Transcript
I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you. This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley. I really want you to be in your field skill that does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Caitlin Lindsay. This episode of Coffee Convos podcast is brought to you by Huggies Special Delivery Diapers. Hello, coffee combos. I thought someone was knocking at my door. Oh, that was just might be OK. Well, it was all for you, but good morning. Hello, how are you? I'm well. I lost my voice from cheering at Lincoln's game yesterday. How are you? I'm doing OK. I've had quite an eventful weekend, and I can't wait to tell you about it. Lots of s**t going on, some that I'm like, happy about, some that I'm pissed off about, some that I'm indifferent about and then something I'm happy about. So that sounds like a good balance. We love a good balance. Yeah, I didn't need to tell you, though, right before we started recording ups like parked right in front of my driveway. And it's always like a mystery of what's going to show up. Same. I never know. But like most recently, I have to tell you the things that I've been ordering because you're going to be like, You can't be my friend anymore. I've been ordering like lots of fake plants, and it's because I think I already buy, already buy. It's because I can't keep them alive. And you want the look, you want the aesthetic. I'm definitely down for the aesthetic, and I feel like that truly fits who we are as people. It's like, you are definitely into nature. You're you're one with the plants. And I'm like, OK, as long as the aesthetic is appealing, I don't care if it's real or if it's foul. But another one of my fake plants showed up this morning and I'm like, Wow, I should probably stop ordering them. But here's the thing. You go online and you try to look at these fake plants and you're like, OK, that looks like it might be a good one. And it's like a major bamboozle because you get it and then you get comments from suburban dad of this is the worst fake little thing that like I have ever seen. And then he puts it behind my my sofa, looking out the window as if it's actually needing sunlight. No, I'm I'm surprised because fake plans are so expensive. Yeah, they are so expensive. But sometimes you be trying to search a deal and you're like, OK, like, I could maybe get away with this if it's from afar, you know, like, you might not want to be spending that much. Yeah. And then it's a major bamboozle and you get it and you're like, OK, wow, I actually need to throw that away because this looks like 1990's fake plants with like grapes on them that our moms had above their kitchen. Like, you know how they managed them? Yeah, my nanny had those the fake grapes, the whole. I don't know why, like in a bowl, like on a table and stuff. And they were so dusty and they were so like she never dusted them, but she did have real plants. It's like b***h dust or fake grapes. Like, that's the least you could do. Like, you're not watering anything the like, squeeze them. And they were just so like Dusty. No, I. Someone asked me on my Q&A the other day on Instagram. If I also do like outdoor plants. And you know what? I thought it was a really good question. I do not do outdoor plants at all. That just feels like a whole other because there's not bugs in my house and I just feel like the bugs and like the insects that would get into outdoor plants would just not be my thing. So I've always just left outdoor plants to the landscapers. But I did buy two fake plants for my porch, my front porch, and they're going to have to be fake and they're going to have to get pressure washed regularly because I know they're going to get dusty, but I'm so dad, can you imagine just like being outside pressure washing your fake plants? Well, you know, that's the inside of the house needs to be pressure wash, too. So we might as well pressure wash the plants. I love it so much. Somebody sent me a message not too long ago and was like, I think it was one I actually posted fake plants I bought. OK, so I bought these mom's like off of QVC. Fake ones are real ones. Oh, fake ones, for sure. And they're like these mum balls. And I'm like, OK, these kind of look shady and like, really bad from up close, but from afar, like they're going to look good. And then I have been watching TikToks and stuff about how people will plant fake plants and real soil to make them look like super real. Stop it, so I'm like, you know what, if this pans out for me, then I will share all the details because ain't nobody trying to keep s**t outside alive. Like I know I spent seven hundred dollars trying to buy plants for my yard when the season started. And every bit of that s**t passed away like Fried in the Sun try to water either over, watered it. So just saying I don't have a green thumb. People are making fun of me and my. I'm saying that at one point I was the plant lady and then you like to walk past me and took over. So I'm glad. I'm glad for you. I'm glad that you're doing something better than me. Congratulations, Gil. Look, look. Oh my God. Lindsay, I can't. I was like the most passive aggressive thing I've done in some time. And I tell you about yesterday at the game. So what was going on? The same gym that has no AC and you know, I'm not even complaining for my damn self this time. I'm complaining for these kids because there's no way that can be healthy for these kids to be playing in the heat because it was hotter inside than it is outside. But I always so Harvey couldn't make it to the game. Harvey is the head coach, and he is the best man in a wedding coming up, so he was at the Bachelor Party in Vegas. Long story short, actually, it's not going to be a long story short. It's at the Bachelor party in Vegas, a good five. So he told me to go on live so that he could see the game and give feedback or whatever. So I was like, All right, but so I get online, like, I do that anyway, even on hobbies there. So I was sitting on the coach's side instead of like in the stands. But regardless, I'm going to cheer for my kids. All of the kids on my basketball team are the same kids that we play football with. And so these kids are truly like my own children. Like, I know their parents, they always have sleepovers over here. Long story short, I said these. I go live and the people in my life were like, Stop. You're not the coach. If you want to be a coach, go be a coach, whatever. First of all, I'm the coach when Harvey's not here. Brandon became head coach when Hobie is not there, which is he's always like him and Harvey are like, right him then right? Right hand man, left hand man, whatever. So I was like, I'll be the coach when Harvey's not here to like, I'll be the assistant coach. Cool. So these kids are sweating, but I always cheer for them always. And I ask them to their faces last week when people were complaining about it last week. I said, Does it bother you guys when I cheer and they said half the time, they don't even hear it. And then my nephew was like, If I make it, all I hear is buckets, and I'm like, Yeah, you know, I got a cheer for y'all. Like, I just love it so much, and I don't ever do it to be a distraction. But I told the kids yesterday in the car, I said, If I'm ever too much, just tell me to chill. And they never do. And so I just want to say anyone that watches my lives on the games, either. If you want to watch them and you don't want to hear me your phones, but according to the children who are brutally honest with me at all times, they do not give a f**k. And then someone like I would like say under my breath, like, what the hell was that? You're like, man alive. The kid's sporting event? Yeah, but the kids couldn't hear me, and then someone was like, Tell her to stop cussing. And it's like, I'm not cussing at the kids. And I'm saying it's so low under my breath. Like, Chill out and let me be the mom that I am like, This is who I am. It'll never stop unless my kids say they're embarrassed and just shut the f**k up and get off my leave if you don't like it. Wait, so this reminds me of when Jackson would get up to bat, and once he reached an age where I guess he, like, started getting embarrassed by like nicknames, he would tell me he would be like, Mom, if I go up there, I will not be misbehaving. But you don't call me wacky, OK? It's like, Well, yeah, like, I call him woogie wogs boogie. But don't call him in the game. Don't call him that. It's like a, you know, like a dog. Everybody's dog has like 20 names like my kid has 20 names. All right, so I want to take a break really fast because I want to talk about cerebral mental health service, and you guys know I've been in therapy for so long. I'm actually coming up on three years and I recently got a psychiatrist. So I want to tell you guys how important this is. Cerebral is an online mental health service that offers prescription medication counseling and therapy for anxiety, depression, ADHD, insomnia and more. And I actually have a variety of these things also, so I cannot tell you and express to you how helpful therapy and meds have been for me. I love so much that Carl has been able to share so much of her journey, and I regularly talk about therapy as well. And really just, you know, taking a moment to chat about our mental health. I think that is so important and with cerebral. They are one of the few services that provides prescription medication online through a licensed provider and ships medication straight to your door so you can skip the pharmacy lines. And you guys all know that we are definitely advocates for anything that makes life a little bit easier with a cerebral mobile app. It's like having your personal care team wherever you are, so you can message your care team and access self-care resources wherever you are, and then connect with your counselor and therapist on your own schedule through your laptop or through the cerebral mobile app. And I think this is so great with just the way that we do life now, all of us. I think being able to do things on your own schedule and through an app is absolutely amazing. Listeners for this program, you can receive 65 percent off your first month of medication management and care counseling at cerebral.com/. Both go to cerebral.com/ combos for 65 percent off your first month. That's just a total of $30. To get started, join Cerebral today on their mission to make quality mental health care accessible and affordable for all. All right, guys. So we have talked about Stamps.com many of times over the years, and I know that having to drop what you're doing to make a run to the Post Office is a major pain. I have personally experienced this and I have more important things to do, and I know that you guys definitely do as well. So stop mailing and shipping the hard way. Stamps.com is your 24-7 post office that you can access from anywhere. Skip the headache with stamps. Dot com stamps.com saves you time, money and stress. For more than 20 years, Stamps.com has been indispensable for over one million businesses. Stamps.com gives you access to all the Post Office and UPS shipping services you need right from your computer. You can get discounts that you cannot find anywhere else, like up to 30 percent off USPS rates and 86 percent off ups. Whether you're an office sending invoices, an Etsy shop, sending your products or a warehouse to shipping out orders, it really does make mailing and shipping a breeze. So if you guys want to try this? Don't mail and ship the hard way. Sign up for Stamps.com today. Sign up with promo code Coffee for a special offer that includes a four week trial, plus free postage and a digital scale. There are no long term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page and enter Code Coffee. Wait, so I want to play something for you while we're on this topic because there was a tick tock that I ran across a couple of weeks ago and I feel like specifically, Kristen is not putting this on the list of things that we regularly say we want to talk about because she knows it's going to make somebody heated whenever I play it. So here it goes. Why me? A woman? She's a kid. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm going to be perfectly honest. I don't care how beautiful you are, touch, etc. I still like you. But it is a detriment. It's a detriment because my agent, my agent. Have you accepted ever to play the step daddy role of man? Let me ask you this question. Front door, I presume that is Joe, and I think about him like, and I don't know. But you know what? I might be polite. Like, I might walk in the house. I say, take the little guy safe because mom and dad. Well, that's about it. And we know strollers. You're just think that there is something very wrong with you. And I don't like to do right. I really do that. You think I have my own kids? I push strollers. I don't know what to do. I don't understand this mentality. I don't understand what the mistake. There's there's some type of like misogynistic, like mass, like overly masculine thought process behind this. And I completely understand that there's like a preference, right? Like, I have a preference not to date men with kids, but it's not had has nothing to do with the child. It has to do with unfaithful fathers, you know? And so I don't I don't understand what this like whole like were damaged goods if we have kids. I was so triggered by this because I was like, OK, wait, I am a single mom and I don't feel like I should be eliminated from the pool of people because I'm a single mom like I have my own. I'm not asking you to come in and do anything. Well, exactly, and that's what I was going to say. It's like, you're not asking, you know, a new partner to come in and play the dad role. It's just accepting the fact that I have a child. And like I said, I understand the whole preferences thing, but preferences from a standpoint of like, maybe where I'm coming from versus like, I'm not looking at men and saying they're damaged goods because they have a child. It's just like, I don't trust you to be faithful. It's very triggering because look at Elijah, for example, I I have never asked him for anything regarding my kids at all. Anybody I've dated. I've never asked them for anything. I've never asked them to be a dad. I've never asked them to provide financially. I've never asked them to do any of that stuff, to coach their teams, to do anything like that. And so like, I just don't, I guess, I just don't understand. So for me, it's a misogynistic, yes perspective, and I hate it. So when I was watching that ticktalk, I was literally just like scrolling late at night and I was so triggered by it. I was like, OK, I literally hate this Tik Tok or now. Like for this mindset alone, which, you know, his opinion, whatever. But at the same time, I'm like, OK, why are you putting yourself in a position to go home with a woman, dap it up with her little g and then have sex with her and then leave? Like, Why are you doing? Don't want to be a musician? Don't even engage with someone with kids at all, then, right? Like, immediately when you met this person, you should immediately. If that's how you feel about it, you should have immediately been like, Do you have kids? At that point when she said yes, he should have walked the other way. I just don't. I don't understand it. And I it's just it's so weird like I was. I was like, You bothered it. I don't like it. I can't even get my thoughts across because it's just so. And then you have men that'll step up and like, do everything above and beyond. And it's just what are they less of a man because they stepped up to take care of and help raise another child, another man's child? Like, you're not cooler by. Not f**king with someone that has kids. You're not cooler by. You're like, Oh, I'm not going to raise another man's child. You're not. That doesn't make you cooler. I think since we're on this topic, if I was thirty two years old and I hadn't had a child, would I be maybe seeking different partnership? Like, would my views be different? Maybe so. Like, if I didn't have one and I was just living nilly willy traveling around the world doing my podcast, you know, whatever. I think that it would be easier to be with someone who didn't have kids, right? Like that, to me, is a normal thought process. Yeah, but it would be. Easier, you're not saying you're not saying that like they're less than because they have kids. No, that's the part that I'm having a hard time with is like essentially women that single mothers are less than because they have children. Like that's just so foul to me. But now, you know, a long time ago, I was like, because I used to say this to my parents all the time. If I got married, got divorced, I'm not going to try to be with somebody that, you know, has a whole life that was before me and now because I had a whole life before someone else. I'm like, OK, now my mindsets totally change. So maybe this person is just ignorant. Have to be. But I've definitely heard men with the same mentality. I've definitely experienced and I've seen other videos that are similar to this, and I just think it's so weird. Like, I'm going to look at a man that provides for, you know, his his woman, his his partner's other children as more of a man. I mean, you're you're more selfless, you're stronger because it is a lot to attach yourself to someone else's kid. I get that. I'm just going to look at like a stepdad or a significant other of a single mom more highly than I would of someone like the video that you just played saying because like, I am disgusted. I will say after saying all that, I'm very happy in a situation that I am currently in. Truthfully, I don't think that I could be with someone at this point that didn't have a kid or kids because they're such common ground there. I think once you find that you find such a common ground that you're able to relate on so many things that someone who wasn't bringing that into the situation just cannot understand because you're not going through it. It's just different. Yeah, yeah, I can see that outside of it, too. I could definitely see that side of it. So what else would you do this weekend other than sit and get cost out because you were cussing at Little League? Well, evidently I went missing. I know it was not, evidently. Let me tell you what happened, allegedly? No, not allegedly. This is a fact. I was sitting eating dinner with suburban dad in Chattanooga, and I go on my phone. I'm looking at locations, see no location found. But sometimes like when you go into like, find my friends, whoever is on there, if you haven't gone on there in a minute, it'll say no location found for everybody. Right? Or like if somebody like I went into a restaurant the other day and they had no service and Elijah called me and was like, Did you turn your location off? And I was like, No, I don't think I had service in the restaurant. So that that could be the case. So I'm going on there and I see, like, no location found yourself and go, I see a text from Kristen and she's like, Hey, do you know where Kyle is? And I'm like, No. Like, I don't know where she's at. Let me check her location or whatever. Still not on. So I'm like, OK, something's off. Like, literally brings me back to a situation that we were all in a couple of years ago where kill could not be reached, Kristen was flying down the highway, trying to go to her house to make sure that she was still intact in one piece. And I was threatening Kristen that I was calling 9-1-1, and then Kristen was basically screaming at me, telling me, like, Do not call 9-1-1. I am on the way there. And then Kyle wouldn't answer her phone. So are you going to update us on what happened or are you just going to say you were missing still? I it was unbeknownst to me that I was missing. Let me just start there. I went, Well, this is going to get a little sticky because I. OK, so I had to go somewhere, and once I was finished, where ever I was going was not. I wasn't cheating. I wasn't doing anything illegal, but I had to go somewhere and I it was just like a very chaotic night for me. So then when I was done with the Aaron I had to, I was just so exhausted and tired, and I had my phone on Do Not Disturb. And so I just went home and I went to bed and I never knew that I was missing because evidently I never texted anyone back after I left the house. And then my location was off. I may or may not have turned it off myself. I don't know. I don't remember. And Kel, I went to bed. So when I woke up the next morning at like, 10:30, 11:00, something like that, I didn't have any of the kids, so I slept in and I was missing. And then Natalie was like. Out and about, she was she was like on a little mini vacation, and she said they were like drinking and stuff. And she called me the next day at like 5:00 p.m. And she's like, Oh my God, I was f**ked up and I forgot that you. You may have been missing. She's like, sort of calling to check for you. And I was like, Thank God, I wasn't missing. I'm fine. I'm good. I've spoke to Lindsey and Kristen, and everything is all is all well. We need to identify why we're such psychopaths. I think that we all have PTSD from, like a specific person. Yeah. And it's like, I don't know at what point that's going to go away, if ever. Probably never. Truthfully, I thought that you were very much missing and I was like, OK. She does not have the kids. There is no location found. Everyone knows that we like true crime. Mm-Hmm. That guy that we covered on the True Crime podcast, whatever their frickin heck, his name is Hunter. Whatever Hunter Moore, Hunter Moore has come to his people. And kill has gone. Well, I'm alive and well, I just wanted you all to know, I'm glad they've gone for your concern. 12 hours later, yes. Thank you so much for your concern. I really do appreciate the love that you all have for me. Kristen looks like she texted me and she's like, Ah, was it might have been you or might have been both of you. I don't know you. Somebody said, You know, you have to think twice about calling the police about me because it would literally be all over the news in like four hours. So like, it would be so hard. You know, you don't want to cause like this huge thing. Caylee goes missing. You don't know what the circumstances are. It's all over the news or social media. And you know, the 911 call would get leaked. So it's like, do you call? Do you not call? Do you wait a little while like, it's so hard? First of all, if I really like deeply thought that you were, like, legitimately missing, I would have called 9-1-1. And I don't care if the 9-1-1 got leaked, I would've been like, Excuse me me. I'm already know this is going to be a leaked phone call, and it's going to be an open records request. My friend is missing and I need to go out to her land ASAP and make sure that her vehicle is there her land. And if it's not there, you guys need to like radio to the other cops that are like in the area and tell them to be looking for this car. It might be over on the side of the road because she might be s**tting or pissing. I literally don't even care. Like, do not even freaking care. OK? I can't. I was going to wait for Bowen to tell this story, but literally the next day, like after, I have effectively let everyone know that I was alive. Bowen was missing, like legitimately missing one. I swear to God like I was trying to wait for Bowen to tell the story, but she's not here. So I woke up after I informed you all that I was alive and well. Sister calls me and she's like, Hey, have you heard from Bowen? Because sometimes Bowen stays here because she's painting the walls and, you know, whatever, but she actually lives with her sister up like an hour away. And I said, No, actually, I haven't heard from her since Thursday night. And so in the morning, she was like, Well, she didn't show up for work. She was supposed to be at work. I checked her location. Her location is off. The text messages are not going through, they're not being delivered, which means not only is her location off, but her phone is off. Hmm. And you know, I didn't know who she was with. Her car was at her mom's, but she wasn't home. So I was like, what the f**k go out looking for her in places I thought that she might be? And I actually did call 9-1-1. Wait. Where was she? I did. She was at the f**king peach festival. Stop. Was it the Peach Festival with a f**king dead phone and her phone was dead and you called the cops? That's why you have the mentality of people being careful about calling the cops on you. Well, because it all added up that like she was in someone's basement being tortured, you know, like she didn't show up for work when her phone was off, location was off. Nobody had heard from. I hadn't heard from her since Thursday at 11 00 six p.m. Like me and bone talk almost every day like it was just not well. We were not well in her car was and her sister was like, Oh, I'm relieved that her car out my mom's because that means she didn't get an accident. I said, I'm not relieved because that means that she might be with somebody that we don't know, and she might be with somebody that is holding her hostage. So no, that is actually worse. So I'm waiting outside the police. The state troopers are on their way and I find where I think she might be at a friend's house and I'm just waiting there and I talk to the neighbor and then the police officer calls me back and she's like, You can't do your own investigation when we're on our way. And I was like, I'm sorry, like my friend. I just, I'm so concerned. I do. True crime once a month on my podcast and like sometimes I basically in a private investigator. And so here got bone rose up with her friend in the car at Peach Festival and her phone died. And I'm sure she wanted to kill me because the officer came and got my information and I was like, I'm really sorry about this. And she actually the officer was really, really sweet about it because I was not trying to waste resources. I would never do that. But she said it's better to be safe than sorry because her last missing person was actually, how do you, how do you say dead set on the scene? Oh wow. Dead on arrival. I'm not. Well, no. So thank God, man was not dead. Arrival. We both we both went missing within 24 hours. So I just got my green chef package delivered a couple of days ago, and I'm so excited because I'm able to do gluten free options and, you know, that's what I've been trying to do for so long now. And they have twenty four recipes weekly that you can choose from. You can mix and match meals from different preferences like Vegan Keto Winfrey, and you can customize your meals with us as a certified organic ground beef, USDA certified organic chicken and wild caught sockeye salmon. I absolutely love Green Chef. I also love Green Chef. I regularly order this every single week. I use talk to my grandmother all the time about how it was so hard to just cook for one or two people whenever I moved into my house alone. But with Green Chef, I just think it's so perfect that you can have smaller portions or larger portions or, you know, whatever you're looking for. And recently I got the one pie ziti bolognaise, and I regularly order from the meals that take like 30 minutes or less. Just because if I'm going to cook, I don't have like a whole lot of time to be able to do that. And I also love that Green Chef is the only meal kit that is both carbon and plastic offset. They offset 100 percent of their carbon footprint, as well as 100 percent of plastic in every box. So that is something that I also take into consideration when I'm just trying to be, you know, a little bit mindful. Yeah, I love that. I absolutely love that. We love Green Chef. We've been using them on and off for years, and I love that you can pause it if you're not going to be home, if you go on vacation or during sometimes during sports season, and I just don't have enough time to cook. It's really nice. You guys can try Green Chef if you go to Green Chef.com/ combos one thirty five and use code combos one thirty five to get one hundred and thirty five dollars off across five boxes and your first box ships free. So go to Green Chef.com/ combos 135 and use code combos 135 five. This is a number one meal kit for eating well, green chef. Well, I was not missing this weekend. That's good. I'm happy for you and I also I got to talk to suburban dad on face time. Yeah, you did. I know. And then our listeners and collective followers decided that they felt like I needed to address my harder launch this weekend on Onconova's podcast. So well, let's talk about it. Here I am. We decided that we were going to do Chattanooga for the weekend. They have some great eating. They have some great fun things to do. I have some videos that I still have yet to share. So we're in that in my taste are very different when it comes to traveling, which makes for a very interesting trip. Like, what do you mean? Well, let's just say that I booked the moxie, which is a Marriott hotel, and I think it's such like a fun and so cool little hip vibe. It's got great drinks for God's sake. They have a nugget ice maker. It's like, get with the times, just a really cool, fun, understated, simple, ballistic little place. And like, I really like it and I stay at Max's pretty much everywhere while I say literally shot at one for coffee combos. Yeah, and like, I've stayed in one moxy Times Square, Kristen and I actually had c**ktails at one kill. Probably wanted to kill us on that day. I stayed at Moxy Chattanooga. Cal stayed there. I've stayed in Moxy, Nashville. They're just great. And so, yeah, that's just like, not really suburban dads vibes. He actually had a hair appointment on Friday, and so I went and had my hair done and he had some work to do. So he went over to the West End, which we have also stayed at. That was the puking hotel where I love the Westin, where he'll puked all over the f**king place, but I think we love that. And so, yeah, he sent me a video of the Western vibe. So I feel like this week on Coffee Convos Story, I'm going to post like suburban dads idea of like a nice place to stay and like my idea of a nice place to stay. And you guys will immediately know who is this news and who is a good time. I, to be fair, I really love. I love both. I love both option. But it depends what type of vibe you're going for. Like if you're going for, like, chill, we're going to go get massages and we're going to like, book fancy dinners. I would vote for staying at the West End, but if you're going and you're going to do like casual dinners hanging out like you and I hung out in the lobby in the moxy before and it was so much fun. Oh gosh, it was so much fun. So they had like Scrabble down there or like Jenga, I can't remember. Well, you know, we didn't really participate in any of that when we were there. But I just like, you know, I just like to. Like to see the people, I think it's very like eclectic, I think there's like a lot going on. There's different strokes for different folks like you might see, you know, some hipsters in there, you might see some high end business people in there. And then, you know, you see some kids and then you wonder why the heck their parents have them there. But then you're like, You know what? That's your parenting to do, not mine. So like, I'm going to be real on my judgment on that. And like, I hope you guys are having a good time and then you have people like me. And so we're not. It's a good one, and I need everyone to know that like, I win on this, he was like, Pull it and see like what people think. And I'm like, I absolutely will pull this, and I hope that everybody goes for a good time. And if you don't, then I'm going to be upset. I have to. I think hot neighbor in suburban Don May maybe similar in this, but also I think Elijah might have something that's like completely different than all of us because like, I'm I'm 50 50 with you and suburban dad Chris, and I don't remember what hotel we stayed at when we went for dinner that one night in Philly. It was cute, but they had like, we got massages and things like that. And he just like, was not used to that and he didn't love it. So I think he almost would have liked the marks, like something like the moxie. But we don't have anything like that around here. I'm just like, You know what? You should be down for a good time, like when you don't have the kids. I think that that's like a really fun little vibe. And when you do have the kid, you say the West End. And like, it's cool. Yeah, if it's everybody. That's fair. So we had a really good weekend. We had some nice dinners, had some good lunch, went on like over a 10 mile bike ride on Saturday. Snuggled Watch some Virginia River, Virgin River. I always call it Virginia River, almost caught up on Virgin River and looking for other shows to watch. So if anybody has any recommendations, that's great. And then on my side, time between Friday and three minutes before I started recording, I also was arguing with Will. So that's been a fun time. OK, well, I'm happy for you. You're like, I'm very I'm very happy for you. Like on one front, suburban dad sounds great on the other. Co-parenting arguments are terrible. I hate that for you, and thankfully I have not been in one since last week. But what's going? You said since last week? Good bye bye. The sports conversation. So I mean, I don't really know like what happened in the shift changed like the tide, like totally turned. And I can't really like pinpoint. And I think that's what's aggravating me the most. Like, I can't really pinpoint when it happened or why it happened. It just like was abrupt. And I all of a sudden I was just like, hit with it. Suburban dad is referred to by Will as neighbor dad, so I'm not sure why he's actually listening to the podcast and mixing up hot neighbor and suburban dad. Or Kristin can have a neighborhood dad if he is just thinking that his name's neighborhood dad when it's like really suburban dad. But yeah, pretty much. I was told to stop talking about anything will related on the podcast. Why do they do this? Why do they do that? They all when everyone gets their f**king tidy whiteys and a bunch they all get pissed off about, like when me and Harvey are cool, he's fine with it. And when we're not cool, he's not OK with it, don't ever talk to me again, this is our lives. Whether they like it or not, we're going to talk about we're not just like talking about it to, like, hurt their feelings, to spite them. This is like real s**t that people relate to in our lives. Why do they do that? So never related to you more until this like whole thing blew up, and it's just been like a back and forth. And I will say, like my level of toxic participating in this is also off the chain. So I'm also going to talk about myself because I could have definitely engaged with him better or paused for a minute. And I don't know if you guys remember me talking about my therapist telling me that there's like power in the polls and sometimes it's best just like to not have an immediate response and like, really think it through before you start speaking. But I'll just tell you, sometimes when you get heated, it's like turns into trigger fingers and I'm just like, Hmm. So I have been threatened that I'm going to be sued if I continue talking. But here's my problem with it. We're going to roll back to when my parents were in federal court back over the summer and everyone in his family squeezes all my stuff. So it's like my Facebook, my Instagram Google podcast listening following absorbing my content. But yet I'm not allowed to say anything. But yet they're allowed to insert themselves into my life and into my business. Like it doesn't go both ways, and I have had this platform since I was married to Will. So it's not like this is something that came after the fact, right? That's what that is. Thank you. And I'm using it to be spiteful in any way. It's truly I am sharing my experience, things that are going on, it's not to make will look bad. It's not to make myself look bad. I will acknowledge things that I've done, my participation in the situation to give people a picture of exactly what's going on because I also don't think it's fair for me to come on here and only share bits and pieces when it's not giving a full picture of what's going on, because then that makes me look dishonest. And why would I do that if I am running two shows and my Instagram is dedicated to living an honest life? Why would I go on and sugarcoat something that isn't sweet like that just does not make sense to me? So this is a public notice that you can threaten to sue me all you want to. Anything that I say on here, either I can back up what I said or it is purely my opinion. I am commentating on the f**kery that is in my text messages over the phone, things that my son comes home telling me. I think that it's interesting when people try to focus on other people's issues instead of focusing on their own issues, which they have plenty of those to focus on. It's predatory behavior, and this is a public notice that I will discuss my co-parenting issues with will publicly when I choose to do so. I feel like it is important for me to share certain information to protect the integrity of my story, and I will freely talk about my life as I choose to. And if they want to continue to pray and do whatever they do, that's on them, I can't stop them from doing it, just like they can't stop me from speaking. I agree more wholeheartedly. Agree with you. I have nothing to add to that. Shout out to Hobie. We're on good terms right now for not giving me a hard time. But the other one that shall not be named on this episode, you. This all applies to you as well. You know, another thing that I wanted to say is that there were never any issues with my podcasts until they became an issue, right? So when there was a benefit there, never having to pay for a vacation, taking equity of not one but two homes that were joint assets, driving a truck that I paid for in cash, taking selfies and the reflection of that truck and posting them online on dating websites. I'm sorry, but like, what did you just say, taking a selfie and the reflection of the truck like in the window and you can see the truck that I paid for and posting them on dating websites. Nothing that I have. Did my ex-husband pay for? He can't say this a lot like one of my exes. And you know what's funny? Everything that I it's like, I never asked her for anything. Do you want me? I literally have not only bank receipts, but I have cash up receipts, Venmo receipts, and he turned. Mine's a little different, turned around and sold the bed. I got him because when he didn't have a bed, he was sleeping on an air mattress, sold the bed spray paint in the apartment. Just all kinds of things. And you're just like, I don't know which one's worse. Like, You don't have a bed. I buy you one. You sell it for cash, so you back to not having a bed or the fact that your f**king other women in it. I don't know what's worse having your ex by a vehicle and you're posting it on websites. I can't. I don't know which ones were worse. Like, this gets me into a whole nother topic, but I'm going to finish this one before I get into that one about the bed. I just think that it's just very interesting. And then to say that basically we're participating in cyberbullying because my fans are posting stuff online that he doesn't like. I'm not going out and seeking this information. These are things that people can use the internet to post freely if they choose to do so. And I had this community prior to us getting divorced. So now, because you don't like things that people are uncovering that you're doing online and then you tell me that you are going to sue me by. And some better use of your time, honestly, and then I had always heard the saying just around, I don't know where I really heard it, but it's been proven to be true for me is that you really don't know someone until you divorce them. And that is so true because who I thought I knew and who I know now are two totally different people. Isn't that so sad? Yeah, it's so it's so sad. And I'm just like, I don't understand why, because I truly did have such a desire, no matter what I did wrong in my marriage. People want to talk about articles that I cheated and had relationships with Josh Murray and Robby Hayes. And you know how I had this sex tape. And, you know, don't do that and I don't give a f**k like what I did in my marriage. I'm the one that has to live with it and what Will did in our marriage and after the fact, he has to live with it. So no one's going to threaten me. Say that they're going to say this s**t, say they're going to say that s**t, say s**t. Do s**t, be about s**t. I don't care. Like, I legitimately do not care, and I am not going to live my life being threatened for the rest of forever. Like, I'm just I'm not. You can't. And I saw this thing on Instagram when I was scrolling this morning. First thing when I woke up is said, Don't come f**k up my peace because you can't find yours. And like, I feel like that's a good little ending to that outside of this other message that I also received that I thought was a good. She said, Thank you for acknowledging co-parenting is hard. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes all you agree on is loving your child. That's where we're at. I never wanted to spend half my child's life away from him, but I didn't want to show him what I didn't want to show him. Love looked like us any more, either. It's a tough choice. Thank you for making me feel a little bit better about our divorce. OK, so that's I mean, that's positive feedback, and I agree with it. I agree with the whole statement. You know, it's like everything's not going to be, you know, sprinkles and butterflies and rainbows all the time. And that's OK. And you know, will doing whatever he does doesn't make him a bad person. I might just disagree with it, just like he disagrees with stuff I do, you know, and that doesn't make me a bad person. We just disagree. Heck, if we agreed on everything and we agreed on everything when it came to parenting, we'd probably still be frickin married. I've said that many of times. Right, right, right. Right? No, that's true. I mean, and why can't we talk about it? Why can't we? And I know it's like, maybe to some, it feels like dirty laundry, but also, I don't know. People resonate with pain and people resonate with the conflict. And we all want a solution. We don't all want it to stay in conflict at all times. So in a way, while we're helping others, other people's feedback and advice and comments back also help us. So I think there's a positive way to look at all of this. I agree, and I think too that. You know, which is frustrating when you feel like such a big part of your life is raising your children and when you are co-parenting with someone and that's part of your story. It's insane for someone to try to. Alienate you from being able to speak on your experience of what's going on, you know, if you don't want me to speak on what is currently going on and things that you're currently doing, then maybe don't do them or maybe self-reflect and stop worrying about what I'm speaking about and worry about what you're about, right? So there's just that. Just wanted to let you know about that. Just want to let you know about that. All right, it's back to school time, and shopping for new clothes is super stressful for me. I'm sure it is for every mom, just knowing that my kids all have different styles, so I opted to do stitch fixes, which are just a lifesaver. You get a pre-paid return envelope so that you can send back anything that you don't want or that your child maybe won't wear. Whatever your style is, there are now more than ever. So many options will get curated items from a stylist on the website, and all you have to do is go on. You do a little quiz about your style or your child's style, and they have men, women and children. It takes all of the legwork out of shopping, honestly. Well, as if I was going to be lying, but like, I'm just telling you, Stitch Fix is so awesome because even if Jackson doesn't need things like even if I don't need things, I still get these boxes because I love a good surprise that shows up and then someone picks something out for me that took zero effort on my part, but yet I still look the part. So I don't know. It's a big win. So if you guys have not tried Stitch Fix, it's really fun. It's easy to get started. The first thing that you're going to do is just take a few minutes to set up your Stitch Fix style profile. You'll answer a few questions about what you like to wear, what you don't, and how open you are to trying new styles. So for me, I'm very specific about things that I like, and I'm not super open to trying new things. Jackson is the exact same way, and that is OK, but you have the option if you like to try something new, you can. And then Stitch Fix expert stylist will go to work. Finding items that are going to be exclusively for you every piece is handpicked for you is unique to your size, style and your budget, and it just truly the best way to discover clothes that make you look good and feel your best. Stitch Fix will send you five pieces to try on at home. You're going to keep what you love, send back what you don't. As Carl said, shipping returns and exchanges are easy and free. And plus the best part is there is no subscription required. You can try it once or you can set up automatic deliveries and there are no hidden fees ever. Sign up today to get Stitch Fix.com/ convos to get $20 off your first purchase. That Stitch Fix.com/ combos to get $20 off your first purchase. Limited time offer purchase within two days of sign up. You going missing honestly made me realize that, like, I'm never turning my location off on someone again, I just want to say that as well. I I definitely agree with you with that I will also never turn my location off again. Carl, you're such a liar about that, but I'm going to let you slide for this moment until you do it again and then I call you out about it. Outside of that, you had said something about like a bed. I have such big feelings about this. So Will has our marital bed, marital mattress, and I'm kind of like, weird about it. I'm like, OK, I didn't want it. I'm like, You, you take it. You do whatever you want to with it. I remember when we were in college and you know, anything that he had done on his college mattress prior to me, I wasn't about that. And like, I didn't want that juju in my life and I wouldn't let him bring it into our first home. I don't even think I let him bringing it to our first apartment. I was like, No, like, we're going to budget and have to get a new mattress because I just don't want that. Like, I'm so weird about stuff like that. Mm hmm. Are you weird about it? Yes and no. Like, it's always a thought that crossed my mind like, Oh, I've definitely been with other other people in this bed or whatever. But once I moved into this house, I got a new mattress. Got my purple mattress and then my Nectar mattress for the guest room. So I, I thankfully didn't have to worry about it this time. But yes, I do think it's a little if. Yeah, I just don't like it. And then it just makes me feel like all weird and creeped out by it. I just this man literally. I bought him a mattress. We went and picked it out together. He f**ked other girls on it, like cheated on me with in the mattress and then sold it for money like waypoint. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm trying to tell you. OK, I don't know that I'm OK with that vibe. Honestly, like, I feel like that is a serial killer like that happened. So I don't even think I don't even think that's legal to sell a used mattress, but I don't know. Wait, it might not be legal. I don't think it is like, I don't think you can like people probably do it. It might not be legal for like mattress firms and like places like that. But I don't know if an individual seller like, you know why you deserve what you get. If you're going on and like buying somebody use rinky dink mattress and like they have love stains on there, like love stains, good f**king buy. Like, I don't know, tell you honestly. I'm like, You know what? You deserve love stained mattress. You deserve a love scene mattress. If you're if you're all in there and buying it? No, I've literally seen people before, like, do I saw this on Tik Tok, where people go into hotels and lift up like sheets and mattress covers and look at mattresses in hotels. Have you ever seen those? Wait, what? Like where people it is on Tik Tok? I'll have to find the TikToks talks, but like where people go in and go to different hotels and stuff and lift up sheets on mattresses and like, look at the mattress and like, what's on there? And it's literally freaky. Oh, it makes me like, never want to stay at a hotel again. Meanwhile, I'm booking my next vacation just in case I bring my own sheets. I'm like with my own. She's way. People actually do do that like travel with their own cheap set. I mean, I don't blame them. I feel like that's. I don't know, Hotelbeds really freaked me out, I don't I when I go into a hotel, I want to see, I don't want to see one single stain. So are you one of those people that go in and like, lift it up and see if there's a stain? No, I don't, because I don't want to gross myself out like what I don't know won't hurt me. But now, the next time I go to a hotel, you will find me bringing my own sheets. Yes. Wait, OK. Can you send me photos and next time? I absolutely will. I know on our next coffee convos trip, I feel like Kristen should order us a black eye and Jess. No or no, I'm not interested in participating in that. Y'all can do it. And I don't want any parts. We're going to do it and then we're not going to tell you about it. And then we're going to post about it and be like, this was specifically Carlsbad, OK, that she slept on. So you'll either participate and I'll bully you participating, or you ought to see how gross that it actually is after the fact. OK, wait. OK. So speaking of sleepovers, Kristen and I were talking this morning about just like relationships and relationships. When you have kids and you're like, you're trying to actually have a relationship. And like what sleepovers look like and what you do with a with a lover? Yeah, obviously, like you said, with a lover and in non child time, like, what does that look like? Because I know that our stuff looks very differently. I don't have sleepovers with Jackson at home, just not something that I do. It's not something that suburban dad does, either. And so I would love to hear your input on it. And because I don't think that like really, there's there's any really wrong or right. It's just I was married to Will for so long, and that's the only person that Jackson has ever known me to be with. And so, you know, like, I just want to make sure that it's 100 percent right and solid before we start doing that, because then that's going to be also like a memory that he has in his memory bank, you know? Yeah. I also would not really love to do sleepovers. I have enough time with 50 50 in the summer to do kind of whatever I want on my off weeks. But just the way that this played out with hot neighbor being my neighbor and sharing a driveway and things like they were sped up. Mm hmm. But I would say on a normal basis, like I remember only doing things like when I had just Isaac, when Isaac was just at his dad's, so then I could have my own time. And then, you know what I mean? Like, there's just no real reason for me to do what I want to do on the days that I have my kids. Well, and then I was like thinking back to. And you got to remember I was 19 years old when I started dating will and was like fresh. I was still in my parent's house, like still living under their roof my first year of college. So that first year was kind of interesting because I had curfew like I had to be home by 11:00 o'clock because you got to remember I still had siblings who were six and seven years younger than me in the house. And plus Grayson, who was basically a baby at that time. So I couldn't just be coming in all hours of the night. At least that's what the excuse that my parents gave me. Who the hell knows? It was probably just like a tactic, just so it sounded good, but like had a curfew at 11:00. So I was bustin at the seams to be able to bust out of that house. And I was like, I'm going to have my own place and I'm going to be like doing my own thing. And so obviously neither of us had a child at that time. But, you know, our parents both collectively like, did not want us doing sleepovers, anything like that before we got married and we would like sneak around, have sleepovers, all the business. But then it was interesting because when Will's older brother started dating someone, his parents didn't have that same mindset or the same rules, and they were for lack of better words like shacking up s**t while we were chastised for doing it right. And so my parents were not about that s**t, period. They were like, Absolutely not. Like, you need to be married before doing this. And now I look at my situation at thirty two and I'm like, I can do basically whatever I want to do because I pay my own bills. I do like all my own things. I have my own house, have my own car. It makes me think of that song like my own, how she got her own house. She got her own car. You know which one I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Post Malone also has a song, and he says. He talks about having his own like we both got a house, but it's different, we both got a car, but it's different. We both got teeth, but it's different, you know, different. It's just different. And so now it's weird because I have my own everything stuff. Yep, and I'm more reserved now at thirty two than I was at 19. But also, I feel like between the two of us, we have three kids to think about. So I think that that's probably what's changed. Maybe my mindset, OK, I think that's fair. I think that's a good assumption. Like a good observation. Do you feel like your kids like think anything of it? No, they don't. But you know what? I was thinking about that because people are probably going to say stuff like after this episode releases, which is, you know, whatever. But I feel like because your house is just like such an open door policy that like people just like come and go friends, whatever they did, just like had to mute myself to sneeze. Oh no, you're OK. It's just like such an open door policy with like friends and people are like always over at your house. I feel like that's not mine. It's their dads, too like hobbies the same way. And so is Joe. Like they all, like I say, came home not that long ago, and he's like, Oh, grandma lives with us now at his dad's. And then yesterday he's like, Oh, and Uncle Ro is saying too. And it's like, So it's the same way with them, and Hobie is the same way. So I think when it's across all boards, they don't look at it any different now if it was just my house and not their dads. I also think they would be like, This is a little weird, right? They look like they might question it more. It's like consistently consistent anywhere they go. Yes. Yeah. This episode of Coffee Convos podcast is brought to you by Huggies Special Delivery Diapers. You guys know we have a lot in common, and one of those things, as you know, is that we're both moms, we're both boys moms, and we know that motherhood is such a special thing. We know how overwhelming but exciting it can feel to be a first time mom and truly an any time mom. These also make great gifts if someone that you love is having a baby welcoming a baby soon. The Special Delivery diapers are awesome. I always throw diapers and whenever I get a gift, even if I get something else, it's always something that I throw in and it's always Huggies. I absolutely love them. I've talked about it so many times about how I use this for Jackson and encourage my girlfriends to use this when they are looking for advice. We absolutely love Huggies, and their new line of special delivery diapers is their softest diaper. Yet they're made with 20 percent plant based materials by way and hypoallergenic, so they are extra soft on babies. Gentle skin taking care of newborn skin is super important. I know that Lux had very sensitive skin, and so did Jackson. But Huggies makes it easy with these diapers. They have 100 percent breathable cover, fast absorbing liner, stretchy back waistband and wetness indicator. So you know exactly what's going on with your baby. Make baby skin health a no brainer with Huggies special delivery diapers. You'll thank us later. Huggies we got you, baby. Learn more on Huggies dot com. All right, so what goes great with our vibes? How about a checking account with no monthly fees? Because that sounds really good to me. Like a cool breeze, Chime is offering a refreshing way to handle your money with no monthly fees, no maintenance fees or minimum balance fees. It's how banking should be, honestly, and when you need to access your money, you can do so. Fee free at more than sixty thousand in-network ATMs at many locations like most Walgreens, 7-Eleven and CVS, and you can also send money to anyone, even if they aren't on time. Fee free for you and no cash out fees for them. Chime No monthly fees. No vibe killing fees. Sign up for Chime Checking account. It only takes two minutes and doesn't affect your credit score. Get started at Chime.com/ combos that chime.com/ combos. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by and debit card issued by the bank or Stryde bank and a members. FDIC out-of-network ATM withdrawal fees apply except at Money Pass ATM and a 7-Eleven location, and at any all point or Visa Plus Alliance ATM. Other fees such as third party and cash deposit fees, may apply weight on a completely unrelated note. I want to play you this ticktalk. Don't we love how I just like get on tech talk and just fine. Like all of this life advice, it's like I literally tick tock. It's like the Bible and then tick talk for me. Here we go. You didn't text me. Well, I'm not going to text you. That mirroring can be strong if it's like, Hang on, I'm respecting myself. You're not giving me a lot. So I'm not going to give you a lot, which should be the case if we model first what we want to say and we find that consistently, they do not meet us there. I've struggled with that. Tell me why I've put out a lot of effort and nothing was reciprocated, and so I was like, Oh, OK, you're not, we're not putting in the same effort. I feel like when you're in a dating phase that you should put out what you get. Mm hmm. Right. Mm-Hmm. But then some people will say, well, take the high road and don't be so tit for tat and give a little bit more than what you're getting, which I also understand that perspective as well if you want something to progress. I will say early phases. One suburban dad and I started talking. You know, we would catch up, maybe like once, maybe twice a week, and I would wait for him to kind of reach out. And then I would be responsive to that, but I wasn't putting in extra effort to try to make anything happen. Right? Yeah. No, I'm also not. In the beginning, I'm I'm also not going to put it in like a ton of effort, like it has to be a mutual. We're catching up, you know, and it's like, I don't know. I don't know why I put it in the men's court, but I've always been that way too. Like, I'm not going to over like I will wait for them to reach out. And it's hard, like when you're an early phase of a relationship, it's like, OK, are they going to tax? Like, what day are they going to tax? And then when you have kids, it's like, OK, well, I know that he has kids and I have one. And so if he taxed and like, I'm not available, I don't want it to look like I'm never available. But then I also don't want it to look like that. I can always do something. It's like, he's the worst. I'm like, Dating is for the birds. No, it definitely is right. I mean, thank God I'm not dating anymore. Suburban dad schooled me on that this weekend. I don't know how to like, really refer to dating and like using the right words and whatever, because I don't like saying boyfriend like, it's weird. Well, I didn't know, like there was no apps or like, hardly. We had Facebook back when Wil and I started talking, so I didn't have any of that stuff. So I'm not well-versed on like the dating world. And so sometimes when we'll be in conversation, I'll be like, and you know, we're dating and he's like, No, like dating is where you go on dates with someone and then, you know, you're kind of like feeling each other out. And then like, you could be seeing you could be dating a couple of people. Yeah, OK. But that is a topic that we need to get into next week because we got to do foul play. But that's a big topic that I would love to cover because I want to know what people think about the dating world and like. If you should if you're trying to feel out of situation, is it OK to be like feeling out other situations? Maybe. I just like, look at dating very jaded because I didn't do it and haven't been a part of that world. But yeah, he was telling me he was like, Dating is where like, you go on some dates and then you decide, like if you're going to try to progress this dating phase into a relationship or whatever, like what we're in as a relationship. And I'm like, yeah, like obviously, I know that. But like sometimes I interchange dating in a relationship. But yeah, I was just like off on a long tangent. But I don't know. Like, do you feel like you are dating Elijah or you're in a relationship with Elijah? No, I'm absolutely not dating. So why is dating to find it? Dating is like feeling out a situation. You're going on date. And I I think depending on the conversations I had like you could, you could potentially be dating multiple people, filling out multiple situations and seeing which way it goes. You know what I mean? Like for until it becomes official with somebody, OK? But then I've never I've never actually dated. I always just jump into relationships, which is the toxic in me. And also, just like, probably not very good etiquette wise, but here we are. That's a perfect Segway into foul play. Awesome. Foul play. This is number one. Funny sex story. My husband and I have two kids and two dogs when we went to do the deed. We will. When we want to do the deed, we will set the kids up with snacks and the TV. We will lock her door to make sure they don't walk in mid-August thrust. One time we were going at it, and right before we both finished, my head hit the wall twice, making a knocking sound which caused the dogs to bark in the kids to scream. Needless to say, no one finished that taken around our rendezvous ended with us laughing, but us naked. I mean, that's a good relationship. If you can laugh about it instead of being frustrated. So you know you've got to get it in where where you can. And I understand that. I don't know. I don't know about the Getnet and when you can, because honestly, I feel like a good way to scar kids is for them to walk in on you. Like, that's a really good way. Like if you guys are signing up to traumatize your children for the rest of forever, let them walk in on you. But I don't think it's like a choice kill. There are better ways. Listen, I just, you know, sometimes you're just in the mood the middle of the day. No one's in the mood, middle of the day when their kids are screaming. I'm sorry, she said. They set them up with TV and snacks, which I feel like is a really good. That's a good set up right there. You're like, That's a good distraction. It is. It's a very good distraction. So I mean, I support it. Love that for them. OK, you're going to be the next one as well. OK, number two says, Hey, kill Lindsay and Kristen. I love when they address Kristen as well because she is like the silent partner of this podcast. Yeah. OK. So let me set the scene. I'm 26 now, but this was my freshman year of college second semester. Towards the end of my first semester of college, I had a traumatic situation happened where my intestines ruptured and I had an emergency surgery, ultimately being diagnosed with Crohn's disease. And she put in parentheses, affects your intestines, basically ulcers. And they only had half of mine, meaning extra s**t. Oh, my s**t came out extra quick. Oh, why do I have this soft diagnosing yourself? Keep reading. I'm interested. Anyway, OK? Anyways, second semester comes around. I'm healed, but still healing a bit. So one day I could not s**t and I was terrified because that's how it all started in the first place. So I decided to take one of my friend's laxatives. No, not my best decision. Well, nothing happened. So the next day I took another one again. Terrible f**king decision. I'm sitting in my second class of the day, and all of a sudden I get bubble guts, and all I can think of is, f**k, I'm literally going to squirt s**t out of my ass, right? She was like, OK, this, I think she's describing me. Did you write in to us? I didn't, but she must be my twin boy. She said, I'm coaching myself. You got this. It will go away. Oh yeah, f**king kay. This is not normal bubble guts. I do. I didn't want to be rude to the professor, but all of a sudden I had to f**king leave. Mind you, there's no bathroom in or near this lecture hall, and my dorm was far enough away to be an issue. I run out of the lecture hall and I'm calling asked my dorm. I mean, full on sprinting across campus. I didn't even know how I could spread it. Like Sprint, that would literally be me in my favorite tight jeans. They'd made my a*s look phenomenal. I get to my dorm hall. I live on the third floor, running up the stairs, skipping like four at a time around the corner, and it's just straight lava flow like f**king eruption in my pants. Keep in mind. My tight jeans that now have squish lava swamps swamp. At this point, I'm now waddling to the bathroom plate, praying there's no one in sight. I slam myself into the community bathroom, calling my friend to get her a*s up here and get me. But I'm taking them off and it's just f**king everywhere. It smells like hell, my friend shows up and she's a real one because she took my pants and washed them for me. Couldn't be me my thong? You might ask. I flushed it there, and there was one hundred percent people in there with me. f**k. Now the story, if you have any type of bowel condition, don't take laxative, especially just don't, she said. Actually, just don't take laxative at all. Love you guys so much. Thank you for reading and always being the healing and happy part of my day. Please feel free to use my name or don't up to you guys. No shame in my s**t game anymore. Oh my god. No. But that's literally how it was like. I understand this woman wholeheartedly because when I s**t my my pants outside of like near Bowen House, when I took the kids to dinner, it was just me and the kids, nobody else. And Bowen wasn't home at her mom's house. I had to go up to her mom's bathroom and I literally took my clothes off in the shower. But like, I had to throw those clothes away, there was no washing in, saving them. And it's just everywhere. And then you have to like, how do you get it out of the shower? It's literal. Hell, so I feel so, so bad for her. OK, first of all, only thing that I'm going to say on this is like, I am glad that I am full time constipated because I wanted to ask this question for a long time. Like, would you rather have this issue or be constipated? Most of the time, I would rather be constipated, I think. Yeah, that me too. But I don't know if everybody else is going to agree with this like some people or because they choose s**t. You can take a stool softener. That's not necessarily a laxative. Have you done this before? Yes. Did it work? I don't remember because I have so many s**t complications. Bless. God bless it. While I would love to know if you would rather be constipated or should your brains out outside of that, I just also wanted to remind you guys that we were nominated for American Influencer Award for Podcast of the Year, and voting is open until the end of the month. So you guys can go to our Instagram or Facebook page or Facebook group for more info. And just wanted to say thank you guys so much for taking a couple of seconds out of your day to vote for us. It really means a lot. Yes. And like we said before, this is a win to us regardless. So we really do appreciate you guys all for listening and just supporting us through all of our stuff. And if you guys have not followed us on our Coffee Convos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there and subscribe to us from any podcast app. And of course, if it's not updating on the app at four a.m. when some of you people are trying to listen out early, you can always find it on PodcastOne website. It's always there. First, I hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya ! I'm Lola Blunk and I'm Megan Elizabeth, and we are the hosts of Trust Me cults, extreme belief and the abuse of power right here on PodcastOne. Don't miss our interview with Michael Joanna from the Airborne Toxic event, so I'm on the porch. Phil comes home. These two men come up behind him and they have these like flesh covered nylons over their faces and they start beating them. And you can just hear him screaming on the street. And I'm hiding at this point and they say, Where's Michael Antone? They were coming together. Get new episodes of Trust Me on PodcastOne, Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
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