Transcript
Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Yes. It was back. Happy Monday, y'all. Oh, my god. I feel like I have so much to talk about. Okay. First of all, Joe gave me one of my Christmas gifts yesterday. What is with people? My mom called me yesterday and was like, one of your Christmas gifts came in, and I'm gonna drop it off to you because I want you to start using it now. And I'm like, what? Mom is me. I swear to god. I cannot keep, like, any of my gifts a secret. Well, because we're using the guest room for all, like, the the closet that we have to put all of our gifts in there. Right. Right. We always have one designated spot that we use to just throw everything in. Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense. Until it's time to wrap. So he was like, yeah. That makes sense because then we can just wrap in the guest room. The kids are never in there, whatever. So I've been throwing everything in there. But Joe is so dumb because he, like I love him, but he's so dumb. He puts my gifts in there too. Like, if you know like, if I'm not gonna be in there so I ended up putting his stuff, like, in a whole separate like, still in the guest room, but in a different where I know he's not gonna look. Like, in yeah. Like, it's not in that same closet. It's in one of the drawers that we have, like, that people can use when they come to look or whatever. And his stuff is not that big, so I was able to put it in there. But I was going in there yesterday to, like, see what if I needed, like, buy the kids anything else or whatever and how much stuff we have, like, how much gift wrapping paper I need. And he comes in and he's like, oh, like, I have, you know, I have this and then this. Like, we're getting everything together. And then he goes, oh, and I got this for you. I I might as well give it to you now. And I was like, cool. That's not how that works. I was like, don't do that. But we do that to each other often because I do the same s**t. And then I'm like, look at you. Like, you b***h at me because I do that to him. And then he went and just did it, but I think he just knew that I saw it. So I was just like, oh, this is cool. And it's actually really f**king cool. Joe actually is like he's kinda like a technology giver for Christmas. Oh, cool. Like, he likes to give things. Like, he was the when we first started, he got me, like, an iPad I mean, like, an iPad. He's gotten me Ipods. He's he's the one that buys me, like, my MacBooks and stuff. Like, he always gives me, like, technology or something that that will last, like, a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Like, he really like, he is kinda I always say he's, like, the expensive in that in that aspect because I give, like, a bunch of little things, but his one thing kind of sometimes add up to a lot. But he loves, like, technology and, like, things like that. Like, fun things that he knows will, like Be useful. Be useful, but also different. So I've noticed that about him over the years. Like, he's very much a gift giver like that, but he got me, like it's not an iron, but it's like a steamer slash like a it it ironed your clothes, but it looks like a straightener almost. Oh, okay. Uh-huh. And it's really getting pulled. Sides? Yeah. Because I I I was actually saying, like, I have a steamer here, but I don't have one at the house. And it's funny because I was literally thinking I was like, oh, I wonder if there's, like, an invention where people can just, like, straight because you know how people do it with straighteners and s**t? And I remember a long time thinking about that, and he found he I guess he found it at Sam's Club because that's where he got most of his stuff. And he was like, I just thought, like, you know, like, this would be easier for you to iron holes because he knows I hate I will not take out the ironing board. Like, I would just iron my s**t on the bed. I don't iron my clothes. I don't iron. Yeah. I don't care. Because of that. Like, I don't care. Like, the certain material you have to, and I'll steam them, but it's rare on a rare occasion that I'm ironing the clothes. I don't care. Yeah. But it's like sometimes sleeves. Like, if I have if I put sleeves on and it's really wrinkly, that irks the s**t out of me. Like, I don't mind, like, pant like, it doesn't matter if it has a few wrinkles, but, like, shirts irk me so bad. My mom irons everything. She irons everything. She irons every piece of clothing that she's gonna wear. And growing up, she did the same for us. Like, before school, she would be like, bring me your clothes and iron all our clothes. She's so, like That's how my stepdad is. Like, Chloe will iron his underwear. Like, I swear to god, I've seen him iron his underwear. My mom doesn't go that far, but I wouldn't be surprised. That part. Like, Chori is insane. My my dad is a psychopath. But, yeah, but I was like, oh, this is f**king cool because then I I can just like, in one shot, I can just iron, like, the sleeve, and I don't have to, like, do all this extra s**t. So I was like, oh, this is really cool, actually. So I was actually happy about that. But I peeked to the side. Like, he actually had it hidden, but my a*s like, if I wasn't actively looking for my s**t, I wouldn't have found it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actively I was like, oh, if this is if he got me this, then I know my s**t is in here. In here. Yeah. I looked to the side, and I saw my other gift. Oh, no. You know what it is? No. What? I've been I've been, like, dining Oh, you're good in espresso. Yeah. Girl, now what are you gonna do on Christmas? So Honestly, I don't care. Like, honestly, me and Joe, like, we end up giving our gifts, like, sometimes even these before because we just can't wait. Like, do you remember me? It's not about like, I don't really care to, like, open gifts on Christmas. Like, I I I'm more focused on, like, the kids and stuff. And then also if I I I kinda know already what I'm gonna get because I'll, like, tell him sometime. Right. Yeah. Unless he gives me something different. Like, this, I wouldn't have known he was getting me that steamer thing. Like, that was cool. But but I also don't know if that's, like, my only gift. I don't know. So I'm not gonna, like, be like, oh, that's the only thing. But I am excited because I saw it. But you guys can't say anything. Don't tell him that I know. I don't know if anyone's yelling him. Like, he saw the inspiration. No. But, like, I've been saying I wanted it for so long and, like, had it on my list, so I knew he was already gonna get it for me. That's so funny. I, I always give, like, a list. It's actually really funny. I was on TikTok, and this girl was, like, showing her favorite Etsy shops because I'm allergic to nickel, so all of my jewelry has to be gold. And, obviously, that's expensive over time. So for holidays and my birthday, I always ask for new jewelry. But people like, a lot of the goal quote, unquote gold jewelry that's sold online is, like, gold filled. It's not all gold, and it's really expensive. So Mhmm. This girl was, like, showing her favorite, like, fine jewelers on Etsy, and Etsy has, like, really great prices on, like, jewelry and stuff like that. So I saw, like, a whole thing, and she was showing her favorite pieces and stuff. So I was putting links, and then I was like, oh, you know what? I I know that, like, some of the pieces you know how Kale has, like, all those piercings in her ear? Mhmm. So I sent her the the TikTok, and she was like, thanks so much. I just sent this video to Elijah. No explanation. Just sent him the video. And I'm like, sometimes these men, they need, like, direction. And I Yeah. I'm someone like, my mom and I are the same. Like, I always give her a list, and she I always force her to tell me what she wants. Like, this year, she wanted an air fryer. And I I just, like I would rather give somebody that they're gonna something they're gonna use or want than just give them something to, like, just to give them something. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that happens so much, and I hate that. Like, I would rather not exchange gifts, like, at all, period, than waste my money and your money. You know what I mean? Same way. That's we me and my friend, we've just been sending each other, like, links and, like, lists. We we have a list. So, like, we've just been doing it on our notes, and I just shared it with everyone. And I was like, you guys can decide who gets what between who. I don't give a f**k, but this is the list that I made. And I added links. I added sizes. I added everything in there that I saw. Yeah. But it's just easier for us because and also, like, when you I feel like I already have all the, like, the things that I I have so much stuff already. You know? Like, sometimes I don't even feel like I need anything. You know? So it is just, like, sometimes, you know, random things that I might want, like, here and there or whatever. But, I have to have, like, a list from other people because I'm like especially, like, Jonas. I'm like, because he has everything, so I need to know if there's anything else that you, like, want like, actually want, like, not just need or anything like that. Like, Christmas is the time to do that. But it's so hard when you do have, like it's hard because I I'm the type of person, like, if I want something, I'm gonna probably get it for myself. You know? So I've been trying to not do that so that at Christmas time, I can have a list and stuff. But it's hard. I'm a, like, treat yourself kinda b***h. And I also don't I don't feel the need to have, like, so many thing. I don't, like, clutter. I was gonna say, the older I get, the less I feel like I want. And I like, I have all the skincare I need. I have all the hair products I need. I have all the tools. I've been living on my own for a really long time, so I have all of the Exactly. Home appliances and supplies I need. I have I have everything. And I also 1, because we downsized to 1 bedroom. I just don't have the the space. And when we moved out of that 2 bedroom, we were in our own department for, like, 4 years. And the amount of stuff we accumulated, I was like, dude, this is insane. Like and we weren't using it. It was just hidden in the closet. It was it was tucked away, and it's just not it's not used to, but I don't like I used to be I wonder I'm I'm really curious, where that comes from. I know it's psychological. I used to feel like I needed, like, backups of stuff too. Like, I wouldn't just have, like, one mascara. I'd have, like, 4 mascaras. Why? Yeah. I think I I just have this, like, scarcity mindset. I also I noticed that because, like I said, Wellbutrin regulates our dopamine, I have been in pool shopping way less, than I was before, and it's the same thing. It's really affected my binge eating in a good way because people with ADHD often because you're constantly chasing dopamine because your brain doesn't make it anymore, you're constantly chasing it. And so people with ADHD often fall victim to addictions, binge eating disorder. It's extremely too. Yeah. Oh my god. Impulsive spending. We also have, like, number blindness, so we don't even recognize a lot of the time that we're spending as much as we're spending. It's just so like, a whole slew of issues that I've struggled with forever, honestly. And I'm just noticing, like, I don't have the desire. Like, my Yeah. I don't I'm not chasing that dopamine at all. And it definitely is helpful that, like, the med like, the medication definitely is the Yeah. Biggest difference. So good. Mhmm. I feel that. That's so good. 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See earnin.com/tos for details. Earnin is a financial technology company, not a bank. Bank products are issued by Evolve Bank and Trust Member, FDIC. But yeah. No. I'm I'm just like I feel like it does come with, like, age too. It's like the older you get, you're not just like like, the kids could easily make an Amazon list and be like, oh, I want this, this, this, this. You know, they'll put, like, f**king everything on there. And I'm just like, I'm going through it trying to get I it took me so long to even create a list. And I'm, like, trying to go through ideas, and I'm like, well, I don't like, I like this, but I don't really need it. I have too many sneakers already. Like, I don't have the space for it. I don't you know? So I was just, like, I don't even the Nespresso was really, like, the only thing that I really was like, I know I'm gonna use this for a long time, and then I'm gonna save money because I don't really have to go to Starbucks. You know? Yeah. So I'm really f**king excited about that. It's sad. You know? Like, this is not what the holidays are supposed to be about. Obviously, like, we're we're a cons we're a capitalistic country, so we're really big on consumerism. And I know that a lot of people feel a lot of pressure around this, the holiday season, and there's so many people right now that are struggling. Like, we're in a silent depression. And, people are struggling to even just make ends meet and put food on the table. So then to add the expense of Christmas and the anxiety of that true. Like, everybody is. Everybody is. And people are, like, robbing Peter to pay Paul. Like, you're like, okay. Well, I'm going to be late on my bill so that I can buy gifts. And I really I hope that people I know it's really hard, but don't ever go into debt. Don't put yourself in a financial, like, compromising situation to give a gift. And I think, like, everybody's saying, like, it's a crafty Christmas. Like, I I was just talking to Billy for, like, our extended family. There's a lot. I was like, let's make fudge and package them up, like, really cutely and give them to people. I love s**t like that. When someone goes out of their way to, like, make me something with their, like, like, hand like, I don't know. It means a lot, and I think we just really need to change the perception we have around holidays and Christmas in general because it's really difficult for everybody. I've done that with the kids too. Like, I have them last year, Vicki made little ornaments. Like she painted ornaments and just gave that to like the grandparents and things like that. Because she's another one. She's like, I wanna get gifts for people too and stuff. And then Allie gets her gifts too. Like, my sister will get her gifts. And then on top of that, Allie will give her gifts. So I'm like, g*****n. Like and then I feel like I have to get out Bibi to give her a gift too or something. And I'm like, well, we're gonna do something crafty because I don't need to be spending money on, like, a 1000000 different gifts. You know? Like but I love that. I love, like, putting, like, a personal, like, customized touch to things, but I think that's really cute. And I got for, I have a few people that I was, like, saying I wanna make and they're like, oh, like, I really want one. Like, I'll buy it from you. And I was like, no. Like, this is my gift. I'll just I'll make it for you. Like, I make a big batch anyway. I'll just make it for you, and boom. That that's your Christmas gift. Like, you just gotta pick it up. So Yeah. I also I'm really interested. I've seen a lot of, discord about this, like, all over the Internet about people doing, like, more bartering. So say, like, your friend's a tattoo artist and you're a hairstylist. Like, you're exchanging services instead of money for things. That makes sense. And I think that's really smart. I think that's, like, another way to be efficient with your time and your money. And I just I just I understand the stress and the anxiety of all of this, and I also think a lot about kids. Like, quick warning. We're gonna talk about Santa. So Oh, if them kids is in the car Turn it off. Yeah. Take them to school. I go back and forth. I know I'm not a parent yet, and a lot of people I noticed sometimes that people got really upset when I give my opinion about things. But, like, I think everybody who is a parent at one time was like, oh, I'm gonna do this when I'm a parent. And I understand that that's not always realistic, but I also struggle, you know, sometimes I'm like, will we do Santa? How do we do Santa? Maybe Mhmm. Santa just brings what's in your stockings, and then Mhmm. My kids know, like, no. Mom and dad busted their asses to get, like, your, like, the the things that you wanted. Those are for me because I remember growing up at school. Like, my parents would work, like, overtime, double time to get my brother and I everything we asked for. And as an adult, I even as a young child, I recognized that and appreciated it so much. My parents always worked so f**king hard to make Christmas really special for us. Yeah. I'm just sorry that they felt that pressure, especially because of our area where we grew up in. They didn't want us to feel less than or, like do you know what I mean? Like, if my friends are coming back to school and saying, I got x, y, and z. My parents, I think they really didn't want me to feel outside of that. Mhmm. But I I just it's like, that's sad for peep kids who do go to school and they're and Santa can't bring them, like, an Xbox or a PS 4, and then they're wondering, like, I wasn't good enough for that or I didn't do well. It just makes me really sad. It makes me sad. I know. I think at this point, I used to do, like, one gift or a few out Pileko from Santa, but it was never, like, the big gifts we got them. Like, Santa never took credit for the iPads we got them ever. Like, you know what I mean? But I would randomly pick random ones. But now at this point, like, we just put mom and dad on them. I don't even write, like, from Santa. Like, it's just not a thought to them. Like, they're not like, oh, what does Santa bring me? And maybe still believes in Santa. Like, she I think it's just, like, the magic of Christmas. It's, like, Santa is, like, a big thing around it, and, like, you do the whole cookies under the tree, like, with her and the kids and stuff. And Isaac never once was like, oh, like, I you know, Santa's not real. Like, he keeps it going for her. Like, he knows that's, like, a tradition in our house, so he won't say that to her. But it's just I feel like as they get older, like, especially Bebe now, she kinda just she sees us buying gifts for people, and she knows, like, where you know, she understands, like and she so I don't know. I just I'm I I don't go out of my way to, like, write on the gifts anymore. Like, oh, this is from Santa. Like, for us, it's just, like, in that moment, she just sees her family together. She's not really thinking about it. You know? So I'm just that's what it's slowly become, like, we're not really doing that anymore, I guess. Yeah. My mom still will write Santa on our gifts, and she will change her handwriting. My mom ever did that either. Like, I know like, trying to think of I don't remember a lot of Christmases going on. Honestly, I don't remember a lot. But, I think, like, like, she always just wrote her name from what I remember. Like, it was always just her name or my dad. Like, I never really thought, oh, this is from Santa. You know? But I still believed kind of. Like, I don't know. It's, like, weird. Yeah. My yeah. My mom made such a specific, like, point to change her handwriting and write with Santa and, like, change sometimes, like, different handwriting and stuff like that. Again, that's why I remember, like, Christmases are so vivid for me. And also one Christmas, I really it was so funny. I think I was, like, 12 or, like, 11 or 12. And I desperately wanted a karaoke machine. Like, I wanted one so bad. And Yeah. So I was snooping for my presents, and I found them. And then when I found it, I started crying because then I was like, now I'm not gonna be excited on Christmas, so I've never done that again. Like, I try so hard. I I think it's because my mom went so much out of her way to make Christmas feel that way. That's why it's so important to me to get surprises. And, also Yeah. My dad never kept a surprise ever. If he got a gift, he would literally immediately come home and be like, I got you this. And my mom would be like, are you f**king kidding me? So I try really hard, but Billy's the same way. He immediately wants to give. Yeah. That's love always for me. It's true. I I remember even when I was like, if she they like, they don't you know how people wait for Christmas day to, like, put the gifts out? Because, obviously, that's when Santa comes. Like, it was just, like, as we got gifts, like, we just saw more and more piling under the tree. So we knew we're like, it's mom and dad. You know? Like, it wasn't really, like, anything we really talked about in the house or anything, but I feel like that was something that I loved too. Like, I loved coming home from school and, like, seeing, like and then me and Jess would, like, go through them, like, how do we like, who got a new kid? My brother would do that too. And I'm like, so mad. And I would, like, I would, like, like, go like this to see what's inside. You didn't like I'm shaking it. The wrapping paper up. If I saw a piece of tape that was, like, loose, I would try. And my sister's like, get the f**k out of the younger kids. It's the younger siblings that we do that s**t. That's funny. Was like that. Yeah. I was very much like that. But I I I I just our Christmases are, like, really chill. You know? Like, it wasn't anything crazy, but I I feel like now as adults, like, now that we have kids and stuff with my mom, we meet we are, like, you know, forming our own traditions and stuff, but now we kinda go all out. And, like, now we want, like, you know, the kids to have little traditions and things like that. But I don't remember if we did anything. Like, I just I just don't really remember a lot from my childhood. Went hard for Christmas. So my uncles would, like, dress at Santa Time, like, come on thing on Christmas Eve. My mom would wait until Christmas Eve to put the presents under the tree. Like, she would wait till Christmas Eve night. She'd stay up, like, all night wrapping all our presents and put them under the tree so we could wake up, and it seems like Yeah. See, I totally would have I've done that for the kids. I still do that. Like, I'll wait. I won't put it out till, like, the day the night before. Christmas was so much in our house because, like, both sides of my family really enjoyed Christmas. I I love Christmas. I'm such a I love Christmas too. Always. I love it. I always I I just love any time to, like, celebrate and, like, decorate. I never decorate for fall. I never decorate for Halloween, but I always decorate for Christmas. I love that so much. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Let's face it. Sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming. Like, when your favorite podcast is playing and the person next to you is talking, your car fan is blasting, all while you're trying to find the perfect parking spot. 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It's like Christmas is gonna get here and then the New Year and then boom. It's like, what the f**k? You look at it blink, and it's gonna be spring. Oh, don't say that, please. No. But I do. So that's how I've been feeling. You know what's so funny? I I was on, my mom just texted me, and she goes, what does it mean when you keep seeing the time 1234? That happens to me today and yesterday. I'm like, girl, I see 111 cute. 2, 3 times a day. Like, I see it all the f**king time. I'm a tell her that's like angel numbers date. But, I was on Instagram before we hopped on here, and, you know Paris Hilton's mom, Kathy Hilton? Oh, yes. That family is just so funny. There I don't know if it was, like, a show one of Paris's shows or something, but I saw a clip. And she was chilling with her girlfriends, and she gave them, White Claws, and she thought they were seltzer waters. So she's, like, giving them the White Claws, and she's like, oh, this is this is a White Claw. It's just like a seltzer water. And then Paris comes in, and she's like, are you guys drinking alcohol? And I'm like, why are you drinking alcohol? Why? She's like she's like, why do you have a White Claw? Like, she's like asking their friends why they're just chilling drinking White Claws. And she's like, oh, I thought it was seltzer water. And I was cracking up because I remember when I was young, my mom had a friend named Frannie. She was, like, really Italian. I don't know if you if I've ever talked talked about her. That that was my mom's BFF, and she was, like, pure Italian, like, always had a cigarette in her mouth, like, always with her seltzer waters. And and I remember tasting it one time, and I was so young. I thought it was alcohol because of, like, that Like the fish. The fish taste on it. So my whole, like, life, I so I could do not. I went throughout my life thinking, like, seltzer water had, like, alcohol in it until I got older. That's so cute. Yeah. And so that had the weird, like, aftertaste, like, tonic water has a weird aftertaste. So I'm like, this gotta be alcohol, bro. Like, I'm like, I cannot. And then she would offer me some, and I would look at her like she was crazy. I'm like, I can't drink that. So like, I'm a child. And I'm like, now I think about it. I'm like, I probably thought I was crazy. That's so funny. They're like, I wonder what her versions to bubbles is. Like, I'm over here thinking she's offering me alcohol. Like, it's just my crazy Italian aunt. Like, no. That's so weird. You're going to school. You're like, my aunt tried to get me there late this weekend. Weekend. So That's so funny. Yeah. Was cracking up. I'm trying to remember, like, what the discourse around alcohol was in my family. Like, my Italian side of the family is very lax with it. Like, if we were Yeah. Wanted to try something, we would Like wine and stuff too? Yeah. When my so I've talked about how I've got family that still lives in Italy. So my cousin lives in Italy and she would come to visit especially more often when, like, my grandparents were alive and things like that. And she came with her daughter. Her daughter was, like, maybe 2 years old. And they dumped a bottle of beer out or they drank it, and then they washed it out and they put water in it. And they just, like, let the baby walk around with the beer bottle like that and just, like, tricked everybody who was coming into the house that she was just drinking beer and that nobody cared. It was hysterical. Like, that's the discourse around alcohol. And I think funny. That's a very European mentality, and I think that's why I don't they don't struggle with, like, binge drinking and things like that as much as Americans do because the culture of drinking in America is very interesting. Because there's places like Ireland and Germany and stuff, and they drink like Oh, yeah. They pound that s**t out there. The same issues as here, you know? No. That's very true. I never even thought about that. It's just interesting. Like, I didn't drink until my senior year of high school, so then I went heavy, when I went to college, especially, like, my 1st year of school. I went heavy into it. And then my friends, a lot of them start drinking at, like, 12 or 13. And I think about that all the time. Like, I look at the kids in my life, and I'm like, there's no way. But there is a way. Like, they are doing it happen. They're they're around it. Like, I was around it, but I didn't do it. I think I also there's a lot of, like, and addiction in my family that my mom was actually really vocal with me about that. I think I knew enough about it being like genetic that I was very afraid even even in my 20s like I didn't really experiment with drugs that much. I only ever really done, like, molly and ecstasy, but at all other things and, obviously, cannabis, but I don't consider that a drug. I think I consider a plant like Yeah. Same. I've only done I haven't done, like, a cannabis. Don't yeah. And I it never appealed to me because I'm scared. Like, I'm scared that I would get addicted. Mhmm. I feel the same way. And I think it just become like, it was mostly from I know that stemmed from my dad because I know when I would see him get drunk and, like, be f**king crazy. So as I got older, I was like, oh my gosh. Like, I don't ever wanna like, I didn't wanna be that person. Yeah. But then when I started hanging around people and all they were doing was drinking, I kinda did feel, like, forced into it. Like, I'm like, oh, the only way for me to, like, hang out with them or, like, be here hanging out and, like, having a good time at parties, I have to drink. But I always knew, like, my level. Like, I feel like all of my friends would always be way more drunk than I was. Yeah. I see. I sometimes I would sometimes I would fake being drunk because I'd be like, I, like honestly, no one I don't even I don't like the taste of a lot of alcohols. And back then, it was always, like, Bacardi, like, really hard liquor that was disgusting. Like, the dirty now we have, like, fruit ones, which I f**k with. I can do, like, fruity liquors and stuff like that, but I can't do those straight up, like, Bacardi Limon and thing. And that's the s**t that we were buying because it was cheap. You know? But I f**king hated it. Like, I hated tasting alcohol. I hated getting drunk. Like, it was, like, a trigger for me, but that was, like, what everyone was doing, like, when we would go to parties and stuff. So I would literally, like, fake like, if I was sick or I would just have a cup the whole time, and that would just be my cup, but no one would really see me drinking it. You know? I'd be like, yeah. I'm getting lit, but not really taking sips of this s**t. Like but it's just it's crazy because I always did have that in the back of my mind. Like, I don't ever wanna be sloppy drunk to the point where I remind myself of, like, family members or, like, things like that. I wish I could say the same. I like, I'm trying to think, and we've been friends since we were 22. Get me wrong. You've I've you've seen me, like, get drunk. Have. I've seen you, you know. But you know you know I'm not, like, a person that, like, goes out and gets blacked out. You don't get wasted or blacked out. Yeah. Exactly. At that time of our lives, like, 21, 22 is when we met. Like Yeah. That was kind of the norm. Do you know what I mean? For the other people we were around. Mhmm. And you definitely have seen me like that, but I've never I feel like maybe, like, maybe a handful of times I've seen you like that, and that's pushing it. Like, I'd say maybe 3. And I feel like people would say, you know, because we didn't live in the same state, but we lived in the same state when you were in that phase of your life because when you moved to Delaware, you were momming. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You weren't doing that s**t. And when we would drink when we would come over, we'd, like, drink wine. Night, we would get Like, tipsy. Do you know what I mean? We and I knock on wood. Knock on wood. I I can't tell you the last time I blacked out. I was probably, like, 25, 26. Like, I hit 25, and I couldn't do anymore. I was just telling Billy I've been feeling more social lately, which, again, I think is a side effect of the medication, and I wanna go out more and I wanna do things. So I'm, like, excited about that for the coming year. Yeah. But I a lot of socializing, and we've discussed this before on the podcast, is surrounded around drinking. And there's not a problem with it. I just don't like it. Like, I don't like feeling like that anymore. I don't like feeling sick the next day because I always feel sick. Doesn't matter what I do. It doesn't matter if I've got I've got the patches. I've got, like, what IV. I take Advil. I do so much, and I still don't feel well. So my body is rejecting it. My body doesn't want me to, so I was talking to Billy about finding, like, some sort of cannabis alternative that's like a tincture that I could put in drinks because I know that they make like, I think it's called can can or canna. It's a cannabis, like, drink that you can drink socially, but, they don't that hasn't come to New Jersey yet. New Jersey is still relatively new in the legality side of things, so our dispensaries don't have a lot. So I'm like, should I make my own? But I've been thinking about that because Yeah. There has to be different ways to socialize. And I know that there's been, like, more sober curiosity, like, on the Internet. So I've I've seen so many younger people going, quote, unquote, like, California sober, which means, like, you still smoke weed. Yeah. And stuff like that, and I love that. I've been seeing a lot of those drinks too, and I've I've actually seen a ton of celebrities come out with them Yes. Where it's like, it's not alcohol, but it gives you that feeling of, like, if you're, I guess, not drunk, but, like, tipsy or whatever. Yeah. So you don't feel, like, I guess, left out of, like, whatever social aesthetic you're in. And I thought I always thought that was, like, so interesting to me because it's like that if I can get that feeling and, like, not be drunk, a 100% I would take that over, like, half percent of alcohol. So I'm like, maybe I should just get these things. I like to, like I do feel like, you know, it it it makes me feel a little bit more loose and, like, not so much in my head, like, just being you know, having a little drink, whatever. You know, I try my best not to ever abuse it because I am scared, and I know that that s**t you know, it can be Oh, yeah. I struggled with that a lot in my early 20s. I definitely had a drinking problem. I would never say that I was an alcoholic, but I definitely struggled with drinking. I used it to cope. I blacked out. Like no. But a lot of fun times I've had, you know, like parties and, like, drinks were involved, you know? So it's like Absolutely. It is fun. I have some of my, like, really fun times with friends, and we're able to do that sober and non sober. But, like, it is nice. Like, I sometimes you do feel, like, left out if you're, like, in a setting like that, and everyone's drinking, and everyone's taking shots, and then they're looking at you like, oh, are you not gonna drink? And it's like so I can imagine how hard that is for, like, people. You know? Yes. And I always used alcohol as like a social weaver kit because as much as I am, like, I feel like an ambivert, I do sometimes struggle with social anxiety in the sense that, like Yeah. I, I call it masking. Like, I if I'm in a social situation and I'm not, like, lubricated, socially lubricated either stoned or, like, tipsy or whatever, I'm definitely masking. So Mhmm. I always felt way I felt more uninhibited. I felt sexier. I felt more confident. I felt so many other things, that alcohol gave me that I had never felt in my life, and I think that that's the slippery slope for people. I totally understand the appeal, and it's listen, Addiction could affect anybody. Like, it's a disease, and it you it could affect anybody. And I'm not villainizing alcohol. I think that alcohol is fun. I like to drink sometimes. Those drink. Yeah. I think you can have a healthy relationship with alcohol not villainizing it. Exactly. That's the thing. Like, have trying to have that balance of, like, it's healthy, but, you know, like, I don't wanna get to the point where I feel like I need it. Like, now I'm I know, like, I don't I could be around my friends, and, like, we're all at that age right now where we could all just be in a room and we don't have to drink. Like, we all just have conversation and we have fun and we just enjoy each other's company. Mhmm. But, yeah, when you're, like, in your twenties and stuff, think about us back then. Like, that's not so much the situation. I wasn't doing anything without drinking. Every situation was a drinking situation. Yep. And if it wasn't, I would turn it into 1. Yeah. So if you're doing that so much, like, in your twenties or you start doing that, it's easy for it to carry on until, like, your adult life too. And maybe it it does become a problem. So it's hard. It's really hard. You guys, I have a confession. I did not finish all of my Christmas shopping. Yes. I know. 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So I was out of work for, like, 4 months. Yeah. Billy was working still every day. Like, Billy was home. He worked from home, but he was working every day. A lot of my friends were working. Like, the majority of my friends were still working. So it would be, like, it would start, you know, oh, it's 5 o'clock somewhere. It would be like 4 o'clock. Yep. And I'd start pouring myself a wine or, like, making myself a martini. Then it was 3 o'clock. Then it was 2 PM. Then it was 1 PM. Then it was noon. And then it was 11 AM. And then I'm drinking for, like, a longer period of time, and I was drinking every day. And I was, like, oh, no. Like, this has gotta end. Like, I gotta stop. I was coping because I was definitely triggered. I have PTSD. So, like, I was so I was just talking to to Billy about it. Like, I don't I didn't realize, like, how fight or flight mode I was in during the pandemic. Like, because I'm overweight and because I have asthma, I was genuinely afraid to die. Like, I think a lot of my friends were you being really scared. I was afraid to die. You were always telling me, like, when you get your groceries, like, make sure you spray it down. Like, you were very, like, triggered by the whole thing. Very much. And I was just I was, like, the same way at some point. You know? Like, I was getting scared because everyone around me was getting you know? So it's like that thing where I'm like, oh, s**t. Like, this s**t is real. But, like, I I feel the same way. I remember me and Joe would take out the cirocado and, like, take shots, like, randomly at, like, 4 or 5. Like, we're not doing that on a normal Tuesday. Like, it's like, what the f**k? But we were, like, having that Ciroc bottle out, you know, to take some shots every now and then. And it was just, like, I don't even I guess that was, like, our way to cope or something. Yes. Absolutely. And I think more people, I think that they have a lot of guilt for the way that they coped through the last 3 years. I think a lot of people turn to alcohol, substances, food, so many things. And I think so many people feel guilty, and I'm definitely a victim of that. But I just have to say, you know, however you survived through that mentally and physically is valid. And now, I definitely feel, I think, a shift in everybody, that we're just kind of coming out of that, and and it's okay. Everyone's, like, trying to focus more on their mental health and, like, self care and stuff because we kinda did. Like, I feel like it was like I was not taking care of myself throughout the pandemic because I was just so focused on other things, like, just getting through the day. And I wasn't focusing on, like, taking care of myself. I was just trying to focus on, like, the household and, like, this virus not getting to us, you know. Like, it was just we were always on fight or flight mode. Like, it's we had no time to just take care of ourselves. Mhmm. And I was just reading something really interesting, and it was that, I've been, like, following this neurologist on is that the correct neurologist is the brain doctor. So The brain. Mhmm. Yes. Okay. This neurologist, and he is, like, an ADHD specialist and all those things. So I've gotten really into, like, supplements and foods and stuff for brain health because brain optimization don't even get me started. We we could be here for hours. It's so important, and I'm really afraid of getting Alzheimer's and dementia. So Mhmm. But she's saying your family? Yes. Like all of my children. My, grandfather on my dad's side, had Alzheimer's. Okay. And but he was also a severe alcoholic. For the majority of his life, he died a severe alcoholic. So, I don't know how you know, alcohol will affect your brain, affects every function. So I don't know if that was a direct result of the alcoholism because that's a very common, comorbidity, but, I have been afraid of it. So it does run-in my family, and I and I know I've heard that it skipped generations. I really don't understand that genealogy. But, I also just think there's so many heavy metals and free radicals and microplastics and harmful things in the air and things that we absorb every single day that even if it doesn't run-in your family, there is a bigger possibility of you getting in nowadays. But she was saying that the brain is actually not biologically wired to be happy. Like, we happiness is a thing that we have to teach ourselves and, like, almost condition our brains to become. So I think so many people put so much pressure, and it's like, I don't feel happy. I I want to feel happy. Why don't I? Like, is why don't I feel, quote, unquote, normal? But it's not normal. Our we are animals. Our instincts, so we're always in survival survival mode. We're always looking out for, like, things that could potentially harm us. Think about when you're driving. Think about being a woman in general. Just think about so much. And then Yeah. Add the pandemic and the fear of that and living in a fight or flight mode that your brain has been so conditioned in general to you, but especially in the last 3 years to feel like that. So now it's deconditioning your brain and reconditioning it to be happy and wired it to be. And that I I personally found so much comfort in that because I'm somebody who for the my entire life struggled with the idea of the fact that I've never felt like what people describe as happiness. Yeah. Truly. No. I feel that. I I'm trying to find I was reading this book, and it talks a lot about happiness too. And, I'm trying to find because I screenshotted something, and I remember wanting it wanting to, like, share it with you. Okay. So I'm reading it's called Master Your Emotions. I was reading it, and it says Love. According to an author she's an author of The How of Happiness. It says 50% of our happiness is determined by genetics. Oh, great. And And 40 Yeah. I'm f**ked. Dude, 40% by internal factors and only 10% by external factors Which makes sense. Which makes so much sense. Yeah. But I never knew that our happiness was determined by, like, genetics. Like, I was like, what the f**k? So, like, that's so crazy. I never knew that in my life. Is so interesting and makes so much sense because my mom's outlook on life is very different than my dad's and very different than mine at times. Yeah. And it says so it basically says, like, the bottom line is your attitude towards life influences your happiness, but not what happens to you. And I was just like, I don't know how I feel about that. Like, I get I know, like, your the way you react to things and, like, your yeah. That does determine, you know, your outcome in life and, essentially, yeah, your happiness. But I don't necessarily think that, like, what happens to you doesn't determine your happiness either. Absolutely not. There's plenty of external versus, like, financial, medical, mental, partner, you just so many things that 100% affects your ex. A 100%. A 100%. But that's so interesting because it's a it's a very similar ideology to people believing, like, once I become a millionaire, I'll be happy. Once I lose the GBPods, I'll be happy, etcetera. Outside that business. Reach that destination, and they're wondering, like, why don't I feel happy? Because it's all internal work. And I also think very much, like, the fallacy of, one true love and things like that. The idea of happiness that we have doesn't exist. And I think that that is such a hard pill to swallow. Mhmm. And I think our brains, like, were so what the the the story that we've been given as, like, a society is, like, happiness is what, like, having a partner, having a house, having a career, like, having kids, like, that would that's what they focus on so much. So that's what our brain immediately thinks, like, that's just happiness. Like, we have to have those things, but happiness is so many different things, like, for us personally, and it's all different as per person. Like, something that I feel is happiness might not be the same for someone else. You know? Like, you might not see as much happiness in something that I do, but I feel like our brains are so conditioned to think, like, these main things have to bring you happiness. And it's like, no. Like, I think it's like a not it's not happiness is not a one size fits all type thing for everyone. That's definitely a product of the capitalistic society because it only benefits them if we think that, if we're driven by the idea that happiness is financial and materialistic, Materialistic. Continue to be like worker bees, and we're gonna keep our head down and work towards a goal that honestly and this is, again, another hard pill to swallow, but made me feel more comfortable, that the majority of people will never reach. It only benefits people who are in positions of authority and financially they have the monopoly financially to make you believe that it's possible for every single person to reach that, but at the end of the day, it's not because that wouldn't benefit them, and it doesn't benefit our society. There's there's always been a hierarchy financially. I also feel like I've seen a shift in people kind of going back to the things that, I think all humans need for happiness, which is connection, health, virility, hobbies. I I've I've seen so many people. And this this happens. This has happened all throughout our history, especially during times like this in our economy where people then turn more towards homesteading. So they're gardening more. They're making things from scratch more because they have to. But I think in having to do that, the realization comes from there's a lot of happiness to be had from simplicity and, like, making your own bread and Like, I just talked about it. Food and things like that. We've been cooking more and stuff. Like, we're been we've been finding happiness in that because, you know, we're making ourselves a healthy meal and, like, our families and stuff like that. But it's also, like, I think that's, like, simplicity. You know? Like, most people won't be like, oh my god. I'm so happy when I'm cooking. You know? But but it's like it it's giving us, like, kind of kind of a different we're tapping into different things that we know make us happy, and that's not like a materialistic thing or anything. You know? So I'm sure while you're doing all of your Christmas shopping, there's several ghosts you're thinking about that your kids want, and you're not really quite sure if they are old enough to have them, if they're responsible enough to have them, if you feel safe enough for them to have them. And I know personally from having friends with children, having a lot of kids in my life, that technology is something that makes parents apprehensive, rightfully so. It's a very hard thing to manage, I can imagine as a parent. That's why I wanna tell you about Gabb's holiday sale. Gabb is a leader in safe phones and watches for kids, teens, and tweens with no social media apps, no Internet browser, and GPS tracking. Gabb devices were built from the ground up specifically for kids and teens and are the way to keep your kids safely connected. And Gabb Phone and Watchers are still tech kids actually want. 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I think I know we've talked about it, you know, romanticizing, but I think romanticizing is just finding joy in the simple things that everybody can attain. And, ultimately, what I, in my opinion, would make our society a lot happier. And, when I went to my doctor and my doctor told me that 30% of his patients are there for mental health. So one that signals to me about everybody is struggling and 2 that signals to me that our health care system is failing us because your primary care doctor should not be who you see for your mental health. The majority of Americans Americans cannot afford medical health care, therapy, medication, and things like that. So they can only go through their primary or insurance is a blockade to that because you need to get prescribed of your primary care physician to go see a therapist, etcetera. It's so None of them won't take private insurance either. Like, you gotta pay out of pocket. Like, that was the issue I was having. Like, like, oh my god. It's too much. It's hard. And I I think the my point in bringing this all up is I think that it for me personally, it brings me so much comfort to know that other people think I'm feeling the same way that I do and that I'm not an outcast or that I'm not isolated because I'm feeling these things. And I think the majority of Americans are feeling like this right now. All been there or have been there multiple times within the past, like, 2 to 3 years. You know? Yeah. It's been really, really rough. So been rough. I just and and I think that's my hope for this holiday season for everybody. And, I hope, you know, that we just kind of find happiness in where it is other than, like, the consumerism part of it and the aspect of that and just finding joy in, like, really easy things like baking holiday cookies with each other, being together, watching Christmas movies. Best time when I was, like, with the girls making those little pies. Like, those are the things that I love to do the most. Like, I know people, like, they see me. I'm I'm very, like we're both very family oriented, and I'm so close with them. So, like, when they come over, I wanna create things for us to do. Like, I just I actually had my first purchase on Timu, and they have a lot of cute Christmas, like, games. So I was like, okay. I'm gonna get this game so that we can all play, like, for Christmas. And it's like different things that you use in the kitchen, and then it may if they tell you, like, fun things to do with them and everything. And then we're gonna do that game where you have, like, the box on your butt and you gotta, like I know you've seen it. You have to, like, get the balls out and stuff like that, but I'm like, I just wanna do different like, fun different create different memories. You know? Like, that's, like, my main thing, and it does suck that some that s**t still costs money. You still have to, like, buy things and stuff. But it's, like, the thought behind it. Like, I just want all of us to be together and, like, engaging and, like, having fun. Like, that's what I always have seen the holidays as. Like, not I can't sit here and tell you what gifts I've ever gotten when I was young. I don't really remember much. I don't remember. And I I think about that all the time. Like, the kids aren't gonna f**king care about the gifts, and that's not the thing. Like, yeah, we do gift giving and stuff, But it's like the whole vibe of Christmas in itself and like what we make it like, we do things with the kids, we create traditions with them and like, just having a house waking up to a house full of like family. It's the best f**king feeling in the world. That is my Christmas. Like, I don't give a f**k about any gift I get. Like, that is my fave my Christmas. And I'm I I even asked the kids, like, what was your favorite part of Christmas? And it's never, oh, the gifts or anything. Like, it's always, oh, we got to spend time with our cousin, Ally, and Caesar. We we know like, everyone was here in the house. We had so much fun, or we made this and we played this game. It's never focused on gifts. So that's why I'm like, I know we're doing the right thing, you know, because if we make it so family oriented for them that they love that and they look forward to that. Mhmm. So that's where, like, our happiness comes in. It's just like family. I think, you know, I said I feel like I sound like a a boomer. I'm sorry. I know we do we have like a varying, age demographic here, so I'm not saying that in a negative way. But I'm only 32. So sometimes I do feel like I sound like an like a grandma when I'm like, these kids, they stay. You told me. But I think that we, like, really as a society and, like, in our family units because family has changed so much. I think the nuclear family is few and far between, and our idea of family has changed. I think, family is not blood. I don't you know, there's just so many different ways to have a family. Yeah. Whatever is closest to you. That a lot of us, I don't know. Like, if if you guys experience this, but I think that we can all, like, go to our holidays at some point in time. And remember when we were all sitting there on our cell phones or the kids were on their iPads or they were distracted by doing something else, and I think that a lot of where we're having issues connecting and where kids are struggling to, do that and it's affecting them now, is because we focus so much on, like, individuality and Mhmm. Technology and stuff for entertainment when we really should be, like, reconnecting. So I'm gonna try to challenge everybody, you know, like, maybe play a new game at Christmas or Oh, yeah. Do something around the season. My mom told me, Christmas or Oh, yeah. Do something around the season. My mom taught me phase 10 that card game last time. Game. And it's so f**king fun. It is fun as hell. I love that game. Yeah. Or even, like, charades. Like, you don't need anything for or I don't know. Like, for me I have a whole thing of of board games and s**t, like, a whole closet, and I bring that whenever anyone's at the house, I'm always, like, let's play a game. Let's that's, like, my main thing. When I have parties too, I bring out the what do you mean? Like, people are always, like, be what game are we playing? Like, we just it's so much fun. Like, that's how I connect with people. Like, I wanna play games, and I wanna get to know you. And, like, I don't wanna just sit on our phones. And even with the kids, when we have people over, they know immediately, like, you can't be on your iPads. Like, they do not grab their iPads. Like, I try I'm like, this is the bad enough we don't see family as much or friends, so I don't want you just And the limited tech you guys are 2,000. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like, so they already they won't even try and, like, go for their iPads really or anything, but they try not to. But I understand. It is it is hard. Like, it is hard. I feel like technology has, like, taken over a lot of our time, and it's just something that we immediately go to. You know? But I really do try and keep it as, like, at, like, a minimum. Like, in the for the most part, like, when people are at my house and, like, I'm usually playing playing music on my phone, so that's another thing. I can't I can't really do much on it because I have the music playing. So I think that's good for me because I'm just I won't really pay attention to it. Yeah. So that's good. But I don't wanna be, like, in my phone. I don't wanna see people, like, on their phone and stuff. Like, I want us to, like, be we're together, so be together. Mhmm. You know? Yeah. I will warn everybody though, like, categories. Do not bring that out around the holidays, my friends. We have banned categories. We can't place categories together because there's always a fight. Yeah. Because there's always, like, a argument about, like, what one person deems, like, a word or a point and what other person doesn't. So Doesn't it? Categories is banned, which is unfortunate because I really love categories as someone who loves words. But Billy and I kill it in categories. We f**king kill it in categories. I love the I have a lot of the what do you meme, packs and stuff, so we play that a lot. I have I even have a family one that we play with the kids. And then I have, like, more I have a lot of adult games. I have, like, never have I ever, like, things like that and a lot of those card those fun card games. I get them from Target. And I also gift those peep I gift games to people too, like, for, like, our friends. Like, if they like them, I'll gift it to them for for Christmas or something like that too so that they can play, you know, when they have time, whatever. But I just I love me some board games, bro. I just thought BB had to play Battleship the other day, and I am I am undefeated. I'm an undefeated Battleship player in my household. Like, Joe me and Joe have played a million times. He's never beat me not once. And he thinks I'm cheating. And I'm like, how the f**k would I cheat on battleship? Like, I can't see you. Like, there's no it's it's about being in your mind. Like, I'm like, I know where you're gonna put your vote. I can get into your brain and think, I know. I know. I'm like, if you can you can play me one time, and I know the next time you're gonna be like, oh, she's never gonna guess where I'm gonna put this. Oh, and you're gonna put it in the the way a place that you think I'm never gonna think, and I think it and I know it. I'm like, I just I get in your brain. I'm I'm just like, I know it. I just know. But he gets so mad. He's like, I can't believe, like, after 12 years, I still have not beat you in Battleship. And in BD, I taught her, and she did not beat me either. I was like, don't think that I'm just gonna let you be win this s**t. Like, I mean, I have a title here to hold on to. Like, you're not special. Like, so she was mad because I didn't let her win. I'm like, girl, hell no. It's so funny because, like, I'm honestly, like, not a big participator. There's only certain games that I will participate in, but I I I'm an observer, so I like when other people are playing games around me. Like, you're playing, you watch it. I get bored, like, participating. So a lot of the times, I don't wanna join in unless it's something I really wanna do. Like, I like pigs categories. I like playing scrabble. Yeah. It's gotta be a fun game. Playing flip cup. I love flip cup. Never have I ever. I love playing, cheers to the governor or cheers to the general. That's a drinking game how my friends and I have planned. We love it. It's so funny. Thank you. I I'm just those kind of things are fun. But other than that, I'm not a big participator, so my friends are probably like, what the f**k are you talking about? But my family has always played games. Like, people like, which is, like, big though. Yeah. And it would get heated. I told my family we need to bring that back. My uncle was the one who, like, loved playing that and would bring it out. So ever since he passed away played it. It. I have this one card game that's called, ducking high, and it's like it's, you would love it. It's really funny. Like before? Yeah. Questions that yeah. Me, you, and Joe played it. Did he or and wasn't Natalie there or something? Natalie was like all of that, I think. And Joe also played on our lives when we went live together. Was that the game that we played? Yes. I don't remember. I love that game. It's so funny. It's like questions that get you high. Like, you don't even have to be high, but it just get there's so many funny questions on there that make you f**king think. And I'm like playing it high is a bonus, but it's like you don't even have to be on anything to play that game. It just sparks funny as conversation. So that's a really good game. I love that game. I have to go through I'm gonna do a little video of all the games. I have to show you guys, like, my closet of, like, all the games. You're gonna be like, what the f**k? Like, it's so much, but I just love I love games. Oh, so speaking of lives, we'll be together. This airs on 11th. So, yeah, we'll be together the week that this airs. We're gonna be doing content. We're gonna go live together. So many of you have been asking us to go live, so we're we're gonna have some fun stuff going on. So that's gonna be on 15th then. Right? Mhmm. On Friday 15th. So Friday 15th Which is Set your calendars. We're gonna be going live. We don't know what time yet, but we'll let you guys know. We're gonna be together, like I said. So we're gonna be doing some fun stuff. We'll play some games. Play a game. Maybe you guys can win some prizes. There's gonna be fun stuff. Gift coins? Yeah. We're gonna have a lot of fun. Some gift coins. Yeah. We're gonna have a lot of fun. So I'm so excited. Wanted to put that out there. And also let us know what you wanna see from us. Like, what kind of content do you want Vee and I to give you together or things like that. Like, we told you we're stepping it up in 2024, and we're starting next week while we're together. Yes, ma'am. So we'll see you guys on our live, and then we'll see you guys next week. Yes. So we'll talk to you guys next week. Yeah. Alright, guys. Love you. Bye. Bye. I love reality TV on Pluto TV. Same. And I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives Vault Channel. I'm totally free to watch Bad Girls Club. I'm free for Jersey Shore. Love and Hip Hop? I'm free all day. Survivor? I'm free all night. With 100 of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto TV. Pluto TV, stream now. Hey, never. Hi. I'm Stassi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with, like human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it, and you will too. Listen to my podcast, Staci, wherever you get your podcasts.
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