Traveling With Your Partner!

Transcript

Everybody welcome the cool classics, I'm an old superfan, Giovanni. This is the podcast with the best moments, fan favorite highlights and select clips from the AM Cruel show all 14 or 15 years. Oh, back to 2009. Speaking of 2009, let's jump right in clips. Firstly, we have Adam Crawshaw, 38, featuring the great Jimmy Pardo from April of 2009. I had a great experience when my dad was freshly minted single, how he had all of a sudden, you know, we're talking about the mid 70s, he had to change his look, OK? He all of a sudden started basically started looking like Angel from the Rock, for sure. He was a buttoned down looking kind of 60s guy, and then all of a sudden he went with the big fro. He looked like the lead singer from Boston, Brad Delp. Is that him? Yeah, there you go. Big, big fro, right? Chris Nehru jacket. So he had to get him trying to get laid. Essentially, it's what it was. But you didn't know that because you're a kid. No, I was just like, Why is dad wearing funny jean pants that women wear, like all of a sudden? Like, Where do you get all this s**t? What do you say, jean pants? Do you mean like a denim that would have the patches on? Is it that he had the kind of lace up in the front? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was like the episode of The Brady Bunch where where Greg decided he wasn't a little boy. He's a man. That's the and like far out man. And it's like, I'm not going on a camping trip this year. I'm going to be chillin with some of my boy and it's a challenge. But rapping with some of my brothers and actually nothing ever happened one camp. But the transformation that Greg had, that's like what my dad had wearing the sunglasses is your how much I'm told there's your dad than you. I was trying to figure that out the other day because my my family is not real tight knit and thus I don't know when anyone's birthday is really. Yeah. And so you don't even know how old your dad is. So you can't even do the basic math of subtracting the years. I can. I can narrow it down to like a two decade period. I know. Here's how I know how old my mom is. My sister is forty five. My mom is 75 and my grandmother was 95. All right. So at some point, them all being in the same year, sort of. By the way, I was thirty seven when I got that part. Very good, but I always knew my sister was a year older than me. And then about five years ago, I figured out somebody told me for the fifth time that grannies, always 30 years old, are 20 years older, so he's 30 years old. So that would put my dad at somewhere between 75 and 80 because I know he's older than my mom, but I don't think it's by much. And you're how old? I'm forty four. You're forty four, nineteen sixty five. Mm hmm. All right. 64 ActionScript and I'm sixty six years old, right? And and my my mom's twenty years older than me, my dad. Twenty three. So they were when they got divorced, they were young people, right? You know, in their twenties and, you know, swinging, obviously. Yeah, you did. Thirty thirty one years old. Yeah, it's right for sure. So did does that. Does he start having girlfriends? He I've never know. My dad really not to have one. My dad's always either have been married or had a girlfriend for my entire life. And was it weird at the beginning? I guess so. You know, I mean, I was eight, and I think I blocked a lot of it out. I don't remember a lot of that. Yeah. You know, I know it. I don't know. What do you think the best age to get divorced is fourteen? Right? Yeah. Because by then, once you've discovered masturbation, right, it's like I. It's like, there's a knock on the door son. Your mother and I hold on over competing off of clothes on it, up close the door. Sure. Then you come out, you're in your refractory period. What? What's happening when you're getting divorced? Good times cause Starfleet a bit, dad. You're not taking the penthouse for the iron, right? Awesome. I'll see you Saturday. Clear up. That reminds me, by the way, the first time since you brought it up, the first time I masturbated. My stepfather check that the second time my stepfather walked in on me. Second, yeah, first time I left the bedroom and I and I was on the couch in our home in hometown Illinois, which is where I grew up. Second time semen came out of your penis. Well, you're your own second time. I wanted it to come out of my own hand. What is the nocturnal mission? The first time I completed the deal, right, the second time I was like, Oh my god, here we go. I got to do that again, and I picked the time where I thought nobody was home. And the second that I took the pants off, which I had no pajama bottoms at that age. Sure, I took those off late on the couch with his penthouse, right? And all of a sudden, there's a thing at the door and just jump up. Hey, Ron, what are you doing home? And well, I always come home at six o'clock. Oh, is it six? You know, my heart's pounding out of my chest, and it's really like getting a ticket on the way home from the DMV after you get your learner's permit, right? Like how your second you've gotten one successful jack under your belt and you literally wait to do it again. One And you get popped the second four, you get to the end of the spectrum on a gun show for the third time. The average is probably a hundred and eighty six and a half. Times before you get walked in on, you get walked in, I me one with a dose smart to get it over with. Yeah, but then you live in fear of every, every time you're going to do it, that somebody's going to walk to the door. Another time. Same house. The phone rings. Now, I can't answer this. Why did I answer the phone? I don't know, but I'm in the middle of it. The phone rings and I get I'm 13 years older, ever, and it's my mom and I'm Hey, hello, hello. You like, what are you doing right? Like, I don't know. I guess I'm out of breath and run to the phone, but they know what's going. Lusted over the phone. Yeah, maybe I wanted to get caught. I got to a shame involved. I got to say I haven't. I haven't told the story, maybe ever on the air, but I got popped once by a buddy of mine who lived down the street. He literally kicked the door open. I was, I was. I was living in the garage of my my house. He literally kicked the garage open and did a sort of, here's Johnny Wright kind of move like attempting to be funny. It's just one of these guys, you know, every jack off, pardon the pun guy you grow up with if you were in your room or whatever, you know, there was no such thing as a quiet entrance. You know, I'm going to get the backhanded knuckle one knuckle knock. Excuse me, Jimmy, I'm tired. And you're right. And know you just door flies open. Yeah, he screams. I am in such a lab. I mean, I'm going at it. I'm at the point where I cannot shut it off. There's no turning back. We're right there. You know, it's like I talk about I. There's a name for it, but what a pilot is in a commercial airliner and he gets up to one hundred and thirty seven knots. He's take it off. OK, what's that? So it is a sorry. Can't see it. There's no shutting down the engines. You're that you're going into Lake Superior at that point. Like, I don't care if the engine's on fire, we're lifting, right? That's what it was with me. He kicked open the door. I was in shock, but as I was in shock, something was coming out of me that couldn't hurt. It was like. And it was like, it was like a jacked off to him, right? Hey, hey, Craig, looks like. I don't think he wanted that either, but he still he's got a story for the rest of his life. I guess he does. Evidently, right? Let's hope he doesn't get the Facebook right. You know what? I'm blogging about it. No, but you're talking about it. So at this point, you probably probably write the worst time that I ever got caught. And again, you started this topic. I was living in North Hollywood Valley Village, and I lived in an apartment complex that may, may have been a hotel at some point where, like all the. There were no hallways, everything faced out into the common courtyard where there was a pool and it was, I don't know, a Sunday afternoon that I went over to Odyssey video on Lankershim. You're sure I went over there where they have that creepy back room full of porn? Well, not only that, but the walk of shame from the back porn bunker of the audio of the Odyssey video to the front registers as three football fields of shame. Right? Literally threw the parents out, getting the disabled kid the right to get a grip. Nemo little Einsteins in the knee was just like, It's like, I feel like I'm walking on one of those airport transport and walking the opposite way. It's like a commercial with the tunnel vision. It's like, when am I going to get to the counter right with my my, my big, my big jugar muscle mass? Right, right? Yeah. But that place has a massive it is a small porn store inside of a regular video is a great pawn to get. By the way, could you put a g*****n register in the back of the place and like that link out of the back door in my bag? Right, right. All right. So I got to get in the same line as the aisles. You know, Kevin Costner's film I come from from Odyssey. It's a beautiful day. You know, Breeze coming through my apartment. I'm up on the second floor. I'm the end apartment. Nobody, nobody could walk past my apartment, so I've got windows. No worries, right? And I rented something. I will never remember the name of it. And it was amateur. I'm always a big fan of amateur, but they also thought they were making a movie. Yeah. So it's all these crazy shots like people are f**king on a ladder, right? And there's and I'm a big fan of oral in video. Yeah, so that's none of that's happening. And so I'm there with my pants around my ankles watching this thing, and I yelled out for the love of God. It's not art. Suck a f**king dick. And just furious that this video maybe 50 minutes later, the phone rings and it's the landlord going to give me what? I keep it down up there right now, the first of couple of things, but he got you and me here the same way. We're like when you're watching a porn and it's like, All right, the guy is going to munch some box. I'm going to fast forward through this jaw. No interest, no interest. And somewhere around minute twenty one and the guy is still munching box. You're like, Who the f**k directed this porn, right? I really, I mean, look, I understand. Sprinkle in some guy eating some pussy. But Jesus Christ, you've shot a documentary on a guy eating pussy. We get it. What? Start with the f**king already? Let's go. Let's go. I completely agree, and I've realized that some directors are like munch boxing, but box munching directors and others are, you know, a blowjob or whatever. But but there's not a lot of blowjob, and I don't again, I don't know why we got on this topic. I'm with you on this, but there's not enough. I used to always joke with my buddy Paul. I got to have balls on Chin. That's what I got to have in my point. It's funny because, you know, Jimi Jimi's approach to porn is a lot. You know, it's like a lot of people's approach to theater. It's about putting asses in seats. And for me, it's about putting balls on check. Exactly right. Yeah. I appreciate your time. I mean, the third person I I am with you. Yeah. And that the only reason I even excuse the box munching in the porn is that I accept right, that there's a fringe element that derives some pleasure from watching this and you and I'm all right with it. I mean, it's like, let's power through that and let's get to the B.J.. Now, wait a minute, Donny. I'll bet you down. He's the kind of guy who's going to piss me off and tell me he's into that. I don't see. Here's the thing you're as far as the porn goes. It's meant for men. Yes. The box much is sort of something that's meant for the ladies. But that's the way. That's the way I look at it. Dani, you have to. Just yellow through the window. You have to, you know, like the stakeout version, he's doing so just because you're strictly in tomorrow will have a big test or. I like a little bit. All right. But you don't need the twenty five minutes at the beginning. Oh, no, no, no, no, not mean. Like five minutes of five minute five is too much an eternity. It's eternity. That's love is a lifetime in the box munching. Put it in there so that we can all pretend we care about the lady, right? That's all right. Let's get that out of the way. And then let's get to daddy. I completely agree. Dani, you don't know how long five minutes of that is when you're actually just watching it for a long time. Well, it's I don't either, because I fast forward through it. So taste of it, that's all. All right. All right. I agree with you. It makes it makes me mad when they do that. There's there's there's many there's many things in the porn direction, things I would correct, but I didn't know, by the way, they even had the amateur stuff back in the day, back in the early days. Oh yeah. Oh, it was. It was like always like, Screw my wife, please. Or something like that where you come in and and maybe they're faking it. I don't know where they would go. Hey, we met them on the internet and we're going to talk to them. Yeah, I'd like you to have sex with my wife. Right. And horrible acting. You know, porn. You know, porn is great. Just because there's a $2 billion segment of it called amateurs, yes, there's no such thing as a restaurant. All right, guys, give it a try. Let's cut the amateur chef over here. Let's go over there, right? There's no set. There's no sport. There's no favorite sports club or sports team. There's nothing. There's anything with the word amateur in it that you're attracted to. No, I mean, you're not going to watch amateur baseball players have a game. Here's how Good's porn is. Yes, even the amateur stuff is is worthwhile. It's worthwhile. That's so true. Like, if there was a sitcom just called amateur sitcom, it's not really. These are real actors. They're not. It's not really written by funny people. Like, you'd be like, Screw that, I'm watching Seinfeld, right? But amateur porn, even amateur porn is good. Well, there was muscle on the WB that was somewhat amateur and not written by funny. No, that back in six or whatever the hell that joke came out of. So lived back in Valley Village availability. That's where I grew up and went to the Odyssey. Yeah. Well, now here's the thing about the Odyssey. Every once in a while, a pass by the Odyssey and they still have the by the way, like times are tight. Yeah, times are tough in the porn department, and they will write on the window by one porn. Get 26 right? Know just s**t like that. And I'm like by one by one DVD for three ninety nine. Get one hundred and eighty five for free. And there's a part of me that wants to stop and go back in, but I realize I will now be recognized by the guy behind the counter right at the at the Odyssey video where I used to walk in with impunity. And even then, I couldn't stand that walk of shame to the counter. I watch a buddy of mine, Pete walked in on me and I said to me, If if it's a buddy, we all do it like everybody writes porn and beats off. But yet there is the part of me that when he walked in, I'm standing in line. I went through that little panic and I grabbed a snicker bar and put that up on the counter and he goes, Oh, what you doing? I'm getting anybody. Yeah, I always buy my candy at the video store. Yeah, that's just the snicker bars at the video store so far superior to the ones you get at the 7-Eleven. Delicious. Can't even compare if you ever counted the nuts in a Snickers or when you get at a gas station as opposed to a blockbuster. Not up to snuff, is it? That's a totally different candy. It's night and day. The porn can VIDEO Candy. Hey, my greatest porn return. You know, I grew up out here. At least you moved from Chicago so you could leave everyone. You went to high school with behi. Mm-Hmm. I was returning. VIDEO Bloopers, porn bloopers. I, you know, for me, it was an impulse rant. You know what I mean? It was like, how do you not write? We love bloopers of the whole thing together? Look, I love beating off. I love a joke. I mean, like, what are my two great loves? You know what I mean is so hidden? It's actually bloopers outtakes. It was horrible, but the point is is I had to return it, OK? And then I realized as I was returning it, I didn't have any dollars and no bills in the billfold. I didn't have much money back then. But this is this was I was exceptionally light. And this is pre ATM. OK, so I opened my truck ashtray. And you know what? The thing where I have to cobble together a buck? Twenty five coins. But there's some pennies in there and there's some nickels in there. Some of the crap has the ashtray junk on it. And of course, I'm waiting in line and there's a chick. I went to high school with who's working at the place and I got a drop off not only the corn, the poor and bloopers, but the handful of change it smells like. Cigarettes got to be treated so badly you got to use pennies to do it. Yeah, like, you know, to me like that. That's what you get. She sees that she says this guy needs to it so badly. He is put together. He's chump change wives, captain of the football team, class clown. And look what it's come to, right? So it doesn't get worse. So pathetic. I know. I don't know why anyone. I don't know why anyone. You know, no one ever did the math on the maybe the guys that are renting the disgusting, vile porn in the back of the place don't want to stand in line between the mommies. Right? I mean, and that's why. And this is this is why I believe in the, you know, late eighties mid 90s, all the little video stores started opening up and they're all run by like Koreans or Chinese or whatever, because eventually, when I moved up the lock or center, there was one up on Foothill Boulevard and the guy behind the counter was like right off the boat. And I just go in there and throw down whatever I want to myself. Who you talking to, Buddy? Right? Who do you know that? I know, right? Who do you know that I went to? Did we go to the same youth high school in Beijing, right? And you graduated 40 years before I did. Like, there's no we have there's no cross-pollination. There's not going to be a party. We're going to be at where you're going. See me. Hey, how are you? But boss, but boss, come here. I'm talking to your bank. Shane is 15. Come here. Yeah, it's impossible. Yeah, I do think that's why those folks took over, why it became the norm. I became norm for the Korean to run the porn or just the crazy Asian nationality. But you know what? I'm still creeped out and I don't rent anymore because the internet is taking her that, but her back when I still did. If it was an older Asian lady like like a mom or grandma's age once in a while, no made me man the counter right. And then you got to go up there with your crazy amateur. No, she knew. But that that's at the point where that's essentially at that point. It's like a cop who says, I'll let you out of this DUI. If you give me a blowjob, you go, All right. You know, this is wrong. I know this is wrong, but no one's going to. You're not telling anyone, and neither am I. All right. Now that never happened. And right, that never happened to you. It's never say never. So it has happened to you all. And you say, never say never. It could happen. Some day I'm saying I'm leaving the window open. And with today you've got a lot of money. I pay that ticket. But it's not only the ticket, but you know who are some of the points on your licence? Hold on. You've got my points on the tickets. No traffic lights. Oh, a couple of things. You could get your license suspended or revoked for like six months or a year. Yeah, you could be taking a bunch of DUI alcohol classes you can take off and you're all over TMZ. Then the next day you've all but you've become an unfit parent. And by the way, my biggest argument you paused. Well, you're right. You know what I mean? It doesn't sound like a half bad idea when you've got it. Well, I'm going to disagree with you there, blown into a breathalyzer. So, all right. So take the next step. The next step is get out your knees for the cop. I'm just saying it's I'm sure it's probably might not happen. Let's see. Heartbreak Hotel for the bad lieutenant, he doesn't get a beat, often saying with the old lady behind the counter at the video plays, I just shot the Sabres blow at a cop. It's not exactly a parallel, but it's as close as I could come up with on short notice. Well, in fairness, you're right, I didn't give you a lot of time on it. I don't blow the cop I take. I take my my part in this praise. I take my licks elsewhere. How about a hand job done? I thought I was going to have to convince now. Done? Well, I don't know. No, no. Seriously, like the cop, if you get a DUI today, I'm done. Your life is ruined. There's no question it is $10000 quite easily right? The notion of how did you get here this afternoon doesn't have. There's no bus that goes from where you live to here and is my car. It's three years it's going to take. You would have to start leaving June of 84 to get here. I got to get do this, walk back my free throw and Hall and Oates. Right, right here, right? So I handy. I don't. I mean, I hear you. I like your logic. How about a handy where you don't have to finish? He takes over at a certain point. So I give him a half handy. It's like in the porn movies when they're doing that. The tip? The TFN. At a certain point, the guy takes over, shoot up, tells the tits to move aside. I don't know, you know what, because I go the other way. I'm with you, with the TMZ thing. It would be my s**t. Look, he's got the video on his dash, right? And you know, the next day I get cast on a television program and say, Hey, here's the new host of Blankety Blank game show. Give it a hand job to a cop. Do I need that? Oh, I see. You know what I mean? I see. OK. And you should have that same concern, sir. You're right. I wasn't thinking about that. Right. They got the camera right now. You see it when they're pulling over the hillbillies. You got to figure the cop with the dash mounted camera. Who likes to get blown out? You're right by the guy pulls over, does it by the trunk, rather by the rather than the hood? Right. But that's that's just me. I've woven that and I've already factored that. What I'm saying, he's a bad cop to begin with. He knows how to get around the camp. Speaking of the dash mounted camera, I don't know. In this crazy, litigious world, we live in how how some s**t is like, you know, if you're doing a movie or a TV show or what have you and you want to play a two licks from a Rolling Stones song, it's going to cost you 50 grand or you can't do it at all. Right? The dash mounted camera, they just do shows on Spike TV called Dash Mounted Camera, and I was watching one the other day and it's got to be horrible because, you know, some of the s**t is five years old. It's got to be horrible for the woman who asked to see this. Yeah. She's like, literally, she's sloppy drunk. She gets pulled over for the DUI and the cops like, ma'am, I have to put the zip ties on you and put you in the back. And she's like, There's gotta be some way we can work this out. I was like, Man, I'm sure I don't know what you're say. Come on. How about I give you a little and they like, beep it out. You know what it's like? This is someone's mom now. Probably someone's wife now. And I got to see footage of my old lady drunk, often driving home from the from the TGI Friday's offering, the cop a beach right on the couch. But by the way, it's now on television and it's it's on TV. It's not. It's not on the internet, it's on prime time television. They were having a little laugh about it, you know, in back in the days, the guy would come back to the precinct and go, Right, hey, guess Mrs. O'Malley just offered me a BJ, but you know, but that's where it stays, right? Maybe word got around the neighborhood a little. But the actual videotape of your mom, right, your daughter, your grandma, your whoever it's going to be, that show will pop up every six months for the next 40 years. Right. And of course, it's got the black guys doing donuts in the pickup truck and it's got the guy on the motorcycle is out, right? But it also has your mom offering a beat the guy B.J. Yeah. Now I know she didn't sign the clear and she didn't clear that out. Like, Oh yeah, where do I sign on? Done and done right? Yeah, they just get to use this. Why do they get to? And you're like, Let me throw this into the mix. What and why do they get to you? And here's what I'm asking the same question on to catch a predator, which obviously those people are vile human beings if they want to have sex with a child. But do they also sign off? Use my image on television. I agree it should be. I don't understand the difference of we've screamed about it on the show a million times. You, you go to the airport and here comes Patrick Warburton. I couldn't think of anyone else. How do you could you study for this hotties walking through the airport? There's a lot of video work too, and they're filming him and putting him on TMZ. Obviously, it's not consented to. Let's just say it's Brad Pitt. He's not consented to do this thing. So but yet it goes on TMZ and it makes money. Somebody's profits from it. Obviously, the dashboard cam check who offered the BJP to Officer Johnson wrote, did not consent to have that go on TV. That goes on TV, but there's no way you could. Just when we would do the man show we do a man on the street thing and somebody walked past me. We either they had to sign a consent to fill out their face. Right? So why is this allowed? What the f**k is it with you? I don't know. I don't think people do a lot of well there on a city street. Well, I'm on a city street right where you think I'm in my bathtub when I do this right? Or in their living room. And then the other thing is they go, Well, this is what you do is. Well, it's for profit. Well, so is this show for profit that has commercials, right? It's not a commercial free that has is making a couple of bucks, right? By the way, to catch the predator we need to talk about because. I love that show. There's a couple of parts I love, I love, I love the part. I love the part where the guy drove in from Mississippi right to Texarkana, like 17 hour drive, I love the 17 hour drive because I know that two days earlier, his son was asking him to a ride to Little League practice, and he was like, I'm right in the middle of watching a king of queens here. Could you please write or his old lady said, You know, my mom's coming into the airport. Could you give her a Jesus Christ? You know how much gas cost? Right? You know, so I love the fact that when a guy gets a boner, he will drive 17 hours. No problema. Right? So a these guys always haul it in from a million miles. The other part I like is the part where the chick says through the door, I'm getting some stuff out of the laundry. They buy it. Help yourself to some toll house cookies and sweet teen the guys like. All righty. Then we're happy to come in. He's got he's got at least got like a 15 pack of straws and a chub pack of condoms and some of that personal lubrication that heats up, you know, and he's just walked in. And the other thing I love about the thing is the guy is a 46 year old long haul trucker. He thinks he's got to nail a hot 14 year old rich, you know, white chick who lives in suburbia and he's wearing cut-off sweats and a wife beater with some gravy on it. One flip flop like you really don't want to just get your s**t. You don't have one f**king parent or a dockers in the car. You don't dress up for your date. Yeah, like, like seriously, like if there's a funeral. Yeah, if there's a death in the family or you have a court appearance, do you not have one V-neck sweater? I mean, these guys f**king show up wearing just like a Macon Bacon T-shirt, right? With s**t on it. Like, come on, buddy, you're trying to get in the pants of a 15 year old. They want to pull it together just a little together to try to get the 50 year old. They're crazy. And the other the other thing how you always know and you know, I don't go online and cruise, but if I did. Here's how I would always know I was talking to an undercover cop or one of the chicks from one of those, you know, pedophiles for justice or whatever, whatever the organization is when you say to a normal 13 year old girl. I'm going to beat you with my c**k. And she typed back. She doesn't type back. You're making me hot. Right, right, right, right. She's like, You're weird. Knock it off, right? She does it. You don't. That's not how you communicate with 30 year olds. Hey, that's great. That doesn't matter. Yeah. When can you come over? Right? Listen, I drive a 1984 Ford Laredo step side and I'm into the a*s play and she types back, slow down. You're making me hot. No, no, no. That is it. Now you can say, Hey, man, have you checked out the Jonas Brothers? And she could go. Yeah, they're really cool. But you always know you're dealing with a decoy when you're talking about c**k flogging, and she's talking about how hot you're making no. 13 year olds hopping c**k block. Yeah, I'm not even sure I know what that is. I'm 100 percent sure. I don't know what a c**ktail, you know, either. So that's how you should a know you're walking into a trap, right? The other part I like is when the guy says to Chris Hansen, I love when stupid guys search for an answer. So if you weren't here to have sex, why did you drive 17 hours? Guys give great answers like I just, you know, just go out, shoot some pool, have some beers, you know, good, like talking about a 13 year old or a pound, some brewskis and shoot a little sex was looking for a friend. You're 40 40. By the way, I want a separate worst prison built for you. Yes. If in fact, you just wanted to shoot some pool, right with a 13 year old who lived five counties away from you? Well, let's be fair to them. You got to go five counties because you don't want to run into the high school girl at the pawn shop. They got to get out of town. Right, right, right. So they can't risk. I love that. I love the fact and then I love this is the beauty of the computer. It's the great thing and the worst thing about the computer because you just said plausible deniability. Back in the day, like you just go, I I don't know its target of at right back before DNA computer time, code stamping, dashboard cams, fingerprinting. Could you imagine committing a crime 100 years ago, no matter what happened? You just be like this. I don't know what they're talking about. It's like the chick would be pointing at you going. He did break the overnight. I wait. I wasn't. There wasn't me. It's the great thing is, is like Chris Hansen to be like. So what did you talk about? We just we just talked a little sports. Anything sexual now, OK? He reaches for a folder and a picture of your genitalia. You sent a picture of your Hulk or terrorist as they always do that they always look, huh? This is one forty six a.m. Tuesday, December 19th. Two thousand and seven. Oh, OK. Here again. And now let's go ahead and jump forward to two thousand. This is two thousand and seven. This is December 19th. Now this is one fifty two. Am you right? Yeah. My c**k is lonely, but you know, it's like, really, your email address is right. No, that's not me. No, that's not me. We trace it back to the hard drive on your computer. See, that's the whole thing. There's no there's just no, not me. There's just there's just no no anymore. We have your s**t we had at the time. They also try to deny it. It's like, You're here, you're here. You wrote these e-mails. It all connects. No, that's not me, right? So what are you doing here? The only time there's then I love the fact when they go out to the guy's truck, yeah, he literally has a pony keg, a 55 gallon drum of water soluble lube. Did you think you were going to move to Mexico with this? Like, Hey, you know, she lives at home, right? Like best case scenario, her parents aren't around and you get forty five minutes in her bedroom, right? Did you really need a barrel of Jack Daniels and seventy five condoms like you? He doesn't know what's going to happen. You might have some friends over. It's whatever they pull out the guy's cars. Always. I agree. And then the only, but the only time I feel sorry for the guy is when he gets tackled. And I like when cops do the we're going to tackle you, whether we need it or not. You are not tackled, but guys always first off, the guys can feel it's like, Oh, what will you do? Because they always walk out? They can. Holy s**t, I got away with this. Like, OK, that's some TV thing. At least I'm not arrested. I know. And Hanson. By the way, Hansen has two. He's it isn't he should be sued because the guy the guy always goes like, Well, listen, I don't want any part of this enhance. It's like, Well, you're free to lead a living every time a guy like, Oh, great. Bullet Dodge, go out. There's walk it out the front. All the sudden. Sacramento P.D. Get on the fast guys jumps right one minute ago. Chris are telling you it's got, Oh, I got this long standing everybody. I'm giving you a mulligan. Get the heck, you would have tried it. The. Yeah, that that one. And then the poor guy as he's falling down because they're yelling, Get on, get on your knees. Ironically, get down your knees. The guy's heckling. I oh, you know, I always say, I don't feel bad for that guy. I it goes back to the dashboard thing. I feel bad that that guy showing up on TV now, his whole family sees that and his whole family ashamed. And it sucks that part. So I know everybody. I mean, obviously not, obviously, but. Nine times out of 10, these guys have kids, right? And I mean, that's got to be an awesome saw your dad on TV last night to imagine what do you do? You have to move. The worst is that there's another kid was young who wants to be millionaire? No deal. No deal. No. Oh, what was it on the big screen at the ballgame? I'm just go ahead and flip over all the cards. Oh, what was it then? It's highly rated. Oh yeah, it's prime time. Oh geez, what would that be? Oh, just what the surge? Oh, there were. Say there's some movement. First, Bergeron did host. He did step in for a minute. So I feel like it's the only show it's not doing. I feel like I'd like to see this. Why now? My new policy is if I ever cruise the internet as as as a predator, I am going to send a pizza over to the house before decoy the decoy. Right? Like, I'm just going to if this guy, if she's living at Twenty Nine Fifty Six Elm and I tell her I'll meet her at 6:00 in the evening. I'm calling Domino's right, saying I need a large pack. No actually small plane. So I'll just eat small cheese. Small, toasted sub san save a couple of bucks sent to twenty nine point fifty nine elm at five forty five, right. And then I will stand outside. See what happened if I see a camera crew step out, I'm going to keep driving. You know what? You're doing? God's work right there by helping people. And what is the worst case scenario? You've got a pizza waiting for you. When you show up hot dish, you got a hot dish. You know you say it's right. What's wrong with that? You have a nice slice. You drink some sweet tea, right? You have a toll house cookie. Wipe your hands on your shorts. Move on. I do like the way the guy's jaw. I'm a fan of it. I'm a fan. And it's like funny. You couldn't shave off like the crazy handlebar mustache just for this one. She's going to do it, she said on the line. She's under the handle. This place, the double date. She's crazy for it. She likes the Fred Goldman guy's got the three stage mullet, he's got the handlebar mustache, he's Charlie Daniels T-shirt. He's ready to go. There's a huge cut right out of it. I just want a friend. He's literally like smoking as he is tipping, but some dip as he walks in the water. Come on in. Who was right in? Even my friend says, I'm getting a laundry. Come in and I maybe wonder what's going on. I am so freaked out now that if I went home and I didn't have my keys and my wife, like, unlocked the door and said, Come on in, I'd be like, I'm good, right? What's up? What's up? Right? I'll wait. I'll be out here, right? Push the kids out. I'll say, Good night. Yeah, I stay out here. I 100 percent are not walking and you come out at the door to being trapped. Yeah, come on in. I got some things going on, really. I just drove 17 hours. Yeah. Meet me at the door. I agree horrible etiquette. And the other thing too is. The chick, I would make this argument, and again, I'm not looking for loopholes for these pedophiles, but the. I would make the argument that the actress they use is over 18. You want her to be over 18? Well, it is over. She is over 80 a ball cap. Does it matter, Jill or Tom? Boy, when I go in front of the judge, you say she's 18. She is 18. She's over eight, but sure, again, I have the papers here that she said she was 13, but everyone bulls**t on the inner hell. Read my wife's license says she's one hundred and twenty five pounds. My wife is my best friend, sir, I know. But what I'm saying is is, couldn't you say to the judge? Yes, I think you could. She showed up. She was 18. I would just go. Bottom line. The woman who answered the door might as she a minor or she an adult. Could you please answer me that question guy driving 17 hours to have sex with the teen? Is that smart? You think he uses that kind of logic? I would like to represent these chaps. Are you a lawyer? I feel like I could be for these guys. Absolutely. You want to go on to a business partner and Carolla, Prado and Carolla get my brother involved as we're Carolla parallel law firm Ricardo Carolla. Yeah. Get your brother involved. You don't use these guys. Do you think that would work for you? I am not an attorney. If you could afford Shapiro like in this day and age of. We have footage of you breaking into the condo and raping the woman. But the footage was taken illegally or without a, you know, they didn't get a permit or they didn't get a order from the judge, you know, so we have to throw it out. You know what I'm saying? The law is one big, fat technicality, right? I mean, it happens all the time. There's all the guys get let off all the time on technicalities. How about the fact that the chick was not a minor? I again, I not. OK, I'm not a lawyer, I'm not in the legal system at all. I can't answer this. All right. But I said, throw the book at them. All right, I'm with you. So Jimi Pardo, by the way, the podcast. Yeah, we started talking about that 45 minutes ago, at least, and we started talking about porn in teens. Yeah. What's your question? You do it without commercials. Well, you know what? Our free feed has commercials. Audible.com sponsors our free feed, and that is that's nothing. It's pennies, but our subscriptions are 20 bucks for twenty six episodes. And you know, which is, what, seventy seven cents an episode, basically. And if you sign up, you get all twenty six plus some bonus episodes, right? And or if you want video because we videotape it as well, that's twenty five bucks for twenty six episodes. And, you know, knock on sunblock, people are paying for it. I got it. And it's I mean, it's not, you know, I'm not coming off, you know, radio like you are with a gazillion people. I had to do it from the ground up and pray to God. People want to listen to it. But you know what? I don't know. It's the only thing I've been proud of. I mean, I've done a lot for sure, but I'm proud of it. I'm proud of this thing that I that it was pretty much grassroots that I'm now making a couple of bucks from. All right, that was Adam Crawshaw, 38, with Jimmy Pardo back in 2009. Coming up, we have Adam Crawshaw, 51, featuring Adam Scott from April 2009 as well. This one aired in May of 2009. Adam Cole Show 50 Year Hey Chris, let me give you a heads up a charity. Me and my wife are very much involved with. The Shakespeare Center of L.A. is doing two auctions on eBay. One is a tour of the warehouse. You can come out and see all my beautiful Italian cars and see the man show memorabilia and the others you can sit in on a podcast. So if you're a fan of this podcast, you're going to want to get in on this. By the way, if you want to attend the event itself, go to either my website at Adam Carolla dot com or go to eBay and look up Shakespeare Kegger. I'll be there May 23rd, two to six p.m. in beautiful Malibu hosted by me Jay Leno, Pat Oswald, Bob Saget and Jeff Ross. Everyone's doing comedy. The beer is going to be flowing. It's one hundred and fifty bucks a ticket, and it's all going to a great charity. So I'll see you Saturday, May 23rd in Malibu and go to eBay now to check out these auctions. Yeah, get it on. You got to get it on, no choice but to get it on. I want to welcome to the podcast, dear dear friend Adam Scott. Good to see you, Adam. You too, man. Adam, you probably know from Let's See The Aviator Six Feet Under Step Brothers The Great Buck Howard, which I heard was a really good movie, although I didn't see it. Monster in Law, which I did see and know was not a great movie. Also, let's see what other shows we talk about with you, where you're an actor that people definitely recognize but may not recognize by name. Right? But when people recognize you, they recognize you from party down a bit. You know, just in the past like week, people have started recognizing me from party down, which is good because I love party down, and it's a good sign that people might actually be watching it because it's on stars which people don't even know if they have stars. You're ironically the biggest star on stars, right? And which is a really bad sign for stars. It is. Well, I'll tell you where sign my movie the hammer. OK, that's. I want to cry. If I start crying, please stop me. First off, this independent film world is so f**ked up and in so nutty about it, we were like, what? A year ago we were like once once our movie Me and Kevin Handshake, I wrote, What is our movie coming out on cable? They're like, Oh, it's going to come out on Comedy Central somewhere between April and June of 09. And this is like April of 07 08 08. And we're like, God, really a whole year's going to be a whole year. And then we get we fast forward to April of 09 and we go, So when's our movie coming out? And they go, Oh, between April and June 2010? And we go, really? Because we made the movie about the Beijing Olympics from 06 or 07 or whatever, it was really that that far away. And they're like, Yeah, and then at a certain point, my partner just typed in our movie into TiVo and it came up like, it's on, it's on. But who is giving you the information that it would be on in 2010? These these are the guys from The Weinstein Company. Nobody knows anything is the first thing you realize when you when you come to Hollywood, nobody really officially know. And if they do, they're probably not going to tell you all of the truth. They'll probably tell you part of it because they need to protect themselves from something else. And the one part they tell you, they'll tell you, you can't tell anybody else. It's like, I'm going to tell people the one eighth of a story of the s**tty, convoluted story you gave me. That's mostly bulls**t anyway. But don't tell anyone. So the the movie came out and it did come out and it was on. I wasn't on Starz. I think it was like on Cinemax action or whatever it is. But the sad part is my buddy. Kevin Hench says he basically just backed the brakes truck up to the satellite dish place and said, Give me everything you have every package, every porno, every everything. And he doesn't have Cinemax action, so if he doesn't have it, who the f**k does what? What is is that just like HBO, you get HBO and you get like seven HBO. That's one of the Cinemax is one of those because I don't have Cinemax, but I have Starz and I have HBO, but I don't. I don't know why I have all of the stars, either. And let me, Adam, let me ask you this. Now I know when I interview myself here. Sure. Can you tell me as an actor how this works, how something like The Tudors works, right? It must cost them millions of dollars to play in that kind of period production, right? I don't The Tudors is on Showtime, right? I don't. I'll tell you, I've never announced where's my long winded period piece from friendly 15 somethings? I'm canceling this. Are you asking me who the f**k is watching The Tudors? No, I'm asking you, who the f**k is greenlighting millions of dollars to be made on The Tudors? When if I was just going across HBO or Cinemax or Showtime and I saw Caddyshack three, I'd be like, All right, I'm fine. Yeah. What will that do? Well, the thing about The Tudors or something like The Tudors or Showtime or HBO or Starz for that matter, since Starz is actually in more homes than Showtime, really, it is. The thing about these channels is, is that and I heard this weird statistic and this is that these companies make all this money because people get Showtime or HBO or Starz, and they don't cancel them unless they move because they just forget about it. And until they're like moving their cable system and reassessing what they have, they usually don't bother to cancel it. So whether you're using Starz or any of these channels or not, you're just giving them 12 bucks a month without even really. So they have so much money. I don't know. I mean, I know that Starz is is is cool, and it seems like HBO and Showtime. I think it's all kind of the same thing. Like they all just because think about if you have, say, 30 million subscribers and you're getting twelve bucks a month from each one of them, you're doing all right. Yeah. But I would always be the one like someone would come to me and they'd go, I want to do Ben Franklin the mini series. And I'd be like, f**k it, or run and Billy Jack again. We already own we have their twelve dollars. We have their twelve dollars. It cost us four dollars to run Billy Jack. And by the way, for the stoners that are up at 4:30 in the morning, they probably like to see Tom Loughlin kick some gear, kick some red headed a*s. I wonder how much it actually does cost to run Billy Jack. It's got to be under five cents at this point. I don't know, but that if anyone wants to know what the 70s was like, just watch Billy Jack that there's every cliche in the world. And thank God we don't have this anymore. You kids, you young kids that are listening do not have to put up with the with the white guy from Iowa who adapted the American Indian persona. God, Billy Jack, where's Billy Jack? He's up with the elders talking to the rattlesnakes right following the Shaiman. Like what? He's the white. He's whiter than I am. His name is Tom Loughlin. What it is that cheap squatting Billy Jack is a s**tty name. Like, they want something more exotic. They should go for it. They made 15 movies about Billy Jack and was all it was. All just redheaded guys from the city who are just beating up the Indians are up on the hill and raping everyone by the side of the lake, and he was using kung fu and s**t back when it was magical. Remember when? Remember the the love interest for the first one? Yes. Like the sorry looking like dowdy hippie girl that just freaked the s**t out of me as a kid. You know, I watched your movies again. It was like Billie Eilish to say no to more violence. And then next thing you know, the guy is raping her by the lake. And I'm like, nine years old. I'm saying to my mom, Mom, are you really? And it's a that was a film your mom wanted you. Yeah, my mom was like, You got to learn to watch. You don't understand how evil blue eyed people are. Now you have to come. Come on. Hello. We're white mom. Really, we just got done watching roots now. I got to be dragged to this s**t. I'm going to kill myself. I'm nine. I'm going to fall on an otter pop and kill myself. Whoever that girl is, she makes Sondra Locke seem like, I don't know. She she can. She makes her. She makes her seem like, Oh my god, there's no Sondra Locke and Jenny McCarthy. Yeah. Jenny McCarthy. She makes Sondra Locke seem like Jenny McCarthy. Like probably Billy Hot. First off, she seemed like she was 20 years older than Billy. Mm hmm. She seemed like she'd never put on sunblock a day in her life, and she was so bummed out who raped her. Donna, you got to. You got. It was bikers or something? No, no. It was the rich kid from hell. Of course, the materialistic. Right? He had the Corvette, right? And his name was Bernard. It was a good but cheap for fifty four. Yeah, she named it. She called like Bernard, but she would pronounce it different, like Bernard or something. And there was a scene where he actually put steaks down in the ground and slashed her hands. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Raping her by the side of the river. And then she'd be like. Billy, Billy, don't avenge these your finances. Oh my God. Dolores Taylor, there it is. Violence down there. That whole movie was just one huge bummer. And then Billy went. But you know, it's all in the sunshine, and I do love it too. Like the nice Indian kids came down from the hill, the hippie kids. They just went to the free range school up on the hill, and by the way, the hill where their school was and they were up on the school. The school wasn't sitting on a mineshaft that had millions of dollars in oil reserves underneath it. Right. The white man just went up there and f**ked with them for no good reason. Right. And I want to say this as a white guy, we f**k with people for money, right? Not because we're a*****es. Right now, we might be a*****es while we're f**king with them for the money. But we don't burn a lot of calories like like if you're down in the town and the sheriff goes, let's get in the four wheel drive and go up the hill and go, f**k with the Indians. Someone's going to go there. They don't have any money who gives a s**t. Let's go right. Some parking tickets and drink some beer, right? But they would go up there and f**k with them the whole time. And then the Indians. And then there's Indians and hippies. They'd come down and like, go like, Hey, let's go get some ice cream and they'd walk into the shop like, you know, you're kind. Not welcome here. Like what years? This makes sense. It's 1973, really? You're right. Like, if they just put the school on top of some valuable piece of land, something it would have provided just a little bit more entertainment. Little motor, because I had to sit through that g*****n f**king movie like four times as a kid and I hated it every and my friend's dad. That's why I had to see it. My friend's dad loved it and made us watch it. Even even the whole song was the whole Billy Jack song was the one tin soldier, and at the end of the song was like they turned over the rock and the rocket said Peace on Earth was all it said. Even in the song, there wasn't s**t under the rock, right? There was nothing. There wasn't anything. It was just one big bummer. It was like, Who was that? How old are you, by the way? Adam, 36? You're a little bit young for Billy Jack, but you were forced to what I never really meant to know they had a lot of them. I only saw the first one, but I saw a bunch of times and hated it. It was just the biggest bummer you've ever seen. Did you see the other ones? I saw Billy. I saw the trial of Billy Jack. I saw Billy Jack, Billy Jack courtroom drama. That sounds riveting. Billy Jack goes to Washington, of course. Like, literally runs for senator. Sure. And guess what? He's he can't be bought. I know I saw that one coming. A lot of Big Oil companies trying to buy Billy. I couldn't recall that couldn't have, never could have seen that one. But I bet. I bet that he taught them a thing or two something about themselves. Did he use these kung fu on the floor of Congress? I think he did it to fill a filibuster or something, but it was such a jack off blowhard fest. The 70s were so full of blowhard white dudes. And like I said, especially the white dude who got really invested in the Native American cause. Yeah, that was the number one blowhard on the block. Well, Jim Morrison, maybe you can maybe blame him for that. He started it. Marlon Brando and he definitely went there, giving Chief Lillard put over there to pick up his Oscar. It's probably a disaster. The Indian by the side of the road crying, I think may have gotten everything kicked off. We went through this weird thing where we decided, you know what we f**ked with the Indians long enough. Now let's really let's go nuts on them, but only for like two years, and then we'll toss them back onto the reservation and let them die of diabetes. Well, it's like it was like the the Green Movement of the past twenty six months, right? Of of 72 through 76, maybe it was. Maybe it was just lip service. And yeah, usual probably amounted to maybe some awareness, but nothing of any real no, no no one gave me helping anyone out. No, I don't. I don't know who you grew up around. You grew up in Santa Cruz, I guess, and it was pretty progressive group over there. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. And your family did what, teachers? Mm hmm. So they were kind of down with the cause. They were, yeah, but they were also they're also pretty, you know, cynical people. So well, it's not like they were, you know, they're cool. They're not like, you know, I guess Santa Cruz is kind of hippie ish, right? We were never I mean, they would maybe a little hippie ish. No, no. But it was always kind of a cynical household, which I think kind of served me well. A lot of Santa Cruz, California, is just logistically amazingly beautiful. It is. It is. Yeah, yeah. And is it? Is it two thirds of the way to San Francisco from L.A.? It's it's like a 90 minute drive. The San Francisco, once you're in Santa Cruz, maybe an hour sometimes, so it's three quarters of the way, yeah, it's pretty close. And would you go in to San Francisco a lot? I never really did. Like if I go to San Francisco now, I just don't know my way around it all, like I never really got into going up there. Santa Cruz sounds too sane a place to grow up like he ever do that. When you're like going on a vacation or a ski trip or something and you're driving up to the top of, you know, some Mountain Bear Mountain or some Mount Pinos or something, and you see a school at the top of it. But it's a public school and you're like, Who goes to this public school, right? Like, someone actually drives up and goes here and then lives in this area. And if they do, how white, insane must their life be like you ever see those like once a year? I go out to Pebble Beach for the big car concourse extravaganza and there's a high school there that you drive past. That's literally like on the highway and it's the ocean. Where do you have will be? OK, yeah. And it's like a high school that looks like it's like overlooking the Ocean Bay, and it's picturesque and it's beautiful. And I think it's almost too nice. Like, isn't your high school supposed to have a little graffiti and one big black kid you're scared of? And not not not. You shouldn't be out surfing before in between classes or at lunch? Yeah, I guess Santa Cruz is a little idyllic. I didn't really realize that until I came here, like coming to I moved to Pasadena when I was 18, right after high school, and I remember like flying in. It was when I came to like, audition for this acting school with my dad flying in and looking down over just the miles and miles of s**t, right? Coming into L.A. just like just horrible. Just, I mean, from an airplane, it's all smog and it looks terrible, and it just looks like you're flying over a bunch of gray mousetraps. The sticks, just like the sticky traps, just a bunch of boxes. And then every once in a while, there's a clearing or a pool or a pool. And, you know, I wonder what high school that is. And then you fly over it and then you fly, fly over Hollywood Park and then you land. But you think, Jesus, it is s**t. What the f**k is this? Well, the thing about the thing about flying into L.A. and, you know, maybe it's maybe it's intentional. And some of it's got to do with, you know, the poor people and everyone flying over. But the flight into L.A., you fly over the s**ttiest part of L.A. It's not like you go, Oh, there's where O.J. lived, right? And oh, there's there's Aaron Spelling saying, if you did fly over those spots, they would be so small that you would barely notice them as the nice areas of town are not vast, like the s**tty areas. Yeah, like it's just miles of like of like warehouses and you're flying over like East L.A. Yeah, I'm thin and like city of industry. Yeah, walked away. And this goes on forever. Yeah, just it's all the s**ttiest parts. And I mean, maybe I like it, by the way, which is don't get too comfortable people. It's not all the Rose Parade. Yeah, so they fly. Yeah, they fly over there. And then you're going to you're going to go to the Pasadena. Yeah, I went to this the American Academy of Dramatic Arts when I was 18. But. Anyway, so moving to Pasadena was a it was kind of I kind of realized right away that Santa Cruz was kind of this this amazing kind of a unique made. You appreciate it. Yeah. I mean, I was glad to leave just because it's such a small place and I was ready to kind of, you know, moved to a city. But yeah, it's very different. I mean, a lot of like pot and it's a, you know, I got I really got to smoke pot or because everybody kind of smokes pot in Santa Cruz, in Santa Cruz. Yeah. So I I think like by the time I was midway through high school, everyone I knew was a complete stoner. Yeah, it's kind of like, I don't know, was it like that here? Well, in the valley? Well, the way the way was, probably it was, right? Well, well, you're talking to. I was a jock, and so I didn't. I didn't really smoke. I mean, what happened? Were you really? Yeah. What happened with me is, Oh, football, right? Yeah, I played football and baseball, but mainly football. But I I smoked pot like a little like like the experimental high school junior high. Like, do you think, are you high? I think I'm hot. Do you think you're high? I think we're high. Are you high? There was that my mom had a pot plant in her backyard and I showed my friend Hamid, and it was gone the next day, by the way. So he just stole. There's just a hole there where I got pulled out of out of the drone. I'm guessing it was my old buddy Hamid, who I think is in jail now for doing that. I'm sure much worse to many more. But yeah, he was a troublemaker, so I smoked pot early and then later on I sort of became a jock and then I was like, Oh, gee, I guess jocks don't get high? Sure, sure. So I was just pretty much in the weight room and playing football and all that stuff. I wasn't a dicky jock. I wasn't judgmental. But then later on, when I got out of high school, Donnie, I'd say, me and you, when we're living in our apartment in North Hollywood, that was that was probably my hardest phase. Yeah, I'd say, Oh, wait, were you guys talking about this place the other day with someone on the podcast? It was hilarious. We had it. We had a one bedroom apartment in North. So much f**king discuss. It is Donny. Donny and I were the first guys to move out, so we got a couple of things that happen. When you're the first guy in your group to get a car, then guess who's driving? Yeah. And when you're the first guy in your group to get an apartment? Guess who's going to be f**king in your living room, right? Every single guy who has a girlfriend and doesn't have his own pride. So, ah, I never I could never believe the girl that girls would do that stuff like went when I was in my early 20s. Could you believe that girls would actually do that like they would go and have sex with someone in the living room while there the place was filled with other dudes like, well, girls would actually do that stuff. Yeah, when we kept a low profile, Dani in my head would come around the hall like it wasn't really like it was kind of a cartoon Donny, you know, about three foot off the ground, me about four foot off the ground, and it would come around because we'd hear our third roommate getting it on. God knows what he dragging on on any given Saturday night. But our apartment became the official pot smoking right and girlfriend banging headquarters for the valley because we were the first guys. It was like 7-Eleven. It was like open seven days a week, 24 hours a day. People, people would just swing by with chick any day and park night and I'll be sleeping and people would just there'd also be there was this. There was a couple of things. There'd be the we were living with our buddy, Chris, who got laid, but that's not stopping. And so you'd hear you'd literally it'd be Saturday night at 4:30 in the morning and you just hear somebody going down Laurel Canyon Crenshaw. And then peel out, oh, yeah, well, all the time there'd be there'd be that person, then there'd be our jack a*s friends who would a Donnie had a bong that was four feet tall and the face was an inch and a half wide. Like this notion that you're going to take this cane and fill it with bong water, right and put it on the super nappy carpet and have everyone get baked out of their minds and drunk out of minds. And this thing that's just thin is a cane will never fall over. Never get broken bones should be wider than they are tall, but not not. Well, it's a foot for every centimetre. The base is right. It should be the other way around. Did you make it yourself, Donnie? Was it? No, no. I was a regular head shop kind of bong butt. But how many times did it get? Not just for everybody else. It was Dan who knocked the damn thing over, repeated it shatter ever. No, just spill bong water all over there, right in the middle of room. And it would reek of just, oh wait, why are bongs? Why are people? Why do people want bongs to be a giant thing in the room? It doesn't get you more high, but when you're doing it, you know, I know. But still, even when I was 21, I was like, You can take that down a little bit. You don't know. Well, first off, who wants something you need to hide from the cops or your stepdad to be the size of a Winnebago? You can't shove that up your a*s. Yeah, he wants some. You can pom or keister. No problem. No throw. Yeah. Let me get a hand truck and a cherry picker and a flatbed so we can move. My dad's coming right? Oh, it's not going to fit into the closet. It's actually too big. Yeah. Who wants that? No. So I don't understand. No, my well, my buddy Doug. What about he? Doug had a bong that he made out of PVC pipe that was like, you know, the whole like. No. Although we'll talk to him, I'm sure he had one that was bigger this guy had when it looked like it was from the recall, a commercial like the guy's like blowing it up, looking out the Matterhorn, like literally. It was a two manner. Like, it was like, Hey, I'm going to man the business end of the bong. Doug, can you hear me? I can't see you right. Go down to that end of the ball you funk that is sparking this bong. Yeah. So we had a bong that would get knocked over all the time and that bong water stinks. Thirst? No, it is. It's right up there with cat piss is a matter of fact. If a cat would piss in a bong, yeah, that would be the most pungent. Like if you're making, you're looking for things that you can't get out of a carpet. Yeah, that soak into the padding underneath it. Cat piss and power and water. Ah ah, and you could burn some hair and let it let the smoke seep into the carpet. Right? I wonder what was worth for Jim, the landlord either us spilling the bong and the rabbits and the cats and everything or the indoor waterfall before we move in? Well, a guy did have an indoor waterfall that was already in there. Yeah, yeah. Across the that's yeah. And but he changed the carpet when we moved in because of the waterfall. And I guess I remember giving him the speech of less and we're just hard working young guys here. You know, my motto is early to bed, early to rise, and you probably believed it when you dead telling him that I didn't know what it was going to turn into. And at a certain point, Donnie just said, f**k it, I'm going home. Like Donnie couldn't take the debauchery. Really, you you. You actually moved out kind of year, went to your parents. You couldn't sleep. You couldn't like if you tried to set goals for yourself. There's no way, no way and it gets sidetracked every single. I think what sent Donny over the edge just when we had a whole bunch of like bootleg quaaludes and our friend like Oded on them and Donnie grabbed the sack of Quaaludes and he said, I'm flushing them down the toilet and I tackle them like I block them from the bathroom. Like Donnie, some of us still want to get high responsibly. We're not all the sewer side mission here. And then Donnie ran outside, started burying them in the lawn, burying quaaludes, and I started jumping and stepping on my way. Did you freaking out? Did your friend die for no deal? No. But he was high for a week. Yeah. You're not lying high for a while. I've never had a Quaalude. What's a Quaalude do? Is it just make you? Is it what the girl and Billy Jack took the four scenes? It's like drinking a six pack but not feeling drunk and think that sounds really fun. Think if a guy was think think of like NyQuil? Yeah, but if we're really bad a*s chemists from the Bay Area came up with it like a heavyweight guy. All right. Like, all right, I'm going to make NyQuil, but times 20, you know, and these weren't even real quaaludes. They were like bootleg, fake, like s**tty off, like s**tty knock. I don't even know what, like maybe even over the counter a little bit. Who even knew? I didn't even know what was in these things? All I knew is bootleg biker quaaludes. Or so it was like Donny's throwing away. A perfectly very untrustworthy. We didn't give a s**t, but I was like, Donny, you're not going to throw away perfectly good drugs on my watch. Yeah, yeah, I did. So I was probably the the my party iest phase was probably living in that apartment, right, Donny? Yeah. After that, you slowed down with the the the weed, and I never I quickly majorly hit here. I quickly learned that pot slowed things down too much. Yeah. And since my life was miserable. Yeah. Like here was my life. I was either working construction with a bunch of racist a*****es or Mexicans or whoever and a bunch of idiots. And I didn't want that slow down or I was sitting in my apartment with no air conditioning in North Hollywood, sweltering, you know, eating top ramen and kicking fat chicks out that my friends have been banging. So I didn't want anything to slow down. Well, not only does it slow it down, but it makes you sit and analyze what's happening around you. At least that's what it does to me. And if I was, you know, if the first, you know, seven years I was out here, if I was just sitting in my apartment, not working with no air conditioning, if I got stoned, all I would do is sit there and think about how horrible this is. And it would make everything way worse. Yeah, I know Pot's good when things, when things are going well. I completely agree. But you don't want to sit around and think about your horrible life when you're stoned. And I made the mistake of getting stoned at work once at like 6:45 in the morning and hanging drywall. And I just remember thinking, Oh, when is lunch? Why you're staring down the barrel of eight hours of, Oh, I'm so miserable. Plus, we drive walled over every light socket and an outlet in the room, which was funny. So Adam, you come out here, you're going to go to the Pasadena Academy and you graduate. I graduated in ninety three and then moved to Hollywood. Like, I didn't know anyone. I don't, you know, if this happened now, there's no way I would do any. You must have been a good actor in high school, though, right? I was. But you know, everybody's a good actor in high school. I mean, I always thought I was and I was pretty c**ky. Otherwise I wouldn't have moved to L.A. and we had to audition for the academy, right? Yeah, but I mean, come on. I mean, at least that first year, at least when I went there, like, I got there and I was like, Wow, I could. I can't believe I got into this school is amazing and everyone at high school and my whole family was all really proud of me. It was like a huge deal. And then I get there and the first day of school, you see everyone like do a scene or a monologue or something. Everyone in the cla*s. Mm-Hmm. I was like, Oh man, these people are terrible. Like, they'll just let anyone in. It wasn't as prestigious as you thought, right? But then the second year they cut out like three quarters of them. Oh, really? Yeah. But anyway, to graduate. So I graduated, I went to Hollywood and just started like trying to get an agent and stuff like, you know, I was 20. I didn't know what the hell I was. Was like a two year program. It was a two year program. It's basically like a trade school. And you're you're an actor. Yeah, I mean, you know, first, you know, I understand like the like stand up comedian round, like where people go. Yeah, yeah. So my friends told me they pushed me up on stage, sure. And then I started doing open my eyes and the manager liked me, so asked me if I wanted to start opening for this guy. Tuesdays and I work the door and I got a lot of stage time, though, and someone would drop out. But just the cold, the audition, just the I'm an actor and I'm just going to go from one place to another with my headshot seems impossible for me. Totally. It's awful. I can't believe like I think back on those early days and and I'm so glad that it's it's over. It was terrible. It's a it's a horrible, it's a really tough thing to break into. And it took a long, long time for me. You know, it took forever and it's still like, you know, I'm still kind of like it just took. It took years and years and years, but I think initially I just started like I got some weird manager that charge me a monthly fee. And right through that, I got in. I got like pretty quickly. I got like a guest spot on on an MTV show or something. And so I kind of started working quickly. But then it took like seven years to get to something that actually like, made a difference. But you know, I worked that whole time just doing like guest spots and stuff. And again, I just it seems staggering. But yet, he continued, You persevered. Yeah. And you get little like bits and pieces. But you think back when you look at your life, you think back on those days and you're like, What the f**k was I thinking? And why didn't I kill myself 10 times over? Exactly. And as I always argue with Donny because Donny was there for the whole thing. Yeah. And Donny. Always says I was always explaining to them how miserable I was, right? And he's like, You weren't miserable. We had a good time. Like, why didn't you have a good time? And I always would say to Donnie, if somebody would have tapped me on the shoulder and said, luck. By the time you're 31, you'll be making hundreds of thousands of dollars. You'll be fine. You'll be in radio. You'll be on a syndicated radio show. There's something called, you know, that comedy network. You'll be doing something. I would have said, good, let's let's rip a bong load, right and enjoy ourselves. But it never seemed like it was going to work out right. And I think you were the one that was most aware of worrying about tomorrow. Like, What the hell am I doing five or 10 years from now? All of us were just we had such a good time, though. I know what every day was like a crazy new, except you were the one that was like he was thinking, What the f**k I need? Well, what am I going to do the chance here? Like what? Well, here's here's how he would join in with the WHO by liking every now and then Sunday morning. I feel almost the opposite. I feel like if someone tapped me on the shoulder in 1993 and said in 2009, you're going to have like somewhat of a career and you're going to be on like a radio show being interviewed about yourself, but not until then. I feel like maybe instead of ripping a bong load, I probably would have just gone back to Santa Cruz. Oh yeah, that would take that long. Yeah, yeah. Well, for me, you know, for me was always the Magic Age was 30. Like I said, because you're in your 20s, even if you're twenty nine and a half, you're still in your 20s. You can rip bong loads and have fun and do whatever. I mean, it's like we had an apartment we had as Space Invaders and what we had centipede and we charge. I said, Donnie, you're not giving these f**kin all these loafers coming over smoking our weed, f**king their girlfriends. And then they wanted to play Space Invaders dur- during the refractory period. And I was like on the telephone and the chicks on the phone the whole time back to the phone used to cost money. And I'm like, Donnie, you don't f**king it's a quarter to play a game. You're not doing the freebie button on the day. And so at the end of the month, we'd have like sixty three dollars worth of quarters. And we got to set it up for a quarter for like three plays. Yeah, we do that. We'd go get some. We'd go down to the movies and watch a movie, go eat pizza. And yeah, it's good. It was good times. It was smart on his part, Donnie, our friends. Here's the situation that we had. We had two groups of friends. We had well, mostly we had the group of friends, we had the group of friends whose parents were like doing all right and who maybe had some kind of business, you know, and kind of knew that they could always move home or their parents wouldn't put them out on the street, or they could always take up with their dads, auto business or insurance business or something like that. We didn't know a ton of those people, but we know a handful of them. The other guys we knew were just impulsive and nuts and almost more animals than human beings like our buddy Chris at a certain point. Our buddy Chris Elihu, the guy who almost owed. He got into a fistfight with a guy on PCH, right? He gets in a fist fight with the guy he's like on the freeway, just just on the side of the road. There's like a party is on fire and everybody's leaving and drunk. At that point in, a fight breaks out. So he beats Adam, and I like Adam's like, Let's get the hell out. And nothing's happened. He beats a guy up and the guy gets into his Volkswagen bug and runs him over like he literally just ramps it. OK? And Chris is super human and literally ruptures his spleen or like has some internal bleeding and breaks his forearm. But other than that, he's fine, but he's like run over by a car. He's near the top. From what the description I heard was like over the top, flying in the air and lands down right in the parking lot. All right. So at the end of the whole thing. Now his dad, by the way, here's how his family's doing. His dad. I'm sorry. I had to come before he checked into jail, going head to head like a two week grace period or something, and literally had to flop on our sofa for like two weeks before he, then his dad volunteer voluntarily incarcerated himself. OK, so they don't have any money? Yeah. And Chris is not a hillbilly. He's he's, you know, he knows what he's doing, right? And at a certain point, like two months later, he gets a check from the insurance company for like thirteen thousand three hundred eighty six dollars. And I just basically said to him, Listen, you're never going to see this money ever again. Yeah, I put the down payment on a condo or something. Do something because you're just it's going to go up your nose, you're going to piss it away. And he's like, I'm going to Hawaii. I know I'm moving to, I'm moving to Hawaii. I'm going to go pay high rent in Hawaii for six months and then I'll be out of money. So, you know, Chris, so he get free rent. Yeah, we met up. Some hot chicks have put him up, but the point is is he took his thirteen thousand dollars. He went to Hawaii and he came home four months later with no money and a bunch of guys looking for him. So my point is like three guys like our friends were either the guys that had a parachute. Yeah, or the guys, it just didn't give a f**k that. They're like, Listen, I'm not going to live to 30 anyway, so let's party, right? I was the only one who was like, my parents are poor and depressed, and I'm I don't have a place to go, and I know I'm going to make it to 30 and I'm not going to have car insurance, right? It's going to suck. And I just didn't want to like I was like, I want a house. Yeah, if I have kids, I'd like to support them. And I don't see how any of this is going to work, right? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I really thought about the future that clearly. But I also I was always kind of worried about everything. And like in high school, my friends would take acid and I would just go with them. But I would never actually take acid, too, because I was too freaked out about, like messing up my the track I was trying to put myself on. It was like this weirdly kind of right brained. Is it right brained if you're really like goal or yes? Yeah, the left is supposed to be more creative, but you are right brained about the left hemisphere. But I don't I don't think I knew I was. I think I was just kind of behaving that way because I just thought I was going to go, Do this, go be a movie star. And you know, and then just where you didn't have, you know, didn't have as much fun as the other guys. How did it happen that you took to this? Like I remember, there were school plays and things like that, but I didn't really even think of it as an actual career choice until many years after high school. Right? How did you come upon it? I don't know. I just liked it, and I think I always wanted to. But I never told anyone because it sounded to like gay or something, you know? And and all the other kind of theater kids at the high school. Everyone made fun of them and stuff. So I didn't want to seem like I was into it, so I didn't tell anyone. But I kind of just started doing it, and I just wanted to go make be in movies or because probably like Raiders of the Lost Ark or something like that, right? You were inspired. Right? So I don't know. I just kind of always wanted to do that. And I had terrible grades and stuff, so I didn't really have any other options, either. It's not like I could go to an actual college. I mean, what? What what would you be doing like? What are your other interests? What enjoy it? You know, I don't I mean, I don't I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I like I always wanted to be a rock journalist. I thought that would be fun, like go on tour with. But I'm not a very good writer, so probably be s**tty rock journalist. I don't know. I mean, I never had many other interests other than movies and. And I'm not really even that into theater like I. I did it when I was starting, but I don't have any ambition to really go do that. I would rather make movies. We have an old connection because your wife was our assistant. Yeah, for I think one season of the man show and then probably anchor and then got moved up to something, maybe on cranky anchors stand out. You were probably dating her at the time or you're not married. You started with you guys. When we were, we had a year where we were broken up a full year and she started with you guys during that year. Yeah. And then we got back together, and Kimmel had started very attractive, by the way. And she did she ever tell you any horror stories about us? Yeah, really? Yeah, tons. I hear mostly about Daniel. Nothing good about me. No, it's all good about you. All right. He adores you. All right. And he really does. I didn't. Hassler. No, no, no. There's Naomi now. Yeah, she's beautiful. And the thing the thing about the reason I was like, Well, you know, it was kind of funny because it's weird when someone gives you an assistant. Right? I see you're she was Daniel's assistant. That was always you, Jimmy and Daniel's. Well, this is the this is the funny thing. It was me, Jimmy and Daniel Daniel Carlson. This guy did the man show and then crank anchors and all that kind of stuff. Jimmy and me did not understand showbusiness. Daniel understood show business. So when Comedy Central said We will get the three of you, an assistant, Daniel essentially made her or him into his assistant. Right? And didn't really say anything goes right. And then even later on, when I would get an assistant, I'd be like, Oh, I got a situation because I got a bunch of s**t at the dry cleaners that I'm supposed to get. Except for I have to do a table read, right? So. I could go during a lunch, but or could you go and pick it up? I mean, but don't tell anybody I don't want. Here's another dollar. Just like, go do this because this is what you're supposed to do. The notion, Donnie, I don't know if you're on the mike or you can. You can hear me hear me now. Yes, I can. I come from the worst family in the world to ever have an assistant because my whole family was like, Why should we cook you dinner? Right? So the idea that I'd have somebody and that person would just sit there the whole day and go, What do you want me to do for you? I'd go, I'm going to go to my car and get some books out of the back, and they'd go, I could do it and I'd go, Oh, no, no, you don't have that. You don't have to do that. Yeah, but you got in the swing of things. Oh, now I've figured it out. Yeah, my assistant, J. I get a blowjob from him every morning at six forty five before we even begin the day I'm, I set my Starbucks on his head. That's amazing. I read a racing form while he performs for Oral, but at the beginning, when your beautiful wife Naomi was our assistant, me and Jimmy didn't know what to do with an assistant. So we did. And you guys are like nice guys, so I can see you taking a little while to figure out, you know, that sort of thing like, it is kind of an awkward, especially if you're just like guys coming from radio or whatever kind of an awkward transition to all of a sudden. Have a person at your disposal to like, go do stupid s**t for you, right? And it was it was awesome because Daniel would use our assistant. Well, first thing, first season. He just hires a hot checkers and by the way, Naomi hot chick, but somehow somehow exotic enough to somehow dodge the hot blonde attitude. Right? Right. Right. Our first assistant was just a twenty two year old hot chick, and she would just pull. She would sometimes just walk into the office at like, noon, 1:00 1:30, you know, because she's hot and she's hot. I'd be like, Hey, Candace. Long night last night. And she'd like, not particularly. And then she'd walk right past me to sit down. I'd go, Oh yeah, you're seven hours late. And she'd go, like, Yeah, I woke up late. I'd be like, Oh, that's hot, chick. She's on. She's an amazing woman, right? Right now. She was completely nice, but that was like. And Daniel would tell her, my car's in the shop. Yeah, you want me to pick it up? No, I want to mate. I want you to make sure they're working on it. Not f**king around. So go down there, just stand next to it. And he would literally just dispatch our assistant to just go hang out at, you know, Nissan. If Lapointe, they just and it'd be like, Where's Candice all day? Like, she's down at the dealership, just waiting still on these on a good day. She eventually got out of there and got to Colorado or something at some point. But yeah, that was a Daniel using our assistant as his assistant. So I think I think your wife was under that regime when me and Jimmy didn't know any better, I didn't know what to do. And also, I was like, You can't tell a chick to go out and go clean your car out or go take your card in a car wash. It's bulls**t. You should be doing that to a guy assistant. Then you started. Let me. Yeah, having him do like crazy. Yeah, let me let me explain something said, Go move my Ferrari, Jay, here's what you want. By the way, just to say no. Can Jay give me a blowjob while I'm here? If if I tell him to, yeah, that would be terrific. He's my sister. Okay, I here's the thing here's what I've realized you don't want chicks and you don't want gays. Because whether you know it or not and you gays admit it, you gotta admit it. You hide under the chick blanket with the chicks. You get all. You get your panties in a bunch and you get all chickie and you get out of all the heavy lifting you don't have. I have. I had a gay assistant and I'd be like, Man, go down to my truck and get the and I could just see his face starting to change. And I'd be like, f**k it, I'll go get the cinder blocks out the back of the truck and move him up to the whatever. Because you don't understand, and please don't call me a bigot or sexist or whatever you're going to call me. You treat gays like chicks. You don't even know it, but you do. When the when you get some dude who's just some luck had played a little junior college football and he's your assistant, you. We've had those guys. We had a guy named Gavin. It'd be like, Hey, Gavin, why start doing ups? Why? Because I'm bored. Just dumb. You don't even like, all right, boss. And you just have you just f**k around with them. You just tell em. Gavin, get my car. Go fill it up with gas. Go douche out the trunk. Make sure no s**t in there and take that box office. What if? What if it's a gay guy that's like, incredibly fit and has huge muscles? You still won't tell the gay guy to go do like the s**t. Work like I could remember telling my gay assistant like, look, you got to go to the Home Depot and pick up something and was like, Oh, please, really? Mr. So it was like it didn't work and I realized you do the same thing you do with a chick. Like, you wouldn't look at a chick and go, go, go. Take all the heavy s**t that's in the trunk of my car and bring it upstairs to my office and your us. Unless you're Daniel Gallagher. So you don't want gay guys and you don't want chicks. And then the chick part is the whole sexual harassment part and all that thing. And then the gay part, you get that stuff too. No chicks, no gays, just long haired guys. Sure. And also, those guys will take a bullet for you too. Like you just need some big old now. Look, maybe he doesn't know WordPerfect or maybe doesn't type 80 words a minute, but you will get some big, dedicated bounce. I would love to have an assistant. I'm not in a position to have one, and nor will I be anytime soon, but I could imagine it would be amazing just to have some work to do. Oh my God, everything blowjob. The aforementioned blowjob. I mean, other than blowjobs, I can't really think of anything, but I would just have him blow me all day and all night. The the amount I feel like I said my poor assistant now, Jay, I got that guy bill in the garage and detailing cars. Oh, I just got a f**king laundry list of detail, a car. I have cause learning. I've taught the house how to build a garage and he's just that straight dude from Chicago. And he's he's Adam's best, insisting he must be so he's into it. No, Naomi was my best assistant because she was beautiful. Beautiful. She's also very we're about to go on a big trip and she's organized like she. She has the power of like nine travel agents. Really? Yeah. Like she had her organizational skills or she shared same, very short top. And I'm an idiot when I go and I have absolutely no interest in getting a trip together. Like if I did, it would be a disaster. But I don't, so I just can't do it. But I never want to go anywhere. That's my problem. I got too much s**t going on here that I never get to that I feel like I don't want to go somewhere else. Yeah. And plus when you live in Southern California, especially when you're driving distance to, you know, either the Bay Area or the Grand Canyon and or whatever, it's like it feels weird. Or, you know, my thing is always like, why are we getting on a plane when you're 70 is five hours away? That's the most spectacular place on the planet. It is. It's beautiful. I know it sounds like bulls**t, but it really every time you go to one of those places, you see a bunch of people that flew in from Tokyo. So why are you getting on an airplane? I would go to Tokyo instead of. I mean, I've been to a cinema. Yosemite just said to me, I've never been to Tokyo, but I'm working far away. So everyone, we're all going, Oh, when are you going on Thursday to Ireland? Oh, really? What is shooting this movie with this Amy Adams movie? Oh, really, but we're bringing the kids to kids on an 11 hour flight. Jesus Christ and earlier kids, too. And and the other one is six months old, so they're putting you up in Ireland for three months. No, I just got back. I was there a couple of weeks ago shooting, and now I'm going back to finish. So we're just going to be there like two weeks. The name of the movie will be Leap Year, and it's like romantic comedy. And what part do you play? I play Amy Adams boyfriend, who may or may not be proposing to her, and she's and wants me to, you know, it's a romantic comedy. Are you the lead? No. The lead guy is Matthew Goode, who was in the Watchmen and DC Watchmen now, and he was in. That is really that night. I just as long as it wasn't Matthew McConaughey. Hmm. No, it's not Matthew. But Breckin Meyer just did a guest spot on party down, and he did a McConaughey impression like a great McConaughey impression for his his role. It's hilarious. I love. I love me. Some good McConaughey. Oh yeah. Adam Scott is our guest. Give your beautiful wife Naomi a kiss. See him on party down by. By the way, currently on Starz and then where do you go? Do you have a website? People can go if they want to find, you know, something. Oh man, I love your stuff. All right. So until next time, this Adam Carolla for Adam Scott and a good buddy, the wiz saying Mahalo. All right, was Adam Scott back in 2009. Adam actually appeared on Loveline, his wife was the assistant to Adam and Jimmy, the man show Naomi. She actually filled in as one of the trial news people during the trial process before Teresa Strasser was hired back in 2006 as well. Coming up next, we have Adam Show 127 featuring Ron Livingston. That actor that Adam always references and never can quite figure out who's been on almost every single show Adams hosted is one of his best guests of all time. Ron Livingston, Peterman himself, August of 2009. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Ron Livingston is in studio. Good to meet you, Ron. Good to see you. Good to see you too, man. I'm a big fan and I just don't feel like we've got enough face time together. Yeah, you know, terrible, wrong? A little bit along the way. A little bit here and there. I know. But I mean, like, I feel like a junkie is just chipping. I'm not really getting a fix, you know, not getting my Ron fix. Yeah, Drew is always hogging the time. Yeah, I know. It's always he's such a mic w***e. He's on vacation now with his entire family taking a cruise. And I don't know if you're close with your family, but could you imagine taking a cruise with your entire family? That's rough. I've heard stories. It sounds like a great idea, and it's always, you know. You know who always signs up for that stuff is, I think, dads who are trying to make up for for lost time or something last night, right? Was that last while station? Yeah. And I always feel it feels like there's some compensation for too many hours at the office or, yeah, somewhere around the time the adult daughter finds out he was banging his secretary for 14 years, he suggests we take it that cruise lines that line. Yeah, it always feels like you're trying too hard. It's the end. It's the absolute wrong family that should be on one of those things. Yeah, no, I agree. I went. I actually I went on one cruise in my life and I went with my wife girlfriend at the time and Jimmy and his wife at the time and the food shocked the. I don't want to say the entertainment was bad, but geeky guy was the stand up comedian and they had this karaoke night. And the way the guy ran the karaoke night is, he would say, Hey, come on, don't be shy. Come on up. Sign up for karaoke whenever you want. We got to sign up. So Jimmy signed up and and then this guy would go like he'd pull. He'd go down the list. He'd go all rides. Big, big hand for four for Sarah. Now, let's see. That's ironic. Now let's see. Who do we got? Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy, Jimmy, come on up here, Jimmy. And then Jimmy Kimmel would applaud and he'd come on up. This is before I was Jimmy Kimmel, and he come on up and then he'd come up. They go, Let's see what you sign up for. Oh, we don't have any Huey Lewis. And he'd go and sit down and then call the next guy up and you're like, Yeah, we don't have Paul Revere and the Raiders. The guy would go sit down, but he wouldn't say, we don't have that song. He would call the person up. Everyone who played, you'd walk to the front, you go, Yeah, we don't have any chain. The Americans would save you the embarrassment of actually having to sing. It does, but it doesn't take an embarrassment of part where you stand up right and walk across the thing drunk and everyone applauds and then you sit back down again was not. It was not a good time. So do you cruise much, Ron? No, never. Never actually pulled the trigger on on the cruise. Uh, yeah. I feel like a lot of people are fallen off those boats now. You think I seem to hear about it now? Woman killed herself doing it semi recently. Yeah. But I feel like we had like a good 20 year run of nobody falling off a cruise ship, right? And in the last like seven years, couple of dozen people have fallen off, which probably means we just weren't hearing about it before. That's probably what it is. We didn't have CNN. Yeah. Well, how long? I mean, the railing comes halfway up your thigh and all you do is drink, right? And you've seen Titanic 15 times. Like how, how, how long before someone goes over the f**king edge and the it is pretty quick. Yeah. Gusts of wind up to 40 knots, you know what I mean? Like. Yeah. And then I remember there was the whole TED there. There was there did seem to be a stretch of like terrorists taking them over and the Achille Lauro, where they took the guy in the wheelchair or the wheelchair guy gone. And he just switched over. What? Listen, I know you don't believe in a traditional heaven and hell, but I don't care if you're in a f**king Allah or Santeria. When you take the guy in the wheelchair and you roll them over in the f**king edge and you just sort of do that move where you drop. Into the into the f**king Indian Ocean. Yeah, really. That seems bad, God, really. That's. And I wonder if that's actually politically driven or is just an afterthought. There were like, Hey, let's pick on the cripple. You know what I mean? It's just, yeah, I mean, guys, also, it's one of those things too, where you go like, Wow, man, they took a guy, you know, wields like, it's a sixty five year old guy in a wheelchair and they shove them off. And then and then you think about it and you go, Well, there's kind of better than a 13 year old girl in it. I mean, sure, it's not like he was enjoying life to the fullest. Well, he was on a cruise. Well, I know, but he wasn't playing badminton or anything. I mean, he may have been skeet shooting. That's yes, that's why I look at it. And that was the one thing I wanted to do with skeet shoot because I'd seen enough love boat to know that you could actually do that. No, can do. They didn't have that now. Now, now how old was the guy? And I guess he was just Jewish and in a wheelchair. And that's by the way, that is your worst. That's got to be your worst dream come true. You're a Jew in a wheelchair and a bunch of guys bunch of terrorists take over your cruise ship. The Re. Yeah, it Klinghoffer. Leon Klinghoffer. You definitely can't run and hide is 60. Yeah, 60 69 years old. Retired in a wheelchair, and it's unclear like, Look, I don't want to make fun of this guy, but I'm just saying I don't want to be dumped out of my wheelchair. My feeling is, let's build a ramp and I'm going out. I'm going, I'm going back. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm going like Evel Knievel, the Snake River Canyon or something. Like, if I'm going into the drink in my wheelchair, don't dump me. Yeah, let's put some rockets on this thing. Build a ramp, and I'm going, I'm going for big and even incorporated into the sketch. You really have, you know? No, no, Ron, you cross the line. You have crossed the line. Well, anyway, that was way back. I don't know, in the 80s or 90s, Ron is quite impressive. Ron went to Yale. Ron was in one of everyone's favorite movies, The Swingers, of course, from 1996. Also, Ron was in the only TV show that I have a magnet for. You know, there's refrigerator magnets for a TV show. What's that? That was Molly Ringwald said. Townies. Oh yeah, I think I my parents have that magnet. I mean, your parents, the only guys have the townies magnet and the other Molly Ringwald connection is the original Slingblade short, which I remember Molly Ringwald. You have a good memory. Yeah, especially it's on this page. But yeah, I knew Molly way way back in the day. So you were in Sling Blade. The some people call it Sling Blade. Yes. And that was how long a short was that? I think it was like two or three minutes. It was basically the short that they made before the movie, where Billy Bob, I think, wrote it. And and yeah, I think it was almost like a just a test out, and it corresponds to maybe the first three minutes of the movie before the credits roll. Right, right. It's him in the mental institution right before he's released was the short. And how does that work? You know, Billy Bob, does he come up to you and ask you? I know I I knew the director of the short guy by the name of George Hickenlooper I went to school with, and I was just basically a free extra. I'm walking around somewhere in a lab coat. And did you go to school with Ed Norton? And I did. Yes, I did. Yeah, I did. I those hacks did plays with both of those guys. It is, and I teach whatever became a list. So he went to Yale with those guys and did plays. You're in the drama department with those. Yeah, I was like class class of 89 is I was trying to on. I was sort of trying to do Ed Norton's. I was talking to someone trying to figure out Ed Norton the other day, and I never really got to the bottom of it. Yeah, because I was thinking was saying to the guy who is a guy who works on 30 Rock, I said, You never see Ed Norton on any of those late night shows. I don't feel like a scene popping up places or doing stuff. And then I thought, Is he painfully shy? Does he have a secret? Is he angry? Is he stupid? He can't be dumb. He went to Yale. Like Ed Norton, you never see him. Just like on the show. Definitely not stupid. He's he's he's probably one of the brightest guys that he doesn't do cameos on Entourage. Yeah. No, you don't. You don't see him do that and you never see him. Like, you don't just flick on Conan and there's Ed Norton chewing the fat. You know, he just wears what? Where's Ed Norton? I mean, he does movies. You never see Ed Norton, right? He just he does the movie and then you never see him here. Should we see? It shouldn't be like one TMZ where I just turn it on, and here's Ed Norton, he's leaving the Marie Calendar's in Toluca Lake. Yeah, like where the f**k is Ed Norton when he's not? Does he tunnel back to his house and then just sit in a hyperbaric chamber and then go back to the movie set again? Like, Where's Ed Norton? Who's? Yeah, I don't know. I it never occurred to me that you could get out of doing all that press, you know, like, does he just say, I'm not going to do it? Or does he show up? I think at a certain point. And it's smart. You establish yourself as that guy, right? And then it's like, I always say, like, if I light up a joint, someone is going to tell me, Hey, man, put that s**t out. But if Snoop Dogg lights up a joints like, whoa, yeah, like, I'm rolling. That's what he does. That's what Snoop Dogg does. That's what he does. So if if Adam Carolla says, No, I'm not going to get up at four and do one of those press junket things, it's like, f**k you. Yes, you are. Get the f**k in the van. Yeah, but if Ed Norton. They might not even ask Ed Norton, like Norton might be like, Don't bother. Maybe you just set the precedent early. Yeah. Or it could be the other way around where he just showed up and he was like, Joe, dead air. You know what I mean? Oh, maybe he just didn't say anything, and he got off everyone's list and everyone was like, We can't, we don't want that guy. You know, I've worked with guys that way where it's like, that's how my dad got out of doing the dishes for years. Is he just messed it up right now? Yeah, you just do that thing where your wife wants you to make breakfast and she sees you dumping the pancake batter into the toaster and fire shooting out of it. She said, You know, I go back and go back to bed. Exactly. And that's why you're out. Because you yeah. But he's such a smart guy and he's a talented guy. It definitely seemed like he could string together scenes. Yeah, absolutely. Is he angry, you think? I don't know if he's serious. He seems like a most serious guy on the planet. He was younger than me, so when I knew him, he was a couple of years younger. And, you know, he just had this very sort of freshman sophomore quality about him, which, you know, he doesn't really. You don't get to know that guy very well and you call him ahead. It's everything to me. Was that serious? You should go by Edward. I think he does go by. I feel like he does go by Edward. But if you call them. But he also goes by Ed Norton, and he never seems to scream at anyone. Right? It's Edward, right? I feel like his stage isn't his his credits, Ed Norton, but they'll always go together. Yeah. I don't know. It's just if you have his home number, if in fact he has a whole ask him, I'm going to ask him next time. I never see him. That's true us every once in while you run across him, like if you go to a go to his premiere or something, you can kind of. All right. You know, I don't get invited to some events, but ask him, what the f**k? Ask him how he does it, like where he is out all the press stuff. And I want to say, I will say this to all the A-hole stars who do that thing where they go. You know, it always drives me nuts because it's like they complain about the press, they complain about being hounded, and then they do the thing that drives me nuts like, here's Teri Hatcher. She's walking down the red carpet for some s**tty movie that one of her co-stars from Desperate Housewives is in, you know, Ghost Mom or something. And she's going out and they put the mic in front of her and they go, What's your ideal Saturday night? And she's like, I like to be at home with popcorn, and I like to watch a black and white movie and just have the girls and cuddle up. Why are you all f**king w***e it up and on the red carpet every single time I see you that if you if you truly if your idea of a great night is to just to have your tootsies by the fire and have some popcorn and watch a black and white movie and have the girls over and go real low key. Why do you deliver that message from a red carpet? Maybe that's why aren't you at home Martin is doing right now. Maybe he's sitting on a sofa with the popcorn and the black, and he's got like, you know, slippers on. He's watching breakfast at Tiffany's and he's crying. I don't know. Like, there's no way Ed Norton would ever be on this podcast because I don't. There's no way to contact Ed Norton to find out because they're bad signal. We put a big e up into the air. That might work. But what if you screw it up and people think it's an EM because they're standing at a different angle? Yeah. Then who shows up? Then somebody, then you get somebody else you get so they might be good at. But I don't know. Michael Jackson would have been good a few months ago. He had to be quicker. So run, go to Yale. Yeah, graduate. Go on. Your dad's an aerospace engineer. Yep. Worked for still works. Actually, Rockwell, Collins, Rockwell. Yep. Hmm. They were great because they made a great planner. They used to make hand tools as well. They made it great. The only good door plane or not just plane or plane or. But I used to be a carpenter, the actual door planner, and they also sung that song. I always feel like someone's watching me. So they had a lot of range. Yes, they did. So organization, I mean, they did that. Always feel like, yeah, and they made a hell of a door planer and they made like Scud missiles and stuff, right, right, which that, you know, if they're Scud missiles is part of the paranoia of thinking that someone's watching you. So you got to had your doors got a closed door has to close. You want to have some Scud missiles laying around. I don't think they could have shown that that way. So what did he do over there? He is. He worked. He did a little work on the B-1. I think I saw early on. I love that B-1. Yeah, clueless airplane, ever. Yeah. You know what's cool about the B-1? Anything that's big, but looks like something that's smaller is cool. And here's what I'm going to say The coolest cars in the world are the full size large sport coupes big heavy cars like like BMW eight Series. They look big, they are big, but they really almost look like sports cars, but they're 4500 pounds. The B-1 bomber? Show us that picture that you just showed us previously make. The B-1 bomber looks like a fighter, but it's a bomber. And the thing that's b***hing about is most bombers look s**tty because they're big and they're sort of crappy look, and they look like fat white centers in the NBA. Yeah, this looks like a hornet. It looks like a hornet, but it also looks like it could be a blue angel plane. You know what I mean? It looks really nimble. Yeah, and it's got the swept wings or maybe their variable geometry wings. Your dad would come if he heard me say that. But no, this is look like they're swept. So here it is. It's a massive plane delivery, you know, capable of delivering tons of ordnance. And yet it looks like a fighter. Yeah. And what you, your dad do on that plane? You know, I think he worked on a problem related to the the front wheel strut. Yeah, he did. I believe. I think that was, you know, something. It's a very unsexy part of the plane. But it's never. That's what he told me anyway as a kid. And and so he worked for Rockwell. And I guess Rockwell must have made tools, too, because I swear to you, I had a Rockwell door planer that was the best tool I ever had that later got ripped off from my grandmother's house when she let a hobo rake leaves at her place. What a horrible grandparent. My my, my grandparent, my grandmother was. Sure. She said. I'm poor, I'm dirt poor. I'm in an apartment in North Hollywood and it's just like swingers. Uh huh.. I'm just like, you guys in swingers, and I don't have any place to keep my tools because I'm living in an apartment, but I'm making my living off my tools. Yeah. So my grandparents live in North Hollywood and I say, Hey, grandma, grandpa, can I leave my tools in your like garage tool shed area so they don't get stolen? I don't have to bring them into my apartment. I can't leave my truck, they'll get stolen, and I buy the Rockwell planer with a gray metal case and the whole thing. It's beautiful door planer. Now you're showing me a would you show me a shop plate or any t a Rockwell door planer? Sorry, we're looking at the internet. So I drop it off at our house. It's all brand. It was like four hundred and fifty bucks, and that was a long time ago. I mean, that's a lot of a lot of money. Yeah. And then I went to a house one day I had a job hanging doors and I opened the case and it's gone. The case is there, but the Rockwell plane is gone. And I said to my grandma, I say, what happened here? And she said, I don't know. And I said, What was there anyone in in here who could have stolen this? And she said, Well, there is a homeless guy. And I let him in here to rake some leaves for, you know, five bucks. And so he probably stole it five bucks in a four hundred and fifty dollar rag doll that he probably sold for 10 bucks where the Coke or crack or whatever. And I said so he stole my door planer. Now I can't. I can't hang doors now. And she's like, Yeah. She sees no bounds there, and they're supposed to go like, I'll chip in for half the cost of a new one or something like that. No door planer gone. That is not my Rockwell door plane. Or, by the way, we're seeing another picture up on the screen. But so your dad really did good work and what did your mom do? My mom was A.. Now they call him a homemaker, but at the time they call them housewives. Right? And basically, she was a mom, and she also did some in-home daycare, which meant she part time there's like other people's moms, right spread and be other people. And I think she sold Mary Kay for a while. And one of the Olsen twins hoarder and smart paid a pretty penny doing that. And now she is a she's a Lutheran minister. She oh, so now she's a Lutheran minister, and now she's a Lutheran minister. Wow. How does that work? You basically you get a calling and and you go to she had to go back to school. How does a calling work? Because I have like mine, I have callings that are involve. Pizza is masturbating, so I don't have that's those that's your calling. Then that's the you've done very well by it. I think bad typing, though, I got to tell you, but you get you get a calling. Yeah. Where you just go, Hey, man, you know, she loves red. I think for her, it started out. She was just one of those people that, you know, when they needed somebody at the church to go talk to Mrs. So-and-so who's having a terrible day. Mm-Hmm. Or, like all these people, got divorced, we, you know, how can somebody stop by and say, Hey, she sort of became the person that did a lot of that right? And then she was looking into like, Well, how would I do that for a living? You know, which I guess if you're on one of the coasts, you would become a therapist. Right? But in the Midwest, you know, only crazy people you don't have therapists for. Yeah, for regular people. They they they only want to go to religious ministers for that because they're free. Right? This is what city, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Mary. Okay. Yeah. So it's like you go to a therapist in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. You go because you think you're Napoleon. Right? Not because you're blaming your parents, right? Exactly. Or it's court ordered really has to be court ordered for you to go see a therapist. I never really thought about that. I'd love to see a map with all the dots of therapists and see definitely where I mean one one dirty bomb. A couple of smartly Peyton Place dirty bombs could probably take out some of our community, probably or like a flu, like a really strong flu. Or, yeah, like an epidemic. Yeah, because it's true that even out here in Southern California, there's no one in, you know, no one in Fresno. No therapists in Redlands or Riverside. I mean, they're all in Encino. You got to be scratch of Ventura Boulevard. You got to be, you know, you got to be sort of, I guess, have psychological problems, but also like making enough money to pay a therapist where you know that that is it. That's a balance right there. If you think about it, I never I went to Oklahoma. Look at all the therapists in Oklahoma. Wow. Are they in the Panhandle? What are we staring at? Are they? Oh, there's Florida. Yeah. Oh, it's going to Mexico. Is it what's down there? No, that's Alaska. Oh, sorry. See, I didn't go to Yale, so they put it where Mexico should be. Well, who the f**k puts Alaska, where Mexico should be? We're just looking at a man, by the way, from the therapist who are trying to figure out where Baja was. All right, so. So she so you know, so they said, Well, it sounds like what you want to do is be a chaplain. Mm hmm. But you have to be ordained to be a chaplain. You know, you got to be. So I think her idea was that she was going to do that. She wasn't she didn't really ever want to preach at a congregation or something. They don't let you do the cool, you know? So then what religion are you? Well, I was raised Lutheran. And what's the difference between Lutheran and Catholic and Christian and a Protestant Protestant Protestant came to being in the in the seventeen hundreds was kind of part of the Renaissance and the ideas around the same time they got rid of kings in the political system. They said, Let's get rid of the kings in the religious system. So the main idea was, you know, the priests are, come more like your clergy are sort of just ordinary people who are volunteering to do this rather than their sort of special people who are elevated right? And you need to obey them. Right. And so you grew up in that environment. I grew up in that environment where it's it's a little it's kind of a it's a more democratic kind of thing. I mean, do you keep up with that flavor? You know, I don't know. I sort of branch out into. To a lot of different stuff, I think it all kind of it all kind of folds in together a little bit. I feel like once you start putting a name on things and going, well, the you, you're just picking sides, and as soon as you pick sides, one side needs to kill the other side. You know what I mean? So I and then you're throwing guys with wheelchairs off the boat? Yeah, I you know, yes, I know. It's obviously super ironic that that's religious people and and very highly religious people that are dumping the 69 year old retired shoe off the back of the boat. Yeah, that's the I find that ironic. I guess they they don't. A couple of other things with Ron Livingston, by the way, in the Time Traveler's Wife, which is opens August 14th. Rachel McAdams, who's kind of quickly becoming the it girl in this town? Yeah, beautiful. Also doing going the distance with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long, who are an item, I guess, really? Well, Justin Long is the Mac guy for those you want to. Justin Long is, and I think him and Drew were dating for a while. I don't know if they're still dating. She you know what's weird about her. She gets to date lots of guys, but never really gets called a w***e. She, you know, we talk about that double standard thing all the time, or it's like, guys, you know, guys are allowed to go out and conquer, have all these sexual conquests and they just they just become these men about town, you know? Yeah. And chicks, they do it and they get kind of a bad rap. But Drew Barrymore quietly dated every younger leading guy in town and at one time or another, and no one ever really. No one ever goes, Hey, man, maybe quietly was maybe, maybe or maybe she has Ed Norton's publicist. Maybe her vagina has Ed Norton's publicist or something, but she's she's with Justin Long. And by the way, you know, she was with Tom Green and now with Justin Long. So I feel like anyone listening has got a shot with Drew Barrymore. I just feel like you fall somewhere in between those two guys. I'm sure you're as good looking or as tall or as something as any either one of those guys are. And you definitely got a shot at Drew Barrymore. Like, I have a career drew. I have a three year old son who has a shot in 20 years at Drew Barrymore. She likes younger guys. Looks obviously aren't an issue. She has had a crazy career, hasn't she? Yeah. You know, I mean, any. I mean, you start with the whole. They don't make the the sort of Hollywood royalty family connection so much with her anymore. Yeah. The barrymore's yeah. But that's a big deal. And the whole child, you know, the child actor the same thing. Yeah. And then the whole sort of doing the drugs. And I think maybe that's it. She had such a that phase was we saw so much of that in the press that, you know, anything that she does after that is like kind of oddly really creative and responsible. You know, yes, it's just dating another Hollywood guy. Yeah. And it seems to me seems like a nice, seems pretty squeaky clean and like a nice guy. You know what I mean? Justin Long. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, if he was, you know, if he was representing Apple like that, you know, they vetted him. You know what I mean? You know, they had like guys in black suits like, yeah, looking under, find out this guy's got a couple of ramps for vehicular manslaughter, no plastic disputes, and he shot a guy in a club or any of that s**t. There's a couple of billion dollars equity in that company. You know, he was vetted. They're careful about that. So now you have those two projects coming out. Once coming out, like ten minutes, the other ones coming out sometime in 2010, 10 or so. And what about writing? And what about creating creating? Yeah, I boy, that's a good question. I'm spectacularly uncreative, I guess. I mean, you're just a good actor and you're content and most actors and actually, Hollywood is just one of these sort of, well, you know, if you're in radio, you want to be on TV and if you're on TV, you want to be in films. If you're in films you want to produce and if you produce, you want to direct, you know what I mean? Just keep going up this this ladder. Totally. But you don't have that. You know, it's funny you say that because I think just this year, I finally, I kind of finally put myself on the hook to, you know, try to write some stuff and see see how it turns out. Just let it let it suck. That's the problem is is just starting and doing that first thing because of course you want it to be you want it to be like a masterpiece off the bat. Sure, you can get caught in the whole thing of, you know, because the thing that you have in your head, it's the it's the dream of being, Oh look, oh my God, you feel it through the first time. But you probably got to do 10 things. It suck. Yeah, first I played it safe and did. 20. Yeah, but yeah, well, we're talking about writing a book, writing a movie. When do a screenplay? I mean, also someone who's been in so many movies and you feel like just being on the set. I mean, just by proxy, there's so many actors that can direct because you've just been on a set, you've been directed. You just you just literally know the lay of the land. So I think there's I think there's a lot of good training that comes out of it. I think you do have to there's a learning curve, you know, on the other side of it, like how the camera works, right? You can get away as an actor. You can get away with being a complete idiot about a lot of things, right? But then again, you know, they've said it about a director is it's the one guy you can remove from the film set and the film will still get made. You know that it's true. You couldn't say that about the grip or the DP, right? And so or an actor. And now I don't actually think that's true, but I I think the lesson is probably that if you're willing to if you're willing to both do your homework and, you know, use the resources of the people that are there that know what they're doing, you could probably end up with something really good. Ron was in straight talk which inspired me to get into radio, by the way. Dolly Parton from 1992, but also pissed me off because they let's see it could have inspired you to fall in love with James Woods. So that's probably the radio thing was probably a better way to go. She was answering like a want ad was going to be a receptionist at like a radio station. And then they did that thing that they never do in real life, but they always do in movies where like someone just comes stumbling in and they go, You're late, you're late, you're late. And the next thing you know, you're wearing surgical scrubs and they're right, Dr. Johnson, would you like to proceed and you're like, Huh? Every movie I saw growing up was that never seems to happen in movies anywhere. And they take her and they put her behind the microphone and she sits there and she's not supposed to be there. But what do you know? But what do you know she's just given out this sort of homespun advice. It's just little folksy cum, folksy country fried advice. And then they do that montage. It never stops pissing me off because I'm in radio and no one ever listens to me. And it would be one of these things where, you know, something would happen at the radio station and no one, no one ever pulled up next. I mean, honk the horn and like, Hey, hey, and thumbs up. My wife doesn't even listen my f**king radio show. But in this, they do this montage of guys work your work and jackhammers and stopping and listening to people at bus stops gathering around or 30 minutes. He was already changing lives. Already, people pulled over their cars, tons of cars all listening in unison, and everyone was like, What? That never happens. It never happens. It's so disappointing and unrealistic. And then and then they do that thing where they go. The ratings just came in. It's like what the ratings come in every three months. They come in a trend. Three trends make a book your program directors and tell you for four months. Like, What do you mean? The ratings just came in and the phones are ringing off the hook. It's so disappointing. Was so humiliated and disappointed when I finally got in the radio. But what was your part in that movie? I'm in the first three second there. There it is. I mean, the first three seconds dancing with Dolly Parton. I I play a soldier who grabs your a*s basically because she's got to be something before she ends up in there in the booth with the radio thing. She was a dance instructor. Ah ha. So there's an opening montage. And in the opening montage, uh, I grab her a*s and and then she gets up, and I had three lines that all got cut. Oh, really? Yeah. But that's now. Where were you at that time? Were you? I was in Chicago. I was like a local hire. I think I got cast, probably because I was the only guy that was straight. You know, I think it was one of those things where it went out on the breakdowns that because it's a it's a ballroom dancing scene that wasn't called f*g talk. The good talk is there you have it. Yeah. And how did the how'd you get hooked up with Favro and swingers? And then as I looked down and I see you're in office space as well. So between office space and swingers, two of the almost cult your classics of the last 15 or 20 years kind of cool. The kids love office space. It's after a while. The kids, if the kids remember it, but the kids 10 years ago loved it. I hope they still love it. Yeah, everyone. Every 30 year old guy says that's like their favorite movie. Yeah. And then Goonies, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for those guys to. Hopefully, I'm hoping those guys are going to run Hollywood pretty soon. And then and then that'll pay off. Well, how how did how did swingers come about for you? Swingers was so. Hers was basically Jon Favreau, and I moved out from Chicago to L.A. around the same time. He was kind of coming off and doing Rudy right where he was like he was much bigger at the time. He was playing like the fat friend of Sean Astin and Rudy. Sure. And and so that was like he was kind of moving to L.A. to sort of take advantage of the big movie that was coming out. I was just an idiot that was moving out. I didn't have really have anything going, but you would get stopped all the time, like, Hey, weren't you the guy who had no lines and straight talk? Yeah, I that didn't. That's why it wasn't coming through. Yeah, you know, so Vince had done Rudy. He plays the guy, the, you know, the quarterback that throws Rudy the past. Oh, yeah, well, you know, right? And those guys were basically hanging around doing everything that you see in the movie Swingers, right? Sure, John lost a ton of weight. And I think, you know, they were going around and just bang and everything that was just chasing just chasing skirt, you know? Right. And and then Favreau wrote a really funny movie about it, and we were doing readings of it, just trying to get it off the ground, trying to help him sell it to somebody. Nobody would buy it. And and eventually, Doug Liman came along because it happened to be sitting on his roommate's coffee table. Read it said, this is a really cool movie. Where's it? Where's it set up? And she's like, Well, it's not set up anywhere. And he says, What's the budget? They said two million. He said I could shoot it for two hundred and fifty thousand. And they said, do it, at which point they couldn't afford any. You know, they couldn't afford any actors that you heard of. We'd been reading it in in various rooms for about a year and a half and and one by one we got him to sign off on just putting us in it because we were we were practically free. No names. Yeah. And it plus you familiarize yourself with the material so much because you've been doing the readings of it as well. On the same, you know, mostly those characters were all based on us. Right. So they set you up for 250. They shot it for 250. And it wasn't it wasn't a success really when it came out, was it? It was a success in that it got a huge amount of buzz. It was. It sort of got involved in a Miramax bought it and it was. It was early on in the Miramax days, a by an independent films, and they they bought it for five million bucks. Wow. So immediately it was. It was kind of where the hell did these guys come from? How did they? How did they take a movie that was 250000 sell for five million? Right? And so it was sort of an instant. You know, in the business, it was a big hit. Yeah. Even though I think it, it didn't really take off. People didn't find it until VIDEO And what is the story in my life? What about office space? Who did that movie, Mike Judge? Oh yeah, Mike Judge forgot that was Mike. Judge was making just boatloads of money for 20th Century Fox on on Hank Hill on Oh, King of the Hill. King of the Hill. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, that was before that era, right? So this was his first. This was his first live action movie. It was based on an animated short that he'd drawn that pretty much feature animation that I forget whenever he does a live action. Yeah, that's that was his that was his sort of first thing. And he this was just a pet project to his. They threw, you know, they threw 10 million bucks at him because he was making them write tons of money, you know, boatloads anyway. And I kind of just stumbled on to it at the right place, at the right time. They had been trying to cast it. They weren't able to find somebody that the studio wanted a big fat star. Mike kind of wanted an unknown. And so they they'd seen everybody in town and somebody had had, you know, had vetoed them, whether it was the studio Mike. And so I think I was literally the last actor left. And they they caved. And Jennifer Aniston, how was that? How is she? She's awesome. She was awesome. I couldn't have done that movie if she hadn't done it. The studio, the studio. No way with this signed off on me doing that movie if Jennifer hadn't agreed to do it right. So really, I kind of owe her a big one for four even deign to do that. Her career was really, I mean, she was like riding the friends wave and her film career was taken off. So this was a pretty small right. This was a pretty small fart part is a small fart for her. This is a small part for her, as she kind of did it as a really as a favor. And to Mike and to her manager, did the movie I know got sort of again, cult status, but how to do at the box office? Terrible. It was, I think it did eight mil. I think they spent 11 mil to make it. I think opening weekend was probably eight or nine mil. Plus, whatever they spent on to promote it, which I think was $6 right now, well, did it not test well or something? I mean, like at a certain point when the honestly video saw it, did they not get behind it? It's it's just a little too sly, I think. Right. It's really hard to cut a trailer now. You see a trailer of it and you've seen the movie three times or four times or whatever. So you're like, Oh, I remember that part. I remember that part. But it's it's, you know, it's it's kind of a it's the humor is a little bit sly to cut together in a trailer, and nobody knew who the hell I was and nobody knew who the hell John C. McGinley was. Or, you know, it's it's John C. McGinley has been in every single movie ever that guy's made. He's in everything. But hey, look made 10. Almost $11 million. The U.S. box office. Oh, there you go. All right. It did 11 mil, and maybe it was the other way around. I think maybe it cost eight and and made 11. So, you know, I mean, since then, over on DVD and video, it's I shudder to think of all the money they made off of that thing. And what for you? I mean, you do. Obviously, almost everything you do is comedic roles are mostly comedic roles. You want to do a little bit, you know, I want to play heavy, will play serial killer or something like that. I got no, I did. I spent a lot of time kind of chasing down the drama stuff like Band of Brothers. I was on Drew on the practice for a while, playing like a bone dry, you know, district attorney who was just, you know, I don't know, was it that was like, it was kind of fun. Yeah, I like doing a little bit of everything, to be honest with you. I probably I probably jump around a little too much for people that I probably made a lot more money if I had just stuck to one thing. And yeah, and let somebody capitalize on me and carpet cleaning it like you would carpet cleaning out on, you know, the king of the Valley right now, you know? No, you don't. Do you do the cars? Is it the radio thing that's going on? I, I I've said that many times, which is if you want to make money, you just do one thing and then you make enough money to pay everyone else to do all the other stuff. Yeah, that's sort of a jack of all trades thing. It's not a great payday because people don't know if you should be doing serious roles or, you know, comedic roles or being radio or TV or be doing features. And then once you start doing something, they kind of want you to keep doing. Yeah, for you. I'm guessing it's sort of like you do that swingers thing. The one thing I really hadn't done was a relationship drama about astronauts. So when that opportunity came along, that's the one I sort of jumped on. Is that the Time Traveler's Wife? No, that's the defying gravity. That's the that's the thing that that's on ABC. Now we we launched that. Oh yeah. This week. Yeah, I just saw the just saw a commercial for that. Yeah. What is that? That first off looks like they've sunk a billion dollars into doing that. It's it's a fantastic yeah, it's the production values on. It is fantastic, but oddly, it's it's I don't know, you know, honestly, I don't know who they killed to be able to make this show as cheaply as they make it. But I mean, they make is it all just computer s**t now? Have we worked all that stuff? You know, what they did is they they looked at the way they did TV in and in the European markets, which is rather than say, we're going to make a pilot, we're going to make we're going to go to all the expense of just making one show. So we're limited by the amount of sets we can build. We just have the budget of one show and then we're going to do it. And if we like it, we're going to make more. But you can't make it any slicker because you've already established this as the set, right? What they did is they made 13 of them and they ordered 13. They ordered 13 of them in and they did it as a joint venture with BBC Sic, CTV in Canada and one of the German networks. They did it as an international show. Uh. And so everybody's splitting the cost are smart. So they didn't make a pilot. They picked up 13, which if anyone knows, it's pretty amazing in this town because normally they order a pilot and then sometimes they order six but 13 is about as big as they go these days. Yeah, and that's ABC. What nights? ABC Sunday nights, Sunday nights at 10 and you're part is what I play. Madix Donner. Yeah, yeah, it's it's basically like the sort of veteran astronaut with the checkered past that has a triangle with a couple of the girls. Was on the ship, and he's the flight engineer. Sort of like somewhere between McDreamy and MC Scotty. Wow. Oh, just like your dad? Yeah, exactly. Working for Rockwell all those years. Yeah, that's got to do the old man. Wear the jumpsuits, you know, I get to wear space helmets. And did you do that thing where you went to vomit comet and did the. No, I didn't. I had I almost did that. They they got one in Vegas, but it's like three grand and I couldn't get I couldn't get production to pay for it. So I figured I'd maybe maybe season two. I'll do that because eventually they have to film some of that that way, right? Yeah, we did it all with movie magic. We do it all with it's all done with CGI or there's some wire work or there's some of it's just like, you know, he just, you know, Ryan just stood up and did it just miming, floating around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Ron Livingston. So. So not only the Time Traveler's Wife defying gravity and also going the distance coming out some time with Drew Barrymore coming out in 2010. Anything else? I'm missing from your resume and anything else you want to give a plug to? I think that's I think that's that's pretty groovy. Ron, always a delight pleasure and always, always good to see, you know. All right, this Adam Cole show one twenty seven opium joint. We have a YouTube channel. Make sure to subscribe YouTube.com slash and of course you are NPR. And make sure to tune in next weekend for a fun surprise and get it on.