Allegedly Wassa Happening with Spencer Pratt

Transcript

Hello, everyone. Looking for of classics, I'm your host, superfan, Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips from all 14 and 15 years of the Adam Carolla show. We have a companion podcast also titled Cruel Classics. Make sure to subscribe to the feed. There's a bonus episode that airs every Sunday. You don't want to miss it. We also have a YouTube channel youtube.com slash Adam Carolla corner. And if you'd like to request the clip, please email Classic's and Adam Kirkham. Now on to the show. One of our very first clip today we have Adam Carolla Show 263 featuring Larry Miller. This was from February of 2012. Larry and Adam one on one. By the way, you just remind me something I was watching Classic Fight and Asaad Charles fight, and they showed one of the Louis Schmeling fights. This is on. There's a classic boxing network. And of course, people must know you were big boxing. You know, I saw the whole I saw the whole story with the brown bomber and Joe Louis, and it's all great stuff Country did to him, and it's all great stuff. And to learn about, that's real history. But here's the funny thing. Here's what I just remembered. The guy who takes the round, Carter went round to right when the card gets around. Today we have women in bikinis. Do it. Sure. And for the year, Charles Fried, it was just a guy. It was like the guy who didn't get to be ref. It's a bald guy who was chubby and very short, and he's walking around with a card saying, Four, right? And I thought, Wow, at what point did at least someone see? That's at least a good step forward. And at what point did someone say, I don't need to look at the 50 year old carpet salesman from Perth Amboy? What I'd rather do is look at maybe the doco Battery Girl right from Bayside in Queens and you know she's wearing a bikini, let her walk around smiling. And all right, that's something I agree, except for half the time she's holding the four upside down or sideways. But as we know, since you are punching, then anyone who is at the boxing match knows you know what round it is. You're not looking to her to find out the information, say Bill, what round is it? Know what you're looking for is how do you like that? That's a girl. I would argue this, especially the second round. Nobody goes. I win the fifth team. Are we in extra innings? What? How come there's no judge? These guys look clean. If you can't, how drunk do you have to be, by the way? Two. After the first three minute round, turn your body. Hey, Charlie, where are we at? Because we got reservations at a steakhouse in 14 minutes, we're going to get there. What is this fight ever going to end? You know you shouldn't need it should be rounds five through 12th. If you're confused, if you can't keep track with the one minute intermission in between. If you can't keep track of the first four rounds, you really don't belong in the arena. By the way, if the guy is like the first pitch at the baseball game, you don't find them giving out the round card slots. And now the head of the PTA in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, will come out. Mrs R Fudge fugly, right? She's 57, and she's going to hold the young round caught up. Why? Why? Why annoy people? Not not only that, not only that, so not only I think we can agree, we can at least skip the first three rounds again. You're no fan. If you can't keep track of the first three rounds or you're so far gone, who cares? She could hold up a sign that just had the Google thing the, you know, the Figure eight that's on its side. That just meant infinity. Or she could have a sign that just had the national deficit on it. It wouldn't matter. You wouldn't even know where you were. You were. No, you're picking up directions and cling on to the parking lot. It doesn't matter, right? You don't know. So, number one, don't need that first three rounds, at least. Number two, considering we now have things called pay systems where you get to tell people things through voice commands, you can easily say round eight. They they do it in Olympic boxing and Olympic boxing. They don't have a hot chick in a takis, a bikini walking up and down, by the way, they should. I'm not saying they shouldn't. I'm just saying they don't have that like amateur in Olympic boxing. So eh, that stuff is just a vestige of when, you know, Colonel Johnson, who was going to pay, you know, Gentleman Jack Johnson to fight the walrus killer out of sight out of Alaska. Those two were going to go at it. And he was going to just he just got himself a whole bunch of land in Nevada, and he erected himself arena that held one hundred and 3000 people and add your firearms had to be checked at the door like literally, guys had to take their holsters off. And you know, that guy didn't have a state of the art state of the art p.a. system. When you're fighting at Caesars of the MGM, there's a microphone and a guy who can tell you round seven. So we don't really need it. I think that's just a holdover. But yeah, it is funny to see those old fights. And it's funny to see the guy who looked like Fred Mertz. That's the way he wear his pants were pulled up. There were closer to his nipples than they were to his belly button guy with the pants pulled. I don't know where that look. Why that ever came into fashion. The fat guy with his pants, he looked like wimpy from the old, you know, Popeye cartoons and his pants would be pulled up to just underneath his chest. He'd have his belts and stuff with the huge bulge that then came out from underneath the belt. He was. He was never fully bald, but he was definitely had the crown and the. Are on the side, and he was in his 60s and he would walk around with his pants up to his shins and his brown shoes, and he was holding the side of sign right round five. Yeah, and it was always weird too, because if you watch the old fights, it was before we had figured out sports several hundred, maybe thousand years before we figured out sports apparel. We didn't have jogging suits and sweat suits and warm up suits and windbreakers. His cornerman would be guys wearing ties in a blazer and like leather soled dress shoes and maybe a sweater or something like they didn't know what to do with this guy. We didn't know how to dress those guys they had. I don't know what it was. They didn't have anything with a zipper and that was made of nylon with the guy's name. On the back of it. It was just some guy wearing slacks. That's why in pro basketball, by the way, it's a holdover to say, really? Does the does the coach, the head coach of the team, have to dress like a loan officer? I mean, so he's got a full suit on and a shirt and a tie in dress shoes. Does he have to? Because I know we've been doing it for it's fine. If they do, it's a little touch formality. It's fine with me. But also, I can't believe pro basketball players used to wear short shorts. I don't know how that ever happened for 40 years when they went to longer shorts. What happened was this that's when there was a lot of short white guys in the league, and now we have to accommodate, you know, the men's extra genitalia. It's it's just pure math. You're not going to have a bunch of guys like Shawn Camp in there and you know, Shaquille and you know, McNabb and Tombo and a bunch of seven foot eight guys from Zaire in there in the speedo. You've got to speed on what you know with the kids and sitting courtside, and somebody would get hurt either physically or detached retina or emotionally when something happened, by the way, hands over the head, stretching out, fighting for a rebound. Something pops down there. A scene blows. Even really lonely women would say, I don't want to see that. Yeah, right. It's so I do believe that's, you know, a bunch of guys built like Karl Malone aren't going to fit into those Huggies that they, you know, there's silk judges with the belt. I like the idea of the head of a belt. They're just the idea. Again, we were so far behind in sports apparel that half the guys just wore dress belts in their baseball football. You know, like if you're wearing pants, you have to wear a belt. Where's your belt? They're probably reversible when they went on the road. They flip the flip, the buckle around. It's like when you see either World War Two movies or films of real sailors in World War Two, like the Japanese Surrender or something on the battleship. Whatever it was, most of the sailors, the captains, the the regular sailors, the admirals, whatever they're just wearing, like Florsheim shoes, they just have the full uniform on. And then, well, that's just a pair of black lace shoes. That was it. That's as far as we got the thing about about the Japanese that I that I never really thought about. Now we got to get back to this box because I want to talk about the brown bomber Joe Louis. Write it down. But but I want to get off the Japanese in their uniforms now. I've seen two hundred and fifty thousand hours of, you know, a, you know, a war in the Pacific and the island campaigns in Iwo Jima. And here's what I've figured out from the Japanese military. They either dressed to the nines, which is, you know, the collars and the suits and the hats and the buckles and the things, or they're barefoot in underpants. I I don't see a lot of in-between with those guys. It's crazy. And I know it's hot. I know Iwo Jima. And I know that the Philippines and I know the island. I realize it's it's warm outside, but it's but it gets hot here in the San Fernando Valley. In the summer. I don't walk around in a diaper, a T-shirt and some shorts will. Well, do you know I I don't know what happened with those guys where they were making most all their bonsai charges like in their underpants. And I know it wasn't exactly beads, but there were some sort of a diaper asked. You know, my loincloth sort of. They're not a hairy people so they can get away with it. And they're not. They're not pudgy and they're not pasty white. I mean, they can pull a diaper off better than just about any culture. But still, we're engaged in a war. If I'm a guy and I'm, you know, on the American side and I'm wearing the dungarees and the long sleeve khaki shirt and the guys running at me a. Piper, I'm going to feel like, oh, listen, I listen, I don't want to, I don't want to complain, but there is a sort of Geneva Convention and a market marquez of Queensbury. What's going on here the way when this whole thing with Toyota that's been happening with the in terms of especially in World War Two, Japan, when they still used to commit Harry Kerry. You know, if the guy lost the colonel of the regiment lost, he'd kill himself. He'd kneel down. And there was that thing of, you know, this way, that way above the cross and up. And I was thinking, when did that end? Has that ended? And shouldn't the head of Toyota, once you get past a million people? Well, you have to put the brakes on shouldn't. How about he falls on it, right? Exactly. How about he says instead of testifying in front of Congress? How about he says, all right. Well, by now. And he does that. And then we go on with Toyotas. The Japanese have really curtailed their killing themselves, the suicide, and that's really important. But about the time they handed the ring card over to the chick in the bikinis, about the time they did away with that? Yeah, they would. Obviously, it was considered, you know, you would for first off. And by the way, it's the same time spaghetti became pasta and pudding became mousse. And it's all these things. This whole thing of, by the way, I would have been a great Japanese soldier because that whole sort of like, you know, well, you can't you can't surrender because of all the shame. And then you bring and then you know, you have everyone in your village finds out. Believe me, during the time I was being fed and kept by the Americans, I would have ample time to weave together an elaborate tale about how I took on a whole. You know, I took on a machine gunners nest with a grenade and a bayonet and took out 75 of the enemy before my suicide run, where the grenade didn't go off and I was tackled by a grunt and dragged back into into this Burmese tiger trap. By the way, they can't. No kidding. They couldn't actually understand this. One of the treatment of American and British prisoners was so bad in World War Two, they just couldn't understand how anyone with any honor at all would get cut would get captured, right? Well, no, you were. This was this was the sort of it was the Catch 22 of World War Two, which is the if you when you surrendered, obviously you'd given up all dignity in your subhuman and their eyes. So let the Bataan Death March begin because these are human beings, these are cowards. These are soulless cowards who, if they had a shred of dignity, would have killed themselves rather than been collected by us. So who cares? Let them, let them march until they die or let them live off a bowl of maggot filled rice and a little dirty water. So be it. We have, ironically, they felt the same way and probably felt like we would treat them the same way. But we are the best country in the world to surrender to no better place to surrender than the United States. No, I know it's so funny every time we talk about and I guess we're closing Guantanamo, which is fine, but it just I just keep thinking to myself every time I saw a film like over the last five years of Guantanamo, I thought, You know what? That looks like the kind of place where if you just weren't in a cell, people would actually save to go on a honeymoon. It looks like a nice tropical place Guantanamo Bay. That's right. And write down some of the ways there's the prison and then just down the beach, there's a four seasons. So, you know, I don't know what continental breakfast it's. It's got us. Listen, I I'm the same way this sort of we torture enhanced torture technique, what? Whatever they want to call it. You should all hope if you're ever abducted and grabbed by either Japanese in Forties or Al Qaeda in 2010, you should all pray that you end up in Guantanamo Bay with an arrow. Hey, not my. My thing is is if I worked at Guantanamo Bay, I would. By the way, here's here's here's what brutal savages we are in the backyard. We have an arrow that faces the points toward Mecca so they can pray in the proper direction. If I was a guard at Guantanamo, I would go out there at night. I would paint over the arrow that faces toward Mecca, and I would turn it toward Vegas, but not say a word. Let's not say a word, except for a couple of my other guards. And then when the prayer sheet went down and they got down and they were doing their own thing, I'd just be sitting with my friends, or you'd be seen by the guards. We'd just be standing there laughing. And Steve Wynn would probably feel some kind of weird. She. Blowing up his a*s like he probably just be sitting around on a rather like a 10 way conference call and all of a sudden feel the surge of a bunch of Shiites praying his direction, whoever is on stage in the lounge at Caesar's right in the middle of a set would say, Wow, tough crowd. Yeah, yeah, it would die. Or just or just yell out something, just praise Allah or something in the middle, in the middle of telling a joke about airline food and have no idea where it came from. Did you hear that, folks, by the way, before would that be the greatest joke ever? I know we'd like to do that thing where we, you know, we ride on our bombs with a piece of chalk. This one's for, you know? Yeah, but taking the arrow and pointing it toward Vegas? Who knows? I don't even know where Mecca is. Maybe I have to go through Vegas in a sense, by the way, that could be the answer. If you go far enough past Vegas, you'll get there. You'll go around the world, but I'll get there. I'd like to see like wherever Mecca is, where that era is. I bet you pass a lot of s**tty places before you mean you could go through Amsterdam. There could be a lot of Sodom and Gomorrah as you pass through before you get to Mecca. This thing, I'm not. I'm trying to help. I think that it's clear to everyone. By the way, I need your advice on something before we get to Joe Louis, I wanted to paint this in your head. I talked to Donnie about this a couple of months ago. I wanted to ask you something and we're not going to decide this now, but I just want you to start thinking about this. I need a new car in April. I'm going to get rid of one car and jump on a lease. And I've always had stick shift. Was like stick shifts. And I wanted to go back to this year. Go back to get an American car. Get. We were always a Chevy family. Get a Chevy or Ford. But here's the thing. Then I thought I'd like an older car, a 60s or 70s car. And but it has to be reliable. It has to be something where I can put the kids in it, so it has to be something where I can drive it every day. It is won't be a Sunday afternoon. Ha ha ha ha. Uncle Henry, who got horn? That's right. And it can't have hookers headers. I mean, it just needs to be a solid transportation car. But I just wanted to plant that in your head. I'm thinking it doesn't have to be a stick shift, but I want. I'm looking for some advice on ways to get a really reliable car, something that's a little cool. And, by the way, could be a four door fury. Three. I'm not looking for a doesn't have to be a sport is going to say that after driving around your BMW five Series, which is hard to stick with. Oh, that stick shift. Yeah, then most of them are automatic. That's why I got it, though, because the thing is, I just want to say I've always looked for sticks I like and that's a four door car. I can put the kids in and has a stick. I've always I was always been a stick. I always believe that sort of keeps you connected with the car and you're actually driving the car. And I'll bet you that if somebody did some sort of study like they did a study between, you know, people driving and accidents involving distractions and doing it wouldn't be guys driving sticks because you're right, you literally put the car on automatic and now you're free to apply your mascara or talk on your cell phone or answer some texting or whatever. When you drive a stick, you have to stay connected with the car. You have to sort of downshift, push the clutch in your room, make sure you're in the right gear. There's none of that. Well, I'm going to have a burger and work on my BlackBerry while the car drives. I'll go ahead and just just kick it into cruise control. Literally, right? So. So just put. I agree. I agree with the sick thing. I post out and got my first automatic on my last lease a couple of years ago because of my morning radio job. This stick shift is great. But at five 10 in the morning, it is horrible. There's something about the windows being fogged up your car. You don't realize when you do morning radio. Every time you get in the car, it's that defrost. There's going you can't see out, you're backing down the driveway, you have the jumbo sized cup of coffee in your lap. That stick shift at the pre-dawn hours when it's dark outside and you've got the big coffee mug when you're on the open road and you're cruising down the highway and it's noon. It's awesome. So I want automatic because of the morning. I think I'll go back to the shift after that. I will say this before we get to Joe Lewis and some more phone calls. New cars seem like it's funny because new cars, you know, four wheels check, steering wheel check, you know, bucket seat check, eight cylinders, six cylinders, check. It all seems the same. And. Tell you, drive a car from the 60s versus driving an 08 BMW. All all the parts are the same, but it is completely different. And I would say that if you did want to get yourself something fun, something from the 60s, something reminded you of, you know, back in the day, I would definitely make that a second car, OK? I don't think and I've had this conversation with a few people that I've had buddies go, Oh man, that's seventy three. Bronco is awesome with the orange and the fender flares. It's got no doors on it. It's oh, but it's cool. It's fun. The chicks can see you, the dog can hang in, said I said last couple of weeks, Are you making the commute from Santa Monica into the under the Culver City lot or on to the sunset Gower? It's going to get old real fast, so it's fun on the weekends. That's the answer. Then that's good. Get yourself something solid and new for today and then get yourself a little weekend. Fun action then grabbed a mic and is heading this way now. The Brown The Brown Bomber was one of the great American stories, and it is not a happy show before you get into that. Yeah, I think Larry's talking about we follow him and follow the process of him finding this car was the second car segment. We touched on that the possibility of that. But the thing is with this advice, that's what I was looking for. First, the main advice is it wouldn't be smart to get as a first car and I could even go three on the tree. You know, the column is just a classic like a Buick Skylark with black wheels. I mean, it's so romantic, but three days in and then the fourth day if you turn the the king getting that or oh, and then just the smell of the exhaust, you forget what these car smell like like. Here's an example when you park your old vintage 60s car, you fire it up and you start to back out of your parking lot. You are sucking in a year and a half worth of Honda exhaust in just that one little, you know, when you're breathing in and it's running rich and you're getting your eyes watering, just backing it up, just idling, just like just starting it up, like sometimes just started up in the garage before you open the door or something in the place will be filled with smell. It's all great, but not the first car or second car, so they know what one day will do in a year or 10 years or something. For when I'm when I have the space or whatever it is to get a second car, then we'll talk about it. Then maybe we'll do something fun. Now we'll talk about Joe Louis. That's right, Joe Lewis, man. Obviously, one of the greatest champions ever to live. I think he he defended his heavyweight title like 13 or 15 times. I think he had a run of 13 or 15 years without being beaten me. You know, if they beat Schmeling a Braddock, he'd be very he lost the first loss to Schmeling, then he didn't fight. Yeah, he beat Braddock was in line to fight Schmeling, and I think Joe Lewis fought him instead, but he never beating Braddock to. I think he I think he ended up beating and beating everybody for a super long period of time. And then when the time came, World War Two broke out. He went and went into the service, and he fought so often, by the way, in the service for exhibition fights to raise money for war bonds and the government never remembered. They screwed him so bad. They are so f**king evil. Like, Here's this guy. He's beloved and he's, you know, he is. He's sort of Jackie Robinson before Jackie Robinson. He is one of the pioneers of the guys, you know, breaking down the color barrier and sort of giving black people something to feel proud of. And white people liked him as well. And I'm not sure if the Max Baer fans liked them too much, but either way, it was quite, you know, he was. He was soft spoken. He was a great ambassador to the sport. He was an amazing athlete. And when, when, when, when Duty called, he immediately dropped his his and he was getting purses that were, you know, several hundred thousand dollars when the average income was thirteen hundred dollars a year. I mean, you really have to think about it. Here's a guy. You know, you think about it now, but you can't help doing the, you know, Mike Tyson sort of Ali event. And you know, you know, Oscar de la Hoya math, this guy would have a fight. He could pay two hundred thousand dollars for the fight in an era when thirteen hundred dollars is what the average guy. Brought home a year. So you think about the kind of money the guy's making, he gives it all up. He goes into the service. He doesn't. He does nothing but these, you know, he's doing all these exhibition fights and traveling all over, raising millions for war bonds and the war effort. It costs money to run a war, obviously, and he raised millions and millions of dollars. He also took a few stands saying, Look, if I'm going to do these exhibition fights, the black soldiers are going to need to be able to get into the fights as well. He broke down some of those barriers. A guy goes out a hero and I don't know. A year after he gets out, the IRS basically tells them, You, you owe us money. And he winds up broken down and trying to get back to zero. And now he has to do what is. Essentially, the IRS could be brought up on manslaughter charges. You have to fight well past your prime well past the time. It's safe for you to fight taking beatings from tomato cans that you would have normally licked 10 years earlier that couldn't. Even where we're fit to tie your shoes and you're fighting because of this debt to the IRS. And by the way, this debt to the IRS just seems to go on in perpetuity like he's paying them 90 percent of every paycheck and every person ever. And it just never goes away, ever, because it's like loan sharks. The vig alone comes in. It's interest that you're dead forever. You could live another 100 years and never pay it off. And that's one of those stories. Look, people out there know, you know, I know and people out there know there are a lot of people in life, whether it's in America while the world is out of its mind anyway, the world has seriously lunatic folks in it. But even in our country, there are people who are not decent people. They're not trying to do right by anyone. They're empty inside, and they're trying to fill their lives with some kind of job that has control over you. And this is a perfect situation. Good luck trying to tell those guys on the other side of that table in 1949. Good luck trying to tell them. But I gave all the money away and they did so many things for the government. Good luck trying to get a nod and a smile from them. Somebody should have stepped up and said, for the love of Christ, the guy's a hero, an American icon. And by the way, do the time machine math 50 years from now. How is this going to look for us? It's the same math I would have asked the guy who installed the first set of black and white drinking fountains. Where are we going to be 50 years from now? Do you really think there's going to be a separate count there for African-Americans? 50. Let's just go ahead in time. Take a look at it. Realize it's a bad decision and nip it in the bud right now. But that's why, again, bad people and it sounds like a stupid phrase to use just bad people. But there are bad people out there who don't think to the future, though we have our flaws and we're as dumb as we could be. But we muddle along, and at least we have a general sense of, well, I don't want to spend every Nikolayev now because in a year and a half, the kids will need sneakers. You have some sense of what to do in life, as dumb as we can be. But those folks remember, once you're bad, you don't care. You just enjoy seeing someone unhappy and the IRS, because back when I would swing a hammer and do jobs and get ten, ninety nine and blah blah blah. They prey on a few things. Mm hmm. They prey on ignorance and they prey on poverty. And here's what I'm saying. First thing I did when I got into show business and I made, I made 10 cents was I said, I'm going to go get myself a money manager and I'm not going to. I will f**k this up. I will. I will end up in prison with Wesley Snipes and will make a great movie out of it once we get out. But getting out right, Jimi. Right. And and so I let I let the pros handle it. But back when I was self-employed, novice as a contractor and blah blah blah, you know, people would pay me, and I didn't have enough money to put aside 25 percent for Uncle Sam. I was just getting by. Plus, I was barely educated, naive. No, there was no discussion. And I, my high school classes about, you know, how you had to take care of this. And here's a form, and here's an easy form. And here's why the ten ninety nine is so you know, I would do a job for some guy and you know, he 10 99 me for 10 grand and I just look at it and throw it in my glove compartment. And the next thing, you know, five years goes by and I are asked, wants to know where their money is. So we work out a payment program with the IRS, but the payment program is you pay $49 a month for the rest of your life. When I finally got into show business and made some money and wanted to square up. With the IRS, I I was dumbfounded because I only owed them like five grand. That's right. And it may have been like $3500 or something. To me, it was a king's ransom when I was swinging a hammer and teaching boxing. I didn't have the money, but I said, OK, I'll pay you. It was really just like thirty four dollars a month. I did that for six years. And when it came time to settle up, I owed them exactly the same as I owe them six years earlier. I think we have a it's a racket and again, it preys on poor people because rich people can sort of afford to have people to do it. And also, when you have a choice between owing the government some money that may or may not come around to bite you in the a*s in the next couple of years and putting food on the table tonight, it's no choice. It's no choice. I think we have another call here on Line three, something that I've noticed actually, Paul. Yes, sir. Adam, what's going on, Paul? Oh, you know, just a busy day. Busy day. What's your what are your thoughts? Well, I've been hearing a thing about the Hollywood sign, and developers want to develop a fund like a luxury condos up there and knowing knowing that you're a Hollywood native, want to get your opinion on it? Well, I've I've passed the sign. The sign was draped actually with with a banner on it. Here's what I know because I've been driving up and down that area just the last few days and I happened to see it just yesterday, actually. I was told that the land is leased by Hollywood, but it's not owned by Hollywood. Somebody somebody owns that land. Now I I own a house up in Hollywood land, and I guess it's good enough time as any to give people just a quick thumbnail sketch of the history of Hollywood. That's the Hollywood sign and or Hollywood land, because I don't think a lot of people know that story. Hollywood land is a development. Hollywood land was built in the 20s 1923. I own a house up there from nineteen twenty three, so it's it was the third house that was built in Hollywood land. Somebody in the 20s had this idea. How about we go up this canyon called Beechwood Canyon somewhere about three quarters of the way up? We'll put a couple of big granite guard towers and we'll have a gate there that we'll have a filling station in a school and some buses, and we'll put some houses up here and it'll be a little gated community. It could have the Hollywood sign could have read Kaufman and Broad, but it read Hollywood land because that was the name of their development. So I have old books that have my house in it as Hollywood land and pictures of my house with the Hollywood land sign behind it. I spoke to the when I was rebuilding the house, when I bought it some years ago, the 85 year old woman who grew up in it as a young girl and it was real. It was something out of the shining star showing me pictures, showing me pictures of her and a little, you know, that little dress with the bow in the hair and everything sitting in front of the house, you know, circa 1931 and that kind of thing. But she told me we went up to my office on the second floor that has sort of a clear shot to the Hollywood sign. And she said this used to be my bedroom and I used to fall asleep every night to the Hollywood land sign, which had 10000 light bulbs in it at the time. And that's what I would look at flickering every night. And then she offered me a blowjob and I thought, wow, because I really thought we were going another direction here, by the way, so did I look. But you know what? I took it. I was single at the time. I didn't force her into it. Look any port in a storm. And by the way, she she used her stroke cane to steadier. And it was some of the best love I've ever had that sign, said Hollywood Land. It had a hundred thousand light bulbs in it and it was literally screwed in. And it was and it flashed Hollywood land and that was their whole thing. Come down and buy a house. Well, you know, I'm guessing that's twenty three. The depression is what, twenty seven? Twenty six year old? Twenty nine when it hits and then goes through the next actually, Black Friday was twenty one and the real depression didn't hit till thirty two. But anyway. Oh, really? I thought it start. I thought it spilled into the 20s. Either way, those were the roaring 20s the depression hits. Obviously, everything falls apart, and now it just like any other land. Deal that sort of just went bust. It just people to start jumping off the ship, and now we're left with a sign that says Hollywood land my house and a guard gate that was never finished. And then at some point people just start building houses up there from bad houses from the 60s and the 70s. And somewhere along the line, the land falls off and the sign falls into disrepair, and it's considered an eyesore and a nuisance. And no one knows what to do with it. And then some point, I don't know Johnny Carson get some money together and puts the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, and Johnny Grant does something, and somehow it becomes an icon and they realize they have lemonade here. Not not a lemon. And let's refurbish it and let's dump some money into it. And now it's an icon known the world over. I mean, it's as big as the Great Wall of China. I mean, in terms of recognition or the pyramids or any anything else. So now something is going on where the land is leased, they want to sell it. The city doesn't want to give them what they think it's worth, and they want to build condos on it. And Donnie, what did that sign say? You showed me picture. Show me the picture of it again. I just saw it. Yeah, save our peak. So the Hollywood land, the Hollywood sign just the other day said, Save our our peak and I don't know who put that up there. Danny, do you know who put that up there? I don't remember. I think of the. It's it's just some. I think like environmental people don't want houses and stuff built. But here is the whole thing that I was looking at it and I thought, that's not guerrilla warfare. No, no, no. This was planned and everybody knows that it's happening because I think because the people wanted to walk up a fire road that goes behind the Hollywood sign and I've done that before. It's a dirt fire road. It goes behind it. And then there's actually a bunch of radio antennas up there and a firehouse which has a big pool, by the way, like the cushy house gig in terms of firefighting, it's got to be sitting behind the Hollywood sign with Olympic sized pool. I'm not sure, but it might also have been a resort. There was like a radio station or a radio station, like something that was up there and you could like take horses and go to wherever. I'm sorry. The Los Angeles City Councilman Tom LaBonge and his officials tour public land temporary covered Hollywood sign or save the peak. Yeah. So they want to not have that land developed, by the way, just to say quickly, if no one, if the City Council or the state or somebody wants to save that land, then they should. They can't just take the land from someone. If folks own it, whether it's for 100 years or not, or some devote they have to buy it. You can't just public domain or whatever that thing is that that they just take things from people. It's not like you're putting up a military base. You have to pay for it. So if when he says, save the peak, I don't know this fellow, maybe he's a good councilman on the back of wind. All right. You know what an empty vessel, what I call them? Here's one of those. He's one of those dicks that politicians do that thing that used car salesmen do where they use your name. Right? And they do it all the time and they say, they meet you. They go, Oh, Larry Miller. And then you talk to them and they do. There's two things they say your name over and over again. And then they try to create some sort of bridge between your life. I have children as well, Larry. That's right. I understand Larry. I have and I do have a nine year old who's playing Pop Warner Football, Larry. So, Larry, Larry, I understand exactly where you're coming from. I share Larry. I, I share your Larry. Concerns, Larry. So except for Tom, LaBonge is what everyone in L.A. sort of semi r****ded from Villaraigosa on down. And LaBonge is just this sack of he's just a sack of hot s**t. And I talk to him once about something except for he f**ked up my name and called me Allen, in which case he then called me Allen. 14:00 Allen. I share. And somewhere around the 56th time he called me Allen, I just thought, You know? Let's just let this one go. So I guess you don't want to have him on the El Portal show because he contacted August about coming on to preserve this. Now I've talked to Tom LaBonge about a few things. I think he's worthless. You know, I don't think. I don't. First off, anyone has anything to do with Los Angeles, with all the garbage everywhere. We just start over with the politicians, all all, all the graffiti everywhere in the barbed wire everywhere and just all the garbage. Forget it. That guy's a sack of wind. Yeah. Isn't it kind of funny? I think we're coming full circle as far as endangered species. You know, the California flag, the Golden Bear? That's a eureka. Yes. Well, that bear's gone. It's not even endangered, is it funny with the Hollywood sign? Like Hollywood is being chased out of Hollywood and the only thing is going to be left is this remnants of this? Yeah, Hollywood is in Prague filming right now. That's that's a good point. You know what you think? Maybe if these folks are sort of draping that sign could do something to make it a little more attractive for studios not to go to Prague or Bulgaria and make movies there. So that, by the way, all the crew members, all the people who are tied third and fourth generation making movies could still keep their houses here and in Agoura and all sorts of places. You know what, so that maybe things can be made here because that's actually a real disgrace. But that fits my theory, by the way, that city councils all across America, mayors, state legislatures will never, ever stop gangs, but they'll certainly see to it that McDonald's doesn't build new stores, right? Absolutely. This if you if you go through L.A., it's a first off. I can't believe the Hollywood sign is not being tagged as we speak. Maybe it's just because it's being draped with these Save the Pete. This town is filled with nothing but graffiti and barbed wire and abandoned sofas that have been dragged up side streets. Everywhere you go, we can walk down the street and show you all the garbage. It gets dropped off over here. None of that ever gets addressed. The schools don't get addressed, but the Hollywood signs do and not building a Costco or target somewhere. That definitely is something they get behind, too. God forbid, more tax money and revenue come into our city, which is broke, by the way. Yes, I agree. We have to pony up the cash if we want the land that the Hollywood sign is on. And yes, you can walk up behind the Hollywood land sign. But if you ever start walking and I should say Hollywood sign, if you ever hop a fence and start heading down toward the sign, there will be a helicopter that is on you almost immediately. Yes, I don't know why it is, but you cannot just picnic at the base of the L. Why is that? Well, first off, couple of starlets have killed themselves. Oh, jumping off the H or whatever which I I find romantic much better than the aforementioned Japanese soldier falling on a sword. Jumping off an h is bad, by the way. It's got to be funny for her, you know, sisters and, you know, parents. And what happened to Sheila? She fell off a consonant, by the way she died. Perhaps a good place to move to end in the show, um, for today is to sing as a charitable message, as a way to help people. We know what really helps if you're a beautiful starlet and you're not getting work in Hollywood before you jump off the H. Remember, there are a lot of lonely young men out there who who just may not be as attractive as the boyfriend used to have. Or as the producer who said he'd give you a part. They may not be that attractive. So before you jump off the H, donate a couple of weeks to a couple of guys build their confidence. Here's how I would put it before you jump off the H. Let somebody fill your show before you jump off, jump off a dresser onto a guy. I can. That's the point. Your head cut out it says Larry says, like one of those 50s cigarette assets. All right. The great Larry Miller. Where the hell did the time go? Larry can be found at Larry Miller Humor NBC.com Also 10 Things I Hate About You ABC Family Second season premieres March twenty ninth. We can be found at the El Portal Theatre. That's February 29th doing the theatre show the seventh. It's oh, I'm sorry, you're right. Twenty seventh, I'm staring at it right now. You're the 29th. Where are the twenty seven Saturday show? HBO's My Restaurant or the one I own 10 percent of is going to be down there serving up the pizza, and we're going to have the booze flow in and we'll have all the friends of the show there in the family, and we're going to show midnight showing of the hammer. And it is going to be nothing short of a party. Dr. Drew joining us for the second show. Also, once again, the Irvine shows, which just came out great are up on the website. Go down kirloskar to ninety nine. It's the least you can do. We got some overhead over here. We got bandwidth and we've got warehouses and we've got equipment and the way you can help us keep it all going and keep it coming to you every single morning. It's just a hit click and buy to ninety nine hour and a half comedy show. And by the way, all the 600 people that showed up to Irvine on two sold out shows the other night paid twenty five bucks a ticket. And then had a two drink minimum. And with the cheese sticks and the hot wings, nobody got out of there for under 50 bucks. You're getting what they got minus the spit that I may have hit some of the first row folks with four 299. It's well worth the experience. Thanks, Larry. So until next time, the zadam curl up for Larry Miller saying Mahalo. All right. Adam Carolla shops with 263, with Larry Miller in studio. Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla Show 265 this once featuring Robert Schimmel. Yeah, this one's featuring the late, great Robert Schimmel. Phone call from Carson Daly. We'll skip Tavern Stephens, Teresa Strasser and Bryan Bishop, also from February of 2010. Check it out. But if anyone can do it, here comes Robert Schimmel. Thanks, David. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. I look forward to watching Vampire Sex Diaries. I learn. So I took notes when she was describing that $5000. I'm glad we got to the bottom of a**l bleaching, right? Robert, come on in. a**l bleaching. Wow. How do you feel? I've been on your health. Um, well, how's my health? Yes. Oh, well, I there was all this talk. I didn't hear it on Howard Stern, but it was all this talk about you asking for liver on Howard Stern. No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't asking. Well, see, I just heard it. I just heard it secondhand. That was my problem. What was that story? What was the controversy? Well, you can see that I have a Billy. Mm-Hmm. And put my arms and legs. Just then I constantly get asked by people, I mean, for the last few years. So what happens is I had a bad transfusion in nineteen. Sixty eight, really, when I was in the Air Force, yeah, and nothing. And then like in 98. So 30 years later, yeah, I 98, I go to a checkup and my liver profile comes back weird so that I didn't want to do a scan and all this stuff. And then they tell me that I have cirrhosis of the liver and that I was exposed to hepatitis and that I never really drank. And though no gay sex or intravenous, I could, I couldn't get it like in a fun way, and right fusion is the least fun way to get it. They had no way of testing in those days anyway. They just did, right? So what happened was they told me then that I was going to need a liver transplant eventually back in ninety eight, 1990, just like Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale. So I said, OK, and I get worked up into the whole system there, and it's and they're very, very strict. It's a whole strict thing because of Mickey Mantle, because, yeah, all these people. Well, unless you watch 60 Minutes about two months ago and there's a Japanese drug cartel, guys have to come in and get liver transplants because believe it or not, these guys in the La Costa Nostra or whatever of Japan are so covered in tattoos and they drink so much that their their body doesn't flush itself and they all get this. They need liver transplants. And there's all this dicey stuff about these guys making these sort of five hundred thousand dollar donations to Cedars-Sinai and coming out and jumping in line. So we're actually giving gangsters from Japan who are from, by the way, their fingers cut off. Because when you get, you know, when you scream and they're covering their sleeve with dragon tattoos and no one says anything and I got a five hundred thousand dollar donation, it's bulls**t. Well, but it's not supposed to be like that. And there's an organization called, you know, that actually is in control of organ transplantation. And not every state shares with other states, and there's a certain criteria you have to meet. And people really got pissed off after Mickey Mantle and a few other people because he basically abused himself. And then they jumped to the top of the list, right? And then continue drinking. So what happened was, how do you do that, by the way? I mean, do I mean, I understand I was your publicist do that for you? Like, who makes that phone call? Like, I mean, when you're Mickey Mantle, I know you're Mickey Mantle, but who? I guess? Who do you know on the inside your doctor? Call somebody. But in those days, it wasn't regulated like that. Right. So they're working me up and they're saying, OK, so I'm 80 positive, and I actually it's a rare blood. But the advantage is I'm a universal recipient, so you can take a liver from a black guy. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that is awesome. You know, here's the greatest. You know, they some places are doing living donors where you get a third of the donors, the living person's liver, right? They take yours out completely. Put the third in. You know, the donor's liver completely regenerates your skin. A couple of months is the only organ that does regenerate five months. Yes, and then your whole liver regenerates from that. My perfect match. So your liver, you're the third they gave you, goes into a whole liver. He's I my my perfect match. Is my ex-wife, my first wife? She recently left for the Navy? Oh no, no, that's the first exit. Yeah, that's the first to. When he laughed and she shouted as Schimmel backed out of the driveway and to the 2002 liver, one day you're going to need heard of my liver. They had to stop and it just kept going. And it's about regeneration and it got pretty technical. And then she said, We'll see. And then you took off. Actually, she she actually offered about two weeks ago because we have four children together. And, you know, we get along really great. But I have an 11 year old son and they really frown upon doing that because both, God forbid, if something happens to both of us, then you have children that don't have a parent, right? So it's not like you have the recipe for coke or anything. I mean, so it raise them, they have God, whatever. So what happens is in ninety eight, ninety nine, they weren't using beepers anymore because they used to have beepers and the beeper would be from the hospital. And when that went off, it was go time and you go for things. Somebody got into an accident on my date, my stepdad had a kidney transplant. We had that beeper for months and then like on holidays, you're you're you're hyper vigilant because like on Christmas Eve or oh, there's somebody like when you go to Universal City Walk and you go to Fuddruckers. They were pretty crowded, but yes, you can walk around. It's just like, that is great. You can make it in the Nike store with this thing right now. Would this be a good time to hear my drop? And I wanted to show off lesson I love. Oh, Brian, you haven't heard this in order to this drought. It's my first attempt. It's not that good. It's long and I think it's pretty good to be chopped up. Put your put your headphones on if you if you can take months. And by the way, you I I'm fascinated by this whole organ transplant. I never really got more because there's I mean, it's not it's a great thing. But you know, there's other sides. There's a flip side to I have much to say about it as well, but first we'll hear the drop. This is for Brian that Teresa put together. See if we can find on slamming a benign or shut the f**k up and shut the f**k up down. Shut the f**k up, Donnie. Forget it, Donnie, you're out of your Ellerbe, Donnie. Will you shut the f**k up? I done tonight, Donnie, you're out of your element, Donnie, the next day, I think St. Anthony. So what's your point? Shut the f**k up, Danny. Danny, shut up. Why don't we play? Yeah, a couple of good news were dropped in there because I yelled, Shut the f**k up Danny last week and then we brought this right? Yeah, I just found that on YouTube, but I figured you could chop it up into a few. Did. All right. So now back to Robert's clip. So here's what happens. They wind up so they don't want to use your wife and you. Well, that is recently because it's because it's will is a risk. But this is a great breakthrough that you can take part of. A is matching not not every hospital does it. And if they do do it, they prefer that it's either someone in your family or like a childhood friend, not for strangers or for kids they're scared of. Because that's right, sir. I literally got over three thousand emails in two days and about 400 people said, I'm a b positive. I want to be your donor. So I call up Mayo and they said, You know what? We don't do it like that. They said, What's the person's? What's their motive for wanting to do that? What about just a selfless act and what could be what could make you feel better about yourself? Yeah. Well, first you got to find a doctor that even understands what a selfless act is because they say what happens in two years when the guy calls you up and says, You know what? I can't make my mortgage payments and I saved your life and gave you a third of my liver. And then, you know, what do you do? I mean, you have the same person in your life, like forever. I'm at Caesar's Taj Hotel Pass and she thinks, Yeah, I'm not there, but I got you. So then they gave me a cell phone. This is in ninety nine. Take the cell phone just in case, because Arizona only shares with like two states. I said, OK, well, I'm on stage. I got the phone in my back pocket. It's on vibrate. I'm half way through. I said all of a sudden my back pocket is like vibrating and I'm like, s**t, this is it. It's go time. They're going to call me, say, You know what? Someone was in an accident. We got the liver. Get down here because you know, you could be in Youngstown, Ohio, and you only have a certain amount of time to get to Phoenix. Right. And there are people that actually volunteer and donate like like private jets and pilots and get you there, like from Youngstown to wherever I tell the audience I got to take the phone call. It might be an emergency. I answered the phone and this guy's like, Hi, this is Steve from AT&T. I want to make sure you're happy with your service. Join said. You've got to be kidding me. Do you need a Kelly? No, I said, I have call waiting, right? Because I could be getting the call right now, and I'm talking to you. So then still progressing the plane for a good 10 minutes, though up on stage? Yeah, I'm sure. And then I get diagnosed with cancer, right? Well, then when you get diagnosed with cancer, you get kicked off the list, right? You're now no longer a great candidate. You're not OK. Yeah, you would be a waste of a liver. Yeah. So and well, I make the Ed Bradley face about two hours. So what happens is after that you got to be in remission for for three or four years before you can work yourself way back up there. And I mean, they're basically what they're saying is and it's sad, but it's true. If you had a nineteen year old son that was in line for a liver and they gave it to a guy who was riddled with cancer, you'd be like, What the f**k? You got to go through a lot of tests, and that might not make it for the next five years. A fine line. You got to be sick, but not too sick, just sick. You could be too sick where you were. You're not a can of worms. And the thing is, is that the other the other side is you get the transplant and then you have to be on immune suppressive medication for the rest of your life so that you don't reject the donor organ. Mm-Hmm. Well, if you have cancer or if you have one cancer cell left and you knock out your immune system that can come right back and then you can't get chemo and radiation again right away on top of the donor egg and Whack-A-Mole. Now, even if let's jumping ahead here, if they let your wife do the partial transfer transplant, whatever, would you still need to be on the moon? Yes, right? Even though you match, yes, it's still a four, and the chances are better, but it's not my tissue. And see, that's that. That's the problem with some people have with the whole idea of transplant is that if it was a natural thing, why would you have to take immunosuppressant medication? It's obviously it's something that doesn't belong in your body, and you have to take meds for the rest of your life to make sure your body doesn't win the fight and say, Get out of here because you don't belong here. What I mean, that argument can be made for everything. But I know a lot of people that they just don't believe in it, they wouldn't do it. I can't stand those f**king hypocrites. I mean, and I say hypocrites because the second their son or daughter needed something they cared for. My daughter, Jessica, is a diabetic and she got in a fight once we're at a dinner in a conversation because it just happened to come up that one day she might need a kidney transplant. It happens with diabetics. I'm. And this guy said, You know, I don't believe in that. You should leave the Earth the way you came into it. And it's not. It's not right to have somebody else's thing. And Jessica says to the guy, You know what? I'm not going to argue with you. It's your body. And it's it's your prerogative. Whether you want to do something like that or not, you could use. I think you could save like twenty three or twenty four lives, one cadaver with all the different body parts. But she said, if you don't want to, you should never have to do it. But if I was governor, this is the way I would change the law. If you don't sign your driver's license that says that you're you're you're a donor, yeah, then you can't be a recipient either, right? Apps, a f**king. I can't believe that doesn't already exist. It doesn't go. I would do. I would do two things I would absolutely say, Look, if you don't want none and you ain't giving none and you ain't getting any. That's number one. And I would take it a step further. I would say when he went in to do your license, you wouldn't have to sign up to be a donor. You would be a donor unless you check a box. I don't want to be a donor and here they actually are trying that right now, where you have to fill out paperwork to say you don't want to be right. I yeah, whatever you have to make it easy bye and give them a choice, obviously. But it's it's it's so insane that in our society, it's like somebody will say, I have an idea about harnessing the power of wind and making free clean electricity and some group steps out and chained themselves to a bulldozer. And you're like, What the f**k, really? I mean, I have a here's what I'd like. I'd like monarch butterflies to be put on the endangered species list so that they weren't killed by kids with snow shovels. And somebody would step up and go, I hate monarch. Butterflies are what gives you the right or I. I really do think most those a*****es are just f**king professional arguers. Like, I really don't think they give a s**t about butterflies or kidneys. I just think they're just dicks who have it. And then they make the slippery slope argument all the time. They go, Oh, well, it's OK. Yeah, no. What's wrong with that? Nothing at first glance. But eventually you go to the DMV and some jackbooted thugs comes up behind you and he says, Give me your kidneys and you say, But I'm fine. And he says, I don't care. I have the right because I have the right, because we signed the paper and they're marching into your house and they're telling you what TV show to watch and when you can and can't have sex with your wife and they're pulling kidneys out of you while you're attempting to have sex with. It's it's a r****ded, slippery slope s**t that they always do, and it's like, I totally agree with that part, that whole karma. And getting in a car accident part where you go, look, dill weed. You don't believe in this. You don't want any part of this fine. You ever need a liver? No. Can do. So if you don't believe in disturbing God's universe, then let's not filter your water. Also, why are you allowed to drive a car? Take a horse, right? I mean, at what point is? Well, of course. I mean, to me, every I got an argument like that with somebody over stem cell research and they said, You know what? It's not we're not meant to play God and that you know that people women are going to start getting pregnant on purpose and aborting intentionally to sell the fetuses first. And I said, Where are you getting that from? That comes from a woman who's who can't, who can't get pregnant on her own. She goes to the clinic, let's say she has ten eggs. They take them out. They freeze them. She wants a baby. They put an egg in, they fertilize it. She wants three more kids. If she has five kids and says, I don't want the other five, the other five go in the garbage, right? They don't become other people. They never work and to become another person. And the guy said, Well, you can't play God. That's not right. And I said, OK, you know what? You know, or that little guy in The Passion of the Christ. Yeah, Dempsey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jim Caviezel. He can play God. Yeah. Well, but here's the deal. I'll go along with that. It's not right to play George Burns. But. But if it's not right to play God, aren't you playing God when you fertilize the egg that couldn't get fertilized? Yes. I mean, I just think you're circumventing God's will by forcing a pregnancy. See, look, any time you save a life, you're playing God. I mean, any time you throw someone who got. No moped accident into the back of an ambulance and drive them somewhere and resuscitate them, as well as CPR, blood transfusion, whatever, I mean, listen, I had hernia surgery five years ago. I could or would have died eventually from this rupture and my whatever. It was a simple surgery. But yet whoever did it technically in seventeen twenty one, I wouldn't have made it to seventeen twenty six, you know, so r****ded like less. Same thing with insulin, then that wouldn't exist. That wasn't here. Of course not. Collapse, it's on. This is this is an advancement of it, but it always advances. I mean, what were we doing in the fifties and and yes, you had a blood transfusion, you know, World War Two, they literally wouldn't have given you one from a guy from a different race, you know? Yeah. So we move forward. I don't understand the f**king foot draggers, you know what I mean? Like, what are we doing marching off into the new millennium? I want to argue. I feel like when I do, please take my corneas, my skin, my heart, my lungs, my kidneys. Anything you can't do you any good anymore. I'm gone. So why not? If you give somebody the gift of sight, yes or of life, you save their life and they have a fat. They have a second chance of having another life. So Regina first accepted anything. And now and also you want to talk about that part where they go like, well, you know, Tim's gone, but his spirit lives and all those who work with him at the rendering plant, you know, it's like you really you really want your spirit to go on, have keep some young kid alive or give someone the vision of the gift of sight. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's that's a legacy. Yeah, no, it is. So the reason why I wound up saying something was I was tired of coming up with, I can't drink because you can't drink when you have liver problems, but I never really drank. But in this town, if somebody goes, Can I get you a drink? You have a club soda. Oh, he's in the 12-Step program, right? I think he's just right away. Send your friend a bell and I can't. I'm not even really supposed to use mouthwash that has alcohol in it. I mean, not really. And and there's also such a negative connotation attached to having liver disease or cirrhosis, especially if it's from a transfusion or whatever. They might imagine a really bad choice as well between the the soda water and the liver problem. Oh, wow, this guy was just right this way all the time over the 80s and the 90s. And then the hep, the hepatitis part of it is well taken up friends with Eddie Murphy. I see that is a kind of. So yeah, and I just didn't want to do it anymore. I just didn't. I just did it. You know what, when I walked out of there and it was, this wasn't planned at all. Well, Darren, you're talking. Yeah, but when I walked in, it's been a secret since ninety eight you. I'll tell you, who knew my manager, Lee, my family, my doctors and one of my opening acts in case something happened to me on the road that they wouldn't say, Hey, Stone, just let them sleep it off, right? Right. Other than that, nobody was a total secret, and when I walked out of there, I literally felt like somebody lifted a giant weight off my shoulders that I didn't have to like. Make up another story about it. I was not procuring a liver on there. I I'm pretty honest about my life anyway, on on stage and everywhere. And and I wanted people to know that, first of all, of allergic to compelling discussion about more organs. I think the liver disease is more common than people even know. And well, there is a little secret. There's a little bit of a shame factor. Yeah, so so now your weight loss date's over it. You want to catch it when you start. Oh yeah, you won't do you. You did your cancer treatment, you're back in line. You had a, you know, 12 year head start in line, but you got pushback. How close to the top of the list? Yeah. When did you get the advantage of having rare blood is that you wind up getting up to the job? Where did you where did you end up on the list? I mean, when did you get back on the list now? Yeah, I'm not on yet. I'm still going through testing to see if you can get on to see if I can get on, but with this new partial transplant. But they don't do that at Mayo unless unless it's an immediate family member or a childhood friend. Well, living donors, they don't do that. Then it's expensive. You know how much it is, how much it's a half million dollars. If you have a living donor, it's a million dollars because you have to have two operating theatres right next to each other. So because you're literally taking the liver out of the third out of one person and going directly into you, it's never on ice. It's never it's never dead it. The rally is beating and then boom, bang right in you. Two million dollars, yeah, I the lady, my CPA's fiance, who is probably 48 years old, she went to Mayo a couple of years ago without telling me and went and got tested to see if she could be eligible. And then they called me in one day and I was in there with my dad and they said this girl volunteered. She wants to be a living donor. She's a match. We can do it and opened up a day runner and said, How's a week from Wednesday? And I almost s**t my pants. I mean, it's it's scary to even think about going. It's it's way bigger than open hard. It's a big deal. Yeah, and it's bigger than this. And this lady has an 11 year old daughter and a 13 year old daughter, and I'm saying, I can't do this. I mean, if she doesn't wake up, I can't live with myself. Tougher on the donor as a as a surgical. Not really. But they open you up from here all the way. You have like this Mercedes Insignia Scar. It's that big. It's a circle with the thing which my parents would really go for the Germans. Yeah, probably figure that one out. So you survived the hepatitis C, the non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, heart attack, heart attack. I could wind up actually being the last comic standing. And well, I'll say one of those a*****es that's against the organ transplant would say somebody had to play and then got hit. Oh, you know what? You know what's here to make people laugh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one. You know, that's the one. Or there's a play god to give things to people that they can't handle that like that aren't really hard. So you, I guess we're just somehow you're one of the guys in your platoon that said, give me Hep C, which I knew that other people couldn't handle it. So it's I just had to do it. Is this is it? Is it covered by insurance? Uh, depending on which hospital you go to? Yes, it's a lot of tests. The tests are really expensive. Even before you get there, they have to do everything. If your heart has to be in perfect shape, you have to pass a psychological test about whether you can handle it or not, and you have to have very strong support system. I mean, when you come out of there, you have to be. It's months to get over that. You have to have people around you all the time, which I don't because my people, are you killing somebody, the alimony? And what about the technology? Like, I'd never heard about the partial transplant? Yeah, I don't know. The technology is the that's a few years old, and that's how it works. But I also saw this subsequent 60 minutes showing it to growing things like they would grow. Yeah, those cells and you're there are people lived here. I met somebody that had a kid that had cancer that actually had another kid there was basically born to harvest their organs for this other child. That was that Cameron Diaz. Is that Ford movie? Yeah. With, uh, what's his name? They just said, came out. Yeah, I mean, people do that. Yeah, it's insane. And what country, by the way, is, I mean, other than Max, I know there was a tip of the spear becomes a medicine for India. You can get it pretty cheap. But the problem is you can go to India, China, all these other places. But once you get the surgery done there, no doctor here in their right mind is ever going to follow you up. Yeah, right. Because then they're the last link on the malpractice you don't get. You don't get the extended warranty when you leave China. I heard that what they were doing there was if you needed a liver or kidney or whatever that they would, you go over there and I care about things like fifty or seventy five thousand dollars cash, everything's cash when you go over there plus and they take a guy that's in jail, like on death row and they said, What do you need the liver? Bam, shoot the guy in the head. Take the liver out and get it right. Then that's the whole big thing about OK with that, too. Except for the part, we're talking about another Harrison Ford movie where you have the liver of a serial killer, and it just adds some points. So it's taken over. Yeah, I know my stepdad got a female kidney, and he did feel that he liked chick flicks after receiving there. No. You know what? I've read a lot about it, and it's a weird thing. There are people that have had heart, heart transplants that have like dreams with people in them that they don't know or have these memories or hear a song and it makes them cry. And the song never meant anything before really? Well, because the DNA, the other person's DNA is in the organ that you're taking sure it has to have a history of that person's. Life somewhere in that that you're right, that's I mean, it can't just be no, I mean, look good and then that's it. If they can do that thing where they have twins that get separated at birth and then they catch up to them in their 50s, and they both have the same job and they're both married, a chick named Tammy, and they both drive a red Buick. If that s**t can happen, and they never knew each other existed and one lived in Indiana and they lived in Arkansas. They never met, but they found all these crazy, crazy, you know, crazy similarities. If that can happen, I'll definitely buy the heart thing. Yeah. So right now, waiting to get back on the list? Yeah, going through tests. But I'm also looking into if I want to get like two or three opinions and because I'm 60. Is there a time thing? I mean, did anyone say, look, if this doesn't happen the next two years or whatever it is to you? Yeah, it's around them. Yeah. And you do feel confident about that. No. And I want to go see somebody like Dr. Andrew Weil or someone here. I don't know. I got to do research, but I want to. I want to look into a holistic approach. I think that there there are a lot of Chinese people and others that shouldn't even get their liver have. Yeah, and they're sick and they don't get transplanted. And I think that you can maybe buy diet if you know if I could, if I could stay the way I am and not get worse and stay because I've I eat pretty healthy and I've been pretty stable for a long time and stay the way I am. Without doing that, I would be happier than that than taking a risk. The older you get and then less work and then go through that and wake up to what maybe not doing stand up ever again and not being set for life, having financial problems and the stress of that going through a divorce while you're going through a liver transplant, I miss a lot of stuff. How does your newly ex-wife feel if she's been apologetic at all? Oh, that's good. This is a really bizarre thing. Last Thursday, she's she's been going out with this other guy, not the neighbor. Another guy, a new guy, another guy for a while. She calls me up. This is, I swear, I'm not regular, so you can't make this up. Calls me up. She's crying, so I'm scared on the phone. Robert and we never talked. So usually texting or when it's when it's about the kids, but no other kind of talk I just broke up with. This guy is refusing to leave. The house is screaming. He's punching the walls. You scared the s**t out of the kids. Come over here and get him out. Really? Oh my god. Come over here and get them out. Me so. So I called the Calabasas Sheriff's Department the same guys that arrested me, right? I said I was Robert Schimmel. Here's my phone number is my wife's phone number. Here's her cell number. She just broke up with the guy. He's refusing to leave the house. He's loud, he's hitting the walls and throwing stuff. I have two minor children. She's afraid for them. I'm worried for them. I never met the guy. She wants me to go over there. I really don't want to go over there. They said, You made the right choice. Do not go over. There will do it. They went over and she called me up like two hours later and then they took him out in cuffs. And you're like, What's his blood type? They shoot him in a cell. He'll get a liver. So all I was thinking is this is two times in a row that the police had to come to the house to get a guy out. Right? Yeah, right. Right. But she never called the police on either of them. She had someone call for me. Yeah, she let me go. Do her bidding, Robert. We're plumb out of time. Please come back any way. Like hearing, Yeah, yes, we're all. We're out of time for this, shall we? Any time he's like, Come back, I love this topic and I would love to hear updates on your health and we wish you well because we're such huge fans. And if you are a fan, you can go to Robert Schimmel dot com, by the way. See him at. Yes, you're going to say something, Robert. Yeah, I might might show some special just got released. So it's on there and it's it's called life since then, and it's about everything that had happened up to that point last year, including me going through cancer as a whole slide show at the end and everything. And it literally just came. It just came out this week, and there's all the appearances. You can just go to Robert Schimmel dot com and find out, well, that he's going to be in Tempe, Arizona, in early March and things like that. Also, you can go to the El Portal and see us do our live show with Kimmel and Dr. Drew and Bill Simmons, the sports guy and our DVD available at Adam Carolla dot com two hundred and seventy plus digital hours, all for your delightful consumption. And yes, that's our anniversary one year. Yeah, congratulations on a nice collector's series. I'm going to eat my. Of some pie. So until next time, oh, let's give out tease. You should see the parent experience on this channel on this network, which is doing quite nicely, and Bob Bryan is going to be doing a film criticism show coming up soon. So T toss out your website and Bob Bryan, toss out first. I'm at exploiting my baby dot com and please subscribe to the parent experiment with Lynette Khairallah. All right. Adam, Cool Show 265 with the late, great Robert Schimmel. Rest in peace. Up next, we have Adam Pro-jobs of 269 with Jordan, Jesse Go, Jordan Morris and Jesse Thawed Maximum Fun Podcast Network All Stars Kings podcast that launched it all, along with the Sound of Young America, which is now known as Bullseye, two different variation of a really good show that's been going on for quite some time. Jesse and Jordan both early podcast pioneers Jesse, of course, two in the business end of things, running the maximum fun network and all that entails. It was actually one of the head of the podcast Empires, one of the families who met at Cruella's compound for the patent trolls when it was all going down. Adam specifically mentioned some major networks that the patent trolls had to agree not to sue before anything else happened with the lawsuit or anything else was part of. The patent was dismissed. It was a real serious concern, and when Adam defeated them and had them running after spending a ton of money on legal bills, one of the networks they had specifically mentioned in one of the again five family survivors were at Adam's house was Jesse Thorn of Max and Phone, along with Mark Merritt and several other people very eager to be at Adam's house in the beck and call when he's the one being sued by a patent troll their whole livelihoods depend on. Very interesting turn of events. Great episode. Adam Cruzeiro 269. I got them on one of my bookings. Remember back the day after they're on, Donny was like, who's been on was greatly the he Jordan Jesse go really goes like those guys. Those guys. See if Donny was wrong. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on, no choice but to get it on mandate. Get it on. Welcome Jesse Thorn and Jordan Morris. They do themselves a well, let's describe. Let's let's let's go back and start at the beginning, you guys met at UC Santa Cruz. How many years ago? Ten, yeah. Yeah, to 2000. We started college. So yeah, yeah. 2000. And that's when you began doing radio. Well, first we did mushrooms, I'm sure. Like, I think they comes in your orientation packet at UC Santa Cruz. You get a get a get a bag of mushrooms, a hacky sack. Yeah. And take away your shoes. It's a reverse gift. Yeah, it's yeah, it's the only. It's the only one when you're filling out the paperwork to be admitted where there's a box that says Lightweight heavyweight, right? Yeah, yeah. Diabetic, sure. Yeah. It just, yeah, there's this one box and there's the question says, Are you cool? Because I check box for 420 friendly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's all really my if I had a college, that would be the only thing on the application, which would be, are you cool or not? Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're up tight. We don't need 500 word. Also, no fatties, no face. The 500 word application essay was on the subject of which strain of marijuana from history, which you most like to have dinner with. UC Santa Cruz sounds just I've driven through it a few times on my on my way to the Bay Area and kind of Northern California beach town surfing. It's a it's a really nice. It's frankly it's like it's just it's such a nice place, you know, it's so pleasant. I have this theory that two nice sort of like what I learned from watching all the rocky movies, which is when stuff gets too nice, you lose a little of the eye of the student. You know, like, I know, like, I have a lot of friends that grow up out out here in the San Fernando Valley. And I shouldn't say a lot of friends, but three to three guys end up going to UC Santa Barbara. Sure. And they never wanted to come back. And some of them didn't. Yeah, yeah. I have a girlfriend who just went there when she was 18 and a half, and she's now forty five and she's living in. Living in Santa Barbara, like, just like, f**k it. Why should I go back to life? And it's and it's and you can see the people's like ambitions kind of start to shrink. It's like when you start college, it's like, Oh, you know, I want to I want to work with disenfranchised women. And then you and then you meet the buddy who stayed in the college town is like, I'm thinking a good idea might be a website about sculptures, right? You know, it's just like it's learning how to do bike repairs. My, my, my, my buddy. Carl went to a UC Santa Barbara for four or five years in UC Santa Barbara is kind of like the frat ear version of, yeah, maybe a little more drinking, a little less weed. It's it's like a what a cardigan is to a hoodie. That said, you guys are both both, OK, keep your warm. They're both made out of cotton once just a little more. A little more formal. Not uptight. It's a little more formal. It's about cultural association. Yeah, they I mean, UC Santa Cruz is the stoned cousin of UC Santa Barbara, which is the stoned cousin of UCLA and Cal Wright and Stanford and all that stuff. So my stoned non-Asian, right my my poor body went from living on the beach and Isla Vista, basically living on a cliff above the beach in Isla Vista to wade. Now a clear point of clarification was he living on a cliff above the beach in a house? It was in a house. In a house is too real. Yeah, you could go. If he was in a house with five other guys, I was in my water. All right, that's all right. Podcast rests on a cliff above beach and then came back to L.A. and started to go go to work at a print shop in in like south, central or East L.A. with a bunch of illegals. And I could just see the look of red on this poor guy's face. He was so miserable there, and he sees the face tattoos on his co-workers, just like the tears. And you're like, he doesn't. He's not doesn't have those tears on his face because he's so sensitive. He didn't see a lot of guys with the LAPD on their eyelids, back and at college. So the point is is, I guess you don't want your kid to go to a school that's so comfortable that they don't want to leave to be everywhere else. I mean, you don't want the kid. You don't want the whole place to feel like a hot tub. So any time you climb out, you're like, Oh, it's freezing and it's like it's eighty one degrees. Oh, did someone give me a robe? I'm getting back in like, that's what you don't want, right? Like big activities at UC Santa Cruz. A good example. Climbing A. Famous tree, right? This is not where you're when you're a parent, this is not necessarily what you're choosing for your child to pursue in the world of higher education. I mean, it's a famous tree, so it has that going for it. So you guys, you guys hooked up there in the. Yeah, we were we were in the same. We were in the same dorm at Zordon Xray. He's trying not to say that because it sounds gay. Uh huh.. Uh huh.. A you're you're you're the resident administrator. What is that? It's like, it's like, Yeah, yeah, the guy who is the guy who tells people to quiet down. And, you know, but I mean, this guy, that guy walks around and says, no hot plates I just see distributes free condoms, right? Oh yeah. At UC Santa Cruz, a big problem was people who were hiding like pet snakes in their rooms, a lots of snakes, a lot of pet tarantulas you had to like kind of try to try and catch out of your peripheral. That sounds like a joke. Real thing. And so would there be like periodic room searches or random room search? No, there's nothing like that. This is UC Santa Cruz. I mean, it's it was really a matter of like unless you're actively bothering someone. I don't think you could pretty much do almost anything unless you were like randomly injecting people with heroin. Yeah, they're pretty cool with you, you know, experimenting. Just be safe about it, kids. That's kind of the tude over there. The whole like education program was about, you know, what kind of stuff you should and shouldn't cut your drugs with. Sure. Yeah. You don't want to step on your coke with baby laxative or something like that. By the way, Jesse does the sound of Young America, which is on public radio, I guess world, or at least nationally. Yeah, nationwide. And then the show you guys do together. Jordan, Jesse, go, I think Jordan, I ran into you at the Seth Macfarlane Haiti Relief Festival, a concert, a table read or whatever you want to call it. You had your shirt off. You were doing your show at that point. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I my non podcast job is I do like field reporting for a fueled TV, which is the board sports network. Your surfing, your skating and yeah, in a big part of my position over there is they like goofy celebrity interviews. So, you know, I do a lot of shirtless ness. DeVito insisted that he take off his shirt. Oh, really? Yeah. No, that was actually a mandate from DeVito. That wasn't just me to take rabble rousing, but it was the Vito DeVito. You know, it's very nice. Not in his right mind. Clearly something in a phone interview with With the Man, which always isn't the best way to interview somebody, but I found it to be. It's still just a little off show, a little off or a little slow or something certainly doesn't seem as together as he does in the print advertisements for Danny DeVito's Limoncello. Right? He does not. Yes, he does. There he is. He's got the cello. He's got the lemons. Well, this weird in our in our business because you think you know somebody from TV and other characters, you know, the persona. You know them from their body of work where somebody recorded a death to smoochy, right? And somebody wrote a script and they memorized the words and they spat it out. And then you interview them and you're like, Oh, this isn't the guy from taxi or this. That guy was funny or that guy was crazy or that guy was whatever. And then you start to realize, Well, I should be more sophisticated than that. I shouldn't just assume everyone. Right? You know, I shouldn't. If I ever interviewed the guy who played Balki and Bosom Buddies, you're the perfect street. Perfect stranger. Sorry, I have a hard time myself. Yes, my mom puts her hands in front of her face. I think she's disappeared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not like her. I know then people do it to me. They go like, Oh, we don't want that guy from the man show. And I go, You don't know me. And then I realize I do that with everyone else, too. You know, I still think Dolph Lundgren is Drago, but as a human being, I interviewed in a junket setting. I don't know if you're familiar with the actor, Chiwetel Ejiofor. He was in the red belt. He was, yeah, he was the lead of Wow. This was actually for for red belt. You know your name? Yeah, that's totally that guy. I would f**k that name up so well, we just I've yeah, I've been pretty good with, tell Ejiofor. Yeah, you should tell. I should tell and sure to. But the fact that I'm getting it right is just right. So no gospel, but yeah, you know, and I've been a fan of his and he's very commanding in movies. Sure. Yeah. Using children of men, he was kind of the the the bad a*s general met him in real life schlumpy as slouching nervous nerd. Yeah. Well, you know, it was it was, you know, not quite analogous, but pretty close. Christoph Waltz. Who came in here a couple of months back and I'm positive, is going to walk with the Oscar because he was amazing on Sunday night. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's definitely going to win this Best Supporting Actor competition in that. And and we're, by the way, I think we're going to rerun his interview on this podcast on Monday because it seems seems fitting after he wins the Oscar Sunday night. I'm going to try and dive like a Coke overdose this weekend. So you rerun this? Oh yeah. Yeah. Cool. Thanks. We can run it on. We can piggyback it on the Waltz's thing on Monday. Like Tinder music, though, so like people know that it's like the gravity of the situation that it's it's a sad thing that a funny. Right, right? And he was, I mean, he played it the crazy Nazi Jew hunter. Sure. And he was a little bit fey in person. Articulate. Interesting. Nice. But I was thinking this guy could be bi. Did you not find him say in the movie? Because I guess I kind it was one of the best parts about his performance in the movie is his combination of murderous and fey. Yeah, yeah, it's normally one or the other, but rarely both. Yeah, I try. I found it to be quite charming. No, no, you're right. You're right. I mean, it was understated, but still somehow wearing the big leather Nazi duster and all the garb and the swastikas everywhere. And now that you're seeing that, that still is sounding kind of funny. Yeah, you're right, leather. That's one of the things with German ness is you're either the German accent in the German language. If it's not completely evil and scary, it's a little bit gay. It's right. That's an excellent observation, Jordan. Thank you. Well, they were. I mean, so I got to say this about, you know, especially when they I don't know. I was watching 60 Minutes over the weekend and they were talking about the Armenian Genocide and, you know, they want Turkey to take responsibility for it and they're showing like, this is Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney. But yeah, it was funny. I mean, it was to hear him say it was funny. I'm not doing because he's such a curmudgeon. You had to have him. What about the Armenian Genocide? And then those Venetian blinds that you hated every time with the turkey and you. Our mass graves is a mass grave, a grave that goes on a ship. Is it more than one body, a mass? Technically? Is it what? Yeah. Like is it? Is it defined the same way between an orgy and a montage? What is exactly the difference? And is that what makes a mass grave you hate more than ten corpses or what four do it? Is it OK that I prefer uncooked bread to toast? What is it with toast? Yeah. So no, it was. I don't know who was talking about it, but but I was watching some of the Turkish army march around and it's like, it's like, Look, first off, you're not instilling fear into the hearts of anybody with that goofy march you're doing. And your outfits are crazy and you really need it. You need a makeover. Like they knew all these things where they're giving, you know, single women makeovers. And I know homes makeovers. They need army so that work needs to take kind of a brassy, middle aged lady and maybe an older silver fox gay man and really just like him, Gunn Military Group. And oh, let's talk to the fire. Let's close to the FMLA. Yeah, let's lose the beret. That's so go. Hit the Swiss Guard. See what's what's up with the crazy chaps or whatever it is? Well, I was saying, Yeah, I'm saying, like the Nazis had a crazy head of highly refined aesthetic there. Look, whoever did you know, interior design or graphics or whatever, like whoever laid their s**t out was really good like that. Those are so scary. It was awesome. The you know, the whole SS thing, you know, the lightning bolts and the black with the red trim. I mean, just picture their suits. And by the way, everything from the German helmet that the infantry guys wore that we ended up copying. You know, if you took the British helmet of American helmet, it looked like s**t compared what our helmet now, 50 years later, looks the same as theirs. But everything from the infantry to the brown shirts, the guys in the SS to Hitler and the long dusters, the hats, the flags, like the whole thing, was aesthetically very well executed. And you know, it was weird that they it was weird that they branded their war in a weird way, almost like with logos. And I mean, you know, they had a very coherent brand statement. Yeah, there were. There were sort of, as Hitler said, I want everything to say kills the Jews. I'm just saying, Mr. Draper, he should say to me, kills, did you see there's a Slim Jim marketing meeting somewhere where the guy calls everybody and he's like, All right guys, don't take this the wrong way, but let's take a cue from the Nazis. Well, I bite. I'd say I'd say Germans in the 40s and let people do the math. I'm just saying seriously, like if you take a look at like the Japanese, their uniforms look kind of crappy hats or crappy. The planes even look sort of bulbous. And, you know, the zero did not look like the Messerschmitt. You know, that was stream. It looked like it looked like a great white shark, you know, I mean, like in in an alternate history film about World War Two, it's very easy to accept that the Germans were building a super laser. Yeah. You take a look at that s**t. You're like, these guys have a super laser. Yeah, they well, they were working on rockets and other other forms of that. Well, and we basically, you know, they, you know, took a lot of their scientists or collected a lot of them after they fled and build an atom bomb. I'm just saying, if you take a look at the tiger tank, it looks a lot better than our Sherman tank. Our Sherman tank looks like a little pile of cash yet, and the tiger tank looks awesome. And if it if for some reason, the tank shot a beam that opened up a gate to another dimension and a demon came out, you'd be like, OK, well, yeah, sure, that's what you're, but I can understand. That's what it's everything they did was aesthetically the machinery was better looking. The clothes were better look and everything was better looking, guy. We're going to come a flexible pro-Nazi pro-Nazi of the sitting right there in May. I think we should bomb them again. I've taken a controversial, not pro-Nazi stance yet, but I know I'm the guy who thinks we should bomb Germany again. I'm just saying, give the devil their due. Their outfits looked awesome. Christoph Waltz look damn good in those days. The thing, though I had, I had Rob Halford from Judas Priest on the Sound of Young America, and Rob Halford has been out since the early 90s and I had this conversation with him. I said, like after you came out, did you ever like, have a good laugh about the fact that you were wearing the gayest outfits of all time onstage? I don't know if I said gayest outfits of all time. And he was totally on board. He's like, Yeah, like, I didn't even say. He said he didn't even necessarily think of them as being the gayest outfits of all time at the time. Right, right. But now looking back and today, when he goes on stage with Judas Priest, which he denies and he's hell bent for leather, he says, Yeah, this is great. I'm super gay, right? Yeah, no. It's it's obviously incredibly ironic that the guy's wearing a in a studded leather codpiece and chaps and all this kind of, you know, collective cop sunglasses. And everyone's like, those guys rock. That guy must pull down tons of pussy on the road at all, all that kind of stuff. It is so weird. Well, the whole gay thing, it's it's just it's such a fine line, but you just take chaps, just chaps. In general, chaps are worn by the gayest man on the planet and the most heterosexual man on the planet, the guys in the Pro Pro Bull Riding tour. You know what I mean? So there it is. There's that one. So it's so if you just squint a little bit, the the manliest man on the planet will look like the gayest man on the planet. It's a fine line. You know, I grew up in San Francisco, and the sort of the one of the things that you learn is that if the gay community as a whole is like so much more comfortable with the idea of like of moving back and forth in the sort of gender continuum. And so there's gay dudes who are just like a crazy parody of masculinity, just like there's gay dudes who are drag queens. It's like a crazy parody of femininity. They got a lot of range. And I said it once said it a thousand times. I wish there was more gays on this planet. I don't. I basically, I'm just an atheist. I do plenty of judging. Don't don't get me wrong, I think it's hysterical. The idea that these guys are, you know, cornhole each other and making out and stuff, and I couldn't watch it, I would throw up. Don't get me wrong, but I don't judge, but you'll laugh at the idea and laugh at the idea. But here's here's the thing. I just simply break down groups into there's a big pot. What are they putting into the pot? What are they taking out of the pot? And the gays pay a lot of taxes. Lots of income. Not so many kids filling up the school system, and they've created in West Hollywood where I live. What I like to call the brunch district where there is three blocks of pure brunch. Well, it's a pretty I've said it many times, and it's a pretty simple equation, and everyone thinks this is xenophobic, but listen, I'm not going to be homophobic, so I got to be something. The point is this if I took an alien culture, if I always like to get outside of our culture, even this planet, I just took an alien down. I think we are. I'd like to get outside this planet where we get the chance and I would walk an alien. I would I would get on Santa Monica and I would stand on Santa Monica and Western Boulevard. For those of you who don't know, that's. Ironically, I guess that's sort of east or something, but or north. But either way, it's I would stand on the corner of Western and Santa Monica and I'd say, Hey, Mister Alien, look around and look around and see a lot of graffiti. See a lot of trash. You see a lot of gum on the sidewalk. It's a seemingly unattended baby's life. Maybe a lot of unattended babies running around. He'd look, cross the street and see a Home Depot filled with day laborers and, like I said, barbed wire on the freeway signs, graffiti on every other sign park. Every every bus bench had been vandalized and I'd say, Drink at it. Look around. What do you think? How do you feel? You feel good. That's a now journey with me. And he'd say, where to another part, another region of your land? I'd say now about a mile and a half down this street. We're going to just take Santa Monica and we're going to walk toward the beach and we're going to go. We're going to go about a two mile journey here. And now we're standing in the middle of boys town on Santa Monica, same straight two, three miles down, heading west. All right now, look around, Mr. Alien. What do you see here? Say well, well quaffed people who are look like they've exfoliated themselves to the point where they've shaved 10 years off their life. The median in the road looks like you've got golf off of it. It's like putting green the the the sidewalk looks like you could like. If you dropped a piece of sushi on that sidewalk, you'd pick it up and eat it. Sure, the stores are all manicured. Everyone's literally manicured. People seem happy. They seem like they're good shape. They're walking with a sense of purpose. They're tiny dogs. Are you see sense of purpose? Any dogs? A seamy graffiti? No. Do you see any garbage? No. Do you see any old sofas pulled out to the curb? No. Well, which people would you like to have more of Mr. Aliens? And he'd go. Well, that's easy. These people, these people are clean and they recycle, and they seem to run a very tight ship. But here's the other people. I'm not saying who they are. I'm just saying they're not these people. I think it's your mistake with this alien because you haven't shown this alien. Any practical lesbian moms, practical lesbian moms. Look, I have a lot of love for the gentleman in the gay community again. I'm from San Francisco. It's it's part of the fabric of my life. Sure. But if I had to, if I was going to choose one group to represent the people of America to the alien, it would undoubtedly be practical lesbian moms because they're organizing the block parties, right? They're the ones of raising funds for the schools. Sure, they're the ones driving the practical cars, right? They're the ones introducing themselves to you on the street. They're an offshoot of gay there. They're just more gay. That's bad. Finally, gay, but they're still just gay. I mean, they're gay, right? The part of the gays, they're part of the gay community. Yeah, right. But there's dual incomes. They're not crapping out a bunch of f**king kids. They're going and grabbing kids from Honduras. Who would it be or be living off the street and saving their life, essentially. And and and taking them to a school where they learn some circus skills? Yeah. Yes. Visiting Shirley people in the neighborhood. Yeah, I know I'm I'm. I'm with you on this. I'm just saying the next time you think about the gay bash and just think about these people, how much they put in and how little they take out. Yeah. So I'm saying, Hey, you guys want to. And speaking of funds, by the way, I should tell folks that our Irvine show is going to be on sale this Friday, March 5th. We keep the lights on around here by doing live shows and then we sell them for two. Ninety nine, download who, who's any, any guests, any guests and Bill Burr comedian Bill Burr there. Wilbur was on the Sound of Young America once, and he's man, that guy is a sharp tack Dove Davidoff is on. I don't know if you know that comedian and Ralph Garman from out here on the craft who does the walks the showbiz be. It's a good show and everyone who was there. Well pays about fifty dollars because it's like thirty bucks for the ticket and then a two drink minimum. And of course, you have to tip your waitress. That's like 50 bucks ahead. We'll give you the whole 90 minutes for two ninety nine. And like I said, we'll keep the lights on Jordan over here. Bargain to you. Yes. Yes, it does. And it's again, it's it's tricky because we have to ask for money every once in a while since how have a warehouse filled with people and we have to try to pay them? All right. Shall we hop on the phones? Let's do this. All right, which start at the top and work our way down? Hey, Matt. Yeah, Adam, how are you? What's going on? I was just wondering the on Friday when you got c**k block by Chris Rock when he did that walk on. Yeah, boy. If I had a nickel for every time I was c**k block by Chris Rock, I'd be a rich, rich man. Yeah. You were supposed to play the first black president, right? And then Chris Rock came in at the 11th hour and took the role, the lead role of head of state. Yeah, I was doing that. Yeah. I say this. Let me say this about Chris Rock and I say it's about all these people. And I know I sound like a f**king huge dick when I say this. But you know, I get a lot of this like, Hey, man, Chris Rock, that guy is the funniest guy in America. And it's like, No, he's not because he's made 10 movies and seven of them have been s**t. And these are this isn't the razor's edge with Bill Murray. He's trying to do comedy and then funny and people go, Yeah, but his standup is really awesome. And I go, OK, I'm just saying, when you're working, a guy's batting average, you don't go. This guy's the greatest hitting third baseman of all time because he got up to the plate a hundred times and he got 100 hits. And it's like, No, he got to the plate 700 times and he got 100 hits, which doesn't mean he's a great hitter. Let me ask you this about it, Adam. You your Chris Rock. You know that you're one of the worst actors in America, right? I'm absolutely on board with you. I think that Chris Rock is probably one of the funniest people in the world, but I also think he's one of the worst actors on God's green earth. Somebody is offering you half a million dollars to do standup comedy or $10 million to be in a terrible movie once a year. Oh, you don't take the $10 million. He definitely takes the money and does the s**tty movie. But I'm saying with the $10 million comes, you can't. You can't have your funniest man in America. Yes, you've sold a little bit of your legacy for $10 million. Sure. You're making a really s**tty movie. But some of those movies he like, writes and directs and you know, he's a star. So the point is is no one is handing him a really s**tty script and saying it with a big pile of money on top of it and saying, Just take this. A lot of it is I'm going to sit down and write an unfunny script. I'm just saying you're mantle of funniest man on the planet with a whole string of s**tty movies in your rearview mirror. I feel the same way about Richard Pryor. Like we were. Oh man, that guy said, Oh, that guy. That guy made tons of s**tty movies, really s**tty movies, and everyone wants to separate that. No, that's your legacy. And if you made a bunch of s**tty TV shows or a bunch of s**tty movies, yes, sorry. That's what you get, Nic Cage, you do. You do, though, have a picture of Elvis dressed as some kind of Egyptian king on your wall. Yes, I do. I just wanted to go up an octave there. That's Donny Spector. OK. And yes, Elvis is considered a joke for those movies he made, and that's what he did. Him and the colonel cranked out a bunch of every one of his movies made a profit. All right, thank you. Donnie made a profit. Thank you, Danny. So I'm. Yeah. So if you ever see Donnie run, either somebody is talking s**t about Elvis or bongs about to fall over. Those are just two other. What is the bottom line? What if a bong water is about to spill on a picture of Elvis? Then it's a slow motion dive. Oh, nice, while an explosion goes off behind. Sure, it's like the matrix style picture cage and the rock jumping off the island. While that while the whole thing's being napalm. Sure, there's a few good Chris Rock, did you see? I think I love my wife that he wrote with Louis C.K.. Yeah. Another candidate for funniest person in the world. Not bad. Yeah, it was for no. No. But that's that's the whole thing too, though, when you're talking about these guys who are great comedic minds. Louis C.K. one of them. Chris Rock another. Their hits shouldn't be, you know, he wasn't. It wasn't. It was. I definitely got through it. It wasn't a we should be f**king going man. That s**t was Blazing Saddles or that was lost in America. That was defending your life. That was Annie Hall or something. We should be saying that not it wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. Yeah, I don't think we're we're I don't think we're saying that, you know, a brilliantly funny person can't make a huge mistake, but they knew. Yes. When you make that mistake passes, it's like when you make them. A state times a year at a certain point to me, you lose your title as funniest guy in America right now. Chris Rock. The way, the way the whole Bill Maher thing went was, I did it last weekend or last Friday, and I said, We're going to bring me on halfway into the show. They had their panel and they're going to bring me on. Bill sits here and the three other people sit across from him, and then I was going to come in and sit down in the chair next to him and do some, you know, guest panel, whatever segment interview. I was sitting in the wings. They always, you know, they always doing TV shows. I don't know why I hate this, but they freeze you. They it's like icing a kicker. You guys wouldn't know anything about the sports analogies, but they go, Get you. Oh, I wouldn't know about icing a cupcake. And they all right. They do this. You're in your dressing room. You're kind of going over what you're going to talk about and kind of walk yourself through it a little bit if I understand this correctly. The kicker that's the on a football team. That's the woman or donkey that plays for the. That's correct. You've watched enough movies with Disney movies. You know, it's either donkey and also football. That's like a fancy scarf. Yes, like a plaid scarf. And they go and get you and they say to you, it's time to go and you go down from your dressing room and which is probably pretty comfy. The dressing room probably a nice place to be the door shot. Sure, you're kind of get your thoughts together. They go, Look, if you're if you're Morten Andersen, then you've got a nice kicker dressing room. Yeah, we're talking about soccer, right? Freddy, un gay of you. Maybe I'm down. You know what you just got bumped to by. You got bumped up to by. Here's to me, America. You went, you went from coach to business. You're not in first class, which is straight yet. So I'm in some sort of like, I'm in some sort of you're standby. OK, nice steric. I think the point is, frankly, Adam, given the fact that I may say I'm an internet men's style series, I think by is about as far as I'm going to get. Yeah, all right. Like, even being married to a woman only brings me to buy a beard given the context. So I want to be very clear on where I am. I am in some sort of area with crates of chickens sucking a c**k. Yes, OK, thanks alertly. Just wanted to be fairly attached to man or a chicken just floating c**k. Sure. So they go and they get you and they say, it's go time and you walk down the stairs and you walk down these long halls. They say, I leave you. Yeah. Or they it's time to go. You know, it's not in the way of clarification when you say they come to get me. In this case, I'm longtime Detroit Lions kicker Eddie Murray was back yard yard. Stenner Okay. And you go there and you walk and your adrenaline starts going like, All right, here we go. It's time to go. And then you stand by the edge of the stage for ten minutes and watch the show thinking, I'm really uncomfortable. I need to take a pee now. Now I'm getting dry mouth. I where's my water? And I wish they'd just come get you and walk you out on a stage and never do so. I was standing there waiting to step in. And Chris Rock stepped in. He was doing Wanda Sykes Show, which is filmed upstairs and just literally walked onto the set. And I guess you hear comedy clubs about comedians dropping in. He just does this on a TV show. That's for you guys. He knows Ma and whatever, and he dropped them. They dropped in and talk for two or three minutes before I got out there, and it didn't make a difference to me. And people are like, Oh, what about you? What about Adam? One. I understand Chris Rock is a big star and I'm not too. He's allowed to do what he wants in the show. Producers are allowed to do what they want. And I didn't feel slighted in the in the least, and I went in and sat there for 25 minutes doing my s**t anyway, so I can understand that. I mean, if it had been, if it had been me, I feel like I'm a I'm about the same level as sort of star as Chris Rock. So you should have been they would have been offended. I mean, he's never I mean, let's see that guy hosted a public radio show. Yeah, you know what I mean? Listen, Jan Schakowsky, if he had slid in front of you, you know, I'm sorry. What was that Mike Colfer? Yes. I don't know what you guys are thinking about. Yeah, that's that's the whole game that I'm just going to. Let's try to take another call. Hey, Jim. That's me. What's up? Nothing. This is a huge thrill. I'm a fan of. Both shows have been for a long time. And you guys have actually something unusual in common that I wanted to ask you about. All of you seem to have this amazing ability not to get dragged into the fray, if you know what I mean. Like Adam, you had a period where Jim Brewer was trying to start some s**t with you, and some guy last week was like, You know, I think between something between you and Jimmy Pardo for some reason. All right. And along those same lines, like Jordan and Jesse, had an unfortunate incident with a webcomic this week that ruined my whole day. But they seem to take it in stride and we're very positive about it. I wanted to know how you guys managed to stay so positive in the face of the internet and public radio, hate mail and stuff like that. I get some really awesome power you should. Well, I can only speak so I can only speak for Jesse here. Just, you know, would you speak for me? I have a cop to suck, and I'm going to be busy with that for about a year. Jordan can't speak with a charismatic mom, always told him, never speak with a full mouth. Yes, my mom was a delicate southern lady and she always told me, If you have a c**katoo, well, how do I'll I'll tell you how I deal with it, and then you guys tell me how you deal with it. Go ahead. Oh, how do you deal with? I mean, we're living in a time when it's unlike any other time in human existence, when anybody can just sit down at their laptop or notebook computer and just say the most horrible things about anybody and they can base it on nothing. But it doesn't matter. And then they have a pseudonym and their master chief for 20, and you don't know who it really is. They could even claim to have seen your movie and never to have seen it or read your book and never to have read it, you know, and say whatever it is and and say they speak for people they don't speak for. So how do you deal with that? It's hard, isn't it? I get I get two kinds of I get two kinds of this stuff. One is the Public Radio Hate Mail that's usually focused on grammar. Really? Oh, yeah, sure. Occasionally, it's focused on the fact that someone on my show last instead of being serious. Maybe, maybe you don't feature enough zydeco music. Yeah. Why are you presenting zydeco? Yeah, I've heard 80 minutes of zydeco music. We're two hours into the broadcast. What the f**k? What washboard? They write me these angry letters. Why did you interview an American rapper when you could have interviewed a child, soldier, rapper from Africa? Right, right. So those are like, pretty consistently laughable. And I'll usually recommend I'll usually send them a link to where they can buy a Sound of Young America T-shirt. So you, you, you, but you will respond. Yeah, I usually do respond. I mean, one of the things about my show is it's a it's a very small operation. It's me, and the sound of Young America is me and an editor who works for me two days a week and an intern. And that's it. So my email address that I give out at the end of the show is actually my email. It's like the same email address that Jordan would use to send me an email, right? So I'll respond to it. Then I usually I'll shut it down. Like, it's hard. It's hard not to get caught up into something, but then I'll shut it down. But the bigger thing is, yeah, that kind of internet invective that comes at you and it's hard. It's so hard. I know for me it's so hard to remember that, you know, there's no way to get in a fight with someone who's doing that and win. Right? Anything you do is a loss. Hey, they have tons of, you know, venom and ire and secondly, tons of time. You don't have anything against them and you don't have any time. So you're really you've you've got into a knife fight with a chapstick and that you don't want to enter a knife fight with a chapstick. That's the thing. Jordan, what about you? Yeah, no. You know, for I guess my my two things that I do a fuel TV, I receive a surprisingly small amount of feedback for. Maybe that's big. Maybe I'm not saying that's in everyone's satisfied. That's what. Yeah. You know, one time I was walking by and I heard some guy with a big neck tattoo say to his girlfriend, There's that f*ggot from fuel TV. But that's basically all the commentary I've gotten out of your a*s and throw it at him. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, you don't, you know, you don't get tons of Nash and Ben in as far as just, you know, internet like, you know, we we mentioned we got some nasty words from a from a webcomic this week. Yeah, I just like to be a guy who doesn't sit in front of the internet all day and do stuff. I'm blissfully ignorant. I yeah, battles going with people that I don't know. I have battles going with this Jim bro who didn't know that goat boy hated you. I didn't. And what? Wait a minute, the Jim Breuer. I said, Well, what? What happened was, as I said, the guy I was at. We had David Alan Grier on my radio show. He was listed as like Comedy Central's list of top comedians or something, and he was number 97 and number 95 was Jim Breuer. And I was just making fun of my friend David Alan Grier saying, Dave, Jim Brewer, Jim and Jim Brewer was on my radio show. I was on Loveline years ago and he wasn't funny at all. So you're behind a guy who's not funny at all. And it was it was harsh to say about him, I wasn't going out of my way to attack him. I was just using him as an example to really attack David Alan Grier. Jim Brewer doesn't realize that he's kind of a funny cultural figure. He was on Saturday Night Live. Briefly, he had a couple of funny characters. He was in half baked, you know, f**k you, dude. We can use you as a punch line like, well, especially when you're making fun of the guys in front of you. But yeah, yeah. No. And I wasn't based. Basing it on anything other than Jim Breuer came and did my radio show. He may have had a bad night. That's the only experience I had with Jim Breuer, and he wasn't funny in the two hours he was on Loveline. So what's really laughable to me about this whole thing is that Jim Breuer was in the top 10, and I think we all agree that's the attack, not me. He has, yeah, he has this call with Comedy Central, whoever FHA or whoever made the list. But the point is, I don't know. I said so. He then got fired at me as he showed up. He should have been insulted and started saying I wasn't funny and f**k that guy and blah blah blah. But the problem was, is, I never knew about it because I don't listen to anything and I don't watch anything and I don't know anything. So all these guys, I don't listen anyone's podcast. So I didn't listen to Sirius Radio. I didn't have any of that stuff going on. So I didn't know any of that stuff and tell Greg Fitzsimmons told me. I guess you've been hearing all about this Jim Breuer stuff that's been going on for the last few weeks. And I said, I don't I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, yeah, sure. I read about it in people. Yeah, it was in the Christian science on their front page. Well, that's the whole thing. So really the best revenge is not participating at all and not even knowing I had no idea. But when I talked to great Fitzsimmons, I said, Tell Jim Breuer, I'm sorry, you're right. I said he was unfunny on my radio show, and I could see where that would hurt his feelings. And I don't know if he's still going off about me or not. And as far as the Jimmy Pardo thing, I don't know what that is. So let me say, as a as a friend of Jimmy Pardo, it is not anything Jimmy Pardo could not have less against Adam Carolla. I think he's a big fan. I am. I seem like a nice guy, and I did his show and I liked him. So my thing is is I don't read the emails, I don't read the articles, I don't LexisNexis myself. I don't know anything. I don't listen to him. I don't do anything. I just go home and watch modern marvels beat off and go to bed. And if we all and that's it, noon sometimes what? All odds are really good. Modern marvels. You might be off twice. Right, right? It's it's it's really marvelous to modern f**kable to this scenario. Is that what's causing you to beat up? Well, if it's a really marvelous, marvelous. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. I want you to find the man who won't jack it to the Brooklyn Bridge or at least get a just a boner, just like if they're doing the Sears Tower, you can beat off if they're doing like wicker. Next thing you know, you can check that season 12 of modern Bible. It's funny when they do those kind of shows where they explore factories and stuff. And like season one, they're at the Ferrari factory and they're at the Sony factory. And that's like, now it's season 18. Factory. Yeah, when's the last time you guys saw how a shrimp diviner was put together, huh? I guess you're out. You're out of factories now. Modern marvels go from being like, Well, we can build a bridge over a three mile wide river to. We have a tire that it shows the channels where the water goes. And it's also like a producer's dad who knows every line from Caddyshack Nutmeg. It's been around since the Egyptians used it in there. And they're right embalming techniques. Now we go to the nutmeg factory and it's like, All right, you guys take a season off, let somebody else build a new bridge or a subway or a channel. You know you want to get out of the gate with the channel. Right? Actually, f**king channel under a five mile or 10 mile stretch of river? And all of a sudden, yeah, we're at the garlic press. People talk a lot about what's wrong with the television industry. They say it's TiVos. They say it's the rise of the internet. I think the problem is they're just not building enough channels. Yeah. Somebody spreads, Jesse, you just built a channel to my heart. Jesse Thorn, Jordan Morris again can be found on Jordan, Jesse Go and also the Where the Hell's the plug here. The sound of Young America so well. Toss out websites, guys, people, tweets or whatever. All this stuff is maximum fun, dawg. So both the Sound of Young America and Jordan Jesse go on Maximum Fun Dawg and I do this men's style show. Speaking of how gay I am, Cheryl called, Put this on. Let's put this on, buddy, you got bumped to by now. I know I'm trying to kick it back now. Don't kick it back up until the buy back. All right, those Jordan, Jesse go, Jordan Morris has been on the show several more times. Jesse Thorn was an early listener. He loved the Frank Stallone episodes and began citing them specifically. Maximum fun still going strong. Much like the digital. All right, that is a four days clips come up tomorrow and the cruel classic speed we're going to have. An all guest hosted a series of episodes that aired the following week. After this Will Adam was filming his NBC pilot. So we're going to flashback to that tomorrow. Make sure you subscribe. Hope you guys enjoy. Until then, Marlo and get on. Four doors, four belts. That was only three clicks. Where's the last leg? Somebody somewhere in their seatbelt? I need to ask him to put it on. But what if you asked me? What if the others take off their belts in solidarity? What if I don't ask? However bad you think asking will be? It's nothing compared to what could happen if you don't. Would you mind wearing your seatbelt? No problem. Asking your mates to wear seatbelts won't kill you every time every trip. Everybody belt up a message from the Road Safety Authority.