B.E.E. - Kanye Part 2 - 11/25/13

Transcript

The nation's favorite car buying site, Dundeele Motors, is home to the largest range of new and premium used cars from all of Ireland's trusted car dealerships. That's why you'll find Spirit Volvo on Dundeele. Visit the Spirit Volvo showroom on Dundeehl to find your next car. Dundeehl Motors, for confident car buying and deals to feel great about from all of Ireland's trusted car dealerships. Visit dundeel.ie today. This is the second time I've talked to Gladys McGarry. Last year, she was a 102 years old. This year, she's a 103 years old. She wrote a book, The Well Lived Life, a 102 year old doctor's 6 secrets to health and happiness at every age, and it's coming out in paperback. And every time I read this book, I've read it twice now, and I talked to her. I almost feel like crying, and I don't really know why. It's almost as if she was born with wisdom, but then kept even growing for the next 102 years. Like, she drove a Ford Model a car, and now she's talking to me through, you know, Zoom on the Internet and going on podcasts, writing books. She's she's a doctor her whole life. She's been all over the world, had so many amazing experiences, also has suffered, of course, much loss. I don't think you're gonna live to be that age and not have an incredible amounts of loss that you have to learn to to move past and and still be positive and still live every day to its fullest, which I mean, we we like, Jay, we we got on Zoom with her, and she's like, oh, I'm getting over my tricycle accident. She had she was riding a tricycle, and it threw her off into the street, and she broke 3 ribs. Yeah. And she's now totally healed and on the podcast. And as Jay was saying right afterwards, boy, she's like a wise kung fu master. Well, anyway, I really look up to this woman a lot. Here's Gladys McCarrie. We have a great conversation about all sorts of things, and she's the author of the well lived life. This isn't your average business podcast, and he's not your average host. This is the James Altucher Show. How are you feeling? I'm feeling fine. I had that accident with a tricycle. Broke 3 ribs, but that's 5 5 weeks ago, and I'm all well. Wait a second. You had an accident with a tricycle. You broke 3 ribs. And, of course, any statement like that has to be followed with. And now you're a 103 or a 104 years old. How old are you? I'm a 103 still. Okay. I don't wanna, I don't wanna make you older than you are. Well, that's no. I have to live each moment to get to be a 104. So I still am a 103. You know? And so okay. You've had this tricycle accident. What happened? Well, I was riding my tricycle, and, she got stuck in the one of the dips in the road and tossed me. She threw me off, and I acted on my back and broke 3 ribs. Now I've got I'm punishing her because she's in the back of my porch, and I've told her she did shouldn't have done that. But, anyway, we're writing our story about how she tossed me. And can I ask, were you scared when you realized you had been hurt? Well, it hurt. I don't know whether I was scared or not. I guess I was. But, you know, those things are frightening. And I didn't know what had happened, but I knew I hurt. And, so we got an X-ray, and there it was. And the x first X-ray said that I had one of the ribs that was not attached. I mean, it was, the you know, it it had not gotten it had gotten that detached. But the next x-ray we got, it had found its place, and we were back in shape. And now you're feeling fully recovered or mostly recovered? I'm it's healed. Oh my gosh. Well, you know, and this is why I look in in your book, the well lived life, you share these six secrets, which really are more difficult than they sound, a lot of these secrets. And, you know, I read the book, I read the book a year ago when we first spoke and I've read the book more recently to prepare for this. And I really find myself kind of in tears when I'm reading it, particularly towards the end and you're describing, you know, painful experiences that you've been through. And I don't know. This is gonna sound weird, but I don't know if I wanna live to be your age. Does that sound weird? No, because I don't know that I wanna live, but how long I wanna live that, you know, that's it. It's depends on how much I can do to accomplish what needs to be accomplished. I mean, there's life that needs to be lived, people that are reaching for their true humanity. I think all around the world, that's what's happening because that's what I'm hearing from people. The stories that I'm getting from people are about how they were in a spot where they were feel really, really stuck. And some of the words of the that they read or heard or are lived, help them to get out of that stuck place and go on with their lives. And so it's it's that kind of life giving juice that love carries through from one person to the next. Well, let me ask you, like, when you were going through your divorce, for instance, with Bill, which happened after 46 years of marriage, did you feel for instance, loved during those moments? I was so shattered. I was so broken. I was totally useless. I was in my car. I was screaming at the universe. I was yelling at God. I was saying all kinds of, do you wanna know? No. Don't wanna know and stuff. But I was so broken that I I just, I'd gotten to the point where I couldn't go on any further. And I pulled the car over to the side of the road and I said to myself, am I gonna spend the rest of my life this way, feeling this way? And the words came down to me. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. It had my name in it. Be glad. Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I back up. And I went to my home, where at that point, was empty except for the dog. And I changed my license plate, and my license plate red be glad for the rest of the time I was in Phoenix during my medical work. And, so that every day that I went to my car, I had to see that and people behind me in the traffic had to see that. So I was carrying the message of be glad around for the rest of the time I was in practice here. It was that kind of a moment in time when my total brokenness brought me to my, to my knees enough that I was able to answer that. Yeah. Because because you mentioned how people are trying to find their their true humanity and how you say in the book is you were always identifying yourself as Bill's wife and then Bill's divorced wife. And you guys introduce yourself as doctors, bill and Gladys, and, and, and, you know, you had to almost recreate, you had to find your true humanity. Then I had to, I then became doctor Gladys up until then I was bill and platters. Yeah. And and you talk about how it's possible to learn lessons in these moments when it's almost an when it seems like it's impossible to learn from them. Like, you look back over prior times where you had been hurt and what and you kind of have to you almost have to make this lawyer like argument with yourself that, okay. I've had bad moments in the past. I've learned from them in the past, which means I can learn from them now, which I think is an interesting and useful technique. But I'm sure when you're actually in the moment when you have to do that, it's very difficult. Well, it's difficult because you don't know the next step and you have to live it. You know, it's because the next step was okay. If this is what you're going to re spend the rest of your life doing, face up to it. You know? And and it was horrible. I mean, the things I was saying and the things I was doing, the my whole life at that point was in tatters. So I had do something with it. The important thing was just stop long enough to be glad about what it is and then see where you go. And that's what's happened. And it it's I mean, look, you've lived such an interesting life starting from your parents. Like, your parents worked as, you know, doctors in India. You grew up all over the place. You've you've you've had met so many interesting people and and you've been all over the world. I mean, but it's it's hard to think, like, you're I mean, you you you mentioned how you used to drive a model a Ford, and now people are, like, casually going into space. Yeah. It's almost, like, hard to to to grasp. But I wanted to ask you specific things. Like, you know, you mentioned in the acknowledgements about Edgar Cayce, for instance. So Edgar Cayce is known for, you know, he he had he he wrote books about having psychic powers, and he was able to predict things. You you also met with you so many times with Milton Erickson, who was, like, the the founder of various branches of psychology. I mean, you've had this fascinating adventure, a 103 year adventure. And what was Milton Erickson like? Like, he he created hypnotherapy, and he convinced him he hypnotized himself into not believing he could be, you know, crippled from polio. I just wanted to ask you specifically, like, what was that like meeting him and seeing him go through this experience? He was he was a he a funny guy. I mean, he he was color blind. His wife had all of his clothes on the color because he was color blind, and he would get the the weird colors off. Anyway, he was a very, opinionated. And, actually, amazingly, his opinion used to they'd stop us in the middle of what what we were saying and think, no. What was that he said? You know? It was that kind of a guy. He didn't just say empty things. He said things that stopped us where we were thinking and made us think again. So when we had when my husband, Bill, met him, at a meeting, a medical meeting, and brought and they came home, and we started these evenings on Tuesday night of having there were about 5. I was the only woman, but there were about 5 of us who would come to get together on a Tuesday night just to talk about stuff that Milton was talking about. But at that point, I was pregnant. And by the time I was 8 months pregnant, they were staying until 2 o'clock in the morning and on this, and I finally kicked them out because I had to get my rest. But it was a good thing because when they left, they had to create something else, and they created the the American hypnosis associate. Anyway, it's that kind of amazing aspect to life itself. If you have to go through certain things and you're actually able to step and take a step forward, it may seem like the wrong thing to do. But if it's for the right reason, just do it. Like, what's an example? Yeah. That that kicking them out to, start the American hypnology hypnosis, society was the right thing to do. I I didn't know it was the right thing to do. I just knew I had to take care of this baby and myself. And so they better take care of themselves. And they did. And do you think, how do you think he did? Like, how, how does the mind work? Like, how did he basically get himself going again? You know, having polio seems to have permanent physical effects and yet through the mind, he was able to recover some abilities they had lost through polio. Well, he found what it what it well, he found his juice. Okay? He found the words that he could say that would allow other people to pay attention to the things he was thinking. And that's what happened with us as a a small group. We began to listen to the things that Milton Erickson was saying and thinking, you know, he's right. And and how do we put that into context with our lives? And so from that step on, it took them that step the way life does. You know, sometimes I would like to believe these things and kind of use the enormous power of the mind to to help my life and to move it forward. But there's so much baggage in there, at least telling me that it's just not going to work, that I don't I don't have that kind of power over reality to to, you know, people always say you could you view the world just from your perspective only, and it's only your perspective that you see the outside world. But there is I also sort of feel like there's this reality too. We all kind of share this reality and world, and sometimes things are bad, sometimes things are good, but I can't have any control over that. Well, let me tell you a story. Okay? Because my life life goes on a story about another James. I had a friend named James McCready, and he was he was a family friend. We all love James. And then he moved into dementia, so we had to put him into a facility where he'd be taken care of. And so he had his his room, and it was a nice room and all of that. I went to visit him one day and took him a little plant, a little green plant in a little pot. And when I took it to him, I said, no, James, this is your plant. And it but it needs to be loved, and it needs to be taken care of. Now he doesn't he's looking all around the world, but, you know, he I didn't he did he didn't respond so that I thought he was even understanding what I was saying, but I was saying it anyway. And I said it's gonna need water, and it's gonna need sunshine, but it's your plant to love and take care of. And I talked to him about a little bit about this, and I put the plant on his windowsill, and I left. And a week later, I came back, and he met me at the door because he knew that was coming up. And he met me at the door and he said, magic, magic, magic. And I said, what? What? And he, so he said, come magic. And we went into his room and he says, box. And he took me over to the air conditioning box on the wall, and he says, look. Push this button. Everything is cool and nice, and Plant loves it. But he says, push this button. Oh, everything hot, awful. Plant doesn't like it. That's what he told me, and I realized that he in his state of whatever you wanna call it, being alive, had taken the message and was had put it into action and created a relationship, a loving relationship with the plant in a way that was giving him juice. It's that amazing kind of, ability that we each have to reach to some other living thing. Now that little plant wasn't anything to speak of. I mean, I just took a little green plant to to him. And he took that and was able to create a story for himself that allowed him to get some juice back in his life because he connected with another living thing. So who are we to say what is the process of reaching to other people and reaching to other aspects of our lives around the world? Because all of the living stuff in this world is here and it's life and it's love that keep it going. And and when towards the end of the book, when you talk about this, the 6th secret, which is how spending your your energy, We're calling the name of the word Juice. Bend your energy wildly. Juice. Yeah. So what what does that actually mean, the word wildly there? Well, like, with me taking a plant through that. I mean, what what sense does that make? When I took my plant to to that little plant to James, it made no sense at all. I'm sorry. What how how is this man who knows nothing from anything going to? It was a juicy stupid thing to do, but look what it did. Yeah. And why did you get the inclination to do it? Because I had the juice to do it and I did it. You know, in other words, I thought about it, and I thought, yeah, James might like that. It was just a passing thought, and so I did it. It was that kind of thing that, I mean, wildly. What what what kind of a wild thought is that? You take a little green plant to James. You know? So but doesn't just end up so because the plant was a living thing. James was a living thing. The the, where the refrigeration was energy that was a living process. In other words, he connected his living process with the living process of plant enough to love the plant enough to create this story. That's what stories are all about, Telling each other and allowing each others to understand what life is about. What strikes me too, is that, okay, you could visit your friend, Jim, because on the one hand, maybe there's a sense of obligation. Oh, he's in this facility, and you wanna stop by, check-in on him and see. But you infused more into this visit. You kind of, like you said, you kind of almost created a story out of it. Like, you did this ridiculous thing, but that's that's what stands out and and creates a story that we could tell today many years later. Right. Right. And put If you can put some life into actions that you're taking and doing, then you're spending your juice wildly. Who cares? You know, when you saw it, the whole idea into the air, well, who cares that you took a little pad to James? Nobody cared. Nobody else cared. James and I are the only 2 that did. And so what? You know? Well, I cared, and he cared, so we connected, and the plant was there. A living process is that that that that ability to accept life at its own terms. Now having dementia is not a pretty thing. So this wonderful man had shifted into dementia, but he was still the same man who I knew and who, as a family, we cared about. He used to spend a lot of time with our family, with our kids, and so on, but then he wasn't able to. He had shifted into this phase of his life, and, he was still alive. And as long as there was life there, I cared about him. And how how old was he when he suffered from dementia or when he started suffering from it? Oh, probably in his sixties. When you were when you were younger, what did you think was old? 20. I I remember saying to my cousin who had a brother who was 20 years old, and I was 10. And I said to her, how does it feel to have a brother that's 20 years old? I remember that because 20, oh my goodness. I'm 10. How how can he be 20? Yeah. And I was thinking this when I was reading your story how you went to Afghanistan when I think you were 86 years old. Right. And so that's almost 20 years ago now. Yeah. Like but at 86 is also old. Oh, yeah. And and and yet you had confidence to kind of take these adventures. It seems like you were always open to adventure. You said yes to adventure a lot. Well, my parents did. They let went to India in the middle of World War 1 to take their message of love to the Indian people in the jungles. Okay? You started and I was my mother went into labor with me at the Taj Mahal. You start your journey with parents like that. It's not an empty journey. Nobody's life is an empty journey. But what if you don't start with parents like that? Like, that sounds amazing. Well, type what you've got. What do you have? You know, you have maybe it's an empty plant. You know, it's something that's like that empty plant. Who cares? It's something that's a lie. Maybe it's a a dog that you have in your life that's that's alive. Maybe it's a a a tree. Maybe you have a tree that's a friend. Maybe you have a a friend that you don't like very much, but he's your friend, and you you play with him or you, you know, whatever is going on in your life. It's that that life creates life, and love creates life. And love and life go together like a pregnancy. A pregnancy is a manifestation of a life force within the mother and the babies that are 1 for 9 months or however, and then they become 2. You know? The light the love of the mother creates the life of the baby. The life of the baby take its its first breath, it when it when the life of the baby takes its first breath, that baby becomes a different soul, different person. But until at that time, it's one with the mother. It's that kind of a amazing universe that we live in. Do you think it's true to saying that you're only as happy as your saddest child? As what? You you're only you could only be as happy as your saddest child. Well, whatever however you wanna say that. You know? I think we each have to find our own way of saying that kind of thing that that allows us to accept what the status that we're in. You know? Whatever it is, then let's accept it the way it is and and see where we're going with that. See what's building. What's around us? What what what is there out there I can love? Okay. You know? Or or in here that I can love? Or what what did the what happened yesterday? That kind of a thing. Do you think do you think as like, at what point, you know, through the past century, did you did you or did you ever think, oh, I need to I need to slow down now. It's too much. I need to just slow down. I never had a chance. I mean, I never thought about slowing down. It was something because there there is always something interesting popping up. Yeah. Like going to Afghanistan in in your eighties, for instance. See, I have this brother who was Carl Taylor, who starred future generations, which is still go by his son is carrying on the work of future generations around the world, which has created communities around the world who, are doing the kind of thing that we did in Afghanistan with the women. And but you see, my parents started that. They they led their life wildly and took a chance during World War 2. There were there were, u boats in the in the water when they when they went to India. But they went because they they had a vision. They had a a a thought. They had something that was offered to them as a possibility for their life, and it excited them. It gave them juice, and they went to India. Alright. My mother went into labor with me at the Taj Mahal. She almost died. I almost died. I had a hepatitis, malarial hepatitis when I was 2. I almost died. I didn't die. I lived through that and so on and so on and so on. And it's that amazing process that, love and life create and keep love going and life going. It's it's it's how you and I connected. I'm talking to you. Your name is James. I'm connecting you as my friend, James, who the story of James and the little plan is now a story that can be you know? I mean, this is the way love and life goes. Yeah. And, you know, you mentioned earlier people trying to find their true humanity. Do you think it's different now than it was? Let's say 30, 40, 60 years ago that the people get lost in the roles they play in society? So that it's harder for them to find their true humanity. Do you think it's different now than it used to be? I think it's different because life is different and life changes, but that doesn't make it it's any harder or any easier. It is what it is, and this is hard as it's gonna get. And as as long as we take the next steps as hard as they are to move to the next step, which makes it as hard as they are, which takes the next step a little easier, then you, you know, I mean, it's being willing to step forward and to in the face that life and love in your life and in our life and my life life and love are the 2 activating factors that keep me moving and keep us moving. Keep the world moving. Keep little plants moving. And so let's say someone is asking you like, well, you know, I'm so busy all day. I'm doing things, you know, this, that, the other thing. And, and I want my, I wanna find my true humanity. Like, what's what's the advice you give? Start looking for it. If you don't if you're not looking for it, you're not gonna see it. If you're looking for it, you'll find it, and no one else can tell you. I mean, you're you're you're in charge of your life. See, I had this idea. This isn't a theology. This is an idea. I have the ideas of when god whatever god is to each one of us, when when God created the Earth and it and the universe, and he looked at it and he, she, and said, oh, this is gorgeous. This is just perfect. Everything's right here. So now I'm going to create the human being. And in creating the human being, he said to the human, no. Everything is perfect. Everything in the universe is perfect. It's in the right place doing the right thing. It's perfect. I now create you as the only being on this earth which has free choice and free will. So I now give you dominion over the earth. And we, in our arrogance, thought he said domination. And so we said, oh, boy. Oh, boy. We got it. You know? And we've been going at it, and we've been really not nice to mother Earth. And it's about time, I think, that we reclaimed our position as being in not in dominance of the earth, but in dominion, you know, that that we have the opportunity to help mother earth. And I think that's what we're doing when we start reaching for our true humanity. Because I think our true humanity is like James reaching for that plant. Mhmm. That ability to see in in in the humblest of things, in the most difficult of circumstances, something that gives us life. You have this discussion in the book. It's a discussion that you have with Bill about, you know, you you were saying everything's wonderful and he basically said, come on, everything's not wonderful. Why are you always saying that? And you know, there's this concept of, as you put it toxic positivity, that it, that maybe being too positive. Yeah. Puts blinders on. Yeah. Do you have a Oh, yeah. Response to that? Yeah. The Pollyanna's idea. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I still like that better than not. Yeah. I guess I guess because there's no benefit to pessimism. But let's say someone hypothetically, let's say someone's going broke and they're scared. They they don't know how to deal with their fear or or let's say their health is going. They don't they're just afraid. Or or let's say a relationship has fallen apart and they're and they're and they're scared it will fall apart. Sometimes it's hard to be optimistic in in reality. Is there any one of us who hasn't been in that place? Have any one of not had a spot in our lives when we've thought nothing is worth it, or what in the world am I doing here? I mean, this kind of thoughts come to us, and we get in our we get into positions where it is we're stuck. All of us have that that kind of I don't think anybody has had an easy life. We there are always times which some of us which all of us have, which we because we're human beings, and we're living this life, and we're choosing to look for what we're looking for. And if it's pain and suffering and we're stuck with pain and suffering, we have a choice to to whether it's going to be like, I finally found out when I had to stop my car and stop my screaming and look at it and say, are am I gonna spend the rest of my life like this? I mean, it was a nasty scene. So when we catch ourselves at that point and look at ourselves, we have a choice to make. And it's our choice, But we have to be able to look for something else because if we're not looking for it, we'll never see it. I guess that's true. I guess sometimes you can be so swept up in your own issues. It's hard to go looking for something else. Like, sometimes I don't even really know what that means. Like, of course, I could look for something else, but I've gotta deal with my own I gotta deal with my this issue first. Yep. Well, you know, it's sometimes, if you just begin to ask the questions, the answers will come. But if you're not asking that question, if you're just thinking, well, this is the way life is, and I'm stuck here and then, gonna continue like this. It's life sucks or whatever. You go on and on, and you're continuing suffering. You know, it's like having a a bag over your shoulder and you keep looking back at that bag of stuff that you carried, and it's it's a it's a nasty thing. And finally, you get to the point where you can't turn your neck back again because you've got a stiff neck. It's been looking that way all the time. You know? If you begin to turn your neck back, it's like Milton Erickson. You know? He began after his polio and all the other stuff that went wrong in his life. He began turning his neck back, and he thought, there are other ways of looking at things. There are other things I don't have to keep looking at that trash or whatever. And it was so powerful for him that it really changed. Oh. Absolutely. I wonder how though you generate that power, that, that force of will it did it for me. It's by choice. It's by choosing, I had to see stay in my car screaming at the uterus about how life was so awful, or turn around and try to find the stuff that I could be glad about. So then you went home that day and you go into your house, and like you said, it was empty and still Bill wasn't there. Like, still there's the reality that your life had changed. Yep. And it and it's still it's knocking on your door. That bag is is still there. It's still there. But you I'm just trying to understand, like, what you went through that moment. Well, the only person there was a dog. So I talked to the dog and we had our conversation, and I said, well, I've got a I get a license plate different from this. So I I don't remember what my license plate said, but I took it off. And then I wrote the application for a new license, And I went and I got a new license plate that said, be glad. But I started the op the process of getting a new light a new, license. And so you, you took action basically. Like if you can't, it's home. What I'm, what I'm wondering is it's probably hard to think your way out of bad thoughts, but maybe taking action kind of cemented the newer thoughts. Well, well, that's what is the trick to it. That's key because life and love have to move. If they're stuck, they can't move. You know, it's it's that process of life activated. Love love activating life. I mean, because it's love life is like the a seed in the pyramid. It's there. The shells around it. It can't do anything until love in the form of water and air enters and softens the shell so that the shell can pop open and life can move. It's like a woman being pregnant. The the the the process of having a birth, a healthy birth or a a viable birth, is allowing that baby in its own time to come and take its own first breath. And that first breath then allows it to become itself. You name it. That's that's the point of naming the baby. So so do you think like every moment, every day, you're essentially, as you say, combining life and love and giving birth in a sense to the new day? Like, do you like Absolutely. Absolutely. Every time, you know, every thought that you think, and I think is giving us a chance to express some thoughts that are going on in our heads that we can share with each other and and with ourselves, you know, if you don't ask the question and I don't think about it, it never gets answered. And so I wonder, like, sometimes this is gonna sound ridiculous, but sometimes, particularly lately, I feel like I'm getting old. So you are. And and if 20 is old, you're old. Well, I'm in my fifties, so you're young. I know. I know it sounds ridiculous. You know, me saying this to you, but I think, oh, it's supposed to mean my memory is worse. Or maybe this means I don't have as much energy because things do change physically and mentally. Oh, yeah. But what are you looking for? I guess I wanna be mentally as as sharp as I was when I was younger, when I was 20. Alright. Look for it. And you're why are you asking these questions? That's a good question, I guess, because I'm hoping you know the answer or maybe maybe I'm hoping you'll convince me not to be thinking about this, that it's pointless to think about this. Well, do you think it's pointless? I I don't know. Oh, right. You did it. You don't know. So you gotta find out. Yeah. And I guess I don't know how to find that out. I don't know. I don't know where to look. You're looking. Yeah, that's true. I'm looking. Yeah. See now if you hadn't asked those questions of yourself, where were the questions to be? You know? I mean, what what were they? Yeah. That You know, they just won. But you asked those questions. And so so so what? You know? You'll find the answers. That's what Right. I'll find some answer. Absolutely. And so, you know, it reminds me of one time I had this friend who and I've had a couple of friends in this exact same situation. They start a company. They work really, really hard. They're stressed and anxious and scared, and finally, they get to the other side. They sell the company. They feel they've met all of their goals. And so the stress, like, sheds off them. And then a week later and this has happened to several friends, not just one. They have a heart attack. Yeah. Like like, it's almost as if they they're not moving forward anymore. Even though the way they were moving forward previously was in this negative way, like stressful and anxious and fearful. 1 once they stopped moving, they had a problem. Yeah. Even though they were moving in this negative way, maybe, like, maybe it would have been better if they hadn't been so stressed. It was as if they were postponing, like, this heart attack just by moving and pushing. Or creating it. Yeah. Maybe the stress was creating it. Absolutely. You know, if they had been living that and, thinking, oh, you know, maybe maybe this is too hard or maybe this I need to change or you know, if if it if they were questioning what it was that they they were doing, they made that drop some of the stuff that that they were doing that was not that important because when they died, they had to drop it. Yeah. And and I guess what you're saying is also no change is too little. So for instance, you couldn't change the circumstances about Bill, or if you have a sibling die or your daughter who passed away, like, you couldn't change the circumstances, but you could do some change. Yep. So, like, people always say the the worst thing ever is to have a child pass away because that doesn't seem like the, the natural order of things, but, you know, you've, you've experienced so much and you've seen so much that, you know, you've, you've unfortunately gone through this experience. And at that time, it was the worst thing that could have happened to me. And, like, with that, how did you how did you make the decision for yourself even that, okay, I'm gonna move forward. And what was the motion you took? Well, I had other things to do. I had other children to love. She had a son. I had a son that I that that I could love. You know, if I had, if I had identified the things that I still had to live for, I would've I guess, I consciously didn't, but I I knew that I could not let myself die because there were too many things that I loved that I had to live for. So it was not she she was, such a an important part of my life at that time. I mean, Annaliah was just she was the kind of person when she walked in the door, everybody knew who she was. She was that kind of a force. And so to let her go was a really, really painful, hard thing to do. But, you know, I had other things to do too. And I had other children to love, and I had other ways to to create and carry on the essence of who and what she was because I'm I'll never ever forget who she was and how how she affected me and my life and the the stories I have to tell about her and all of this. It's all still part of my memory lane of the things that I choose to remember and keep her alive because she's still alive in my life. She's right up there. Her picture's right up there above my above this computer. And do you ever do you ever you know, you've had so many of these experiences, so many different periods in your life. Do you ever lose some of the memories? Like, do you ever do things slip away? All the time. I can't begin to well, no. No. No. I'm not gonna say that. I I there are so many things that I can't pull out and look at right now because I've got other things that I'm working on. And so I have to deal with what's what's there. The little plant that's there, I have to take care of. So so you're saying sometimes it's okay that some memory like, what what matters the most is what you're dealing with right now. Right. Right. Like, take Milton Erickson. You know? He couldn't continue to, bemoan the fact that he couldn't do the thing that he could do before. He had to find something that he could do that would take his mind to a place where he could work with something that stretched his mind. It was that it's that life and love need to be pulled, need to be worked towards, need to be activated. It's why you're doing what you're doing. Yeah. I do. I do enjoy this and feel that it helps to to spread a good message. So I like doing this show for that reason. Yeah. Well, you know, it's a lot. I like to talk about my 5 L's. The first two are life and love. They don't exist without the other. 3rd one is laughter. Laughter without love is cruel. It's painful. Breaks families apart. It causes wars, but laughter with love is happiness and and joy. It's why you you're doing what you're doing. The 4th one is drudgery. If you're doing it if you're just doing the stuff that you're doing without love, you drag yourself through it. Just what you were talking about earlier, people who die because they do the things that are are just in in essence, killing them. They drag themselves through it, but they do it because they do it and they die. All right. Well, if you're, if you put love into the picture, you do what you're doing now, which is your bliss It's what makes you sing. It makes you wanna sing and be you know? And the and the so the drudgery then becomes not drudgery. It becomes what you actually the juice that keeps you going. And the 5th one is is listening. Listening without love is empty sound. You know, it's a clanging gong. It's a as empty symbol. It's that sound that just doesn't mean anything. But listening with love is understanding. So if we can put love into the actions that we take each day and activate that aspect of ourselves with love, it transforms it. You know, it re it reminds me of, like, Viktor Frankl's book, man's search for meaning Yes. Where he's at Auschwitz. So you would think, well, how can he be positive at all there? Like, that's the the most the on a scale of 0 to 10, it's like the negative one in terms of Right. The worst. And and yet he would find, you know, meaning in being there, and that's what kept him going. Right. Right. You know, that's a that it's a basic truth that life and love activate each other. And and it's an ongoing process, and we all have access to it. We just have to choose. Do you think you knew this all along in part because it sounds like this is how your parents lived also, or do you think this is something you kind of learned through time? Well, I I I think I knew it all along, but it it had to grow in me. You know, it wasn't something that that, I knew it in its fullness anymore than I know everything is fullness right now. It's a growing process. I love what you're what I'm doing now. Okay? I love what that I'm able to work with you and talk to you. You know? This is this is really nice. And so as long as I'm I'm doing the things that make me understand the reality of what I that I I'm listening to, you know, and and and put say things into context with with my five l's, you know, that works really nice. Yeah. And I, I like, I like the idea of thinking about laughter in the context of love, because you're right. It makes a difference whether there's love or not there. Yeah. Yeah. And let me ask you, why did, why do you mention that in the acknowledgements, Edgar Casey, how, how did he affect your life? We were, when we came to Phoenix, we had left Wells town where we'd been practicing. It almost killed me. I had worked so hard, been so sick and all of that. But it's, we lived for 9 years and we came here and we found Edgar Cayce. We found the the philosophy that allowed us to have something else to look for in the way we were working our lives. And something else to reach for is what I'm trying to say. And as we began to understand what Casey was talking about, you know, pay attention to your dreams. Pay attention to what you think you think. Pay it, you know, pay attention to who you really are and other statements that that made us realize that there was more to life than what we had been, looking for. And we began searching. And when you begin searching, let me tell you, things start to show up. Yeah. I I believe that. I think, I think sometimes I get bogged down in the minutiae of life. Like, okay, you have to go on these trips, you have to pay these taxes, you have to do this, you have to do that. It's, it's easy to get off the spiritual quest. Right. And but it's import but I had I do think the best moments of my life were when I was on those quests. Yeah. Well, and when you were paying attention to your dreams and to the things that were showing up in your life, when you know what it is to also, it's recognizing what's showing up in your life. It's not just the stuff that shows up, but recognizing what really shows up in your life. You know, what what you turned a corner and there it was. You know, we moved to Phoenix and there it was. Rachel Carson had just written her book about, a silent spring talking about diet. And we had lived it all this time, just taking care of life the way it was, not paying attention to the to the to the nuances of the diet that we were feeding ourselves and the kids. Yeah. And so did you did you switch your diet? Oh, yeah. My daughter wrote a book called Born to Heal, and then that she talks about the the time that I made a casserole out out of brains for the kids because my I was pregnant with Helene, and and my, great Rachel Carson was talking about making it, use it, the pregnant women should eat brains. You know? And I thought, oh, well, it'd be okay. Well, I get I guess there's that saying you are what you eat. So Oh, absolutely. But we hadn't thought about that. See, that was a new thought to us. We came to Phoenix. And with that came a whole bunch of new thoughts that Casey was talking about, paying attention to your dreams, pay attention to who's in your life, pay attention to life. I guess maybe one thing one gift age brings is that you have enough experience to be able to to recognize, to, to be able to pay attention. Like I was, I was talking to someone earlier today who had to fire an employee and he, he realized this he was questioning his decision making that because just a few weeks earlier, he had hired this employee, but then it turned out this employee was very rude to the other employees and didn't get along with people. And so he was trying to figure out what in his decision making process was wrong, but he's much younger than me. And I said, look. It doesn't matter because now you know. And Yeah. You won't do it again. Like, he just hadn't had the experience of having hired someone like that before. And so I I think one one gift that getting a little older gives one is that you recognize many more things. You see many more things in the in the daily minutia. You've asked questions that have been answered. Yeah. And and so now well, look. Now what's your what's your next big adventure? Well, I'll have another pod to has to do tomorrow. And, you know, I mean, this is pretty interesting. Has it I mean, this is kind of a a dumb question, but what what technology in the past 100 years has impressed you the most? Life. But that's a technology that doesn't change. Other technologies change. Life? I guess I I guess it's true. Life with love. You know, it if anything that is, activated with love impresses me. And with what I'm looking for. That's why it impresses me. If I'm doing something and and, the person that is reaching to me with a even a minutia of love with that aspect, if I can feel that reach of now I'm just making this up right now because it's coming to me. If I can feel that reach from that person who is looking for something, who who is reaching for that answer, then I love that. And I'll jump towards it and I'll go for it because it's something that says, yeah, that that's right. Like the questions that you're asking. Well, and I I have to say, like, I mean, I've thought a lot about a lot of things since we'd obviously, we did the interview, when your the hardcover of your book came out. And I would say I've had, you know, an interesting year with with some success and some failures, like like, most years ago. And I've tried I've been trying really hard to keep my perspective positive, but I I feel like I've been in general more negative for some reason. And that there's no even real specific reason. Like, nothing bad is happening. It's just I think I have a little bit more negative self talk lately, and I've been really trying to reverse that. Well, there you go. You know? You're working with it. Yeah. I mean, that's You recognized it. You've identified it, and now you can do something about it. You can make your choices. I guess that's the hard part is really believing that I can make the choices. Like, I hear what you're saying, and and I've even said the same thing that you're saying. And somehow it's just, I I feel less powerful to make those choices for some reason. But sometimes when you hear yourself say it, you have to have to stop and think about it. Yeah. You know, the it's a it's a the fact that you actually thought about it, put it into words, put it into the, I to your own hearing process that you heard your own words may made you think about it again, and here you are talking about it. That's a pretty important thing. Yeah. I guess that's right because it's it's like an archeological dick. It forces you to go a little bit deeper than you did the day before. Or you're introduced to an idea. Like when we came to Phoenix, we were introduced to Edgar Casey and all of a sudden, woah. What's this stuff? You know? And it was so interesting, and and it has taken us down many, many interesting paths. Yeah. I've never I've only heard about him. I've never read anything by him. Uh-huh. The first book we read about Edgar Casey was there is a river. It's his biography. And that in itself is fascinating, but it that's what captivated us. Alright. I'm gonna I'm gonna read that. That's gonna be next on my, on my reading list. Alright. So, but Gladys, once again, you know, it's always such a pleasure even meeting someone like you with with such presence and and such life experience and and such such joy for life. And I could see that, you know, writing the well lived life and and reading about, you know, I'll just read the subtitle, a 102 year old doctor's 6 secrets to health and happiness at every age, reading through each chapter and the and the practice you give, like, the exercises you give, really made me think a lot about my own life. Like, when you talk about community, for instance, I don't know if I have as much community now, and maybe that's part of the issue is I think community is harder to get in some ways now. Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You've got a community. I'm part of your community. You've created this community. That's true. That is very true. Actually. Recognize what you've already done and then build on that or whoever you want to. But I mean, really think of what you've done. It's it's not empty sound. People are listening to what you're saying. Yeah. That's that's true. Yep. Food for thought as, as like you, you, you, you keep me thinking and you have for the, for the past year and, and I'm, I'm so, so glad I reread your book in preparation for this. I'm so glad I did because I saw completely different things. And at this time also then, then the last time. And so And the and the paperbacks coming out. Yeah. When does the paperback come out? What's the date, John? April 2. April 2. Well, again, Gladys McGarry and and and author of The Well Lived Life, and you have a a well lived life, 103 years old. I'm sorry I even thought to say earlier that you might be a 104 because I don't wanna I don't want you to feel old or anything. And thank you so much for, again, coming back on the show and and answering my questions and and telling me your stories. It's always beautiful to talk to you. Thank you, James. The nation's favorite car buying site, Dundeele Motors, is home to the largest range of new and premium used cars from all of Ireland's trusted car dealerships. That's why you'll find Brady's Mercedes Benz on Dundeele. Visit the Brady's Mercedes Benz showroom on Dundeele to find your next car. Dundeele Motors, for confident car buying and deals to feel great about from all of Ireland's trusted car dealerships. Visitdundeel.ie today.