Episode 57

Transcript

This is Chris out for an apology, of course, our podcast, and I'm taking Marquette over Butler and they're getting February 28th, but online history online is available online or on your mobile device. Visit Bid online download today. How long does it take to tackle a home project with Angie? You could cross it off your list before this ad is over. Just tell us what you need. Indoor or outdoor repair or redesign and we handle the rest. Sending a top pro to get it done. You don't have to lift a finger except to tap the screen or click the mouse. Plus, Angie is free to use. So bring us your next home project and we'll bring it home. Download the app or go to anti-cop. That's an Jio.com to get started. Well, comedian Alan Gold comes back. Hilarious Violet Benson is back as well. We'll get into the Icehouse comedy last night. Ellen's still in case the case, it's got Zelinsky. We got it all all going on right after this. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show one. 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Savor the city's c**ktail of culture and sip on our famous c**ktails or simply enjoy late nights out, followed by late breakfast in bed. Save on every room every night when you click on Clayton at Clayton, Hotels.com T's and C's apply. Hey, this is Dr. Drew, and I'd like to invite all of you to subscribe to the Dr. Drew podcast. We are very proud of what we're doing there at that podcast. I am interviewing some of the most interesting people you could ever want to talk to. Just whatever I find fascinating where there's a smart person or an expert in a field that I'm interested in, or maybe I'm not even interested in, I'm only interested because I've heard them speak and become intrigued. I think you'll be intrigued as well. We get deep into topics that are quite important to the current age things like cognitive dissonance, cognitive distortions. How does our mind work? We talk about everything of the Doctor Who podcast that is of real relevance. We get all the way into deep physics and all sorts of stuff. But trust me, it's all very accessible. It's very interesting. Headaches. If you're even interested in learning about headaches, we get there. We go to the interesting topics of the day. Please join us at the Dr. Drew podcast. We're back inside the toolbox with the hits, keep coming in the rain and a monsoon as much of the West Coast experience a storm of biblical proportions this weekend. It feels like in times. So let's go back to the beginning and book one of the Old Testament, the Lord said. Let there be a drummer who sings. And Phil Collins was created. This song is called Abacavir, which is short formed the original structure of the song verse, chorus, verse, bridge, verse, chorus, four parts abacavir, respectively. Put them all together and you've got a cab. It's not a real word, but it is a real hit from the second coming of Genesis on the toolbox on the. They're all. Behind the door. Live from Girl One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guests today Alan Gold and Violet Benson, plus luxury real estate agent Erin Ackerman. And some news stories with Chris, Lakshmana and a spirited round of blah blah blog. And now wondering what Aaron would do with a house with a dirt lawn and two front doors. Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on, got get on a judge, we're going to mandate it on for tuning in. Thanks for telling the friend we love that about you. Alan Gold is here. Violet Benson is. May I introduce myself as Johnny Carson would have introduced me in the old days? Yes. OK, I'm glad you're all in a good mood tonight. We got a we got a funny young man. He's from the Bronx, New York. He's making his network television debut with us. Would you please welcome Mr. Ilan goal? He would get my name wrong in the end, but so I just introduce myself. Nice violet. Have do you know who Johnny Carson is and do you know who and old is still of the band? Well, that's that's an easy one. You know the band Genesis. No, wait a second, neither to vote. No, no, no, no, no. You know, Gen. Phil Collins zone. Throwing it all the way? No, no. OK. Johnny Carson, who hosts Johnny Carson, sounds really off. No, actually. No, I don't. Johnny Carson host. Let's go. We got to go back that far. Let's not go to like, you know, Jack Paar. Let's go. Do you know the, you know, Jay Leno? Yeah. Oh, that good you have out there because of the 10 a.m. because Jay would be so happy to hear that. It's not the jokes. It's my faith at zero, but my lower faith, the part that wasn't burnt off. Oh my god. All right. So Dana fire. Yeah, yeah. I think he's OK now that he said. I don't think I think I can sleep, and I think I did this joke last time. But it's worth repeating. You know, I was never at Burning Man, but I was a Burning Man. Folks, oh, this is good. So before Jay Leno, there was a guy named Johnny Carson. He was the king of late night. He did it for about 30 years, and he had a little twitch. And everything he said is, Is that weird? He would say something and then say, Is that is that weird? Is that wild stuff anyway? No. Johnny Carson Violet, maybe? I don't know. I mean, I'm more of a face person. Not really a name person night, right? So you would have, by the way, in the era, just seeing more of a famous person, that guy? Yes. I don't know. I would have to. You would you would have to go to Mount Rushmore to identify the guys that were on it. You couldn't just do it. I can see that guy still around. That guy is not still around. He was. It was a big smoker and he died of emphysema. Yes. But yeah, I'll tell you one thing Johnny missed out on. He would have loved pickleball. Oh, he would have loved it. God, he would still be alive if pickleball came into vogue before he died. That would have kept him going for now 20 years because all he did was smoke out on the colonies in the mouth. But he'd sit by the way his home in the colonies in Malibu. Speaking of real estate, I mean, he must have bought that home in 1973 for a dollar, a princely sum of like when it was rather like $300000 system. That thing is like forty seven million dollars. But he would sit, play the drums, smoke and then he would go out to his tennis court and hit hit the ball around. But but if he had pickleball, no doubt he would still be here. It's what they're all doing. Larry David does it every Sunday. There are all the kids are doing the pickle balls. Oh, that's Johnny's home and the holidays. Now there it is. I wonder what that thing's valued at. Ben, you got to figure out like when he bought that and what it is today, but I guarantee 40s. He bought it at $40 million dollars. That's like you go to Google campus. All right. Let's go over Genesis and Phil Collins songs with Violet now. Oh yeah. Do you know Phil Collins? No. Man, she would recognize a song, let's. OK, to my defense and also not from America. Yeah, sure. Sure, sure. Things I know she's Russian. Like you never heard of Abba, right? No. Why in mind? You're not from Sweden? Well, I know Abba. Oh, you do. Yeah. They were popular in my country. OK, well, I guess my dad was a fan of them. Abba Michael Jackson, then obviously Britney Spears. And by the way, Abba. But you don't know Abba Cab. No. OK. Why have we spent the first four minutes attacking this poor young Russian woman? We're getting to know. I mean, here's the thing. She's from Russia. She's younger than us by like a mile and a half. Yeah, she shouldn't know things that we know. I'm just not going to tell her. I can switch to a totally inert subject that I feel like we could all go on because now we're not picking on you or I don't even care. I has a strong woman. I never said to the Russian, You know, my wife is Russian, by the way. You know, her maiden name is probably OK. Yeah, she's real trashy. She she was like Jewish. Yeah, she's third generation America. She's not like, Hello. It's not like one of those like cover you. It's not that like, you couldn't tell she was Russian. She doesn't still have the chest hair. Mm hmm. What Russians have Sara? I'm joking. It's a joke. I'm being funny. Her name is truth. Her her maiden name is truth. Yeah, Pravda. It means truth. Yeah, it's a common Russian, I mutter. Yeah, we yeah. We have three way. Oh no, you just met her. That's right. We just met. But anyway, yeah, I only like women. We trust her. So. No, no. The truth? It's just a silly joke about Russian women. I love Russian women because I married one. But here's what I notice here's a new bit that I've been doing about the Russian language. Mm hmm. Right? Oh, I know. Adam just said this is more of a conversation. You're not doing panel on the old cars, but the Russian language they sound like. It sounds like the noise you make when you're trying to swat a fly. It's like this is little that you do was dualism. All right. Later on in the show, I'll do my new impression of Zelinsky. Oh yeah, I'm looking for it. But let's talk. I'll go ahead. I'll be Sean Penn. All right, Ben. But provide the year that he bought the house, please? Because that was so much 1984. So much apart Johnny Carson, this unknown comedic actor who had a short lived career. He bought this house in 1984 for $9.5 million. Believe now that's not the 70s that seems too high for 84, but you've got to you're going to have to check that. But his estate sold it in 05 for 46 million in cash. Then now it's 70 or whatever. Yeah, and when it comes in, 05 seems too early. Ben, these numbers seem seem weird, but oh, five forty six seems like too much. Nine point five and 84 feels like way too much, but either way, you can keep your dive into it. All right. I have other hobbies. How's the ice house last night? The ice house. I had a I had a breakthrough, a comedic breakthrough in wakening. After all these years. After all these years. Yeah, I put on a show at the Ice House last night. I'll I'll get in a line up in a second. But you didn't kill your terrible because it's the notoriously the easiest room in the country. Yes. So the ice out. So here's here's what happened to me with with the Ice House the ice houses in Pasadena, one of the bus family members of Jerry Buss bought it the The Sun. I'll think of his name in a second. Very nice gentlemen, madam. The place was always kind of a dive like it's very old and it had a kind of look like, you know, you go into one of those restaurants that was decorated in 1973, like the old Spaghetti Factory or something. It's just a bunch of dark walnut wood everywhere, and everything is kind of dark and weird. And that's how it was. It didn't really feel like a comedy club. It kind of felt like an old time restaurant or something. And there it was. But it was. It was great for me because I live in lock and yada, California. If you live in La Canada, there, there are no comedy clubs to get to. There's the improv, there's a comedy store, there's the laugh factor there on basically the same place, and they're all as far away from LA Canada as you can get. And so I was tasked with the chore of doing standup, but I would come here podcast all day. Then I drive back to lock in the and then at 8:00 at night, I'd have to leave and spend an hour driving to. Comedy star, you know, do 15 minutes, get back in the car drive for another hour. But the but the ice houses in Pasadena and I could get there in eight minutes from my house. I said, This is the place I'm going to. And I went there a few times. Then COVID kicked in, then they closed that and then that was that. And I was left with no local club. It took them a long time to rebuild it. They rebuilt it. It's spectacular. State of the art. It looks amazing. Yeah. Johnny. And is it John Buss? Yeah. And to speak to the crowd? Yeah. So I put on a show there last night Jamie, Kevin, Mr. Kyle Dunnigan was there. Darrell Hammond was there. A great lineup and and and I was just going to go last and everyone was crushing it. So then I had this thing. Ellen, you probably run into this where you put on these shows on a on a weeknight. You're going to do 15, maybe 18 minutes and you think to yourself, I should really use this time to work on some material. I'm going to work on something new material and we'll work it out over here because because that's what that's what this night is for. This night is open with it. Yeah. So I'm sitting there in the green room. But now what you do is you hear everyone crushing before you. Yeah. And I can't do my news and they're all doing their good s**t because they don't care and the guy before them crash. So they had a thought about working out some new s**t. They're like, f**k, I'm going with the old s**t, correct? Because the dude in front of me just crushed, and I'm not going to come in here with a notepad and work things out with that dude crush. Now there's momentum, right? So I'm sitting there and it's more the momentum. It's pressure to match the kill. Yeah, right? So I'm sitting there in the green room and I thought, let's not fall into this trap just because the guys in front of you are crashing and you're going last and it's your show. You still need to work out some new s**t. So I put a list together of just new s**t, a bunch of new s**t, some s**t. I've said a time or two, but never really worked out and in some s**t never been uttered on stage by me. And we're all and I just said, I'm going to go up there. I'm starting with something new. No, if it works now, I'm gonna keep going. We did do that. That's crazy, Jerry. Now the new stuff you saw with the old stuff, you go, you get into the new Jerry. You know how important it is for comedic to work out material. Guys, hey, I can't believe after the killing, killing, killing you said, let me open with the stuff that will probably tank. Yes, that's bulls, though. But I go out there, I start with a brand new thing and it kills, dammit. So then I go, Oh, f**k it, I'm going to the next thing on. It's just a box lamp. It's just a list of brand new jokes. There's probably 11 of them on there, just premises. Next one kills your next one kills. I hate you now. It's all new. It's all killing. To speak to your point, it's the greatest crowd ever. You couldn't pull that s**t off at the improv on a Wednesday night. They would not go for that. They're laughing at everything. And at some point I'm supposed to be doing 17 minutes. I don't have my phone or watch or anything. At some point, it's struck me that I went through about 10 new premises and there's still no light. They're supposed to light you at 15, and then you've got two minutes to wrap it up. I have no idea what time it is, because it's all new material. So Ellen knows you can kind of time your act out because you know your bad and you know, OK, there's like six things and then I'll end with the airline food bed. But until you see the light, you don't know what time it is like, but you can feel you peel. Aren't I done? You can gauge it by your act. But everything I did was new and I'd never done it before. So you don't know how long? I have no f**king idea what may have been 15. And I keep looking for the light. The light just never showed up at the half hour mark. Oh wow. I literally just stop. And I like to say to someone else, What time is it? Because I know I hit the stage in about nine 15, but I don't know what time it is because it's all new material. I have no gauge and there is no light. I don't f**king know what they did with the light, and he's like, It's 9:45 and I'm like, I've been up here for a half hour, which is fine. And here's my whole thing in life. You know, I get off the stage, I'm like, Where's the light? I go, Hey, you're killing it out there. We figure we just let you go. It's like, All right, but if you're not going to do the light, then say it. Yeah, because I'm looking for it and I think I'm on minute 13. One minute thirty seven. Yeah, is that that's not a thing, right? Like, they'll just like, Oh, he's doing really good. Let's hold off on the light and let it happens every now and then, especially if you're headlining. It's your show, right? I did a show before last year and it was my show at the improv, right? Yeah. Yeah, standup. I recently started also, but I did my own show by watching my podcast and then I decided to just do standup, so I wrote of myself the night before and then some of that morning, which my man, when my agents found out, like, what the f**k? Why would you do that? Because I wasn't aware. But anyway, I wasn't aware of the light, and I'm so f**king stupid that I actually went over by an hour. I give our show by just talking and not stopping, and literally got to the point that this person had to walk us towards the stage to go like this because I just kept going and because I no one told me that when the light flicks off, it means that you have to finish. I thought I was just seeing stars because I was getting too much like stage anxiety. So that happened to me, but it was all like my fans. It was different. Like, no one's going to tell me to to stop. When you said when you told that story and I have a couple of questions about that story, but the first part, I mean, to interrupt your show, not at all. You finish it back. Oh, we're it's all Adam. I'm done and I'm always beginning. So there is no end here. I'm a circle of conversation. You said when you said, and I'm sorry that my mind went here, but when you said and I get the light and then I and then I have to be finished. I wonder if there's like a light in porn where like they get the light and it's like, Oh, we, we have to be finished. We have, yeah, we have to finish now. Yeah. Like, I lied for porn. The problem, they get the light. Probably not. No, no. I think they get a bump in the back of the sack with the boom, mike. That's true. Just one tap and boom means it's time. It's a little none of them had nothing violent. The boom mikes heavily padded. It's not dangerous. So for the record, there's no light, no light. You don't. There's a boom mike sack, which means lunch is here. Let's bring it home. Do you know that I'm working on a new musical? It's called Porn The Musical. I think I'm gonna lick it here anyway. That's right, porn. The Musical. If I were a hit man, I'd be the motive. Yeah. All day long. I believe that at that. At that and all that jazz. Anyway, that's the musical. That's good. Thank you. I'm working on that. Do you have any actors? You have any Genesis songs you could do porn. Yeah, it's funny. By the way, throwing it all away is one of the best songs ever. I love that song. It's just so good in 2D. I mean, they're all good now. Phil Collins has some bad songs, but yeah, of course, but he also had some amazing listen to. Genesis had better songs, so yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's like a band. Yeah, you know, so you're you have a few heads violent here that ever heard this song? Where can we wrap up one more time and I'll enjoy it as Casey Kasem? Yes, please remember Casey Kasem. Oh, obviously no doubt know about Casey as he did American Top 40 radio blazer record store sell a billboard ranks him at 1840 clouds of doubt. Here's a little ditty by a guy named Diddy. Now I hear Oh, and here we go at number eight. It's the rock group Genesis with the greatest song ever made. Throwing it all away. Take it away in the low dos and there's a new sheriff in town. You can have them do battle. And so Casey Kasem before Ryan Seacrest did the America's Top 40 countdown of the best pop songs of the week. And he would, you know, he would say, and he had Casey had a high voice and a low one. He would say his first name up Casey Kasem. Adi Leno has that. They're going to let us down here. They're going to go the there and it's like this and it's like this. So Casey did this. He was like the most famous thing on the radio you never even heard. All right. Listen, I wish I was you. Why? Wait a second now. Wait a second. How many jokes may have popped the five mg before this? Just to perfect my impressions? I call it a line out right before the place she goes. Are you high? I go. I mean, maybe I popped something. I was just I was at the Comedy Store talking to Jay Pharoah, who's a great impressionist comedian. He was on SNL and he got stoned because I'm about to go on. I go. Why do you get stoned before a set? And he said, Your impressions? Because I go, Oh my God, I just discovered that because I'm not a stoner guy, I just started doing a little thing. No, I swear till I was 50, I swear. Like, I didn't drink till my 30s and do anything. Yeah, I swear. I'm like, I'm high on life, girlfriend. But today, yeah, this morning I'm taken anyway. So. So he said. When you do a little edible, even five or 10, whatever it crystallizes, the you're like your impressions come out. I don't know if it's no inhibition or whatever, but my impressions are more perfect when I am, you know, slightly added, I yeah, I need to do that. I'm like the same. I like I drive so much better on like three bears. Really, driving is a know. I'm just I know a lot of kids listening to the show when I was trying to pass pass a message along that I'm like, Oh, go ahead. Hold on. Ben, did you find anything about those houses or we we we've done with that one? All right. Can I get back, but hold on? Yeah, hold on. The other thing is, is a course. Of course, Casey is most. Casey Kasem is the most famous for his meltdown over over dog star. I got to do some got dead dead dog. Dedication by f**k's sake is done on the phone. I don't know the story. Oh, play it out of the song ! OK, so imagine the most mild mannered guy at everything is allowed. This is education at at number eight. And he was just always happy. Go lucky. And then there was this lost or found tape where he goes nuts on the staff, and as he's reading his his copy, he starts cursing. You never heard Casey Kasem curse. He starts yelling at everyone. He's like, I got to read these g*****n death dedications and then go into it up ballad. This f**king mother is down on the phone. Can we please? Reference agent was the name Don in 1979. Buchwald that's done something. Joan, you name your kid done in the 60s just so it could. He'll be an agent someday, be the camera he'll be managing. Now, listen to this. So just imagine this mild mannered, sweet guy. Who do we have it? Watch this court on the countdown will begin this Sunday afternoon at 1:00. Right here on the radio station. You grew up with music radio one three eight. Oh, f**k what the hell's going on here? He's well, this is the last hour we got another hour to do, she says. Oh, we're almost finished. Good golly, miss Molly. f**king ponderous man. Ponderous, f**kin ponderous. Hi, this is Casey Kasem. American Top 40 is moved to a new time. I hope you'll join me this Saturday morning and every Saturday morning it too cool. Oh OK, hold on. I got that dog out the door. Here goes dead, dog. It's coming. Now we're up to hour long distance dedication, and this one is about kids and pets and the situation that we can all understand whether we have kids or pets are neither. It's from a man in Cincinnati, Ohio, and here's what he likes. Dear Casey, this may seem to be a strange dedication request, but I'm quite sincere and it will need a lot if you play it. Recently, there was a death in our family. He was a little dog named Snuggles, but he was most certainly a part of Let's Start Again from coming out of the record. Play the record. OK, please. He's losing it. Here we go. See, when you come out of those up tempo, g*****n numbers man is impossible to make those transitions. True, you got to go into somebody dying. You know, they do this to me all the time. I don't know what the hell they do it for, but god damn it, if we can't come out of a slow record, I don't understand it is down on the phone. OK, I want a g*****n concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a f**king up tempo record. Every time I do a g*****n death dedication now make it. And I also want to know what happened to the pictures I was supposed to see this week. There's a got last g*****n time. I want somebody use f**king brain. They're not come out of a g*****n record. That is, that's up tempo. And I got to talk about a f**king dog dying. What is this f**king ponderous man? All I know is, after all, your years. No. But yet? Well, no, it wasn't. They would tape it. So some engineer. But that's not a lot of this. Yeah, but here's my question the dog's life in all your years of radio, there'd be love. Is there an Adam Carolla lost that tape? There must be no. I lose it on the air. Yeah, I would. I would lose it on. The air is actually live. I would do all of my screaming on the air all the time. I would wait till the mic got hot before I launched into some tirade that could have been about anything all the time. Speaking of Casey Kasem, there's a there's a channel on iHeartRadio that replays all the Casey Top 40 countdown show. You can play and listen to one at any time. Perfect. We were listening to this one night and the band Taco putting on the Ritz. They were in there and somewhere in the top 10. And Casey says, now for those of you who don't know, a taco is a Mexican sandwich. Wow. For those of you who don't know, our taco is a Mexican sandwich that is so funny, Casey, why don't you yell for Don is down to the bone every time I order a g*****n taco at this f**king Mexican restaurant, by the way, can we get back to your bravery? Because I'm not kidding. I am so impressed by this every single time I'm at the back of a club and there's killing on stage, and I'm next. I go. Forget the new thing. Just go to the this stuff that works. Go to the golden oldies. And maybe in the middle if I'm killing, you know, try out that new thing. In fact, just a week and a half ago, I chickened out. So I'm getting ready to do a set on the James Corden show. And you have to just practice the set, as is. There's only one way to do it. You just got to practice it as is. And I'm looking at this crowd and the last guy's killing, and I go, I can't get up there to this crowd. It's all like dick jokes that everyone's having a good time with my like, important material about A. So I have this opening line where I say, Is it me? Or Does it feel like these past couple of years, everyone was either asymptomatic or anti-Semitic and like being asymptomatic? You could be anti-Semitic, not even know you have it. And then it goes into this whole bit. But I'm like, Am I going to open with that? They're just going to stare at me like, Oh, come on, man, talk about your dick, you know, come on to head. It's heady and it's heavy. So I was just like, I bailed as it's like night before. You have to just practice, as is, it's the dress rehearsal and I get up there and I go, and now here is Michael Caine either saying his name or his drug of choice by cocaine. Like, OK, well, here's the problem. All right, let me explain to everyone listening how the process works in the head of the comedian, which is really, truly the same as all human beings work with like diets. You know, they go starting tomorrow. God, that's tomorrow. No more bagels and no money. And then the next morning you're like, Okay, half a bagel, half a bagel smile. You know, we have these two days away out from the show. You're like 80 percent new s**t, 80 percent new s**t that's two days out. One day out, I got like 50 percent. We're going 50 new on the ride to the club. You're like, we're going to do three new ones, three new ones. Then standing in the green room listing everyone crush like, OK, one short new one, maybe in the middle and then on stage. It's like, f**k the new one. That's the process. You went from four to eight hours out. You're going to do 80 percent new s**t. Wow. Two. On stage. Total cut and cut and run from anything. Every comedian needs to see this clip last night. It's our life that dance. I do it every single g*****n time went for it. This is a good crowd and I'm going to do something new right at the top. And if it works, I'm going into the next new thing. It just kept working. But you know what? You know what I discovered? Oh, this is what I wanted to hear. I'm having I had a little revelation. Discovery. A revelation on stage is the great. It happens maybe two times in 30 years. I discovered with the new stuff, you're forced to work harder, you're more engaged and you're more animated because you don't have it worked out, so you're not mailing it in. And not that I ever mail in the other stuff, but there's a part of your brain that's so familiar with the material that's just like you're singing a song for the 15th time. You just you don't burn as many calories Adams sold. He faxes it in. That's right, folks. You guys write out your jokes completely or is it a completely? You have not lost sight. Some people have different process where you have a premise and you go, rip it out. You just said you did that and Chappelle does that, and a lot of people do that. But Miley was telling me, Yeah. She said, like the great comedian Maury Amsterdam before the show, is that? Yes. Yes. She he wouldn't script it all verbatim. And I remember we had a discussion of red buttons used to really know everybody has a different process. But I would say 80 percent of comedians go on stage with their acts and their bits written and memorized. Maybe they switch up the order or whatever. But what most comedians do that? And then there's Oh, and then there's this guy who Mr. Happy and he would just go on and who? Who knows? You know, no, that is fine, you know? Yeah, obviously. Who's that? I mean, I don't want David Letterman. Yeah. Now, who is this? Robin Williams? Yeah, OK. Oh, all right. You know Robin Williams? Oh yeah. You know, I don't know. OK, let's see if she knows what I'm doing right now. Is a very contemporary. He's very current. And if you were on his show, he would say this. Well, this is very exciting. Robin, let me tell you something. This Violet Benson, I mean, look at her and she's not being revealing today, which I like when it's hidden, Robin. Usually she does what? You still don't know who I'm doing. Know how that that could be your fault, though. I like it wasn't good. Good I would try to get. Let me tell you something, Robin this violet bench. All right. Look. Hey, listen to me. I don't need criticism over here on my left, it's Howard Stern, right? Yeah, well, maybe it just wasn't good. There, even Howard Stern isn't isn't really. I obviously know who he is, but I don't. I forgot his voice. I'm sorry, Brian. Can you do Yakov Smirnoff Yale Law in my country? So you want to hear my new Zelensky? Yeah. So I'm obsessed with following him on Instagram, and he's mesmerizing. When he talks, he just stares into the camera and speaks, What is his? What language is he speaking? Not Russian? It's what we call Zelensky, the president of Ukraine. Oh yeah, that guy. He speaks, What are you anti him? Because you're Russian? No. OK. I'm a Jew. So then of the day, Russia and Ukraine both didn't f**k with the Jews. Yeah, I girl, they kicked us out from our countries. So I'm good. Wow. So where you're pro, I just got confused. I'm a Jew before I'm Russia. Good for you. So how do you feel about Germany? So, I mean, I drive a Mercedes, so I'm cool with it. Disgusting's as a Jew in our cars. Yeah. Well, I have a I have a deal. I drive a G-Wagon because I have a deal with Mercedes. I understand that. Good for you. You go where the money is Jew. Listen, the point is, no, I'm joking. The point is that you're what were you just saying that you're you're Jewish, but your allegiance is to Russia? That's what you're saying. Neither. Oh to neither. Because they weren't good to their Jews. It's just it's my fault. I don't know what to say. No, good for you. This is somebody I don't like to get political. Let me go on donuts doesn't want to talk about. There are many countries that do not want to talk. I want to know. So anyway, so Zelensky, a cool guy. So when when I what does he speak? What language is he speaking in? I. Is it Russia? It's Russia. Maybe they switch to Ukrainian. So all he does is look into the camera very seriously, and he just doesn't stop talking and I'm mesmerized by it. And I'm trying to follow along, but I understand a word. So he's just like this. It's a work in progress. You know, don't salt like you did the stern. No, no. I'm trying to cut violet some slack. So, OK, here we go. Is an audio given in London, this was as you do this lower Ukraine launched into what you noticed. And I'm like. And then what happened? Oh, you know, ocean wars actually is on point. Yeah, all right. And that doesn't sound good at all because the gingivalis Edwards isn't, you know, he's literally sounds and looks like a Bond villain, but he's the good guy. And he was a comedian, which he was not a comedian, a Jewish comedian. Isn't that crazy? I never heard of such a thing. It's crazy. Jerry, what do you think of this Jewish community? Well, what is he doing? So Jerry Seinfeld, by the way? Yeah. Okay, good. Come on. I'm sorry, I don't know. I'm out of touch and I get yelled at a lot. Like all your impressions, you're so out of touch I'm like, I'm sorry. I also grew up loving Eddie Murphy. Who did you know the honeymooners from his, you know, from 30 years ago or not, even when he, you know, let Willie when he was watching reruns of Hollywood? So it's like, I hate that point when people go, you got to stay current. It's like, how? But just be funny. And if it's a funny voice, it's like the current president is not this guy. Ed, I'm going to do it, but I'm not going to stop doing it, and we're going to end very badly. We're going to do terrific. We're probably going to win more bigly than anybody, and it's going to be a big Wigley and we're going to do better. And I've got a lot of people on my side who is the guy that's gay. All right. Listen, I got something that Violet's going to be all over. And we're going to take a quick break. You know, Marion, and she's going to dive right into this next. Okay, so this next tick dance, everybody knows this subject, and we'll do it right after this. Oh, really? Love these guys? Here's my tip. It's raining out here hard. Do those wiper blades do not? It's very dangerous if it's raining and you got old cracked blades. Get yourself some new ones at O'Reilly. Oh, rewards bonus points month at O'Reilly auto parts. Shop in store or online. Get points and rewards sent straight to your phone or your inbox. You can get two, three or even four times the bonus points on select purchases to get you to your next reward. Even faster, receive a $5 reward for every hundred and fifty rewards points. And if you're already an over awards member and not receiving the rewards, just add your email or mobile phone number and get a $10 reward just for updating your existing account and you sign up. And it's quick and it's easy. Just go to O'Reilly Auto NAICOM O'Reilly Auto Gqom or do it in a store. That's an O'Reilly store. Hi, this is Chris Howard, host of plug in Chris Howard. I'm here to tell you better. What is your number one source for sports betting info, stats, news and analysis? Get the latest news and information for pro and college basketball heading towards the tournament and beyond. If you're a fan of U.S. anime or NHL hockey, the middle line is the place to go for those iMore. If you love sports info and podcast, you can find those all that bit online. We're always the fastest and easiest way to get your betting info. Head to the website today or use your mobile device to learn more and check on all the latest sports action better than where the game starts. Thinking of a city break experience Dublin inside and out at Clayton Hotels with perfect locations, you can squeeze in big attractions and then stretch out in our heavenly signature beds. Savor the city's c**ktail of culture and sip on our famous c**ktails or simply enjoy late nights out, followed by late breakfast in bed. Save on every room every night when you click on Clayton R. Clayton, Hotels.com, TS and CS apply. In celebration of Jim Carollas upcoming 90 second birthday, here's a list of 92 things Jim Carolla has never done. Number twenty 23 caught or released of fish, just one of ninety two things. Jim Carolla has never done. Let's get back to the Adam Carolla show. All right, guys, all of you. 58 52. So this is why the young 30 year old over here. Well, while it's going to be an expert in this next topic, here we go as a math now. But I know I used to be an accountant. Really? Yeah. And you look like an accountant every time you look at me. Look so porn. No, that's not true. And I said math and you said finished and I call it porn. So when you get the when you're finished, when you're almost finished, you get the line of like, imagine if they had that in porn. That's a connection me to my comedic mind, as they do with your looks, although they're, you know, they're nice. True. Anyway, did your own taxes to you? No, actually, I don't. But she sponsored by TurboTax, huh? All right. So, so listen, I have a thing. It's it's it's driving me nuts. I'm running into it in all facets of life. I am angry at the food selections we make as as human beings. I was yelling about it on stage last weekend, which is my writer said, Am I right? You know, light beers and water nuts make us nuts, but they do right. But they keep they keep bringing unsalted, mixed nuts, which tastes like s**t. But nobody cares. And I don't know why there's an option. And then I go back to the hotel room and I want to make myself a cup of coffee. And there's three decaf and there's no regular to make in my hotel room. And I'm like, This drives me nuts. It drives me nuts. If you go on, if you go on production sites, they'll do lunch. They'll someone will make a run to the Quiznos, some sandwich shop, you know, and they'll get a box of beef sandwiches. They'll get a box of turkey sandwich and then there's a box of veggie shops and then you'll go, What's the veggie sub? Sure, on the go. So I think the make up ladies are vegetarian or something. She's not here, by the way, but it's a whole box. It's the ratio. It's like we have 20 beef, 20 turkey and 20 veggie, and there's one vegetarian. And even the vegetarian doesn't want the f**king horrible veggie salad because that's just salad in between carbs and it's the f**king worst. And I go work the ratio out, you know, like, we got to get three, three and three. They do it. I was just it up. Taco party there and I say that three poor no. That one was beef. One mistake. You made your own tacos. The other was pork or fish. I can't remember. And then the other was chicken. I showed up late. All the good s**t's gone. There's a huge pile of dried chicken, and that's my taco offering because no one ever really works it out like they go well, some people like chicken or some people don't eat red meat who there's eight people at this f**king party. Give me a f**king name. Everyone who likes steak more than chicken, every hand would go up. You made that order chicken. That's all there. All right. There's a there was a donut atrocity, war crime, abortion going on in the next room. And I've yelled this a million times. Oh no. Did you see those doughnuts in the next room? Yeah. Mike Lynch, you here made sure to grab me before I came into the studio and show me that one donut is a Captain Crunch Donuts Captain Crunch on top. The other one is a fruity Pebbles donut. Now what happens inevitably with donuts? All right. Let's first figure out the crowd. The crowd are not nine year olds with autism. Their average age of the dude in that next room is forty seven and four months. That's I did it. I got everyone's name. I crunch the numbers. Forty seven four months, three days. That's all. They all get every lot references, every shout out your microphone. That is the age of them in all college education. Yeah. All educated, all white, all in their forties. But the person who gets the baker's dozen of donuts just goes. Just give me like two of everything. So you get the good stuff. You get the buttermilk, you get the old fashioned, you get the cake one, but you get two, two and two and then you get to rip. Taylor jacked off on to this donut, and that is the frosting. You get the pink jimmie's and the purple icing. And then what? My references are old whip. And then what happened? Now here's the real insidious part. Yeah. Oh, it's the same. Not up to the it's the same thing that happens with the f**king veggie subs, and it's the same thing that happens with the trail mix at some point. All the good donuts go first. They're all gone. And then there's just the fruity Pebble donuts that are left. And at some point, because riders are more animal than than man. At some point after about five and eat five in the afternoon, someone will pick up one of those. They'll pick off some of the fruity pebbles. They will eat it the same way the veggie subs will eventually, so it'll open it up. They'll put some cheese on there and they'll move some of the lettuce and eat. And then the message, the message to the insane person who bought the donuts is, I guess. They like them. No, they did not like them. They just eight, it's the See's Candy Box. Eventually, we'll get to the weird s**t, the dark chocolate with the toothpaste in it. We'll do that. But but eventually, yeah. Don't get the mixed batch. f**k it. These are adults. These are for you. I just want to know this. This is a Casey Kasem level tirade, but about donuts and lettuce. It's a it's about it's about is my f**king veggie pizza. What is bothering you? And we get to the coffee. It's all the f**kin creamer that tastes like French vanilla and no real cream. Stop, everybody. Nobody wants these f**king donuts. What are you doing? And is it all just visual for you? Like, I can get the most shiny s**t on top of a donut. Like, why don't you hot glue some pennies or some nickels or something on top of it? That's shiny. Abbas would go for that. Jesus f**king Christ. And then so what? What ends of people's pick around it? They eat around it. But the cake, the cake always goes first, then the buttermilk. And then there's the other 18 doughnuts that nobody really wants. But eventually they get to it and then everyone gets fat, but not satiated thoughts. So did you write a letter or what did you do? Chris, you've been around me for a long time. I don't. I don't buy donuts anymore. I just don't do it. And they go, Well, that's what they put in the box and I go, do that. Then you pay, you get shootouts out and you pick the donuts out. You adult male, pick the donuts out. OK. Not to be that person. Oh yes. Oh, here it may be that person. That would be the donut that I would pick the fruity pebbles. OK, now you have to eat it. I would do the cap. I want you to cut it. I would love to have somebody bring it in. Maybe Oliver, I will eat them right now. Captain Crunch Donut, are you? Well, f**k. And Ian's Roland High is a f**king Kyra. Do you need to box at this point? He's banked out of his mind with his marijuana, cigarettes, hashish, oil, but I you the number one doughnut here would be the Captain Crunch. 100 percent. Yeah. That's what happens when you pop an edible at eight forty three in the morning and Williams is on his way right now. But yeah, it's I still don't understand what are you angry about? Whoever bought that was spent trying to do their best, they were just trying to please people with the donut, but they can't do their best. They have to do my best. Oh, for f**k's sake. Yes, that's right. It. Oh yeah, please don't. All right. All right. I'm vexed. You're telling me that Captain Crunch donuts been here for two hours and no one's gotten into what you're saying. You think it'd be gone purposely now. This is crazy to stop. Oh, and who? Who are the brand? Is it a bakery or is this a slam dunk? Duncan doesn't make this stuff. Yeah, I don't know. Hmm. Drop it right. I love it. It's dry, so dry. It is a dry, dry doughnut is good. All right. What else is in the news? Oh Jesus, God damn Christ. I'm not saying anything else I want because you guys may have it. All right. Favorite favorite donut. We got we got a pecking order. Oh, favorite your favorite. The whole thing. Now I can't eat it. No, you can't. I didn't touch it. Violet. If he touches violet. Favorite favorite taco. Oh my favorite taco. You're mocking, you're knocking. Just don't talk. This is not OK. That's good. Now I'm not. It's it's it's terrible. Yeah, I will. I will not. I will not insult the palate. Just picking the cereal. You like cereal that you know what? You're. Yeah. All right. What about the donuts? They're just covered with like pink GMOs. What is a Jimmy Sprinkles sprinkle? Yeah, I like the gloss Los Angeles glaze. Yeah, like glaze. Yeah, I love candy. I'm like a child. Do you like the cake? I don't like the ones. No, I don't like those cake doughnuts. No call. No, I don't like those. I get it, I get it, I don't know any of the people here. I only like the doughnuts you like. I'm just like tacos. I like to go, Yeah, I want a. But don't have choice. Yeah. Boston Cream, the cream in the side and custard is pretty good, but all right, with the chocolate top notch, the powder cake are raised. What are those choices? Cake is like the thicker cake one and raises like the fluffier or like a buttermilk, like a like that denser versus a raised. I'm going to go with a raised four hundred bucks. Why is this crisis? Well, I f**king hate it. Yes, pre-screened for the cake, it's the fastest cake, the bakes, the best and buttermilk dressing, especially if you dunking. Right? You can't dunk this show your coffee. You're right. It's a it's a it's a it's going to be like that Ohio train wreck. If you dump this s**t in a coffee like, there's not enough hazmat teams to clean it up. I'm not picking a food. I'll eat whatever. By the way, is there nothing going on in the world that we should be talking about? I was in Oh, you can get back to Casey Kasem club from 1979. Mr. Mr. There's important things to discuss with all of its subjects. I do want to talk about something since obviously have two amazing successful comedians here, and I just want to learn as much as I can. Go ahead. What do you guys do if you ever bomb Assad? Do you kind of try to pick it up after it? I've heard of some comedians purposely bombed, sometimes just so they can pick it up and and get the crowd back. That's a guy telling, you know, that was a purpose. I like doing the lyrics so that I plan that song. No, you have to lean into the bomb. You have to. It's the elephant in the room, so you have to address it. You have to, you know, by the way, speaking of Johnny Carson, he did that the best when a joke wouldn't hit. He would just do that. OK? You know, just OK, I guess, you know, and you have to acknowledge that you're bombing and then you work your way out of it. You go to a bit the, you know, it's going to do well if you ignore it or you get nervous. I always tell like new comedians or anyone that's nervous. I go, the more nervous you are, the more nervous the audience is, the more relaxed and fun you're having, the more relaxed and funny that you project, whatever energy is going to be brought back to you. So you have to just chill out. You can't be nervous because that will ruin everything. Yeah. So once you bomb, you get nervous and dry mouth. You know you got to lean into it. Acknowledge it. What's your what's your take on it? I never I've never been, yeah, exactly what's bombing. I know. I do not I do not bomb very often, but maybe it's because I don't do it enough to the bomb and I usually do it sort of in front of my crowd, you know, so it's it's harder to bomb. I think you definitely have to point it out and kind of make fun of it. And and the audience will be a little uncomfortable with the bomb. And then if you make a joke about it not working, you know, I swear to God, if you could, you could tell a joke and bomb and then you could make some comment like, Well, that's coming off the set list. Or, you know, they're not all that won't be on the 930 side. They're not all 10s. If you know what, they will laugh every single time because they're almost feel bad. It's a really it's like there's a lot of laughter at a funeral. If people are very pent up and anxious and upset and then somebody makes a joke or something, there's always an eruption of laughter that far outweighs the joke. Like, it's a much bigger because it's a pent up sort of. Steve Martin said that in his book that every laugh is just sort of pent up tension and then the release of that pressure. Right? But here's my question How did you do an hour? I could just refine because I was in front of my audience. My people are starved. That's what I think. What were you talking about for an hour? Oh my gosh, I don't know. I blanked out just anything. What was your was your opening line? My opening line. I don't even remember. I wrote some of it that morning. What's your best joke? Your favorite joke? I genuinely don't, because every time I just write something new, but recently, it's not a good thing. Yeah, I know. So I'm just figuring this out. So this is one of the things that's very new to me that I'm so fascinated with other people in this. So my agent recently told me to start going to perform in front of other comedians. Only five minutes set and it's done comedian night at the Hollywood Improv. So it's literally people who don't give a s**t about me and the opposite of my audience. Does Don told you to do that? Is down to the f**king dog, his dad on the phone, and last time I did it, I bombed because my jokes are more for women and it was about dating and I kid you not. I was bombing and it was. And it was good for me to experience that because I haven't experienced that. So it was I didn't get to react the way I should have, which would be, you know, to make fun of myself that I kind of froze and I kept going with my jokes. And I was like, for f**k's sake. And then I try to make some stupid, racist joke. And then I was just, you know, how racist say this? And that's by the way, I'm not racist, I promise. And I was just like, silent, just laughing at myself. And I was just like, it was so f ing awkward. And I was like, f**k this, I have dinner plans. I'm going to go. So, yeah, that was a good experience, but I'm just going to keep coming back because I've daddy issues. So if you know a girl with daddy issues, I mean, you keep coming back. You work it out either in therapy or standup, but you have something that Adam and I don't have. Look, Regina, though, like, you know, you have like, you have these good looks. So it's like I said, actually, I feel like it goes against me 100 percent in comedy I started with Sarah Silverman is always just adorable, beautiful, and she would get up there and people don't know that name. It's your sister in law and your ex sister. And people would just be like, Oh, like, Oh my God, she's gorgeous. And and we would talk about, like, you just have to get past that. You have to know that's going to be like Steph Younger. You look her up on anything. Tick tock. Whatever's blowing up all over the place. She's gorgeous. She just did the Orpheum Theater with me. Last week we did the chosen comedy festival and I said to her, again, Forget your looks, you're a comedian tonight. And because she's just genuinely funny, she's like a funny person trapped in a gorgeous person's everything. Yeah, it's really hard, to be honest, but you have to forget, you have to forget that and you have to know in your head, Yeah, the audience is going to be taken aback because they're used to goofball looking dudes like us. And when you show up, it's like, Whoa, what's this? And then the women are threatened like, are you staring at her? And the guys are. She's like comedian. She is that Steph? Yes. Brilliant. Brilliant. Look her up. She has the best. I know, I know. She knows she. She's from Miami. The Fotuaika. Yeah, I am she. She does impressions. She impression is pretty funny. Yeah, she's a genius, but she looks like that. So she gets on stage and everyone's just like, Whoa, yeah, and you have to plow through that moment and be funny immediately, because then they'll just be like, Who's this hot chick? The second, you're funny. By the way, audiences in general, what is it? Seven seconds eight. So it was a comedian. What do you know the other comedians writing their jokes? That's the that's the audience he's making me go against, which is everybody worrying about their own set? Yeah, yeah. And I didn't plan so tight black dress. Are we talking makeup tonight? Yeah, at the improv. When we come on an open mike, are we talking about some side room as a side room and the. And the lady from the improv, the one, the books you, she writes, the notes for me to tell me how I can be better. So they go, yes, or some notes. But is it an open mic or is it something else? I'm trying to think I don't know it. Just a bunch of it's a side room, so it's a bunch of other comedians and they're discussing jokes normally. Can anybody do? The audience are all comedians be traditionally like an open mic. They would call it right. Yeah, OK, maybe I'm I guess I probably was on Wednesdays. I don't know. Want know, but that's true. Yeah. Maybe it's something she gives me notes. Mm hmm. What were some of her notes to just go into my jokes more and sort of switching off to different topic and then jokes are important? She said It's important that I can introduce myself to people were more aware of why making certain jokes? Yeah, who you are. You are. So that was really good. Your background, the whole Russian thing lived in Israel. I think I'm going to focus on that, especially because I know female comedians a lot of times. The thing that goes against them is the fact that they may lean towards sex jokes. So, yeah, I want to stay away from that. But my jokes were about, I kind of came on stage. I was dressed in a tight black dress because before my dinner, I'd like full on makeup and I was in heels doing your racist jokes. And I come on, I'm just like, I don't. I don't. I'm not into casual sex. Here's why I'm like, I'm never f**k anyone in this room. And I mean, these jokes, of course, I was like, f**k you, right? You know, I'm an idiot. So I was one of the nerds. Too many Phil Collins references. Yeah. When did you start doing standup and why? Why? No, I'm like, What was the light bulb that went? I want to do that. Well, I think of it was kind of just something to try something new. I've always been just this awkward kid, so I've always just made fun of myself, and this is just something to try and test out. And yeah, it's it's crushing for your ego, but it's good. I mean, it was nice to bomb because, I mean, I cried about afterwards and I got over it. And you know, it is an easy crutch, always like, what do you do voices? I'm sure you do like Russian accent. No, I don't need you to be behind social media and to stick to your fans, so I'm trying to do the opposite. But when I tell you when you're on stage, oh, I got a bit for the two year, Oh, go ahead, Mr. and Mrs. Zelinsky. Oh, let's try that. Yes, you do. You could do a Russian accent. No, I can't. Yes. All right. Here we go, Mr. All right. So Mr. and Mrs. Zelensky are at a Olive Garden and Alhambra and. I want a divorce. You know, we're getting it. Part of me is young. This to still in logistics. I have a basket of unlimited breadsticks for you. Yeah, I'm Mike. I'll be your server. She loves it was. It wouldn't listen. You didn't even imagine what the government needs you to help for three years. Wouldn't is what agencies, you know? You know, look, I want a divorce, but so is anyone want an iced tea and Arnold Palmer or something from the bar? I can get you before we order. We should take this act on the road. Great. I had it going. We almost there they are. You had a guy who could do that. Yeah, that could be me. Can open for porn. All right. Real quick. Yeah, this is Mr. Mrs. Lansky. Yes. Yes. At an airport? Yes. Arguing. All right. What you have with your voting business or I have no school, but you're the one the boarding passes, you have to. What are you doing? What are the kids? We have kids. We forgot the kids at home again. Well, they're so stupid. Whose kids are these? You'll be a Russian hoarder. You don't even know who the father is. It's sort of dad. It's my father's. Yes, sir. All right. Anyway, found so surprising. I don't know why you guys didn't lean into that man and more. It's a it's a it's perfect. It's comedy. How about Donald and Melania? We do that. Are you ready? No. You know, I've got I got a bomb and we're looking very closely at a running mate by the name of candy. And we're going and he's not very friendly to the Jews. And I've got a Jew daughter and very little Jewish grandchildren, and I've got to make a choice between creative idea and what to do. Can we talk about something important? You always bring these hard hitting topics that we get into. This is about donuts and f**king. This is ridiculous. Just trying to diet some kind of episode. By the way, these two devoured their favorite doughnut devour. While we're on that one, right, Barry? It's that one sad dry. That is cheese. It is so dry. OK. All right. Let's take a break. Well, I had it easy. You know, get all that. Yeah. Here we go. Tay, it's rough, you know? I got no respect. No, what I mean? You know who that is by any chance. Halloween was rough, too. You know, I used to knock on people's doors and say, trick or starve to death. You know, we are nothing I tell you. We had no food, Rodney danger. All right. Let's say I did it, that guy. All right. But I'm sure you've seen his balls. Quick break. I'll do the need to have his balls out. Always. Oh, nice. Oh, did he wear robes that he would? I know, but I don't know. There's a thing. Oh yeah. You know that I'm just trying to tell her. No, I bet I didn't know it was a thing. Oh, the balls were always out. Rodney's balls? I know. So what happened was, as he was doing, were we on air still? Yeah. OK, good. He's doing a love line. You know this is important. Yeah, we're doing a love line. OK? The TV show MTV and Rodney was a guest for weed gang tape like four shows in a day, and he was like on the last show or the second to last or something. But for me, it was like, Hey, Rodney Dangerfield is, Oh, I know that guy. Wait, where's his vault right there? Right below my bro? Oh yeah. Oh no. Is that his thing? Is that a CGI penis? I don't think it's like a penis coming out of a vagina. That's an Audi, right? Hey, yeah, out there that we don't know. We have a problem with this show, which is you can't show the pictures in the middle of a story because then everyone starts yelling, Sorry, let's hear this what we do as we we go into a story, then we'll put a picture up and everyone goes, What? Yeah, sorry. Especially a penis doing. Yeah, OK, go ahead. Sure, you can do it after the story. All right, you're on the show. I'm host. You're hosting the show. Yes, I am the show. And Rodney Dangerfield is coming in and he's Rodney Dangerfield is a legend, so I often times I would just go in and talk to the guests before the show. Nice to see you. Thanks for doing this. Yeah. Say whatever you want. You know, I always just tell them it's a weird format. Some people get nervous. Others say you can do no wrong. Say what you want. So like, I walked in to his dressing room and he was sitting there with his f**king baton on again. I've done a million shows. I've never brought a bathrobe to a show. You might wear sweat pants and then change flip flops and then change, or you just dress and do it, which I would do. But he's lying there in a bathrobe, this nutsack dangling in the wind. And then I come in and I go, Hey, you know, Mr. Dane friendly and I'm a big fan. I just want to, you know, say, hi, thank you for coming. And he's like, Why? I'm like, I. I just want to say, Hi. Yeah, OK. I'm like, OK, all right. It's like a total dish. His balls are hanging out. All right. Anyway, I think I'm hosts the show. So thanks. Like, what are you doing in here? I'm like, I'm all right. It's my show. So then we we do the show, and at the end of the show and the end of the taping, the producers always run out with a cue card, and the cue card would say, You know, you go your name, you know, you go, Hi, I'm B-Real from Cypress Hill. Watch man, love line tonight, 11:30. And then there'd be one more where you'd go. I'd be real from Cyprus Shell. Watch me tomorrow night, 11:30 or something like you just get like three of those tickets. It's like in the Rodney sitting there and then I come running out the. Got to just say, I'm Rodney Dangerfield, be watching tonight, he's like, I got to get a haircut and any better, like we can just do it right now, like the cameras are rolling. We got the cue card. Just say, Hi, I'm Rodney Dangerfield. He's like, now I can't because I have to get my haircut. And they're like, Well, we just I'll just take 30 seconds is like now. He refused. I got a haircut. Haircut seemed like a weird. That's a weird excuse. Yeah, so weird out. You could reschedule a haircut. We're taping a promo for a TV show. Well, is there a barber in what we were talking about? Rodney Dangerfield doing was forty five seconds. Yeah, yeah. Barbers like you to be here at two thirty two thirty one. No, that was funny, guy. Nothing funny about tardiness didn't. While he was first of all, he was probably in a mood that day. Based on your encounter in the dressing room, I'm guessing he was in a mood. We all have our days. He was in a mood in his defense. He was nice to meet the few times I met him. But anyway, he whatever, maybe he just didn't want to be mean to me is Rodney Dangerfield. This guy is like a Toyota. Hey, Mr. Davis, I'll just have to say I got to shave my balls. Excuse me, I got to run. I got a barber waiting to shave my nutsack. And just, I want to thank you for coming in. That's all. f**k off. All right. Now, we'll take a break and we'll do some news right after this. All month long on Pluto TV's Stream The Biggest Tyler Perry Movies Free. What are your favorites like Madea's Witness Protection and Madea's Big Happy Family? Joy Tyler Perry as he goes on a couples retreat with Sharon Leal in Why Did I Get Married? Or Idris Elba and Gabrielle Union in the Tyler Perry directed film Daddy's Little Girls. Plus, Pluto TV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies and TV shows available on live and on demand. Download the free Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming now. Pluto TV drop in. Watch Free. Ideas are incredible and can transform our world. Actions are powerful and to make things happen. We believe they belong together. Deloitte is the world's largest professional services firm. We fuse ideas with actions, creating a powerful impact for business, society and the planet. 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