Vault Release: CHRIS BATHUM Part 2 of 5: Hypnotist

Transcript

Alright. I'm gonna keep this simple. Welcome back to Straight Up With Stasi. I'm Stasi Schroeder Clark. Let's do this. Dracarys, b***hes. It feels so good to say that. No. Like, so good. It's been so long. It's been such a long time. And, listen, I swear, I'm not gonna open every episode with Drakkaras b***hes anymore or again or maybe I maybe I will. I've I've tried to think about, do I wanna say Drakkaros b***hes again, or is that done? Or, you know, I it's like I get it. It's like, Stasse, get a new personality trait. Game of Thrones was a really long time ago, but I had to say, Drakkaros, b***hes. 1, because it just feels right. 2, HBO just made it and me and this podcast relevant again. Like, seriously, it feels written in the stars. It feels just totally meant to be. It felt like it was just a giant sign, a giant glaring neon sign that was just telling me some some higher power, some spirit, some ghost or whatever was just trying to tell me, yes, start your podcast again. And if you're feeling a little insecure about starting it, let me give you this sign, this push this push that is house of the dragon making Dracarys b***hes cool again. It's like just when you thought, you're like, oh, finally, like, no one's talking about Game of Thrones anymore. Like, gosh. We're over it. We're done. Nope. So thank you, HBO. Thank you. Okay. But for reals, I, I'm I'm gonna find a new shtick. It's just the thing with shtick is that you can't just, like, come up with what your shtick is gonna be. You can't come up with, like, well, this is gonna be how I open the show, and this is gonna be how I close it, and this is gonna be, what becomes my thing. You gotta just, like, let time go. You gotta keep doing the thing, and then all of a sudden, something hits. And then you realize you've been opening the show the same way for the last couple months, and that's how that became a thing. So I'm just listen. Dzhokhar's b***hes this time, but we're gonna adapt. We're gonna adapt at some point. Or at least you know what? I don't know. Now that we have House of the Dragon, I might not. I might I might take this all back, and next week, you're gonna be you're gonna be hearing, Drakkaros b***hes. Okay. Y'all, you guys, I have missed you. I have missed you. I feel like this is some notebook s**t. Like, my relationship with you. I spent almost 6 years with this straight up with Stasi community, and I got to meet so many of you guys when I went out on tour. And I've communicated with you guys through social media, and, it's been a long break, but I'm here. And I feel like some of you might be feeling like I just ghosted you or something, or, like, I didn't care. Like, I just vanished for a little while. I broke up with you. No. Like, when I say this is like The Notebook, I mean, I am Ryan Gosling, and you are Rachel McAdams. I wrote you a letter every day for 365 days. Like, this is a love story. You just didn't know. I have all the letters right here in front of me. I just couldn't put them out there, but I'm here now. And, also, like Ryan Gosling, when I say, it wasn't over. It still isn't over. So, like, yeah. Just I'm Ryan Gosling, and you're Rachel McAdams, and it is what it is. But I am so thrilled to be doing this podcast again, to be talking to you, to be exploring all the things. It's been, like, 2 over 2 years. It's been over. I think the last podcast episode I did was May 2020. That was, like, a really long time ago. So almost two and a half years, haven't done this. I'm gonna be honest. It it'll it'll probably be, a little rocky at first because I gotta find my footing again. I gotta get into the groove. This is just the first episode, a short one, just to explain a few things. But bear with me. We're gonna all get through this together just like Noah and Ali. So there's a few questions that you guys might have. Why did it look like my podcast was completely erased from the podcast app two and a half years ago? That's a great question. It's a it's a really good one. First, I wanna clarify that I have always and will always own my own content and episodes. Like, did you just hear the new updated intro music? Do you know how long we've been working on that? Like, a really long time. This has been, like, over half a year of working on this because we wanted to take the old music, but elevate it, spice it up, make it more fun. Did you notice the new podcast art? I mean, chic. Right? But still, Stasse blue. That also took forever. Like, if you understood, if you had any idea the hours, the days, the weeks, the months, the amount of people that went into to working on just a simple podcast photo you wouldn't even believe. And then you'd probably look at me and be like, it's literally just a Stasi Blue background with some black writing and a photo of yourself. That's it. No. It's not. I'm gonna need you to zoom in. I'm gonna need you to zoom in and just, like, really look at the detail of the fonts and the way that the Stasi just looks like a, a patent leather shoe. Okay? The gray scale on the black and white part of my body, that's very specific. The little purple detail on the side, you guys, it's art. It's true art. Did I need to make those changes? No. But did I want to give everything a face lift? f**k yes. I mean, everyone loves a makeover. Okay. So when everything went down in the summer of 2020, the network I was with, my the network my podcast was with, hid my show from the podcast app. So the content was never deleted. The episodes were never deleted. They were just hidden. And during that time, I had all of the episodes transferred to me so that I could decide what I wanted to do with them. So then you might be wondering, okay. Well, if you had the episodes right away, why didn't you just let them be out there? Like, if you owned it and all that, why didn't you just, like, re or unhide it? Well, I had a lot of thinking to do, and I kind of decided in that moment that there is a time and a place when people should speak, and there's a time and a place where people should listen. And, back then, it really was not my time to be speaking. And over the course of the next, like, following months and, I guess, like, years, because now that I'm looking back on it, two and a half years, there were lots of people who were advising me to just get back out there. Just put it all back out there. Start your podcast again. Like, lots of it. Lots of advice coming from all angles just telling me to get back out there, but it just did not feel right. And I was pregnant on top of that. So while all of this was going on, I just felt like, you know what? This this situation that I got myself in, it is so layered. It is so nuanced, and I don't think that I can just flippantly or or or succinctly just, like, talk about it in a podcast episode here and there. There was so much that I wanted to say, so many things that I felt, so many things that I was learning, so many things that were changing. And I wanted the first time that everyone heard from me to be after I'd written my book because I took a really long f**king time to write it, and everything that I wrote in there had to be said all at the same time, and I couldn't possibly just do that in a podcast episode. So, also, I mean, like, side note, like, if you wanna go buy my book, it's called off with my head, New York Times bestseller. Available anywhere. Yeah. So there's that. You also might be asking, okay. Well, why now? This is random. Well, the answer is House of the Dragon made me relevant again. No. No. No. I'm kidding. It's because it's close to Halloween. No. I'm kidding again. But real talk. Okay? The book came out. People who cared about the things that I experienced, the things that I have done, the things that I've learned, have read, what I had to say. I got to go get married. I got to chill out for a second while I really thought about what I wanted this podcast to be. And, now just feels like the right time. It just feels good, feels simpatico. Is that the right word for it? Simpatico? And did I just is did I say simpatico with an accent? Am I saying it with an accent? I'm not sure. Whatever. I'm not sure. So that is why. That's that's why now, and I'm really excited to be doing this again. But I feel like I should just, like, update, a little bit about me right now since this is the first time I'm doing this. God, I can't believe it. Like, I used to do this every single week for so many years. 6 years? Maybe over 6 years? I'm not sure. But, like, this doing a podcast was a part of my life, a huge part of my life, and a huge part of the way that I expressed myself and and just communicated, and it feels like like therapy to be back doing it again. And, yes, I've been doing another podcast called The Good, The Bad, The Baby, with Beau, my now husband, for the last almost year and a half, and that's on Patreon. And go ahead and go give it a listen. Just patreon.com/stassy. Lots of past backlog episodes there if you're just like, god. You know, Stasi's so interesting. I just really need more content from her. Oh, wow. Anyway, a little bit about me right now. Okay. Let's just get deep, and let's just get honest. I am not the same person that I was when you last heard from me. Like, I mean, I am, obviously. I'm still me, but I'm not at the same time. I and I feel like, honestly, that's going to disappoint some people because I know a lot of people, you know, message me and DM me and say, I love season 1, Stassi, and I you know, you're just so b***hy, and you tell it like it is. And, you know, you just don't give a f**k, and you like, I know that that's something that a lot of people hold on to, and that that that kind of person resonates with other people. But I grew up a little bit, and it's been in the back of my head that maybe I'm not maybe the fact that I've grown up, I'm not that same person that people will want to listen to. Maybe the person I am isn't as entertaining as the person I used to be. Like, I don't have that many crazy dramatic stories of getting f**ked up and staying out all night and getting in fights with people and drums, drums, drums. Like, not my life anymore. A lot has changed. And for a really long time, I've or at least a year, I have been thinking about, well, am I, like, worth anything in the podcast world, in the entertainment industry if I'm not just out there being dramatic. And, I've had to just trust that maybe we're all hashtag growing at the same time. Like, maybe we're all evolving together because no one's ever gonna be the same person they were at 23, I mean or at 34 that they were at 23. Like, I can't like, if if you've if if you're somebody who's gone through any life experience whatsoever, if you haven't changed a little bit, like, that kind of makes you a serial killer a tad. And, I don't mean, like, serial killer in, like, the fun, like, Netflix murder doc, gotta binge it serial killer way. I mean, like, crazy sociopath has a family locked in their basement, and we never find out about it, like, nefarious type of serial killer way. And I've gone through a lot over the last two and a half years. I mean, we all did by going through a worldwide pandemic and being stuck at home, so everyone had to do a little bit of, like, soul searching and figuring out, like, what makes them happy, what makes them feel alive, what make what brings the you joy. Like, we both we all had to do that inner work. But besides the pandemic, I was very publicly held accountable, and that fully does something to your soul. And if that doesn't change you, then you really, really are a monster. And I also became a mom. So just lots and lots and lots and lots of glorious growth over here in Casa Clark. There's been a lot of self reflection, a lot of deciding what's important, what I want, what motivates me, what makes me happy. Like, I realized decorating for the holidays even or planning for it, even if it's July, is something that just, like, really that tickles my soul, that just, like, lights a fire. It makes me feel passion. Like, my likes and interests, a lot of those have changed. Like, I still love a pop culture moment. I love a good gossip session. Like, I I still I I have opinions on things. I'm still fun. I swear. I swear I'm still fun. I just think that I'm coming from a a place where just my priorities have shifted. So that's gonna inform everything that I do then think, if that makes sense. God, this really feels like a f**king therapy session right now, but I'm gonna roll with it because it kinda feels good to just, like, release it. I'm releasing I'm releasing it into the universe right now. But, also, I haven't been on reality TV in a few years. Like, I haven't filmed for reality TV in 3 years. And being outside of that where my whole adult life up until then was being on camera, all of my twenties was in front of the camera, like, that changes you to be outside of it. I mean, if you think about it, and I don't know how much your reality TV knowledge is. I don't know where that stacks up. But my as I look back on it, I've realized just how much of my life wasn't my own. Like, the places I went where I was told to go. The people I was around, I was told to be around. The some of the things that I would talk about actually, a lot of the things that I would have to talk about, we would have to talk about, we were told to talk about. And to be away from that and to find your own path in life and dictate what you wanna do with you and your family on a day to day basis, that was a major shift, and that changed me too. Essentially, what I'm trying to say is I am not beholden to anyone at this point. Well, like, except, obviously, my daughter and, my husband, Beau. Like, there's that. But I am free to do as I want, and I feel refreshed and tired at the same time, obviously, because being a mom is f**king exhausting, and more people need to talk about that. Like, I need more time to shower. Like, I just do. Like, I'm tired. And, like, I need some whatever. We'll get into that in future episodes, probably. Now you're probably thinking, oh, man. Stassie's gone soft, and you would be right and wrong. K? I have gone soft ish. Okay? I get my, the intro for straight up with Stasi, up until now, it was like, and I'm gonna do what I do best, judge. And I still love to judge. Judging is fun. If somebody tells you that they don't like judging or they don't judge, they're lying. It is like actual human nature, a part of our DNA to judge. Now whether you're mean spirited about it or not, like, that can shift. That can change. But judging is fun even if you just think it in your head. Okay? These are all just straight up facts. And I think that there's something to be said for, having a thoughtfulness before you speak. Like, I think that person that's like, well, I'm just unfiltered. And I say the first thing that comes to my mind, if you don't like it, deal with it. I think that's kind of overrated. I kind of think that we should just be a little more thoughtful before we put something out there. This feels this feels incredibly meta right now. I feel like I'm just, like, thinking, like, wow. This is therapy. But I'm just trying to catch you up on where I am right now. And while I still judge and have fun with all of that, I think that it just is coming from a different perspective. So the judging might feel a little different if you've been an OG listener, and that's okay, I hope. But for real, I have a thing called imposter syndrome now. I actually I think we all have it. Like, the other day, I was, out to dinner with my friends, and we went to Polo Lounge, fancy as f**k. No. Seriously. Polo Lounge is one of my happy places. It is so expensive, but the McCarthy salad is so freaking delicious. There is no other salads in Los Angeles that manages to get all of the ingredients just like that with, like, the perfect amount of, like, creamy balsamic dressing. And to me, that is worth the, like, $42 that is the salad. Rude, but delicious. Rude, but delicious. Put that on a f**king shirt. Anyway, I was at dinner with my friends, and they were, like, asking about Hartford. And they were, like, why is your mom why is Hartford at your mom's? And I'm, like, oh, well, you know, Beau and I have some things that we have to do this week, and it just, like, was really helpful. It's just been really helpful to have Hartford away so we can get these things done. And they were asking me, what are you what is it that you have you guys have to be doing? And I was like, well, I'm starting my motherf**king podcast again, b***hes. And they were like, what? How have you not told us this? And, I realized also in that moment I guess I've always known this about myself. I don't ever really talk about things that I'm working on or things that I'm doing until, like, they're actually, like, done and out there. Like, there's nothing that, like, annoys me more than, like, teaser or, like, working on a secret project. Stay tuned. Like, when I come across Instagram stories or, like, people that post that, like, I just a little part of me dies inside, and it's just it's just not my way of doing things. It just, like, I get secondhand embarrassment. And I know that there's a lot of things I do that you probably get secondhand embarrassment from by seeing on my Instagram or my social media, but this is mine. Okay? I don't like teasers. I don't like seeing stay tuned. It just makes me feel uncomfy. That is what it is. So as I'm explaining this to them, they're like, how did we not even know this? Oh my gosh. Well, like, how do you feel? Are you excited? Are you nervous? And at first, I was like, well, yeah. I'm I'm really, really excited. And it's not that I'm nervous, but I kind of just feel like, am I even good enough to do this? I feel like, wow. I've I've been a stay at home mom kind of for the last however long, and, I'm kind of socially awkward at this point. I only talk to a handful of people. What if I'm rusty? I'm definitely gonna be rusty. It's definitely gonna be a a little slow moving at times. And I just said to them, I think I have imposter syndrome. I don't think I should be here right now. Like, why me? This is weird. Holy s**t. I'm in my head. But that's where we're at. And if you decide to come along on this podcasting journey with me, this this next this is like it's not the next chapter. It's like the next volume. It's the next volume. That's what this is. It's the next act. Yeah. Let's do it like, like a play, like Broadway. If you decide to join me on the in the next act, it might be a little slow moving at first because, again, I need to get into my groove. Stasi lost her groove for a little bit, and she's trying to get it back. And no one gets their groove back overnight. K? Takes practice, takes time, takes getting comfortable. You know? It's just I gotta find my rhythm. So with that said, what should we all expect from here on out? Now it's gonna be pretty much the same type of show that it was before, except there are a few minor changes, which I actually would more consider to be, like, additions. I will have 2 guests a month, but, also, the other 2 episodes a month, I've decided to theme them. Okay? First one, pop culture hour, which I will be doing once a month with Taylor Strecker when we talk about everything that is either, like, just taking the world by storm, like or movies, TV show, what's happening in pop culture, what's what's what is everybody talking about right now, what are we obsessed with right now, that's what that episode will be. And the 4th episode, I titled pour it out because, well, you know, I love a good alcohol motif. It's just like been it it just feels vintage. It feels like vintage Stasse. Feels vintage me to just have an alcohol motif. And what I mean by pour it out is like, you know when you're with your friends and you're like, there's someone just complaining or wanting to just b***h about something, you're like, just pour it out. Like, pour it out. Like, pour out your soul. That's what this is, where I am going to connect with you guys. That was one of the main things I missed about doing this podcast. It was the communication and connection I had with the listeners. And in the Pour It Out episodes, you'll be able to call this number, which is 844666. See, I haven't changed that much. S u w s. I'll repeat that for you. That's 844666 s u w s, kind of the easiest number to remember ever. So, like, you can, like, drunkenly call it whenever you want and just, like, leave voice mails. But just know those voice mails, some of them will be featured on the show. So on those episodes, you guys can ask me anything you want. And but what I mean by anything you want, I don't mean, like, will you please talk about, like, what's, like what really happened with, like, this Vanderpump Rules moment, like, that just happened with so and so making out with so and so? No. No. No. I'm not, like, spilling tea with these questions. I mean, you can call in, talk about anything that's going on in your life, whether that is, like, a breakup or you just got a new job or, I don't know. You're just trying to find a new hobby and you're bored, or you just really wanna find the meaning of life, or, hey. What's what do you prefer, Coke or Pepsi? Like, whatever. I'll talk to you about it. Well, I'll talk after you leave a message. I'll talk after. And I'm gonna give you my unsound advice. Okay? I am not an expert on anything. And, like, truly, like, the more I think about it, really, I'm not an expert on anything at all. So please don't take anything I say seriously. This is just like my personal opinion in, like, what I would do in a situation. So, yeah, not that serious, but fun. Funsies as f**k. Okay. So that's what this is gonna be. Cooliesies. That's what this is gonna be. If you don't know that reference, you're not an OG. And if you're not an OG, welcome. Welcome to the cult of Stasi. No. This isn't a cult. Actually, it is. I'll never get over wanting my own cult. But, again, it's not an evil cult. It's a nice cult. It's a fun cult. It's a cult you wanna be a part of. It's a cult with a wait list. Okay? But welcome if you're new here. Also, you'll be able to watch these episodes on Patreon, and you'll be able to listen to them ad free on Patreon. So I'm still gonna keep doing The Good, The Bad, The Baby with Bo. And if you wanna hear more about, like, my actual life, like, the like like, it's basically our podcast is talking about ourselves. It's like we're making our own reality show, and we have a s**t ton of videos, a s**t ton of different content, house tours, like, a cringe makeup tutorial, wardrobe videos, just lots of different things. If you want that little little, like, peek into our lives, the good, the bad, the baby on Patreon, head straight there. But, also, if you wanna just if that is not your thing, if you're like, I just want, like, a dash of Stassie content. I can't take her in, like, big doses. I get it. That makes a lot of sense. Then you can actually just go and watch this. Because if you watch these episodes, well, you get to see, like, outfits and, me talking to other people, facial expressions, like, I don't know, just lots of s**t, and ad free. So you're welcome for that little extra, or you're not welcome if you don't care. And that's totally fine too. Yeah. It feels really good to be back. But there is only one way, I mean, one correct way to end this episode, and that is to let the icon, the queen, that is Hartford Clark, do the outro. Hissy. Hissy, guys.