Roseanne Barr - Episode #261

Transcript

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/ vine, all lowercase and g your home for everything home. Honey Love Get 20 percent off Honey Love by going to honey love.com/ vine and Lumi new customers. Get $5 off Lumi Starter Pack with Code Vine at Lumi Deodorant dot com. And this together again, because this is a very non-fat guy friendly set up, you kidding me? You have a lot of skinny people on your podcast and you've got a. I accepted your belly to be bigger than you. Yeah, I get that a lot. I'm sure it's like the article I want to picture with you so bad because I do that same thing. When I first saw you do that on the show, I was like, I do that. Yes, it's freaky because I'm like this tiny human and I can pop my belly out. Oh, it's amazing. That's the worst idea that I was like, Yes. That's my number one thing that people say to me is like, Oh, you're not as fat as I thought you were going to be. Oh my god, I can't believe I said that. No, no. It's like, Thank you. I guess it's like a back at the convoy. That's people. Not to toot my own horn, but somebody many people come up to me. They're like, Oh, you're better looking in person? And I'm like, Same day, so thank you. So that is the number one. I thought the number one thing people would say to you is, that's one hands down. Yeah. Number one, I was going to start the podcast, but I know if I get that, I hate being predictable, but we're starting so. You go, Oh my gosh, do people like, Wait, are you on Cameo? Yes, yes, I have. One caveat is that like the number one thing they're like, Can you say Larry to my friend? Yeah, no, it's really people always, you know, they list like, there's the part where it says, Well, what are the people like, know about you and like and they and everyone like nine out of 10 says they love your Larry Bird or whatever. You know, I don't really scream it and I've screamed at enough. You know, it's you're overdone bit, but I have teardrops tattooed on my fingers so that you can do this. And it's like funny, like a few times. And then but like, this has been on my fingers for like 18 years now. It's not funny. No, no. It made a comeback, though, right? For a while. It was like six years. It was funny. They stopped being funny for two years and it made a comeback. I also like that kind of humor like Family Guy, where they just like, beat a dead horse to the point where you're like the chicken fight. And I'm still laughing at this and then you're like, OK, and then you're like, Oh s**t, I don't know for sure. It's funny. I love it. I love comedy. I have to say more was on my podcast a couple of years ago and promise me I could come on the show. I literally tweeted it, ma, I know. And then nothing ghosted me saying, You f**king dare you ghosted me. Is it weird that people also say you? Because it happens to me too? Where when I was on the show, they're like, I fall asleep to you every night? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen all the typical things I've had. I've had people say because there's a comfort level with because you get this more than anybody, your you write on the show like we weren't playing a character on the show. Like I was like Chandler from friends like me. So people would just have like no filter, whatever. And people were like, Oh, I had sex your voice. So I've got one couple. I met one couple that they just had had a baby, and he told me that we were on when they conceived the baby, and then they watched. They were watching jokers while she was delivering because she was in. She's got inducers. They had to wait. So they had jokers on the TV show. And when it was on, when the baby came out, he's like, You've been part of this baby's life, more than not for real. And I did. They named the baby joke. No, they didn't. Yeah, I know I was like, That's odd. That's actually really rude. That's so funny. I was like a religious watcher where my producer and I were just talking about this. How we get up. Turn it on. Have it on during the day because they would play it back to back marathons. Yeah. Yeah, we're I'm pretty sure I probably ASMR this, but I forget his answer. When you when you guys are doing it that often and the show becomes as big as it is, don't people recognize you in the streets and then do people pretend that they don't know just to be on the show? Yeah, they try. But you know, yeah, yeah, because we see people on camera way before like they're they're on camera looking in the back saying we're going to pick out and we see people like if I was working behind like a burger joint, yeah, he's behind the counter. You'll see somebody go and they'll walk. I try to be here. One cheeseburger, please. Like, it's like, you know what's going on? That would be me if I saw one of you guys while filming, I'd be like, Oh, I'd be like, Huh? Trying to get into something under your energy in in on the show in New York Happens is an ally because it's just so many people there. You know, when you do that, like it's like, you know, eight million people have half the people don't know you. That's four million people to pick from, you know, so it's like true when we got out of New York, who is a little trickier. I remember one time we were filming that we were filming at a in jersey. We were filming at this. We wanted the gas station attendants. We filmed that this gas and then word got around that we were there. And like everybody that pulled up was doing that. They were like, Oh, and we were like, Oh God, are you there? That day was like almost wasted. It was like, We can't. And I think like the four turns you see are like the four people that didn't know us all day and everybody really worried of, Yeah, isn't that funny because you're like, Well, we've made it. We did what we're supposed to do, and now it's becoming a problem and shot ourselves in the foot. And he said it took 11 years to sell the show. Eleven years this, I'm sure that's what he said. Oh no, we were trying to get. We started in 1999 doing comedy together and then we didn't sell the show. We didn't feel until 2011. So but we were just trying that show. We were trying other things and then we stumbled upon our look. This is where I blame my podcast producer because I swear that's what I heard, too. And he might have said that. No, but she was like, You just glossed over the fact. That they took 11 years to sell a show, and I was like, if somebody said, yeah, well, 11 years to sell it, to get on TV, for sure. Well, that's still crazy. And we will do what it is like a side hustle. We like to comedy like making people laugh that way and then eventually finally found a format that works like we try to sketch comedy show. That didn't work. Yeah. And then we just said, let's put on cameras about how like we make each other laugh, and that's what really just sparked it. It's funny because I remember watching it and going, Why didn't I do this with my girlfriend? For sure? I bet a lot of people like that, too. Yeah. Well, because everybody's got a friend and we remind each other, people's friends, everybody goes. Or until, you know, nobody has a embalmers are. But it's it's it's a format that shows about friendship more than anything, I think. Did you come up with a lot of the concepts or was that because obviously you have a team involved too that makes TV in the beginning? You didn't know at first season, I called White Castle on this whole matter, like I was on the phone with them. We were the location producer was eight people working on the show. I loved it. You guys believed in it so much that you're like, even the network isn't going to throw us a premiere party. Like we got everything right from there for India. Yeah. So my mother went and found the hotel and they didn't have they didn't have true TV at the hotel, so we had to buy it for a day from Comcast to come and do it. So, so they installed, I swear, to God they had sold it for a week to buy a week package that they would put your TV's so we can stream the show in the lobby. Oh, that's funny. So did you ever think it would get to this level? I knew personally I was going to be on television. I knew from a young age I was like, Somehow I'm going to make my way on reality television. But sometimes you don't know, but I'm sure, you know, when you guys started, you're like, This is a hilarious concept. Yeah. And it felt like lightning in a bottle a little bit when we were laughing. And then we realized we were just genuinely laughing at each other and we like kind of forgot the cameras were on. Yeah, and that's that's a good song. We're like, because I always say, like all throughout our career or just me personally, too, when I'm making people laugh and when you're watching somebody have a good time, you have a good time. It's infectious. So even if it's you're just having fun, people don't want to watch it. You're not trying. You're not, you know, making out with 20 dudes on camera. I just started forgetting the cameras weren't there. So I was like, Oh my God, everybody, that's right. Everybody at home, like, I work here, OK, look, I am 60 and I'm a different person. I talk to you all. What are you doing? That is probably my head was not in a good place. There was probably like, Do you have a pulse? Yeah, do. It feels great. That's so funny. What was the decision making process like when you come up with because like all the challenges in the pranks and everything are so good, and I just want to know like how you come up with these concepts. I mean, we started in the very beginning. It was just like social experiments. I like, OK, what's weird? Yeah, what could we be weird to do? Like, let's try to hold the stranger's hand like it was that little of that simple. Yeah, you could hold it the longest. Let's try that. And from that, it just stemmed out because I think the thing we learned right away was that the public is game for way more than you think, like you think like they were going like, no, or when people are just like game to like, help you out. People are nicer than you think. People get mad like it's interesting and you could really just kind of manipulate the whole situation and talk to people and make it become a very funny, you know, thing on the fly. So from the beginning, literally was that. But then we started thinking about, OK, it's not all about just talking in your ear and saying something, right? What's something we could do when we came up with the concept? I think it was like season two or three where if you laugh, you lose. Yeah, I love that about trying to make each other laugh. Yeah. And that was a whole new spark of inspiration. And then we came up with like the presentation bits. We ran that. So we always thought of something different, a different way to do something. And that's how it really just kept going, because every season would start with six weeks of pre-production where we just sit in a room like, What are we doing? Yeah. The challenges of not laughing. And we're all in the same room. Like, I couldn't even stop laughing at home. Yeah. And I'm watching you guys and I'm like, I could, you know, when you tell somebody not to laugh, you want to laugh and then you're with your friends in a room with strangers? Hey, do you hear that? That's the sound of a sail you're missing out on because you're not selling on Shopify. And what does it sound like with Shopify? That's much better here, that chatting with me when you start selling at Shopify today. 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I watch it and I go as if these people and I'm sure this is again something people say to you all the time. But I'm like, as if these people aren't actors, which I'm sure they're not. Because I've actually I said something on Twitter once years ago and I said that same thing and people were like, I actually my friend, like, they approached him on the streets and he's not an actor, and a lot of people said that. But the kids, when you're crossing out their artwork, oh, I couldn't believe that that was one of the most cringy things I've ever seen in my life. I wasn't even in the room. I don't know how you got through that because I wasn't even in the room. We were two rooms away and I was literally squeezing. So we were squeezing each other like, how was he going to do this? He did it. He did it perfectly to his credit, and I don't think anybody else could have done that as well as him because I really got a different approach. But he just word on his face like, I'm so sorry this is happening. This is like, I'm as confused as you are. He just had a thing, you know? So these kids are sitting in a room doing their art classes, and he's just coming and saying, like, you guys are in his ears because you got to read X all these books and these kids, like, I'm going to reference family and I always do. But when Stewie, like, makes his family artwork and they're like, Oh, we're going to hang in the fridge, and then he walks away, they're like, Oh God, did you see how stupid your dad? We're going to spit on it. That's what I was like. He's just doing it in front of their faces, and I just remember doing the same thing that you were doing behind the scenes, just cringing. Been like, No, those are real kids. Those weren't actors aren't. There are kids that we booked a parent and me class to do actually a punishment, actually a challenge where it was like, Hey, we'll just be our teachers and be weird. So when people came in, I just held the paintbrush up and I was like, Who wants to paint? And I was just standing there and they were like, Not me. But then we just did this thing where like, All right, so this cla*s. And that was just the spontaneity of the show and being comedic and creative and having each other's back. We realized in that moment it's like it'd be amazing when we just made this a punishment for Q, where he just said the X out everybody's paintings. And we did it on the fly and it just panned out so right. It's so funny because you think about how each one of you deals with a punishment or with challenges, because I feel like he was like, I don't know how to explain him, but Merv feels like a big baby. No, no, no, no, no. So it's like a big mirror. Seems like he just giggles through a lot of things. You just dive in headfirst and just go for it. How would you describe to you? I would say he's he's definitely got a charm to him, like every man kind of charm to it. So I feel like he's got that going for him when he does stuff. But he's also has, like a quiet confidence too. Yeah, which I really, really like. I could see that. Yeah, he does. Even in like real life, you know, everybody forgets that like we're friends in real life. You know that I'm not on the show anymore. Like, people are like, Oh, you're not, you know, are you still friends of like, we're just coworkers or, you know, like we've been friends for 30 years or thirty or twenty five years before the show, you even knew we were friends. Yeah. So but even like in life like you, you get to see people's personalities. And I think that's why it worked out, like wasn't a cast. Yeah, you know what? Like, you know, just people like, Oh, how long could you do this? I'm like, Well, think about how long could you laugh with your friends? Forever, forever? That's all we were doing. So, you know, I mean, you got to have bad days, like there's days where you wouldn't want to film, but I'm sure that turns the beat around when you're like, I actually don't feel up to this today. But then as soon as you get into it and start laughing, you're like, Oh, it's like medicine. Yeah, we would have to take like powwows in the beginning of somebody had a rough night or day and they came in. We were just like, Kick everybody out, sit down, talk his friends, be like, You're ready, okay, you go. You go third. Yeah, watch everybody else. Now you see, everybody have a good time. Like, when do you want to go? Like, everybody would just take their time? Oh, that's cool. I remember there was one punishment that I had that I had a bad. I was in a relationship and I had a really bad night. And I think we were just like, broken up. Yeah. And I was a belly dancer. I had to be belly dancer. And it was it was my punishment. And I was just miserable. And she was just like, we were talking in. The parking lot is like, just use it. It's going to be great. And I look absolutely miserable. Be in this belly dancer. And I was like, This is any other day. I probably would've owned it and been like just bouncing around, doing stuff, I said. But I was genuinely in real life, like upset, and I was like, I just use it as part of my motivation. Yeah. You know, how many hours a day would you guys filmed? A lot. Yeah, it was a very grueling schedule because it did 20. They did anywhere from 20 to 31 episodes a season. And, you know, so we were, do you know, four hours at least go for like an hour each to get a turn that worked and you're probably still on the edge of your seat because you're like, What are they going to make me do? What the worst part is if people have to sign at the end? Like, you could have these. We have so many amazing things that happen that people inside who never show because they didn't sign it and it doesn't work with or like you need to see people's reaction. So we have the stuff that we got, like they had these huge reactions and they when they were like, No, I don't want to be on TV, I didn't even think of it. You go and then you have to go again and you have to do it again, and it's worse. So your days concerned, like I remember there was this, there was a bunch of days where so I was pretty unlucky with that, sometimes where like he would have great turns. And then I remember specific day where we were filming two challenges in the same day. And both the salespeople first turns which were really good, did not sign. So we had to go. Again, twice in the same day. So extend south turn for how much rain that might be like, look at everything we do, everything we give people, you know, we first thing we would do, I guess we'd buy their food like, we got your food, you know, and then, you know, try to pay. But some people were just like, not into it, like they're like cheating and they're like, I can't be on TV. Indigenous people take their mistresses Typekit all the time. We filmed an IKEA and I did a bit where I had to run around with a wardrobe, run around and show this kind of wardrobes, the armoires. I had this guy. And you know how IKEA has that like track? Yes. So I'm just starting slow jog and I start tearing around this guy's farm and I'm like, I'm trying to find the armoire. I find it. I get him in it with me. The door shots, it's just me and him in there. It's dark and I'm like, You like it. It's spacious and because goes, it's nice. And it was hysterical, right? It's over. We get out and I say, Hey, you know what's on this comedy show? He's like, Hey, look, this is great. I had so much fun say, but I'm married. I'm like, Oh, it's OK, it's OK. But this isn't her. Oh, he was buying discount Swedish furniture for his mistress. Right? So like, oh man, that was terrible. Then somebody else went, approach somebody else and they were there with their side pieces. Well, if you look at that challenge and you look at that challenge, we don't talk to couples because we were like, Everybody is out here stepping out. I wonder what the theory is on that one. I know they have a good return policy or they're just like, I know my wife wouldn't drop A. She's not going to lie like, Oh, I picked up, you know, a bookshelf. Nobody knows what that is. Is that crazy? That's nuts. Fun fact. Yeah. What is the worst punishment you think you ever got? I've done a lot, but I mean, the one that resonates with everybody is when I caught the eye there was Noah Syndergaard from the Mets, was signing baseballs and throwing them into the outfield and throwing me in the before the game into the stands. Yeah. And he was in on it and he just kept throwing them to me. And it was all these Oh, I know nature signed baseballs and I had to put on my fanny pack and tell people to buy them on eBay. Yes. And his mother, like, lost her mind and like, screamed at me. The most, I think, is probably one of the biggest reactions we got from somebody that shut down. Like the whole thing, because normally in your ear, you have people, the producers, the other guys being like, OK, this we could do. So I just said, Guys, what are we going to do here? And she's going off on me and it's dead silent. I'm like, OK, so I'm in this by myself. And it was like, nobody knew what to do, and she really got really upset. But I'm glad she let you. Yeah, it worked out. We ended up Lerner, and that was one of the ones where I was like, Yeah, we're going to blur it. But she ended up going like season tickets, you know, like, it was fine down for her. But it was weird because she just said giving me like what they say. She had a two year old baby with her, and I said, Do you want a baseball for this? She's like, Yeah, I really want a baseball for my baby. I said, Give me a baby. So she gave me her baby and I'm holding it. I'm like, No, no, and he threw the ball. So I took the ball and I gave her back. Her child just like, thanks. And they took and I put the baseball away and she goes, she goes, Give me the baseball. I said, Well, you could buy it on eBay. And she flipped out yelling at me, how? And she's yelling, How dare you? And I'm like, You just gave me your old job for a baseball. Yeah. Oh my god on you, lady. Yeah. So that's how many people just had the most awful reactions. And then when you tell them it's for a comedy show, are they just like mortified that they reacted that way? Some people do get a little bit of a bet, but our show wasn't really about getting people angry. I mean, that was the number one thing. Besides, people get mad. Like, What? Where's the comedy come from? Right? Because we were about getting each other. That's the whole idea. Like, we're going to get you going to make you feel bad. Weird, whatever. So people are always like, Oh, you need to show the reactions to people, but you see them because it's us. Yeah. You know, it's like me cringing to say something. You're just getting through something or whatever. That's really what you're seeing. And the most of you people just thought we were weird. We're in New York, first of all, where everybody's always weird. It's all true. All right. You're in good company. Yeah, for sure. It's so funny. God, I just love it. OK. This is a weird question, but you'll see where I'm going with Oh, here we go. If Merc you and Sal were dogs, what dog breed would they be? I mean, she's definitely a golden retriever, right? Yeah. Big, lovable. Sal's got golden retriever energy. Yeah, sure. Yeah, Ma is like a chihuahua because he's like a specific taste. Yeah, I'd be able to love him or don't get him. Oh boy, that's a good point. I think he would be like a Saint Bernard like this big or, you know, a German shepherd. He's like an all-American. It's funny, German Shepherd American. But, you know, maybe like my brain didn't even go. I was like, Yes, I understand the American dog, a German shepherd. I think, yeah, I think the what's the Beethoven one St. Bernard say we're not big guy. Yeah, like comical. Big, yeah. Like dancing around a little lazy. A lot of cute. Yeah, like that. I would say a little messy, but cute. That's I just know because you love dogs and I wanted to talk about your foundation because I rescue both of my goldens from South Korea. Oh, wow. Yeah. And there's some South Korean dogs up in here. Yes, I do. I put on like an app where it spoke Korean to see if they knew that, like the sit and stuff commands. No. OK. And then I was like, Sit and they did, and I was like, I'm confused. But you have an organization. Tell us about it because I'm very passionate about dog rescues. Yeah, it's called ghetto pups and friends, and we just formed our it started off as basically a hobby where me and the missus were collecting these dogs that needed a home. Yeah. And then it started to turn into a passion where like we could really do. Some help here, so we formed our non-profit last year in November. It's kind of sort of like out of COVID like kind of thing where we just started realizing that we could do more and now we start doing adoptions and stuff and we adopt that. We just adopted out our 35th dog yesterday and now it's just great. Senior dog years and most stable, mostly seniors, the ones they like the on one to one kind, though we don't really do puppies. Yeah, we have the ghetto pups, which are like seven dogs, which are ours that we have. And then we have seven dogs. Yeah, I are so jealous. Yeah, it's phenomenal. They're great. But they're all named, as are Italian desserts and pasta dishes. Tell me more What are they? Can all biscotti start to folks? Polmoni, Napoleon? We have the brother and sister fettuccine alfredo. And then we have better. Yes, yes. My dogs are Ramon and Pino. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I like I have a wine label. So Pino Rama noodles with peanut wine sounds great. It's a good pairing and it's a good berry and my favorite pairing. Oh, that's so cool. So when did you see started in COVID started? Like, kind of. Yeah, in COVID was in the idea of like, we start taking in a lot of dogs. And then I was like, after that, I was like, OK, this, you know, I'm one man here. We got to figure out how to do this, and we started like looking to nonprofits. And then we just launched our non-profit in November and start doing the adoptions out, which is good. Hard to start. A non-profit? Yeah, not too bad. I mean, you know, you could get the paperwork and stuff is easy. There's a lot of like ins and outs of, yeah, I understand the whole tax code stuff, but more. It's like, OK, now I have, how do I do this right? So that's what I've been trying to learn now. We actually just got our first space. We got our stuff from an adoption center in town, in and out on Long Island, where I live in. Had there's a there's a spot right next to my favorite deli and the flower shop, which was this perfect little storefront. And we found that and I was like, Hey. And it was up. So we grab that. Civilians see the dogs have some footprint in town because I really love my community there, and then I bet they love you. We got it. Yeah, we got a minivan, you know, unofficial transport now. Yeah, got a bunch of friends minivan rocking that. That's so cool. Yeah. Well, how can people support me? So on Instagram, as mostly I would do most of our stuff. It's got pop ups in friends dot com. But the Instagram handle, which is linked in my bio and how a lot of people know it, it's just kind of pop ups and friends on Instagram and you know, you could donate through there. We take volunteers that come help and play with the dogs because they're all old ones to just like, sit around. These pets cost a lot to, you know, because they're all the older ones are really cool because they just sleep all day, you know, a of foster and older. It's so fun. They were great. Like, it really is like people think it's like harder because they're older, but it's not like they go outside the p. They come in, they lay down, they fall asleep, they wake up in the own pad. It's really just a sweet little companion love. It feels good to, you know, like it just feels good that you're helping these old ones that are overlooked. You know, they are overlooked. And especially my girlfriend in Vancouver has a golden who has a wheelchair. Oh, oh, it just yeah. And the golden was a little diaper, and I'm just obsessed. Like, it's it is. So we had a couple of those. We had a couple of those that I rotini was this little hot dog dog. We had that we got that stood out that had had the wheels on it. There's nothing cuter because you're still so happy and so lovable and sweet. Oh my gosh. Well, that's cool that you do that. I want to like, start giving back more and I want to learn more about like starting and all that great. So my girlfriend, I we started a book club for the podcast. Each book that we read, we want to take something away from it and find an organization to donate to. So you're doing that for us. Thank you so much. How are you all right now? Because I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Have you ever read the book, The Art of Racing in the Rain or seen the movie? No, I haven't. Well, it's spoiler alert. It's very sad. But then I was like, OK, well, we could read a book that has two dogs and then give back to your organization. I would love that. Thank you so much. It's just sort of, you know you, you just brought it up. So you kind of force your hands but don't want to make it look like, you know, I was getting I actually was thinking of that. I think that would be amazing. It's. All right now, ladies, summer is the worst time to suffer with an uncomfortable bra. Ever heard a swab sweaty boobs? Yeah, again, I've said thankfully, honey love has revolutionized the bra game upgrade from traditional bras that use uncomfortable underwire and bulky fabrics that trap in that heat. 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And then the second half, we take fans submitted dilemmas and help solve the world's problems as best we can. I think that's actually funny, though, because a lot of people would think you guys aren't going to know what they're talking about. But now that you say that about your mom and how they were, you probably do have a lot of good advice. My mom is the best. She was fire. She was great. Really? Yeah, she was great, uses Italian little. I was going to say, Well, she just, well, that's what I picture. Yeah, five foot. Nothing of all sorts of attitude. Sicilian crazy, bats**t crazy. But she's investing in another lifetime. I was supposed to be bats**t Sicilian woman, but I actually think that was like me in a past life or in my next life. Our next one may be warming up for it, warming up for it. That's I mean, I've got a lot of the things down for that to be my next. OK, great. So I'm going to be checking the boxes. Put me in coach up there next life, please. OK, so that's where the idea came from. And then what kind of motherly advice have you given out? So like, like what advice would you give for someone who wants to make friends as an adult? We get that a lot, actually. Yeah, that's a good one. I am so predictable. I know you're great. You're friends. It's a thing that people do. I mean, I face that too. You know, it's like the thing that I would always say to is like, you have to remember that you don't a lot of your friends, you've come out of history inconvenience. So like, you're just like, you're a liar. And that's actually like, why a lot of people that you should not necessarily shouldn't be friends with but aren't really don't connect with are still just friends in your life. Yeah. You know, but you don't really like to really relate to this version of them. Right? So I think at this point, like a big thing, it depends about like the phase you're in. So I would just say, like we always say, tap into whatever you're doing in your life where you find people. If you're a parent to kids at school, there's going to be one father or mother that you're like, there's going to be one and all starts with one. You don't need a big group. You don't need a group. No, you don't. When you're younger, you deal. When you're older, you just need somebody, you know, one or two to get together. But then the other thing too is like, community is the big thing. Like, your neighborhood has so many things that you could not hear. Well, OK. Yeah. To either move or move. Right. Because I want I crave community with, you know, it's nice to be natural. There's so many younger people in around the city, but I'm out here and I got to travel inward a little bit. I got to go in. I keep, I keep putting it off. I bought this house seven years ago and I keep looking and looking and then I'm just like, Man, I really should've done that three years ago. But here we are. But yeah, community, that's a good right. Just to make things like, What did you make of friends here? Yes. But there were they friends from elsewhere that came here or were, you know, so it was great. The girl who does my botox go, Hey, hey, go see Botox, Betty or shout out because she had a boat date botoxed birthday and she brought out a bunch of her girlfriends. And then I met people through that. Girls do that. How they do a Botox party? Yeah, I've heard that it's a thing that's so funny. It's a thing. I mean, don't trust anybody out there. Please find the Botox parties like where people throw. I'm like, Please, Lord, God, don't do that. But if you your friend is a Botox queen, yeah, and she owns her own business, then you could have one. You just don't trust anybody else if there's a flyer in your car where you're at the Kroger's. Steer clear of that one. Yeah. Do your research. I lived in Vancouver for Vancouver. Oh, I was just there five days ago. Oh yes. Yeah, I just never. I just, yeah, I went from Victoria to Vancouver in a seaplane which I had never done, which is so good when we got when we landed, we took a ferry from Seattle, which is still going to Victoria. Yeah. And then when we pulled into the port, there were sea planes and I was like, we had an Air Canada flight, and I'm like, Can I get on this to go to? And they're like, Yeah, I was cancelled in Canada. We went on a plane, but so funny. Vancouver is great where you land in Vancouver. Gorgeous. Yeah, I love it there so much. It's one of my like happy places and especially when the weather's good, like, were you there when it was nice? Yeah, it's a really nice, really nice day. Nothing. Nothing beats it. No, I get that. We did a lot of shopping too. Like the street. Yeah, yeah, I was up there and the dollar was in our favor. I crushed it. Yeah, I know, I know. I thought that same thing. I was like, Damn, I don't have time for shopping. Wait, what was I going to say? I'm sorry. I apologize. No, I don't. I don't really know each other. So we're actually talking just to get to know each other. I was going to say that like, I forget, I mean, we forget the cameras are on. That's right. Okay. Well, I'm moving on, but I really want to come back to that thought Vancouver Ferry. No, the ferry was me. You said you were up in Vancouver five days ago. I lived in Vancouver for a living. We talked about Botox boat. Thank you. We're back on air. I was on Robson Street shopping and I saw this med spa look whatever for the face. And I was like, I was 24 or 25 and I was like, Get rid of some wrinkles. I went up there and now looking back on the photos. Oh, my gosh. I was botched my eyelids and eyebrows were just drooping down completely, but I had no wrinkles on my forehead, so I thought that was I was like, I guess I nailed it. Check me out. Look at this great guys. I like of wrinkles anywhere were like, Oh yeah, it was bad. But yeah. Don't trust Kroger flyers is the moral of the story. OK? What about the person who has tried dating apps and can't find a partner? What should they do? That's always tricky. I mean, I never really got the app. I've never tried somebody. I never did the app stuff I never did. I hadn't missed that. And then I think it's just too late. But I would say, you know, for me, it was like, I don't think you meet people in bars or whatnot. I think it ah, at my age rather well than you, but at my age, I think like or if you're in your 30s and 40s, I think it's the best is through friends and try and make it like an organic kind of deal. I will say though, my mom, who she was in her 50s when she met my stepdad, seniors dot com wow. And it killed her because she is like a beautiful, spicy, like things. She's 30 forever and it killed her to go on senior sitcom. But it worked. It worked out. Yeah, my my mom became a she became a widow pretty early in my career. She became a widow. And then when she did, she started her own dating thing in Staten Island like it was before this. Like, she put her ad in the paper said, Hey, you're single, come to this restaurant that she knew people came and she started doing these mixers and she met people that were just like before, like the internet was like anything to me for your newspaper that she did. I know she used to rock out the newspaper and she did single faces. That was the name of it. Oh, I've never even thought of this until now. Single faces of the name and it was all for widows and widowers that got together. And so, yeah, she met her half against the boyfriend through that. Yeah, it's great in Staten Island. Yeah, it's funny. Oh, that is funny. Well, I guess you do. What you have to do is that I take it. You know what? That's that's the advice right there. You don't you've got to do. Yeah, I would say to like, don't be afraid to try to, because a lot of it is like, you get your own head, you get your own way. And especially when you're older and you think about all that, what they don't like about me or whatnot, I just have confidence and give it a shot. Confidence is everything. Absolutely. How about advice for someone whose roommate smells like B.O. all the time? Oh, that's terrible. I had that. I had it in college. I did. I moved there just to move on to get another roommate. Roommates, wsj.com like go go. Get sponsorship by. Go, go get like another roommate. You don't have to like anybody that much. I mean, you could have. I've had talks with friends where it was like, Hey, just so you know your breast. Oh God, I would love if somebody told me that like, oh yeah. Like, yeah, like I. But, you know, maybe I'll say that, but I would love it because I'm like, Oh, that's my great pick up, right? The dream right there. But I think part of it is like, you know, you got to be good enough friends with somebody, and I'm assuming you're their roommate to do that. But like some people just won't change your mind, so people just might have have a stench to them. Like Leonardo DiCaprio. He's never heard that, huh? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that. You hear, that's not, oh, I thought you didn't hear that from you. But I mean, you're like, Oh, you're that? Do it? I was like, Oh, no, I heard, Well, he's I think he's like all natural kind of guy. Oh, gotcha. So he's got a mask. He's got a mask, which I would drink it if he asked me to. So no complaining there someone whose friend is dating someone, they cannot stand. I mean, you can give friendship's breaks. You can like you can just be like, you're allowed to remove yourself from a friendship for a moment in time. I think people forget that, and then they end up killing a friendship. So I would say I would say it's important to remember like to give people their spaces are exploring this new thing and the reason why you hate them. You have to remember this, too, was like, you can't hate somebody for your friend. If your friend is love in love with somebody like it makes no sense. It makes no sense. It's not. You're not yourself is honest conversations. If they're your friend about, like setting boundaries like, OK, I don't like the person you're dating, but I respect that you like them right now. So have you ever had to do that? Have you ever had to talk to somebody about never believable? I'm very convincing. I think I, you know, I think honestly, and this is I think it's a man and woman thing too. I think men are more accepting of someone's mate just because girls like girls girl up and they're like, you know, you could do so much better and guys are like, Hey, are you happy right? Then? It goes in a different place. I think girls, like, really are a women speak to the potential of a woman where men just look at the state that men are in. And I think that you I've never heard that perspective before, and that is so bang on vaccine. Yeah, that's really to come check it out. It's good to say I don't have good advice, guys about this stuff. I think about this stuff a lot. Yeah. You can't help. But that's so true. I feel like women are constantly like wanting to, like, evolve as people and men are just so content with me like, Well, I'm happy right now, which is both. They're both great, both a great perspective. So they're great for us, I guess. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. OK, a quick game before I let you go. You're Nashville because you're doing your live podcast here tonight. I guess here. Yeah, and I and I. Tour with your God is not a comedy, and that's I start off in the fall, so well, I'll so you. The tour starts in the fall. Yeah, I took the summer off. Is there a website where people can see when you come to them? Yeah, it's Joe Gatto official DCMS got my tour dates and then also my Instagrams got everything. OK? Right? Love it. OK. Quick game this or that. Super easy. Oh, here we go it out of these that, well, shave off your eyebrows or dye your hair and facial hair green. Oh, definitely dye, right? Yeah. Yeah, because I feel like you look less weird. If it looks like a bad choice, we could come up with a fun story about no eyebrows. That's bizarre. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, well, that's a look right now for some people, is it? Yeah, I feel like people are like bleach in their eyebrows and like shaving them off. I don't know. It's weird. Walk around Central Park screaming, I'm ugly and I'm proud or sit cross-legged in the middle of Times Square. I've done both so this and that, it just sort of Times Square is gross. It's okay. I do everything I can to avoid. Times Square really is gross. I don't think that this yeah. OK, that's fair. I don't know what it's in. It's crazy. Have you been to Times Square lately? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. It's nice. I and the people that are in the mascot costumes, just traumatising children taking off their heads all the time, like smoking a cigarette. I'm like that you don't look like Elmo, so you're not. You're scaring me. What nightmares are made up? For sure? OK, try to convince people on the street to adopt bizarre and imaginary animals as pets or lead a yoga class with inappropriate poses. I've actually literally done both of those on the show. I know, yeah, I definitely do yoga. I mean, my body as a weapon. I love her. I would love to have a weapon of comedy, and I love that. OK. Again, this is done it. Teach children about dog cremation or paint X's across children's artwork in an art cla*s. Cremation, tall cremation. Really? I mean, the axis was tough. Oh, it really was rough. Yeah, I still cringe thinking about this episode. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, confessions. OK, so this is crocodile dentist. You remember this game? Vaguely, it's like from the nineties and you'd have to like, pull out their teeth and he snaps down, right? But this, you just press down, and whoever it bites has to tell confessions. Whoever it buys says it's hell confession. Yeah, OK. So pick a tooth. Oh, that was quick and scares me every time. OK. I was going to happen. How you loose? Tell me a confession? A confession? I don't know. I'm a pretty homely boy. I know I thought about this for you, and I'm like, How you can? Confessing they either watched or seen or for sure, for sure. I will say I went to bed till I was 14 years old. Let me give you a ride. Oh yeah, what about I don't think. I don't think I really spoke about that too much. Well, there you go. Do you want to dive into it? Like, was there something happening where my mom was so mad? She was like, Always, will she be like, Yeah, 14 stopping at the van. You just lazy, though I don't know what it was. VI, I think it's actually kind of hereditary because my dad had a problem too. I know now I worry for my son, Remington. I know, but you're probably more forgiving when your son now you're like, I get it. Yeah, I get it. Get it home with you. It's all right. Yeah, my mom wasn't paying the bills. The P your past community. Oh, I got my support group. Yeah, you do. I'm sure there's a Facebook group somewhere. I was going to. I'm just telling you my confession. Anyways, it's actually not that bad because I to try and confess something. Every podcast is so hard for me to do, but I was like, Oh my God, I was so DSB, Desperado thirsty on your Instagram Live or are a Tik Tok live or something? Once I was like, Hey, I'm really? Yeah, oh, I wanted you to notice me so that I was like, I don't think I've ever done that to anybody, and I was just like, How do I survive? I thought I would say, hello. I you so looking forward to doing this? Well, there were so many comments coming in on your thing. I was like, He's never going to see it. That's why I kept being the loser and be like, Do you copy and paste it? No. Oh yeah, copying basis. Oh s**t, that sounds easy. No, because I knew other people would see I was like my first. I was like, I probably said something stupid, like Larry, like a good one. And they're like, Avoid Larry's. I'll get filtered out more politely. That's enough. OK, well, I'm excited for people to come watch you in the fall. Are you going to come back to Nashville? I will be in the area. I'm not going to Nashville. Yeah, but I'm in the area. You have to come on a road trip. I what do you like, Murray? And you're just going to ghost me? No, I'll actually keep talking to you. If you like what? You have to talk to me outside of your tick lives because I'm not going to see you. OK, that's fair. Well, that's why I invited you today so I could get your number. I don't have to be desperate housewives. My God. OK, well, tell everybody where they can find you. I'm on Instagram at Joe underscore Gatto on Tik Tok as well. Actually, if you just go to my Instagram, got my link, got everything. Yeah. And then you can watch to cool mom's old episodes now or my YouTube channel. And then, of course, got a pops in friends is the house. Give us some support. We appreciate it. That's so cool. I love. You have a dog rescue. I was like, I didn't know that until I did some research. You go podcast, but that's awesome. And do you know Arielle Vandenberg? I do. Yeah. Yes. We were just talking about you. The other, Oh, are you? Yes. Yes, yeah. Thank you for coming. Thank you so much. I'm Kaitlyn Bristol. I'll see you next Tuesday. You're next Tuesday. This is below decks, Captain Lee. Listen to my new podcast, Salty with Captain Lee. Don't you mean our podcast? Yeah, I guess I do anyhow. Listen to Sally with Catherine Lee, co-hosted by my assistant Sam, and we will be talking about the latest pop culture news and all the gossip every week. So does this mean we have to talk, fire ourselves about ourselves, or at least have some guests on? And no, I find myself pretty interesting. But yeah, we can have some guests on some of our reality TV friends and some stars. Works for me. Listen to Salty now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. See what hit blockbusters are streaming for free this month during Popcorn Summer movies on Pluto TV. Watch action packed movies like Charlie's Angels and comedies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or Enjoy School of Rock and The Adventures of Tintin with the whole family. Plus, Pluto TV has thousands of other free movies available on live and on demand. Download Pluto TV on all your favorite devices for free and start streaming now.