Transcript
So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Oh, it is not a great day at I've had it podcast because me maw, mister Ham, totally botched the introductory clap. Would you like to do it again or should we just roll with it? Let's just roll. I'm so embarrassed. Alright. Alright. Anyway, let me tell you guys a story that happened with my neighbor. So Josh and I went, he was looking for a new car, and it was a Saturday afternoon. We went to the car dealership. We're there an hour and a half or so. We pulled back up to our house, and there are about 6 children at our front door under the ages of maybe 7. Really? 6 of them. And they're standing at the door with their hands, and we have a glass front door, one of those glass pivot doors. Their hands are all over it. Tubby and ChaCha are going f**king bananas as dogs do Right. When people come to the door. And I'll add that Tubby, in particular, doesn't really like children. And that's his right, and that's his choice as a dog. He doesn't have to like kids. Right. And so all these kids are at the front door, and we're like, what the f**k? So I look over, and my neighbor is standing there screaming, and there's a couple of other, like, mom people with her that are parent and they're like, come back. Come back. And we're I'm just like, are you freaking kidding me? So we pull in the garage, and they get the kids off the yard. And Josh is like, I don't want anything to do with that. I'm like, I don't either. What are they doing letting their kids come ring our doorbell? Like, come on. So we let it go. So then we're standing in the garage and I see a friend of mine walking by on the road. And I am like, hey, how are you doing? She's like fine. And she's pushing her stroller with her kid. She has nothing to do with these other neighbors. So I walked down and I start talking to her. Around the same time, the gang of children infiltrate my yard again and then their mother comes this time and I don't know if she was intoxicated or what the situation was, it's only like 4 pm. She goes, yeah. The kids were like, we wanna go ding dong ditching. We really wanna go ding dong ditching. And I was like, go ding dong ditch the Welch's. They won't care. And I'm like, actually, no. Let's not ding dong ditch the Welch's because the Welch's have one child in college and only another child at home that's in high school. Right. And 2 dogs that are going bananas who are stressed out because they're in, like, protection mode while your kids are getting entertained because you're not taking care of them. Right. And so then she kinda licks at me, and I'm just like, I can't believe you even number 1 had that thought and thought it was a good idea to say, oh, yeah. And number 2 said that out loud, Yeah. We'll just let them go ding dong ditch the Welch's. And she's an she's a nice I mean, I like her. She's she's a nice neighbor. I don't know her super well. The kids are at my front door doing their hands all over the gla*s. The dogs are going crazy, and I go, kids, kids. Because I'm like, if she's not gonna parent her kids, and they're on my property. I said, kids, kids, let's step away from the front door. My dogs are going crazy. Step away from the front door, Step away. And, she's like, okay. Well, we'll see you later. And the kids are like, can we go into your house? And I jokingly, but serious too at the same time, I go, no, you can't. Now y'all scram kids. Scram. Get over there. Go back home. And we walk in the garage and Josh is like, I love so much that number 1, you told her the kids couldn't ding dong ditch. It but you're really polite about it. And number 2, you told the kids to scream, but you were polite about it. Right. And so, but I just, can you believe that? No, that I cannot I would have died of embarrassment if my kids were doing that. I would have been grabbing them by their hair saying go home right now. These people like, these are the people that tell their kids how great and special they are all the time without getting down on their eye level and saying, listen. They don't have small kids anymore. They've already done this. Do not go irritate these people. I love you and you're great to me, but the rest of the world is not gonna think you're as great as I I do. Or how about ding dong ditching is rude. Don't do it. Right. At 7, you can control them. When they're in middle school at a sleepover, you don't have any control. So what are these kids gonna be doing at a middle school sleepover? And what's here's the crazy part about it. When we pulled up before, she didn't know if we were home or not home. Right. She could have been at home taking a nap. And I think she thought, oh, this will be a great little knee slapper. Let's let the kids and I'm just, like, had I been at home, I would have been so f**king pissed. And then I felt so bad for my dogs because then I realized this could have been going on for an hour or 2. Don't know. And then as the kids are walking off, they're saying, I think your dogs are cute and blah blah blah, which there's no question. The dogs are incredibly attractive, but they didn't need their heart rates raised. They were in protection mode. Right. You know? As I mentioned before, Tubby hates kids. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they probably might have been scared even. And then and she's a sweet neighbor girl, you know, but I just thought, seriously, like, this is acceptable to you? Like, do you not? I don't know. I just thought it was weird. And I like her. I don't know. I think it's weird. But I thought I thought it was kinda weird. I'll tell you what else strikes me about that story. 4 o'clock on a Saturday. Yep. Barefoot, full c**ktail dress c**ktail dress. And 6 kids. What the f**k? The all 6 kids are not hers. No. I know. But I'm just saying, like, get a babysitter, put your shoes on, and leave. Why are you parading around the neighborhood with these 6 kids? And also, why are you not saying kids stay in our yard? There's no reason to go ring the neighbor's doorbell doorbell. There's no reason for it. I was just, and I'm sure other people have dealt with, you know, crap like this. I think it was just the entitlement and the expectation that she thought I would think these kids were cute, right, and their behavior was cute, and that she was encouraging brazenly encouraging their sense of entitlement that they get to go ding dong ditch people. And here's what I f**king hate more than anything on the planet, solicitations. Oh, yes. And Awful. Solicitations made by children Are the worst. My doorbell. I mean, like, are are you I just I don't know. I just I could not wrap my head around why anybody thinks this is a good idea. And there were mind you, when we first pulled up, there were 2 other moms standing in the yard. So nobody had any sense. Nobody said, do not go ring their doorbell. They are grown adults. It's rude. It's annoying. Their kids are much bigger. Like, that that collectively, nobody could IQ it up enough to figure that out. Nobody could IQ it up enough to realize what a great idea. Alright. That's my grievance for today. It's probably gonna be great neighborhood stuff going on in my neighborhood after this episode drops, but I don't care. Anyway, Pumps and Kylie, how are you guys today? Good. Welcome to I've Had It. Welcome. I'm Angie. You did it all wrong. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. You didn't say that you did a pregnant pause. That was in a big fight right now. No, because I know I'm Dylan and Roman over to ding dong ditch you. Please. Okay. I could do that, but I tell my kids to avoid the suburbs. It might be too dangerous. Alright. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's Meemaw. We have our gorgeous Kylie. She's with us today. And today, we are gonna read from our favorite patriots. And these are, of course, are the patriots from Patreon who have less left us their petty grievances. And I'm gonna start off with Brian Gunderson. And Brian says, when people call their significant other or best friend or whatever, quote, my person. Jesus Christ, I can't. Okay. I completely agree. I have a friend that's my age, single. She keeps saying, I just wanna find my person. And I have told her 50 times, there's not just one person for you. There's not just 1 in 7,000,000,000 people that's just for you. It's about timing and compatibility. Mhmm. But the person thing, it's overused, and I don't think it exists. Like, 1 per I don't think, like, Josh came out of the womb for you. I don't think you came out of the womb for Josh. I think it's a lot of factors. Well, actually, we did after we chose our mothers. Right. Here's how it goes down. Here here's how it all goes down. I chose my mother Right. To give birth to me Right. So I could find my person, Josh. Uh-huh. And when we go on vacation, we go to our happy place. It's everything you want it to be. It is. That's that's all the stuff that we do. Yeah. It's a fairy tale. Uh-huh. Absolutely. And we also avoid, other people during Mercury in retrograde. Well, I think you you have to. You've got to. Dicey out there. You've got to. Yes. Absolutely. So then Jessica responds to Brian's grievance about the my person and Jessica produces, I am totally an offender of this, but I have had it when other people say it. To be fair, all of my family is dead and we have no contact with my trumper in laws and I lost multiple friends to MAGA bulls**t. So we really are friends and we have nobody else. That is genuinely Jessica's only person. Right. So, I mean, we're gonna get her to pa*s. Yeah. Jessica gets an exception. Okay. Kylie. Alright. I've got one from Lucy. She writes, I've had it with HOAs. God's gift to narcissists. In quotes, board members claim they are elected, but usually they volunteer because no one else wants to or cares. All of a sudden, they are in the president's cabinet, and their moral superiority reaches new heights. The title is absolutely on their resume, and their job responsibilities include doling out petty fines, tattling on other neighbors, and selective enforcement of rules because they are in middle school. Worst of all is the monthly deduction of funds that go to these clowns to spend on fugly furniture and lighting in the common areas. Get a life and go f**k yourself. I love Lucy. Two middle finger emojis. Love Lucy. I'll tell you, Lucy is always. She's got deadpan humor. Right. I love it. Patreon. I love Lucy. HOA's are a terrible idea. Terrible. You get people that peaked in high school Mhmm. That are still looking for that high. Right. Those are the people that traffic in HOAs. They're thirsting for power, and they think the HOA is where they're gonna wield a big stick. And it just invariably is just a bunch of f**king a*****es sitting together without enough to do, picking on other people, and it's none of their f**king business. f**king hate it. Do you have HOA in your suburban neighborhood? Absolutely. I do. Uh-huh. Because we have a gate. Right. So yeah. And it's so funny because I have a neighbor that I'm friends with that was telling me that one of the HOA members was like, oh, I wanna meet Angie. Do you think she'll ever come to an HOA meeting? My friend was like, I can assure you that that will never f**king happen. Like, it's never ever ever going to happen. But, I mean, you get, like, here's one I got. Your trash cans are in the wrong place. Like, it was just a general reminder to the neighborhood. And it's like, go f**k yourself. Why are you worried about where my trash can is? What would happen to your neighborhood if the HOA never met? I'll tell you exactly what would happen. f**king nothing. Right. Nothing. Nothing would happen. Mm-mm. Nope. f**king nothing would happen. Right? It's so funny. I just reminded me of a story. Okay. So we have like a clubhouse where there's a pool and there's a workout place. Right. When my kids were littler, they would peruse through the neighborhood, and they would go to the little, workout place to see if they could get in. It's like locked after a certain time. I don't know. When they were trying to get in, it would immediately pop up on the HOA Facebook of, like, pictures of my kids, like, slammed up against the door trying to get in. I mean, within 30 seconds of it happening. And I was like, okay. So somebody is just sitting there watching the footage of the black and white camera outside the door of this spa area. Mm-mm. So somebody is, like, literally at home on a Saturday night, has their eyeballs on the video camera outside the fitness center door. How f**ked up is that? It's really f**ked up, and I, just wanna point out for the listener that this is in the suburbs. Alright. I'll read the next one. Michelle m says, when someone says that they have to tell you something and then says, never mind. Now you have to tell me because if you don't, I won't stop thinking about it and obsessing over it. Michelle, this is so true. Exactly the same way. I feel exactly the same way someone did it to me the other day. They're like, well, I'll just tell you later next time I see you. I'm like, absolutely not. You're going to have to tell me right now. And it's invariably, it's a big fat nothing. Tell the listener what I say to you when you do this to me. What do you say to me? I'm going to get in my car. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get in my car and drive it through the front of your house if you do not tell me right now. Yeah. She'll do this. She'll go, oh my god. I have to tell you something. Oh, never mind. And I'm like, god damn it. She says, it's not a big deal. And I'm like, you f**king tell me right now or I'm gonna take my car, blast through the gated community gate, and I'm gonna drive straight through the front of your house honking and screaming, going f**king crazy until you tell me. She tells me it's a f**king nothing. It's a f**king nothing. Mhmm. Yeah. That's bad. That's bad. People do it all the time. Terrible. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Pups. I know that your youngest child is graduating this spring and that you are gonna be an empty nester, and you've had so much anxiety and heartache surrounding that. How are you coping? I am coping by using BetterHelp. I love that it's so convenient, fits my schedule, and I can do it in the privacy and comfort of my own home. You know what I like about BetterHelp is I can just book an appointment online, and I've tried a couple of therapists that weren't quite the right fit and I was able to choose a different therapist at no additional charge. And I too have found therapy such a great outlet for me because I have so much anxiety juggling 2 jobs and all of the traveling that we have to do for work. It's just such a great reset for my mental health. Listener, find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visitbetterhelp.com/ had it today to get 10% off your 1st month. That's betterhelphelp.com/hadit. Pumps, let's face it. Life is stressful. You've just added a new puppy to your life, and you're barely getting any sleep. How are you managing? How are you coping? You know, it takes a lot of different things to be a new mother. But what I have found so helpful is just Thrive probiotics. There's one thing I don't have to worry about and that's bloat, constipation, or diarrhea. You know, you have been having high quality bowel movements ever since you started the Just Thrive probiotic regimen. I am so happy that you have solved that problem in your life and it is no longer an issue. Because I agree, new motherhood is very stressful and you do not have to worry about bowel movements. Listen, right now, when you go to just thrive health dotcom, use the promo code had it. You can get 20% off a 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic and Just Calm Psychobiotic. I really like the psychobiotics. That's like getting a whole month for free. Again, all you have to do is go to just thrive health.com, and be sure to use the promo code had it. This one is from Michelle, and she writes, I live in rural Pennsylvania, and I f**king had it with how many women I know. I'm in my forties. Have had an abortion in their teens, early twenties, and are now preaching pro life. Trump, MAGA agenda. Get all the way f**ked, you hypocrite pieces of literal s**t. I've had it. I totally agree with that. And and this is something this is a whole part of the discussion about Roe v Wade that nobody talks about. That's right. And it is we always go to the extreme when we talk about it, and we talk about rape and incest and whatnot. And, of course, if you've been raped, victim of incest, medical conditions, it's not the government's, anybody's business, what you decide to do with that. But there are many cases where you have these, evangelical women who they themselves had an abortion in, you know, latter parts of high school or college or what have you. We know plenty. Sure. And, and nothing wrong. I mean, it is not my business Right. At all. I support Absolutely. Everybody's right to privacy and especially their right to privacy when it comes to medical procedures. But then, you know how they're voting and then this gets overturned. And then they have teenage daughters, and sometimes these people care so much about what other people think. Mhmm. And know deep down that their daughter, being a teen mom is not good for the optics of their family or for this daughter's trajectory. And if you're wealthy and you live in a red state, then you can afford to go to a blue state to seek the care that you're seeking. But if you're not, then it just keeps you in the poverty cycle. Absolutely. There's zero support after the child's born. You know, there are so many pro life hypocrites in this state, in this state alone. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. And I was just thinking, you know, she said it beautifully. Go f**k yourself, you big bunch of hypocrites. But I've lived long enough that I went to school with girls that I know had abortion when they're young, and now they're feeding their daughters, like, it's against God. It's all this s**tty culture, purity culture. And I'm just like, shut the f**k up. You should be more empathetic. You should be more supportive than anybody because you've been through it. Let's just but it makes it worse almost, I feel like. The pro lifers are also the pro gun people. Right. And the anti sex education people. Right. And the purity culture people. I mean, it's so it is it is such low IQ s**t. I mean, just you don't even have to be that advanced in your thinking to realize guns kill people. Mhmm. You know? And, abortion is none of my business. Mhmm. It it's just it's maddening, and the world is full of hypocrites on the issue. They wanna cherry pick when they care. Furthermore, a way to prevent abortion would be a robust sexual education. Purity culture is stupid. Mhmm. It is a social construct that is made up. It is sexist because it puts all this emphasis on the female being the virgin, which is exacerbates all these tropes about what a man goes out and has a bunch of sex. It's great. It's a stat 5. When a woman does, she's a w***e. And so purity culture can f**k off. Yep. The abortion hypocrites can f**k off. And let me tell you something, listener. They are peppered all over the United States. You and I have been alive long enough to know the amount of abortions that we have heard about, been drivers to. Mhmm. And, it's a lot more frequent than people realize, and it's a lot of church goers. Yeah. And at the end of the day, it's nobody else's f**king business. And it sure as f**k isn't the, politicians f**k. No. Business. That's absolutely right. Had it. Alright. Jace from Patreon says, I've had it with people texting me, hey. What are you doing on this day at this time? Because you know they're just going to rope you into something that you likely Just tell Just tell me what you want me to do and when it is. And if I don't want to, I can lie and say that I'm busy. Jace, this is excellent. This is excellent. It's a trap. That is a trap, trap, trap. This is this is an excellent point because I've received these Many times. Many times. I felt prey to one recently within the last year, and somebody sends me a text like, hey. What are you doing 9 o'clock Saturday morning? I thought it was gonna be an invitation to play pick before I see. So I respond, I'm totally free. Yeah. And then I get roped in to some meeting type deal that I want 0 and I mean 0 part of. So then I have to commit and then a couple of days later, I have to say, oh my god, I just realized I double booked and completely lie my way out of it. Yeah. You know, I will say one of the beauties, and you're not old enough yet, but when you hit the fifties, when people ask you to do stuff you don't wanna do, you can just say, I don't wanna do that. And here's here's what's even better. At my age, like, if there's a group text and it's about something, does everybody wanna do it? One of my friends will pop in and go, oh, Angie's never gonna wanna do that. And I'm like, she's a 100% right. I don't wanna do that. You know, like, people, you've whittled down your friend group so much. You hardly even get these invitations anymore because they know, a, you're a dick that you're just gonna say, f**k no. That sounds boring. Or b, you're not even gonna lie about it. You're just gonna be like, I'm not doing it. No. I don't wanna do it. Let me ask you this. K. Do you would you have any problem telling, miniature ding dong ditchers on your, front porch to go scram? No. I wouldn't. I don't think I'd say scram. I think I would probably lay it on thick, like, you know, my dogs have anxiety that is so hard on their anxiety. Even having you in my yard is it's really trying for them. So I'm gonna need you to just move along. What if after you had already said, no, let's not ding dong ditch, then the kids reapproached the front door while the parent just stood and watched it all go down? Here's the deal. That would get the Karen and me Mhmm. To the mother. Mhmm. I would be like, I don't understand where the communication gap for us is. Mhmm. I've asked you to move your kids. You're standing here allowing it, and I'm wondering who is the parent? Who's in charge here? Right. Get the f**k out of my yard. She said I draw the line at scram, but I will say get the f**k out of my yard. I mean, the more I thought about it out of my yard. Yard. I wouldn't say scram. What I would say is get your kids and get the f**k out and get the f**k out of my yard. Yeah. I probably would. Scram probably that's you probably handled it much more diplomatically than I would have. Thank you. You're just a diplomat over there. The ambassador for kindness and love. Sometimes youth prevails. Sometimes. Sometimes. Not always. This one is from Mariana, and she writes, I've had it with people who say, to make a long story short Mhmm. And then do not. And you know what? The people who say that are the longest of storytellers ever. You know what? It's the people we've always said this. People that are making these declarative statements are saying things, it's a tell. It's like when you say stuff like, oh, I would never gonna do that, then I know that you're gonna do it. No. Immediately, it's gonna happen. So I know when somebody says make a long story short, I know it's gonna be long. Right. You immediately know it's gonna be dragged out. Immediately know. Yeah. And we're both punch liners. Yes. Like hit me with the punchline. Tell me what the story is. And then I'll pepper you with questions based on my interest in the story. You know, what's so great about our friendship. And we spend so much even more time together now because of this podcast. If you're telling a story and you're taking too long, I can go land it, land it, land it Very aggressively, I can say that and you go, oh my god. Okay. I'm sorry. And then you punchline it. Sometimes when I'm with other people, I will go, I will go, okay, so what was the point or get to the point and I'm rushing them along and I can realize they're like really, like, at my direct and I'm like, this person is not pumps. I can't this is not a thick skinned person. You can't talk to them like this. So then sometimes I just don't want to talk to people. Yeah. So it just, in other words, it's just easier to not talk. It's easier to avoid people at all costs. How about the person that, okay, so this just happened to me. This couple is telling a story and it's like, okay. So on Friday and husband goes, no, no, no. It wasn't on Friday. It was on Thursday. And she's like, was it on Thursday? And I'm just like, no one f**king cares. Why are you arguing about that day? The semantics arguers Oh. That go It is. That is and no, it doesn't matter that people that are searching for a, arbitrary detail about a story. And then and you and you just see it going on, and it's like it doesn't matter if it was in 2004. Right. It's just a f**king punch line. Right. Tell me what is the plane. Land the f**king plane. LTP. There you go. I've got another one. Same thing. When someone starts with no offense, but, I know it's about to be the most offensive s**t I've ever heard in your life. A 100%. Or with all due respect Which means 0 respect is about to come on with us. Uh-huh. It's just like a tell. Listeners, Pumps and I have discovered the coolest new app. It's called Lumen, and Lumen is the world's first handheld metabolic coach. It's a device that measures your metabolism through your breath. And on this app, it lets you know if you're burning fat or carbs and gives you a tailored guidance to improve your nutrition, workouts, sleep, and even stress management. Because your metabolism is at the center of everything your body does, optimal metabolic health translates to a bunch of benefits, including easier weight management, improved energy levels, better fitness results, better sleep, etcetera. Lumen basically gives you recommendations to improve your metabolic health. Listen up, listeners. If you wanna take the next step in improving your health, go to lumen.me and use the code had it to get $100 off your Lumen. That's lumen.me, and be sure to use the code had it at checkout for $100 off and would like to thank Lumen for sponsoring this episode. Pumps, spring is in the air, and I'm constantly cleaning the house, purging things I don't use, and I want my house to be spick and spam and clean. My only problem is that cat of mine and that litter box. Fortunately, I have solved the odor problem and made my cat's life so much better by using pretty litter, because not only is my cat pretty, but now her litter is pretty as well. And this gives me a peace of mind. Pretty Litter's crystals change color, and that indicates early signs of potential illnesses in my cat, like urinary tract infections, kidney issues, and more. Pretty Litter ships free right to my front door, and I never run out. I don't have huge kitty litter bags taking up space and even better, I don't have to lug those huge tubs from a store to my car and into my house. Listener, if you have a cat, Pretty Litter is pretty amazing. You've got to try it. Go to prettylitter.com/hadit to save 20% on your first order. That's prettylitter.com/hadit to save 20% on your first order. Prettylitter.com/hadit. Terms and conditions apply. Please see the site for details. Pumps, the weather's getting warmer. It's time to tuck our sweaters away and bring out our spring and summer wardrobe. The problem is I always like a few new updates each season, and it's just so difficult to find the time and the budget to go out and completely get a new wardrobe. Luckily, I've discovered Quince and also turned you on to Quince. I particularly like their silk camis. I have one in ivory and one in black. They're great with a pair of jeans or under a blazer. I love the European linen dresses. They're the perfect weight for summer and they're good for whatever you wanna do and they're comfortable. And the best part about Quince is that all items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They partner directly with top factories, so that means that Quince can cut out the cost of the middleman and pass the savings right on to you. Listener, get warm weather ready with Quince. Go to quince.com/haditforfree shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince.com/hadit to get free shipping and 365 day returns. That's quince.com/hadit. Kimmy Curry says, I've had it with appliances having to be smart or super high-tech, etcetera. Just give me a dishwasher that washes the dishes in a timely manner, Not one that I have to f**king download a smartphone app and learn how to set the f**king control panel for 20 minutes while looking at the app and the instructions before I can even push start. I hate it. f**k off with your smart stupid appliances and just do the job you're supposed to do. I've had it. f**k. Oh my god. That is like I've never heard anything I identify with more than that. It happens all the f**king time. It's like, I'm not gonna get on my phone and set my ice maker. The other day, I got the scale in and it wanted to, like, upload to my phone. And so I'd like I didn't know what was happening at first. So I'm just going through it. It's like, download the app to your phone. And I was like, okay. Got the app on my phone. Here we go. Did it pretty soon, I'm like so now I get on the scale and it goes to my phone? Like, that's the worst idea I've ever heard. So you step on the scale and you couldn't see the weight on the scale? You can see both. That's the thing. But they wanna do an app on top of everything else. And then the dishwasher The apps are out of control. It's out. The apps are out of control. The government needs to step in and limit the amount of apps. Everybody's got a f**king app. It's like everybody being a photographer now or an entrepreneur. Right. Everybody's got an app. Every company has an app. There's an app for everything. I don't want all of these apps. I don't want all of these apps. It's too much. Don't you think the apps are out of control? I agree. You do? Because I'm surprised because you grew up I mean, you grew up Too many apps. Too many apps. The smarter they're making s**t, the dumber it really is, the harder everything is. It makes it so much harder. Like, I have an Alexa in every room. In my mind, it should make it easier. I try to use her. I just end up screaming at her to shut the f**k up because she doesn't do what I ask. Right. I could have just looked at the time on my phone. You know what I mean? Right. How many Alexis do you have? I have I have 3 right now. What kind of commands what what goes on with you and Alexa? Alexa wakes me up every morning. How? She's like an alarm? How? She has an alarm set that I've told her to set every morning at, like, 6:30 or something. Say? She just goes off every morning at 6:30 or 7. But do you to in order to set it, do you go into an app, or do you give it a verbal In the app, I have to have an Alexa app. And then I say, Alexa, stop when I wake up. Right? And then for some reason in the app, I set all these settings that I thought were super high-tech. So as soon as I wake up, she then tells me the weather outside, like, what day it is, all of these things that I was like, that'll be great in the morning. That'll be great in the morning. Let me ask you this. I thought it's annoying. I thought Alexa was somebody that you could say, Alexa, set my alarm for 6:30 AM. Alexa, set my alarm for 6:30 AM every weekday. So now I she does it every weekday. So you verbally told her to do that, or you went the app to do it? I told her that one, and then I set all these settings that I thought were high-tech. She turns my lights on at certain problem. Hate it. Do you hate her? I hate her. I feel like that's, like, people watching you all the time. I will say this. Did you all see that commercial that now it it's some new thing, some new app deal. And the actual commercial is the door will not unlock because the woman didn't turn one of her lights off. And she's like, oh, thanks for reminding me. I'm like, you're f**king locked into your house by some kind of command. It was f**ked up and weird. I'll tell you what else. I've had several cases since Alexa came on the scene. People are spying on each other with Alexis or Alexa. Alexis. Alexis, Alexa, the whole nine. It's you can spy on people. In divorce cases, this is happening? People that live together, they no longer live together, but you don't think I need to go in and change the password on my Alexa and you've got somebody that you're divorcing that's recording what's happening to you. Via Alexis. Via Alexis. Why don't you share with the listener, what is that rapper's name that, is related to the, puff daddy case? 50¢. No. It's 50¢, but I didn't know that until, like, a week ago. Listeners, she's been running around the last couple of weeks referring to 50¢ as 50¢. And Kylie and I have just been dying with laughter. Okay. I've got one from Esther. K. Esther says, I've had it with the pledge of allegiance in schools. Talk about indoctrination. What's more dangerous to kids? Making them listen to and or perform a pledge to a flag under a religious symbol every f**king morning or having a book just available in the library that mentions race, sexuality, etcetera, that 95% of kids won't ever see. I think we know the answer. It's drag queens. You know, I, obviously grew up in America, went to American public schools and every morning that come on the speaker, he had a flag in every room and he stood up and he said the pledge of allegiance to the flag. And it's just it's just something you did. I never thought much of it. Never thought anything about it. Thought anything about my country. I never thought, god, I think the flag's so beautiful. I I just it was just something we had to do in order to get to the next step in school, in order for the final bell to ring so I could get the f**k out of there. And I would say, probably since, all the patriots were activated by Donald Trump. Mhmm. And it's all this, I love American, all this, like, flag s**t, Donald Trump, dry hopping the flag, and all this crap. I start thinking back on the pledge of allegiance. And then I think to, like, if you're watching a documentary and it shows the indoctrination of, like, North Koreans, where it's this forced patriotism. And I think, okay, we're making preschoolers and kindergartners, 1st graders stand up every single day and say a pledge of allegiance. It's forced indoctrinated patriotism. I think it's much better to learn about the country and learn that there are a lot of fantastic assets that the United States of America has. We also have a lot of problems. We have a health care problem. We have a gun problem. We have an income inequality problem. We have a large percentage of the population that has joined a cult that's neither here nor there, but I think having a conversation about it and having people learn about it and learn about their culture instead of being told, in order to be America American, you have to love America. You're gonna say the pledge every day and blah blah blah. And the people who are so pro, I pledge allegiance blah blah blah. These are the people that run around and call each other patriots and accuse everybody else of hating their country. It but it's like this real, like, shallow, reptilian brain of theirs that is, like, real black and white thinking where there's so much about the United States that I love. Absolutely. But it's They're interesting. There's so much that I love. There's a lot about American culture that I think is really fantastic. I am I'm not really in love with the, issue, the racial issues and the racial inequality in this country. We'll still need to do better and work harder. I just think honesty is just a much better way to create organic pride Absolutely. About a place. And I think if you really have pride, true honest pride about your country, you can also hold a compound compound thoughts, compound feelings about your country. And on the one hand, you're able to say, I love this country. There's a lot of great things about it. I'm not very proud of the racial inequality. I'm not proud that this country is taking away women's rights. I just think blind patriotism is incredibly dangerous. You know, and we wouldn't have thought or I would not have thought that 10 years ago, but it has become such bulls**t and it's been abused because I'm like the same people who are doing the performative pledge of allegiance, dry hemp in the flag, got them off their trucks. They are the same people that are all for fascism, that are all for banning certain populations from the planet. They're all for whitewashing history. You know? I mean, I just I think about the flag now, and I think, wouldn't it be in my mind, and this might be super idea, but, like, okay. We're gonna do the pledge of allegiance. Let's analyze that. How do we get here? Duh, dah, dah, dah. Okay. Next month, let's do the LGBTQIA plus flag. What's let's learn about that. Like, let's learn about the flag. How did we get her? Why are we doing that versus just blind performative patriotism? And then, oh, I'm so pro American. I'm a Patriot. I'm f**king in on a coup all day long. I f**king hate democracy. I want an authoritarian porn star f**ker. I mean, it's just I don't I do not understand how those two things go together. I'm super religious, but by god, I want guns. You know? I mean, it's just I can't f**king take all the performative bulls**t. I can't take it. Pat it. Listen up, patriots. Pumps is at the tail end of her life. You guys need to f**king knock it off with your g*****n trucks, fall sacks, and the flags, and all the performative bulls**t, and let this woman die and live out the final stages of her life in peace, you f**king foe patriot f**k faces. Right? Thank you. You're welcome. Have my back. Always have your back meanwhile. Thank you. Alright. And our last one is from our Patreon member, Victoria. And Victoria says, she's had it with the war on ketchup. Sometimes you're lucky if you get one packet of ketchup with a French fry order in a drive through. Don't even get me started on the tiny little serving dishes of ketchup they give you at restaurants. This is an area which definitely needs more oversight, and I've had it. Free ketchup. Just free it. There is everybody talks about all these other wars. They talk about the war on Christmas Yep. War on America, the war on patriotism, the witch hunt against Donald Trump. Nobody except for f**king Victoria is talking about the war on ketchup, and I agree with her. There are ketchup hoarders. There are people that are stingy with ketchup and then these tiny little, I would say that you're talking about a half inch deep ramekin at some burger joint you go to where then you have to get like 5, right? And you look like a glutton. Yeah. And then you look like a f**king psycho. Yeah. What I hate is they say when you drive up to the drive through, tell us exactly how many ketchup package you're gonna need. Well, I don't know. I mean, what's what's appropriate? I don't know how many I'm gonna need. Maybe I'll need 2, maybe I'll need 5. I don't know. Or do you have to pay extra for the ketchup? Why do you have to pay extra for the ketchup? You why. Okay. Because there was probably a Zoom meeting with a lot of corporate speak about how to increase profit sales. Right. They scrambled the jets. They pulled some files out of the parking lot. It workshopped it. They work shopped it, and everybody decided get stingy with the ketchup. Right. And that means that our shareholders are gonna make more money. And so all of this all of this goes back to the same f**king problem. Mhmm. Corporate speak, and if we take it back even further, let's just blame every single bit of this on Donald Trump. Right. Donald Trump is the enemy of ketchup. Well, I mean, he waste ketchup. He throws ketchup. He throws ketchup. He does he doesn't respect ketchup. He doesn't have any respect for ketchup, which he doesn't have any respect for anyone but himself. So why would he respect ketchup? That's right. What a little baby throwing ketchup up when he's mad. You big guy. He's a tough. He's a big tough guy. You're a tough guy. You've bigger strong man. You're teeny weeny and you're ketchup throwing. Oh, baby. A gag. I just so can't believe when you posted that picture on your Instagram, all the people on there defending Trump. I know. It's wild. It's crazy. It's just I just I can't you know, like, if he secretly kinda liked him, I would never tell anyone. Would you ever write it on the Internet? No. No. I would be so on the down low, you couldn't find me. I'd be on the dark web. I don't even know how to get on there, but I'd get on there to support him. I would not want anyone to know. Well, alright, listeners. That's what we had it with this week. Got lots of have it. Lots of good habits. Go buy our merch, join our patreon. Our solo bonus session starts right after this on patreon for members only, ad free, and also on patreon, you can hear our overnight sensation hit podcast called Girl, Please. Alright. And we will see you guys See you next Tuesday or Thursday or Beth. I'll tell you what I've had it with. What's yours? I've had it with that.
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