Ep. 81 - Astro & Danielle Teller: Sacred Cows

Transcript

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All right, in this show, very funny comedian Steve Trevino joins us to talk about everything, mostly Mexicans, but it's pretty damn funny. Also, we got news and everything coming your way, and we'll do that right after this. All right, this show brought to you in part by SimpliSafe, if if you have 30 minutes, you never have to worry about break ins ever again, just go to SimpliSafe.com/ and get all the sensors you need, all the help you need as well to set it up. Custom systems going to show up posthaste at SimpliSafe.com/ out October 11th. Adam Carolla returns to the Irvine and Brad. Let's go, it's Adam Carolla and friends. What else you got featuring Brad Williams? Listen, this job is not that hard. Get your tickets now at the Irvine Improv box office or at Adam Carolla dot com. Adam Carolla and Friends. And that was the sound of another ticket being sold to sell out another theater. Adam Carolla, Brad Williams and more. I like Big Booty and Big Old Titties. October 11 at the Irvine and Bravo. Never before have we lived in a time where science and medicine have been so vital. At Eli Lilly and Company, we use groundbreaking science to create medicines that make life better for people around the world or manufacturing campus in Limerick will play a key role in Lilly's global mission of continuous innovation. We're now recruiting for new roles in science, engineering, quality assurance and quality control. Find your place at Lilly Limerick. Visit careers, double philly.com and search Limerick. From Kabul, one studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guest today, comedian, the wife whisperer Steve Trevino. Plus, we'll do the news with Chris, Lakshmana and now the White Whisperer. Adam Carolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got to get on a judge, we're going to mandate you get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Next on the friendly love that about you, Steve Trevino or Trevino, I don't know how we went to pronounce it in studio has got live dates all over the place. You can go to Steve T R e v i a.k. Com for all the live dates. Got a podcast? Stay about as well. Good to see you, Steve. What's up, man? A very official here. You know the notepad you're going to pen. They give you a notepad. A paperclip. I've got a paperclip. Don't use it. Yeah, yeah. No, that's OK. We need to give a midget an abortion. Yeah, go ahead. For the full size, there's really a clip for the little people because they're so let off. There's always this little and so short. He once gave his girlfriend cancer. See more paperclip. Can't say midget anymore and say midget. Unacceptable little person. Much worse than midget. You know one of his past now. Eric Meyer, hilarious comedian. One of my favorite jokes, he goes, He's one of the want to be something little. Yeah, I don't. Yes. Wouldn't it be better if there were giant babies? Yeah. And I guess that's the fun part. Well, in in the in the pantheon of changing the language, as as I've always said, saying server is worse than waiter server sounds like servant. It's like right close that look like you could order nachos and ask them to wash your feet. Right? That's that's what server stands up. And then little person is much worse than midget or dwarf. And then the one that's most confusing is if you say colored person, you're out of a job, but you can say people of color, then that's OK. Right. So in the 70s, Asians were Orientals. Right. And now it's a rug, right? But to me, the colored person versus people of color is like saying, You can't say I'm a Raiders fan, but you can say I'm a fan of the Raiders, but it's the exact same thing. All it shows, and this is my true belief, since there is no difference between colored person and people of color, all they're trying to do is trip whitey up and locking up, and then they can attack. How do we get his a*s right? Can't do master bedroom anymore now, right? That's right. And the homeless thing anymore. Right? And I don't know what they call it now, right? But it's not master bedroom. They call it the primary suite. Yeah, that's the Mary Suite. Black Mary. All. All I'm saying. We are now walking into the primary suite there. So it's it's it's the circle talkers. I call it. It's the circle talkers. I was talking yesterday. So there's a whole new group of people that just want to talk about talking. And I want to like f**king build bridges and and remodel airports and pop up new schools. And I'm all about I flew into Burbank, and the utter lack of Fox is unbelievable. Burbank, that airport. It's the exact same architecture as North Hollywood High, my high school box with us, with carpet that's 80 years old and they just go, Yeah, we go to Vegas. That's what we do, right? Nothing to see here. People are our garbage, you know? Hey, we got a Guy Fieri sandwich kiosk. That's new. The other thing I like about the Burbank airport is there is that cop battery powered trike thing. That's why the Segway, it's it's the Paul Blart, whatever. It's the three, it's for the fat cop. And he rode Segway is too much for the fat cop. This is the truck. This is training wheels. It's the cop version of the last scooter. That's it. Disneyland for the fat people. Right? The extra wheel. The entire terminal is eighty five feet long. Where are you going on this thing that I'm sure three point turn to get up, turn around twice. You'd be much better on foot right than you would on this device, which I've never seen anyone on. It's just it's parked by the Segway. Got to be white bra. It definitely cost forty one thousand dollars from the taxpayer. Stuff that could give a sense of Burbank and Fatboy had to give Fatboy a scooter, and it's never used. It sits in the corner. I guess people trip over it every once in a while. And all I do is look at it and go, This is the biggest f**king waste in the world. And if there was ever an airport, you didn't need this. It is. That's why there's no second store. You can walk to the other side in three minutes. If you stop at the Guy Fieri kiosk, it'll take eight minutes, you know, in a real airport. They have like the golf carts. Right? I just envision Fatboy Cop picking up some old lady and putting her on his little trike. Let me take. Yeah, let me take you to terminals over there as a because your concierge key. He has a cop. You grew up watching T.J. Hooker. Every cop show I saw was some guy yelling into a squawk box, no time for backup and then sliding over somebody's hood and chasing down a perk. Perp chasing the guy down. Now take his baton out, throw out his feet and trip him up. One percent batting average were throwing batons at people knocking them over, which I don't think would work. But as a cop, you grew up watching that s**t. And now someone gives your three wheeled fat guy cycle. You got to take a look in the mirror. Well, because you know the standards now, right? You can't tell a cop to be in shape. Now, you know, now, now we you're going to hurt his feelings and wow, you know my solution for that. I got a solution. You get one bulletproof vest issued to you when you leave the academy, and this is this summer in £71 and this is what you got. Now you can spill as much of your fat a*s outside of that bulletproof vest as you want. That'll be your protection. Yeah, that's the size. You're going to get shots like a sports bra on some fat. I guess you'll get shot in the gut. So I was thinking about, yeah, I was watching your special last night, and I know you're the you're the wife whisperer. You know how to talk to women? Well, I don't know if that's the case, but yeah, you don't think so. I don't. You've lost your edge. Well, you know, my whole life is, is my wife and my kids. And it's funny because sometimes I get hit up all the time where they go, can you talk about something else? And I'm like, I don't do anything else. Mm hmm. I wake up every day. I try to be the best that I can be, the best husband I can be. And then I go on the road on the weekends, right? So the things I have to talk about are my frustration with my wife raising kids and and I'm a family man. So, you know, and it's like, are you going to tell Chappelle not to be racy? You know, are you going to tell, you know, Bill Burton not to complain? Well, you know, it's what I do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is funny when people tell you not to complain, it's like, that's all I do. That's how I get paid. That's how I became a comedian. And I don't even think they think. It's like when guys bust each other's balls. Women think it's mean when they're like, that's how we communicate, and it's a shame because the ball busting has gone away. You know, and it's gotten to the point, I think these young comics on the road and we like to ball blast on the road and God, God forbid. I mean, you see these, you're a comic. I hurt your feelings. I attack. You don't have feelings. No, we're not allowed to have feelings as comics like you. What? No, I am. Then you go to the era of my dad's my dad's Vietnam. That he has his little Vietnam vet coffee group at at the McDonald's in Portland, Texas. And I go meet those guys from time to time and the filth and the aggression that comes out of their mouth with their s**t talking. Yeah, it's a whole nother level that I'm like, You guys don't even know the way these guys s**t talked. Not only. And Chris has a clip from Oprah and Cindy Crawford. Not only are we not allowed to talk s**t in real time anymore, we now can go back and pull archival footage from the 80s of people talking s**t and try to f**k them up for s**t they did. Thirty five years ago, they weren't talking. They may have not even been talking s**t back then. It just now it feels like they're talking. I mean, I feel that's right. I feel like we've gone backwards. I mean, if you watch Don Rickles SNL monologue for, first of all. Hilarious. Second of all, he'd be annihilated today. I mean, he walks out there, Oh, we got an agent over here, we got a Puerto Rican over that Puerto Rico is probably going to stab you and I mean, it's f**king hell. And how do we go from that to, oh my god, don't say anything to anybody. I don't. I don't know. It's backwards. It's the opposite of being a comedian, right? And comedians should have pushed back against this harder when it started. It's my my belief. And it's also weird that there's woke comedians out there like the opposite of being a comedian, and not to mention these comedy clubs that are like, you know, getting into politics and putting things on their marquees where I'm going, No, no, no. You were Switzerland, right? The comedy club needs to be a place where they go, this is art, and we don't know what's going to happen on this stage. And if you don't like it, you can get up and walk out. But do you notice the difference? I definitely do. When you go to Appleton, Wisconsin, it is much different than doing the Laugh Factory or the improv in L.A., the L.A. audience. I just did a set at the improv and told all my horrible, horrible jokes, and they're so f**king uptight, like they're just uptight. And I'm sure if you went to L.A. or you went to, I don't know, Seattle or Portland, whatever the more uptight cities are, the the less they would react to these jokes. And then when you go to other places, you go to the middle of the middle of the country and they don't give a s**t. I know they claim they're just laughing, having a good time. You know, we are. They're entertainment because they're the people that actually go to work every day. You know, I remember, you know, with my dad complaining about traffic one day and my dad goes, Don't complain about traffic because these people pay to see you. Mm hmm. These people, oh, wait, you're complaining about traffic. I was complaining about all the traffic and he goes, Oh, I thought, you mean your nine and with your dad? Now, dad and I were stuck in traffic. I'm complaining about he goes, These are the people that go watch you, right? Oh, because he was these people worked their asses off in a corporate bulls**t world. They want to come to the comedy club and f**king let loose right and laugh at whatever they want to laugh at because he's not sitting next to them and their boss isn't on the right and they get there. And which is the other reason why comedy clubs are designed to be dark. So that you don't have to you don't feel like everybody's watching me laugh. There he is. There is an individual, a certain person, and you can you can tell me and tell me if if you just have any thoughts about this, is it just it just popped in my head, but it's happened a few times. It's certainly happened. I'm still in Kimmel's club in Vegas a week ago or so. And it's a Vegas thing. I think it's a Vegas tourist thing there. There will be people that just park their a*s front and center, just just right first row. These ladies were sort of first row. I had one at the Improv on Wednesday night. First row, second, like 28 year old chick. And they literally have their arms folded and they're looking like, Oh, they have a little incredulous look and their face has a look like they had a shopping cart with two items in it at the Ralphs. They want to go get some cereal and somebody took it. That's it's kind of a they're just sort of like s**t. So just what is going on? And I'm like, You need to sit further back if that if your thing is arms crossed, someone put a plate of s**t under your nose f**king move or something. I can't see you just sitting there looking. It's just I would rather you get pissed off and leave. I would rather you heckle. I would rather you just go thumbs down or go, Oh, come on, Gabi, I have a cousin with cerebral palsy. That's not funny like anything, then just motionless, arms folded s**t. Just not even if not a full blown frown or head shake. Just the look of like, what the f**k are you doing? Even worse for the husband, for the poor bastard husband, it's they're trying to have a good time and he's got to make stink face over here. Yes, just looking at him, like, why are you laughing? And then he can't laugh because she's going to be a b***h to play. But you're something what is attractive about the first row to this person? You know what I mean? What makes her think? Once you go back two and a half rows, I can't see anymore. You're in the shadows at that point, but I can see you clearly because your knees are against the stage and they're just folded on, like literally just folding your arms. You know what I mean? Like when somebody said, I'm going to deliver a stirring eulogy for your grandfather and you're like, All right, let me fold my arms and let me open my mouth and raise one brow a little higher. Like whether you're at church, whether you're anywhere and wherever you are. Understand your posture and like the body language in like your face, like people are reading it. But they're the kind of people that wake up every day and go, I'm going to hate everything. I can't wait. I can't wait to s**t on you at the comedy. Why? But they find themselves in the front row. I think you think, you know, Well, you know what? I'm going to hate it, so I'm going to sit in the front row. Well, f**k off and go somewhere else. I get it all the time. It's it's it's like, I hate polar bears, so I'm going to the zoo. I don't put my nose against the glass of the polar bear. I don't like this. I'm going to be right there, right? They're going to see my face, my disgust. My God, I'm going to let Adam Carolla know that I am disgusted and I want everybody to see. The thing that's weird about these people is, you know, you make some political jokes. All right, maybe they disagree or you make some off color remark. All right. Maybe they disagree. And then there's other jokes are just jokes. They're still not budging. You know, they're not budging you. It's one hour of watching this person like it's that's why are they uncomfortable? That's what's even crazier is that they sit there the whole show. Then at the end go, I did not like that guy, but you sat there the whole. Yes. Ten minutes in, you should make the decision. This guy is not for me, right? I'm going to go do something else. I had an elderly couple get up and leave. One of Kimmel's club shows in Vegas last week in Vegas got up from sitting near the front. Then if you saw them get up and he was about four rows back. But he had crazy frames on his eyeglasses and I made a comment about him being old at some point. And he just got up and walked out. And it wasn't. It wasn't even it wasn't a joke. This a*****e stated the obvious. Well, f**k that. I was talking about progeria, the disease. I was doing this progeria, just progeria. Hey, it's a heady, it's a heady set. You know, I'm not up there yelling, get her done. Twenty five times in a row, I bring the comedy. You write when you sit down to write a bid and you go, you know, I was, it's it's actually somebody else's joke. It's the only joke I do. That's not my joke, but it's the progeria joke and I do it once in a while. And progeria is a disease. I know it's you look old when you're nine years old, when you're nine years old. Benjamin Button Yeah, you look like your other little old man. You look like you're 80 when you're not Sally Jessy Raphael back in the day. Yes. OK. All right. See, everyone kind of knows it. Can't you explain it? And so there's this old guy and people are like, What is progeria? And I said, it's like, if this guy was nine years old, that's what the disease is. That's enough. But he was seventy four. You know what I mean? I'm not saying know he could have been nine. He might be at Bajaria. He's like, I just came here to drive. He's like, You, motherf**ker. I'm progeria. You piece of s**t. Oh, knock in the club. I'm taking my bomb pop and my Pez dispenser and leaving. The guy just got up and left. Yeah, but I'm OK. I always thought, I'm OK with that. I'm OK with somebody not liking my set right now. If you don't like what I do, man. It's always funny for me because I talk about my wife and my frustrations and I'll have that Karen. And then inevitably, afterwards, she'll come up to me and, you know, the way you talk about women. And immediately, I'll go. Are you married? Divorced? I'm like, b***h, this conversation's over. Yeah, well, you are the problem. The other the other thing is is people feel deputized to be able to say anything to anybody when I was keeping family. I would never dream in a million years to go to a comedian and talk to him about his set or business. I wouldn't have been in the realm of possibility, so it wouldn't have been in the realm of possibilities when I was a kid to go up and talk to somebody dad, like I had one of my daughter's friends. Was like a year ago, she was like buzzing around the barbecue in the back of the house looks like an outdoor kitchen like barbecue, just like Stan and I walked out and since she was there and I'm like, What are you doing there? And she's like, I just found something. And like, an hour later, I headed out and she was standing out there again. I figured she was popping a cigarette or drink at a Yeager shot or something, and I was like, Hey, what? What business do you have out here in this barbecue? Here it's night. Like, What are you doing? I got nothing, and she went back in the house. Ten minutes later, I got my daughter coming in, Hey, what was that about? I'm like, Wendy, what was what about the you and my friend? We talked to her that that voice. I was like she was hanging out in the shadows, like by the barbecue a couple of times. I want to know what she was doing out there. Well, you don't. You don't go out and talk to people. But you made her feel that the point is it might be later found out because this person told her, You know what I mean? Could you imagine being at Mr Jones's house when you're a kid and be up f**king around with his barbecue? And at some point he came out, went like, Hey, man, what's up out here? What are you doing? And then you go in and find your friend to go, Hey, you better go settle your dad's f**king hash before I do it myself, I'll f**king. I don't want a third degree. Well, I'm top of the cigarette by the barbecue. You better straighten this s**t out. Otherwise, I won't come here and eat is f**king food anymore. I'll tell you that right now. Bulls**t over here. Yeah, I don't need that s**t. It's like. So that's where that's where we're at with kid. Not. Not only did she feel attacked or uncomfortable, but she was being weird. She feels weird. f**king got to know that right? Like, you can't just go out into a place where nobody else is that it's not your house and hang there for no reason at all. And somebody's just asking why you're there? Well, I asked why she was there the second time I saw her hanging out. It happened again. What the f**k is going on, right? She's being what the kids call sus. Yes. And she f**king ratted me out. And these both of them thought, Well, this old man, the guy who pays the mortgage here is way out of line. This f**king day, this f**king day. How dare he? We better, we better nip this one in the bud. He's going to be asking all kinds of questions. I mean, look, my wife's so good at everything. You know, we do a lot of remodels at the house, you know, and I grew up, you know, doing construction. I grew up roofing houses. I mean, you know, I know a little, you know, I could I could tile your house and people go, but they could definitely go. Pro did not do that, right? If you can do it, but I could do it. But my wife worked like she'll go over there and be like, Is this supposed to be like this? And I want and I'm looking at her like. f**king this is they're lame. They f**king do this every single day. Leave them the f**k alone. The Tylers, yeah, yeah, that's what they do. Yeah, well, I don't understand why that title has to look like that, and I'm like, Well, you want to do the f**king math while women is less than I used to do this for a living. All I dealt with was women. Oh, it's all. You do not deal with the guy, right? Once in a blue moon, you deal with the guy like once in blue. Like when I was doing this, I remember saying, like to this guy, like, I'm going to use court around instead of base you on the molding, on the baseboard molding or something. And he goes, Judge, ask my wife. I said, No, no, she's not here, but I just kind of keep moving forward here that that makes sense. You got to talk to. You got to talk like he's like, I don't wanna get into trouble. I don't want to make. I don't want to pay for you to do it again. I don't want to greenlight something that she's going to come back. So the women were always in charge of everything. And the problem with women is they had an unrealistic sense of like what could be done like that when I would paint a room I'd prime at first and then when I was done priming it, the woman would walk into the room and ask, What are you going to? Are you? Are you going to paint it? And I'd go, Yeah, yeah, we'd do the prime and then the paint. OK, so this isn't going to be the color. I don't know. It's like you've got a prime at first, but you are going to paint it. Yes, I'm going to paint it. You just walked in after I was done framing it and you want to know what's going on. And it's why is it red? Well, that's for waterproofing, honey. That's, you know, let's f**king guy do his job. Oh, Red Guard. Yeah, the red door. You know, I know everything. And we built this beautiful up. That's a shower. Well, we know we did a paver patio in my backyard. Beautiful. It was all stonework. I mean, these f**king dudes from Honduras. Oh yeah. I mean, they're four foot 11. Yeah, yeah. They're carrying bricks like that. They like and they're wearing the dress shirts. They don't wear shorts. They wear f**king slacks and dress shirts like they work because they're going to church. That's 104 degrees outside. But so they're building this beautiful freakin and my wife goes over and every time she'd walk out there, the defeat on these men. Oh yeah, the you just see their shoulders drop. And I would be behind her like that. Like, I don't. I'm sorry. Like, yeah. And she'd be like, Well, does this, you know that grout line looks? And I'm like, Honey, they're putting rock. Yes, it's f**king rock. Yeah, they can't. It's not cut to 90 degrees f**king rock, right? They're still making it all f**king well, but there's a little peace in between that. And who the f**k do you think these people are? The other mean they are like little magic elves. Don't get me wrong, they're like f**king the other chick thing that'll happen all the time when I used to build a go like. We want we blow out this wall, and I have it wide open between the kitchen and the dining area, which it is wide open expanse. And then I'd go well to supporting walls. You got a second floor and we're going to have to put a post. And I don't want a post. I want a wide open and then I'd go open concept. All right. Well, if we're not doing a post, then we got to put a piece of steel up there because it's a twenty two foot span and we're not going to be able to get it with a four by eight. I need to put a piece of steel. Well, how much is that going to cost? Well, that's going to be five grand. Oh, no, I don't. I don't want that, but I want it open. It's like, Yeah, all right. You can have a post for 400 bucks, or we can put in quite a piece of steel up there. But still, I know my $5000. I don't want a 30 seater post. I could put a box around it, but there's going to be a f**king post here or there'll be a piece of steel. But you need it's going to be five grand. No, no. I don't want to pay that. I don't want. I want it open. I want it. That's that's the mind that you have to deal with. My wife will argue with f**king jeeps. Why did you turn there? I'm like, I don't know. f**king Nasser told me to. Yeah, yeah. A satellite truck and a satellite that's watching. Yeah. Well, that's not faster. Oh, OK, well, f**k the NASA's wrong. NASA's f**king wrong women to argue with navigation. And then they'll do that thing where they go. I always just go on the four or five and get off on Howard Hughes. I know, I know. But the computer that's talking to the satellite is saying I should get off an exit first because it knows something you don't know or you think there's a personal vendetta. All right. f**k you. Satellite satellite's gone rogue. It's like the Trevino's man. They they could take seven minutes longer to get to the airport. I'm going to destroy them. So r****ded about Google. Where you go, they go. Here's another route that is 30 minutes slower. Why the f**k would you show me that? Oh, I'll tell you what I want. I'll tell you what I do want out of ways. This is what I want. You can like. Let's say where we are right now, right? You can get from here to LAX. If you used ways you can get from here to LAX, literally get on the freeway 100 feet from here and never get off the freeway until you get to the airport exit. Or there's a version where you'll just be driving through cemeteries and over people's lawns and through the scariest dices, gang infested, but f**ked up parts of L.A. But you shall. You will save eighty seven seconds and it tells you do it. And my thing is is I. I could dedicate an extra two minutes and just stay on the freeway. Never have to think about turning here, cutting up. They're going around. They're like, But I want you to tell me, right? I want you to go, Look, there's a Mad Max version of this where you will be. You will be driving through this. This area's places in the world up, or you can stay on the freeway. And I will add it's going to be two minutes and probably live and probably lived to tell you, I agree with that. Why don't they tell you this one's kind of f**ked up? Yeah, but yeah, we'll get you there. Two minutes I got so deep. Are you? What? What's your nationality? Mexican, OK, American, Mexican American, American, Mexican. I got a Latin X. We got it. We've got to be so deep off of. I went, I went to L.A., took ways from here. I was so far off the grid that I passed a business. I've lived in L.A. my whole life and I've never seen it this before. Written on the sign above the restaurant, it said Mexican cuisine. And I thought I've never seen cuisine attached to Mexican A.. You know, we go to Mexican, but we only do this cuisine. We don't f**k around with them. Tucker is we. They got one of them cuisines. And I was driving past it, just staring at it, going crazy. And then I thought you had to earn cuisine. Well, you know, don't say that it was the guy that started the restaurants. I know. Put that into my food. My food ain't regular food, which based cuisine I would like. I like to be the sanctioning body in charge of cuisine. It's like first things first, as a country has to be, if you don't have an air force or navy and you specialize in fentanyl trafficking, no cuisine for you. You're not you haven't earned a cuisine. I would like to walk into that place. I go, What do you got? Well, street tacos. Sorry, no cuisine. You have no cuisine. Every menu item includes a tortilla. No cuisine. It's no f**king cuisine. Yeah, it's chains, right? Yes, we can roll it. We can put half it and make a taco. You only break up the this menu. You add eggs in the morning. That's not cuisine. I need something that rises, I need a soufflé. I need something. I need to use the toilet. Do you use the toilet? You use a butane torch to brown on top. If not, you're f**ked. Help us. We've got one dessert. You got liquefied sugar shaped into a cactus. Sorry. Something that is not cuisine. No, we have a chocolate like a pinata. You hit it with a stick and the candies they fall out and that cuisine. That's not. That's not cuisine. Sorry. But I will ask you all that time for you. You're smack dab in the middle of food. And by the way, food, Mexican cuisine number two, I have a number right next to f**king Americans are the worst at being creative. You serve something called flap steak. It's like this cool one two three four five six. Can it just be totally healthy school? Do you have to f**king number them? I agree. Why are they f**king numbered? Oh, my favorite part about the Mexican people is how on the nose they are with everything, everything like the there's a butcher that's like a Mexican butcher that's like in Burbank and the front of it painted on the sign. It's just like Mr. Pig with an axe and he's chasing a cow. This is how I do it. The stuff you don't want to think about, like we call it pork, not pig. We give it different names because we don't even want to think about the animal. f**king you guys not only have the animal, but then the animal's got an axe and a top hat and like a monocle. But he's made it into a person. Now eat a person. It's Mr. Pig is going after Mrs Cow with an axe, got the monopoly man and on and look, look like John Freeman. I am telling you, Ben, look for this place. It's been there for a million years. I don't know if it's still there. It's in Burbank. It's a butcher. It's Mexican and the front of it. This has this big mural. I mean, I also got it. I mean, I do like the the the the they're so forward, right? And you go to Mexico, you buy a pack of cigarettes. There is a dude's f**king on the back. It'll show a dude who has lung cancer. Mm hmm. You know what I mean? Like, they will show black lungs, you know, like, they're like, Look, the news here, like somebody died today. Mexican news is like, there he is. Media, right? He lost his head. Look right. I mean, there's so forward. I mean, I grew up, you know, my dad is a Vietnam vet. Hardcore loves this country. But you know, Mexican-American. My dad was always just so straightforward. Yeah. So that's how I grew up. And I don't know how to be anything else. Write it down. Days, it hinders me. Now, listen, Pierce, I don't know how to like I not. I work. I work. Construction is all I do is work with Mexicans right there. And and here's how all you need to know about Mexicans work with the electrician named Jose. It would bring a son on the jobs like thirteen fourteen year old son. You know, they always teach you work and I'm a bright kid with chubby. He was called bottle cancer. Yeah, this abolishes like that they would never if you were fat and you're a teenage boy. Your name was fat. Yeah, were fat. Like, that's if they call him a ball of cheese. You know, the kids that were born with the like funny arm? Yeah. You know, we had one in our neighborhood and his nickname was right hook, right? That like, you guys can't even do chupacabra. It's like a goat sucker. Mike nights to literally just nothing creative. Nothing interesting. No finesse, no cuisine. Just it's it's a thing. We'll call it the goat sucker. Yeah, it's 500 calories a plate and it's filth come in, right? It's f**king poor by no cuisine. It's poor. You get no Quincy. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, well, you've got to find this place. All right. Well, listen, I've done enough on the Mexicans. I know the culture well. I'm from here. You if you're from here and you work construction, you will no Mexicans at their core. You will eat with them, you will stay with them. You'll find out what they did every weekend. You'll all the trouble. Everyone, every one of them has seven DUIs. They don't have any thirty five beers right now. Then wake up in the morning at 5:00 a.m. like in sling stucco and like, nothing happened. No, I f**king dress shoes. I dress shoes and slacks. Like I say, they don't have gym shorts. Hey, bet the white t shirt that the way you wear dress slacks and red shoes, rayon shirt. Plus we're going to the beach later. Oh, they don't have swim trunks either. Did you wear the world jeans jeans in the ocean? The only ones barbecuing? Oh, you know the other. The other Mexican movies? Surf fishing. I have passed two hundred thousand Mexicans surf fishing just there in Malibu there. Standing in the water there on the rocks is a surfer. I've walked past a hundred thousand of these guys. I always look in their five gallon bucket. Nothing. There's nothing. I don't think there's a hook on the end of the f**king line. I think I want to get away from their f**king old lady. Yep, they live in a s**tty apartment in Reseda. There's nine of them in the apartment and the guy goes, I'm going out and getting dinner, and he just leaves and he just stares at the ocean. No f**king hookers, no spark plug to get it out. Just a little way. I just found the plug. It's got a fouled smart plug from the Chevy. I vetoed it and I'm going to f**king stay in here and not get lectured by this b***h in Spanish. There's some bad a*s white girls walking around. Yeah, I've got to check out some white a*s look at some titties. The bucket just has smashed natty light cans. I just they're just staying there. They just stand there, look at the line and you can't go. There's never a white guy to a white guy. I've never seen a black guy do it. There's no Asians. They won't engage in that s**t. Only Mexicans in the jeans. They don't have f**king board. Shorts and shorts and gym trunks are just a pair of shorts staring at a line that's tied to a spark plug. That's in eight feet of water, and they just stand there and there's never you never see a mid action. Never, never seen ChiComs note the rods never delivered. There's nothing in the bucket, but just check it every once in a while, every once. Why he'll bring it in and look at a spark plug in. Yeah, f**k, it's going to pass it back out. You know, I'm not going home yet, but there's no way these guys are doing it to eat fish. No, that's that's an impossibility because I've never seen them. I've never seen them hook up. I've never seen anything in the bucket. There's no passing that. There's no bait. There's nothing. f**k, they're just they're trying to get away from their old lady. That's exactly what. Listen, if you live in an apartment and receive it with nine people, when you f**king go down to Malibu and just bring your smart plug in your first one, what do you think you're going? I'm going to the beach. You can't just go to the beach. That's when he goes, You know what? I'm going to get a f**king fishing pole. Right? Yeah. And she goes, You're going to the beach to do what he's like, b***h. I'm I'm fish for dinner. I got s**t to do. Yeah, give me that spark plug and shut the f**k up and make me some Mexican cuisine. That's right. I want some cuisine when I get home, and by the way, I'm going down to catch dinner with just in case I don't land a big one. Take the machete. Go up to the hill. Hack some cactus. Come back and throw in a pot. Shave off the mess. Oh, that's the red balls. Now the females are the other spice. My mom. I live on twelve acres and there's f**king cactus everywhere. My my mom still does that. I know she'll be back there and I'm like, Mom, what do you do? Well, I know that was filler for you guys. You now have food. It's Mexican tofu. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. But it's tofu for vegetarians who wish they had meat. Yes, that's what it is. He out of the red bulb? That's one of those called berry cactus berries. That's not a biscuit, but that's peyote, though, right? That isn't that peyote. I don't. I don't. We got to figure this out. We got to Cindy Crawford thing, we got everything. We'll take a quick break. Come back with Steve right after this. SimpliSafe while one more vacation before the summer ends. But before you hit the road, protect your home with the latest innovation from SimpliSafe. Home Security 24-7 Lifeguard protection with fast protect monitoring, SimpliSafe agents can deter intruders through the smart alarm wireless camera, warning them they're being recorded and that police are on the way. That should do the trick. 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Find your place at Lilly Limerick. Visit Careers dutLea, Philly.com and search Limerick. I simply can't take my truck. Maybe because I love that truck just so and I go, and if you drive it when I fish, because that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to fish. And when I fish, you're going to drive that truck. She goes, What's wrong with that? I said, You have wrecked every vehicle that you've ever driven, and I don't want you to rent my truck. But because I love my wife, we took my truck. I'm fishing with my dad. I get a text message from my wife and it reads, Hey, no big deal. Any man who speaks wife already knows what's about to happen. No big deal. Call me when you're done fishing. Dot dot dot. That's how I knew I was f**ked. Dot dot dot. Have fun. Gosh, you wrecked my truck. She never wants me to have fun. Steve Trevino is on the Adam Carolla show how the Mexicans. Oh buddy, those Mexicans, they f**king work, though. Oh God, they work, you know? And I just, you know, my my grandfather immigrated here and from where? From Mexico, I've but like what part? He was. My mom is from Hidalgo, Mexico, which is Sabina Hidalgo specifically. And you know, they came here and I just, you know, when I'm at these comedy clubs, I'm like the only guy that will go into the kitchen to talk to the Mexicans and they freak out, you know, because they're like, What are you doing back here? Right? And I speak Spanish. I go there and say, hi and just thank them. And I just think, Man, you know, that's what that's the problem with this country that we're living in is that people don't realize that what the American dream truly is. The American dream is a promise that you can have a job. You can put a roof over your family's head and food in their bellies and the freedom to make your own decisions. That's f**king it. I agree I. Everything else is a bonus. I totally agree. I have no idea what chapter we're in right now and why we're making all these promises that we can't keep. And it's more circle talk. It's more talk of no one's illegal. We welcome all immigrants where sanctuary city, right? Bring us your tired near huddled masses and then a busload of Mexicans show up and they're like, What the f**k now? What now? Yes. Zero zero plan. And my concern, you know, for me, is my son. My concern is, is for the Mexican American. Mm hmm. You know, making sure that my son gets the education that he needs and he deserves. And unfortunately, if if there's 50 kids his age that don't speak English, that were that were brought here that now have to get caught up at a school. Then my son's education gets pushed to the side. I, I agree, and I'm I never understand. Like, we go nuts like, Oh, everything's racist or building a wall is racist or whatever it is we're doing at the bar. It's all. Everything is racist. Every policy is racist. I I always think about Canada. Canada, super stringent. About stuff that you can do. Every time I go into Canada, I get roasted. Oh my God. But by the border, guys, like you get pulled out. It's hard. It's a pain to make it into Canada. But I never have thoughts about they're not allowed to do this. So this is unfair. It's their country, right? They get to do whatever the f**k they want. I would say the thought experiment if Canada built a wall. Would we be all upset if we just be like, it's their f**king country? They can do whatever they want, and I guess they're concerned about people coming and going and them not knowing well. And my big thing too is like, you know, Mexico has all the resources in the world. It's a huge country. Why not? Why not help them create their economy better and make their world better so that they're not pouring into our country? Which, by the way, people don't realize that most of them are Honduran. Most of them are from south South America. They're crossing into Mexico. Mexico's going, f**k you guys, right? It's going to keep going. You know who will take you or bridge? Yeah, yeah. You have a son who's who's my thing with AOC and all the other bulls**t politicians who would go like kids. Kids are in cages. Kitchen, I like this. This chick just walked here from Honduras, right? She just walked here from Honduras. I think she's doing pretty good with her cot and her three meals a day and her medical exam. Yet she's got air conditioning and not much better room. She was hanging off outside of a bus for the last three thousand miles. I think this is a upgrade. I think she needs a break for her and I think she needs to sit under a bridge just for a little while. Just take a break, take a load off, honey. Yeah, it's it. It's crazy. And it is sad. And it is, you know, my my my main concern, like I said, is, is my son, you know, and people like my dad who they asked him to go to Vietnam. He did. He did it with pride. He absolutely loves this country. It is a pain in the f**king a*s for my dad to get anything from the VA. Really? Oh yeah. I mean, the poor guy, man, he goes in there. I mean, he's out. He's there for all day to finally get a meeting to hopefully get diagnosed. I mean, and it's like, Well, wait a minute, we're letting all these people in here illegally and we're giving them medical. Can we not take care of my dad? Yeah. Who put on a uniform, who now deals with Agent Orange and all the things that come with Vietnam, either the country asked them to. What I'm always thinking about is what is the endgame? Because it feels like the endgame is chaos. I don't. I don't feel like there's a plan. Once I talk and that's talking to Dr. Drew about this, are they talking on this show, Chris? Or I was saying, like, it'd be like saying, I'm just going to leave the front door open when I go to bed. Sounds like true. I think I was true. I'm saying that it's really like me saying I'm must leave the front door wide open to go to bat. You'll have to just leave it open. That's my point. And then I get up the next morning. There's like racc**ns, the kitchen sink, and I go, What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? It's like, Well, you, you left the front door open and you went to bed and then racc**ns came in, and now they're in your f**king sink and you're gone. Well, I don't. I didn't sign up for this. So like you, here's what I'm saying. If somebody said to me, I leave the front door open and then I take a racc**n catching cage and abate it, and I put it in the entry hall because I want to get those racc**ns up again. OK, that's a plan you have. But if you just leave the front door open and go to bed, then all you want is chaos. If it's just this which is not open border ship people all over the country drop them off in the middle of Texas. Well, that's just f**king chaos. So it's not a plan. But let me ask you this question, Adam, and and it is I know the answer, but it's like when I lived in L.A., I lived in L.A. for 14 years, went back to Texas. I now live in Texas. Why did I pay a cleaning lady and a nanny in L.A. five times less than I pay in Texas? Oh, really? Why? And the reason is because there's somebody willing to do it for cheaper here. Yes. Right. Because there's another one and another one and another one and another one. I go to Texas. I go the cleaning ladies don't cost this price. Meanwhile, my cleaning lady in Texas is driving a brand new Tahoe, right, living a good life. You know, getting paid to do a job. Yes, because there's not somebody knocking on my door going, f**k her, I'll do it for cheaper now. That's exactly right. Yeah. And and yes, this is common sense. Well, when you're new and you're poor and you're desperate, then you will work right for anything, right? That's so then. So then you create a permanent underclass and then they work for cheap, and then they end up growing up in the ghettos. And it's just a cycle of. Yeah. And really, what you do is you bounce out a lot of like black people who should be learning construction and learning a trade on those job sites. You take them who who are Americans and who need a skill and you send them home. And that's what we're dealing with. And then the labor gets cheaper and cheaper and then people walk around going, Can we get them fair wages? Well, we can't, because you keep letting more in. Right? There is no supply and demand. There's just supply. Yeah, that's a very good point. You know, and in Texas, where I live, you know, it is it is five times cheaper to live there. Yet I pay my cleaning lady and my nanny five times more. That's interesting. I never thought about that. And it's like, Well, why? Because there's not somebody. And our nanny is a college student who's going for her masters. We pay her well. She loves her job. Mm hmm. You know, but if there was somebody knocking on the door, unfortunately for our nanny. Sorry, honey, it's about dollars and cents, right? You know, I got this Mexican woman who's willing to do it for nothing. Well, speaking of Mexicans, you're saying off the air that you did George Lopez's show and that was the last podcast he ever did. Yeah. I don't know. It was such a weird thing to me, and I, you know, I am. I'm one of these. I don't know how to explain it. I want everybody to succeed. I want people to win races. I yeah, I think I think that there's room for all of us. You know, Adam Carolla does what Adam Carolla does. I do what I do. Jimmy Kimmel does what Jimmy Kimmel does. And there's there's there's for all of us. Right? I'm in there on the podcast and I just go, Man, there's this kid is really funny. And I named the guy the kid's name. And George just was like, No, you know, you should worry about you and only you. And my thought was completely different as a comedian, as a comedian. You know, and I, I was just trying to give this kid props and give them some love, and he was like, Don't give that kid love. Like, why or why do you want to talk about him? And I was like, Well, because he's really good. He's coming up. I saw a couple of his bits on what's his name? His name is Ralph Barboza. All right. Why are you in this case? You're here to talk about. Yeah. Ralph Barboza. But it was. It was kind of that thing where I was like, Well, does he know him? He doesn't know. George doesn't know him. I was just kind of trying to introduce George to him, you know, I get it. And as the Mexican-American comedy community, I would like to see more love and more unity, unity, you know, and that's kind of my only goal was, Hey, you know, I've been in the game a long time. I have specials on the air. George, you're King George. And here's this young kid who's coming up. We should, we should give him some. He's kind of King George of King George. And then it just turned into this whole thing went completely viral. And, you know, people were like, you know, hating on George and. And I didn't hate George for that. You know, everybody has their own opinions and everybody can live their life and was it is a kind of weird posture to have, though you're just plug some kid. Do you think it's funny? Yeah. I mean, it was very weird to me because, you know, I do listen to other other comics, podcasts and it seems very like, you know, this guy great or look at this funny bit that you know, I was listening to your interview with with Mikey Winfield, and you're giving him flowers, you know, and you're going, guys got so great to me. That's what it should be, because first of all, this business is extremely difficult and it's also extremely difficult of your Mexican-American, you know, and it's like, Hey, man, I'm trying to give this kid some props. And also it turned into this negative thing when it didn't have to be confusing. But a lot of life is confusing to me as I as I grow older, I'm confused by adults. I'm very confused by adults. And I will say that as I've grown older, my perspective on life has completely changed. You know, well, someone else has grown older. Cindy Crawford Ah, finally, ah, Cindy Crawford Oprah Story. She was a victim of decline by Oprah. This is on TMZ. So there's a new Apple TV show coming out called The Supermodels, and Cindy is in and she's getting interviewed. She's talking about an appearance she had on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986. Mm hmm. Eighty six and eighty six just want to see the clip from ABC? Yeah, let's just watch the I don't know who the guy is on. It's her agent. Oh, it's her age on Casablanca sweet mullet. So did you have to groom her wishes? Did she always have this body? This is unbelievable. Stand up just a moment because no one saw you come in standing up. Now this is what I call a body. Very good. Very good. But I'm not. I don't weigh 100 pounds. I'll tell that lady on the phone that I do know a hundred people. Are you about five nine, five nine? And I try to stay around 120. OK, so I'm happy for you. So she's 20 in this clip. Yeah. Cindy. So now in the upcoming Apple TV show, she does a talking head talking about this. Yeah. And yeah, she wasn't very fond of what happened. Okay. I was like the channel for a child, like be seen and not heard. When you look at it through today's eyes, when Oprah's like, stand up and show me your body, like, show us why you're worthy of being here in the moment, I didn't recognize it only when I look back at it and I was like, Oh my gosh, that was so not OK, really, especially from Oprah. Well, look, how does she feel hot, she's still hot, so she still can't talk. So your model, that's what people do say they look at your body. Yes, that's that's the game you're in. That's how you make a bodybuilder doing a show going, Don't look, don't look at the don't look at my muscles. How dare you going after Oprah, too? Well, Oprah is on the block. Tell me I was kind of thinking about this, and you guys kind of tell me I was listening. I was just in a podcast and the guy was digging into Stern. And then she's getting to know. Me, if you guys what you think of this. There, there were people and there were people that had a big audience and a lot of power and you didn't f**k with them. It was was unspoken, right? But you didn't f**k with Howard Stern and you didn't f**k with Oprah. And there's a couple that we probably didn't f**k with Harvey Weinstein. You know what I mean? Like, they were like a handful of people untouchable. You just didn't. You couldn't talk s**t. You couldn't criticize. You couldn't. You could. You could not really mean s**t. A word about Oprah, right? You would be f**ked up. You destroyed. I feel like people are kind of our Scientology. You couldn't. But 10 years ago, you couldn't say s**t about Scientology or stern or Oprah or whatever the Jewish people you just did not speak out against. And kind of little by little like Scientology and this more people sort of piping up and talking s**t about the people you formerly couldn't talk. I mean, you're absolutely right. The tides have turned. I mean, look at your show. Yeah, right? Talking s**t about everybody. And I mean, but you're able to go, Look. Watch me. Listen to me if you want, I'm here. I'm doing my s**t. And I think that it's scaring the crap out of the the what used to be the Hollywood. Well, now I tell my wife the celebrity is gone. There's no celebrity endorsement for a candidate means nothing. Nothing anymore. I thought I would really think, you know, the Oprah endorsement used to mean a ton of stuff. The endorsement you would probably anger more people with the endorsement from Mega Celebrity than you would right in the past. More debt. More harm than good. Well, not me, but with the internet. I mean, you look at a guy like Mr Beast. I mean, you want to talk about a guy that's changing. I mean, he went into the chocolate world that had been the same for 100 years. Yeah. And he's selling $200 million worth of chocolate in Hershey. And all of them are going, What the f**k is going on? Yeah. You know, Gatorade is freaking out because he goes, I'm going to do Prime. I'm going to do my kid Gatorade. He looks at me like, I'm an old man. Oh, really? He said, What are you drinking right away? Yeah. What is their strategy in 1980? There's disruptors. There's a show up there. Yeah, the game is changing. And when me and my wife started kind of doing our podcast, our goal was, we're going to show the real us. Mm-Hmm. You know, the ups, the downs, the whole, the whole thing. And I think people are ready to see that. They just want to hear the real s**t. I I think what happened with COVID is I think COVID sped up the timeline for the disruptors from 10 years to three years. So what COVID did is it took a lot of legacy. I'll say organizations could be the New York Times could be CNN, could be the show could be the seeds of staples, could be the big, the big networks, the staples. Yeah, the stuff you grow up with. And they hurt their reputations horribly. They made people question them and they gave rise to all these other entities. And then when the stuff like the Russell Brand stuff starts coming out, then it's kind of like, Are they going after him? Because he's talking about vaccine establishment, anti-big pharma and A. A. Legacy media and stuff. Are they now trying to trying to control? Are they trying to control and trying to? He's he's thrown off a YouTube, even though there's no trial, no convictions. Have you guys seen bad money? Oh, it's the game about that. It's the GameStop. Right, right? You don't think that scares the s**t out of the establishment that this one guy literally got on the internet and said, Let's all buy this stock. Right? And it literally I mean, they ended up hitting the movie's amazing, by the way. He ends up in Senate. And they're going over what happened here. And he's like, I just went viral and all these kids were like, Yeah, I'm buying GameStop, right? And I'm buying GameStop, and that doesn't scare the s**t out of people where it's like, No, we all can talk now. Yeah, I think so. My kind of. Bird's eye view from 30000 feet on this whole thing is I feel like California. The government CDC, Fauci, Rochelle Walensky, that the whole the whole crew, CNN, just the whole cabal. When they started to feel like they were losing their grip on on their subjects. And what they needed to do at that point is loosen their grip a little bit. But they tried to tighten it. So they were kind of losing the faith of of the people and in California, and they went harder into the lockdown. So it'd be like, I'm I'm a stepdad and my stepdaughters. Curfew is 10:00 o'clock, even though she's a senior in high school and then someone saying to me, But that's just going to get her to lie and say, she's sleeping, going out anyway. And I go and I went the nine o'clock train and made a clock. If she's not in this house, by the time the streetlights come on, I have what I needed to do at that point is go, I'm reasonable. We can do midnight right now, but you got to communicate. But we didn't do that. We started trying to arrest people who didn't get vaccinated. We started to lie to people about after this ramp started f**king arresting people in the bay for what? For fishing, a large fishing alone. The one Mexican who wanted to go f**king serve with a f**king spark plug that back had to stay in that apartment and catch COVID, rather than get some vitamin D and some salt. So by itself, with this spark plug, I believe that we've become one big high school. Yes, it's one big high school. And if you are running on a treadmill and you fall and your pants get pulled off and back in the day, nobody knew that happened. Hmm. Except for the people in the gym, they were like, Oh, remember Becky? Yeah, that's f**king dumb, Becky, you know? But now it's on camera. It goes viral, and all of us are in on it. Yes. You know, the fight that happened at the the chair, you know, the the riverboat doc? Yeah, nobody would have seen that s**t now. Now there's T-shirts on chairs. Venus is a symbol. Yeah. We're all talking about something that happened a tiny moment. A million miles away from us, right, and we all we're all I know, I remember. And you remember when that happens, it's this giant high school. Well, not only is it weird, but. We're and we're not wired for this. It's not good for us. Number one. Number two, I don't know where people get such f**king strong opinions about this. I was just arguing with comedian Ernie Adams about the soccer kiss and the Spanish finals. Yeah. Your thought about that should be. I don't f**king know. I to celebrate whatever they celebrate. People get f**king dug in work. They've got the f**king worked up. They have opinions. I have opinions too, but my opinions are, who the f**k cares? Which is not really an opinion. It's me telling you to f**king take your opinion and f**king holster your opinion. Just the wrong opinion to people, then. But it's all right. It's the same people that have the energy to watch my standup special, then go, f**king hated it. Now I'm going to get on the comments, right? And like, I don't have that kind of energy. I don't have that kind of right. That's why I go, Well, that sucked and I f**king move on. And that's what I mean. I don't have time to go, Oh, I need to let them know why Adam Carolla sucks. I listen to more episodes and it was garbage. That's all chick. It's all chick. Think chicks endless capacity to talk about nothing and less and less. I get so mad that things that happened that have nothing to do with anything that don't affect anyone. My wife, valedictorian, my wife, NYU. OK. Wow. Extremely intelligent. Every night when we go to bed f**king Real Housewives. Oh yeah. And I look at her and I go, You are an intelligent human being and you're watching this bulls**t because it's chick thing. Yeah, they love the f**kin drama. The Circle's talking nothing. Oh s**t. I'm just sitting there looking at her going. You are a smart, educated woman watching this. I'm over there trying to watch documentaries. I'm reading that night. And she's up here. f**king I go. This is mindless. I'm a yes, it's f**king garbage. They are aquarium b***h. b***h, do I listen? It's unbelievable. The fact that she can say, I don't want to defend, I don't defend her, but I will say I watch nonsense, but I watch it. It's like a sociologist, like I'm trying to study society and who these comments are and what's going on. Why? Why? But here's what I'm saying, and this is the this is the zone we're living in now. Let's see if I can think of a an example. Dawson, you can look for I don't know why, but on my Twitter feed, my feed today, I heard Trevor Noah was interviewing a trans activist, right? And it was just it was a clip. I think I may have favored it, it or like, but that's another thing we can say. Let's get foreigners that are not from here to do political shows and s**t on America for us. Oh, I love. That's what I hate. Trevor Noah the most because I hate when people come from a place that's got way more problems than we had it. Just South Africa. And by the way, you know, who else does this? It takes a certain kind of bravado to come here from a place where they have real like ethnic cleansing and s**t going on and then come over here and just s**t all over while you're millionaire, by the way. Just come over here and s**t all over our government and our way of life, which Trevor Noah could go. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes. It's unbelievable. The worst is Charlize Theron Theron. Oh, she comes here, Theron, Theron, and she comes here from South Africa. She adopts like three black kids and then announces their many cities she won't take her kids to because they're in danger because we're that racist. Meanwhile, the b***h never names the cities, right? Never. Here's the whole thing now everybody, right? If you ever had to talk s**t city names right on Roanoke, Virginia, right? Like you name the f**king Muncie, Indiana, that's where f**king cities best guy in Montana. That's right. Place Glenwood, Montana in Montana. You f**king name the place. Don't just give us. We're such a racist nation. You can't, by the way, your kids are staying at the f**king four seasons. You remember real sports where your kids could go to a black neighborhood. In one of those, I'm watching real sports. They're doing this whole thing about soccer. Ah, I'm sorry, football, where if there's a black player on the field, they will throw bananas on the field? Yes, I saw that. You saw that and I'm thinking to myself, and we're racist. Oh, I mean, because instead, this is like they're in jerseys. It's like in pain. I think in Spain, I think that literally they she's still doing a corner kick and he's getting pelted with bananas. I talked about on the show and you're sitting there going and we're we're the we're the bad ones. Yeah. And it's it's it's insane. But meanwhile, my son is wearing a Dak Prescott jersey, right? Right. I mean, you know, my dad, my son's like that. I love him. He's my favorite quarterback. OK, we'll get you a jersey. He's not. I'm not like, Hey, son, we should be throwing bananas. Is what we have right now. We're the bad ones did. It's insane. They act like we invented slavery. They act like we invented racism. We somehow pioneered everything. They all think we have a f**king time machine, right? We don't have a time machine back to your wife, though. But back to that b***h, the I don't the mindless TV. I don't mind. It's when these people run for office and then they get elected and they go right back into this mindless circle. Chick talk. It's just circle talk. You can't. Kamala Harris. I think you can also find a clip. I think she was asked about her stance on abortion or something. It's like just circle, just circle talk. When we come together, then we're better together. And there's always a seat at the table and we need I. We need I dream of a place of unity and a horrible bad boy, and no child should be left behind. And it's like, just just that's you screaming about sanctuary cities. You need to build shelters batch, right? Look, you can't just circle talk. It's telephone, it's f**king tofu, which is the white man's cactus gringos kak gringos. It's a dildo. All right, we will try to find this The Trevor Noah clip, which I saw like tweets I saw this morning. Yeah, I found that as if it's like it's like six minutes long. It's just the beginning. OK. It's just I think he's still doing The Daily Show. Is that still? I don't know. I didn't know he was doing it, but maybe it's old. This is like, I don't know, Canadian transgender man who claims to be a woman who is going to try to talk to you about the movement. And if you're just here, there's one big, long circle talk. Well, we'll take a break. We'll do it after this. Well, I love a man in a uniform. A little lady in uniform as well. I love uniforms. It's kind of why I think I was attracted to playing Pop Warner Football. Anyway, let me tell you about lands and business. 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That's Business Dot Land's End.com/ Adam promo code at them for 20 percent off. Dive into true crime on Pluto TV. Unravel the mysteries with forensic files and 48 hours investigate crimes with Dateline 24, seven and Unsolved Mysteries with thousands of free crime movies and TV shows. Pluto TV is the true home of crime. Download the Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming. True crime on live channels and on demand Pluto TV. Stream now. Hey, never, never before have we lived in a time where science and medicine have been so vital at Eli Lilly and Company, we use groundbreaking science to create medicines that make life better for people around the world. Our manufacturing campus in Limerick will play a key role in Lilly's global mission of continuous innovation. We're now recruiting for new roles in science, engineering, quality assurance and quality control. Find your place at Lilly Limerick. Visit Careers dutLea Lidcombe and search Limerick. In honor of Jim Carolla's 90 second birthday, here's a list of all the things Adam Carolla will do before he dies. Play bass in an all black band, be the only white guy and whisper something onstage to a conga player and then laugh. Just one of the things Adam will do before he dies. Let's get back to the Adam Carolla show. All right. Steve Trevino in the studio. Very funny comedian got podcasts, got dates and you can go to Steve Trevino dot com and you can find out where he's going to be, and you can listen to his podcast Steve Ravina at Torino and Captain Evil wherever you find, find our podcast. So this Trevor Noah things a year old, but I just saw it today doesn't really matter when it's from, but I don't know what. It's a Canadian, so this is a Veronica. I've a Canadian competitive cyclist and transgender rights activist. I want glasses that lets everybody know that I'm a pain in the f**king a*s. Can you find us? If you are on top of the satellite that is f**king up Steve's wife's nav, I want you to be able to see that I'm gay from outer space, or I want to make sure people know that I have a f**king problem with everything, right? That's what they strength these frame say. I disapprove of everything that happened before me. That's what I that's what this frame say. In 2018, she became the first transgender world track cycling champion by placing first at the UCI Women's Masters Championship for the women's 35 to 44 age bracket. Built like a truck, by the way, former dude. And by the way, because we can't add former dude, dude, but I don't know for you, she still has her junk. Oh yeah, she might have, right? Here's that, but we're not allowed to ask anymore. But here's here's her explanation of the trans scene. This issue, people like to say that it's a complicated issue, and I don't think it is. I think it's very simple. It all boils down to do you actually think that trans women and intersex women are real women and are really female or not? And if you do, it's very simple. Just stop policing who counts as a real woman because this has had history of racism built into it over the years. It's not an accident that the intersex athletes who get singled out are women of color from the global south because who gets singled out for scrutiny is based on white women's conceptions of femininity, and that's being weaponised against trans people, too. So it's a fear of protecting the fragile, weak, cis white woman from the rest of us. So, all right, I have no f**king idea what this picture dude just said, but that a really simple. It's a simple solution that is circle talk. That is the definition of I watch it three times. I don't know what she says. I don't know what happened. All right. But her beer belly, it'll keep going because she's got another round of circle circle talk. And here, because Trevor kind of says what we're all thinking, which is, Yeah, but what about chicks? What about dudes saying they're chicks and then competing with chicks? That's so, so. Audience applause. People should be put that said, put down, which I appreciate, so let's try to break them down. One thing that confuses me personally is it seems like we have discussions about who should participate in which category and how, you know, on the face of it, it seems simple, as you say. You know, if somebody identifies as a woman, they're transgender. They can compete against women who are born biologically and and then if not, then not. But then there are many who would argue who are not transphobes. There are many who were born biologically women who say, but you have an unnatural advantage over me, and that makes the sport unfair. How do you how do you respond to that, by the way? Lots of ways you can respond. It's so comical that the chick has 30 pounds of muscle. Yeah, the dude trimmer know. Like, you're kind of you're kind of shooting your own f**king foot when you're making your point because your upper body is much bigger than Trevor. No. Listen, bro. Listen, dude. That's right. How do we get into this Slim Jim? And then I'll tell you, Trevor Brown. And by the way, listen, brother, you can like this answer. I can snap you like f**king kindling. All right, b***h. Can you ever grow a beard? You f**king pussy? That's right. If you can't lend your mind, which I threw out a very simple answer from that. These are tits, dude. That's right. To that, yeah, there's lots of ways you can respond to that. So the first is the very language of you were born and I'm not biological somehow. Like, I don't think I'm a cyborg. So like the idea that like, Oh, you're not a biological woman while I am a woman, that's a fact. I am female. So all my identity records, my racing license, my medical records all say female, right? I'm pretty sure I'm made of biological stuff, so I'm a biological female as well. So this question of do trans women have an advantage over cis women? We don't know. In fact, when you just won the cycling championship? Well, how high were you ranked when you were competing against men, dudes? Right, right? And then you just took on the cycling champion in the way. So we do we do know something, right? Well, the men beat me because I'm a chick. That's why they beat me. Jesus Christ. So confused. The idea that they are just sitting around and talking about this endlessly. This is more chick what they do. It's a real discussion. As they interview, they introduce something that's insane. And then we just have endless amounts of time to argue about it. That's all. Then there's the legislation of We need three bathrooms and we need women to be able to go who are men who identify as women to be going. And then it's like it just could be talking about the border could be talking about taxes, could be talking about education. No, we f**king are not. And we're going to argue about nothing for the rest of our lives. And if you missed gender me or don't use the correct pronouns to stop the argument, then we're going to argue about the pronouns 100 percent check that that's exactly the way me and my wife are you. And it's why I go to my wife and I go, I have an issue and she'll go, Well, let me tell you what's wrong with you, right? Well, whenever we want to talk about what's wrong with you? But here's the thing. You can you can take the c**k in the balls and throw them right in a wood chipper, but you still take that feminine brain that likes to argue. You still take that, that brain. All right. Throw the dick and balls in a chipper. But guess what? All right. Should we do a little news, Chris? Yeah, we can do that. So let's kick. Oh, wait, I think we have Kamala Harris this. Non non-answer. So basically, what they're doing is they're saying to politicians, look, you've got to come up with a time if you're into abortion, but you don't want abortion in the third trimester or when the kid's crowning or whatever, then what's what's the cutoff? What's the date? Is it 15 weeks? Is it 20 weeks? Is it 12 weeks? Like, what's what is what is your which? I think every politician should have to do. Everyone, if you want to talk about abortion, you can say I'm totally against abortion. Or you can say I'm for abortion, for victims. Or, you know. Yeah. Abortions into the kids heads coming out of the vagina. Go ahead and stand at the back of the neck. Or you have if if it's not one or the other, then you have to pick a week. If you go, OK, nothing pass this, which always makes sense to me because I'm all for the morning after pill. You know the dude didn't pull out. You were drunk fine morning, morning after pill, but at some point that thing becomes viable. Right? And then you're killing somebody. And this answer, which Newsom gives, it's like it's between a mother and the doctor. No, it's not. You can't. Hey, I'm going to go find a doctor and go like, I'm thinking about killing my wife. Do you agree? Yes, I do. All right. Well, it's between me, me and my physician. It's going to suck when my mom's like, Yeah, you know, I'm done with this guy, right? Like, wow, like, all right. All right. Well, listen to our Face the Nation answer. So what? What is it that you believe? I mean, what week of pregnancy should abortion access be cut off? We need to restore the protections of Roe versus Wade, which we're not trying to do something new. Well, that nebulous because it was about viability, which could be anywhere between 20 to 24 weeks. And but so. No, no, no, no, no. That's let that let me be very the Women's Health Protection Act that let me be let me be very, very clear that did you just ask me a direct question? Asked, How many weeks don't you close down with your direct question? Yeah. Well, you need to pump the f**king brakes. Adam, with your f**king direct question is halting. I think there's a little more. She's so horrible. So let me be very the Women's Health Protection Act that let me be all. Let me be very clear from day one, the president has been clear. I have been clear we need to put back the protections that are in Roe v. Wade into law since the Supreme Court took it. Congress has the power and ability to pass legislation to put those protections back in law. And Joe Biden will sign that bill. So that is what we want. But does it need to be specific in terms of defining where that guarantee goes up to and where it does not which week of pregnancy? We need to put back in place the protections of Roe versus Wade we are now. I'm asking you this question because we're not trying it, but we're not trying to do anything that did not exist before June. What last? It's we are saying it wasn't crafted into law, and that's why I'm asking you for the specifics, because Republicans say the lack of a precise date in cutting it off. You know, this is, they say, that allows Democrats to perform abortions up until birth, which is ridiculous statistic, which is not accurate and it's ridiculous, and it's a mischaracterization of the point. No, the point is that's not the point. She's waving off questions like, don't sit down for the interview, b***h or have something in your f**king head that resembles an answer. That's the kind of stuff that you you ask the question. They do that s**t and then you lose your s**t. And then also they go, You're f**king crazy, right? Why are you acting crazy? You're f**king crazy. Made me crazy. You know what? The number one answer with chicks. You get into this big argument over a nothing burger right over nothing, and then at some point you go. I don't even want to argue about that. You don't want to argue. I don't want to argue. There you go. I don't want to argue and you go, like, I just asked you a question. That's all. You can answer it. But now we're here, now we're here. Now, we're over f**king here arguing about my tone. Well, what Kamala Harris needs to do is just go, I'm not going to answer that question, right? Yeah, but you can't just keep not answering. But I don't know, is is an appropriate question to answer. Yeah, because I don't know. I'm not going to answer. I don't. I don't. I don't know. I don't. Yeah, I don't have the answer to that. And I don't know. Right. All right. Well, f**k, we can move on. You obviously don't know. I just like that. The certain point when she knew the chick was going to ask for a fourth time, she started with the hand out, Hey, hey, hey b***h, knocked the f**king breaks. Who? Who do you think you are asking me questions? I know it was on Ask me. I came on this podcast. Adam, don't you dare f**king ask me a question. You can find dancing and find Gavin Newsom doing the exact same thing from 10 minutes ago to which is which is funny. I'm now. I just. But listen. There's going to be. When you teach journalism at German Journalism School now, it can't be the same curriculum that it was 40 years ago, you have to go, these a*****es are not going to answer the question the first five times you asked. You have to ask a seventh time and have five different ways of asking and asking the same. They will not question answer, which is literally the definition of insanity. Yes. I keep asking you a question expecting different results, and you don't give me different f**king results. This is now crazy. All right. Do we have some news? Max Payne Yeah. So there's just a clip that went viral recently. And I'm glad. I'm glad you're here, too. By the way, your hair line is fantastic, Jesus Christ. I know that a f**kin helmet from chips. It's a lot. It's a lot of hair I know you appreciate. It's fantastic. Yes, I've got Caesar. He's a family man, so I want to get his thoughts on this too. So there's this video clip that went viral about a mom who is really excited about her son playing a football game and she hugs him after the game and then her friend films the embrace. And she posted on her Instagram gets about 10 million views on her personal Instagram. People are talking about this, so here's the clip So her son's 15, she jumps into her son's arms and he's calm and everyone's like, Whoa, what's it like? Everyone is really bothered by this. They're not really bothered. That's my my new theory is whether it's the Spanish football soccer coach or the hot mom jumping on the Sun. I don't think anyone is really bothered by. I just don't. You said the key word hot mom. Yeah, very hot, mom. She was if she was a fat slob and jumped on her son, oh, if she looked like right, we would not be having this conversation. She looked like the chick who is being interviewed by Trevor Noah. The first off the son would be in the hospital. Get your chest. Nobody wants to get your balls off, my god. Thanks, my mom. I feel more uncomfortable now that your dicks bigger than mine. Yeah, that's what it is. It's that she looks. She she looks good. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thousands and thousands of people complaining about it. Even the son got into the comments, too. What does the son say? Said, How about you leave my mom alone? She's never abused me or done anything sexual with me or my friends are grown me. She's my mom. She is my hero. The video of us hugging was a hug. Go bother someone else and maybe hug your own kids. You all need Jesus. Damn. Wow. Hi Jesus, mom. She is hotter. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my god. There you go. Very. She's very attractive. Yeah. So she's jumping on her and this poor kid, too, that people don't realize this kid goes to school every day. He has to deal with this, and his buddies are like, Dude, your mom? Yeah, her tits, bro. You know, and then now all of a sudden they're like, Yeah, now your mom's boning. You like, yeah, poor guy. Yeah. But again, if she wasn't hot. It's a non-issue. Yeah, you're right, but I mean, look, I had a friend who who lip kissed his dad goodbye when his daughter dropped him off till he was like freshman in high school was at that soccer coach from Spain. I know I kissed my son on the lips all the time. Oh yeah, I did a lot when I when he was a kid. He was, but he was sweet. Something is very, you know, three years old, four years. He's very sweet natured. You know, like, you could give a guy kids around me, kids around you just this week. He's a sweet kid. I do, and I hug him. And. Well, that was all that. Our brains work the same because I was about to say the same things you might. My my son is almost eight. He jumps on my lap and hugs me, and I just think to myself, we're getting very close to him not wanting to hug me. Mm hmm. And if you're a parent, I'd love hugging my kids. I love squeezing on them. I love cuddling. You know, on the sofa, watching football are with my. My daughter loves Moana. We sit on the sofa together. I love squeezing on her. And there is going to come a time where my son is going to be like, Hey, dude, like, don't. And I just, you know, and enjoy my account and my wife saying, I don't care. I'm hugging. I'm forever. Yeah, I'll jump on. But she can. Yeah, yeah, she's definitely a MILF. And I was thinking about it. I mean, she can have a better shooter. You would hate it. You would. Hey, we Mexicans like a big caboose. And we do like to see the fart tank. We call them on the construction site, but can't cut her off. She forever provider no hands. Got to want us to get in that turd cutter. So bad, the butt. So this guy has to take a ribbing from his friends because his mom called our MILF. Oh, you know what I mean? And I was thinking, MILF is is bad, but it's what mother I'd like to f**k. Yeah, yeah, right. American Pie is, well, it's bad as bad, but middens is worse. That's mom. I did. f**k, all right. You throw you throw a d in there and it gets a lot f**king worse. You lose some friends away. All right. Well, speaking of f**king, we got some with this abortion talk. I don't know the answer. So I figure this. He's going to be very clear. He'll be very clear. Well, the thing I like about Kamala Harris, she goes. Let me make myself clear, or I've been clear that you have not just set a goal. Yeah. Can you be clear about what does that mean after birth abortion, after it's made up? It's a political. Can you just be clear about what limits on abortion should be? It's a political thing. People are not seeking abortion. What is what is the policy? What should it be? The policy? It's not up to Donald Trump or me. It's up to you, to women that have to bear that responsibility uniquely and distinctively. And the reality is it's a canard. It's a political fight. It's total B.S. and it's exactly where they need to go because they know they've gone too far. There has to be. Well, let me just talk about your state of California. As you well know, there is a law in books that preceded you that says that you can have an abortion up until viability, which is about 24 weeks. That's right. Is that something that you that in statute in the state of California? That said, there was a constitutional amendment that we placed on the ballot that that has some nuance in it. And so that's an area that's been adjudicated in public opinion and likely will ultimately be repeated. Is it the government's role then? I know you said it's up for women that decision, so there should be nothing on the books. This is this is a cannot. This is a false flag. This is where they need to go. There's five minutes of not answering the question created. Just give me a number. They don't believe in fundamental choice and freedom for women. They don't period full stop. And this issue is as false. This is a political issue. And so with respect, I'm not surprised that Donald Trump is saying this. This is exactly what you hear every single one of them say next week down at the Reagan Library. And at the end of the day, those examples are so extreme, so rare when you have when you are literally viability issues that are deeply personal and painful. Others have said, How do you learn to talk like you picked out the name? You have to spend a lot of time with terrible decision and you have to pack your junk between your legs for political purposes. I don't know which one of these is their training. I mean, honestly, you're listening very carefully. How is she going to if you're going to answer? All right. Let's just say what you're saying. Yeah. You do not believe it is the role of government nationally or for state government to have to have any limits on the books legally in the state of California, as long believed in viability. I've long believe in viability we went for with a constitutional amendment that's created some questions as it relates to this. My my point is no one wants to see the late, late term abortions. No is out there promoting that. That's what the Democratic Party's position is. No, my personal position is in those. Rare and extremely rare. All right. They won't give a number. He won't answer the f**king question. Dodging a vote, by the way, talent. That's what's impressive. He came in here for an hour and did it. It was awesome talent to be able to do an hour of f**king bulls**t like he pulled it off, though you didn't pull it off. I don't know that he just looked like a giant r****ded person with me. Andrea Mitchell, whoever softball. CNN, you know, f**king cheerleader, first party there. They'll let them get away with it, right? I didn't do it. Just eight is lunch. I wish it didn't seem like he made sense when he was on this show after anyone heard that. But why is the younger generation not getting into politics? Well, first off, who would want their garbage and their dirty laundry just scattered? Well, first off, why would you look? I would run, but literally. Well, also, if you're going to get into politics and you're thinking about being a Republican, you're just going to get called a racist homophobe and a sexist and that that'll be it like and they'll dig up anything you ever said or thought or wrote in any yearbook from high school. Yeah, elementary elementary. Now, my dear Watson. All right. Let's take a quick break. Come back. We'll finish off the news right after this. Let me tell you about Angie homeowners. You know, it's a lot of work down a home, whether it's everyday maintenance repairs or dream projects. It can be hard even know where to start. All you need is Angie your home for everything home. Find a skilled local pro who will deliver quality and experience over 20 years of home service experience. 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They got it all. Riley carries a full line of batteries to help you power your way through work and play, no matter what you drive. Turn the key with confidence, even in the harshest environments and toughest conditions for power performance and reliability. Choose Super Start batteries exclusively at your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store. Never before have we lived in a time where science and medicine have been so vital at Eli Lilly and Company, we use groundbreaking science to create medicines that make life better for people around the world. Our manufacturing campus in Limerick will play a key role in Lilly's global mission of continuous innovation. We're now recruiting for new roles in science, engineering, quality assurance and quality control. Find your place at Lilly Limerick. Visit Careers Dot Lilly dot com and search Limerick. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Ace, you know, if you're a postal worker in Enid, Oklahoma, it's a very low chance that day to day that you're ever going to hop into a body of water, dive into a body or with a knife in your teeth. However, don't you let the sea quite often paddle boarding, kayaking? What do you out there doing? Why not strap a, you know, a fixed blade to your ankle? Their chances will go up, that's for sure, man. Next work on the case. You can leave us a message at eight eight eight six three four one seven four four. Steve Trevino in Studio Yeah. All I can think about is the guys doing the surf fishing. Next was the Spark Plug and know what. Next time I'm walking on the beach and see of those Mexican surf fishing, we see your f**king weight in his jeans. Reel it in. I'll make up. I'll I'll get like a fake badge. You know what I mean? Wildlife Inspector State of California. How did that come about? Oh, all right. All right. What is that? That's a Delko sparkplug that's been fouled. All right, buddy, you going back the receipt? Get your a*s back. It's your f**king people are why people are here to enjoy the sea. You have a house to build tomorrow, right? You're selling some stock on stacks of cinder blocks. Let's go and watch some wife b***h at you for your job. I've been. I've been surveilling. You've been out here for seven hours. There's nothing in that pocket. f**king zero zero zero. But then you also see him on the freeway and the fishing pole is going out the window. Oh yeah, you know you'll see that like no truck, right? No gear, just a fishing pole out the f**king window and his Carolla. Yeah, just cruising back home. And that that was his f**king ploy. It's like the deuce going go on bachelor parties and take golf clubs. I think I think you're right, they're not golf and they're f**king but honey, we're going to Vegas to play golf. You've stumbled onto something which is surf fishing. Maybe the Mexicans golf and that guy's tall just to f**king get out of the house, not to hear anything. Have a drawn on no one. If you said your wife, I'm going golfing, she's not going to call you in 45 minutes. So why aren't you back it? Look, it's all. It's all day you're going to drink during the day that's going to be judged. That's why I started smoking because I'd go, I want a break and they would go, I go, they get a break and they go, That's a smoke break, right? And I'm like, Well, now I smoke. Yeah, but I knew I was going to have a smoke break and then that boom. Now I'm a smoker, but I thought it was never a fisherman. I think I think the Mexican, it's Mexican golf. It's free golf, and all they need is one one pole, one pole. At one point, they're f**king good. We can't block. They put on What are you going to do with that spark plug? I'll throw it away. Matt Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, man. He's got his little set in a little case. And oh yeah, look babe. Yeah, look at my laws. He's got em. He's got them on his hat. Yeah, he's got stuck. There was that he puts his construction helmet on with a spark, plugs the leaf blower, foul the plug last week and now I got my knock out on there. I'm going fishing. Nah, nah, I'm going fishing. Yeah, where my fishing genes get my fishing slacks. I've never my dress. I've never seen any of these dudes in trunks. They do not own swim trunks the most. Though never seen a Mexican swim, the most I'll do is the cutoff jeans. They'll cut them off right below the knee. Yeah, like shipwreck style. Like not even Daisy, do you know, but still belt? Yeah. Belt Belt. Yeah, they need to be able swim in blue jeans. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, You know what I'm saying, sir? I'm saying, like, there was a time where if you needed some swim trunks, you'd have to go down to the Val surf and buy some OAP's or something. Thirty three bucks an hour. But today's Amazon world, where there's board shorts for eight dollars, there is no market for Mexicans to be with the jeans and then the sand gets all them and they get all f**king wet and then they go, sit in the sand in the West. Like, just how f**king uncomfortable can you make your picture one Christmas him getting a pair of swim trunks and crying like, Yeah, I finally got what I needed. Yeah, like, I just can't imagine. Why wouldn't you just? f**king by some swim trunks, guy. I don't let that in your repertoire. I don't you can wear the same ones for years. I think it's I think it's cultural. No, I don't want the built in underwear I put. I don't want the bulls**t, right? We brought Josie from the shop. Old guys working on cars. And we brought them with us to Pebble Beach one year about three years ago. And we're like, Josie, you can come with us, but we're going to be going to the quail, which is like a $1500 ticket upscale event. We're going to be going to the Acura party and the Bentley Party. These are high end commercial lines out $10 million house the whole thing. Model serving drinks. Ozzy, you've got to bring a shirt with buttons on, please. You've gotta bring a funny. It's got to have a collar on it. We can't go to the party with you in your black T-shirt and then we get to the f**kin Pebble Beach, or we're all getting ready to head out and everyone's got the blazer on itself. A hose. A country's got a black T-shirt, right? Got Jose. And he's like, This is my good block. This is my the one without gravy. And I tapped it in. I tucked it in. So I'm fat and it's like, you don't have a shirt with a collar like a button on just something like Old Navy, Old Navy, polo type. $14 something. And it's like, I think it's just a cultural thing. It's like I am wearing a black t shirt to the Rolls-Royce party. If my dad was getting dressed up, he was tucking it in. That was that was the dress that I got to be in front of the judge. Yeah, I'll take my t shirt church and tuck it in. Yeah. Charles Bronson style Typekit this crazy tuck. And it's actually to see when I would go to the beach. Like with my Mexican friends, they were shirts. There were shirts into the ocean, shirts and jeans straight on. f**k it, it's so weird is weird. And I wonder why I wonder what it is and it is heavy, but I mean, my dad, I'm telling you, tuck it in. And that was him getting dressed up top the ActionScript. Maybe I should start an outreach or you never know who you're going to get in a fight, you know, and you got to talk. Maybe when I'm looking at these guys lures with their spark plugs, I should offer them some counseling. Must talk to them a little bit. Talk to them about Trump. Have you heard of these? Wow, there's something now I want you to sit down or, hey, there's something called velcro. It's going to f**king blow. You're going to blow your mind. I know. But zippers, as soon as you get out, you'll get out of the dry. They've got pockets in it pocket. It's a mesh. The mesh. You could put the spark plugs in your pocket. It's going to be awesome. But does it have for my belt? Look, there's no belt, though. You can wear this out. You're not getting it. You're not f**king yeah. And my belt buckle. You're not. Where am I going to put my wallet? We have swim shirts there, like the shirt you're wearing into the sea, but they're made to go to the ocean. They drive sunblock comfortable. It's crazy. Crazy. I'm good. You're being aggressive. OK, I'm black. And hey, put on. Let me get my how many years you been fish in here? Yeah. How many years? Thirty third ever got anything? Never. OK. But I'm saying, Are you sure this isn't just an excuse to go? I only catch a bus, but thank God you got your old lady that machete. You guys should be going hungry. Killing an iguana. I, you find an iguana. It's Cactus Man. Yeah. All right. So does it. All right. Well, I'm so glad you got an electric vehicle now, Adam. Oh, I heard you about talking about that. The gas is six. I bet. 6:40 It's six seven. It's it's seven bucks in Malibu. It is seven f**king dollars a gallon. Have you seen the new Hummer? GMC Hummer electric and gorgeous? Yeah, yeah. What are you driving? What kind of geisha are you driving? I got an Audi. Oh, the Audi doesn't know. Yeah. Pure electric. So Cadillac's going pure electric in twenty twenty five. Everything like does is going. Although, yeah, yeah. My wife wanted one. I go, Honey, you forget to put f**king gas, right? And there's gas stations on every corner. Right. I live in Texas. There's very few stations like the electric charging stations. There's very few. I'm like, Honey, I'm going to get the phone call on the road, how you know, I'm stuck and get a gas vehicle for now. Yeah, she'll let her crash her own gas to crash her own Land Rover. I was out to dinner or someone who moved to Texas, and they're like, Why do you hate L.A.? And I'll go, I'll just give you an example. We pay the most in taxes, we pay the highest gas prices. We have the worst roads in the country. I could keep going, but what else do you really need to know the most in gas and that money? The big taxing tax is supposed to go to the roads. Most in gas with the worst run documented worse roads in America. What else do you need to know about how the state is run? We pay. The gas was free in California. It's still be $2. Right? That's f**king insane. You know that we're going to give you the gas. Yeah, it's still two dollars worth of tariffs and levies and taxes. Meanwhile, I'm buying premium in Texas for what am I? Ran out three, three bucks, three and a half. And speaking of the poor Mexican, where are they? I was like, I was in lock in the out of California a few months back and this Mexican had this big Dodge RAM pickup truck and it had a trailer on it and it had was filled with branches. And this guy just did a major tree pruning. Whatever this f**king sled is getting four miles to the gallon at least, and this guy's just sitting there filling it up, killing, killing six bucks a gallon. This is a few months back, but I mean, this poor Mexican guy's got cost. One hundred and forty dollars can fill his truck up. Yeah, it's kicking the s**t out of the poor people. Rich people drive Teslas. Rich people work from home. Rich people don't have a gardeners truck filled with equipment going, by the way. They don't live in Beverly Hills. They drive there from popcorn and they sit there and go, Well, why does it cost so much to just cut my trees? Right, motherf**ker? I have one hundred and fifty dollars gas bill out the gate. Yeah, yes, that's my cost. I'm not f**king great. Yeah, I can't make any money around him. r****ds. It's unbelievable. I look, I made the mistake of talking great about Texas. It's terrible. It's horrible. Don't don't move there. Every piece of s**t, snowstorms. It's one hundred and five. Don't come. It's come everybody in my neighborhood that has moved in in the past two years. All California. Yeah, all of them. That's right. Every one of them, my neighbor, they're f**king up. It's not that people don't want to live in California. California is an amazing state. Excessive, you f**k it up. Enough people will leave and that's what's happening. And they're doing that to the old people, right? They're starting to tax these, these retirement, and they're going, Hey, I'm going to get the f**k out of that kind of money. I got it. I mean, it's I lived here for 14 years. I got in a hit and run well, not a hit and run I got. They ran a red light. They hit me and my wife. We got out. They clearly hit me. I end up getting sued by the driver. I mean by by the passenger of the driver. They hit me right. We got sued by him. They hit us right. I go, but they hit us. They go, Well, they're both illegal. Neither one of them have insurance, and I'm like, Well, I'm like, Wait a minute. Yeah, and I'm getting sued. Yes, happened a friend of mine. What the f**k is happening right now? Oh yeah, that was when I left. Yeah, I told my wife, I go, by the way, the law is on their side. That's how California rolls. That's how California roll. I got hit right, right? That's out by somebody that didn't have a dog. You pay taxes, you're f**ked. That's how it's unbelievable. Absolutely. And that's when I left. I said I got to go back home. And I mean, you know, I grew up in Texas. I'm a Texas guy. My parents, I want my kids to have grandparents, you know, so my my parents are always over and they must love the cactus. Oh my man. I mean, I love it to they gene's beach. They do the whole thing and they go out there and I remember my my, my father in law walks around our neighborhood and he he comes in one day and he goes, Man, they're going to think this Mexican won the lottery. And I pointed out my face like a motherf**ker. You did? Yeah. Your daughter has a nice s**tter. And that's what got you in this neighborhood. You're welcome. You're welcome. Be ironic when other states start building walls for California. For Californians, someone who makes me laugh the most is when I hear about, you know, California friends like Steve. I'm moving to Texas. I go, Oh great, where Austin? We're not moving to Texas, right? And you're moving to Austin and you're going to recreate what you flat. It's already happening. It's already happening. It's not happening. Austin is a disaster, right? Because the hipster showed up with their circle talk chick. Thank God, f**k that. We don't need the police. We need community ambassadors. All right, here we go. It's on and we're inclusive. All I see is white people, right? I just see white people here. All right. Well, speaking of TV, so the Energy Secretary, Jennifer Granholm, last month, she was doing this four day road trip, you know, just that. Yeah, yeah. From from North Carolina, Tennessee. And so there's now been a report where while she's down the road trip, she calls one of her staffers. She got some range anxiety. Yeah, she was. Hey, I'm running, I'm running out of juice. I need you to meet me at the next charging station and and hold the spot for me so I can charge my car. So her staffer goes, drives her regular car, her gas powered car, gas powered car waits in the spot and there's a line of people trying to charge the car. They call 9-1-1 on this staffer who is holding port for four staff or because she's just doing what the fox is doing. Well, I've been told I do. And yeah, it gets 9-1-1 call then. Yeah. How much of a possible? How much of an a*****e are you that you're like, Oh, I'm on a road trip. I need you to be now on a road trip right now so that you can park in a spot. So I don't have to get in line like the average people. And if there is, and I've told everyone there is range anxiety because I went for Malverde, I heard you talking about, well, I had no idea of 90 miles away with a full charge of three hundred when I got there is 150. I didn't know that. You know what? It's what they don't tell you what they need to tell you when you buy an electric car, which is if you're just driving around the city, the range will be about accurate. But if you think you're driving highway to Vegas at eighty five miles an hour, it's not. It'll. Here's what it'll be like. It'll be like See if you've got a thousand dollars in your account and you're in your savings account, so you go, OK, I'll take out one hundred bucks. OK, now you have $700 left, like when you're going to what? And then you go, OK, I'll take out another hundred bucks. Now you have three, you have $300 left in your savings account and you're like, Wait a minute. It said, I had a thousand in there and all I did was took out two hundred. Yeah, I know you're down to three hundred. You better put some more money in this account. Why do we have rangefinder? But does the computer tell you that? No. Say like you go 70. You have this computer doesn't really adjust for it. The computer goes, You got Willow Springs is 90 miles away. You got three hundred miles range. You get you get there. You've scrubbed off one hundred and fifty miles off the range. But it doesn't say if you drive this fast right now, you'll get the you'll get it in that if you get into the city and you get on the break and you do stuff like that, it'll it'll zip it. It'll be much more different, much different. But they don't. And maybe it works out to three hundred if you do the say and then do the whatever. But the anxiety is, is you got three hundred range. Vegas is two hundred and eighty one miles away. You ain't f**kin getting to Vegas. There's no way you're getting to Vegas with their three hundred, even though Vegas is 278 right here, right? Right. So I had the the Chevy Volt when I lived here had the Chevy Volt. You do the f**king you can do the carpool right, you get the whole thing. But what I liked about the Chevy Volt is that you had 50 miles battery and then it kicked in the gas. Right, right. Yeah. So you were able to go, All right. Well, you know, I go to work and back sixty miles, then 10 miles of that is gas. That's right. Yeah. So that's better that it had that motor that would kick in for you, right, if you needed to. Right. But it just power alone. It's like, why not have to sit it f**king Bucky? Yeah. For how to have lunch here now people are waiting in line. And as I told everyone when I was heading back from Willow Springs to Corona California, which just gave me range anxiety, I had to stop at a charging thing and there was a f**king altercation, man. I heard you talking about it. You pulled out. I pulled right in, not knowing the line. First of its kind of unclear where you wait in line, because if you wait right behind the car that's charging, you'll block the parking lot off. There's a gas line. Yeah, yeah, there's a gap. And if you're coming in the other direction, you don't see the line. You slide in Iceland. And then some brother slid in when I slid out, and then he started screaming at the guy who was waiting in line like, it's going to happen, but you were like, Oh, it's Adam Carolla people. Good people who drive guy. f**k that piece of s**t. People who drive electric cars are pretty self-entitled kind of pieces of s**t already. So now it's the new pre. You're telling a dude who's driving an all electric car in Malibu back off and wait over there like there's going to be some, there's going to be some dust up. Yeah, it's a white privilege happening. Yeah, the good news is no one has a gun and no one knows how to kick a*s. And there's no high speed chase. You get my f**king regional range. I was thinking about the staff and reminded me of that story at that time where we were flying Southwest Adam Miller, you and his manager, Mike August, where we were getting on a flight. Southwest's open seating, right? But I didn't want to get on the plane early because he's he's having a drink or something, but he wanted me to go in there early and oh yeah, you got to plane to sink. Yeah, you just sit in the exit ramp, get the sit in the air, look extra brown and seats up. So I do that. I go, take your shirt off. I knew that's the bad idea. I go in there, I sit in the exit row and I lay my jacket out on the other two seats. And of course, the guy right behind is like, What are you doing? Are you one of those guys? I mean, I'm only seats. You can't do that. Yes, but just in the other. No, no, you can't just any goes to the flight and held on me, Southwest tells us hassles. Southwest is what I can't do that, you know, people go, Steve, you know? Yeah, it's fine. It's great of you. You get your model now. I'm boujee. I got to have the first cla*s. Yeah, I got to have it. I'm up there with my little meal. You know, the cookies are coming out. That's how I got to the chapel. But I took, I mean, as much as I travel, I want to be comfortable. You're right. You're there. You're there. You're right. I'm there every f**king weekend and I want more. All right. So there's this story out of northern Mississippi. It happened a little bit ago, but it's the mom is still mad. So there's this 10 year old boy, a black boy who was arrested and placed in a cell for peeing in a parking lot. Oh yeah, I heard about this one. Yeah. So what happened was so the mom had an appointment at a business with her son. The son was waiting outside and the south. Well, they saw a sign saying there's no public restroom, so he decided to pee on private property near their car. Mm hmm. Right. And then an officer was driving by spots the kid and and first said, like, Hey, you can't do that. The mom comes out. She admonishes her son and officer, the guy that's good enough, right? They thought the ordeal is over. Then four other officers, including in a lieutenant, arrived after that. And then the son was arrested, put in a police vehicle and taken to a police station. You know, we got to do with cops now is like when the NFL's rookies come to camp. They always have that guy who has explained to them like, Hey, no dick pics and use a condom and don't knock off common sense s**t when you're on the road. And there's a gal waiting in the lobby of the hotel, probably think about our tweets. Yeah, let's think about our tweets like there needs to every there needs, every police force needs officer optics and he needs to just go, look, man. First off, arresting nine year old black dudes for taking a pa*s. Not a good look. Not. It's not a good look. Yeah, and they could like, raise your hand and go, Yeah, but it violates classic penal code. Yeah, I understand. Better call me officer fixed. I'm wearing the frames that the guy was interviewed by Trevor Noah's wearing. Just like Jimmy, I know you want to arrest people. I know it's illegal to take a pass, but let's use some judge. But let's use some judgment. What happened was he saw his dick and was like this at 10:00. Not that he rolled over. It's like a spike strip. You got two flat tires had to pull over this one. The guy uncoil this cop, a black guys. Scott was on fire. He hit him like a spike strip, one tier from the white cop. Well, f**k that guy I pulled to the side of the road hazard. That's right. You put that big black dick away. All right. Happy note to go out on. Yeah. Steve Trevino, he has got a podcast. He's got live shows. He's going to be. It's a special and he's got specials on YouTube. Amazon Prime. Yeah. Steve Trevino Dotcom for all that live shows and go to Adam Carolla dot com for all my live shows coming up in Irvine. Brad Williams going to hang out on that one October 11th and we'll do a bunch of Cobb San Francisco 12 or 13 14 to do that. And until next time, Sam Cruller for Steve Trevino and Chris Mack's part of San Mahalla. The Adam Carolla show was recorded using road microphones visit our old Yukon and our music is provided by extreme music and extreme music. John Connolly This voicemail at eight six three four one seven four four and gives you to the XDA's man and Adam Carolla sitcom. 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Never before have we lived in a time where science and medicine have been so vital at Eli Lilly and Company, we use groundbreaking science to create medicines that make life better for people around the world. Our manufacturing campus in Limerick will play a key role in Lilly's global mission of continuous innovation. We're now recruiting for new roles in science, engineering, quality assurance and quality control. Find your place at Lilly Limerick. Visit Careers Dot Lily dot com and search Limerick.