Part 1: Asa Akira + Bung Lu Su (Carolla Classics)

Transcript

Thanks for listening to the Adam Carolla show on PodcastOne. Hi, this is Daniel from the Real GM Radio podcast, and I'm taking the Miami Heat over the Philadelphia 76ers and their Game two on Wednesday. Bottom line has free odds and lines available online or on your mobile device. Visit Bet Online Dot Net today. Don't get caught napping when it comes to your health experience. The award winning layers of comfort perfected by nectar sleep with the optimal levels of firmness, coolness, breathability and comfort. Two million happy sleepers can't be wrong. Nectar mattresses come with $399 and accessories including a sheet set, mattress protector and premium pillows enjoy a 365 night home trial, forever warranty and free shipping and returns when you shop from the convenience of your own home. Not only is Nectar better for your sleep and your body, but it's also better for the planet. Nectar mattresses are 100 percent carbon neutral, and because it's built to a higher standard, your mattress lasts way longer than other brands, reducing its environmental impact. Over 60000 five star reviews prove Nectar is the right mattress for every kind of sleeper. Go to Nectar Sleep dot com today. That's an easy TR sleep dot com for $399, and accessories and prices starting at just $499. Hello and welcome to Gorilla Classics for Saturday, May 7th, 2022. The show replay highlights of the Adam Carolla show's 13 plus years in the podcasting game. Thank you so much for tuning in. My name is Chris Lock Samana. I'm the executive producer of the Adam Carolla Show. And with me, as always, Carol archivist, superfan Giovanni. Happy Saturday, Chris, the producer, miracle worker of the Adam Carolla show, and the entire network. It's been a fun week. Yeah, Dawson was out on a cruise ship and has been out. Yeah, it's just it's been. It's been a lot. But we got through it and actually it was a really good week. I loved all the while. The feelings for Gina while she was gone was a lot of fun. Jody Miller's great the DAX and Anna from TMZ killed it, and other guests were great too. So look, it's been a solid week of The Kroll Show, and that's all I can ask for. All right. Well, let's get going to some older clips and replace some of our favorite memories. Before we do that, I want to remind everybody, if you want to submit a clip request to us, it's easy to get a hold of Jill or myself. Just email us classics at Adam Curl accom. Let us know your favorite memory or what you want to hear from the show. We'll play it on on the classics, or you can find us on Instagram at Giovanni Georgio or at crits locks them a one. Let us know what you want to hear this first clip. We're going to go back to 2014, when Asa Akira was on the show. Now, who is that you? She's an adult film actress. The Adam Carolla show doesn't really have a lot of adult film performers, not active ones on. Usually it's more retired people. Adam's known from previous radio shows and things, so having a role is kind of unusual. So great guests. A lot of fun. She really makes the podcast circuit she calls the podcast like David Show, his DVD as she's done tons of stuff and she came on shows a lot of fun. She talked about being a dominatrix and how she kind of just like, stumbled into the industry. And I also want to play those clips are some fun re-enactments between Adam and Brian. It's the Adam Carolla show 13 08 Asa Kira, Alison Rose and Brian Bishop April 2014. Check out this fun little chunk of give her backstory and Adam and Brian having some fun with it. Whereas a lot of the white guys are like, asses, my favorite hole. So I have that on my license plate frame. What was another title your book? Yeah, it'll be the next one. No, they haven't. They'll get God willing when the great Dr. Martin Luther King vision comes true, they will come to that place where a*s is their hole and where they're getting beat. By riders crop and running around the bit, their mouth, they just have not advanced. You got to get their first start of the life. No, there's a couple of things I've said many times. If you want to go be dominated, you got to be the boss man. I feel like it's the boss man who comes in there. He's in charge of 200 people. And then at night he comes and sees you. And now it's your turn to dominate him. Generally, when you're getting your a*s kicked all day doing roofing jobs, you don't want to go in and get your a*s kicked again or pay someone to kick your a*s. You're paying somebody to rub your balls, right? I mean, it's the opposite. You're paying for the opposite of of what you have. I agree. Yeah, I feel like I feel like, as I said many times when it comes to eating pussy is squeak from my black guy for my bass and my my football team over at L.A. Valley College said, I don't need anything that gets up and walks away when I'm done. He's very poetic. Mm hmm. Yeah. So my theory holds true with the yeah, with the dominatrix, for sure. Mostly just white guys and probably pretty well to do. Right? Yeah, definitely. A lot of like business man bosses, like you said, a lot of Hasidic Jewish people. Oh my. I wasn't their type. Oh, they're not into me. Like, they like, like the blondes. So, yeah, no, that is their f**kin kryptonite. The Jews, you show them a blonde. Yeah, yeah. Well, also, it's like not cheating if she's not Jewish, right? I think for them, that's like what it is. Yeah, whatever. Whatever their logic is, you're not even like human. There's there's a part where you want to work a super naughty. There's there's a part of sex that I never really quite. I mean, I understand it, but it doesn't hold a big allure for me, which is like my plan was always just have sex with the best looking person that would let me have sex with them. That was always my plan. Or as ever, there's a lot of guys that need a lot of other stuff back then. And I never understood that part where it's like, I need to be humiliated or you need to be humiliated or I needed to do s**t. Not because it felt good to me, but because felt bad to you. Like all, like all these other layers I never needed, I just figured, f**k and find someone who's good looking and see if they'll hold still and let you have sex on them. I also think it's like kind of a different era now. Like now that kids are growing up with porn on the internet, you know, they've been watching porn since like they were eight. You know, like a**l is no big deal to them. I just got them to view master disk with a**l. I mean, I'm old school, but a new school term progressive. You know what? Don't mix it up with the Grand Canyon one. Or maybe you should. It's a gigantic hole. Yeah, right? So, yeah, I mean, it's a lot of spitting and smacking and all that stuff. So, so a year or so of that. And what was it? What was your average call like? Your average? Joe varied so much. I mean, some of them were not even submissive, really, like a lot of guys would just come into role play and jerk off because at the dungeon, there's absolutely no sex. The furthest we can go like, we can touch them if we're beating them, or if they're like sucking on our toes or something, but we cannot give them handjobs. Nothing like that is totally such prudes. Yeah. So I really don't like strip clubs are way more. Yeah. Hooker three. Then a dungeon. I feel like the dungeon floor should be sort of like the one in a birdcage where there's the grill that everyone walks on. And then underneath it's the sports section from USA today. Like, I don't feel like I feel good in that dungeon floor with the toe sucking, you know, and a lot of beaten knife going on. Well, if you're not into it, you wouldn't even be there. No. Fair point. Self-selecting standpoint. Seriously, the carpet is there. Carpet in the dungeon. There's no carpet. It's really cold. It smells like rubbing alcohol. And it's I mean, it has a weird energy to it, for sure. Like, it doesn't feel like you don't walk in like, Ooh, this is a nice, cozy place. Where are they beaten off in front of me? Uh huh.. Let me tell you that what we're doing is what is wondering. Yeah, um, I guess. It was a while ago, I guess, it went into their hand. Now that I know that not all of it there didn't. I mean, there's definitely DNA everywhere. Yeah, and and the like. And in terms of your proximity, when they're beating off where we're at, because, yeah, I'd be behind them because I've seen sperm go every which way, but loose. I don't think I cared much about it. You didn't. I don't remember thinking about it that much. You weren't wearing like a hazmat suit or. No, no. And then I mean, it wasn't like everyone came. A lot of guys would come high on Coke and all that. Good luck. Yeah. So they would just book like six hour sessions and just never come. But I'd kind of be touching their dicks full time, you know? Sure. Yeah. Did it did? Now, was that a good thing? Like when you knew the guy was picked up, you're like, on one hand, he's picked up, on the other hand. No, flinches, you know? For me, I hate Coke. And like I, when I was a dominatrix, it was definitely like a drug phase of my life. Like, I was partying, I should say. But I never liked coke, and people on Coke are really annoying to me. So like, I never really enjoyed it, but I did have this one guy who smoked crack. Hmm. And I never did it with him until this one time. And it was I smoked crack with yeah, and it was like the most amazing feeling ever felt. Yeah, like that's f**king great. But then I came down so hard and I never did it because it was just too horrible. So most of these guys, you see a lot of the same guys. Mm hmm. And they would ask for you. Mm hmm. And would they just show up in their business attire? They've got a locker room over there at the dungeon and they see like the other guy, snap with the towel. Hey, looking good, looking to see out there. That was a workout. Yeah. No, it's not like that. Like, there's a locker room, but it's only for the girls, the guys, if they're doing any dressing and undressing, which they do because some of them like to wear leather or like to be naked or go up in a sex swing or whatever. Mm hmm. Because we would f**k them with strap ons. Oh, really? Yeah. Let's focus on that. But I work the night shift. So a lot of guys, a lot of it was like, you don't get that lunch crowd in there. Yeah. And there is a lunch crowd, so I didn't see them. So did you have your own dungeon? No, no. There's just the dungeon. It's just starting out. It was called The Nutcracker Suite, and they've actually shut down since got someone left a guy hanging by his ankles. And I guess they forgot about him. That could happen. And he almost died and I had to call the ambulance and everything. He didn't die. But I mean, that's was he past or was he really? Peterson, I think, was the thrombosis of his forehead. Oh my God. That was a car accident. No, he was walking down the street and mugged. What was there? A mugging? That's his fault. No, I feel like this could go on for days. So I'm just going to do what they I'm going to flip over all the cards. Just don't tell me it was working out. I told him, just be careful on the treadmills, burdensome calories. I knew I could tell you. I don't know. He may have tried to do a crunchy well. He was inverted. I'm not saying it wasn't working out. He was doing some crazy exercise. He was upside down. Well, he's being violently cornhole by a small Asian woman with a strap on, and then she'd forgot about it. What kind of a gym is either the best or the worst, depending on how you want to look at it? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if he was ultimately happy or upset or what. I mean, I'm sure ultimately upset right now. You can't leave your jeans hanging. Can I say this? If if I was beating off? Mm hmm. You know what it's like, Alison, when you're doing therapy and they kind of get that kind of start getting that wind up mode like you're right in the middle talking about how much you hate your stepdad and they're like, OK, well, these are these are all good thoughts of. And you can kind of tell they're not going on. We got a lot going on. But like, we've got a lot out of the lot to work with, like the saying is, I'll see you next year, like we're rolling it up. If I was trying to beat off an idol of coach buzz and you're kind of going, well, we've done a lot of corn hauling. You've been bad, but you'll be bad and you'll be bad again. I'll be like, b***h, you got shut up on this f**king because I know we're wrapping this up. We had a system which was 10 or I think it was either 10 or 15 minutes before the session ended. There was an intercom and the general manager of the place, which was like, this Harley Davidson dude would be like, it would be like, Beep. All right. 15. Aha. And usually over the intercom. But usually that's actually where they start jerking off. Sure. I mean, some guys jerk off the whole time like kind of know like half. Asked jerking off. It's that it's that when you're jogging and you hit a streetlight and you're running in place, you just you just kind of work for like 45 minutes. Right, right. And then the 15 minute on the British coast. Sorry, the blower and tells you it's, you know, do they ever want you to do things that you weren't comfortable with? Oh, sure, definitely. And they would be like, although other girls do it. But that was a trick, just mainly handjobs. I don't think they would have ever tried to go for more, especially, but especially like the submissive guys they don't actually want to f**k. Because for that, like for the same price, you could just go on Craigslist and get a hooker. Like they part of like the not getting laid is, I think, part of like the the thrill for them so they can obtain their whatever. Once you get really specific, like, you know, my mom's name is Mildred. Oh yeah. I mean, you got to work that elderly? Totally. There's a lot of that. Like, there was a guy with a dentist fetish that had a lot of guys with like micro penis. They had micro and micro penis. They literally had micro penis like the. I don't know if it's a disease or syndrome or what, but in addition, it's worth it. Oh yeah. Hey, sorry, sorry, no offense. But they would like to be humiliated about their small penises. That was a really common one golden shower. Some guys like to get s**t on. I wouldn't like I draw the line there. Well, for me, I need 24 hours notice. You know what I mean? Like movie s**t on you. Yeah, same with a**l. Like, I need. I need a heads up. And then with the cancellation you got to pay to. Yeah. Yeah, there's a. Because somebody's got to pay for all that fiber. Right, right. So now hold on a second. We just sort of glossed over the part where there was a swing and there's a strap on and a butt. Yeah, but f**king. That was probably my favorite thing. The butt f**king. Because for me, I'm not like, I'm not. I'm actually in sex. I've come to discover. I don't really like being dominant that much. Mm hmm. But one thing I really love doing is like wearing a strap on and f**king a guy. It's such a power trip. Like, it's no, it's where'd you go to finish school first? You learn to walk with this book on your head, then we get the strap on out. I would. I would find it to be a position of power. Well, you know who's in charge? Sure. And by the way, he's paying you by the hour to be anally raped. Yeah. With this piece of plastic? Yeah. Mm hmm. Jimi usually is rape. You have your strap on and you keep in one of those huge Blue Barber things, you know where they have like the blue water floating around because I wouldn't want to just go herbicide. Well, I wouldn't want you just coming back into the room with a strap on because it'll be like, I saw a guy limping out of here earlier and I could be the same like Jerry. Bring their own strap on buddies, or they have their own strap on. A lot of times they would bring in their own. We also provided them. I didn't have my own. I have my own now. But having your own strap on is like when the guy shows up to the lanes with his own wrist, rest, baseball and shoes. Like, Yeah, that's cool. Is that a loser? He's a pro, OK? He knows. He knows the game well. It's like showing up in your own pool. Cue, yeah, to be rife with which. I think it's kind of embarrassing, but I think within a dungeon, it's not that embarrassing. Now you're all on the same ever, ever guy showed up with something where you're like, There's no way that's going to fit in your a*****e. No, I've seen guys take really big things in their a*s like, you know, you know, when you go to like a sex shop and there's like that one butt plug on the counter that you think is just for show you. You ran for three hours, egg. I know. Yeah, you guys really use those girls don't. It's the guys. The guys are like total size queens about toys. Wait, how big is this butt plug on the counter right there? I mean, I've seen ones like this. I mean, I don't know how you're holding your arms. No, there's it's a spade shave the length of my arm. But I mean, guys are crazy. But I mean, you've seen like bowling pins side stuff. Oh yeah, definitely bigger than bowling pin. Hmm. And I think that's it's interesting, though, because it's like as submissive as these men are. I think. That's where, like a little bit of the muchness comes in, like a little bit of alpha male, right? I can take a bigger c**k than you. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Not itiveness does come in so. And girls aren't like that. We're not like, I can take a bigger dick than you like roast beef yourself. Yeah. You guys are are pragmatic that way. I want now most of these guys. Don't answer for a second. Just hold the thought, but married or single, don't answer. I suspect a lot of these guys are married and nobody has any idea what they're up to. And then what a f**king burden it be. If this is, you laugh all you want. But if this is your thing like your drug of choice, oh my God, how much time you have to carve out every week for this yet? So married single story. Yeah, I think they're all straight. Or else they would go see guys. Mm hmm. I think I think anything you do with a woman is straight or not gay. All right. Maybe not totally straight, but definitely not gay. Yeah. I mean, even if I'm f**king you with a strap on like you're not gay. No, like you just go for it's hard to make an argument for straight at that point at that moment, like that exact on, I'd wait until the thing was out of my a*****e. Then I'd start my dissertation about how straight I am. What if that was your thing, though? Does the dissertation on how straight you are while someone's f**king you with the strap on? Oh, I know at that moment. I'd make the Smucker's argument. You know how secure I am in my sexuality? Let me tell you how sick I am. There's a small Asian woman with a huge strap on right now that is penetrating me as I speak to you, ladies and gentlemen. Now, would this be the actions of a gay man who was trying to pretend he was straight? I don't think so. I kind of agree with that, though. Thank you. I mean, I know you're joking, but I'm not, you know, there's kind of I'm simply repeating my rap like, there's nothing more like you couldn't be any more confident in your sexuality than knowing you're straight and getting f**ked in your a*s. I mean, that's true. True. That's true. So but the answer to your question? Married or single? I don't know. I never asked them, I guess. I mean, I would imagine a lot of them are married. You had to have a guy fall in love with you, though. Never. Never at the dungeon. No, never any feelings. Oh, I mean, there had to be some guy walked in. There just looked like 28 year old Jon Hamm and you were like, What is this guy doing in here? And you're must have been thinking like, Wow, OK. You know, never young guys. Never, never young guys. Because young guys never had a young guy come in. Yeah, because they're not running the Fortune 500 company. Yeah. Made me feel the sting of the riders. Crap. Yeah. Or or maybe they're younger and so they can get this kinky s**t in their relationships, whereas the older guys are married to women who are like, Hell, no. True. That's very, very, very true. I think I think the newer generations are much more open to this weird s**t, and I think it's because of internet porn. Why do you think the oldest dude you saw in there was, oh my god, like 80? Wow, old I. I remember one in particular, like he was just he like to like, lick my heels. Uh huh.. The heels of my shoes. Uh huh.. And he he would jerk off. Yeah. While he was licking the heat for your shoes, yeah, it's weird. And then you look around and think, who amongst us? Oh. Ah, I'm looking at you. I'm telling you right now there's someone in here into it. Oh, really? One in here, I bet, gets f**ked in their a*s with a strap on. I bet I would. I would bet money on it. You'd be surprised and like once I heard pleasantly, but I would be surprised. And once I've put that out there that I've done it before. You'd be shocked at how many people have come up to me, like, Hey, have you really done that? Like, Would you do it to me and guys you would never think are into that? Hmm. Mm hmm. So, so the guy 80 years old licking licking. Well, God bless him, though. You know he's out there still living his life, you know? I mean, I don't know doing his thing, but he knows what color his parachute is, right? I don't know. You know, if we could all say that at age 80, we had the strength to go up to the dungeon and lick some heels while we beat off. We should be so lucky. We should all be so lucky. It sounds really exhausting, actually. I hope stadium like chilling on a sofa. Now look in your heels. Does that mean he's down on the floor? Yeah, he was like on the floor sitting like this, and I'm sort of obsessed with this floor thing. But in this frank atrium, as I know it, laying on the floor just doesn't seem like an option now to me. Yeah, but they had boners, so they weren't like thinking like that. You know what I mean, like, you know, like even I feel this way about myself is like even when I'm on a porn site, like, I'll be like, I don't do this, I don't do that. I don't want to put my barefoot in the grass like blah blah blah. But once I'm f**king like, I'm like, f**king come off the floor. Yeah, like the floor. Same floor that I didn't want to put my bare foot on a second ago. Yeah. You know, so I think once you're like in a boner state of mind, I think love that bill so well, you're just not thinking about like the germ factor. Yeah, no. I know. I know. I know there's a little switch. Yeah, so they're they're all in boner mode. I just think, you know, sexually to me, it's kind of my monkey brains thing, which is like, some people eat monkey brains, I like monkey brains. And then for those of you of us who don't. It sounds bizarre. And it's also one of these things where someone goes, You gotta try, you know, I got I don't have to try it. I'm not interested. They have f**king they have pulled pork sandwiches, do they? Not that good enough for me? I'll be fine as long as I have pizza and and hot dogs chicago-style, I'll be good for the rest of my life. I'm never going to try that and they got just know. I know and I feel like I know. And so then when you think the way you think you think, well, everyone else thinks the way you think too, it could be there could be. Nobody else is out there, but you're saying there's a fair amount of dudes. Possibly under this roof. Definitely impossible under this roof, for sure. Mm-Hmm. There's at least one rally that at least wants to try. Oh, well, who do you think it is? I want to check the off that list because that is hazardous duty. You're going to pull up behind him with a strap on and you do it at your own. It's not that that's on you. I mean, like, no, no, I'm literally on you. Yeah, it would be more gay to want to f**k a dude in his a*s than every morning in your ass, because you right? Hold on. Like, okay. I think we found some common ground here. You're saying it would be more gay if I was f**king a dude in the a*s? Yeah, OK. I, you know. Do you really agree with that, though? It'd be more gay if I was f**king a dude. And he asked, Yeah, it's hard to get gayer than f**king idiot in the a*s. I mean, some someone like you in the a*s? Well, but this is a strap with a strap on, you know? Yeah, yeah. Now, man, strap on gayer than anything with a girl. The gayest thing of all is sucking a dude's dick. That's the gayest of the gayest of gay. You're seeing that even for women. Yeah, the peak of Mount Gay of the summit of Mount Gay is sucking c**k. What? Doing it while being penetrated at the same time? Oh, you want wedding hair? You want to put f**kin sprinkles on my fro. Yo, that's your business. I'm just talking plain, but like, OK, I can't. I can't. If a man puts his penis in your a*****e, if you want that, I can understand it coming from like the point of view of like, you have a prostate, it feels good. You're going to come. But if you're out, yeah, but if you're my son, I got a boy, f**king let him know that you know the way the wind's blowing around here by a child's voice. Right now, we're all like, Yeah, OK, right? But if you're sucking a guy's dick that doesn't feel good to you, you're only doing. The only reason that pleases you is because you like sucking c**k. Mm hmm. Like, it's not like you have a prostate in your mouth. More, I know in the back of your so you're saying, but if you have your penis in a guy's ass, presumably that feels good. Yeah. So that's not as gay. Mm hmm. Because it's scientifically I mean, if you close your eyes, it could be a girl's logic. Yeah. Well, listen, you close your eyes. You could be f**king Christie Brinkley. I mean, like, there's a lot of closing your eyes. That doesn't that doesn't work. Yeah, yeah. I sing about Billy Joel. I can't up thinking about Billy Joel. And so now have you do you do a**l in your movies, right? Yeah. And stupid question. Have you ever dealt with a guy? We're like, That's too much for me. Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I feel like in terms of being sent home from work, anal, take it or leave it. That would be the greatest sent home from work day ever. Like what's up? Too much hog. This f**kin too much hog between my legs. What happened? Well, it's doing. And an a**l scene all planned out. Oh, yeah, you're talking about the last night. Have you run lines? I ran lines. OK? There's only two lines blocked. We blocked it out, right? Hit my marks. Yeah. Which was her a*****e. So you did everything right now. What's that? What could the problem be? You remembered. You remember that one too much girth in the c**k department. Oh, I just put my c**k on that pallet jack. I used to move it around and just wheeled it back to the special van I have with the left to get me my comedy. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's rough. Well, I should specify. That's never happened. Oh, it's never happened. No, I guess I was lying just now because I've definitely seen a dick and been like, That's too much. And then I went through with it and it worked out like, I'll try. And that's the warrior spirit, right? It's the Asian, and that's the Asian warrior spirit. That's why we need to drop the case. Not we call it divine. When? Today's episode is brought to you by LifeLock Identity theft may sound complicated, but in some cases our thief needs to carry out of shopping is your name, your mailing address, email address and phone number with your details. They start an online store account, but add their own shipping info and then they purchase items on the account without your knowledge, leaving you only with collections notices. 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And as I say, Kyra, back in 2014 and improv with Adam and Brian as well. I want to leave him hanging. Hmm. All right. Let's get going with our next clip. And this is going to be a rich bank song, and we're going to hear from Bong Lu Soo as well. Jo Koy and we're going to stay in 2014 for this one. And we're also 13 57. Rhett Miller. Not in this portion of this episode. We will play it at a later date. And his portion is just Jo Koy, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop Naam Parola July of 2014. It's the premiere of Cook For Me, one of my all time favorite rich bank songs I forgot about. It's amazing. Looks like 10 times with us telling us how we get bunglers. So doing a retread, but maybe funnier version of the floaters bit less pressure. And then the main reason I cut this is a caller. I was calling about a domestic situation, and Adam plays the color and Jokowi plays Catherine, and it gets quite contentious. Check it out. We should hear a little rich bank song. I don't know anything about it other than Dickie Banks. Put another song together for us, so let's give it a listen here right now. OK. This is actually I was listening to it a little bit ago. This is actually a live track, which is a, I think, a first from Richard Banks. But here it is a live laugh track from which banks. All right. Sometimes when I'm on stage at night and I'm off here sweating my ass, all playing my songs. Think about my lady. She's at home. You're sitting there, man eating sushi, watching in Beverly Hills wiser. And what I wish. While I'm up here, she she was at home, running, running in place. You know, maybe give me 10 pusher. That's fair. Maybe she will maybe cook up a pot roast. Two. Three. Oh. My stomach's empty. I'm getting. When I get home, but for me. Clive Cook for me. But let me guess you cook for me. Baby, how about missile? Your town, your. Limpopo manager. Stock the stock. Scrutiny over lots of bumps with higher corporate. Oh, the great piggy banks. Yeah, it's it's a little running joke with me and Bruce and Phoenix and Nils Lofgren, but I know Joe when you were married. Yeah, the I, as I've said, not one cooked meal. For me, everything is, is, is, is, is relative. I went to one of the hardest times I ever had was. Jimmy Kimmel had. Bid on some sort of charity, some sort of charity event for one of those beachfront Mexico, there's where Jennifer Aniston hangs out with Courteney Cox on, you know, one of those places where you know, it's got servants, it's got, yes, you know, it's weird. It's like rich man, poor man. No doors on the place you're at, like, you know, you are just totally expansive. And for some reason, there's like iguanas walking around in the living room, but you're not bothered by them. But if it's at your house, you'd be screaming and chasing them with a broom. But it's just what it is. And then there's like fresh fruit everywhere, and there's a guy who's making you drinks all the time and you just sort of get up when you get up and ask whoever you know, make it, make your breakfast and they got like screening rooms and it's like, you know, it's the greatest thing ever. It's one of those resort places. They're on the beach. And everyone was staying like from Thursday to Sunday, but I had to cut out Saturday because I had to go to Addison, Texas, and do two shows. And I was, you got to go. I got to go. I was f**king, Yeah, thank you. I was devastated. Yeah. And I going to Addison, Texas, and doing two shows is never a good time. But going from where Jennifer Aniston hangs out in Mexico to add Austin, Texas, to do two shows in the state. The red roof and across the street was f**king devastating, and the fact that everyone was like, I did that thing where I was packing my bag and I was going out and everyone sort of looked up like someone's getting a massage outside and someone else's drink, drink a daiquiri by the infinity pool and went like, Oh, you're going now? Yes. Where? Where Addison? Where is that? Why? Why? And Evoque? It was like the s**ttiest ride to an airport ever, and it was to fly back to L.A. to then go to Burbank Blowjobs at five. Oh yeah. Even Adam bottomless blowjobs, bottomless blowjobs over at the buffet blowjob table. I you go in. I got to get on. I'm going to Addison. Oh, she's on your own blowjob. Oh no, it's fluffer Friday. Oh, we just have random girls fluffing going to Addison, Texas. Are you sure? Addison Oh, so when I call my wife in between the two shows in Phoenix and I talk to my boy and I get the she's getting a massage. I feel I feel a rusty blade just going through my gullet. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Now somehow there's another show to do. We all get it. There's some business before that. Yes. Nothing has changed. But somehow it ratcheted it up. The misery index got ratcheted up because someone is eating sushi or getting a massage, and I'm doing this and that. I don't know if you felt that way when you were married. Yes, all the time. Right? Because it's a reminder that we're not all in this together. So, no, I can't I can't quite put my finger on it. But I'm it's the same reason why every single guy who goes to every single bachelor party comes back and when their wife goes, How was it? Frank f**king put it in the taxi. OK. The room was like I had to sleep on a Murphy, like a pullout bed, and I'd sleep with Frank. And he still smelled like and then he threw up again, a f**king disaster. I feel like I know where you're going with this, and I feel better just hearing right because everyone want f**kin I got my c**k ground on all night like it was awesome. Like, you don't do that. Sounds like, yeah, you play it down. You play it down. Yeah, you play it down for a reason because it's always every business trip. All all that. You always, always play it down. And for some reason, until she finds glitter on your face. Right? Even then, right? Oh, Frank. Right? Frank had glitter lotion. Or he grabbed his wife's lotion for the trip. And yeah, f**kin frank idiot. Yeah, yeah. I know his aftershave smells like juice, but they got it. I mean, they can get anything on the internet these days. I should tell the switch be attacked by bees next time. Bad Jews, I don't name the stuff. I just buy it on the internet. I guess Frank does, but that that that song we just heard was just sort of an homage to to that. And I've always just joked around, but a quietly serious that when you were married and you were doing two shows and you were heading for Addison, Texas, St. Charles, St. Charles, Illinois was the most depressing. You wanted your wife home running in place or doing push ups. Yeah, right? Yeah. Cleaning behind something that you never would have thought to clean behind. Yes. And missing you, right? Yes, that's right. By vacuuming. Yes. Right? Showing her love for you if I clean the fridge. No. But honestly. Calling, calling and going, Oh hey, no, I'm not at home. I'm out eating sushi versus I'm cleaning the fridge. That is totally different. Totally, totally different vibe, right? And then you make suggestions. That's right. Like, can you bring the dry cleaning into it? Maybe finish the laundry? Well, then you're at least you're like, Oh, I'm not missing out on anything at home, right? If I was at home right now, I'd be watching you clean a refrigerator. Yeah, right? But now instead, I wish I was eating sushi with you that I think that's yeah, that's that's right. It does. All right. St. Charles is where I wanted to kill myself. Why play that room? It's in the middle of the worst song ever. Yeah, I wanted to kill any part of it. Thanks. Yeah, I had to pretend to fall asleep. Mm hmm. Like, just force myself to fall asleep and then wake up an hour later. Go fly eight more hours till showtime. I just want to die, man. Well, sounds lovely. Get me out of here. It was a barn, literally a barn where I performed. There's the top part of the barn and then the hotel is behind. It was the last gig at Atlanta. Sort of a barn, isn't it? Yes. The Atlanta funny bone with his punch line punch line. Yeah, this one. That's basically a barn, right? Yeah, it's a barn. Yeah, that's yeah. That that that for me, that's that's where I start to kind of come undone. I'll tell you, oh, because that was the one where. Jim Breuer and I had this horrible feud, I've I've said before, I wasn't really feud, it's just I made fun of him. I was very fun at dagger through Jim Breuer and Jim Burrows just went on a rampage and he was explaining he was going to kill me and this that and the other. And I got to the club in Atlanta and I was just doing one night and I said, like, I was doing a Thursday night. I said, who's coming in over the weekend? And the club owner said, Jim Brewer is playing this weekend, and I went, Who? What hotels? He stayed, and so he's staying here a hotel. I said, Oh, ships in the night because I'm playing Thursday and he's playing Friday, and he's like, Now he's coming in day early for press. He's coming tonight. So I do my whole f**king act, which Jim Brewer somewhere in the audience. Although I didn't know where he was, I just knew he was waiting for me. And then when I was done, we'd get to confront each other after the act. Like I was like, You know that? Imagine that feeling. Yeah, yeah. And and in a barn or whatever that place? Yeah, I mean, it's a barn, right? At that point, it's a saloon. Yeah, it's an about to go down. Yeah, you got a cowboy boots at this point. Yeah. Yeah, there's only enough room for one semi funny sheriff in this town. Or did you just do a super duper long show that night? Yeah, I filibuster. I did with Dane Cook because I did 19 hour show. So have you ever had any feud with our comic? No, none. No disagreements. I just keep it to myself. No. Yeah, this is just dumb. It just goes, No, I wasn't he? He was. I wasn't trying to start a feud with him, but he was right to be pissed off at me. What did you say? I was as I start to fight back up. He showed up for Loveline one night. Probably a little jet lag, maybe a little stone and maybe a little tired and did not impress me is particularly funny. He just kind of hung out for one night. It happens. Yeah. Late night show it can happen. Yeah, he had an off night. Then, like five years later, Dag was on my radio show and I was looking down the list of comics for Comedy Central's top 100 stand up comedians, and Dag was 97. But Jim Breuer was 89, and I started making fun a tag that Jim Brewer was funnier than he is, and Jim Brewer was not funny. And that was the problem. That's the problem that Jim Brewer had. See, I was beating Dag with a Jim Brewer stick. Yeah, but Jim didn't. He took more. Jim took much more offense to it than Dag did. And sort of right. So you're saying, Hey, dag, you're funny. Jim Brewer, you're not. No, I was kind of saying, you're not as funny as Jim Brewer and Jim Brewer is not funny. So were both that stand corrected. I was making fun of both of them. Yeah. But Jim Brewer didn't take that in the spirit in which it was intended, which was quite funny. Yeah, it's a complete insult, but I was still trying to make fun of Dag. Yeah. With Jim Brewer with Jim Brewer. Yeah. You know, I can't do it. I understood that. Yeah. You know, how are you and Jim now? I think we're good. Yeah. Yeah, he's on tomorrow's show. Yeah. Well, I'm good with him. And by the way, I've since heard him be very funny on stern on multiple occasions. So, you know, we got over it. It was just the Jim had an off night because Jim's very funny. He is, and he did. That's that's what happened. But I had nothing else to compare it to. You just came on my show. Wasn't that funny one night? So I had to all I had. And my Jim Brewer file? And that was it. Yeah. So and he's a nice guy and he's a funny guy. And we've we we we we went patched it up in that upstairs we aired upstairs. Yeah, yeah. Part in the barn. Yeah. And we're like, the light is, yeah, the spotlight. It's a creepy place. Yeah, right. But their claim to fame is this is where Eddie Murphy practices set for delirious. Oh, really, that's what they say. I didn't even see you have a photo. Well, I would. I would. How it bungalow sue pronounced delirious areas dare dare derriere. They're rare terrorist. Very funny. Eddie Murphy is Eddie Murphy. Very funny? Yeah, it's okay. We're set cool outfit red. They have three different color red. Yeah. Three. They're entirely Cherry Cherry Corvette Cover Corvette, Corvette Red Corvette Red Corvette Red and a red blood. Brad Bird, Brad, Brad, Brad Red like a game red red. Like the Gang Bride, The Bride and the Broads, Brad the Crips and the Bloods. Blah blah, right? OK, so I've had Red Corvette and a cherry and a cherry cherry favorite, cherry red and a black. I mean, just blood, right, Brad, right? Yes. Absolutely. And he's wearing it. It's leather, right? Oh, rather, yes. Hmm. Three different shades of yellow or whether is really different shades of weather, whether a father, father or their father, like a cow cow, like a cow skin swayed that. OK, their brother. Yeah. Yeah. OK. OK. So really, the show he wore the he wore that you are the type different and the one he wore three different shade of different shade. Now they're very cherry and then got a Corvette Corvette, Chevrolet Corvette Chevre Chevrolet Corvette. Brad, Dana, Brad, Dana, Brad, Brad, Brad. Like a career opposite a crib opposite of a crib. He's a bride. Is Brad Brock. Brad, subscribe you a*****e. Whoa, Brad. I'm reading Brad Simpson of a crib. If you stand, if you stab me, I'm bleeding. I don't care. Oh, OK. Yes, you're bleeding. I got you. But let me ask you this. Didn't he do another one where he wore like a blue purple heart? He had a Purple Heart. A purple way to praise me. What purple way to praise. He praised her praise. Her third row he had a draw was a purple and a praise he wore and Eddie Murphy in Iraq. He had a purple and appraiser. He prayed In you river. What river? I want to understand anything I say. He said that he prays, you know, in a row. He will further erode the color purple like Oprah Winfrey. That's not our purpose. Purple, OK, the color purple. Our I purple purple pray. Three Purple, prays Presley. Plays pray, Paisley, like exactly like you like you would say, the country singer Brad Paisley is right. Brad prays right. Praying like crazy, right? Right. So he. And this is in rock roll. OK. Delirious about three shades. A racial terror and in three shades of red. Yeah. In raw. Yes. Line Purple Purple. Like an Oprah Winfrey right and a ripple of praise. Re praise re right. A douche bag. Hey, Subway, book right in a weird cowboy. I have. Yeah, yeah, I didn't wear the lineman boots. That's right. They're tight. Not the outfit I'd want to do, you know, comedy and I feel like you get a lot of ball sweat going. You know, you work up a lather up there on that stage. No underwear. When you wear that, you can't. You can't, you can't. And if you do, you got on skin. That's your new skin. Yeah, you just put the leather on. Are you surprised that I was that bungalow new? Not only the movie The Color Purple, which at this point is almost 30 years old, but that Oprah Winfrey co-starred in it a minor supporting role. He likes big black women. You know, I love on that. Yeah, I didn't know people's love when, well, you know, when he was trying out for the floaters that was part of this whole thing. You're ready with that. I want to. I want to hear a little of that for a second. All right. Bungalow. Yeah. Adam Cabrera, Carol. Yeah. Yeah. Now here we go. Yeah, there's well, you know. Yeah, no. Hold on a second among those who know, let's just let's just listen to the floaters. I want to hear a couple of the guys from the floater cell to the point. Sorry about that. Yeah. Well, we'll find that for. And my name is Rafi. Now, like a woman. Does have freedom. I like a woman can hold her own and. And my name is Charles. No, I like a woman. A woman carries a. Miss Universe, please. Hi, my name is Paul. I don't think all women of the world. Cancer and my name is Larry. And I like a woman. And loves everything. And everybody knew that was nice. Yeah. So where we're looking to get a little Asian in you and yeah, the crew and the float group really need that. Yeah. And we're just, you know, free freestyle at a little bit. You know, I'll try. I have nothing written down. So it's just kind of, you know, start off with who you are. Give your sign your zodiac sign, obviously. And then his about the ladies and you know, the kind of ladies you'd like. Let's just try all kinds. High bang, Lucerne rose stand on a Chinese counter. Yeah, sorry. Do you have a zodiac sign? That's one of our months that wow, that is the Chinese calendar, right? The rooster, which is the most popular wild ride for a man, really? The cop? Understood. Understood why we're doing it. We're doing that. We're playing a lot of amusement parks. Yes. Yes. Like a Disney record where Disney ran Disneyland. Right, right. And so for that audience, hearing the rooster in the park, in the Chinese calendar, you know what I mean? You can just pick Sagittarius. I don't know that I've tried it before. No, we don't have a Sagittarius Sagittarius. I just pick something from. There's 12 to choose from. All right. You know what I mean? Let's go. All right. How? Oh. Hey. My name, Pangalos, so you can call me by. If all my wish you still have a brac grade, very brac, so brac, you can't see it when she sleep, she wake up, I go, There you are. You like Ninja. If she turned her hand over, I go there your hand. And she put a hand back down, I don't see no more. Sure, yeah. Big black women like Oprah Winfrey call her for her and give her some of the cotton, a.k.a. the rooster zodiac sign from China. Yeah, OK. Ha ha. You ever get no love from behind? So fans love how quick disappear like Ninja? You don't even see me coming. I just disappear up in the roof. All you see is a cloud of smoke on your body. Watch. Sound effect. f**k you so fast. Like a Jackie Chan, a bungalow, but one big battle nunchucks. Yeah, hold on. I come like this. Oh, like a Bruce three. Yeah, bong. We're looking for a certain Rooster Cogburn rooster, though we're looking for a certain vibe, a certain attitude that my penis got from two inches to a fully erect three inches. We're looking, can you take that break, ladies? Humblebrag high, but very girly. What? We're looking for a little more of a mood than actually telling. Oh, so sorry for what you're going to do to. You know what? I'm sorry. I take a very romantic tone on that one, right? Let's try again. Taking the black women from behind is not exactly what the Disney audience is going to be looking for, you know, then we go to Knott's Berry Farm, we go to silicon corners, OK, you know, we go round where rego, Ronald Reagan Museum, the Reagan Museum, Reagan. No, Origo ran Craig over San Diego. Reagan ran Lego. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. All right. So young audience. Very young. All right. So here we go a PG 13 and you're painting rock. Hey, can they call me Mr. Thune, a.k.a. Bong Lou? Can I bang Lou all over you? Maybe your chest to wrap Grady's leeway? Yeah. Maybe he should focus on all the lady nuts that threaten the Black Lady Blue Lab rat Grady. I really like you my confidence. No black ratings, right in America, lots of black radio. Sure. Actually, at Magic Mountain? Well, to blacks at the Magic Mountain for one day. Well, no, they don't have that for black ladies. I think they just have to two for one guy. Do you like kung fu movie? Yeah, sure. I think every lady like a powerful movie. Well, I make love to you very fast and we just very, very quick in and out, then go right to work. You never see me ever again. Leave a bowl of rice right by the window. Crime writing Take advantage of you at I kind of again. Right? Yeah. All right. Oh. The Rooster Night, but we got all the car. We have all your information here. You did a better job on sexuality, but it was a lot more threatening. Yeah. So Simon didn't win. We got all your hair frappe in the bag like me. No. And a flip flop in bed. Well, I don't see the sense in that. Just in case I sleep with Sy, I have a flip flap. Oh, sleep sweep is right. Slip and slide creep in stride. Yes. Yeah. He put this. Put a flap on him out the door. Yeah. Make love in shower. Oh, with the flip flop flap. Uh-Huh. Yeah. Oh, I will say that a lot of foresight. Yeah. Bunglers. So when it comes to lovemaking, wash your body with a golden shower. I'm so good now. So good now. So good. Oh bang. All right, DraftKings, baby. Smooth transition. Are you a necklace? My pearl necklace? Understood. Love your corona. Love you ! Bye ! All right. Rhett Miller's out there from old 97's. We will bring him in in just one second real quick phone errors just because they've been waiting. Matt, 29, Oregon. Hey, what's up? How are you? I'm pretty good. All right. I've got a bit of a dilemma. You know, give me some advice. Sure. And basically live in a two bedroom apartment with my wife. And looks like the mother in law is going to be forced to move in here imminently. And I was just wondering if maybe you had some. I'm sure you could come up with some ideas for how to handle the situation. You know, your wife have a kid. Why? What's going on here? We don't have a kid with no kids. The mother in law does have two large dogs. But now let me tell you something about the people, the adults who have to move in. It's sort of like the people you have to lend money to. You'll never get paid back because if you just spun a wheel and you put all your friends names on it, it might land on Jimmy Kimmel or Jo Koy, in which case I'd get my f**king money back. But unfortunately, the only group that wants to borrow money are the people that don't have money. So your chances of getting paid back is decreased significantly because the only people that need it are the people that don't have it and won't get it, the people that need to live with you. It's not just a random spinning of the adult. I don't have a house. Well, and it could be, Oh wow, you got Mark Cuban. It's going to shake up with you. Like, this is awesome. You only get losers. Yeah, you get losers who are either have such incredibly annoying habits that their husbands or wives or whoever just f**king kicked them to the curb and couldn't take them anymore. Or they're just so f**king destitute that at age 61, they could not f**kin get it together to get a cleaning deposit for a f**king one-Bedroom apartment. So whoever you're getting, I mean, I got my friend Chris. We live in a one bedroom apartment in North Hollywood. His dad moved in with us for a little bit because he had to kill 30 days before he went to jail. He literally had appointment for jail. f**king party time to stay on our show for 30 days before he went to jail. See Mark Cuban when I've done that. No, I'm just saying it's it's a Catch 22. It's not just anyone. You're going to get in that spare bedroom. It is a person you don't want. And it's someone's whose life definitely didn't work out. I think man and people that move that asked to move into someone's place if you have a dog or two or two, you should never ask anybody if you can move in. Now, you're going to tell me your body is riddled with cancer, and I feel horrible. But what is her reason for moving in with her daughter? Well, she is about to run out of unemployment. You know, she's been on it for six months. We've already been financially supporting her sort of here and there with, you know, gas for her car or unforeseen expenses. Mm-Hmm. Kind of what did she what did she do? What does she do? What could she do? Well, she sort of had a career in senior, you know, like essentially like retirement home kind of assisted living. She drove a van. I look, I'll tell you what I'm going to do about three years for my kids. I'm just going to I'm going to walk around with those chairs that are you can turn into walking sticks, but then fold them out. Like for the people who watch golf followed around you, I could flap it open. And I'm just going to walk around and we're going to start at the Home Depot in Burbank, and I'm going to find some guy who's over 65 and wearing an orange vest. And I was going to flop the chair stick opening and say, Sit down Sunday to Sir Tell Story, just tell just what happened, what went wrong and just just whatever you did. Just listen and we'll know not to do that. And then we'll move on. And how the f**k these people get to 63 or 59 and be like, Well, I have a checking account, but it's not. I mean, it's it's I guess you could call it active, like it's like you're f**king sixty one deposit checks his card right there. What's going on? Yeah, what I needed. I'm sorry. I can't take cash out because I only have one for my I.D. It's such bulls**t at my bank. I'm fifty nine. I just need some gas money. Like what? Yeah, what? What happen? Like, how does this work? What's going on? It's it's sad and it's sad. But it could be cured with more judging. That's my point. I want to know what's up. Why, why every time they're broke as s**t, they always have animals, too. Yeah, you can't take care of yourself. Why did you take on the responsibility of two large and I have 14 kids and six llamas, but no job. I need corn for my love. Mark Cuban has one and a half kids and no llamas. You understand me. The kid along ratio needs to be a check, right? Yes. Go ahead, Matt. I just I mean, I don't know, like it's just it's going to be a disaster if she was your last three or four job like it's been and now she can't get more work because every reference she has basically fired her. Why was she fired? Why did she tell you? Is there the reason it's just she's just one of those people who seems like from our descriptions of a perpetual victim like somebody else comes from, you know, only 30, her boss, my boss was a dick or so crowded out, of course. Yeah, I love when your boss has it out for you because that's their whole plan. Hire, you get a s**tload of money training you and then fire you. That's how you get weight. You get this guy. So you make a ton of money to a company. You train people and then fire them. All right, Matt. Don't let her move in. It's going to be a disaster. Could be horrible. You think getting her let her move in is a disaster? Wait till she has to move out. You get the authorities right? Yeah. All right. Don't do it. I'm telling you. All right. I'll barricade the door. Now, listen, you. Good luck with your marriage when you don't. I'm telling you I would pitch it to my wife is I'm doing this for us. Like, we're going to argue about this. It's going to cause a lot. It's my mom. It's my mom. You just want me to put her out. I grew up with those dogs, Sheryl and it now. What's her name? Matt Catherine? Hold on. With a C or with a K, K with a K with a C on a c c OK. Catherine, what? Catherine with a f**king see. Listen, Catherine, listen to me what he spelled with a C. Yeah. Then stop saying it. Like with a K. I'm sorry, Catherine. I get angry. I put an extra emphasis on yes or no, and I don't like it when I make it sound like a consonant instead of a vowel. So listen, here's my month with this day. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, hey, they're both consonants. s**t. You really think about a C shouldn't be so early. You're right. Definitely. Get me out of there, too. Well, hey, come on. All right. Anyway, look. Stop it with the look at what she's supposed to go. Listen, Cartwright, she spoke. She's just going to be homeless. That's me. Mother, she's not going to be homeless. Her boss had it out for her. Now, her boss did not have a name for her bosses, and she said that about our last six bosses. Yeah, and they all tried to f**k her because she has issues with mail. You know, it's because they're trying to f**k my mom. She's doing what she's doing is she's projecting this. That's bulls**t projects that onto her bosses. She comes here, she's going to start. We're going to we're already arguing and she removed. What I'm trying to say is, where's my mom supposed to go? She's not going to put my mom on the f**king street. What we're going to do? Why don't you move? OK, now listen. Why don't you move? Let's see how easy it is to be homeless. Listen to me, Catherine. Talk, I f**king talk. I'm going to pay for half her rent. We are going to pay for half her. I'm not paying for. She is going to pay for the other half of her house. She's telling me a one bedroom apartment that is near enough to us that we could walk, but far enough away where she won't hear like my mother. You know, like my mother, I don't like what she brings out in you. She stay here with the dogs. Those are my childhood dogs. Those are Rhodesian Ridgeback, and they're not even medium sized ones. They're large by Rhodesian Ridgeback standards, which are run in our state here. What are their names? Theodore and Richman. The other, I thought, You're going to go on a chipmunk route? No. All right. An average Rhodesian ridge backs our £111 yeah. These things tip the scale. At 1:30, my mom feeds them rib eyes. The point is is she can't afford rib eye. Well, if she can afford it. I appreciate the fact is supposed Go Gomer, it's my mother. I'm not going up there on the street. If it wasn't for my mother, you wouldn't help me. You ain't got me. Listen, Catherine, you want to do that math earth and cool. Then none of us would be here. I mean, with your party. How about when your mom needed a place to stay when she came here to visit us for one day? My mother here. My mom has claimed my commuter train in 1999. You are. Don't you ever bring her name up? But she doesn't. Oh my god. Oh my God, she was an angel. Your mother's affiliate w***e. Stick to the script, huh? She was an angel. My God. And that's right, I'm going to put an emphasis on the K now when I say, Kathryn, you take that back. You bugging me. You take it back. f**k your mother, my mother's. Have it right now. I hate you, I hate. It's man, it's dinner, dear. Who are the Rhodesian Ridge Ranch? If we're going to feed a rib eye? All right. This has been a wonderful re-enact. Oh, good. I like the alliteration with the ribeye, the rich man and a Rhodesian ridgeback, and it was a lighter side. All right, Matt. Answer your question. Don't let her move in, right? All right. Jason wants to know if I'd ever consider making a movie like the Wonder Years, like a theatrical format. No, I have not. And one last one and then I think it's where you would sort of, you know, modern day Adam voice-over child Adam going through the things you want to know. It's crazy. Wonder years, Danica McKellar, Michaela McKellar would like that. Mm-Hmm. It's really cool. She's like, really smart in the math. Yeah. Mm hmm. Emily, I got to meet her. She came to my show. I was like, I was pretty fascinated. I was like, Oh my God, I know she's like, She's like, Bogart had all the mass smarts for the chicks. Yeah, my wow. That's going to be r****ded because she took all the magic of him. She was f**king squirreled all the math away. There's one woman who knows everything. About 40 percent of it, all of it. My daughter's going to be trying to figure out the tip on a $10 bill. And Danica has got it. She's just making rocket fuel in her basement. Yeah, she's she's all into brains. Today's episode is brought to you by Geico, because GEICO asks, how would you love a chance to save some money on insurance? And we all know the answer. Of course you would. After all, who doesn't love a great deal, right? And when it comes to great rates on insurance for all the things in your life, GEICO can help, like with insurance for your car. Truck, motorcycle, boat and RV even help with a homeowner's condo renters coverage. You could save even more with a special discount when you bundle your coverages. Plus, add the easy to use GEICO mobile app available, 24 hour roadside assistance and more in choosing to switch to Geico becomes an easy choice. In fact, how easy is it go? Well, Chris, it's GEICO easy. It certainly is switched today and see all the ways you could save with great rates and discounts. Simply go to Geico RT.com to get a rate quote or contact your local age and get started seeing how much you could save. That clip from July of 2014 featuring Mr. Jo Koy as he sleeps on his performance. Catherine? Yeah, it's good. I love whenever. I love whenever they do the reenactments. All right. I love character work. Me too. Now, last week, we played a few of the drop origins. We played Gary's young money, cash money drop origin, as well as Matthew Boum Origin, while Sonny Khairallah has a great drop that's been played for years. And it was when he went. I woke up in Phoenix this morning and he was busting his dad's balls when he was in studio back in 2016, so let's listen to that. I'm show 1883 Todd Lamb on this portion, sunny in studio from the top of the show. It's sunny, Gina and Brian Bishop. Sunny is recounting some stuff they did, and Adam goes over a trip to Disneyland with Talia and the guide and how animals are supposed to know the guide was there. They go over the classic. I woke up at Phoenix this morning. It's all on all really fun. Little trunk was sunny. The women play it a long time. I don't think I've actually even played this one classics and it's it's so funny how young he sounds, and it seems like it was just a couple of years ago. But, you know, six years ago, it's really good. Classic clip Adam Cole Show 1883. Good day, Sunny Carolla. Yeah. All right. And bold, Brian, it's just a waste of my time. Oh, that's the moneymaker right there. Sunny is here today because I filled in for Dan Patrick. Dan Patrick is. Does it? He does. It sort of simulcast as a radio show and a TV show, and they do it all at the same time. And they he's in Rio. How to go. I think it went pretty good masking Sonny. Oh, sunny. Yeah, Sunny had a good. We got there. We got there at like five a.m., which was three fun. No traffic, no, no traffic. Now sunny. So this great conversation, which is, I, you know, I have hypervigilance and the last thing I have in my life in terms of like mountains to conquer is waking up absurdly early. I don't really care about race cars or volcanoes or any other. I have no fear really of anything, but I have a dread of the super early wake up call. Most people do. I get it. But it's like at a certain point build a master that I've done it so many times that it's just like, just get over it. It's going to be a day. It is what it is and you move on. You know, there's there's I think if you're wired that way is just you're you're miserable when it happens. Well, and most people, I think, are wise. I have an insane why I have an insane wiring, which is I set my alarm for four 20. Yeah, and I I did. I'm on sort of podcast Standard Time, which is like, I got to bed at 12, 12, 31 ish like and wake up at 8:30 ish or nine ish like just sort of whenever ish and I was now waking up at four 20 and I did not need my alarm. I woke up at four. I looked at the clock once or twice, woke up a four or five four. I like I will. I'm so insane that if my normal wake up time is 9:00 and my alarm set for four 20, I will wake up at four 14 and just get out of bed just on my own. There won't be, you know, any any rustling or anything. It's just time to get up. I know it before I go to bed. I dread it, but I know it and I just go to bed. And then there's a second component which is attempting to get into bed by like 10:30. Because you're getting up at four 20, you're going to get it's that thing where it's like, I got a c**ktail in my hand. I'm watching the Olympics. It's it's well, I'm like, Yeah, you got to knock yourself down a little at that point, but it's like, I'm just sitting there watching the Olympics, and it's you know that 10 14 10:17 You just tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and you're getting to this Mason-Dixon line of under six hours. You're never going to get six because you're not going to pass out when you hit the bed. But you have this sort of psychological thing where, look, if the clock is set for four 20, if I can get in by 10 20, I'll be OK. Now, exactly six hours now, it's like ten, twenty six. I'm still enjoying watching Phelps swimming in a pool and five hours and 45 minutes is good. Yeah, I go. And. Let me say this, there is a big difference between making a flight where you're just going to pass out again because you're just going to Boston and hosting a three hour program. That's not yours, that's not yours. Thank you with ins and outs and who are the darn ads and what's everyone's name? Someone said, Show up and do your show at five. All right. Well, I guess I can do up do someone else's show that has the beards and the has to hit this at that? Yes. And Al Guido, the president of the 49ers, is calling in Eddie DeBartolo Al Guido. Oh, I didn't. I knew President. OK? That's why I don't know his name. The brand is newly minted. He's making fun of people's heritage. You know, Tony Guido's calling in. He's calling in. He invited us to come out the Monday Night Football opening night, Sunday night, whatever. Whatever it is with the Rams, he's calling but the first Niners. There's six different names. You know, people calling in. You got part out and breaks and throw it to this and go to that. And you know, Dan Patrick's got a call in from Rio, right? Whatever. And you're just sitting there. This, by the way, this part of your brain that you need for these three hours to do this sort of traffic copying joke, telling, interviewing hard out, it's end up right in the pool. Phelps, it really. It's the first part that goes when you get into the sleep deprivation. But the one thing Gina grad hair glow, the one thing you do. You do get repetition. And at that point, I think you become like a drunken pilot. OK. It's just still better flying the plane than the sober guy who hasn't thrown for 10000 hours is still better. Yeah. But have you still better to be Denzel Washington in flight than just have me fly the plane? And that's sort of how I am, and I think I did a pretty good job. But was it all sports talk? No, that's the beauty of it. The the bad and the good, and the bad news is as if it's a big sports day and there's lots going on. Above all, you have to kind of get on it if it's just, oh, first episode of hard knocks training camp and Phelps wins another medal. There's not wasn't that much going on, so we're able to just sort of float on headlines, hit the headlines and float around from topic to topic. Sunny, how was the set sunny? Because I've like this elaborate set with the basketball hoop. And remember, this is the same show where the guys like play hoops during the break and stuff. No, but it's a nice look and say, OK, I've seen that it looks good. It's only what I told you. Sunny, you had your alarm set for what? 4:30? Yeah, yeah. What happened? It didn't go off. Well, I'm trying to think what that anyway. I woke. I might have. I might have like, like maybe going on because I might have said earlier and then you hit it. I said it till like three 3:30 by accident or something got up and like, hit it or something. It's fun, because maybe did the PM instead of the AM? Either way, super apologetic. She woke up that said Sorry, sorry, sorry that about eight seconds later, someone like of the t shirt on just stumbling toward the front door and I was like, We're not. We are allowed to eat breakfast and put pants on a second. Yeah, but I like I like the trooper. And yeah, but I realize Sunny is a boy and I'll show you a picture actually will win Gary. Because when we're done with, yeah, we drove out. We left after about 10 minutes to five rolled into Patrick's place, but we left at like four forty five. You left for work earlier than I did. Yes, I know and saying. And when we're when we're done, we started driving home back, not home, but here and as I started getting a little bit heavy. And then when by the time we got to another shop, I said, Sonny, you just go find yourself a self and your self, a self and pass out. It's like a chalk outline. It really does. Everybody gets thrown from a building, become like like a gay Iranian just tossed from the top of a building, landed on, landed on the sofa. It's just I've never seen anyone that looked like they passed out while they were jogging and crashed into a sofa. It looks like it's motor boating. The selfie there is. You got all that comments. Pretty funny picture. I had to take the picture saying, but the real comedy? Well, two real pieces of comedy here. One is I made this mistake as the as the clock count down. As the countdown was coming, and again, that thing, we have to wake up early and you're just it's just that tick, tick, tick, tick, tick and again, I do not. I honestly don't mind the meet Mike Argus in the lobby at five 10 because I'm literally just going to pass out. Like, I won't even remember that Uber ride to the airport or whatever the bathroom. But this is like, where's my box lamp with my notes on Phelps and you know, and drive and drive and the whole nine yards? I said, Oh, well, now I've always said the only thing worse than you freezing to death in a snow bank is watching somebody luxuriate in a hot tub. That's like what could make this experience worse. You're freezing in a snow bank. You're looking at somebody drinking hot toddies in a hot tub that now it's worse. So I called, I was like, Oh, it's 10. Oh, five, oh crap. I haven't said good night. And Italian Italian is at Disneyland and she's staying in the hotel. That is because it's, you know, it's 41 miles from a house where you stay overnight. You can go. But you know, it's not like I go out and do a show in Irvine and then turn around. I sleep on stage and I do a show in Irvine, back half way back and try again in the morning. Yeah, I stayed up fair to Madeleine Motel on the way back and then so she's staying there and so she gets on the if I call her before I go to bed. And she says she does the she does he Oh, dad, I said, Did you have a good time? Oh yeah, yeah, get ready with the cash register. By then she goes, Oh, she does the show. She goes, Hey, daddy, we got the same guide we got last time. And then she, like, was like, Oh, sorry, mommy. Oh yeah, I got to play better out closer to the tartan vest. Mom is making the throws, and then she did the one where she said, We just got back to our room. We just had a big meal. We're going to get a movie now. We're all cozy. Maybe we'll get room service. And then I went, Yeah, I'm getting up at four and heading for LAX. And she's like, They're like, Wow, derisive. She did a lot quieter, too. She didn't use the word, but quite a departure from the life I'm leading right now. You just Shuckers back there. We're comically at odds. Yeah. The silver lining is she could have been like, How does this mean? Fine, I guess. Yeah, that's true. She had fun. She's crazy. She had a good time and she had a big laugh. I mean, because when you really think about that, I'm at the hotel and we're going to get some s'mores and then we're going to watch a movie and four a.m. to you is somewhere in the middle of your sleep cycle towards the end. And even even imagine. Well, and for me for her to medal. But so I had that going for me. I got I got that. I wake up at 10:00. Yes, I wake up at 10:00. Check it. You know, like Billie, half of their day it was done is already getting it out of the Philly cheesesteak and tack in a very tactical move had been removed from the house via Linette going back to original owner Rob because realizing Phil would not only sleep on my head all night and wake me up five times, but then when we both left at 4:30 in the morning, where was Phil going to go? And plus I'm here now where I'm not even close to back home yet. So feel be outside or in a cage or chewing his own tail off. So he went to Rob's and then for some reason decided to sleep in the bathtub. I wish he'd do it. I think it was a cooler thing, but the great the Great Ziegfeld, the great moment was Sonny walked into the shop, went to go, went to go, pass out on the sofa, did the pass out that you saw? And then I double back 10 minutes later and saw Phil just raping Sonny. Just like all. I mean, stormed him, dived on him plot of smacking him. I mean, up on his hind feet. He's got he weighs more than you, right, Sonny? Yeah, weighs more than me. But I like. Thirty five, and he's taller than you when he gets on his back. You didn't stand a chance. So into the mic there, sir, but were you just sleeping on the sofa and he just jumped on you? Well, I kind of like I heard him panting. George will come. And so then I was like, Get up because I wasn't in that position before. And then he just like, like, you know, he gets excited. He he knows how he wants it. He's got it. He's he's got huge paws. He weighs 100 pounds, but he has a massive tongue. His tongue is too big for his mouth is a gene Simmons, his mouth. It just keeps going. I was hanging out the side where there was a slap you up with it, you know, just pound on is so poor. Sonny got abruptly manhandled, manhandled by a Philly cheesesteak, so we put him away in the other office. And then Sonny was able to splash out for what, an hour and 20 and yeah, field until I got seven hours into feeling good about yourself now. Like in what way? Well, I mean, feeling rested up, yeah. Now what is it about you, sunny that makes you want to get up and go, do these things with daddy where no one else wants to? I just like the fact I get I get an excuse to wake up at four a.m. and do something. Oh, so it's like, sure for you. An adventure is like going to the Amazon jungle and kind of avoiding a disease from a mosquito. All right, that's an adventure. Well, then what would you call it? Fun, fun, fun. Classic is starvation for attention. Did you have? Did you have fun? Yeah. I have almost dead. OK. But you haven't you had a good time. You like any like going with the added or work or seeing that at work? Yeah. Is it cool to see what what he does for a living study or is it just like whatever? I mean, because this is a pretty cool job. Like what parts of it like rating wise? I'm like, Oh, yeah, yeah, that's almost like he's playing a sport. It's almost like a sport, almost like was like, just like he has a machine doing all the work for him. It's like a real athlete. Yeah, like a real athlete, right? But she's not talking about racing stuff, about going and thing. But I don't know on The Dan Patrick Show, it's kind of funny. It was golf, I like to do stand up, but I've kind of gotten used to it, you know, like South Carolina in Phoenix this morning. Yeah, do an impression is. You remember? Yeah, no. I don't see The Martian and you. So no, I want to go. I went to go see the Martian. We went to go see rows and it fell Rosenthal's house, and it was one of those. There was standing room only. And so you have to go all the way down like a growling old school Shakespeare and lay down on the super shag padded nappy carpet with the big pillows at the very front. You don't sit upright, you lay down on your back and like the stoner's is to watch 2001. Yeah, yeah. And I this is after one of our epic Phoenix runs. We're doing two shows Friday to show Saturday and then just came home and then had a whatever day and then ended up at Phil's and had a couple of glasses of red wine and somewhere in the Martian. Somewhere around our four I just passed out. I was like, I couldn't. I don't do that very often between the red wine and the sleep deprivation. I passed out and then I got an a*s fall from Sonny and company like, Hey old man, where you and I just went. I woke up in Phoenix this morning. That's that's that's what he heard. I like to make a request. Is it possible to squeeze in an hour a week where Sonny and Alex do a show together about you? I'd be fine with that. That'd be pretty damn funny. Mm-Hmm. Oh, I'll be fine. All right. Good. Yeah, hey, before something leaves, can I ask a question to the girl in the room, both Sonny and Adam? Sonny, I'm having a little girl soon and my my wife is going to have our first baby in about a month or so. And I've always thought about this. But now that I actually have people here who grew up in Southern California, I love to momma. I'm of two minds. Speaking of Disneyland. Do we not take our little girl Disneyland very often? Like, make it a special thing, like once maybe she's eight or nine or 10? Or do we do the school thing and take them all the time, all the time being? Once a year, however, often you go once a month. I have been gone since I was like, seven. Okay, and you're how old are you now? Oh, wow. So do you think it's more special than if you go less frequently? Or is it cooler to be able to clean? Personally, myself, I rather go to the Natural History Museum. Disneyland, OK. This was me, too. All right. Best boy in the world. What's your take? It's more special, the more expensive out or take advantage of the fact that you're here and go all the time. I really think maybe like one. Wait, so you like for you often it's like once a year. Let's put this way someone from Texas or New York, there might be a big deal for that once a year. Fine. I wouldn't look at that as often, OK? But if it starts, if anything, it's my, you know, don't drive a turbo. Porsche is your daily driver because it's just your car and people do that. People hit me, you know, they'll go to me, you got money. You like cars and you get some, some really nice, some really terrific and some really whatever, because at a certain point, I'm just getting up and it's four. Forty five and we're going, Daddy, what's your little Jaguar? We're going to the Dan Patrick Show little. And then, you know, it's like I got a coffee between my legs and my back slips and a piece of toast. And it's just then I'm miserable and I'm trying to back out of the driveway and it's like, it's just one of those. It just is your car. So it's food falls over as you take a turn. And, yeah, save a cool car, save it, save it for and enjoy it. Birthday or Christmas. That's that's that's what I'm saying. All right, sunny, what do you got? Three basketball games tonight, too. All right. Have you guys ever beaten the girls team yet? We go against 13 years old girls and we haven't won. But for the regular, because these are just like practice games for the regular season, my team is undefeated. Oh, all right, you're 10 and 13. Yeah, they're they're 12. They develop 12. Yeah. All right. You feel good, Sonny. Which way, as I said, I'll take that earlier. OK, good. Take your shoulder. OK, now would you go back with me to Dan Show, Mr. Dan Show? Mm-Hmm. OK. All right. Kick cans off. Go find your nanny and go home. Good to see you, sunny. Leave Phil. I'll take Phil with me. I'm scared he's going to eat stuff. Not here, but he's at the other shop and it's just a waste of my time. Oh yeah. He does it out. Yeah. All right, sunny. Now we're breaking down the NBA season next year. He thinks the warriors are going to lose three games. Yeah, 79. Three. He's pretty damn, pretty damn confident. And the origin of Sun is I woke up in Phoenix this morning drop, and it's one of my favorites, although this morning Joe, Adam and I woke up in Indianapolis. So yeah, we're we're on the road, still still doing it. All right. Well, that will do it for part one of today's episode of Curl Classic Stick Around Part two coming up next. Today's episode is brought to you by Geico, because GEICO asks, how would you love a chance to save some money on insurance? And we all know the answer. Of course you would. After all, who doesn't love a great deal, right? And when it comes to great rates on insurance for all the things in your life, GEICO can help, like with insurance for your car. Truck, motorcycle, boat and RV even help with a homeowner's condo or renters coverage. You could save even more with a special discount when you bundle your coverages. Plus, add the easy to use GEICO mobile app available, 24 hour roadside assistance and more in choosing to switch to GEICO becomes an easy choice. In fact, how easy is it? Geo Well, Chris, it's GEICO easy. It certainly is. Switch today and see all the ways you could save with great rates and discounts. Simply go to Geico RT.com to get a rate quote or contact your local agent and get started seeing how much you could save.