I know it's something that was on your wish list, and so I just wanted to grab it for you. Yes, I think that's a kind gesture, but at the same time, I'm going to get way more out of quality time spent and physical touch than ever getting a gift. And so I just, I don't know, I'm in full agreement with what you just said. I also am agreement with this person that we have to be adaptable in situations and that everyone's not going to be able to do things the way that you want them and you're not going to be able to give the way that they want them, but you have to be able to communicate. I think that that is the bottom line here. Being able to communicate these things to your partner so they can reach a level of understanding. And this person is right. It is your job to heal your own childhood traumas and it's their job to heal theirs. Correct. Like, I think the biggest lesson that I can say within this is just like making sure you're effectively communicating your needs. Mm hmm. And not assuming that the other person is a mind reader. Mm hmm. Because there are times like my top love language is physical touch. There are times where I'm overstimulated and stressed out and I'm like, I need you to not touch me right now. Mm hmm. Agreed. So but that's been communicated because it wouldn't be fair for something that, like my husband is used to doing to. You know, that's how I receive love like he's used to doing that, and then with the flip of a switch, I'm like, Don't touch me. He was signing up to be a mind reader, like, that's not what we're signing up for. So I do think that the communication aspect is super important. And I do think that I have learned with myself that as much as I like quality time with physical touch, I also require an amount of time by myself. And I think just as overstimulated people in this society as a whole, I think we're all overstimulated, all the things that are thrown at us every single day. There's no way that any person that's even listening to this could possibly say that they don't feel overstimulated at some point in the day. Yeah, I mean, I would agree with that because there's a lot. I mean, there's a lot of stimulation going on everywhere. And I think the best thing that I can say is like, Listen, it takes two seconds to say what you need, but that's really hard that two seconds feels like a lifetime to some people who don't have proper communication. And I know that that's how I feel. Sometimes sometimes I feel so overstimulated that I just want to be by myself and literally ghost everyone. And I have identified that within myself because of arguments that I have cause or conflict that I have caused by trying to avoid the conflict, if that makes sense or trying to avoid addressing something. Absolutely. But I will say, like, I know for a fact that you learn to say, Listen, I feel overstimulated right now and I'm turning my phone off until next time. Mm-Hmm. And I've gotten good at that. Yeah, but I feel like that is taking the two seconds. I think first of all, you need to be able to identify what it is that you need because there's a lot of times that I am expecting Corey to fix something for me. And I'm like, first of all, it's not his to fix when I like actually do a little reality, check on myself, not his to fix. And I don't even know what I need to fix this problem or fix the way I'm feeling. So how the hell would he? Oh, I think we've all been there. And on that note, I've got two things that I found that I want to read for weekly devotional. The first one is if God is asking you to do something, it's for a good reason. Don't get too caught up in focusing on how everything is going to play out. Just show up. Do your part. That's all he's asking for. He will handle the rest. I mainly wanted to read that for myself because I continue reading it since I saw it and truly need accountability to practice that. And then the other one that I saw, I'm like, You know, I also need accountability in this. And it's talking about rushing is a stop rushing God. Here's every one of your prayers. He knows the timeline of your life. If you're struggling to trust God in a waiting season, know that he will be faithful to you. He will not break. He will not break his promises to you. Keep trusting him to open the right doors at the right time with the right people for your life. He knows what is best. And on that note? Weekly. All right. So in got put in a time out and then their time with my children was severely restricted after my brother in law's support creature. Not the most polite word that fits this woman. Oh God. My youngest child's face and my mother in law said. But she's family. Absolutely not. She got handled all the not suitable for Reddit words, describing this woman and told she would no longer be allowed to see my children in her house except for holidays. While that b***h lived there, along with all the other garbage that they were allowing the druggie brother in law to move into the house. There's been a lot less drama since he passed away. Thankfully, he didn't take anyone else with him. The druggie brother in law had already attempted to kidnap my oldest son once at that point, and we will, and we were talked out of filing charges against him. He later had to be physically be in with a big flashlight, and a two by four kid was 16 at the second attempt at kidnapping to make him let go of my kid. His reasoning was It's not fair that we got married first and had not only the first grandson, but the first granddaughter to OK, well, I understand family drama this is on. It's a whole other level like this is literally such an extreme. I first want to say that I do not believe in restricting time with grandparents. That is something that happened to me as a child and was always a play against my grandparents when things weren't going someone's way. OK. And so with Jackson and through the divorce process with Will, I always wanted to make sure that there was always open lines of communication for Jackson to be able to communicate with Will's parents because that's. He always knew. And time to be able to be spent with them for that relationship, to not have much change, right? So I do not believe in putting grandparents in a time out with their grandchildren where it would be appropriate for a time out would be if this brother in law was living with them and that brother in law was possibly creating some type of unsafe environment for the parents children to be with the grandparents. And I think that that has to be an open conversation that you feel comfortable having with your child's grandparents to say, you know, this is an issue that we have and can we work together to find a solution to this problem? I would. I would agree. I don't agree. And any type of physical violence that will never happen in my home. That's just weird. The two by four really got me, so the two by four and the flashlight. I just don't feel comfortable with that. No matter if kidnapping is going on or whatever. I don't believe in fighting violence with violence. So I'm just that's all I'm going to say on that. A lot less drama since he passed away. Well, obviously because he was the root of a lot of problems, right? So like when he's gone, there's a finality to that. I can also very much relate to feeling like you have been in a bamboozled situation when you feel like you've done things the right way and someone kind of flew by the seat of their pants and life and had one night stands, got someone pregnant and had a child ahead of your child, which was supposed to be the first grandchild. When you feel like you've done things, textbook like Left High School, went to college, got your degree, got married, built a house, had a baby. I think that, like anger and resentment definitely happens when stuff like that took place. Well, I would. I would also agree. So that's all I really have to say about that. If you guys have not followed us on at this other tea podcast, make sure you follow us there on Instagram. 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