Ya'll Must've Forgot about VOLK | UFC 298 Volkanovski vs Topuria PICKS & BREAKDOWN | Episode 372

Transcript

Hey. In this episode, TJ Miller's back, and, we've been in a lot of interesting discussions with TJ. Also, one of my favorite from the Jayhawks, Gary Louris joins us with his wife, Stephanie Stephenson as well. We'll talk music with them. We'll do all that right after this. From Carolla one Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guest today, comedian TJ Miller. And from the Jayhawks, Gary Louris with his wife, Stephanie c Stephenson. And now just wondering when the Department of Government Efficiency is gonna take a look at this scourge of unrinsed coffee mugs. Adam Carolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got to get on the charger. Get it on. So excited to welcome TJ Miller back to this studio. Radio voice. I mean, it's it's so good. And and your, your sort of music intro is so good that you got guys in the booth just dancing and air drumming. Lot of enthusiasm around here. But it's because of you. But now I Not for you. I love that. Lot of enthusiasm around here. I'm low key. You know me, TJ. I do know you. TJ. I ask a lot of the hard hitting questions. I'm buckled up. I will tell people that the crowd sorcerer, there's a tour with TJ Miller, who's a very funny stand up comedian who maybe people don't think of as a stand up comedian per se because he's such a fine comedic actor. But I'm here to tell you he's a very good stand up comedian. I've seen him do stand up in the flesh way more than once, and there's shows coming up all over the place. And what you can do is go to TJ Miller does oh my god. I know. How do I swag this? I don't know. Full dates and available at oh, and there's a comedy album as well. Smooth peanut butter? There's peanut butter and there's hot sauce. Even the name of the album is smooth peanut butter. Right. Oh, sorry. But there is smooth. And there's real peanut butter. Yeah. And chunky. Alright. So you wanna ask me questions. I got a funny story for you. I wanna hear it. I wanna say, have you ever run into that? Do you ever find yourself saying, I'm not just a radio personality, huge radio personality, but I'm also a stand up. Do you ever you know me from television. Uh-huh. Right? But I'm I'm a stand up comic. That's construction worker and stand up comic, that's where my passion lies. I I have found that there's really no way to convince people of anything, so I rarely say anything. I just sort of hope they weren't gonna talk about politics, Adam. So I can't tell people I do stand up. I do tell people I do stand up, but I expect them to kinda go, like, oh, okay. Right? Because you are not only a powerful stand up comic, but a very unique one. I don't think that. Every every time I've seen you and you graciously, invited me on to your show, which was largely improvised. But every time I see you do stand up, it is just very unique. There's there's no one out there doing this. You're an excellent improviser. And so I I was interested, you know. Do you have people going, what? Adam, you do stand up? Everybody wants to put you in whatever category they know you from. So that's just kinda how it works. So Mine mine is a homosexual club promoter. Yeah. I thought you do kinda cultivate that look. You're not helping your cause. No. Certainly not. But I do wanna tell you a funny story in the, Carolla lore in the self esteem the low self esteem Carolla lore department, which, sadly, started with my grandma and got passed down to my mom, and maybe my sister got a dusting of it too. Genetics. Yeah. So my sister's never seen me do stand up to the best of my knowledge. Really? Never ever? Well, not previously before that show we did Yeah. At the Cook a Barrel Lounge. She came and she said, oh, that was so and great Adam Corle story. I'll tell it after years. So she said so she's never seen me do stand up before or I don't know what. I don't think she's seen me do a lot of performing, on TV or not. So then she came to the show. Is that because of is she gonna watch this or no? Or I listen to this? I have no idea. Is it does that have to do with envy or jealousy that you're a celebrity and she's not? I no. You don't think so? Really? I never think that way. So what's the impetus behind her not having ever seen you? My family's very do your own thing and, you know, my mom and dad never had cable the whole time I was on cable, and they just didn't know what I did per se. And really, that's how we grew up. They didn't get cable to see their son on television? No. I actually at some because that explains a lot. Oh, at some point, I had two shows. I was one of the few people maybe who had I had a nightly show on MTV No. I know. For an hour. Yeah. And then I had another hour long weekly show on on Comedy Central simultaneously at the same time. And they wouldn't really spring, spring the $6.99 to get To be fair to my mom, it was more like $9.99 at the time, but, no, she would not. She she told me she has no reason why she should get cable. I got a bachelor's in psychology. My mother is a psychologist. Mhmm. And, this really might explain a lot. So my sister's funny. So so my sister comes to the show. I think it's the first time she's seen me do stand up. And, we're backstage at the at the in the green room bar area, and she's standing there. And god bless TJ Miller. He comes up to us, and I introduce my sister to TJ. And then TJ proceeds to flatter me really like I've never been flattered before, you know, that this guy's an inspiration, and we all watched him growing up. But Is it flattery if it's genuine? I I don't know. But it was it felt good, but it was a lot of flattery. A lot of laying it on thick in front of my sister, which is difficult because she's a Carolla, and it's tough for us to hear good things about others in in the family. You know? You mentioned as you walked away. Yeah. So so TJ lays it on strong. Well, I mean, this stuff you you dream of hearing, hearing, the the inspiration, and the the reason I'm doing it is because of you and so on and so forth. Then about about a week later, I'm just talking to my sister on the phone. And, she goes and we're talking about something else. You know? And she goes, what's up with that TJ Miller? And I go, I don't know. He's a nice guy. I like TJ. Yeah. But what was that about backstage? I go, he was what? I I you know, I had a drink. I wasn't thinking about it. I go, when when when you met him? Yeah. I mean, what was that about? The whole big slathering it on. That's what she said. Yeah. And I go, I don't know. I think I think he's a fan. And she goes, well, come on. What did he want? And I go, I I don't I don't think he want yeah. But, you know, it's like Hollywood thing with, like, something. You know? And I go, no. I I don't really run-in his circles. I don't produce films. Like, I can't really do anything for TJ, but I think he's a fan. I think he just met, and she's like, okay. But what? Really? Really? What was he talking about? I don't mean to be rude, but my first reaction was, what can you get me? Well, that was her. I mean, I can't imagine. Well, her thing is, obviously, he doesn't feel that way. So what was going on back there? Yeah. That's And and I was like, oh, I think he feels that way. And he was just expressing himself. And she she was like, give me a break. You know? And I was like, oh, this is interesting because it's being processed through the Carolla, like, weird low self esteem filter that she was like, look. That guy's a big star. There's no way he thinks that way about you. So what is what's the angle? It was her thing. And I was like, as I was thinking, I was like, oh, this keeps getting a little less flattering because Because she's diminishing it. She's making it like that guy wouldn't really feel that way. And but then I realized that's just where we where we come from. Well, I'm trying to license your opening music. So that's sort of where I'm after. Talk to my friend, Dickie, from the Bosstones. You know what's interesting is that so that night, here's my story. I it was a new club. I really never performed there. Yeah. I did not know where the light came from. Oh, you were on for a while. For a while, it's a and, I mean, I was on for so long because I just didn't know they turn on a neon sign, and that's the light. I did not know that. There is no universal light. There is no universal light. And it it's weird. It'd be like, what if there was no universal stoplight? And we're just, like, rolling in intersections, like, trying to interpret what was going on. Sign on a house or Some of them are like chick in the back with the iPhone flashlight. It should it should all be that. Or all be something. But either way, it's gotta be uniform so you recognize on state. Right. It could all be neon, you know, bird. That that's what it is. It's a neon sign that's depicting a bird. So I went on long enough. This is actually, it's one of the most embarrassing things that's happened to me in stand up because not only did I go on too long, you mentioned it on stage in a funny way and not insulting. You said that, I must have a sunburn from how long the light was on. I'm definitely That's fun. I'm definitely not gonna forget that. I forgot. But I'm not gonna My sister asked me who wrote that, Jeff, because it was funny. It was me. And, right. Right. She said, well, obviously, you didn't write that. But I was just so embarrassed, and I don't get embarrassed. So then we saw each other backstage, and your sister introduced herself. And she might have said, hey. I you know, this is my first time seeing my brother. Actually, I don't think she did, but she said, oh, it's so funny. And then you came over, and I thought, this is the moment to tell someone close to Adam about how I feel about Adam Carolla. And so it was dual purpose because I knew that flattering you in front of your sister would embarrass you to the point where you walked away, which you did. Okay. Good. But, you know and I I told Kate. I told my wife. I told Kate. I said, I I think I smoothed it out because I just told his sister, you know, how important he is in my life. But you ended up confusing her because she wanna know what the angle was. But there was no there was no angle. I knew I knew that it would be yeah. I knew the but the thing is is that and this is a very strange singular, you know, friendship working relationship that we have, which is that my buddy, CJ Sullivan, who's a hilarious comic, so funny, and a professional sportsbook gambler, he, he told me after one of our interviews, he goes, well, you know, Carolla is your stern. That's what he said. Wow. And I thought I took a beat. I I thought that was one of the nicest compliments to you, for sure. Mhmm. But it defined, you know, our relationship. Because I will come in here and sort of bare my soul, talk about what I got in a lot of trouble for a story that I told about Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. Which is now seems like history is catching up to some of the things you said. Now I wanna say this first and foremost before it gets picked up in India daily. Ryan Reynolds and I are friends now, and he and I had a phone conversation. And I think he's a really good friend to me. And so that's that's where I land there. The Internet as a whole feels differently. The entirety of the Internet feels differently. Then about Ryan than Yes. Than you do. But let's let's put it this way. I met Ryan once when I worked on Two Guys, A Girl on a Pizza Place as myself. I used to do sitcoms as Adam Guerrilla, which was funny. I love it. But, I got along with him swimmingly. But also, you do have to realize that that was Ryan Reynolds before Ryan Reynolds was Ryan Reynolds. Well, before people. Yes. But he came across as a a genuine guy down to earth and so on and so forth. But he was 25 or something. Who who knows? But I I would say I appreciate you saying in a half as if he was a toddler. He's a very nice guy to me. I do not know that he was half that two and a half. I know at some point, we dropped that. And we also dropped the, going on. Like, sometimes people go like, well, my daughter's 15 going on 16. And then we get the confusing one. My daughter's 15 going on 45. Yeah. I love that one. That's pissed off that. My favorite joke is, not I mean, it's early he's in his, early seventies, late sixties. Mhmm. Yeah. Late sixties, early fifties. I'm always confused by the do the math stuff. Work ethic got in the way of your personal relationships, both sort of platonic and romantic? I would say no, but everyone else would probably say yes. That's what I would drives I asked Mark Wahlberg once. Mhmm. I said, what drives your work ethic? Right? Mhmm. And he kind of gave me an answer, but it wasn't really what was underlying. I said, yeah. Yeah. But what drives that? Right? I'll give the same answer Mark gives, Jesus Christ, our lord and savior. Jesus said god. Oh, sorry. I hate you what I meant. No. He he said, I want to this is really admirable. I wanna show people that someone with my background can make it to this point. So it's it's really to inspire people from a similar, background or with similar challenges. What drives your work ethic? Because you are f**king crazy. I mean, you have 10 radio shows. You've you've you've brought everybody in to do this. When you knew that you were getting pushed out of CBS radio, right, you you said, well, next week, I'm gonna have my own this I I'm gonna have my own thing called the podcast. Yeah. And then you exploded that into a network. What what would what drives that? Okay. Well, let me give you, like, a kinda multipart answer. Really? Well, yeah. One I mean, not everything is spiritual. Some of it's, like, financial. Like, you may have things you enjoy. I enjoy cars. I like race cars. You know? Race cars are expensive. It's expensive to race those race cars. I bought a better car than you could ever get. What do you got? Ford GT two thousand seventeen thirty eighth off the line. What's the color combo? My father is so brilliant. He also has a 02/2005, and he did white with blue racing stripes, and then the 2017 was blue with white racing stripes. So it's the Ford racing colors. Yeah. Exactly. But in inverse, you know? Yeah. Both. But not not the gulf light blue, the Ford darker Yeah. Yeah. Blue with the white that's a better look. American that's American race color. Yeah. I really I feel so strongly that once they did that car, it really proved that Ferrari and BMW like, America can make the best race car because we can do everything that Ferrari does in terms of the handling. You know? You wanna have a smooth, but we do cars with more power. And that's what Ford is for me is just not muscle car, but power. Yeah. Well, the o five has a supercharged v eight, and the 17 has a twin turbocharged v six, and maybe a 3.5 and maybe, like, a five liter. It came around. It's a completely different car. Yeah. Yeah. But you have both, which is good. And your dad now how did your dad, who Get back to car? Sort of an inventor, tinkerer, teacher? Lawyer. Wait. Lawyer They're literally the same thing. No. Did he did he go in his garage and and mess around with stuff or just lawyer straight out? Lawyer but but but with cars. So And he and he would he would I wouldn't say he's a mechanic. He wouldn't but he knows everything about not only the car, but the history of the car, what when this changed, the taillights, all the things that you Uh-huh. Know everything about. But, so he ordered those cars for you? No. So he and these are I got the 2017 for him, but the o five is his. And he actually came to me recently, and said we're gonna, you know, get we're gonna sell the cars, but the o five, we'd like to bequeath to you and Kate because, it's the only car that's increased you know, it's appreciating. The '2 thousand seventeen's appreciating as well. Well, we sold it. Okay. Well, now it's appreciating someone else's garage. Well, it's but they're probably not driving it because every mile you put on their car, you lose money. Yeah. And it's too expensive to own with the insurance. I mean, you Well, it's not a pragmatic endeavor. I will I'll give it I'll give it that. And it's only meant to be on a track. It's not you're gonna drive that around during you could drive it to a car show or something. Yeah. But it's that's not a I know it's Three seventeen is gone, but the original o five is there. Which is a better car. Yeah. I'm not an expert in those. Yep. That's true. It's there. And I think if you're good at racing, right, even if you're good at driving a car, but if you're good at racing, which I am a I went to Bondurant School of Driving. You did. I did. Bob Bondurant. Bob Bondurant. If if you're good at racing, then a stick shift is always gonna put you in the lead compared to paddle shifters is what I think. Well, you're not technically right in that paddle shifting is just faster and and more efficient. But You're not as connected to the car. No. I'm saying if you're out for spirited driving and you're certainly old school, you wanna stick shift. I mean, that's just that's just how it goes. The interesting I did a race with a car that had a sequential shift where you just went ding ding ding. That's fine. Do you race cars? Yes. Yes. Alright. So circling back to Mark Wahlberg Well, I moved you moved on quickly from that. No. I you moved on. I said I like cars, and I like to race cars, and that's an expensive endeavor. That's number one. Number one is just kinda pragmatic expenses. Number one. Number two is I worked so many real jobs and s**t jobs and labor jobs and grunt jobs for so long that being on stage holding a light beer, telling jokes, cracking wise, it just doesn't really feel like comedy to me or work, I should say, to me. And then the third is, a sort of wasted potential. I spent a lot of time in my younger days just sort of hanging around, walking in a circle, kinda going, I don't know what to do. And it was like it was wasted time. And then later on, when I got into the business, I was like, okay. Now I gotta make some docs and write some books. Like, I need to prove that I was alive. And I spent from zero to 30 just sort of hanging out. So there's all the above is what it is. Is there anything that you're afraid of talking about on your show? Or are you, like, self professed? I'll talk about all of it. I I don't talk about certain things, but it's not that I'm afraid to talk about them, I guess. I guess, is is that would be how I would answer it. Is it about reverence for those subjects, or you just don't want the backlash that? I'm I tend to, like I'm trying to think. I mean, some stuff is just sort of personal stuff. Some stuff is sort of like, I just don't wanna pile on somebody that everyone's already sort of making fun of kinda thing. But in general, no. I don't I don't have things. I don't I don't have a no fly list per se. So it's not you don't have a roster of things that you don't talk about. I've never I've never liked people that like, I don't think you should sidle up to a microphone and then go, I'm not gonna answer that question. It's like, well, then why are you in front of a microphone? Are there ways to answer questions that are, like, more delicate? Which I'm not an expert in. Yeah. But also, it's only my my my head on it is it has to be accurate. You cannot make stuff up. And and and you can't make up stuff that makes jumbles look the same in that respect. That's right. You it has to be as it was or at least your experience. Is there anything that you are afraid of that you explicitly say, I'm afraid of that? Because you don't strike me as a guy who's really fearful of anything, to tell you the truth. No. But it's not it's not out of bravery. It's just kind of medium to low self esteem. I just do stuff, and I don't really think about it. But I I don't have anxiety, and I don't have things that I'm afraid of. But there are things I won't do. For instance, when I lived in Malibu back when I was allowed to live in Malibu, I would see guys on 10 speeds just motoring down PCH all the time. And I would see them swing out into the lane because there's a Winnebago and a guy cooking meth there on PCH and swing back in and cars going by, you know, 50 miles an hour. And then you'd see all these white tires planted in the dirt, and these are the sixty people that were killed on PCH in the last ten minutes. The dead flowers. And and I was like, I will happily climb into a race car, and I'll put a fire suit on and a helmet and a neck restraint system or whatever. I'll I'll climb into that cage, and I'll do a race. I'm not getting on a 10 speed and going down PCH. So that leads to And I would if you said, Adam, come on. Let's just go let's go to, let let's go to Moon Shadows if it wasn't burned to the ground, and I bring it I'm bringing my mountain bike. Like, I would do it, but, like, I wouldn't do it every day because I would assume I was gonna get hit by a car at some point. So that leads me actually perfectly to, are you afraid of death? Are you a guy that thinks about death? Are you a guy that doesn't really care? Are you a guy that when you do think about it, it sort of swallows your time? I I've never articulated this, but I now realize that I think about death like I now think about long cross country flights, which is I used to hate long cross country flights. Like, I'd go, Jesus Christ. What are we doing up here? That comes out of my mind. Favorite answer I've ever heard in my life. And now I'm like, I am looking so forward to this f**king six hours of just being left alone and drinking miniature bottles of vodka and not thinking about anything. I'm so I love the idea of being out of communication and not being canceled, not dealing with it. So what used to be a burden is now sweet relief. And now I'm starting to realize, I think I'm putting death in the same category as the flight to Newark. So two things on that. One, I did a flight, a long flight, and the Wi Fi was broken, and it was the greatest gift. I was exactly like you said. I love it. Out of touch, just can watch a movie, not feel like I'm, you know, copping out on work. If I was a flight attendant, TJ Miller Mhmm. I would do it. I would look at it as like a fiduciary duty, like a cosmic fiduciary duty if I work for Qantas and we're flying to Australia and all these f**king beat up business people. Like, I can get a lot done in thirteen hours. I just go I just get up there and I go, sorry. The Wi Fi's out. Yeah. And everyone and then Qantas is a really weird reference in terms of, airlines. I was thinking of a long flight. Yeah. You're right about that. So I went with Qantas, and then my coworker would go they'd go, but the Wi Fi's not out. And I'd go, let them f**king relax. Yeah. Let them doing them a favor. Relax. Doing them a favor. And I don't think they could come back with anything. I had a joke. I still consider it my maybe my best joke. But I said that, I said, you know, you can have a great night out. You just have a great night. You go to the party. Everything works out. You're, you know, this girl, she likes it, all of it. But the best part of the night is always when you put your head to the pillow and you're going to sleep. That's the best. And I say, no. There's only one thing better than that. It's if right as you're going to sleep right as you're going to sleep, you realize, oh my god. I don't have to work tomorrow. Right. Right? I don't have to work tomorrow. Yeah. That's the best, isn't it? The best. That's what death is. Death is the longest, greatest sleep, and you don't have to work tomorrow. So same, I think, you know, same deal, maybe different perspectives, but that's how I sort of see it is instead of loss of life, it's your don't have to deal with all of the everything that you're talking about, all the stuff that makes you go, here we go again. Yeah. It's kinda interesting because the antithesis of that was my mom and my dad who had no material possessions so that when they left, they didn't miss anything. Because there is a thing where I would think, oh, man. I'm never gonna go to Laguna Seca ever again and do that corkscrew. You know? Like, I would have that thought. It's quite a contrast, your dad, my dad. My my dad passed, and, he left me a Tony Bennett CD. Great. It's a great CD, though. You just need to buy a CD player. I will happily trade that for your o five four g t if you like. Oh my god. Yeah. It's a great CD. I don't know if it's that great. Which do you what do you think is more what do you like more? And what do you think is more meaningful? Sex or entertaining? Entertaining as in being up on stage with your microphone or having people in the moment. I listen. I love Comedy. I could say comedy or, you know, whatever this is considered. For me, my greatest moments are when I will run into people after the show taking pictures or whatever, and the there's two stories I just love. I love the I used to work driving a bakery truck, and I'd work graveyard, and I used to listen to you and doctor Pru, and I just you kept me company. And I loved it. I love that story because I relate because I used to be alone on a construction site, and all I have is the radio, like, as my friend. And the other story I I love is when people go like, you know, I got divorced during COVID. I was going through, like, a really tough part a really tough time. And I listened to you, and you brought a smile on my face, and, like, you put things in perspective. Like, I'm like, that's the best. Making people laugh or, like, hey, man show guy, that's great, but that's the best. Like, that's when when you can penetrate, speaking of sex. Double on top. Yeah. And really get really create a memory and have someone go, god. You you really got me through this tough time. Or I don't have to be tough time. I they can just go, I used to be bored as s**t working this job in the middle of the night, and you guys made me laugh. You first of all, that's very altruistic of you. Second of all I never care. Second of all, who does that for you? When have when when have you been in a tough time in your life? Because that's my favorite thing. It's when somebody says, I was the lowest point. These are dark days, and I gotta tell you, I threw on this movie or your stand up, and I just I was howling. I was cracking up, and it really took me out of it. Who is that for you? I, well, Mark Wahlberg said Jesus Christ, so I'm gonna just I well, first off, it's a lot of different people. Like like, when I was young and I worked construction, it was morning radio. You know, I would listen to Mark and Brian on KLOS, and then I would listen to Kevin and Bean on KROC, and then I ended up on KROC on the Kevin and Bean Show. Must have been something that, you know, drew you to doing that. I would listen, and I would kinda think to myself, I think I could do this. I think I could do this. Like, that's what I would think. And then I would think you're never gonna do this. But then I would think, but I could, but you're never going to, was kind of my dueling thoughts while I was sitting on my pickup truck in traffic going to Chatsworth to, you know, swing a hammer. But I loved listening to any talk radio like a like a voice. Just and and by the way, I would listen to the bible answer man, and I'm an atheist. And and I would listen to Dennis Prager doing religion on the line and stuff like that. And and and I would people go like, what do you care? Like, you're not into the Bible or into religion? You're not in any of that. I'd go, well, maybe I'm not, but maybe I could be. Like, I wanna hear what they have I wanna hear what they have to say. I don't I don't wanna hear what I have to say or what people that just agree with me have to say. I wanna hear what other people have to say. And that's that's very nihilistic of you. No. Really. And then okay. So this is a two parter. Hey. This is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. BetOnline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting in 02/2025. Whether you're a seasoned fan or a first time bettor, BetOnline is your ultimate game day companion. With the largest selection of odds on everything from NBA, college basketball, exclusive in game live betting. BetOnline is your ultimate game day companion. And if you like the, NHL, you like a little hockey or the UFC, If that's your thing, BetOnline is your number one sports betting source. From every three pointer to every hat trick, BetOnline has you covered with the odds, stats, and more for every single game, every play, and every win. It is BetOnline. The game starts here. Homes.com knows that when it comes to home shopping, it's never just about the house or condo. It's about the home. And what makes a home is more than just a house or property. It's the location. It's the neighborhood. If you have kids, it's also schools, nearby parks, transportation options, all the above. That's why Homes dot com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in-depth information they need to find the right home. And when I say in-depth, I'm talking about deep That's right. Each listing features comprehensive information about the neighborhood complete with a video guide. They also have details about local schools with test scores, state rankings, and student to teacher ratio. They even have an agent directory with the sales history of each agent. So when it comes to finding a home, not just a house, this is everything you need to know all in one place. Homes.com. Homes Com. We've done your homework. Do you talk to yourself when you're alone? Do you sort of say, oh, hey. You know, do you think out loud? Do you, you know, admonish yourself or think through things? And then second part, which I'm sure you've been asked, is do you see a therapist? Mhmm. I have I'm not currently seeing a therapist, but I have seen therapists over the years. But I'm starting as I get older, I'm starting to really realize that you could go to therapy. And then sometimes people go to therapy to say they're going to therapy and not a lot changes. I also come from a family that has a lot of therapy and zero change in their life, like, talk to good therapy story. Sort of like the equivalent of saying, yeah. I got a personal trainer. Yeah. But you never work out. Yeah. But I got a trainer. And I as a matter of fact, I gotta meet Jeff Tuesday at 9AM. It's Owen. It's a Jeff with a g e o f f. That's right. And it's like, yeah. But if you don't work out, then what are you doing? I have a trainer. You know? Some of it can become that, like, it satiates. As I get older, I I kinda realize that hikes in nature, classical music, you know, I just went to it's interesting. So I just I I this morning, I went to Mark Aragas' house, attorney Mark. I left doctor Drew's house, and I I just I sorta said to Drew, I I'm not I I don't I know you're magnanimous and generous, but I, you know, I I'm I'm overstaying my welcome at your house. Like, once once we get to the three week mark, I I think I got I gotta move on. I'm a rambling guy. And, so I talked to Mark Geragos, and I and I said, I got nowhere to go. You know? And he said, well, I got a a guest house, and it's nice. And it's on my property. And, I'd be happy if you came in and stayed here. And I said, okay. So I'll I'll come stay in your guest house. Because Drew, I'm staying in his house. And, there's enough square footage, and Drew likes me. And as well, I I like them, but it's just a certain point, you just feel like I've I've been in your house for, like, three weeks. Now I should move on. So I went to Garrickus' house this morning, and he showed me the the guest house, and he said, stay as long as you want. I'm out of town all the time. Whatever. And I said, thanks. And he came gave me the code and the thing and the that. And then at some point, he he walked me over across his palatial estate, and and he showed me the swimming pool. And he said, it's freezing. And he said, you can get in every morning. And I said, I will. And then then he left, and I thought, I'm getting in that g*****n pool. Now what I realized is I prob one, forget about me. One would get a lot more if one committed to doing that cold plunge every morning, if one committed to going on a hike in nature and listening to classical music, if one committed to sort of eating right, if one committed to shutting their phone off when they get when they went to bed or not bringing it into the workplace or whatever that thing is, you could probably get more done than you could in a therapeutic setting if in fact you weren't, you know, brutally molested repeatedly as a youngster. Which for some people, that is therapy. I I I wonder, what is what is a habit that you have that would be the hardest to break? And it doesn't have to be a negative, you know, smoking or something. You know? What what is a habit that you have looking at Instagram right before you go to bed? Something like that. My habit is probably, profiling everybody relentlessly and just kinda knowing who they are and where where they are and profiling. Do that? How would you do that? I just like, I'll come in here, and, we'll be doing a show. And the show will be with this guy, and he's like, he's a conservative who's on Daily Wire. He's, works with, he works with, Ben Shapiro, and he's got a doc out about some some, you know, conservative thing thing or something. And I and I'll think, alright. Don't check on him. He'll be here he'll be here half hour early. And then at some point, they'll go, mister Mix, the white rapper, is supposed to be coming on. I'll go go go find that guy. Make sure he's coming in. And they'll go, he's coming in? I'll go, get check. Check. Check. And then at some point, someone will come back to me and I'll go, he says he's sick. So he's not coming in. And I go, okay. Because I figured out that white rappers need to be checked on, and conservative documentarians don't need to be checked on in terms of whether they're gonna be here on time. So you're you're trying to I profile everybody. So you're trying to, you know, build categories. Yes. And say this well, actually, what you're talking about really is stereotyping. Yeah. Yeah. Stereotyping and profiling are the same thing, except for profiling is a more accurate way to do it because it happens to be correct. But listen. Well, it's it's what police use also. Yes. Every time I pull up to a red light and I have a choice between can I go in the right lane or left lane, I profile the car in front of me? If I see a bunch of stuffed animals in the back window, I go into the next lane. If I can't see the person's head over their headrest, I go into the next lane. If I it it I profile everyone's car and them. I mean, it's okay to just say that if they're Asian or a woman. It's hard to tell Is it is that okay or no? Do you It's hard to tell Asian from behind. How It really is. Well, gender. But I and I really mean this. Do you find that your sort of worldview, let's call it that, do you feel that there's a lot of opposition against your beliefs, your paradigm, for lack of a less pretentious word? I don't really have beliefs. I just have sort of pragmatic thoughts. And then there is a lot of pushback against pragmatic thoughts that I have. But that's not really beliefs. Unfair to me? Yeah. People are stupid, and they're kinda angry, and they don't generally, they don't know what the f**k they're talking about, and they just push back because they push back. Profiling again. So they just push back. So, you know, during COVID, everyone you know, I was pummeled relentlessly during COVID, but I didn't care because I just knew what was going on. So it's kind of a weird thing. So I knew what was going on. They didn't know what was going on. They wanted to cudgel me into thinking like them. That's an impossibility. And I don't have any problem with not being popular and or being attacked, but I have a problem with not being accurate. So Yeah. Which and you mentioned that before. And I as another yeah. This has really been on my mind, like, on the way here, which is, are there any media personalities, let's call them, that you feel that you feel like you're grouped with, right, that you think that's totally unfair? I am nothing like Alex Jones, whatever. You know? It could be anybody. I am not people are saying, I'm like this Fox News anchor, or I am the Rachel Maddow of the Carolla podcast. Yeah. Her hair is shorter than mine. But, yeah, I give it to you. Very much. But, yeah, is is there anybody that you kinda go, I can't believe I'm I can't believe I'm in the same sentence as this person? You will get lumped into groups sort of depending on your stances on basic Yeah. That's what I mean. Issues. You know? So if you're gonna take a stance during COVID, then you're gonna be lumped into all groups that have fans. Uh-huh. Yeah. I mean, generally, I don't first off, I'm I'm ignorant. Like, I really don't know what's going on that much. I just sort of go about my business. I I don't really have strong opinions on other people's opinions and what they think of me, and I would assume they don't think of me. So I really don't know. Is there anybody Mhmm. That you watch or pay attention to with regards to, you know, you saying, I don't really I go about my own business. Is there any particular person or, you know, individual that you do sort of go, I I should check-in and see what this person is talking about. Their opinion is interesting to me. Oh, yeah. I there's smart people out there So who would that be? Such as guys like Ben Shapiro. And Ben Shapiro's kind of even handed. He supports Trump. But, like, the other day when Trump was blaming Ukraine for the Russian war. Ben Shapiro was like, Trump's wrong. That's not Zelensky's fault. What's his case? So so so, like, I I will listen to smart people and figure out what it is they're saying about a subject. Now keep in mind, I decide who the smart people are, but those smart people were are pretty accurate with most subjects. You're the only person that would say, I follow a couple of them that are I think you're pretty smart, but I determined that they were smart. Well, because the people who are listening may determine that Joy Reid is smart. You know what I mean? Or somebody who's or AOC is smart. They may decide that buffoons are smart in their world. It's basically a dog eating a can of c**ktail weenies. Like, I can't tell that dog it's not the greatest thing ever. Well, and I I think that as a positive nihilist, I feel feel like if that's the meaning they wanna create, then that's fantastic. I'm gonna say something, and I just wanna hear your opinion on it. K? And I'm only saying this because I know that my wife, Kate, will not listen to this podcast. Okay. Tucker Carlson for president. Mhmm. So Where do you land on that? I was talking to, Ben Shapiro a couple of weeks ago. I was out in, Boca Raton, and I did his show. I did my show. And, Tucker's name came up, and Ben had some choice words for for about Tucker. Not all positive. And I I realized I like Tucker personally, and he's got he's wise, and he's sharp. And I don't know him, so there's no I do know him. There's no angle as your sister would say. I brought him to The Comedy Store once. If you could picture Tucker Carlson at The Comedy Store in the sunset he wore a hat down low and collar popped. He did not wanna be recognized. Marc Marinson probably would've stabbed him with a butter knife or something. But alright. If he has a butter knife. I I was assuming it'd be on the table at the comedy store. Yeah. You're right. I know he's acting there. Butter knife. Alright. But hold on. I like Tucker, and I find him interesting. And and I have had great dialogues with him on his show, on my show, and so on and so forth. And he's also funny. Like, he's got a good sense of humor. I think he is funny. He is. Yeah. I do realize that some of his thoughts don't stop with where mine stop in a sort of pragmatic world, that they keep going into conspiracy and further. You know? And I don't know all of them. Like, when I was talking to Ben, Ben was like, you know, I think Tucker's mooring has come loose a little bit, and he's drifting further away. Come loose is something that I don't hear very often outside of the bedroom. But, I like him. And I would say, like, you know, anything but Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are just constant talkers and race baiters, like, somebody with some thoughts. But, and I haven't talked to Tucker in a little bit, but I would say he's probably a little more extreme than a lot of folks on the right would be. But it also doesn't mean he's wrong, because a lot of the stuff that we thought was wild conspiracy s**t is kinda turned out to come to fruition. Well, I I I feel like when I I've only brought this up to Kate a couple of times, but I feel like when I bring it up to her, I see the most exacting example of the bulls**t that is I've subscribed to the left, and I've been told these people are not okay. Mhmm. And so I'm not even gonna discuss them. The way that I bring it up is if it's between Trump and Tucker Carlson, I feel like Tucker Carlson, as you said, has some points. You know? I I think he speaks for a portion of the population that not a lot of people are speaking to. But more interesting to me is, he does. Yes. He'll go a little bit further. Not Alex Jones. But he'll go a little bit further because he wants the clickbait. He wants the whatever. Well, he He is a little better. A Carolla. He's a Provocateur. But are you that? Are you that? I don't. You never push to get just a little bit more reaction? Never? No. I wish I I wish Is that true? I did, honestly. No one will shake their head yes or no. Oh, no. You can ask them. Okay. Well, let's let's let's do the ground rules. Okay. I have strong opinions about this stuff. I have strong opinions about, but I never weighed into Barack Obama's gay. There's a guy says he got a blowjob from Barack. I I don't do that. I go, I hated his policy when he said you didn't earn that. If you own a business, you didn't do that yourself. I go, f**k that guy. He's destructive and he's a race hustler. But I never get into the, you know, Michelle Obama's a dude world. I also don't really like it in general getting into, you know, deep cut, salacious, fire starter stuff. I mean, you came in here, got some downloads and some traction because you said something about Ryan Reynolds, but that's not something I loaded you up with or brought up or anything like that. I don't recall. To to that though, or continue on your ground rules. I don't have I don't have any you know, if I wanted to join that bandwagon, I would probably say some s**t about Kimmel that made some noise, for instance. And and I I never do because he's a good friend, and I and I don't care about I wouldn't trade that for the noise or the hit or the or trending or whatever that is. And I don't really do it with with people. But I I do get my honest opinion about things. Off of that, you describe yourself as a provocateur. Is that right? No. Tucker Carlson's a provocateur. I am not. I but I'll talk about anything. Like, Kevin Smith's a douche. But the the the question is, it sounds like you say, I'm not gonna make something up or go into a place just to get the clicks. Right? But I'm asking, do you hit a point with an opinion and you go, I'm just gonna push this a little bit further to get people sort of riled up. And then, what I think is interesting is CJ Sullivan told me, he said, you know, Adam Kroll is your stern. I think because you won't go and do that, like you said about Kimmel. Right? But you did straightforward say to me and I'm not I mean, I'm here. I love love, being on all of the shows that you do, any and all. But you did say, who's a real douchebag? Tell me who the worst person is that you've talked that you've worked with in Hollywood. Mhmm. Now some people said that's just a blatant trap. He's trying to get you to say something that's gonna come back around, and it and Kate even said this. How is that gonna be helpful to anybody except for Adam Grohl? Not gonna be helpful. But I but I I that's sort of what I'm asking is if you won't do it, do you sort of seek it out in terms of not giving somebody enough rope to hang themselves. I'm not saying that. I will do it. I mean, I've done it. I've told people when I met Dane Cook, he was a douchebag. And when I met Jay Moore, he was a douchebag. And now they've worked it out and humbled it up, and they're nice. That's what I feel about Ryan. Yeah. Guys now. Right? Now that he's a douchebag, we're like yeah. And and Kevin Smith is a douchebag. He completely f**ked me out of $500,000. Like, I I'll I'll tell but but by the way, they had to have done it, You know? And then people go Right. It's accurate. Look. If I was telling you the story at the top of the show about my sister, but it never happened, that would make me kind of a dick. And if I embellished it, it would still make me kind of a dick. So you don't know. Had that comp well, you were there for part a of the conversation, which is heaping praise on me, and then I was there for part b, which is as I discussed it. No. I will not embellish. So but on the other hand, if if if somebody said, where's your dog? And one of my friends got drunk and ran it over on purpose, I wouldn't go died of natural causes. I'd go Jeff with a g, my former personal trainer got drunk and ran it over on purpose. And then they'd go and then at some point, Jeff with a g would come up to me and go, what the f**k? And I'd go, I'm just reporting what happened. I've I've had this discussion a million times. You shouldn't have got drunk and tried to run over my dog and killed my dog. You that that's on you. Me reporting it doesn't mean I'm talking s**t. Right. Accuracy is important enough that you'll sort of divulge. So do you tell little white lies? No. No. Do not Never? No. It's just sort of no. It's sort of like my my Never. I've said this You hold on. No. No. You're headed to a restaurant. Oh, for two women? f**k. Yeah. All the all day. You're headed to a restaurant. Yeah. They you're gonna be late. You call. You wouldn't be open to saying, you know, the traffic is crazy and but it's really just you're late. Yeah. Do you I mean, I'm talking about those white lies. Okay. So there is a kind of professional white lie. Right? There's a professional. It's a good way of putting it. Which is you've been drinking tonight, son? I had one beer, officer. Okay. That's a white that could very well be a white lie. So there's there's those kinds of lies. The professional white lie is like a thing where you're supposed to do such and such a show, and then you realize the day before the whole day just got misbooked or whatever. Yeah. And then so you say to the person, Adam, it turns out, is traveling that day. Can we rebook? You know, I'm not traveling that day. You tell them something other than we screwed up or Adam's Adam's doing something else. You know? There's a there's a professional white lie, which, by the way, I I appreciate. I I remember one time many, many years ago. I'm looking at you, Dawson, because you gotta find out the, cast member of Baywatch, the sensible one, the one with the short haircut. Every bit as pretty and vivacious and everything else as everyone else, as Pam Anderson and the rest. She just had short brown hair, and so she was considered the sensible one. And years oh, god. I can't think of her name. She runs marathons. Okay. We'll figure her out. Very attractive. And years ago, she was she was doing, Loveline. I don't original cast member. Someone wrote Alexandra Paul. Yes. That's her. Stephanie Holden is I'm not sure who, but Alexander Paul is Alexander Paul. She looks very sensible. She's very sensible. Very pragmatic. Part of the original cast. Right? I bet she I if you look her up, she's amazingly fit. Ran, she ran marathons. And by the way, kept her hair short. She want long hair. She'd be out of this world. But anyway, I was gonna I got in a big argument with her once, and you tell me what you think of this. She she was slated to do love line on k rock or syndicated radio show. Right? And I was like, oh, good. We could talk to the Baywatch. Yeah. And then maybe an hour before the show or shortly before the show started at ten, we got a call from her representation. And the message from her representation was, Alexandra Paul cannot make it in tonight. She's training for a marathon, and she's gotta get up early. And I'm like, well, that's not sick or blew your knee out. That's just I gotta get up. I'm I'm doing something. I there's something more important. It's just waking up early. And by the way, not training for the Olympics. Just, you know, she wants to run a marathon. Now you can see if she's ran multiple marathons, but she had a personal goal to run a marathon. And, like, I maybe that's fine. But it wasn't for team America or because Al Qaeda had, abducted her daughter, and she wasn't gonna get her back unless she could break four hours or anything. It was just she was doing this. So she just basically called in and went, I'm not coming in because I got s**t to do tomorrow. Now hold on. You tell me. She came in, I don't know, a year later. And, with her and I got into a big argument. And I said, listen. I've been there. You've been there. I get it. Professional courtesy is is she's got the flu. She's sorry she can't make it. They're gonna reschedule. You gave us, I got other s**t to do the next day Yeah. And I went to sleep. And her thing was, I told you the truth. Right. And my thing is is it it's like you saying to a chick, like, I I'm sorry. I don't wanna date you again because you're too fat. And you go, and I told you the truth. And it's like, just say I'm I'm gay or I'm seeing somebody else. Accuracy is important, but sometimes you need a white lie. Right. She ran the Boston Marathon. I do I do not She did the Hawaiian Iron Mountain. I do not have to go to the bathroom, but my, my wife is very sick. Okay. Alright. I'll I'll I'll cover. Number one or number two? Number one. One. Okay. Alright. Number one wife? What is he talking about now? Alexander Paul ran the two thousand Boston Marathon. Okay. That's what makes sense. Did the Hawaiian Ironman in '97. Ironwoman, she did. She did the Fiji swim, so she's in she's in great shape. And and it attracts. She was training. She was training. But I don't know. I don't know if you guys feel like I feel, which is I gotta get up early the next day because I gotta do other stuff. Alright. Make less noise. Would you please? I gotta do, get the door, please, which I'm gonna fix the pneumatic clutch. Don't push on it. But when it closes, don't let it kachunk. Remind me. I'll oh, well, you did let it kachunk even though you're standing holding the door, and I was telling you not to do it. Okay. Well, I don't know if we're gonna be able to fix that one. We'll edit that. We'll dig that out. We'll edit it in post. But when you're standing by the door and I'm going, don't let it kachunk and you got your hand on the handle, that's that's your golden that's your window. You know, later on when you're at home. Uh-oh. Here goes the door again. Can Byron get it? Can he get it before I gotta work that that pneumatic closer out because it's been a while. My wife does have an, it seems, an autoimmune. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. I got it. So Alexander Paul told me she had better things to do the next day and she's not coming in. I argue a professional courtesy lie at that point is is father, she lied. I told her that to her face when she came in a year later, and she argued she told me the truth. And what's wrong with the truth? Well, what's wrong with the truth is that in this instance, specifically Mhmm. Is that it was sort of hurtful. She sort of was saying and a white lie, I think the most acceptable times for a little white lie is so that you protect the person from feeling like they don't matter. Right? That's the that's the restaurant line. There's lots of lying in that department. You see, here's alright. You wanna kinda give my with the way my worldview. I love it. Alright. Worldview. All I f**king came I just wanna ask you questions. Worldview. If you're a beautiful woman with long hair and you show me a picture of Dorothy Hamill from 1976 and say, I think I'm going to get this haircut, I would say, don't do it. You're much more attractive with your long hair that goes past your shoulders. Do you you don't like short hair? I'm just saying, if you ask me, I would say do not get that Dorothy Hamill haircut from 1976. Do not get a bob. You're much better with the long hair. If you got your haircut and you got the Dorothy Hamill, and then I saw you and you said, I just got the Dorothy Hamill. What do you think? I'd say most women can't pull off that short hair, but you, my dear, look fantastic. Yeah. Again, sort of saying you do matter instead of saying, that was a mistake. That is bulls**t, but you already got the haircut. Pre haircut, I would not be as kind. I would say don't do it. Wow. So you'll switch it up, but is that to protect the person's feelings? Kind of. Right? Yeah. I'm always I'm always trying to figure out what people are gonna whatever. Like, I'll give you an example that's that people run into a lot. And I do this all the time. But you tell me. How are you? Some people, women especially, but, like, some people will show up and they'll be wearing a new jacket or a new sweater or new whatever. And then let's just say it's a jacket. And you go, hey, man. That's a nice jacket. And they go, it's brand new, And guess how much I paid for it? Now what I think to myself is, I wanna say I wanna say $59. But if you say, no. It's a hundred and $2, you're gonna feel real bad. So I go, $500. And they go, nope. Hundred and 89. Yeah. And I go, okay. Now you feel good. But I don't think it was I if you if it was the price is right, and that was a showcase, I woulda guessed another guess. But I went high because I knew what you're getting at I love this. And you wanted to feel good about yourself. But if we're just talking about accuracy Yeah. I woulda gone a lot lower, but I don't care. So I just went a million dollars. Yeah. And you want 2.7. I I love that you brought this up because what I'll do is I'll do that according to how I feel about the person. Yeah. And sometimes it pisses me off. They go, how much do you think I pay for this jacket? Yeah. What do you think? Can you imagine? Yes. Yes. Yes. Go on. Guess how much I paid for this jacket. Guess. And if I don't like the person, I'll say, I don't know, $29. Mhmm. Now it's hundred and $20. But if I like the person, I'll do the same as you. I don't know. It's a great jacket. Is that a $1,200 jacket? They go, no. I got it for $580. And in my mind, I'm like, you're a f**king idiot. That's what I'm doing. But, you know, you do that because yeah. And, also, sometimes I'll do it because I don't think you should ever do that. There are a couple things I don't think people should ever do. One, guess how much I paid for this? Shouldn't do that. And the other one that I really hate is, you don't remember you don't remember my name? Oh, I it's right. It was coming out of my mouth. Coming out of my mouth. I will say to people who clearly probably know my name, I will say, hey. I'm TJ. I, you know, I don't know if we met before or I think we met. I do this all the time. You know, I think we've ran into each other before. Anyway, I'm TJ. That that's what you do. We're we're famous. We don't have to do that, but I learned that Paul Rudd did that. He goes, hey. I'm Paul. I was like, well, he doesn't have to. And I just cannot stand when somebody what? You don't remember two years ago? Yeah. We passed each other in the hall. You don't what's my name? They'll do that sometimes. What's my name? It's it's drunken chick s**t. I've had it happen a million times. I don't I don't wanna I don't wanna tell you. I get violently angry. I it drives me nuts. I go, you remember me? I go, I I meet so many people. You know, you don't remember me. People. I meet so many people. You don't I go, I don't f**king know who you are. Just get the f**k out of my face or tell me your name. And why I don't know why this is good for you. It's not good. I'm the one you don't I don't know who you are. So that's on you. If I don't really feel like I'm gonna like this person, I'll just say, I guess you're not really that memorable. Right? Which is just a really rude thing to say, but it's more rude to say, you don't remember a name? Tell me my name. I I never Okay. How about this? You introduce yourself. I'll introduce myself. It's fine. I constantly go up to people, and I go, I'm sorry. Like, on the plane, especially. Mhmm. I'm so sorry. Give me your name one more time. That's fine to say, you know. But lately, I have and this is not BS. But lately, I've been telling people I have a brain injury. So I I don't remember your name, which is true. I don't remember the time that we, you know I I thought this was my first appearance. Well, welcome. How'd that do in the booth? Zero? Nothing. Nope. Alright. Thumbs up is not a laugh. We you know? Again the name of my podcast. Not a provocateur, but, you know, SNL, fiftieth, Ryan, and Blake. But you didn't bring it up. You didn't say, you know, Tucker Carlson for president. Where where do you stand that? I like Tucker, and I would vote for him over many, many people. But then if you said, well, what about JD Vance? I'd go, oh. And if someone said, well, what about Megyn Kelly or or something? I'd go, oh, kinda like Megyn Kelly. Yeah. I mean, it kind of short hair. Who who who are Yum. Yum. But a lot of people made a big deal about Ryan and Blake Lively. I thought it was funny, by the way. I didn't see it. How about that? Oh, you didn't see it? No. Oh, well, then Now what? You can watch it. That's how it works. Oh, f**k. Kenny's already got it queued up. Of course. I I'll say again and again. Bonnie, hold on. We'll just watch. Alright. I think question. Oh, hi. Ryan Reynolds. Hi. Hey. Hey. Hello. Come on. So funny. Great. Why? What have you heard? Funny. Subtle funny. Now he took a lot of s**t for it, but I was like, it's kinda funny and self deprecating to me. So I I don't think that was the whole clip, but that was the Yeah. It was the The gist? The gist of it. Yes. Gist with a g. Jeff with a g. I I I will say over and over again, and I've always said this, Ryan Reynolds is so f**king funny. He is so funny. He's one of the best improvisers I've ever come across in my entire life. And he's, especially, as of late, been a really, really good friend to me. But I think, you know, you look at that and it's like, that's really kind of putting yourself out there. And they obviously had a conversation where they go, well, is there a funny way to kind of deal with this? And and I think there is. And we've only met, Kate and I met Blake once. She was nothing but sweet to, Kate. And I I just I hate the media. Mhmm. And there's a period after that. And I don't think anybody should be dragged by the media. I don't think it's fair. I think it's not true for the f**king almost more than most part. And I just I don't think it's healthy. I think it's weird to watch America just pile on to this thing. But I think Ryan is somebody who is so funny that I went to watch him. He's so watchable. I feel the same way about Anna Farris. Yeah. And I I think that's a that was a good way of them handling it. But when I see something like that, I'm more like, why do they have to f**king do that? Why is the Twitter mob coming after them in such a crazy way? But, you know, I mean, they kind of engaged in it a little bit as we know. Mhmm. And so I don't know, you know, what is better to well, what do you think? Is it better to do that SNL appearance? And what have you heard? And he's funny and I love yeah. He's really understated. I think that's what's crazy about him is he can do super broad stuff or he can do super understated stuff. What is better? To do that? To sort of address it head on or just to ignore it? You have to know that when you do that stuff, people are gonna talk about it. Yeah. But anytime you can be self deprecating, I'm in. I I love self deprecating, and I'm I'm a fan of that. Now if I was just publicist, I may have said, you know, let sleeping dogs lie. But as a viewer, I just go, good for you. Just get out there. Are you self deprecating? Do you consider that one of your strengths comedically? I would consider myself self deprecating, but I don't In the case of your sister, she is deprecating. She's just deprecating. Deprecating to others. She's shotgun deprecating. Yeah. I, I don't try to do it one way or the other. There's stuff I'm good at, and I'll tell you I'm good at it. And then there's stuff I'm bad at, and I'll tell you I'm bad at it. So I don't I don't and I don't need by the way, I don't like undue self deprecation. Like like like, I'll give you an example. Like, remember when remember there'd be, like remember Letterman back in the day? Yeah. And Letterman's up there, and he's got some guests. And the guest has a line of handbags or something. And then Letterman would be like, how much would that handbag set you back? And the chick would go, it's $950. And he'd go, woah. It's a little rich for my like, Dave, you made $31,000,000 last year in your contract. It's not too rich for your f**king blood. You have a $30,000,000 contract. So stop pretending like you couldn't afford a handbag that's under a thousand dollars. I don't like that s**t at all. Yeah. And I think but it's his responsibility to be relatable a little bit, especially in that that I he's not relatable because he's on TV, and there's a theater with his name on it. So he's not relatable. I liked Ellen DeGeneres did the special relatable. Mhmm. This was and I thought she did a great thing by saying, I I can't relate to any of you. I have a watch that's worth more than your house or whatever. That's what I want people to do. Like, when people go, this politician doesn't know how much a gallon of milk costs. He go, I yeah. You're right. I don't. Because I'm in f**king at The Hague Yeah. Talking to lawyers all day about war crimes and s**t, and I got a b***h who picks up the milk for me. So no. And by the way, you don't want me knowing how much a carton of milk cost. I'm f**king making big money moves up here. You don't want me to live in the suburbs with in Tulsa. You want me to be a person who goes live in DC. Why can't OJ move back to the hood? Do you, Adam Carolla, ever feel like you can't get away from yourself? Do you ever go, ugh, I wish I could live outside of this prison that is me? No. But I'll consider that after this show. No. I don't have the same horrible thoughts that everyone has about themselves. I'm fine being alone. I'm fine on stage in front of people, or I'm fine doing a podcast. I don't Do you think that you could do almost a monastic life. Like, you could just be on your own and entertain yourself and feel good. So I'm saying none of this. No podcast. No speaking to anybody. Not not really around many people. Maybe there is a little bit of this right now, you know, because you're famous enough that I would assume that there's some solitude related to that. I I like listen. My my greatest joy in life is five or six dudes. I really enjoy coming over here and watching football and drinking beers on a Sunday when the NFL season's in full swing. That's that's what I that's what I enjoy. Why is that? Do you like to check out? Do you like sort of the simple things in life? Because you mentioned construction a lot. Yeah. I I I like basic simple stuff. You know? My my idea of a good time is going to a steakhouse, not going to a dining experience where they set the menu for you and everything. Oh my god. I agree. Alright. He's just a steak and potatoes thing. Yes. I got it. Do you consider yourself an intellectual? No. Really? Well, I consider myself smarter than everybody and a better thinker than everybody, but not an intellectual by any stretch of the magazine. Dandine. Oh my god. The tour, by by the way. That is the dichotomy that is Adam Carolla. Crowdsourcer. Well, until I'm proven wrong. Dates all over the place. And where should we go to find all your dates? T j miller does not have a website.com. Available there is my, Hot sauce. Hot sauce. Delicious hot sauce. I've had it all. Incredible, peanut butter. Do the peanut butter and cherry. Oh my god. Unbelievable. Cherry chocolate with real dried cherries, milk chocolate, and honey roasted peanuts. Dark chocolate coconut, that's for the ladies. Mhmm. And then, my favorite toffee crispy with toffee, milk chocolate, and rice krispies. Yeah. I'm all over the country. I love it. I I said to my wife recently, I said, if I could tour more, I would. I if I could do every single weekend, I would. And she didn't really give much of a any resistance. I know. She probably should've stepped up. Alright. Let's figure out how to do that. But I love touring. I love the the whole thing. And, yeah, really excited to continue doing stand up. I think like you, it's like once you get on that stage, it feels, this is so stupid, but it it kinda feels like home. You feel it's okay. Here we go. Alright. And we'll be right back with Gary Lewis, you know from the Jayhawks. And I believe it's my Stephanie's joining us as well. We'll do that right after this. Oh oh oh, O'Reilly Auto Parts. Bam. You know the song. Right? Mhmm. Doing the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and all the parts and knowledge you need to maintain and repair your automobile. Always been an O'Reilly guy. Used to go the one out in North Hollywood when I was over there, then I moved to La Crescenta. I went to the one up on Foothill. Still swing by there every once in a while because I'm a hands on guy. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best off, they're friendly because, some of those auto parts guys can be a little little tough around the edges. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today, or you can visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com/Adam. That's O'ReillyAuto.com/Adam. Pluto TV is the place for movie fans like me. And TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone, and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier. And rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker. Or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run, Forrest. Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never. Stand down an open road. Small town standing playing on the radio. Well, our old friend Gary Larson is newish bride Stephanie Stevens are joining, the, album. It's a solo album, Dark Country. It's available to bind, to stream everywhere, right now. Dates are coming up. Gary, of course, you probably know best from the Jayhawks, one of my favorite bands. Good to see you guys. Hey, Adam. Hey, Adam. Yeah. This is Stephanie. Yeah. We met before. We met on an airplane, I believe. I think so. And How are you? I'm well. How are you doing? Good. We're in the snowy mountains of Quebec. Mhmm. Oh, really? Are do you live there? Yes. Steph is a Canadian. Yeah. I'm Canadian. I'm a permanent resident at this point. Oh, wow. Yes. Yeah. We were on the podcast with you a few years back during COVID, I believe, a little thing called COVID. I 21. Remember that, but I also have a recollection of running into you guys on an airplane for some reason shortly before you got married. And I'm guessing that could have been six or seven years ago, but I don't know. How long have you guys been married? It's six almost It'll be five. Five years. Five years. So, Maybe I ran into you right I think I ran into you before you were getting married on an airplane for some for some reason. But I'm afraid of airplanes. I could've been drinking heavily then because I'm not a big fan of flying. So Yeah. Well, I could have been drinking and and made this whole thing up as well. So, it sounds like pretty good country for writing songs, snowy Quebec. Well, for some reason, I keep moving from one snowy place to another. I grew up in Ohio, then I moved to Minnesota and spent forty something years there and then moved here. So I think the next move we make is somewhere warm. So if you have any suggestions, let us know because we're we're thinking about it. We are. Yeah. I think the plan is to get to places. You get the warm place, you get the cold place, and then you figure out when to go from one one to the next. But, I mean, you're you do a lot of touring. Right, Gary? I mean, you're not constantly touring, but you're you've been on the road a lot over the last thirty, forty years. Right? Oh, yeah. Back in the nineties, you know, there was at least a 50 dates probably. Now we do about 60 or so in between the band and and my solo stuff. So, yeah, so too much, really. Sometimes the the excitement of of getting on a plane is gone. So as they say, we're touring like the Stones. Remember, '25 by five? They asked Charlie Watts, like, what's it like? He said it's five years of playing and twenty years of waiting around, which is basically quite a lot of choice. A good calculation. Have you, who have you know, the Jayhawks, I I came on to in probably '93, '90 '4, I think, when Tomorrow the Green Grass, I think, came out. Ninety three, '90 '4? I'm trying to think. Yeah. Tomorrow the Green Grass just had its, thirty year anniversary I see. This past. Oh, so February 14. So So that's, '20 1995. Ninety '5. It was recorded in '90 yeah. That's about February of ninety five. Yeah. I was gonna say early ninety five because I kinda remember where I was living. If you moved around enough back in the day and you listened to the radio back in the day, you could sorta chart your movement with what songs were on the radio. I kinda go, oh, I remember I was in that house in La Quintana with my two roommates when I caught on to the Jayhawks. And I've always been a huge huge fan as as you've known. Thank you. And I've always sort of spread thank you. I've spread the gospel as as much as I as much as I could. And I've always kinda found that people that know music and like music were always fans of yours in in the Jayhawks. But it doesn't really guarantee any other success beyond working, you know, like being really good. Like, people say to me, who's the funniest guy you know? And I just go, you don't know his name. So, and I realized that's kind of the nature of the business. And at some point, you have to be content with making a living and being good. Or you tell me. Yeah. Well, you know, in the early days, it was we were gonna I I felt like we were gonna conquer the world and look out. You know? And then you adjust your your your your image of yourself, I guess, and then and people tell you because I'm competitive, and I, you know, I wanna but I you know, people try to tell you, you know, relatively speaking, you you're you're so lucky. You get to do what you love to do for a living. And I was talking to Steph the other day when she was trying to talk about what it was like to go work in an officer's. I'm like, I don't really know what that was like what it was like to get up. Right? He'll get up and commute and have to answer to somebody. And, I mean, it's it's not for everyone, but he gets to answer to his self, which sometimes, like you, Adam, as, you know, a comedian and an artist, and it it's in it's within you to push yourself. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to do, I think. Yeah. I'm pretty self critical, and, it's nice to to, I I I don't know. Yeah. I I I certainly have a different place. I've found a different place in life than maybe I thought originally I would have, but, yeah, I I don't know. I try to I I can be a very, very much a half class, half empty guy. Yeah. Well, well, look. I The most positive guy in the world. I'll I'll tell you the good part of the glass and the bad part of the gla*s. The good part of the glass is you have defied the odds by making a living doing your art. And 97% of society cannot or 99.9% of society can't say you know, 99% of actors, actors, comedians, musicians, artists, fine artists, sculptors can't say they make a living full time doing that thing. So you have defied those odds, and you and you have not had what we would call a daytime job for forty years, thirty five years or whatever it is. Okay. That's the good part. The bad part, the half Maybe just stop now while I'm feeling good about myself. No. No. Because I'm including myself in in this in this in this glass half full or half empty. And the half empty part is there are many people who you know you are more talented than who are selling more tickets and moving more product. And it's not because you're a narcissist or you're sort of delusional. You know you're better singer songwriter, musician, what have you. The sound is superior to this. Just like I know there's comedians who are playing Madison Square Garden who I would be funnier than, but I'm heading to the whatever club this weekend. You know? And so you have to kind of deal with that. It's it it come it's it comes with the territory. And it you're not the first person to experience it. It's happened. True. It's time in memoriam. This this is how this works. You said but you're still amongst the ninety nine point nine percent who wakes up on Monday morning and does not have to get sit in traffic. But Right. When you hear about Crapola band playing the Megadome, you do have to sit there and go better than they are. Yeah. Or when you wanna book that trip to Turks and Caicos and you wanna Yeah. You wanna fly coach and you don't wanna say it's some s**tty all inclusive, thing, and you're like, yeah. But I'm an artist. You know? I got to do what I love. Yeah. It depends on the day. But my wife here is always good at, propping me up, which I need sometimes. But, yeah. Well, I mean, I think you know and it's also it's not really a pure talent competition because people aren't sophisticated enough to kind of hear the difference between what is that and what is something lesser than that. You know, they respond to stuff that, to me, I always feel sort of like, Jesus. Right? You like that song? And, like, oh, yeah. I looked I'm like, wow. It's a bad but it's sort of like watching a dog eat a hot dog that fell off a table. So it's like, they they like it. You know what I mean? Like, that's Go and have that. Meaning, they're actually happier with the hot dog than they would be with the filet mignon. And and that that's something you kinda have to deal with. But at the beginning, when you get out of the gate, you go, okay. People are ready for this. Like, oh, this is gonna be good. And then you realize they're not really sophisticated enough to totally appreciate what it is you're doing on a mass level. Yeah. I'm basically we're too good is what we're saying to each other. We're too talented, and that's our problem. Yeah. That is maddening when you see people who I mean, I hear songs on the radio. Station or something like, how the hell does she get 5,000,000 Yeah. Hits on some s**t song Yeah. That no one really there's probably zero thought to it. And then I see him creating a love song for me, and I'm completely blown out of the water that he can pull all of that together to create something so beautiful. So I Yeah. Listen. Yeah. But I But, I mean, I don't know. Should we have it any other way? You know? People all appreciate what you appreciate and That's right. Understand everything. Chocolate and vanilla? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I think about other you know, all these people who win an Oscar, an Academy Award, and then all the the great actors who never won it or or in my business, people like Nick Drake or the Velvet Underground or Big Star, bands like that, in their day could not get arrested if they I think what's sad for me is just because and I don't wanna get on a rant, but because so many people, because they don't pay for music anymore, I I have friends who are really good musicians who are now taking, you know, classes to be a realtor or don't do business any can't make music anymore. And it kinda squeezes out the middle guys. The the people who are megastars will continue to be able to make music and do to succeed in whatever they wanna do. And then there's the people who are just making music out of their basement. They're fine. But it's the middle people who, I I've heard David Byrne talk about this too. They get a bit squeezed. That I can get a little bitter about, but, I was just starting to feel good about myself. And then, yeah. Ninety nine point nine. Damn it. Well, here's something I was thinking about when I was thinking about you and, I was thinking about the Jayhawks. And I and I I wonder if this is true because I don't I've never really thought about it. But I realize my relationship with certain artists, Jayhawk's one of them, maybe John Hyatt is another one of them where I go, oh, I like this song. I like this song. And I listen to it for a while. And then some of their other songs come creeping on, and I go, oh, yeah. No. I like this song, not that song. And then at some point, I shift. I go, oh, I like this song now. And I think and I don't know. But I think if you like the Beastie Boys, you just have, like, four songs that you like, and that was in high school. And now you're 50, and it's still the same four songs. When I listen to the Jayhawks, I move around. Like, I had songs that were my favorite Jayhawk songs three years ago, but there's new ones. And and now I like those because there's so many, and the radio isn't really interfering, telling me which ones I need to like. I I find them myself. But then, also, I think it's a mark of a good artist because I do feel that way with other artists I like, not just the hit or the couple of hits. And then I also think about how do you put together a set list if all you have is good songs with a handful of radio play songs, you know, hits. But what about the rest of the set list? Like, if if I go see Gary or or the Jayhawks, I'm like, I don't know what songs they're gonna play. I know the songs I want them to play, but you have a 50 songs, and three of them got a bunch of radio play. Well, that's it's kinda like I I love crossword puzzles and things. It's kinda like putting together a set list is a little bit like that. It's a bit of a game, and and I'm certainly not someone to pick the 30 most obscure songs to play live just to please that Uber fan who's, been waiting here, something I haven't played. And so I kinda give the people what I want, but it's also because I still like the songs. Just I'm not playing anything we don't like. But it is a challenge as, you know, when we first started playing, we we didn't have many songs. You'd have to repeat songs, you know, to fill out a forty five minute set. Now if I really wanted to touch on every record and and represent everything, it's like a two or three hour show, which is is kinda long. I remember Rick Rubin telling me, leave leave him hungry, Gary. Leave him wanting more for those, those set list, those shows. But, you know, we're, we didn't have those radio hits. In certain ways, we are I used to say, our lack of success has been, helped us succeed in a certain way because we have longevity. I have so many friends, people I know, who have had radio hits. We never had a radio hit. And that's what defined them and, was kinda what was played in the office that year, and and that was like you said, that the radio chose what song to listen to. And they got known for those three songs or two songs, and and then they get on the oldies circuit then. And and there are bands a lot of times who sold many more records than we did, but they would warm us up now. So but so we have this kind of because we didn't have one or two songs to find us, we have this longevity, kind of the slow build. And, yeah, we're going on forty years. It's been forty years we've been a band. Next year, there's a book coming there'll be a book coming out finally and no movie yet, but, so we have the longevity. We didn't have the big rise up in there, but we didn't have the plummeting doubt either. No. I I feel, yeah, it everyone wants that mega hit, but it does become sort of sad when people are in their sixties and seventies doing the hit. You remember from 1969. And then there's something about it that feels a little sad. It's always it's always also funny or sort of sad when people get known for doing, like, chubby checker, got the twist, and then there's the peppermint twist, and then there's let's twist during Christmas, and there's the Hanukkah twist and the Arbor Day twist. It's like you kinda just go, oh, sad. Sad. Yeah. Like, when you'd see I know. Gilligan. I used to be the sir. Yeah. Gilligan. Gilligan at age 75 wearing the outfit at the boat show. You know, you go Right. I heard some story how Christopher Cross would he would play his his hit first That one? Just to screw over all those people like, oh, I don't need to show up till, like, halfway through the show because he's not gonna play his hits. One hit. He plays it. Put your put your hits towards the end. Right? You don't play it at the Let's give Christopher Crosses. Dude, we got ride like the wind too. Yeah. It wasn't just sailing. He's had a couple. And didn't he have the one from Arthur? Which was the Arthur? There was He's the move. New York City. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he had a few, but I guess he just he just hits people right away with them. I know. I heard this story. Show. That's tough. I'm not really a fan, but I thought I was impressed with that. I like the name of it. I have a, I don't know why, but I told Dawson to find a song of yours, which is a good example. Let me put the title on the screen at, some point. But it's a very good example of I would just listen to to the Jayhawks, and I was like, the first eleven times I heard this song, I was like, that's a shanty or something. It's some sort of drinking song or something. But then I started really getting I started really getting into it, and now it's in my top rotation. But if people wanna know a good a good a good representation of the Jayhawk sound, I think this is a pretty good example of that. Although, you know, it's it's a song I wrote. It was on a Dixie Chicks record. Right? Or the Chicks. Oh, is this a Chicks song? It's a song I wrote with them. It was on their album, Taken the Long Way, which had a few of my songs on it. I co wrote with them. Oh, do we we talked about this before, but I think it was another Dixie or another Chicks song. Everybody knows. Everybody knows. Yeah. So this was another one that was on it, and I didn't even know that. That's weird. Yeah. That was a Grammy back here on the wall. Yeah. Am I blocking my Grammy? I'm sorry. Yeah. Am I blocking my Tony? Let me check. Well Oh, yeah. s**t. I gotta move my sheet once in a while. Oh, so this is well, that is alright. Let me enjoy this. Let me enjoy this for twenty seconds. I'll shut up. I thought I would come and just take you away. Oh, where'd you go? Love the abandoned robes. You never listen to that, did you teach your career? Alright. Well, now this is this is mind numbing because, again, this isn't in my Jayhawks rotation, but lately, I've been really appreciating this song. But then last time, we talked about the other Dixie Chicks song, which you wrote or cowrote. Let me just Cowrote. Yeah. Which was which song? Sorry. Everybody knows. I I think I cowrote, like, four of them, but, it was that that's another one of those songs about the backlash they got when they they, they complained about Bush. But I love that it was my album. I love so everybody knows was inspired by that? Yeah. I think at that time, that was on their minds. And, but but then my friend, John Jackson at Sony, like, said, you know, why don't you record kind of a bridge record in between your next new record? Why don't you record songs you had cowritten with other people and have the Jayhawks do them? So that's kinda what it's called Backroads in Abandoned Motels. That's what that song is from. That's our version of the song, but it's called Bitter End, and it was on that Taken the Long Way record, the Dixie Chicks record. That's so weird, but maybe sonically, there's some I was tuning into where I was like last time we talked, I I I was like, everybody knows. I love that song, and you're like, yeah. The Dixie Factory. And this time, I was like, bitter in. Weird. That's funny. By the way, this is out of 200 songs that I know of, the Jayhawks. So this this is rando stuff, and this is not their you know, when you go you know, when I would tell, you know, tell people, oh, listen to Jacks, they go, who the Jack? I go, I'll play Blue. And then I'll go and they'll go, oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. This is not Blue. This is a way deeper cut, but yet I tapped into something weird here. And then, also, Bad Times is is great, one of the few Jayhawks covers, but I think we've talked about that, in Oh, yeah. In the past, which is a great cover of that. But now I'm trying to think what are the other two Jayhawks songs that I know because I was I like the Dixie Chicks and that Natalie Maines took me as her date to the Grammys, the first year they won album of the year or whatever it is. It was a crazy story, but I was there. And I I I forgot about that. Escorted her. And then there was a whole story after that that Kimmel manufactured to my detriment, which is insane. We love Jimmy. We love Jimmy. He's gotta go on Jimmy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We gotta go I'll put him on. Would like Jimmy. We're calling Jimmy and Howard who I, you know, I he's my god. But, I think Howard is so savvy. Harrison. I Howard. I think Howard would love the Jayhawk. Like Oh, he loves All the Right Beatings. Like, he's a teenage girl. Like, some of his music good music. Yeah. You know? He gets it. Mostly. Yeah. He gets it. Alright, Dawson. Find out what other two Jayhawk songs are on the Dixie or sorry, Chicks. But, anyway, Natalie asked me to take her to the escort her to the to the Grammys. I think their first year. What re the first year they won? Would have that been? Yeah. That's way be way before. I'm going to I'm going back to the house I lived in and trying to think what else that Exactly. Where what address were you at? I will I I would I would reckon about 98. Could've been 98, 90 9. I'm What was the Was there backlash from you taking her? Well, it was her first it was their first record with all the hits on it. And and and they won they won either artist of the year or new artist of the year or country artist of the year. I can't remember what category they they they went in. But it was probably 99 or two it was 99 probably because I I was, like, sitting at my desk, and we were doing the man show. And and the phone rang Mhmm. And it was my manager's gay assistant. And he said he said, Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks wants you to escort her to the Grammys. And I said, oh, wow. I like the Dixie Chicks. That's kinda flattering. Why she wanna ask why she want me to take her to the Grammys? I don't know. Did she know you before? Or I didn't know. Howard Stern's super fan? I never met I never met her. She watched Love Line on MTV when I was on MTV. So okay. That's nice. So then I said to my I said to my gay assistant guy, I said, well, I said, I have a I have a girlfriend, so I don't know how how would that work. Like, what would be the optics of that before anyone used the word optics? And he went he went, it's Hollywood. People do this all the time. This is how it works. And And I was like, are you sure it's that's, like, something that's done a lot? Like, somebody escorting somebody to the show, but not but they have a girlfriend, but they're not going? And he goes, oh, yeah. Yeah. That's how they do it. That's what we do. And I I knew I had to do Loveline that night, so I had to be out of there, out of the Grammys at 09:15 or 09:30. Probably start at, like, five or something. So I was like, oh, okay. So then I I went home, and I told my girlfriend, and she was pissed. And and I was like, you know, I don't know. It's just I'm just gonna go. And then as soon as it's done, I'm just going home. I'm going to work because I worked at night. And so I went and they won. And I don't know. Now we gotta look that up, Dawson. Must have been 99. Well, I got the songs for you. I got the songs. The other two are I Like It and Baby Hold On, in addition to Everybody Knows and Bitter End. Did And there are a couple of b sides, I think. Did, Jayhawks pulling this off of your works, Gary Loris. Oh, okay. Did you cut did the Jayhawks cover those songs? No. That's why I don't know them. Yeah. Okay. They weren't as good as the other two. Oh, you can't do better than those two. So, I go to Grammys. It all goes good. They win 1998. Yeah. I guess it would have been toward the end of '98. Right? And they win what? Best country or best new? Whatever. We'll figure that out. But, anyway, they win. Everything's good. And then, my girlfriend's still kinda pissed off. Best country album. And then I go to work, I go to work the next day, and I get a big bouquet of roses from Natalie. And then giant cookies start showing up, and I talked to her on the phone, and she was watching Loveline. And it turned a whole thing, and I won't bore everyone with the details, but it was Jimmy who was sending all the stuff to the office, not her. And at some point, he'd he'd sent panties in a box, and, he he explained that this was getting out of control and that I needed to call her and I needed to confront her. And, and I said, yeah. I said, Jimmy, I'll call her because I did call her before, and I said, thanks for the flowers. And she went like, yeah. Okay. No problem. But she never sent flowers, but she did what I would do. Someone thanked me for flowers. I just go, yeah. Okay. No problem. You're worth it. You know? And so Jimmy this during, you know, work hours, he he just went, you better call her right now and straighten her out because you got a girlfriend and this is getting out of control, and she's nuts. And I said, I'll I'll call her later. And he goes, call her now. I said, alright. I'll call her. And I called her, and she was at a pottery barn with her mom. And she was like, oh, hey, Adam. What's going on? I was like, yeah. Listen. Look. You know, I told you I have a girlfriend, and, like, you're, you know, you're attractive, and it's great, and it's flattering, but I can't do this. I can't do this. I have a girlfriend. And and I listen. If I didn't have a girlfriend, Jesus Christ. You know, we've gone out tonight, but you can't keep sending over this panties and cookies and stuff. And she's like, I'm like, what? She's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, what am I talking about? I've I got it all piled up on my desk. You know? What are you talking about? She's like, I didn't send you anything. And I was like, you sent flowers. I thank you know, I called you about the flowers. You thank you know, I thanked you. You said, fine. She goes, I just thought my agent sent those. I didn't send any flowers. And I I looked up, and Jimmy was standing on his desk, and he was filming me on a video camera. And I was like, oh my god. And I didn't even know what to do anymore. I just said, you know what? Tell your mom I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I I can't even explain this. I'll I'll just have I'll call you at some point and, like, explain it. I can't do it now. I'm gonna just hang up the phone. But he Jimmy direct Jimmy did all this stuff. That was all him. Brilliant. A genius. He was he was genius. Yeah. It was genius. Does he have good does he have good taste in music? I don't know. No. He loves Huey Lewis in the news. K. Good to know. I don't hate Huey Lewis. I love that. Listen. I love Want a new drug? I love I love it. First off, Huey is the greatest guy in the world. I love Huey Lewis. I I love that. Well, that documentary That documentary did you see that one about? The We Are the World. Yeah. Awesome. He's a star. He comes off as just And me. Love him. Greatest guy in the world. But stuck with you is just a embarrassment of a nursery rhyme of a song that should've never got played on the radio. So that's all I have to say. But Huey knows my feelings. He knows my feelings. But, no. I'm trying to think. Now don't get me wrong. I probably tried to make Jimmy listen to the Jayhawks more than once. So don't get me wrong. I do. You won't. I do what I could. If anyone We're not getting you wrong, but I like it. Anyone who I gotta get Howard. Anyone I share Yeah. Everyone I share an office with gets exposed to Jayhawks at at some point. So Whether they like it or not. Whether they like it or not. No. Everybody Right. Everybody who gets continuously exposed to the Jayhawks who loves the Jayhawks. As a matter of fact, I have a girlfriend, younger girlfriend, who I have a younger wife. Who loves Paula Abdul and the Jayhawks. Interesting. Eclectic. Now I never would have thought of those two. I He's a she's a fan. Tell me? I have told her. Do the dance for you? Yes. I said you are the only human being on the planet that likes Paula Abdul and the Jayhawks. There's no other creature. There's nobody who roams this planet who says, I like Paul Abdul and the Jayhawks. I don't is there anybody else? I think you could Is it in that order? I feel like we could have wine together because I don't mind I don't mind the straight up, they'll tell me. I remember dancing to that in grade eight whenever it was out. I mean, I was born in 1970. I think that was '80. Eighty '8. Eighty '9. Maybe, but it wasn't I wasn't a pop girl. I was really underground music. But I wouldn't that? I wouldn't call Paul Okay. I wouldn't call Paul a sound timeless. I'll just say that. It's not. But No. It's not. But I would also argue that there's no human being and I'll I'll expand it to the planet, not just The United States or parts of Canada, who who likes the Jayhawks and Paul Abdul. I don't think I don't think it's possible. I think I think she gets a surprise. Because reason is is she liked Paula Abdul from high school, and then I forced the Jayhawks on her. And, once you get exposed, you you know what I'm talking about. Let me give you guys a a plug. We got tour dates coming up. Right? Yes. We got Woodstock. We got New York. We got, I'll put it out. And let me spell it. Gary, l o u r I s, music dot com is where you can go for dates. Right? Right. As you can see it on the jhawksofficial.com too. Yeah. I have a Patreon page that I'll plug, that, gives you content. But, otherwise, yeah, I played in Minneapolis, playing in Chicago, playing in Duluth and Duluth. Duluth. Yeah. And then, Jayhawks will be doing so. We don't have an LA date yet, but I think if we come, you've gotta come. Yes. You gotta come. Oh, listen. I have to go. Have you seen us play live? Or have you seen us Oh, yes. Back in the nineties? No. No. No. No. No. I I don't think I had enough money in the nineties to buy a ticket to a live show. I saw you guys last time you were here, and I'm going to say that was about nine years ago. Maybe eight and a half. I think it was at the Fonda? Yeah. I saw that. With you. Yeah. 20 you were there? Dawson came with me. Yes. As the Fonda, it was pre COVID, and it was probably couple years before COVID. So I'm going eighteen or '19 or something some I it it oh, I'm sorry. It's been eight eight years plus is what I'm what what my kids is for Fonda. Since 2015 or 2016. Paging was approved. Well, the talk is where Jayhawks are gonna maybe play an LA date, hopefully. Yeah. So we'll expect you there. Well, I can get you to I can get you We can probably get you a ticket. On the playlist if we need to. Listen. Just Maybe we'll get Paula Abdul to warm us up. Yeah. Give me your just give me your corporate rate, and I'll have you play my warehouse. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. That'd be fun. Let's do it. I'd do it. Listen. I got a whole man cave back here. Gary's been around. I've been there. I know. Well, I have some really dear friends in LA. We and our our Gary's sister has a place in Palm Desert, and so we're often out for a little visit. So Well, listen. I'll I'll pony up some cash. I know some rich guys. I'll go Yeah. We'll do it. Get the pot get the pot overflowing. Yeah. We'll get it. We'll cover it on. We'll pass the hat. You guys come in. I got room. LA is a tough market for us, and it's tough for a lot of It's tough for everybody. It's it's tough now. Nashville and LA are really are really tough because it's kinda jaded. Every there has seen it all, and, of course, I'm lumping everybody together. But No. But it it's tough for comedians too. You know? It's just it's not a good live venue kinda market. And, also, they don't get an appetite going. You know? Like, when you go to Appleton, Wisconsin, they're excited that you're coming to Appleton, Wisconsin. You know? Put there. I have the best wax there. I Excuse me. No. I have a great time too, but, you know, it's not this here, it's just a you know, it's a sort of, you know, oh, who's next? Do you know what I mean? It's nothing it's just nothing but but names coming to town or living in town. You know? Mhmm. Alright, guys. Always a pleasure. Please Yes. Look. I'll I'll go look for for your tour dates anyway because I travel around a lot. But, certainly, if you come down late question. Yes. Can you tell me who your go to new comic is? Because I lately, again, I get all my comic information from listening to Howard, but I haven't heard, like, the, you know, the young guys coming up and who's who's amazing. And There's a lot. We love it. I there's tons. I I mean, half the stuff on Netflix is funny. You know, Hulu Hulu's coming on strong now. There's a lot of comedians that come through here that are doing their stuff on Hulu. You know, don't sleep on YouTube. There's a lot of kinda independent guys that aren't mainstream that just go ahead and release their stuff on YouTube. But I would say if you want some new voices and some new jokes, check out Hulu. I've had quite a few people come through here plugging their Hulu specials and, just it's, you know, it's it's kind of a taste thing, you know, so it's kind of weird. Yeah. You know? I I mean, maybe I'm a comic expert, but you still have your taste, you know, and we have different tastes. So I would say go to Hulu and find out who's who who, sort of melds with you taste wise. Well, I know that for a musician, we envy a a comic even though I can't imagine being up there that naked with a microphone. But the you know, you go to see a comic and comedian, and they're just they don't have to have gear. They don't you know, it's not that long soundcheck. I listen. I I can't imagine how you listen. One first off, all comics envy musicians, so it's it's a two way street. Yeah. I know. The grass is always greener. But But I will tell you, I'm gonna be in Monterey at the Golden State Theater March First. And last time I was at the Monterey at the Golden State Theater, I sit in the green room and I see, like, poster signed of, like, Santana. And there's, like, 26 dudes in that band. You know? And I'm like, I'm coming out. I'm doing one show. I'm do I'm doing okay, but I'm not getting rich off the one show. How's the math work with Santana and the soundchecks and the band and the equipment and the roadie? I mean, what the hell is hotel walking out in? In the hotel rooms. Yeah. Flights. Yeah. Everything. It's not easy. You do it because keep looking and saying I'm doing it for the people. I'm giving my art to people. I'm helping people. You do it because you love it. I'm I'm so such a good person. I can't get over it. Alright, guys. Alright. Thank you. Gary, Stephanie. Always great seeing you guys. Touch. We'll talk soon. Yeah. Hopefully Thank you. When you come to LA. Alright. Yeah. San Louis coming up on Friday, and then, I guess it's Saturday would be, Monterey. We changed one to Friday. And then, Sunday, Napa, Uptown Theater. Lots of live shows. Phoenix coming up as well. And, of course, Dark Country, everything Gary does is great. Check that out. And until next time, this is Sam Crow for TJ Miller and Gary Loris and his wife, Stephanie, saying. Mahalo. Leave us a voice mail at (888) 634-1744, and get tickets to see the ace man at AdamCarolla.com. Pluto TV is the place for movie fans like me. And TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone, and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier. And rewatch cult classics like higher learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker. Or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run, Forrest. Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now? Pay never. Looking for a weekend that blends adventure, wellness, and nature? Explore, engage, and recharge at the Wander Wild Festival in Killarney from April. Paddle, hike, and stretch by day. Unwind, connect, stargaze by night. This is Ireland's premier outdoor and wellness festival. Enjoy over one hundred day and nighttime events themed around the mountains, lakes, park, and mind. Sponsored by Nature Valley. See wanderwildfestival.com.