Transcript
Second half, Alonzo is going to hang with us, will play our annual mac and cheese lady. The best clip of the year for me. I will do the news as well. First, there's Geico. Do you own your ranch, your home? Sure, you do. And it can be hard work. You know it's easy bundling your policies with GEICO. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowner's or renter's insurance along with your auto policy. It's a good thing, too, because you have so much to do already around your home. Why not make it easy? Go to Geico.com, get a quote and see just how much you could save. It's Geico easy. Visit Geico.com today. That's Geico.com. As the days become shorter and the weather gets cooler, both can have an impact on your sleep. But there are things you can do to help keep you energized throughout the day, like drinking a glass of water when you first get out of bed. Turning on bright lights in the morning to help keep you awake. Keeping a regular fitness routine to help keep you strong. 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No. Well, actually, it turns out that he was embezzling funds from the business. Looks like he's going to do time for it. Oh, that's desperate. Yeah. Yeah, really, really dreadful, right? Ireland's edge. It's better, less bitter. Get the Fox B's Rocawear is a drink of words on a. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey, autumn driving north in Delaware and the sign warning, you got to see it. Come on, Eileen, your speed is up. Get it on, man. You can leave us a message at eight eight eight six three four one seven four four. Alonzo Bodden is hanging with us and we got our mac and cheese vid, which I hoping Alonzo seen. Or now I'm hoping he hasn't. You should be delighted we play this every single year and I completely and wholeheartedly agree with this woman because. Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving Thanksgiving. You need your turkey, you need a roast pork roast or beef roast or something or ham or something like that. You can then get your mashed potatoes, you got your candied yams, you got your green beans. And you know, if you want to start f**king around around the margins, once you've done about seven items, the stuffing that are just yes, when you look at the painting, Oh God, who's who's the painter painted the American experience or whatever. Oh, American Gothic, though it's a I'll think of it, not the farmers with the pitchfork. It's no, it's the guy he does all the settings. Sad that I forgot. Jasper Johns No. Everyone saves the house is the no. And everyone's going to hate themselves right now. I don't know why. I always have to be the smartest, dumb person in the room. You guys should be coming. It's it's a none hopper. Norman Rockwell, Rockwell. There you go. What the f**k is wrong with everyone should have said like a little boy standing on a total. Oh no, I'm not giving Norman Rockwell what? What was on the table when he painted that picture? What we have is watch cranberries and what have you. And if you're going to start getting into stuffing, you make stuffing. You do not add a bunch of pine nuts and cranberry skin and s**t. You just f**king make your your stuffing if you want to go. Once you lay down the turkey and the roast and everything else you want to go goose like Drew's wife will go with a goose. By all means, yeah. But that's not the main. The base. Yeah. This is a woman who did not get the mac and cheese that she wanted. She got the mac and cheese that they, you know, fancied up. Well, I remember the ingredient the omni tell you surprise. Oh, it'll be surprised. Oh, it's so horrible. Oh yeah, OK, we can. We can listen to it then. OK. So she put the macaroni cheese. You clean all this s**t by yourself. Julia Dejado nor me. I'm going to help you clean up. We told you don't put that she didn't microchip, but you insist on plenty. So since you all do things your damn way, we don't do s**t our way. Well, here it goes. They have to go to sleep while you clean up. All issue on Thanksgiving had Thanksgiving. We love you. But guess what? This s**t ain't fair, and we couldn't even get a DNA thing. McConkey. We got to wait. Go go. But he came in to make us some damn macaroni guarantee. But you decided to do some bulls**t. Do this thing about the internet. Don't fear me. No damn Thanksgiving. Don't use me email. Thank you. Spare me by your name. Cream cheese. Because no one else. We don't want that s**t. I'll ever get you the damn recipe. But you chosen to do so that that's Auntie Carmel. Love her. And out at Miami, baby tweeted. Y'all, please listen to my auntie snap. She was so mad because my cousin tried to make some macaroni yesterday with cream cheese and messed up the whole meal from Miami to Italy for some foolishness. Don't experiment. Don't experiment. Like, not on thanks. No, she's right. You experiment. That's on your own time with somebody. You got the gay couple coming over from the office or something. That's that's that's that. It's not when you make a little something for them, like if you're nice enough to make something different. Yeah, you don't. You don't hit the main table with, please. I've never made this macaroni. I'm going to be like, that would be like me cooking on. Like, I don't cook it. I don't know the first thing about cooking. That'd be like me bringing something to your house on Thanksgiving and say, Hey, I whip this up. Now's not the time. Here's what you have to do with mac and cheese. And in many of these items, whatever the version is of the Golden Corral, you do a better ingredients version of that, right? But it has to be the same. It's just a higher quality version of that. You do not do your own thing. No, you're right. And to your point, I can't even think of this. We did our Thanksgiving. We did our big friendsgiving on Saturday, and I had the turkey and the stuffing in the mashed potatoes and the green beans and whatever. And then once all that was covered, guess what I made, which was devoured the first thing? A traditional classic lasagna. And I put that on the buffet and we were like, this lasagna? Yes, it is. That is a good idea. It was really fun. Yeah, I think you need a grandmother involved like you got to run it by a grandmother. And if she doesn't approve, then it ain't coming in on Thanksgiving night. It's like I've been around. I've handled this book, you know, I mean, like, she knows instinctively what those basics are. And when you come in, say, cute, you know, I was online and I saw. She's like, really, there's nothing. First of all, what's Pinterest? There's nothing less broken than mac and cheese. Yeah. There's no reason to ever modify or even come near that it is perfect. So Adam, you're not going to eat my impossible turkey. No, it'll be impossible for me to devour that turkey. Well, did you hear about that? I tweeted that to Vinny yesterday. A lot of mold and bacteria found at the Impossible Meat Factory. I did hear about that story. All right. A follow up to the leaf blower story from 1998, which is we're talking about leaf blowers and how they've been outlawed in so Cal Los Angeles for a while. I guess coming on to twenty five years now. Wouldn't know it, but there was a problem. This was from January, February 7th, 1998. Los Angeles. The Los Angeles City Council banned Tuesday the use of gas powered leaf blowers, despite a hunger strike by gardeners who fear the ban will hurt their livelihood. The council voted nine to six to uphold the banned it originally approved 13 months ago. The ban was delayed while council and police worked out how it would be enforced. The measure now must be approved by Mayor Richard Reardon. Violating the ban can lead to a $100 fine, plus $170 in court costs. The ban allows neighbors to call police that they hear noisy blowers, make it and make a citizen's arrest, and have homeowners warned not to hire gardeners who use gas powered leaf blowers. Eleven gardeners said they will continue a four day hunger strike to protest the ban, which they said unfairly targets mostly Mexican immigrants. They also claim the ban will cause them to lose money if they have to use slower and less powerful methods to do their work. Supporters of the band, led by former Mission Impossible television star Peter Graves, said they knew it. I knew he was behind. That, said, the blowers are noisy and contribute to pollution. Graves and then Lord's work. Yeah, the ban exists that it's existed for twenty five years and so enforced, and it lets landscapers off the hook like, don't blame me, it's illegal. So that was January 7th, 1998. Fast forward almost an entire year. Your year in 1998 in review shows the brooms of gardeners symbolic of their protest of the ban on leaf blowers. The ban has turned out to be purely symbolic. No, all of the gardeners servicing homes on my street every resumed using leaf blowers with arrogance and impunity and panache. Watching those guys, they think their s**t doesn't stink. I got a breaks and strand strapped to their ass, and they're making 14 bucks an hour. OK, Your Highness reporting violators requires one to incriminate one's neighbors, which guarantees it won't happen. The politicians took credit because there is no one, but because there is no enforcement. Nothing has changed. Yeah, so here's what we do with L.A. We go, Hey, we have rules. We got a ton of rules. I don't. I don't like all the rules, but we got a ton of them. So we have a rule and the rule is no leaf blowers. But that is not enforced now. It's no leaf blowers because it's noisy and it pollutes and it's unhealthy, but fine. We don't do that. We also have a rule which is no drinking beer on the beach. Mhm. So one rule we enforce and the other one we don't. And my whole point and we have a thousand examples of those. My whole point is is either don't have the rules or enforce all the rules. Don't cherry pick your f**king rules. That's what makes Los Angeles a unique s**thole because they have tons and tons of rules. There's you must have a front license plate on your car that rules enforced vigorously. But the but it's not dangerous to not have a front license plate on your car, but that rules enforced vigorously. But leaf blower or not? But whatever it is you're doing on the beach is starting a fire, a campfire on the beach. Totally illegal. And there are probably say that it contributes to the air pollution or whatever it is. Same arguments you could make for the leaf blower. One is rigorously imposed and enforced, and the other one is not. So it's illegal. It's been 25 years. We won't enforce. And you know what else is possibly illegal but celebrated on the beach? Hmm. Living. Oh yeah, yeah. Big one lately. Well, you know that the leaf blower thing that law was written before we had the next door app, right? This is an app. So it's round now to Karen are like, Hey, I forgot leaf blowers. It's like, like, you're doing a disservice here, because now that's going to be one more thing. That's. In a blow up on next door, who's using the big gas powered leaf blower, who's using the electric lever where I live? The leaf blower is not a problem because we have the most efficient garbage trucks. These guys are six a.m. They are passing by and it's like, what time did you get to work? What's wrong with you? Like, can't you ease it about nine feet so they wake you up to get ready for the light? I was woken up by the seven a.m. garbage man today with articulating armor, her back and I am. Here's how I'm very serious about this, and I have lived in the Hollywood Hills under the Hollywood sign. I've lived in Lake Hollywood. I've lived in the San Fernando Valley, I've lived in Malibu, I've lived in Loch Yard, I've lived all over the place and the garbage is seven a.m. everywhere, but it can be seven a.m. everywhere. Somebody has to catch the two o'clock garbage truck, right? Because I don't know what sex is. I got the 6:00 a.m. guy. He stops at my place on the way to you. All right. Go by Boden's place. I swing by Carollas place every time I go by Sandler's place and wait, wait. I like wake up comedians. It is. It is the worst. I don't know how it's crack a f**k everywhere all the time, but it is. I've never had a noonish garbage man. And then which happened last night, is you get the anxiety the night before. It's 9:30 at night. You're a couple of glasses of wine, Indian like, Oh, f**k that guy showing up at 6:45 tomorrow I got to. I'm going to pack this. No, no. Oh, I got to pack up the garbage and get it down to the street. Now I'm actually setting my alarm for six 15. This is it. There is no oh, when I'm heading out at 10:00 in the morning, I'll just take the hefty bag with me. You know you do it then. Yeah, that night. And here's the other thing. If they don't do it, like when they say as a Monday holiday, right, and it's so they get backed up, it doesn't back them up till, like Thursday afternoon, it's like, Nope, we're just going to come Friday at seven and it's like, Wait a minute, couldn't you make up time with some afternoon pick ups? They're like, No, very good not to wait till tomorrow. Do to crack of dawn. I am the leaf blower law. If there aren't random laws like that, like you mentioned the license plate, I find it depends on where you are. Like, if you're in the West side, they're going to hit you for a front license plate. Oh, for sure. But like, if you're in Van Nuys, they're like, I got a hundred other problems. Besides, you're like, you could ask a Van Nuys cop, Hey, could you give me a ticket for a front license plate? He's like, Really? You think I got time for that? You know, so it depends on where it is. Very true. The rules change light like school buses and stuff, you know? Ever see when people go racing past a school bus? Like, do you have any idea like why that the line comes out, the lights flashing and all, you know? Yeah, yeah. I saw one of those yesterday. That's arbitrary where you are, what the rules are as you're whizzing past it. I would pay if you said to me if I bought a new home and he said to me, Your cell phone will work in every corner of this house and garbage comes Friday noon. I would go. Let's tack on another two hundred grand and I will pay it in cash. Wow. Because that is a that that paid life changer. Huge, huge dividends. I was woken this morning. I it never it never stopped. They must have a thing where they hit everyone between six and nine and then go to the landfill, I guess. But at some point they're going to be around two like they they have to come out at 1:00 in the afternoon. And but you'd never know it because you're working. You don't. You don't know. No, no, no. I'm a comic. I'm. That's true. Oh, trust me. So is there a second round? No, there. Well, he would know. They go on. They do him it. Yeah, they call the second round in the same neighborhood, right? I got to go. Go to van parts unknown. Yeah. I don't know how much you got to spend on your house. As far as the cell phone work in every room, in your house, you look at you watch your dreams. Yes, I know I cannot talk to Mike caucus unless he stands on an X in his entry hall. The second he wanders into his office, it's a choppy mess, which is, you know, what's insane about the cell phone? Just I talked to Dr. Drew a couple of days ago. He's out on vacation and I called him up and I said, Where are you? And he said, Casablanca. Oh ! And I said. Wow ! Clears about like a call, Mike August, who's in Orange County, can't f**king hear a word, he can't find a f**king word, that guy saying, Yeah, but Dr. Cruz in Morocco, I go, my Morocco clears up how it worked on a riverboat in Belize. My phone worked fine. I tweeted from there. You know, the head of the we say in brands on here. Sure. T-Mobile, he's he used to be on Twitter and he tweet from T-Mobile. And I tweeted him. I said, How come my phone works here, but not in Studio City? Like I would think Studio City Los Angeles would have more customers than a riverboat in Belize. Right. But apparently not. I mean, I guess we can marvel that Druse in Morocco, and I'm speaking to him claires about. But I would choose to focus on Mike in Yorba Linda, right? And not being able to have a cogent conversation with the man. Yeah, no. You're right. Where the hell are they? Because I thought they were in Portugal. They went everywhere and they went on a cruise. I've talked to them on the cruise ships at sea, and I and I might have thought long as as well. Is it you don't want to do it yourself before? That's true. Is it too late for me to be adopted by Drew and Susan because those kids live a wonderful life? Oh my God. All three. Oh, this cruise ship supposed to hold about 800 people, but there's only like 200 on it. And I don't know. I'll ask him when he gets back. But Morocco and Spain and all I found out, Morocco's just across the water from Portugal. Oh, well, there you go. I was in Portugal and they said, Yeah, if you go right over there, it's Morocco. And I was like, So we going like. What are you going to tell me that it's right there? But we're not going. But I'm such a doofus. When Drew said, I'm in Casablanca, and I was like. Egypt. That's how dumb I am, yeah, it's not great. Yeah, super dumb. Then again, you didn't know, you didn't know where load I was and you live here. That's true. I knew the song, but I did not know. All right. Let's see. We got the news. We got some tweets. Splaining. Let's see. Why don't we let me hit a spot? Oh yeah, good ranchers have any approved good ranchers. Great gift idea. Take away inflation for someone. Get a subscription to good ranchers during their Black Friday special, beef prices are going to go up 15 percent or more in 2023. But if you use my code, it'll get you a zero percent meat inflation all year long. Every subscriber locks in their price for the life of their subscription, plus their Black Friday sale offers. Right now, you can get two free 12 ounce Black Angus New York strip steaks and two free pasture raised chicken breast with any order with the code Adam. 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I think we're talking about Harlan Williams and there's the Jeff Ross and Ari Shapiro Irish affairs and the Sarah Silverman Wheel and Alonzo Bodden. That's right. That's right to that long list of people that are enjoying their lives and not having to subsidize people that don't appreciate it. Yeah. Well, I'm married to this. You know, I'm married to. I heard Lewis Black say that a long time ago, and I related the instant, he said. It doesn't mean never got married. I'm married to this s**t. Was like, Yeah, comedy. She doesn't like other women. She she doesn't like to share a fickle mistress catches you in a relationship. He's like, All right, let's see. You're going to be gone the next six weekends. And while you're in town, you're going to work 12 hours a day. Let's see how she likes that, right? And then she's like, Where are you? And it's like I was with comedy. That b***h I was with comedy. She she bought me a house on this stay with her. Oh my God, show, right? All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll come back with Alonzo and do the news right after this. Hey, Carol, a drinks fans. We've got a special anniversary coming up. November marks the 10 year anniversary of Man Greer to celebrate this milestone and more importantly, the support that the fans have given us. We're excited to announce each and every bottle of man and 33 wines during the month of November is ten dollars only. That's right. Head to Carolla, drink WSJ.com and get your bottles for only 10 bucks. The holidays are coming. Thank you so much for supporting us over the past decade. It really means the world to us. We love you guys. Happy holidays from all of us. Cold drinks islands Edge Stout is less bitter. Like Ian Hughes from Antrim. Ian. Well, my brother in law has this massive gaff. He's got extensions on the extensions he car company to rake in. And he was, yep, AYP. Bitter. Yeah, there's there's no need. There's no need. No. Well, actually, it turns out that he was embezzling funds from the business. Looks like he's going to do time for it. Oh, that's desperate. Yeah, yeah. Really, really dreadful, right? Ireland's edge. It's better, less bitter. Get the fox speed drink aware there's a drink of words on a. January 20th and 21st. The Adam Carolla crew is coming to Dallas, Texas. If you've been on the cruise, look at this as a land yacht working in blue and what is the equivalent of a drunken cruise on land? Dallas, Texas. That's right. Right. With Adam Carolla and John Popper. You any. Two days. Tons of fun live cod all do stand up, and we're going to do a screening of the Croc Dock. John's going to do musical performances. Yeah, I'm doing my job. It's going. Bring your tickets for the package, include hotel rooms, tickets to a live Adam Carolla show brunch with John and Adam, a VIP meet and greet, a special screening of the K Rock documentary and no seasickness, no sea sickness, possibly some vomiting. But yeah, it's your fault. And of course, the big event on Saturday night. Adam Carolla and John Popper at Dallas Echo Music Hall. Sounds really pretty beautiful. Place working blue with Adam Carolla and John Popper. Get your tickets now at Adam Girl. Come Incom. He was just this great geographic mix of geographic breaking viral, weird crime, protest politics, news media is watching out grass stuff mixology in the scene. Joe Biden coming up. Big news with Gina Gina. The news with Gina Crowe, Alonzo, I got a great cover for you. It's a saying I'm now moved by this. You're married to comedy. I got it. I got this because you used to be able to get get away with this. There was a job where you could f**k whoever you wanted whenever you wanted, and you never had to get married or have kids. That was if your mistress was the sea. Oh, sure, that it's all laid out in the song Brandy. Hmm. Oh, you got to find brandy brandy. It's laid out by Looking Glass in the song Brandy. Yeah, yeah, brandy. Come on. I remember the song. Come on. Jeannie worked at a classic rock stand. The five songs that should have been one of them. Not up to me. Oh, come on. There's. On the Western bank, oh, yeah. A hundred ships a day, get to the sailors. Has the time on what I'm talking. Their homes. Was a girl. In this harbour town, she works in Moscow. Hey, Chris Brown, you cover this s**t now. Come on, Sam, was still why the same team ran. Wow, you been. So you see it because a Chicago vibe. Yeah. Randy. Wears a braided chain made of finance. The spend a lot. The bears, the name of a man, the brand they love. She loves it there, the kind. On a summer's day. Gifts. But he made it clear. The current state. The home was his home. New and basic to my life, my love of my life. So Brendan is his mistress is the sea. Yeah. Now what you can do, Alonzo, is when the ladies get a little too clingy. You explain to them, your mistress is the C capital C for commie b***h and move on. That's good, right? Yeah. Yeah. You can use that. Yeah, OK, I'm a I'm a drop the b***h part. Oh yeah. Well, I'll put your own flavor on your own or w***e or whatever you wanna do. Yeah, because they like that. Yeah, yeah. But but you use your mistresses, the c yo b***h. You know my agent. Yeah, that's good. Well, mistresses, the C. Yeah, that's good. Well, there's a big birthday is celebrated over the weekend. President Joe Biden turn 80, making him the first octogenarian to serve as president and is once again faced with questions about whether or not he'll run again. Earlier this month, Biden told reporters I'm a great respecter of fate and this is ultimately a family decision. I think everybody wants me to run, but we're going to have to have discussions about that. The question of how old is too old has dogged Biden, polls have found even Democrats expressed doubts about whether he's too old for the job. An 84 year old presidential candidate and was, yeah, but if so, here's what we have to do with this, because I don't think it's right for presidents or airline pilots or Tom Brady. It's not what your chronological. Whatever it is, we need a punt pass and kick competition can. You can you produce? Sure. So if you can, you can. If you can, you can. I don't know how old Alan Dershowitz is. Alan Dershowitz may be 86 years old. You see him on those shows. He is rat a tat f**king tat like boom, boom, boom. He's citing precedent. He's talking about Supreme Court from 1962 of the brand, and he's for whatever thing he can be president at eighty four. Mentally, it's there. And then there's many. Who aren't there? Yeah. And it does get worse with age, but it's not really about how old it's who are we talking about the job? Norman Lear. It's 100 years old when Norman Lear was 84. He was on a sitcom, sat through punching up scripts, yelling at us like Norman Lear could do it at 84. Alan Dershowitz could do it at 84. Biden can, but I don't know that we need a number. We need a we need a test, right? I think. Well, OK, I'll go with a test. But I think there should be a number, especially with the president, because who do you relate to? You know, if you're 80 years old today, right? We have half our population grew up with cell phones, grew up with the India. You don't relate to that because it's not your era world, it's not your era. So. And the other thing is, you look at like what you said, there are certain jobs where, yeah, you got to pack it in, like, Listen, we love you. But you know, if you're an airline pilot, don't know 80 year old airline pilots, just like you're a great flyer. But you know what? Your site has deteriorated your food. Now you're right, there are some exceptions to the rule. Dershowitz a Brady this or that. But from what I've seen in politicians, not going forward with any of them being like, Man, you are an outstanding, you know, listen, I appreciate the service. I met John McCain in Iraq, you know, and it was like, Man, I appreciate you. But he was an old man. He was still a senator, but he was a little old man and it was like, Let it go, man. You've you've done your part. Let the next generation get a job. Our whole government is all these people in their late 70s and 80s. It's like, Come on, man, let the next generation like, you know, I'm 60, and if I walk in there, they're like looking spry. Look at the young guy, you know, I don't want to be in a room where they called me a sunny day. They might go with boy, unfortunately, but because they, you know, old school right there from a time where they could get away with that. We don't need that. I think there should be. And I think that's what's going to happen with Biden. I don't think Biden runs again. I don't know who's going to replace him. What? Because then you're looking at what him being eighty six, when he would leave? And that's the thing. Like, especially, I think, for both parties, young conservatives, young progressives. But I think especially young progressives don't want an 85 year old man in office. That's that kind of flies in the face of being a young progressive. You want that new blood. I'm with you and I. We have, I don't know, is it Dianne Feinstein out here or yeah. And nobody even knows how old is Dave? She doesn't know. Nobody knows. And reports are she's not coherent so that her staff doesn't hold. That was the same thing when she's eighty nine, eighty nine and people are like, no one's heard from her for three years. And evidently she's having issues communicating Strom Thurmond like 100. Thurmond was 4000 years old. Yes. Yeah. You know, Pelosi, they're like congratulating Pelosi for stepping down at 80 years old. It's like spring chicken. Yeah, look at, you know, I I completely agree, but I will still say, if you can pass the Punt Pass and kick competition, then fine. I'll say the same with the airline pilot. If your vision is good, if your reflexes are fast, if you can snatch the pebbles from my hand grasshopper, you can fly. But we're going to test you every year. I've said the same thing, and I've gotten a lot of s**t for this about a driver's test for when you're whatever 75 people I love in my life would have to take it. Understood. I'd have to take it. God willing, I live that long understood. Don't you think there should be another driver's test at a certain age? There is. Are you sure? Yeah. In California, I say nobody in my family is taking it is in California can look it up. But in California, I think once you get to a certain age, you have to renew every couple of years with a driving test. Well, whatever it is, they need you to do, they need you to do it more frequently than when you're 17. Probably the eye chart. Yes, there's something. There's something there. Here's another question I have that I don't understand. Wouldn't you want to retire? Yeah, very nice. You're 80 years old, right? You these politicians, now you've been ripping off the system for the last 50 years. They show they all have millions of dollars stashed away somewhere. They got the big house. That is that at some point, wouldn't you be like, You know what? I don't want to go to work today. I want to retire and enjoy this life like this. To me, there's nothing worse than you're. So you work so much that a month after you retire, you die because you have no life. Yeah, yeah, I left, you know, I mean, like, I joke comedians don't retire, but we cut back, you know, I mean, like when Rickles was 86, Rickles wasn't at the improv three times a month. You know, you pick your butt. Enjoy yourself, you won at some point, I think I hope to be able to say, Hey man, I won, like, I'm cool, I'm going to go out and do some benefits. I'm a go down to Florida and work the retirement circuit here and there, and then I'm going to play with my dog, man, just kick back, you know, just I know I'm I'm with you. But I guess when you're the president, you have a life, you know, versus working at the Postal Sorting Center and our leader, California, you know, you get used to a certain lifestyle. Sure. And I could see that one being hard to give up. Yeah. But you know what, when you're the president, once you've made it, you don't give it up. Yeah, you get it for the rest of your life. Now, the rest of your life, you get playing. Time is a richer and bigger celebrities, and the Obamas did it right. They got out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's 65 million dollar advances and toast of the town. Or you're like Jimmy Carter. We're like, Yeah, I'm not going to die. So I'm just going to enjoy this forever. Like he's an he's another one. He's Jimmy Carter has been building houses for humanity for what, 40 years now or something like that. My only four since the seventies. So at least, yeah. Yeah. And I always feel bad for Jimmy Carter because he gets lumped in. So whenever people are complaining about Biden, they go. Then Biden, look at him. He's a train wreck, he's a cognitive mess. He's running this country off a cliff. Not since Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter should be sitting home watching TV, going to get lumped into this. I've been out since nineteen, seventy f**king six or eighty. I guess he got out and he's been out for forty five years and he's like, And there's got to be a part of him that's going, Yeah, yeah, f**king Biden. Yeah, he's the worst. He's the worst. He's the worst. That's right. He's got the crown of the worst. And then someone goes. Not since Carter Carter is probably sitting there with Rosalynn, and they're just Carter's never going to die. He's going to shrink. And hell, there's nothing left. But he. He looks like a ventriloquist puppet now 98. There's an there's an insane picture, I think Chris with him and Biden and Jill Biden and Rosalyn. And it looks like. Yeah. Ventriloquism mistake. Yeah, they said it was sort of a. They said it was like the angle of the pictures, like, no, that's a tiny man. That's a little tiny man. Yeah, there's no angle that can make Alonzo Bodden look like he was three foot nothing, right? It's a crazy picture. Have you ever seen that show? I think Biden, Joe and Jill went to visit Roslyn and Jimmy, and oh boy. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, there it is. Now what are you seeing in this picture? Now we should all hope to make it to 98. Well, the unfortunate part is the way is not really the Carters, it's the Bidens. So the Carters are each sitting on a separate chair. Just kind of, you know, God love them, but like shrunken down into the cushy chair. Jill and Joe are flanking them on either side on their knee like you would sit a ventriloquist on your knee. Yes. And so I do see how people could come to that conclusion that they're being operated by the Bidens. I made that up. Well, bob, a point. This is a crazy idea. Sure. I get it. It's there. Maybe there's a little optical illusion, but there's just some poor, poor choices in general. Yes, especially with poor Roslyn. I know miniature. Well, let's get back to everybody's favorite thing that the president does, because there's really nothing going on in the world. So it's always a great time to pardon some turkeys. We do that just in time for Thanksgiving. They always do it. This is chocolate and chip, and they'll live out their days at the North Carolina at North Carolina State University, where Biden explained that one of the best poultry science departments in the country. Let's take another look at Biden's official pardon. First of all, the votes are counted. Verify the no ballot stuffing. There's no foul play. The only read way this season season's going to be a German Shepherd commander knocks over to the cranberry sauce. Our big, big applause. Mm hmm. There are big turkeys. Aren't my fellow Americans? Please welcome the 2022 National Thanksgiving turkeys, chocolate and chip. Oh, do we have those for Biden? I know you love the man. No, thanks to a corn poppers here right now. Take care of that chocolate chip right now, man. I'll tell you what man do I know this is a tradition. I feel like it's got to be at least. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of taxpayer money, like every tied up in the line lawn and and security, and God knows what you have to do with the perimeter and blah blah blah. Get the turkey then. Would we do this during wartime? For instance, did we? Let's see. I bet we did. Yeah, I did. What year did this start? Desert Storm and. Yeah. Well, I'm basically a little more World War Two. Oh, OK. Maybe some Vietnam, like, did we ever scrub like 911 wasn't too far away from Thanksgiving? Like, was it ever inappropriate? Was it ever a not a good use of the president's time? Sort of too flippant for the time? Yes. Given the climate, that's a good question. I'm but no, I bet we never skipped it. What year do you think this started? Who? I'm I don't. That's a good question. I have no idea. Well, let's see. Can we see Kennedy doing this? Christine Nixon doing so? Let's say it started in middle 60s. 1964 could be 65. Yeah, it doesn't feel 40s. It feels good vibes. 60S. So you think later 60s? I'd love to see Nixon doing this. I could see Kennedy doing early 60s. Kennedy Johnson maybe might be the guy who did that. And then everybody was like, Oh, it's nice. Truman was the first in 1947, so wow. Right after World War one or two? Sorry, after World War Two, they began it, which makes sense. These are good times. Yeah, time to celebrate as a nation, a chicken in every pot. And did they ever miss a year because of Korea? Vietnam nine 11. Trying to think of what other possible tragedies that befell our country? And again, it's I mean, all wars are abroad for us. But yeah, it didn't. Even though Truman was the first one to do the first guy to do it, he wasn't a tradition every year since then. Oh, so like, Reagan did it in three. Three of his years of Clinton did it seven times. He didn't do it in '95 for some reason. So no bush is pardoned turkeys. George W. Bush definitely part. So, yeah, yeah. He loved down here. Yeah. And then after George W. Bush, everyone was doing it every year. I remember when Obama pardoned macaroni and cheese. So, yeah, oh no. I was going to say so under random facts. I just read that there's a wild turkeys in New England are like everywhere, like terrorizing people. Taking like turkeys are mean, like my, my brother, they they were up on Martha's Vineyard and there were turkeys in the yard. And then he brought his dog and his dog had like, it was like a lab. He had never seen turkeys. And it took off. He said, Yeah, we haven't had a turkey problem since dogs don't like the turkeys. Got to say yes, avoid that house. But yeah, they were aggressive birds. They're they're impressive. All birds. We just talked about this. Birds that weigh six ounces are grass fed person weigh 40 pounds are just that. They're just aggressive, but they're bigger. There was a turkey. Chris, I don't know if we ever looked up this story. He can look it up on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City. There was a little store that was by the river, by the L.A. River to wash the wash as it goes down there from my childhood that sold like pottery back there. And they had a guard turkey guy at a guard turkey. And if you walked up on that place, that Turkey would shoo you away like you. I remember walking up on it a few times when I was a kid and just kind of wanting to check it out. But the turkey was mean. The turkey would go after anybody that walked onto the property, and it was ostensibly a guard turkey. Wow. George W. Bush made it tuition. I would assumed it was a tradition before that. I could see him being and actually, yes, outside the courtroom. In fact, he was presented a turkey, but he was incorrectly credited for pardoning officially. The first one on record to pardon it was Reagan. Hmm. I don't think you think George W. Bush had to stop Cheney from killing the turkey. Like that was the pomp of the shotgun behind him. Let's talk, Banksy. So street artist Banksy is calling on people to specifically shoplift at guest clothing stores in London, and he has a reason the performance artist has accused the store of stealing his work without his permission. So he's calling on people to do the same to them. And we have a picture, he wrote in his Instagram post. Attention all shoplifters. Please go to the gas on Regent Street. They've helped themselves to my artwork without asking, how can it be wrong for you to do the same to their clothes? Banksy claims that gas has. Been featuring his designs on their clothes. A company spokesperson doesn't deny lifting the artist's work, but says it's a way for fashion to show its gratitude to the artist. Smooth spin but there's laws, I would think. But is it? Is there a difference when you can't pin down who the artist is like? Nobody knows who he is. His agent knows who he is. That's true. If you want to see a Batman, right, if you wanted something, Banksy, because you can buy the art, right? So there's somebody right who's connected nutty. This is one of those things where I guess it's like you picked the wrong guy to piss off like that because the world loves this guy. The world loves Banksy. Any Banksy says, Yeah, rob this specific star. They're probably empty right now. They probably have nothing left. Yeah. You know, people these days don't even need a prompt. They just do it anyway. So, yeah, but he he's loved you. Some people, you don't cross. You don't want Banksy. Is there? Is there a difference between copywriting of a Monet painting and like street art? Like, if you're already, you've already made the concession, this is for the people that's best for this is art for the people on a public wall. Put it up on barriers on construction sites or something. Then then does gas get to go, Oh, that's public domain? Yeah. Why do I feel like I've sold, made a painting and sold it for a million dollars? A good question. I don't know. Yeah, obviously he doesn't have a legal angle here. Banksy, I don't think he would have sued them, right? But he if that's the case, if it's like you said, OK, I painted it on the wall, it's public domain. Then if you put it on a T-shirt like he says, OK, now the T-shirts public domain, like if it's public right to take it, then why are you charging for your store? To some, you know, shop or to walk in your store and take it? You can't claim it. That's like claiming, like, what would it, LeBron? Try to license Taco Tuesday? Yes. And they were like, No. Like, nobody's licensed it, but nobody can license, you know? Right? So I think if Banksy paint something on a wall, you could take a picture of it and you might put it on your own T-shirt. What about mass producing selling? About Che Guevara? Like, who pops up on all the college kids T-shirts? Is the Guevara family licensing thing that I think once once it's been done. I mean, I don't know the laws, but there's a certain amount of time you can own something and then it becomes public domain. Oh, interesting. Oh yeah. Well, that's what things are like. The songs are that way, right? Music is life plus 100. Yeah. Well, that's why Happy Birthday can now finally be played, right? That's, you know, to smile. Have a nice day. Oh yeah, the circle's like nobody. I don't think anyone owns that. I think that's yeah. I never thought about it. Somebody drew it in the 60s or whatever. And Forrest Gump does. If you saw the movie, right? That's true. All right. So it's funny it happens suggesting and then a lot of people show up and like, somebody gets hurt or breaks some glass and gets cut down on Banksy, and I think we'll probably find out sooner than later. So this I mean, yeah, ten minutes ago, Banksy had that. Painting go at auction is my favorite shredded itself. It was the best he had somebody had on his behalf, a remote and the portrait itself nobody knew was a paper shredder. And the second that gavel went down, the thing start shredding. People start losing their f**king mind. And then it was worth more. Yeah, and that was crazy. Now it's worth more. And I think the funny thing was, I mean, they're lucky, whoever bought it, that it stopped halfway because I think their story was based was like, I wanted the whole thing shredded. So now they still have this artifact, you know, because we're all paying for this story. So it's like Aaron Judge's 60 second or sixty third homerun ball to set the record for the Yankees. The guy turned down three million bucks for it. But if his homerun ball struck and killed the nun, it would be worth another five million bucks because it would be its more story. There's more story to tell. Well, that ball back. No, I don't. I don't think I would. Exhibit a what I would. What I've suggested on this show and lines that you tell me where to go along with this or not, you know, the ball leaves the ballpark. I like the tradition of the fans. Get it now, the fans, some ballparks throw it back. Other ballparks, they'll trade it in for some swag. So he's funny when the guy turned down three million bucks, but Yankees were going to give him to LoJack tickets and a jersey signed by Aaron Judge and a program that night like, all right, that's four hundred and twenty one dollars, but we're worth three million here where the value here. I. But there's also part of me that understands that maybe Aaron Judge would like that ball and maybe the Baseball Hall of Fame would like that ball. I would like to live in a world where if Aaron Judge, who's a multimillionaire, would like that ball, he can make a fair offer for it, like a like a like kind of like when the city goes, we need your land to build a freeway off ramp that can't take it. But they have to go. We have to give you a fair market offer for it, but you have to accept it. I will live in a world where that guy who gets the ball, where they consult a few sports paraphernalia for what I call a sports memorabilia. Yeah, memorabilia, guys. And they go. It's worth between 2.7 and 3.2, and they go fine, call it three million bucks. And then, Aaron, if you want first refusal, you got a check for three million bucks to give this guy. But if you don't, that's fine. He'll he'll keep it. Yeah, I think, yeah, I get what you're saying, and he could definitely afford that. I think it would depend what you said. Is he a nice guy like like if you meet Aaron Judge, like you got the ball and he's just a really nice guy and he wants the ball for his, you know, collection so he can show his grandkids or something. Then I'm like, Here, I take the ball. But but if it's a business or it's something like that, you know, it's like, Yeah, I give it back. And I don't know if if I'm in this situation, I heard somebody say, Listen, you didn't lose three million bucks because you didn't have three million to begin with. So just looking at it now, it's like Aaron Judge, I give the ball. Barry Bonds. Nope, there appears to be a real nice guy by all all that I've seen in terms of interviews and stuff like that. Also, Aaron Judge Owens, high def footage of him hitting that home run. Oh yeah, no. I get what I get what you say. And who knows, he might just say, like, you give him the ball in and he might just say, You know what? He has two million bucks because because I'm about to make $400 million. So. Yeah, the guy who got the ball is a millionaire, right? That's that's the rub, too. Oh, yeah, he's like a finance guy. Or we hope it's the poor inner city guy who's going to use it to turn it down. He's a finance guy. You take the ball from him. You're like, You know what? New rule? You can't have the ball he's got. If he's a Wall Street guy, no one likes you. Well, here's how you know, I don't I haven't checked the guy's tax returns, but here's how I know he has money. He turned down three million bucks. Yeah. So he went to the game. He had drank a few beers. He ate a dog, walked away with a ball, and somebody said, I'll give you three million bucks. And when you are a carpenter or a roofer or a plumber and someone offers you three million bucks for a baseball that you've just plucked up two and a half months ago, it's a miracle you take that money. Yeah, that's the fact that he said. Now you're signing, you're like, Well, you just don't have to cry for a little while. That's right, right? It's so funny. You said that just reminded me we watch this docu series on Netflix called Pepsi. Where's my jet? Hmm. Do you remember this was in the mid 90s where they were doing like points on Pepsi bottles? And if you got a certain amount points, you could get a leather jacket or get a whatever. And at the end of the commercial, it says for seven million points, you get this Harrier jet and one kid one guy took you get a ride and know it, said you. If you could pull the commercial, it's. It said for seven million points. You get a Harrier jet. And there was military. There was no fine print. There was nothing, they said is obviously a joke. And the kid was like, the hell it is. So he he got investors. He devised this plan to get seven million points out. See if this seems familiar. All right. 1995, I remember my miles. T-shirt, 75 Pepsi points, leather jacket, 450 Pepsi points, shades, 175 Pepsi -.you Pepsi stuff casual. Now, the more Pepsi you drink, the more great stuff you're going to get. Sure, beats the bus. Harrier fighters, seven million says drink Pepsi gets up, so it was a four part documentary on the guy who he was like, Go in for it. And then the legal just debacle that came from Pepsi being like, we thought everyone knew it was a joke. And so the reason I thought of it is because they offered him a considerable amount of money, a lot of money. And he was like, I want the area jet. And it just went on and on and on. Well, the Harrier jets are worth millions and millions of dollars in the area jet. Yeah, exactly. So I think John Leonard, he realized that if he obtained 15 points and then paid for the rest of the points with a check, then the jet would be cheaper than what it would cost to buy. Yeah, you could say he found in the like in the fine print like you could like 10 cents would buy you one point. And so you could just write a check for Eddie was $700000, whatever. They sent it back. And then it started this s**t storm and it rewrote. Apparently, it rewrote legal, rewrote law. Yeah, I was really interesting. On a sadder, more pedestrian note, I would feel the same way watching the price is right. When I was a kid, I would sit on watch prices right 13 inch black and white zenith. Whenever a pot to piss and and just never handle, you know you go, you want to be what's behind? Card number one, card number two, card number three and they'd always go. One of them's got the vacation, a port of art, and it's all expenses paid and whatever. And they go and then they go. Card number two and Jay would be riding a donkey. Yeah, or sometimes Jay would be an a steamroller and then go up. And it was car number one that had the Port of error vacation, but I was so poor and so that for us, like put the steamroller like that donkey, that donkey has got to be worth 600 bucks, a Kuwaiti shell, a donkey. And that is your donkey. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you do this s**t donkey ride. Pepsi should've said something. Well, I'm I'm. I'm Harrier jet. Yeah, here I go. And I picked what was behind door number two. I got a ride out of here on my and I get to f**k JAG. Yes, because I get that what whoever's writing is riding it. They say, All right, you can have the Harrier jet. You got 24 hours to fly it out of here. Oh, that would be getting beat up. You didn't fly that. Well, guess it's just this whole plan was, I'm going to take it to conventions and state fairs, and I'm this is going to be my moneymaker. He had a whole plan. It was actually a really interesting little duck. Yeah, as I remember when Schwarzenegger tried to fly the Harrier jet. Yeah, true. You know, let's say what was said is true lies. True lies lies. Yeah, true lies. That's what it look like. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm only bringing this up because you guys may I think you may have met him. Know him personally. I just want to give a little update because I hadn't thought about him in a while. It's been a long time since we've heard from Sinbad. He had a devastating stroke two years ago, and this made me think this is one of those things that happen during COVID. So we kind of all missed it. Yeah, he's provided an update on his recovery, and we're looking at a picture is really tough. Sixty six year old went on Instagram and shared this link to a website where he's chronicling his recovery. He suffered an ischemic stroke in October 2020. That was a result of a blood clot that traveled from his heart to his brain. Nearly died was hospitalized for nine months. Since then, he's been going to through intense therapy. They say he's already beaten. The odds made significant progress. He's learning to walk again right now. He says he's not going to stop fighting until he can walk across the stage again. It really, really hit him hard. Wow. Yeah, you hear about this here, you know? Yeah, I I met him and I know people. But what happened was he had the stroke. The blood clot went from his heart to his brain. They did the surgery. And the next day it happened again. Another blood clot went to his brain, and it was when they did the second surgery that they said, well, the doctors said they didn't think he was going to make it. And he was like in the induced coma for, you know, for weeks and now. So it's been two years. And everybody was happy to see this just to see him standing up because he was in bed. I mean, he couldn't talk for a long time. And you know, yeah, it's been really tough. And yeah, I read this story and sort of post. It's heartbreaking. You know this. This is the ultimate in bad things happen to good people, and bad was just a sweetheart, hilarious, nice guy. And now I only heard good things about him. I mean, just floored. And he wasn't unhealthy or anything, you know? I mean, it was just one of those, yeah, random things that happens to people that is zoom in on his two tattoos so we can figure out who they are. I know one of them is Marc Maron, but I can't figure out who the one on his left arm is. He has two tattoos and I'm trying to think of that. We can read who those two know cheating gene. Oh, I thought you wanted me to. We got to go in. So, OK, la star Kruschev four stars. No, no. I think it's Malcolm X. That's what I was going to say. That's exactly what I was going to say. Facial hair looks stolen. I don't know. I'm sure it doesn't. Well, Tyson as Mao on as Tyson have. Yeah, he's got Mao. Mao's done a lot of killing. OK, yeah. But you don't ask Mike Tyson about his tattoos of Mike Tyson. Got a tattoo? It's OK. It's OK. Yeah, I'm going with Malcolm X. The other arm is one of the Pointer Sisters. Probably? Yeah. Let me see if I got Malcolm X on one forearm and then we got to dig into the other thing about it. All right. Well, this isn't Stalin that fits that you were there, but it was a million miles of Adam. I got to get you to walk through a black neighborhood. You got to walk through the middle. I got to. I love you, Adam. But that was the distance. All right. Let's bring it home. You got it. I see that. And that's the news. Gina. Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. I'm going to read the Rialto Theatre and Tucson doing stand up December 15th and 16th 17th. I'll be at the Tempe Improv. I'll be there. I'll be there. Alonzo Bodden is going to be at the Arlington Drafthouse. That will be Friday and Saturday. That's this Friday and Saturday, coming up in Arlington, Virginia. And then Texas is going to be the majestic theater. December 2nd Burbank Nightcap Comedy Club. Where is that Burbank? It's on Burbank. No, it's on Magnolia. Oh, no. Oh no. So it was an outdoor venue during the pandemic, and now they have a little theater. A nightcap December 9th, December 9th, and you can go to Alonzo Boden Gqom. Very funny stand up. Go to Alonzo Boden BCom for all the live dates in the podcast, who's paying attention as well? So tell me times and I'll call for Vinny Tortorella and Alonzo Bodden of Che Guevara on this rib cage. Tyson has sorry. OK, there we go. There we go, saying Mahalo. Make sure you get a copy of Adam's new book here. Randomizer or something that's available everywhere. Finer books are sold. There was a voicemail in at eight six four one seven four four. Hey, get your tickets as a Vaisman and get them now at Adam Carolla dot com. You owned your rent, your home. Sure, you do. And it can be hard work, you know, it's easy bundling your policies with GEICO. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowner's or renter's insurance along with your auto policy. It's a good thing, too, because you have so much to do already around your home. Why not make it easy? Go to Geico.com, get a quote and see just how much you could save. It's Geico easy. Visit Geico.com today. That's Geico.com all month long on Pluto TV's Stream. The biggest Tyler Perry movies free. Watch your favorites like Madea's Witness Protection and Madea's Big Happy Family Joy Tyler Perry as he goes on a couples retreat with Sharon Leal in Why Did I Get Married? Or Idris Elba and Gabrielle Union in the Tyler Perry directed film Daddy's Little Girls. Plus, Pluto TV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies and TV shows available on live and on demand. Download the free Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming now. Pluto TV Drop in watch Brie Islands Edge Stout is less bitter like Ian Hughes from Antrim Ian. Well, my brother in law has this massive gaffe. He's got extensions on the extensions he car company to rake in, and he was, yep, AYP better yet doesn't. There's no need. There's no need. No. Well, actually, it turns out that he was embezzling funds from the business. Looks like he's going to do time for it. Oh, that's desperate. Yeah, yeah. Really, really dreadful, right? Ireland's edge. It's better, less bitter. Get the fox speed rink aware there's a drink of words on a.
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