Order of Man

We are reclaiming what it means to be a man. Each week we interview the world's most successful men on the planet - elite athletes, warriors, New York Times Bestselling Authors, and world-class entrepreneurs - extract their hard-fought lessons and experiences and deliver them straight to you. Past guests include Jocko Willink, Tim Kennedy, Andy Frisella, Lewis Howes, Grant Cardone, Ryan Holiday, Ben Greenfield, Rich Roll, and so many more. If you're ready to level up your life as a man, this is the show for you.

LATEST EPISODE

FFN 078: Every Man Needs a Battle to Fight

As a lot of you already know, I interviewed Navy SEAL and New York...As a lot of you already know, I interviewed Navy SEAL and New York Times Bestselling author, Jocko Willink, earlier this week. One thing that he said that really stuck out to me was the difference between former military members who are able to maintain their discipline after the service and those who aren't. I have personally seen both. I've seen veterans who make a seamless transition into civilian life and I see those that really flounder and I've often wondered what the difference was as well. What Jocko said is that the difference between the two is whether or not they've found a new mission. During my time in the military, the mission was always very clear to me. We were instructed on the objective, given our marching orders, then left to carry them out. But, when you transition out of the military, there's no one to give you any marching orders and you're left on your own to figure it all out. What's interesting to me is that one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge (who, by the way, just agreed to come on the podcast) happens to be the author of one of my favorite quotes. He says, "Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, and adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue." I want to focus the conversation today on the first component of that quote, a battle to fight. Men are warriors. Not all warriors have to be battle proven in war but I do believe it's in our nature to look for problems, to be on the lookout for the enemy or, at a minimum, a threat to our livelihood and the people we have a responsibility for. I look around in society today and I see men who have no real sense of direction or purpose. I know you do to - maybe it's you. You look into their eyes and you can see that all the enthusiasm and excitement they may have once had is all but gone. I would argue it's because these men, as Jocko would say, have no mission or, as John Eldredge would say, they have no battle to fight. So today, I'm going to encourage you to pick a fight - to pick a battle. I don't mean a literal fight with someone or a group of people. I mean that I want you to take a look around at society and engage in a cause worth fighting for. This could be a career calling, a fitness journey, the family you're working to provide, protect, and preside for. I really don't care what it is but I do want to give you four steps to engaging in the fight of your life. As I talk about these four steps, I'm going to give you a lot of questions as opposed to answers. I can't decide what your battle is. You have to decide that for yourself and the best way for me to help you do that is to give you some questions to ponder and consider. IDENTIFY THE ENEMY The first step in picking a battle to fight is to talk a look around society and identify what you see as being wrong with the world. Write down everything that comes to mind. In a way, you're identifying the enemy. Not a literal enemy but the thing you're going to fight against. For men, 3 years ago, I saw that there was a real problem with the state of affairs for men. Like I mentioned before, I've seen too many men who have lost the spark of life and don't know where to turn. Couple that with the fact that society in general doesn't like or approve of masculinity (until they need men to do something) and it became painfully obvious that there was a problem. In many ways I set out to solve my own problems as I was one of the men to which I'm referring. What bothers you? What injustices do you see in the world? What problems do you have in your personal life? What could be better about this life? The answers to those questions will help you identify the battle you may have been born to fight. Remember, you're not limiting yourself here. You're just brainstorming. RECON Once, you've identified some problems with the world - the ones that are meaningful to you, you're probably going to find a common theme between them. There are probably a few that overlap or stand out to you. If that's the case, I'd recommend you start doing some reconnaissance. Who is already addressing this problem? What solutions are already available? How has this problem been addressed in the past? What gaps are there in the solution to this problem? When you start answering questions like these, you start giving yourself the power to do something about the problems you see with the world. BATTLE PLAN Once you've identified the enemy and you've done some recon regarding the battle already being wages and the gaps that need to be filled, you can start planning your battle. What solutions will you offer? How will you offer them? What assets do you need? What in your life do you need to improve in order to be the champion of this cause? Who do you need to know in order to bring the fight? Once you know the answers to these questions, you should then ask yourself, what is the next first step? ENGAGE You don't have to have this all mapped out. You just need to know what the next step is because the next step in your battle is to engage. Maybe it's to create a website or a podcast. Maybe you need to ask for a promotion at work or propose a project to your employer. Maybe you just need to start talking about some of this stuff on social media. I don't know what this looks like for you but you're going to feel if it's right only when you start engaging in the fight. It does no good to do all this planning without actually taking the fight to the enemy. I see too many men plan and strategize and think about what they want and then never do anything about it. I want you to take the next first step. Once you've done that, I want you to take the next first step. Over and over again. When you find yourself getting off track, adjust and keep driving. You're going to feel it. I know this isn't easy, especially if you feel like your soul has been dead for some time now but I can promise you that when you follow these steps and choose your battle your soul will come alive for the first time in years. You'll feel like you have a calling - a purpose again. You'll walk around with your head held high knowing that you're doing the work of a man. I know it's certainly been true for me. www.orderofman.com/FFN078 Please leave us a rating and review!   Show More

10:30 10/20/2017

Past Episodes

There is no shortage of motivational events, courses, seminars, quotes, and memes. Don't get me wrong, motivation has its purpose but discipline is a far greater asset on your path to accomplishing big things in your life. Where motivation falls short, discipline picks up the slack. Today, I'm joined by a man that needs no introduction, Jocko Willink, to talk about connecting future ambitions with present actions, why every man must find his mission, how to overcome fear and procrastination, and his mantra, "Discipline Equals Freedom." SHOW HIGHLIGHTS Why discipline equals freedom Key military tactics that translate into civilian life Anticipating the delayed results of discipline The pros and cons of focusing on strengths vs. weaknesses Where Jocko's discipline comes from How to connect your future ambitions with your present actions The importance of defining your path How to develop mental strength Why every man needs a mission The role of accountability when it comes to being more disciplined How to overcome procrastination Rasing kids to be strong and disciplined How to overcome your fear Where to start: mental preparation or physical action JOCKO WILLINK Gentlemen, I am stoked to introduce you to my return guest, Jocko Willink. I'm sure that you know Jocko but in case you've been living under a rock the past 4-5 years or so, let me introduce you to him. He is a Former Navy SEAL and commander of Task Unit Bruiser (the most decorated special forces unit of the Iraqi War), a recipient of the Bronze and Silver Star, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Blackbelt, a New York Times Bestselling author of three books, and arguably one of the most disciplined men on this planet. I, like you, have been following him ever since I ran across his book, Extreme Ownership, in Barnes & Noble and have been fortunate enough to develop a close enough relationship with him and his team that I when I heard he was coming out with a new book, Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual, I was able to get a message to him and get him back on the show. Gentlemen, strap in, get your notepads out, and get ready to tune into one of the most qualified men I know to talk about how discipline will give you the freedom you're after. Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/135 Website: http://orderofman.com
45:53 10/17/2017
In October of 2016, Todd Orr was hiking in the mountains of Montana when he spotted a grizzly bear. He made eye contact and the bear ran off with her cubs over a crest in the distance. Only a few minutes later, Todd turned around to find the bear charging towards him. He pulled out his bear spray, fired, then collapsed as he found himself in a life and death struggle against a grizzly bear. Not only did Todd survive, on his way back to his vehicle, he was attacked by the same bear again in a second life or death struggle. www.orderofman.com/FFN077 Please leave us a rating and review!
27:56 10/13/2017
At times, we tend to get into our own heads and become our own worst enemies. We often write off anyone who happens to disagree with us, puts us down in any way, and label them as "haters." But it's our natural tendency - especially as high achieving men - to be our harshest critics. It's valuable at times and drives us to do great things and, other times, it creates unnecessary barriers to our success. My guest today, Gary John Bishop, author of Unfu*ck Yourself joins me to talk about how to redefine yourself by becoming unrealistic, how to uncover the narratives we tell ourselves, the difference between knowing something and being aware of something, and how to get out of your head and into your life.? ?SHOW HIGHLIGHTS? How to get out of your head How to develop a no-nonsense approach to life The critical difference between affirmations and personal assertions Why self-help is inferior to self-development and growth How to uncover the narratives you tell yourself Understanding the study of Oncology and how it applies to your growth The difference between being wrong and being inaccurate How to become more present in your life The power of telling yourself you're an asshole Why we should not concern ourselves with the past and the future The difference between knowing something and being aware of something How to redefine yourself by being unrealistic How to interrupt the notion of who you already are? ? GARY JOHN BISHOP Gentlemen, my guest today is Gary John Bishop. He is a personal development expert and the author of Unfu*ck Yourself - which is a book I just picked up to read a couple weeks ago. In reading it, I can appreciate Gary's no-nonsense approach to human development, and high-powered mentoring. And, I knew right away I had to get him on the show. He's worked with top athletes and Fortune 500 executives in his personal development career. This guy is real. He's raw. He tells it like it is and pulls no punches which is exactly what we, as men, might just need in order to come to some realizations about our own lives, how to get out of our own heads, and out of our own way. Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/134 Website: http://orderofman.com
47:01 10/10/2017
Everywhere you turn you'll find another "motivational guru" attempting to inspire the masses to take action. If you're like me, you've attended conferences, purchased courses, and poured over endless quotes and memes in a feeble attempt to get motivated enough to do what you already know you should be doing. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing particularly wrong with motivation, other than it doesn't last. We've all left that conference feeling inspired only to get back into the grind and lose the excitement within 24-48 hours. Like a drug-user hooked on cocaine, we're constantly on the lookout for the next conference that promises to inspire, amaze, and motivate us yet again. We go. We spend the time, the energy, and the money. And, we even get motivated for another 24-48 hours, until our next fix is needed. And that's the problem. We become dependent when we seek motivation from outside sources. And those that host these conferences know that and bank on the fact that you'll have to come back next year. I'm not suggesting you don't attend these motivational conferences. I'm encouraging you to dig deeper than the surface-level B.S. that seems to be so prevalent in today's society. But rather than beat my chest and shout a catchy little tagline that "Motivation is B.S.", let me share five strategies you can start using today to become your own source of inspiration and, more importantly, action. PLANT YOUR FLAG We live in a world where everything is promised immediately. Through Amazon, you can be reading a book I recommend in the next couple minutes. We're promised immediate results from the latest fat-loss hack. Even podcast like this one allow us to listen to any subject on demand free from any need to wait for or on anyone. In most cases, this access to information, products, and services is a beautiful thing. The unintended consequence, however, is that our attention span and patience has been greatly diminished. That's too bad considering that your success in any area of life requires an insane amount of consistency over long periods of time. If you're looking for immediate results in your life, motivation might just cut it. But if you're interested in maintaining a healthy, wealthy, and successful life, you're going to have to wrap your head around taking action for a lifetime. BE A MAN OF YOUR WORD Planting your flag requires you to be a man of your word. If, for example, you've committed to working out 5 days a week, every day you miss makes you a liar - to put it bluntly. Sure, we can sugarcoat it and make excuses for why we missed our workouts but at the end of the day, you did not do what you said you would and that, by definition, makes you less than a man of your word. It's a good thing then that the idea of doing what you say you will is a skill set that can be learned. All it takes is effort and consistency. Even the smallest of task and the smallest of promises count. If you tell your wife you're going to take out the trash, take out the trash. If you tell your son you're going to play catch with him after school, play catch with him after school. If you tell a neighbor you'll be there to help him move, be there on time to help him move. Every time you fail to keep your word, a little piece of your soul dies. It's no wonder then why so many men seem to be miserable. They can't keep their promises to themselves, let alone to others. When you wake up early in the morning to work out, don't question whether or not you should. Question whether or not you're going to be a man of your word today. After all, the promises you make to yourself are the most important you can make. SYSTEMS AND PROCESSES Part of being a man of your word is about creating systems and processes to ensure you are. Let's use the workout example again. If you tell yourself you're going to work out in the morning, set your clothes out the night before, get your pre-workout drink ready, and know what your workout is going to be. These are three simple systems that will keep you on track when you don't want to be on track. Calendars, daily rituals, evening routines, task lists, electronic reminders, Field Notes journals, coaching, and masterminds are all examples of systems and processed you can implement to get your work done. REVIEW YOUR PROGRESS Out of all the systems we could talk about, I want to focus on the idea of reviewing your progress. Most men don't. We tend to identify the task, do it (or don't), then move right to the next task. This process of reviewing your actions, conversations, projects, interactions, and day is a critical component of diving deeper than simply being motivated. I learned the after-action review in the military which is a series of five questions you can ask yourself to review your work and get you pointed in the right direction every day. For the sake of time, I'm not going to share the questions but if you're interested, you can get a copy of the After-Action Review at www.orderofman.com/afteractionreview. DISCIPLINE TRUMPS MOTIVATION After all is said and done, the mantra that discipline trumps motivation has been a huge help for me. Motivation is external. Discipline is internal. We rely on outside sources when we seek after motivation. We depend on ourselves when we strive for discipline. This is what makes discipline so powerful. We simple decide that we're going to be disciplined rather than wait for the perfect set of variables to motivate and inspire. When you're struggling to get out of bed, or workout, or be consistent with the project at work or in school, remember and tell yourself, "discipline trumps motivation" or as Jocko would say, "Discipline equals freedom." Internalize it, get a bracelet that says it, tattoo it on your forehead if you have to but whatever you do life your life by the words, "discipline trumps motivation." This is not an overnight process, especially if you've been relying others to motivate you most of your life but remember to plant your flag, be a man of your word, develop systems and processes, review your progress, and live your life by the mantra, "discipline trumps motivation" and you'll never want - or need - for motivation again. www.orderofman.com/FFN076 Please leave us a rating and review!
12:41 10/6/2017
Every single one of has fallen a time or two in life. And, everyone of us knows a man who has failed to get back up from that fall. It's not an easy thing to overcome the wounds of failure, but if we want to thrive, it's a requirement. My guest today, Champion Muay Thai Fighter Chris Romulo, joins me to talk about finding the fight in us, the difference between ego and confidence, living by the mantra, "Fall seven times, stand up eight," and how to develop the fighter's mindset. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS * What is the "Champions Uprising" * The fight that changed everything for Chris * How to find your rhythm and flow in life * Why timing is critical * The importance of settling into life * How to change your mindset * How to find the fight in us * The difference between complacency and getting comfortable * How to overcome the pushback * How to develop of fighter's mindset * 7 factors of an uprising * The difference between ego and confidence * Living by the mantra, "Fall seven times, stand up eight"? CHRIS ROMULO Gentlemen, I am stoked to be introducing you to my guest today, Chris Romulo. You're going to hear how impressive this man is in my interview today but you're also going to hear the humility that has turned Chris into a champion multiple times over.?? Chris is a 6-time Muay Thai champion, and the author of his new book, Champions Uprising.??He is also a fighting coach and the owner of CROM fitness where he teaches men and boys the how to fight, develop grit and determination, and the fighter's mindset both inside the ring and out. Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/133 Website: http://orderofman.com
42:43 10/3/2017
I typically like to frame these discussions in a positive perspective but I do think it's important that we occasionally look at the other side. Most people are more than willing to talk about what will make a man a success and, while I agree that's an important subject to cover, just as important is the discussion of what is going to keep you from accomplishing what you want. So today, in an attempt to keep you from falling into some of the same traps this humble man has fallen into a time or two, I'll share with you 6 reasons why men fail and, in doing so, help you find a new path to thriving in what we call the Quadrants (yourself, your relationships, your health, and your wealth). PRIDE COMES BEFORE THE FALL The number one reason most men fail, and the reason I fail from time to time is pride. I've talked about it before but we have been led to believe that if you don't have the answer, you're an idiot or less of a man. It's unfortunate that's the case because it drives us to go at it alone, to figure out things the hard way, and to struggle, when all we really have to do is reach out to someone who may know a few things more than we do. The solution is simple: recognize you don't have it all figured out and ask for help from someone who does. Want to get in shape? Ask someone what you should do to get in shape. Want a promotion? Ask someone to help you with the project that will help you secure your promotion. Want to shore up the relationship with your wife? Ask someone who has a great relationship. The solution, again, is ask. Humble yourself and reach out YOU DON'T HAVE AN INFORMATION PROBLEM; YOU HAVE A DISCIPLINE PROBLEM When I started Order of Man in early 2015, I knew there wasn't a lot of new information I could share with men. But what I recognized is that information isn't really the problem. You have access to more information in the palm of your hand than the most educated minds had a hundred years ago. Information isn't the problem. Action (or lack thereof) is. And, more specifically, sustained action. Motivation doesn't cut it. Accountability doesn't cut it. The only thing that will yield the results your after is consistent action towards your objective. When that alarm goes off in the wee hours of the morning, it's time to fight. It's time to engage. It's time to battle. All you need is to DECIDE. FEAR IS YOUR ENEMY We've all heard the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real). I disagree. Fear is real. It's designed to keep you alive. Running from the things that scare you, or worse, pretending it doesn't exist will not get you closer to your goal. Facing the enemy that is fear will. When you're scared, acknowledge it. Recognize it for what it is and use the fear to equip and arm yourself with the tools, mindset, skill set, and resources to look it in the eye and drive on. It's likely that the thing you fear the most won't kill you. It's simply going to make you feel a little uncomfortable. Be okay with that. Discomfort is your friend, fear is your enemy. ACTING FOR ACCEPTANCE In my experience, one of the biggest dangers we fall into is trying to be accepted by others. The way we run our marriages, our businesses, our workouts, and our lives is so centered around what other people think. I know personally there have been times in my life where I've wondered whose life am I living. The answer is someone else's. We're constantly bombarded by stimuli from magazines and books, to this podcast and mainstream media. And, we believe that the way one person does it is the way we should do it. Add to that the environment of political correctness in which we live and you're likely to withhold the way you really feel or alter your message or actions based on the perceived criticism you'll receive from others. If you truly want to thrive, you'll work on overcoming what other people think about you. EXCUSES ARE LIES Regardless of how you choose to paint it, the excuses you craft are nothing more than cleverly disguised lies. And, what's worse is you've been lying to yourself for so long that you're actually starting to believe your own B.S. When something doesn't go according to plan, I'd encourage you to say, "This didn't go well because I did or didn't ____________." Sure, there may be other people that have a part to play in the failure of your objective but there's nothing you can do about another human being - only yourself. SITTING THE SIDELINES The excuses you tell yourself lead into the last point I want to make with you today. Because you've been feeding yourself lies, it's caused you to stop in your tracks. It's caused you to question your ability to drive on and maybe even your desire to do so. The reason a lot of men fail is because they're so concerned with all the other reasons I shared with you today at the expense of the very action that will help them succeed in the first place. If you want to thrive, you need to take action. You're probably going to mess up. You're probably going to fall short. People are probably going to mock you. So what? You can fail at your objective so no one sees you misstep or you can struggle for a little while until you're able to achieve what it is you're after. Let's recap these again: pride comes before the fall, you don't have an information problem; you have an action problem, fear is your enemy, acting for acceptance, excuses are lies, and sitting the sideline. I know these factors aren't easy to overcome. I struggle against them every day. But the times when I've been the happiest, most successful, and most content in my life is when I've recognized what I'm against and overcome them anyways. www.orderofman.com/FFN075 Please leave us a rating and review!
11:36 9/29/2017
Someone asked me several weeks ago, "If you could have one super power, what would it be?" To which I responded, "The ability to read people's minds." As it turns out one doesn't need to be a superhero in order to possess the ability to understand what other people are thinking and, to a degree, use that knowledge to produce desired outcomes. My guest today, the founder of Ellipsis Behavior Laboratories and the author of The Ellipses Manuel, joins me to talk about reading body language and thoughts, becoming a human lie detector, how to activate trust in others, and how to decode and decipher human behavior. CHASE HUGHES Chase Hughes (@thechasehughes) is a Navy veteran and an author and speaker on behavior analysis, body language and behavior engineering. He founded Ellipsis Behavior Laboratories in 2011 and has since developed the Behavioral Table of Elements which, after pouring over this, is probably the most extensive behavioral analysis tool I've ever seen. Chase is also the creator of other life-saving systems such as 'The Hostile Hospital' and 'Tactical Psychology'. And, if that's not enough, Chase is also in the process of developing new programs for the US Government. He volunteers his skills by training members of anti-human trafficking teams around the world and has published two books on human behavior and over 29 articles and papers on behavior and behavior analysis. Chase Hughes is here today to talk about the concepts from his new book, The Ellipsis Manual: Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior. Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/132 Website: http://orderofman.com
43:14 9/26/2017
What exactly is "The Drift?" The Drift is the natural tendency we have as men to coast, and in a way, take our hands off the steering wheel of life and allow ourselves to be controlled and put ourselves at the mercy of all that life offers. The fact is that there are forces at work against us that keep us from accomplishing what we truly want in life and, unless, we're actively engaged in the process of intentionally living our lives, it's very easy for us to get off course. Today, I'm going to share with you why this happens but, more importantly, 3 measures you can take to ensure you maintain the course you are meant to maintain. www.orderofman.com/FFN074 www.orderofman.com
10:46 9/22/2017
Everywhere you turn, you'll find men living what I call the sedated life. Like robots on an assembly line, these men wake up at the same time, eat the same food for breakfast, drive to work the same way every day, do the same menial tasks for 8-9 hours, drive home, kiss the wife and kids, eat dinner, watch some TV, go to bed, and do it all over again. My guest today, former Navy SEAL and wingsuit base-jumper Andy Stumpf is the exact opposite of that. And, while we can't all be Navy SEALs, jump of really high mountains and structures, and travel the distance of 18 miles in a wingsuit, we can all take some calculated risks that make us feel alive. Today we talk about finding something worth fighting for, eliminating emotions in the decision-making process, why people fail in the application of their goals, and how to live life on the edge.?? ANDY STUMPF Andy Stumpf (@andystumpf77) is a former Navy SEAL with SEAL Team Five and later joining the most elite counter-terrorism unit in the military, SEAL Team Six.? He is also 5.11 and Black Rifle Coffee Company sponsored athlete, and has an affinity for jumping off really tall mountains and perfectly good airplanes. As impressive as that sounds, he refers to himself as a "professional gravity enthusiast" and rightfully so. He's completed wingsuit jumps lasting more that 18 miles at speeds of 161 mph. He is the recipient of 5 Bronze Star Medals (four with valor), the Purple Heart, the Joint Service Commendation Medal, the Navy and Marine Corp Commendation Medal with Valor, three Navy and Marine Corp Achievement Medals, and two Combat Action Ribbons. In other words, the man is a genuine Bad-A and today's he's here to talk about living life on the edge. Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/131 Website: http://orderofman.com
43:01 9/19/2017

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