Transcript
This episode of grief therapy is brought to you by Gravity Defier. Use Vine for $20 off orders of a $100 or more at gdefy.com. Way, go to theouaidot com for 15% off-site wide and enter promo code vine. Progressive quote at progressive.com to join the over 28,000,000 drivers who trust progressive. And Wayfair, head to wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals. That's wayfairdot com. I'm Kaitlyn Bristowe. Your session is now starting. Welcome to the Hey, everybody. Welcome to Auth the Vine. I'm your host, Kaitlyn Bristowe. And today, we have Kat Timf on the podcast who I think people just make assumptions because she's on Fox News, but she is here to kind of explain how we all need to see each other as human beings again. The fact that she's a comedian is really nice because she gets to kind of intertwine her humor into politics. I usually don't do politics on this podcast, but I like her interesting take, and I like her as a person. So please enjoy this conversation. Okay. Let's just call it what it is. You're having a bad day. I'm having a bad I just limped up to your front door. I'm very late. I'm very late. I'm very sorry. I'm, like, I'm, like, unacceptably late. Like, there's late. There's, like, she's kind of an a*****e late, and then there's, like, is she really coming? What the is going on late? And that was the the one that I was, and I really want to apologize. It's okay. Today, I I came here from New York. Yeah. I flew I went all the way to LaGuardia, and I'm going through check-in. They're like, you need to be at JFK. Oh. And so I ran through the airport, and I'm pregnant. And I'm not supposed to be running because I have, like I'll get, like, pelvic floor pain. Oh, jeez. And I like yeah. I it's bad. I, like, pulled but my, like, pelvic area and my hip like, I think I, like, pulled some I'm limping around. And then, oh, I I get to the cat the car, and I'm, like, having a meltdown. You know, I don't like handle stress while I'm, like, crying. You know? I'm crying. I'm probably ventilating. Airports do it to you too. Dude, and this is, like, the 3rd time I've gone to the wrong one. I'm not good at it. Oh, lord. Then the guy I'm, like, crying. I'm calling my husband. He's not answering because, like, he should it's, like, an ungodly time to even be awake. Right. But then the driver turns around. He's like, how's Carl? Who's my dog that he trained? And it's like Stop. You never want people who know you in real life to see you like that. I was like, he's good. And then I had to get out and run at the other airport, and then, obviously, I got here. And I said that I I up. I said, well, it's only up from here. Yeah. I knew better than that. Well, wait. I'm confused. Your Uber driver was also your dog trainer? He was my dog trainer. I guess he also does that. Well, that's crazy. Yeah. It was crazy. Oh, Carl. What kind of dog do you have? I have a French bulldog. Oh, I just pictured a French bulldog when I heard Carl. Yeah. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah. I love dogs so much. So Well, I'm glad you made it. I made it. It was horrible. Like, there's an act. The traffic was absolutely insane. Oh, the traffic around this like, 3 o'clock, I would say, is when it gets gnarly. Yeah. Yeah. Nashville's not great for that. Well, you're here. I'm here. We're doing it. I limped my way up. Your decorations look great. Oh, they're not mine. I'm that that I don't own this house. Oh, well, whoever did. Whoever did. I know. They're fun. Right? I live, like, 10 minutes from here, but I'm already ready for Christmas. I'm one of those. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, I have a couple pumpkins around, but I'm, like, get to November. I want it to be Christmas time. See, my husband likes Christmas more than me. Mhmm. I okay. I like I I don't I'm not coming out as anti Christmas. Like, I I like Christmas. I like to spend time with my family. Yeah. But he's all, like, the Hallmark movies, like, everything. He's into into that. How did you meet him? We met on Raya. How cute. Isn't that weird? What is is he like a somebody? No. He's a finance guy. Oh. But yeah. He So what is Raya? Is Raya like you gotta get in to know is it like a Soho House of dating? Like, to keep I met a lot of douchebags on Raya too. I met a lot of people who are not my husband on Raya, for sure. And but your husband's a sweet AD guy. He's a sweet guy. Yeah. Any any man who likes Hallmark Christmas movies makes me happy. But he also went to war, which is crazy. s**t. Yeah. So it's like you don't expect Well, thank him for his service. Yes. Thank you, babe. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, babe. If you're watching this, thank you. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah. And now so then he came out of that and did went got into finance? Yeah. Exactly. Oh, wow. And you, tell me how your career started. Like so I got into Columbia Journalism School. Okay. And I was all psyched to go, but then I realized I didn't have money to go. So I was like, I can't go. Yeah. You need that. And I was living with my college boyfriend at the time in Los Angeles, and the plan was and I was 21. So it's like a 21 year old plan. Yeah. I was gonna live with him till my internship was over. They were gonna break up, and I was gonna go to Columbia. Yeah. And when I decided I wasn't going to Columbia, I like, nonconsensually moved in with him. Yeah. But I, like, I was, like, I'm not going to Colombia. And then I was, like, okay. And I just didn't go anywhere. I live there Fair. Which, like, didn't, like, solve all the problems the relationship had. So That's a shocker. I kept I kept, I kept just living there, but then we broke up. Right? Because it whatever. But I so then I kept living in LA. Like, I moved to this horrible apartment, this horrible neighborhood, kept interning, kept working in restaurants, started doing stand up comedy Yeah. Because I really found that talking about this stuff on stage was super helpful to me. Of course. Was really kind of a disaster, though. Like, I didn't have any money, then I lost my apartment, and I had to move in with this bartender I was kinda seeing from the California pit pizza kitchen where I worked. Oh, CBK. But we weren't, like, together together. Yeah. But, like, I needed to live there. Whatever. That was a disaster. Been in a similar situation. Yes? It happens. Happens. It happens. Yep. He was hot and dumb. Great. Yeah. And you were how old? I was 21. So I was like, this is great. Yeah. Let's go. That's nobody dates an ugly and smart man, and when you're 21, it's hot and dumb. Yeah. You're not even considering that. No. No. No. You want hot and dumb. Then I moved to DC. I got a job in DC writing, and then I was kept doing comedy. And then I started getting on TV on Fox for pieces, like stuff I wrote. Yeah. And then there was a show called Red Eye that aired at 3 in the morning that I was on I I actually always really liked the show. It was a weird show. I was a fan of the show, and the host of it had me on when he saw me on talking about something else. We just hit it off. Yeah. And then the rest is kind of history where So that because that you kinda just casually dropped that you went from comedy to Fox. That's Yeah. I'm like, make it make sense. So I was yeah. So I was also a writer too. Okay. And the show, like, the show that I'm on is a is a comedy show, but I also do analysis. But the Fox thing is interesting for me because I'm not I'm not a republic I'm not conservative. Yeah. But I'm also I'm not liberal either. I'm just independent, I guess. Yeah. So it is kind of this weird position where it's like people sometimes who watch Fox aren't the biggest fan of me or, you know, people do like me that watch Vox, but there are people who sometimes are like, you know, you're a deplorable gross human being because of x y z. You know? Yeah. Of course. But then people will say the same thing about me from the other side when they find out that I work there in the first place. So that's what my book my book's about. Yeah. I was gonna say which leads me into your book because okay. So it's called I Used to Like You Until. You're Naked on It with hate mail covering you, which I assume because you are in the world of politics, but you're also a comedian, which is a very interesting mix. But what is because you say how binary thinking divides us. Yeah. What does that mean? It's like the two sides, I feel. Yeah. Like, it's like, okay. You're either Republican. You're either Democrat. You're either this. You're either that. And I I I feel like there's so many issues are more complex, and people are always nuanced and complex. Right. And I have lived a lot of life already, and I know so many different people with so many different beliefs. And they're all valuable relationships to one way and to me in one way or another. And so I wanted to kind of write about kind of write about that, and I share a lot of deeply personal stories in the books. I think being vulnerable is a huge way out of the mess for people because Yes. We don't really see each other as human anymore, and that's a huge part of it. When did that change? I don't know. I think that social media has a lot to do with it, but I just expose myself a lot, like, in in the book. So I love that you I love vulnerability. I like when people can expose themselves. I've always considered myself an open book. And Yeah. In the last, I would say, year, I've been so, like, hanging on to other things and more of a closed book. Yeah. I'm, like, scared to share because it feels like well, I even wrote it down, like, being open and vulnerable when people are just gonna hate you no matter what. Like, what inspires you to keep being vulnerable? Because I need the advice Yeah. When people are just gonna, like, still have that. By the way. Like, I have been Yeah. I have been bullied for the exact things that I have put out there about myself. Right. I think, honestly but I think it's worth it when people do connect with me on certain things. I mean, I I've opened up in the book about being in a horrific relationship that was not just mentally and emotionally abusive, but physically abusive as well. People have come up to me talking about that. Yeah. And I also really just think that if you want people to see you as human and we should need to see each other as human, you gotta be willing to show that you are a human. Yeah. And I always am kind of like you know, if I have to think, okay. If I put this out there, people might be mean to me about it. But if I don't, then I'll wonder would I've made my point better if I did? That's why social media is so tricky because we don't see each other as humans because we are illusions just showing what we wanna show. So if more people would show up vulnerable on social media and talk about real things Yeah. We might see each other as more human. But it's it is crazy how how much people align themselves. Like, if they've already the work is done for them. So they go, oh, I'm on this team, and then they don't do their own research at all. And I'm on this team, and then everyone does this instead of having their own thoughts. Or even an association. I mean so, I mean, in this book, I talked about having dated women, which I've never talked about publicly before this book. And it's one of the things that everyone in my life knew about because, like, I well, because I did. So it's like, what are you doing this weekend? You know what I mean? And I was nervous about it just because I'd never talked about it before. I didn't want people to make a big deal about it. Yeah. And Variety did a piece about my book and about me where that was the first time that this was gonna be out there. I was so nervous, and I was so relieved that nobody made a big deal about it. But instead, all the not all of them, but a lot of readers of the magazine were horrified that they had done something on somebody who works at Fox without even clicking on it Yep. Seeing anything about me. So I think another thing that helps, and this is kind of a sick twisted thing, you're never gonna get s**t for what you expect you're gonna get s**t for. Oh god. I don't I know it? All the stuff that I've worried about getting s**t for never happened, but it's some other thing. Yeah. It'll always be something, especially, I mean, I'm sure people just like you've said, Fox, then they associate you with one lane and one lane only, and they put you in a box now, and you weren't allowed to have any other thoughts or opinions because you are on Fox. Exactly. How do you defend that? It's crazy, and it's just my experience. It's like, okay. Let's hang out for 5 minutes. Yeah. Right. And then you'll realize it's different than what you think. And, also, I have friends at Fox who are conservative, who aren't these things that people say. And there are, of course, there are a*****es who are conservative. There's there's a*****es who are of all different political persuasions. Right? Mhmm. And I feel like the, you know, the the powerful people that that they have a lot, including media, even though I work in the media, has a lot to gain from division. Yeah. Right? And I see how much we kind of lose with that. Yeah. And, I mean, I don't know. So I've just decided to be open about it, but people get and you never know people are gonna piss about. I want to pull up something. You said something, and I thought I'd remember it, but I'm I haven't. Now I need to just pull it up on your Instagram because I loved what you said. Oh, gosh. I see. I say a lot. Well, first of all, your piece on chicken nuggets without the sauce really, really resonated with me. I snapped the other night when my Chick Fil A order came, and I my sauces weren't there. And then did they try to refund you, like, a couple cents for the missing sauces? Yes. You've ruined my entire dinner. Yes. Because I was like you said, nobody likes dried chicken. Nuggets. Nobody. Mm-mm. No. You've ruined my dinner. Like, give me all my money back or have sent somebody back with the sauces. Because if I'm gonna eat this, I'm I'm gonna regret eating this. I'm not gonna want eating this. But you know what I did? I I bought gallons of the sauces now. Yeah. So I'm prepared. I've left and gone to the store to get ranch before. I believe you. I I refuse. I will not eat. I actually won't eat anything without sauce. No. I agree. Like, I don't care if it's dippable or not. I'm eating it with a sauce. Okay. This is what you said. So obvious. I can't believe they conducted it, but it's true that moral outrage is more often rooted in self interest than altruism. So studies actually found the if people felt powerless over a problem, the more motivated they were to direct that outrage at a third party target, and then the better they felt when they did. And it makes a lot of sense. To explain why that makes a lot of sense, but I was listening to that, and I'm like, oh, damn. That's so true. Even I do it. Yeah. I wrote about it in the book where it's like, you think of all these people who go, okay. This is problems because of you. Because of you, you realize it is really a lot of the times people are projecting All the time. And it's it's such a thing. Yeah. And think about it. If the other side or if this person or that, you know, group is is bad, then you get to be good just because you're not on that team. And that's a really hard thing to give up. Yeah. And I call myself out for times I've done stuff like this throughout my book as well because it's human to do this kind of stuff, sadly. Yeah. I know. What what do you think, like, people will gain the most from reading your book? So I've had so many people say that they've had their minds opened to different things because Which is probably the point. Which is the point where I've had people say, oh, you know, I used to be somebody who was, like, I'm conservative, and all liberals are bad and crazy. Yeah. And now I don't think of it that way or in the reverse. Right. And people can sometimes find it's an uncomfortable book to read because it does make you think about that stuff. Yeah. And I and I and I begin the book by calling myself out for it too. So it's not like I'm, oh, I'm so much wiser and better than everybody else. It's kind of just like, oh, I've noticed that I keep doing this and what I lose when I do this and how much better it is if we don't do this. But Yeah. It's since it's I'm independent, you either side, if you're conservative, you're liberal, regardless, you'll read the book and you'll find stuff you disagree with, for sure. But you'll also find some stuff you agree with. And, also, again, I really do expose myself enough and talk about I share enough about myself that I think it makes it, yeah, a little easier to to kind of digest, first of all, because a lot of the stories are wild and fun and it's interesting to read Mhmm. But also because you can find something to relate to because we've all been through stuff. It's it kinda reminds me of therapy. Yeah. Like, people don't want to dig into their past because that would be so hard, and it would bring up a lot of shadows and darkness and shame. Yeah. So they just don't go there, and then they don't grow as a human being. And they stay stuck, and they're angry and all this stuff. It's kinda like people don't want to look at all the sides of politics and go into that because then they might be wrong about something or they might question their whole belief system, and they don't want to. It's easier to just pick a side for a lot of people Yeah. Have other people do all the work for them with the research and be like, yeah. That. Yes. Exactly. And there's also research in my book that shows that we are really off in our estimations of each other, and both parties do this, where there is a huge gap between people who actually hold these so called extreme beliefs and then the ones that actually do. And people, they'll totally overestimate that. So they're they they're thinking, oh, I hate let's say, I hate Republicans or I hate Democrats because they believe x y z, and a lot of times, most of them don't actually even believe that. Right. What is the craziest hate mail you've ever gotten? It's hard to say. I mean, I've gotten a lot I mean okay. I've gotten you know what's is crazy is I've gotten a lot of hate mail from women since I got pregnant about how I'm talking about it wrong, you know, talking about it too much, dressing wrong during it. I thought and I get I mean, the men are all like, your tits are big now. So it's like it's not like it's not like it's not like which they are, which I've never I've never had boobs in my life, and now I do. That's, like, the one exciting well, the baby's exciting, but also the boobs are exciting. Yeah. I haven't met the baby yet. So I don't I don't even know. Yes. But, it that's been kind of wild. It's like, I was like, oh, I'm gonna be so connected to all these other women. Yeah. Who've come through pregnancy, and that has not been my experience. I hate it. So mean. Yes. I went over at Barstool. I did out and about. Yeah. And I had my I I love them. I love them, Joyce. Yeah. So and I had my belly out for the interview, and, boy, you think I pillaged a village and burned it to the ground. Stop. So I mean, someone were like, you put that away. Like On their podcast, you think you would But it was people that probably watch Fox and then saw, like, you know, my belt. Like, you know, or if I say, like, or s**t Yeah. Be like, that's not how a mother should talk. Oh. Or I'm talking about it too much or it's like and also yeah. I'm I feel like, is this is that your whole personality? No. I'm like, for the yep. Yes. It is. As of right now, yeah. For the next several months, it is. The thing that affects every decision that I make is Yeah. Is also gonna be affecting my personality. No s**t. I pulled my I'm gonna probably be sitting in my hotel room with ice on my pelvis having done nothing fun today. You know, like, what And you're probably gonna talk about it. I ran through an yes. Exactly. I'm gonna talk about it. Yeah. But I've gotten insane. I mean, I've had to put people in, like, jail and stuff because of, like, actual threats to my life. s**t. So Oh, Oh, s**t. But those were all men. Those were all men. My gosh. The violence was all men. That's actually so scary. Like, I did a I did a reel the other day. I haven't posted it, but it was me and my girlfriend walking and, saying, like, night walks are so fun. It's just a shame that, like, men murder at this hour. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Night walks would be so fun to go night walks with your girlfriend, but, like, it's too bad that men murder. It really is. But that should be the name of Dateline. Yeah. But it's just so I I'm just so, inspired by you to keep going and keep doing what you're doing when people are just hate mail, that kind of level of hate mail. I don't know what is going on with me, but I've recently just been wanting to shut down instead of share more. I hear you. I kind of do like, I cry a lot. Yeah. I do cry, like, a lot. Yeah. And not just today. Like, today was a lot. Today was a heavy day, but on an average day, I usually cry or you know? But I I it sometimes I can feel that way too, though. Yeah. I think I just do it anyway. Because I can be like, why am I doing this? Why am I doing because everybody hates me. Right. It's both sides. Why am I doing this? Because what I don't what also drives me nuts too is is I know I can make more money, and I could be more successful with the platform that I have just going on and just into being like, I agree. When I sit down, I know what the viewers watching me. The majority of them want to hear me say. Right. And I also know that if I say that, then more people are gonna come to my shows. They'll sell out. All of them will sell out. I sell out a decent amount of shows. I do well, but it'd be all of them. The venues would be bigger. But I just can't do it. I just can't I can't I just feels yeah. I just it's not right, and I don't wanna that. So but it's not like I am getting tons of props from people on the other side either because I do that. Right. I guess it's just it is worth it for the people who say, okay. Oh, you've changed my mind about this. Yeah. Oh, this or that. And Well, that's your purpose. Why did I go into this? I didn't go into this, like, just to be on TV. It stops getting your hair and makeup done every day. You know what I mean? I mean, people don't it's really bad for your eyes. Yeah. It's bad for everything. I really I real I had to film something for 5 weeks, and I was like, the but It is beautiful, but it's not mine. Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about what's on your feet and not the cute, the killer heels. I mean, g Defy shoes, the ones that your feet have been absolutely begging for. I got a pair recently, and let me just say, my feet have finally been set free. And here's why I'm obsessed. G Defy shoes come with 2 free orthotics and built in lateral stabilizers that help realign your body as you move. 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Like, I I consider strong in your mental health being able to cry and, like, move through emotions that way. Like, I mean, I'm on antidepressants. I'm on antianxiety. I am totally an emotional human, but I still think I'm mentally strong. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm also on Medicaid for the first time of my life Nice. Because I have ADHD, and I've been off of my vibe. I was on stimmus since I was 5. Yeah. So it's been really hard. Yeah. But, also, I'm, like, really way better on stage now. So I'm like, oh. There you go. What do I do? Like, the impulse control problem is an issue at home, but, like, it makes me really funny on stage. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I think this comedy helps. Laughing helps. Telling jokes helps. You can always tell to me, telling a joke about something that may is making you feel powerless gives you power over it. Yeah. I agree. That's what I love. Definitely, working out's always helped me. Can't do that now because my pelvis is just like pelvis. It's so it's so crazy. Yeah. Pregnancy is, like, really bad for your body. How far along are you? And congratulations, I do. Yeah. I'm I'm almost 6 months. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna go to the first person that's not said weeks. Yeah. It's, like, 24 weeks, I guess. Wow. Yes. I also I also heard you're not supposed to say congratulations until the baby's born, so I'm happy for you. That's why I don't I don't know. Because no one's but yeah. But we don't, yeah, we don't know the baby. Like, it could this baby could be a horrible baby. This baby could this baby a robot. You never know. This baby could just grow up and be, like, a terrible hang. You know? A terrible hang. Worry about that. Well, I was fascinated by your opinion piece on Fox. I read that, and I'm always fascinated by mother daughter relationships. And I'm sorry that you lost your mom 10 years ago, which it will be 10 years On election day. On election day. Yeah. That's what were you into politics 10 years ago when you got it? Wow. Yeah. Okay. I just started getting, like, guest appearances on Fox at the time. And were you close with your mom? So I write a lot about this in my book in the last chapter, which is also this is the hardest to write, the one I was the most nervous about coming out, and the one I've been attacked for the most, actually, in in a lot of ways because, we were really close. We were we had a lot in common. Our personalities were exactly the same. She was really outspoken. She was really kind of crass, were a lot vulgar, but she was very Catholic. Mhmm. And I'm not religious. Yep. And that was a huge wedge between us because and I get where she's coming from because it's like, if your daughter's going to hell, you're not gonna be chill about that. No. No. Yeah. So I get why she couldn't move past that. But that really I just wanted her to be able to see, like, hey. I'm not religious, not because I don't wanna be. Right. I would love to be, actually. Yeah. I would love to think that she was watching over me Yeah. That that I was gonna go to a paradise after I die, and I still hope to actually get there. I still hope to become at least more spiritual at some point, because I'm just totally agnostic. I'm not an atheist. I'm kinda just, like, I don't know. How should I know? I'm an idiot. You know what I mean? Like, I I went to the wrong airport today, and I, like, you know, that I, like, showed up ridiculously late living up to the stairs. Afterlife is. Yeah. Like, don't talk to me. I can't even tell you what airport to go to. You know? I I know the the mysteries the answers to the mysteries of the universe. But yeah. So it's but it's been really especially hard since I got pregnant Yeah. Because I wanna be able to ask her these questions Right. Right. And I can't. Yeah. You know? I'm sorry. And do you know what you're having? I don't know. You don't? Okay. Yeah. I don't I wanna I wanna be surprised. And are you scared to bring a child into the world? I'm terrified. Yeah. Yeah. Because I I think I was reading that you were maybe on the fence about having kids, or you wanted it to be IVF. Or what was that? So I was totally on the I I wanna tell my dad it was IVF because I wanted my dad to know that I had sex. Oh, the my dad knows for sure because I went on The Bachelorette and had sex with 3 people. He was like, cool, Kaitlyn. I always think about that. Whenever I, like, you know, whenever I've seen reality shows, I'm like, oh, man. Yeah. My poor dad. That's what I think. My dad but I share a lot too. Yeah. Like, had an ostomy for a while, but it's like What's that? It's an ileostomy. It's a it's a s**tbag. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can see my scar right here, but it's it's, like, back in now. Yeah. Oh. And I have, like, jokes on stage about how, like, I had sex with it. And then my dad is, like, sitting there in the in the we're right there next to my husband. So it's, like, my my poor my poor dad too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I I was really scared of having kids. I'm still really scared of having kids. I've I don't if somebody handed me a baby right now, I wouldn't know how to hold it. Oh, really? And I'm growing a baby, like, at a rapid pace. You're gonna surprise yourself. I feel like I feel like all women have motherly instincts. You just don't know it until it happens. Like, you might not you know, it might be in, in other ways where you're like, oh, like, this feels comfortable to me. I just think all women have it in them. You just might not know it yet. There's just so many things that can go wrong. Like, babies Yeah. Really easy to kill on accident. Like, you know? It I get so scared of even, like, dogs. It's the innocence of somebody that they don't. It it is fully a 100% your responsibility for everything about them. And no matter what you do, everyone's gonna say it's wrong. Everyone's gonna everyone's gonna say it's wrong. I know. I mean, I had I I would yell that for eating cookies. I'll look people on the Internet. They're like, oh, she did. Like, okay, Brenda. Look at that. I got yelled at for putting my dog in pajamas. Yeah. And it was the cutest thing ever. Yeah. That's that's insane. Yeah. That's insane. You know, there's people dying Yeah. Like, out there. There's people dying. And we're worried about a golden retriever from Canada. Yeah. Exactly. Mhmm. There's violence out there and illness, and people are like, you know, your belly's out. They're like, there's a baby in there. But, yeah, it's scary Yeah. Because it's like and every kid is always like, yeah. Well, my my my trauma and, like I know. What am I gonna do wrong? Because I know it's gonna be something. Yeah. Yeah. Be something. That's the scariest part too. I think we're all, as a society, realizing how much trauma is passed on from, like, not even just our parents, but, like Generational? Yeah. But I did, like, a full moon ceremony last night, and she was talking about lineage. Oh, okay. Like, just, like, mega history from your past and ancestors of what's being passed down to you. And now we're obviously gonna pass things on, but we are also aware now of trauma. And so it's like we're overdoing it the other way where we're saying to the kids now, we're like, oh, we don't yell at kids anymore. We do gentle parenting. And it's like, now we're going it's like, how do you But I'm just I'm I'm I almost do. Especially being on the Internet. You know? You you are going to get a lot of opinions coming your way, but you already do. I already do. But, yeah, but it's also just, like, your own identity as a woman and all that other stuff. Yeah. Like and you're dude, it's just, like, rough on your body. Alright. And, again, I'm not even, like, I'm not even to whale status yet. Like and I'm gonna be I'm gonna be getting there. I was always so skinny and just, like, chewing nicotine gum all day. I'm like you know? And then See, I'm like, it's my dream to just, like, have a big old pregnant belly. I love it. Yeah? I've oh, I think pregnant women are, like, the most beautiful things on planet Earth. Oh, it doesn't feel that way. And I I know all women don't feel that way, but every time I see a pregnant girl, I'm just like, that is so beautiful. Yeah. It's beautiful to me. So when you saw me hobbling up the stairs I was like with my Yeah. I thought it I thought it I was like, what a queen. An absolute queen. But I do feel like even, you know, being a comedian, I do feel like not me being a Yeah. You being a comedian. Look, it has some good deflecting tactics Yeah. And the ability to, like but that I feel like that could also help. Like you said, it also brings joy and laughter into, like, maybe some serious conversations. Does that help you with, like, Fox, being on Fox News? Yeah. It absolutely does. Yeah. And and because the show that I'm on is a a comedy show. And a lot of times, it it I I love to make jokes, and it it helps me to make jokes. Realize it's a comedy show? Because I think people just say, see, you're on Fox and make assumptions. Yeah. People just say I'm on Fox, and they just make assumptions, almost all the time. My first chapter in my book is called I Work in Pornography because I have straight up I've been at parties and people are like, what do you do, Filming? I'm like, oh, I'm like OnlyFans, girl. Like, I do porn. Because then people are like, that's cool. Like, you know what I mean? And then because if I say Fox, then it's like, oh, well, what and then it's just it's not a conversation anymore. And, I mean, at a party where, like, you know, sometimes you're at a party and you're talking to someone, you'll never see them again. Yeah. And you're still got, like, 7 minutes with them for whatever reason, and I'll just handle it that way. Yeah. Or I'll say, no. Thank you. Yeah. No. Thank you. Yeah. I like that. Mhmm. Like, on an airplane, that's probably your biggest, like, fear. So I'm really like, what do you do? You're like, oh, you got television. They're like, what show? I'm like, what is it? And it's like and it's also just like you know, a lot of people if you don't you don't watch it, you wouldn't know. Right. It's like you just and and my my the host of the show is a conservative guy. Yeah. And, you know but he he's also my friend. Like, it's fine. Right. Yeah. Listen. It's I loved when you were like you asked Donald Trump if their aliens are real. Yeah. And he said his pilot friends have seen some s**t. Yeah. Basically. And he's like and these are, like, you know, the smart guys or whatever. They're That was crazy for me. Yeah. The the the I was like, what am I gonna what am I gonna do? Am I gonna ask? You're like, what do I ask? Aliens. I kinda well, because I thought if there was ever a president that would just come out and say something It would be him. It would be him. Yeah. Absolutely. That's and so do you believe there's aliens? I I think so. I I wanna again, I wanna believe in all this stuff. I know. Same. I I I wanna believe in ghosts. I wanna believe in I I I I've I have such a thirst for the spiritual because I just don't have it. Oh, I've gotta make you awesome. I know. It's like if I I should I feel like the well, I was raised Catholic as I as I said, and I feel like the Catholic to woo woo pipeline is I did it. That was did you? I was like, it's a pretty it's a pretty I went to Catholic school, elementary, middle school, and high school, and they, like, made us go to church at school. And I had to sing songs like, God's not dead. Catholic though. Canada though. Oh, see. For me, it was, like, I was so I and I I was a true believer too. Oh, yeah. I was doing, like, bread and water fast for the lost souls in purgatory when I was, like, 12 years old. And then I the main thing is when I was in high school, I was having sex with my boyfriend Yeah. Which is normal. Right. But I I thought I was going to hell, but I still I still kept doing it. I know. So I was like, what is wrong with you? Well, my confusing thing is about people like, I I got told many of times I'm going to hell because on Bachelor, again, I had sex with people. Yeah. And I'm like, the women telling me that I was going to hell said that I, like, deserve to be in a dumpster and die. And I'm like, does Jesus f**k with that? Yeah. Yeah. That's how I always felt. I was kinda like, that's not confusing. Yeah. Mhmm. I that's why I kind of that's one of the reasons I was like, this doesn't make sense. Yeah. I shouldn't have to spend forever in a fiery eternity because I'm having sex with my boyfriend. Who would do that to someone? You know? So I know. But I I mean, that I know that there's also versions of Christianity, versions of Catholicism that are not like that. Yes. Of course. But that's I've had to learn I've had to get to know a lot of people. I have friends who are very Christian, who are who are the some of the least judgmental people that I know. Same. But just the version of it that I was was not Of course. There's healthy for me. Again, there's so there is so many different I I literally went to church for Christmas last Christmas and loved it. I loved every second of it. I could, like It was a fun church? It was a fun church. Yeah. It was very just, like, inclusive, celebratory of, like, who your god is. Yeah. Like, it could you know, the moon could be your god, and that's how you believe. Like, you know, it's like I don't know. It's fun. I went to confession. Like, I would go and tell the priest, like, that I was having sex with my boyfriend. And he would just, like they don't even listen. They're just, like, pray Hail Marys or whatever. But, like, I'd be sweating every time. I'd be like, god, you did it again, and now you gotta do this. You're gonna do it now. I'd be like a teenager. You know? That takes a toll on a little teenager. You know? That amount of shame every week. For again, I'm having sex with my boyfriend. Yeah. Really not groundbreaking stuff there. Really not groundbreaking stuff, but it felt that way to me. Yeah. And I was, like, really judging myself. Like, really? Is this worth spinning forever in hell? And I guess I kept deciding that once. Yeah. And then next weekend, rolls around and goes, like, well, you know, it's just like there's just, like, it's a hell of a burden to place with someone who's, like, 17 years old. It really is. You know? I always my niece is 16, and I try and have really open, honest conversations where with her about things, but she's I mean, my sister is one of the most incredible parents I've ever met. She's just so But I also don't wanna overcorrect with my own kid. Like, if I have a daughter, I wanna be like, so you having sex? Like, I don't wanna be like that mom either. You know what I mean? Auth of Vine is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. So let's be real, as we always are, multitasking, as we talk about, can feel like an Olympic sport. You got your favorite podcast playing, hi, it's me. Someone next to you is chatting away. Your car fan is blasting. You're scanning for a parking spot. It doesn't feel like it's a mile away from the door. Overwhelming. I know. But here's the good news. Not all multitasking is a headache. Quoting with Progressive Insurance is actually super easy. They've got this handy little comparison tool I've talked about on the pod before that does all the heavy lifting for you. It compares rates from multiple companies so that you can find the one that works best for you, even if it's not with them. 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So do not miss out on saving big this holiday. Head to wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals. That's wayfair.com. My husband, he's like, I'll I'll he's like, I'll take the kids to church. Like, he's like, I think it's good for kids to go to church. And so it's like, I'm friends with doctor Drew. Right? You know doctor Drew? Yes. And he's always like, you're you're not at risk of picking up your kids in the way you were up. You're at risk of overcorrecting in the other direction. That's, like, what people often do. That's exactly what they do because they go, I will not be that. So they think the by not being that, it's the opposite of that. Well, I've been told that I have to not can we talk about Santa on this? Is that too? Talk about what? Santa? Yeah. Okay. I was like, is Santa a code word for Santa? I was like, is Santa a code word for Santa? Do you feel weird about Santa? I don't know. Sorry. I guess I've been yelled at a lot about Santa today. Oh my god. I love Santa. Of all the things I've already said on here, I was like Santa. Like sexuality, religion. I'm like, who's Santa? Santa. Okay. So he's not real. We could say that? Okay. So he's not okay. I didn't wanna tell forever that my kids kids that Santa wasn't real because, like, I didn't because it's like, I don't wanna, like, lie to them. I wanna be, like, like, everything. And my Cam was, like my husband's same as Cam. He's like, you can't just, like, open them up to all the truths and egos of the world when they're, like, little kids. I know. So I I but, actually, I never saw this before, but I will say I I will I'll do the Santa thing. Oh, no. I will. I I just but I I I'm on I'm on record a lot saying that I'm not doing it, and I think it's horrible that one of the only things we can agree on as a society is that we were gonna mass engage in a mass delusion of our children. I love that, though. Right. It's magic. And now I'm softening on that. I'm like To me Santa, I think what we can do, but I think so. This is the first time I've ever say I'm ever saying this. Oh, wow. I think that I because it just hit me when I was talking about the overcorrecting. Yeah. That might be what my Santa thinks about. There you go. There you go. The fact that I was so scared to talk about it too. I'm like, this is good. Because people have gotten really mad at me about it because they're like, that's the happiest. But, also, I found out it wasn't real when I was, like, 5. So I never really liked it. Real in the 6th grade, and it was embarrassing. Oh. But my parents did a great job. Like, kudos to my parents for the kids. Feel damaged at all by Santa? No. You're never like I like love I think it's like, have you ever gone to a magic show? Not on purpose. By accident? Yeah. I mean, it's, like, happened. Like, I've been, like it's, like, you know It, like, brings out some nostalgic feeling in me where I'm like, this feels like something that I I that is magic. It's magic to me. I don't understand it. I don't know it, and it blows my mind. Santa used to blow my mind. I used to be like, how does one guy go from house to house Yeah. Get all these presents? He's just this big, old, fat white guy with a beard Yeah. And reindeers are pulling like, the magic to that for me was I was like, wow. And I still feel that way when I go to a magic show. I'm like, wow. I like, it's like you believe in something again. Wow. Yeah. The cookies and the carrots. I used to feed Santa nonalcoholic beer and cookies. Because he's driving. Yeah. Oh, you know? But yeah. Well, really, it's because my dad was a recovering alcoholic and That's why you had him in the house. So we had that. Yeah. Yeah. I I think I guess, I was like, I don't wanna lie to my my kids, but I guess that I don't think I guess kids aren't growing up, like, on the streets. Like But you're gonna I mean, you're not gonna tell them the truth about everything at the beginning anyways. Yeah. Is it'll be such a magical thing for them. Yeah. You know? See, I I got so a girl told me in my class that tooth fairy wasn't real, and then I just used a deductive reasoning as a 5 year old to be like, oh, the Easter bunny was really fake. And then Satch Yeah. But tooth tooth fairy, I wanted to believe in as long as I possibly could because I got money. Oh, yeah. So I would, like, lie until I was, like, trying to manipulate my parents into me still believing in the tooth fairy just so I don't know what to do. Wisdom teeth out when you're, like, in your twenties? Like, why should I get a lot more money for this? I had to go under, guys. Looking under my pillow, they're like, you're in Germany. I got my wisdom teeth out in Germany. Oh. It was emergency dental surgery in Germany, and they don't give you painkillers or put you out. Are you okay? No. It was traumatizing. And the German doctor laughing at? Like, nothing? Nothing. And and they prescribe they have to prescribe you Advil in Germany. You can't just get Advil over the counter. That's crazy. Will you put your kids on social media? No. I don't think so. Yeah. I don't think I can do it. Like, just the stuff people say to me. And I've I've, like, signed up for this, and, you know, they didn't Yeah. I think that's how I feel too. I go back and forth all the time. 1, if if I'm gonna have kids, I want to, I think. But 2, if they would be involved in my social media because I think I would be so scared of I feel like I'll have to, like, tell stories about that. I don't know about, like, having to stories. Sure. Yeah. But not not like Yeah. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna have a page for the kid. Yeah. I just don't. No. No. No. And let but the but that could be their career down in 20 years. Well, that's true. That's like a college fund these days, just building some of the a kid's Instagram. I it really is. It is. Oh my gosh. And the kids got no idea. No idea. The kids got no idea. Don't like their username. What if they don't like, like, what if they like the pictures of themselves? You know what I mean? Yeah. What do you think the biggest misconception of you is? I think the biggest misconception of me depends on the person. I think that some people think that I'm an idiot because I am silly, and I'm vulgar. So they think they don't I can't be smart. Yeah. And I'm actually a really good writer. Yeah. And I I people who read my writing know that, but not everyone does. Right. I think that, also, the biggest misconception of me is just probably that I people who say that I toe the line, which is really I have very strong beliefs on issues, but they just don't fit neatly into one partisan box or the other. Right. Which as I said earlier, it would be a lot easier if I if they did. You're right. Or if I even put that in there. Your magic is that you're not here to do that. You're here to do this and show people that it doesn't have to why am I make I'm, like, at treating me like a kid. It doesn't have to be like this. It doesn't. And if you have different views than me, then that's cool. I mean, when it when it comes to disrespecting people or being an a*****e, that's different. Right? I guess I guess what's, like, something you would want people to know moving forward when it comes to different parties, different beliefs, how we can all see each other as human again? I think that just not being so quick to write people off because of what you've told you should be have to feel. Right. And being curious instead of being judgmental. Mhmm. I'm curious about people. I like to meet new people and be like, why do you think that? Yeah. And a lot of times, people have reasons for how they why they think stuff that is different than what you might have thought it is. And are people, do you think, just too afraid to say their actual beliefs so they stick with other people's? I mean, research does show that too, that there's gaps between people's what they say they believe and what they actually believe. Wow. And I get why because it sucks to get hate all day long. Yeah. It can definitely get to it gets to me sometimes Right. A lot sometimes. Yeah. But I I really do think that we do have so much more to gain by getting along with each other. You know? God. One day, do you think? I don't I think it's gonna get worse before it gets I mean, sadly. I mean, like, the election Yeah. Is gonna this is a rough time. Okay. Well, speaking of your writing, where can people get your book? The real cat tiff.com, book, tickets to my shows, merch. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I'm like, I now look into the camera and tell everybody how they can all get along. Yeah. Please. Be nice to each other out there. Nice to each other. Thank you so much for your opinions and for being so vulnerable in your book and being able to just have the strength to say what you believe. I think a lot of people are scared of that. Thank you for having me. I'm so sorry that I was so ridiculously, unacceptably late. It's okay. And I'm very sorry. And I, like, I feel like I worked some s**t out here today, and I feel I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you very much. Thank you. You know how you yeah. You worked out some Santa stuff. Yeah. My husband's gonna be really excited. I'm gonna be like, you remember Kaitlyn Bristowe from The Bachelor slash The Bachelor? Well, I talked to her, and we can do Santa. That's literally the phone call that I'm about to have. I'll see you guys. You saved Christmas. I just saved Christmas. I saved Christmas. You did. You're welcome. Merry Christmas. Yeah. Happy Hanukkah. I'm Kaitlyn Bristowe. Your session is now ending. And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating interview. I love reality TV on Pluto TV. Same. And I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives Vault channel. I'm totally free to watch Bad Girls Club. I'm free for Jersey Shore. Love and hip hop? I'm free all day. Survivor? I'm free all night. With hundreds of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto TV. Pluto TV, stream now? Hey, never. Hi. I'm Stassi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with, like human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it, and you will too. Listen to my podcast, Staci, wherever you get your podcasts.
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